this post was submitted on
1,550 points (54% like it)
8,842 up votes 7,292 down votes

funny

subscribe2,576,813 readers

6,473 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 294

[–]LostInStereoSounds 198 points199 points ago

The face she makes though...

[–]oberbernou 71 points72 points ago

the face they both make

[–]thunderblumpkin 14 points15 points ago

face

[–]Thor_Odin_Son 14 points15 points ago

faces

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

I'll be honest. I read this as feces.

[–]cefriano 11 points12 points ago

What got me is the way the dog wriggels out at the end.

[–]YoureMyBoyBloo 10 points11 points ago

I have a black version of that dog... but he hates me more.

[–]douchezilla 59 points60 points ago

I excel at lip reading -- that dog clearly says "FUCK THAT" followed by mumbled profanities.

[–]Twitchh 22 points23 points ago

I read it as "FUCK YOU" followed by "Fuck this, I'm out."

[–][deleted] 525 points526 points ago

I hate little bitch dogs like this. The owners seem to never discipline them because they are small. Then they get a viscous biter and pretend it's cute. Or a little bitch dog like this will snap and bite people and the owner will say something like "I don't know why he does that" YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING TO CORRECT THE BEHAVIOR YOU TWIT

[–]beepborpimajorp 18 points19 points ago

I just wanted to point out that dogs like this are largely caused by their owners. One of the major problems with people who get pomeranians and other toy breeds is that they want what is essentially a cat in a dog body. All dogs, regardless of breed, need some form of exercise and mental stimulation. A pomeranian isn't going to be happy sitting in a purse for 18 hours of the day, and then the rest of the time in a small apartment or crate. Of course it's going to lash out.

Pomeranians were bred from the spitz line, which were originally working/sled dogs like huskies. They may have gone down in size, but their drive to work and exercise hasn't diminished at all. Very few people seem to understand this and think they're basically cotton balls meant to be toted around as an accessory.

I feel like small/toy breed dogs get an unfair rap based on some perceived Napoleon complex. While it's true that toy dogs are not a good choice to have around children, it's moreso because kids generally don't understand that small things = fragile. If a giant was toddling towards me and looked like it was about to pull my limbs off, I'd get a little wary too. Again, it's the owner's fault for putting the dog in a situation where it's likely to be uncomfortable.

Also, just because a dog is a toy breed doesn't mean it's a stuffed animal that loves to be snuggled. All animals are different and have different levels of comfort when it comes to things we human view as signs of affection. There is no such thing as hugging or snuggles in the dog world. Just smells, body language, and auditory signals. Thus, me going up to my dog and hugging it is going to make it go, "I do not understand this but I like my human and I like being touched so okay!" but if I go up to a dog that isn't comfortable with its space being invaded it's going to be like, "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I'M BEING ATTACKED BARKBARKBITEBITE GET AWAY!" People like the lady in the OP seem to just think fluffy dog = yaaay snuggles without regards for what the dog wants, and so they get bitten. As they should.

So really there's no real predisposition for toy dogs to be aggressive like this. It's always the fault of the owners for not doing their research, and it's a darned shame.

And sorry for the tl;dr. I realize you weren't really commenting about it but there seemed to be some negative views towards toy breeds in this thread that kind of made me frown.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Yea you're right. Now that I think about it, I do notice many more people with bigger dogs actually do things with them. And a lot of people with toy breeds just kinda keep them around the house and don't really take them out and give them the stimulation they need.

It would kinda be akin to have a human just stay in a room all day long with no stimulation, they'd get ...weird to say the least.

[–]beepborpimajorp 1 point2 points ago

Exactly. And a lot of people seem to think exercise is the only thing dogs need, which is totally untrue. Mental stimulation is key as well.

Dogs get most of their sense of the world from smelling things. When I walk my dogs I do it both to exercise them (and me) but also so that they can stop and sniff things on the way.

Toy dogs seem to get the worst end of this stick because even if their owner does take them out, it's assumed that small = less exercise so they get taken maybe down the block at best. :(

[–]nyya_arie 1 point2 points ago

Agreed completely. Good exercise and mental stimulation solves a lot of problems with dogs. My little chihuahua LOVES long walks and really enjoys finding interesting smells. Too many people think little dogs either don't need walks or don't need them often.

[–]beepborpimajorp 1 point2 points ago

Exactly. That's why I kinda balk sometimes when I hear friends or people asking, "Well which dog would need less attention? Should I just get a toy breed?" Umm...no? They're all dogs. They all need attention. I swear this is one thing that really ticks me off about people who mistake breed recommendations. "Well it says here that pugs require less exercise time because blahblahbloo." Some dogs may need less exercise, but they still need stimulation!

[–]nyya_arie 1 point2 points ago

What dog needs less attention? Let's see, this stuffed animal here should do the trick.

[–]beepborpimajorp 2 points3 points ago

Hahaha. One of the shelters I visited actually kept a cage with a stuffed animal in it. If any potential adopters came in and essentially went, "We'd like a low fuss pet that is quiet, easy to take care of, low cost, and clean." they'd take them to the crate with the stuffed dog and tell them they were welcome to it.

[–]SadGirl_1993 0 points1 point ago

I have a chihuahua mix and I took him for a 2 mile walk. I ended up carrying him because he got so tired. :) he follows me everywhere and we do spend a great deal of time outside

[–]helgihermadur 128 points129 points ago

You have to keep it in mind that smaller dogs inherit more agressive behavior than the larger ones. It's probably got something to do with self-defense.
On the other hand, a lot of people get small dogs because they think owning it will be so easy, and therefore do a terrible job at it.

[–]khodithelight 101 points102 points ago

A small dog is just like a big dog. You treat it like it is the boss of you, it will learn to be the boss of you. Look at this gif from the boss dog's perspective: the follower dog (ie the lady) is encroaching on the boss dog's (ie the puppy) personal space. Boss dog snaps and moves away. Problem solved.

My senior dog does this to his younger/follower brother dog when his personal space is compromised and he isn't in the mood for it.

[–]helgihermadur 13 points14 points ago

You've got a point there.

[–]stevie_stormborn 23 points24 points ago

The difference between small dogs and large dogs is the size of the poop.

[–]smififty 3 points4 points ago

and weight.

[–]UnturnedStone 7 points8 points ago

Of the dog or the poop?

[–]-RdV- 2 points3 points ago

Quite possibly both.

[–]Astrokiwi 1 point2 points ago

Honestly, that's enough of a reason right there.

[–]usvtheman 9 points10 points ago

It's not necessarily about self-defense, it's about how their owners, and other humans, generally treat them. A small dog can bark and jump on people's legs, and 9 times out of 10 it will just be cast off as "awww, so cute!" But in the dog world they are being dominant and aggressive, and this reaction only reinforces their behavior. If a big dog barks and jumps on someone though, it's scary enough that humans react harshly and reprimand it, not causing the same problem.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

Hard to say whether they are naturally more aggressive, or the owners do not discipline them when they show it. It's hard for me to see how they would be more aggressive from a natural selection standpoint when the breeds haven't been around for a very long time and breeding for aggressiveness isn't something they do with little dogs. So those traits aren't really encouraged in the breed in anyway. Unless the aggressiveness just kinda 'pops-up' which wouldn't make much sense. Or they just know from birth they are tiny and need to act tougher I really don't know.

[–]TheInternetHivemind 67 points68 points ago

It's kind of like being the little guy in prison. You have to act crazy enough to make people leave you alone.

[–]NotSoHelpfulGuy 56 points57 points ago

My chihuahua insisted I upvote this.

[–]OODanK 16 points17 points ago

Mine too! I have a chihuahua, a pitbull, and 2 pitbull mixed mutts. The chihuahua is the boss! I put food out and he decides when they get to eat and i assure you... They aint gettin his cornbread!

[–]Octavian0 2 points3 points ago

... Cornbread?

[–]FarmerTedd 0 points1 point ago

Good Flick

[–]OODanK 0 points1 point ago

Yep! Thanks for clearing that up!

[–]LusciousDanielle 5 points6 points ago

I think they were making a "joke" like the chihuahua was a prison inmate perhaps...

[–]krispyKRAKEN 14 points15 points ago

No, everyone knows you have to feed chihuahuas cornbread or else they turn into gremlins.

[–]kwansolo 0 points1 point ago

or else

[–]nyya_arie 12 points13 points ago

FranklinSense, I used to hate the bitchy little dogs, too -- but now it's just the owners that piss me off. See, I used to really dislike chihuahuas. I mean REALLY did not like them. But one day the dog rescue I did some volunteer work for needed a home for a chihuahua that had just been saved from a kill shelter and I was the only one available to take her in.

I'll never forget the lady handing over this 5lb white dog, so terrified and in such bad shape. She had a giant mammary tumor the size of a plum, not to mention kennel cough, a bladder infection and fleas. But she was, from the start, the sweetest dog you could imagine. After all of the neglect she'd suffered, I cannot understand why she even liked people. But after fixing all of the other problems and getting surgery to remove 4 tumors, she was finally healthy and happier than you could imagine.

Now, we've still had to do some training and correcting with her -- mostly having to do with barking at people who come over and the like -- but with consistent correction, she almost never barks now and is the sweetest dog to everyone, including strangers and other dogs.

It's not the little dog's fault for being bitchy -- it's the people who are responsible!

[–]SI_Bot 6 points7 points ago

SI conversions:

  • 5lb = 2.3 kg

FranklinSense, I used to hate the bitchy little dogs, too -- but now it's just the owners that piss me off. See, I used to really dislike chihuahuas. I mean REALLY did not like them. But one day the dog rescue I did some volunteer work for needed a home for a chihuahua that had just been saved from a kill shelter and I was the only one available to take her in.

I'll never forget the lady handing over this 5lb(2.3 kg) white dog, so terrified and in such bad shape. She had a giant mammary tumor the size of a plum, not to mention kennel cough, a bladder infection and fleas. But she was, from the start, the sweetest dog you could imagine. After all of the neglect she'd suffered, I cannot understand why she even liked people. But after fixing all of the other problems and getting surgery to remove 4 tumors, she was finally healthy and happier than you could imagine.

Now, we've still had to do some training and correcting with her -- mostly having to do with barking at people who come over and the like -- but with consistent correction, she almost never barks now and is the sweetest dog to everyone, including strangers and other dogs.

It's not the little dog's fault for being bitchy -- it's the people who are responsible!

[–]Datastream 2 points3 points ago

Thanks!

[–]Tapeworm77 0 points1 point ago

Most metric countries still use lbs for personal (and dog) weight and height measurements. Except for the UK with their Stones... weirdos. I'm Canadian and have no idea how many kg I weight or how many meters or centimeters tall I am. And why am I talking to a bot?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Oh i know.

[–]hydrogen_wv 0 points1 point ago

Ugh. I used to be with ya about the chihuahuas. When I was about 6 years old, my grandma used to breed them, and she didn't train the adults worth shit. One time, I was playing, not bothering the dogs, one of them snapped and bit me. I panicked and kicked the dog, then got MY ass beat for it by my grandma. Not a good situation.

For the longest time, I hated chihuahuas, until I got to spend some time around ones that were trained properly and weren't complete assholes. I'm still cautious around them, but I've made a few chihuahua buddies. :)

[–]gameguy285 5 points6 points ago

small dogs tend to have more hyperactive personalities. sometimes that makes them aggressive brats and sometimes it makes them stupidly happy and excited all the time. i own two small dogs and each one has one of these attitudes. we trained the aggressive one so he didn't act violent towards people, but other dogs best watch out. he's still an angry ass dog, he just channeled his anger to a different species

[–]nyya_arie 2 points3 points ago

It's actually rather important that you also train him to not be aggressive toward other dogs. A small dog showing aggression to the wrong large dog can lead to death really quickly. It's not that hard to do, but it can take time and requires lots of consistent training if it's behavior that has been ongoing.

[–]gameguy285 3 points4 points ago

we've tried but he won't stop harassing our other dogs. he doesn't always do it, just when he's in the occasional bad mood. but he's a coward at heart. he never messes with a dog unless he's absolutely certain he won't get ripped to shreds. he likes to be a bully but he knows he's a wimp

[–]helgihermadur 2 points3 points ago

Yeah... I think a lot of people who have the smaller dogs get them so they won't harm their children. Kids are certainly not the best people to raise dogs.

[–]LauretteOB 2 points3 points ago

I know that our giant black lab was a super sweetheart and never hurt anyone, while our tiny chihuahua would go psycho crazy barking at people. He only ever bit someone once though, when my mom was holding him and a friend was laughing and slapped her arm, and Chico was like "FUCKER YOU HIT MY LADY AGAIN"

[–]Yunlokzi 1 point2 points ago

I'm going to go ahead and say it's mostly discipline. Had a Lhasa Apso mutt (a pretty temperamental and independent breed) growing up. As long as you assert dominance from a young age, there shouldn't be any issues. Socialization with other dogs is also very, very important. I do have to say too, a lot of dogs don't like it when you get all up in their face unless they really trust you. Not terribly surprised at the outcome between the dog and its human pet.

[–]MissHalfro 6 points7 points ago

Another fun thing to keep in mind - inbreeding! When people purchase a pup from a breeder (BTW - ADOPT YOUR DAMN DOGS PLEASE), they run the risk of purchasing dogs that have come from a long line of inbreeding. These dogs may have significant behavioral and health problems.

[–]countchocula86 8 points9 points ago

Psht, Ive watched plenty of the Dog Whisperer. Its all about asserting your dominance and being the pack leader!

[–]krispyKRAKEN 13 points14 points ago

tssst

[–]seanclaudevandamme 11 points12 points ago

Ju gatta be daaminant. Don't baalidate dat beheebyur.

[–]anAccountUntaken 1 point2 points ago

Small dogs like this aren't the result of natural selection. They don't "inherit" a bad disposition for self-defense.

[–]used_bathwater 0 points1 point ago

This is true. Owner of two black labs a little jack russell and my grandad also has a jack russell. Jack Russells are the most aggravating, get on your nerve animals there is. I love them to pieces but they are so enegertic and hectic 24/7 while the black labs just walk over them if they get i nthe way.

[–]HairlessSasquatch 0 points1 point ago

yes, my sister recently brought home a 10 week old maltese yorkie and he's about 2lbs and an aggresive biter.. and despite all my taps to his side and shouting NO he still does it because small dogs are shit heads

[–]nyya_arie 3 points4 points ago

Tapping him and shouting NO isn't the right tack. It's just being aggressive right back at him. Assuming a dominant attitude with a dog doesn't have anything to do with showing aggression or trying to overpower them with shouts of NO!

You have to maintain a calm, but dominant attitude with the dog. I have a chihuahua and I don't usually have to touch her to correct her. Especially in the beginning, you may have to do a light touch to the neck, but it's a quick, non-aggressive action to help snap them out of it. Hand signals actually work better than words. Some people may or may not agree with what Cesar Milan teaches about dog behavior, but I think it's pretty useful and workable. Watch some Dog Whisperer!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I have a chihuahua mix from the pound who is now 4 years old she isn't aggressive like this. I think it's because I raised her around big dogs (My mom owns a 100lbs German Shepard and my grandmother has a 80lbs Boxer) so therefore she thinks she is a giant dog. Maybe I'll be wrong when she gets older but so far no aggression. You can definitely blame it on how you raise a dog. I firmly believe that.

Edit: Upvote for you for making owners take ownership :) (forgot to add it)

[–]SI_Bot 2 points3 points ago

SI conversions:

  • 100lbs = 45.36 kg
  • 80lbs = 36.3 kg

I have a chihuahua mix from the pound who is now 4 years old she isn't aggressive like this. I think it's because I raised her around big dogs (My mom owns a 100lbs(45.36 kg) German Shepard and my grandmother has a 80lbs(36.3 kg) Boxer) so therefore she thinks she is a giant dog. Maybe I'll be wrong when she gets older but so far no aggression. You can definitely blame it on how you raise a dog. I firmly believe that.

Edit: Upvote for you for making owners take ownership :) (forgot to add it)

[–]mmmsoupy 3 points4 points ago

I blame the violence in tv and video games... It's corrupting the house dogs of the world.:-|

[–]WillBlaze 7 points8 points ago

oh god I know exactly what you mean, this girl I would hang out with all the time was like this... she had one of those little dogs and she used to get mad at me because I've spanked my dog in front of her. I told her "What else are you suppose to do? Have a conversation with the dog? This is the only way I can get it to understand that chewing up wires is bad."

I go over to her house and her little dog is outside barking like it is in it's death throes. I mean really REALLY bad, I was actually worried for a minute but she acted like this happens all the time. I felt horrible for her neighbors, they probably put up with this crap all day every day.

[–]Amp3r 12 points13 points ago

Nothing worse than the awkward moment where you expect a person to discipline their dog/child and they don't. You secretly think about the new rules that the animal just created in their head from the situation

[–]iamthemindfreak 1 point2 points ago

would a viscous biter be able to move fast enough to bite though?

[–]Bob105 4 points5 points ago

How do you discipline a small dog? Yell at them? I know someone with a husky and they give it a smack when it does something bad.

[–][deleted] 27 points28 points ago

It's not about punishment or discipline. It's more about correcting the behavior. if the dog becomes aggressive you can use verbal queues if that doesn't work a light jab to the neck (sounds a lot worse than it is) with two fingers will snap the dog out of it, (it's more of a quick touch) I use that with a sound followed by saying No, in a firm way. If that doesn't work (dog is still biting) If the above method stopped the biting and aggressive behavior no need to go further) If it didn't, you can try the jab again with more force (shock force not pain). But if that method doesn't do anything, then there's no reason to keep doing it.

So next you would put the dog to the ground force it onto it's back and hold it down ( until it's relaxed, and submissive) You can tell when it's at this point because when you release it, it'll just kinda stay there on it's back or on it's side. You never have to hurt a dog to train it. Having it go all the way to this isn't something you'd do every time. If you are consistent with your signals, and progression the dog will learn where it will go if it doesn't stop at the verbal queue's. Because it will learn that the human WILL stop the behavior and will put the dog in it's place (on it's back) if it doesn't stop then. Soon with practice, the dog wont do it period.

It's pretty much the same as a big dog, except ...smaller.

EDIT: I'm no trainer but this is what I do. I've very rarely have to put my dog on it's back. I did last week because he started biting and attacking another dog. You kind have to match the intensity, when he's going crazy and in a fight, saying no doens't do much. In that situation I shoved him away and instantly put him to the ground on his back until he relaxed and became submissive.

[–]Cloud7654 3 points4 points ago

My girlfriend and I have a pitbull pup and the method we use to discipline him is pretty similar to the one you described. The only problem is that almost every time we pin him on his back, he would pee all over the place. Is there any reason for this and is there a way to stop it?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

I'm not sure of a way to stop it but that type of behavior with sporadic peeing usually stops when dogs get older. Like a little human, they have trouble controlling it.

[–]somekindofride 3 points4 points ago

Submissive peeing. A good sign, kind of, because it's submissive behavior. Like FranklinSense said in reply too, it usually stops when they grow out of the puppy stages.

My little girl pit did the same thing constantly. Got her fixed and it helped a ton. Still does it now and then as a submissive thing though, when she thinks she's in trouble (but usually isn't). It's reduced to just a teeny bit, she's about nine months now.

[–]Kwizi 1 point2 points ago

No, submissive peeing is not good. You want the dog to behave because it wants to, not because it is fearful. I would recommend more positive reinforcement and redirection, rather corrections that send her in a hyper-submissive state of mind.

[–]beepborpimajorp 4 points5 points ago

If you switch to a more positive reinforcement method of dog training you'll eventually get your puppy to react to commands and rewards without having to do domination tricks. Your dog is submissive/nervous peeing and if you're not careful it can escalate to a point where he'll do it upon seeing you because he's scared and/or thinks the submission will appease you since, I'm assuming you stop pinning him when he pees. So he'll see it as a "oh crap better pee so they don't roll me, I know they stop when I pee."

Despite what others have said in this thread, it can sometimes stop as a dog gets older. However, I've worked with rescue dogs and I've seen the issue escalate as the dog gets older and tends to get more nervous.

http://pets.webmd.com/dogs/submissive-urination?page=3

t;dr: The obvious answer to your question is that if your dog pees when you're rolling him on his back, stop rolling him on his back and find another method of training.

ETA:I mean honestly you can either change your training tactic and try to stop it at the root of the issue or listen to the other advice and end up like the other person whose dog still submissive pees out of fear. One solves the problem, the other maybe kinda does if you're lucky.

[–]StrikingCrayon 0 points1 point ago

Like others have said its submissive peeing. However I'll caution you on over discipling puppies. Not as in discipling them too often but in escalating discipline to quickly.

Sometime puppies are being dogs and challenging for dominance. Sometimes puppies are just being puppies and not thinking it through. Learning the difference will help you not desensitise the severe punishment.

Most dog advice that is commercially available is for dogs not puppies and though the vast majority is still accurate it occasionally has to be tempered slightly. Especially with such a strong and caring breed as a pity. They are strong enough that you need a depth in your discipline reserve and caring enough that they will get "hurt" emotionally if they don't fully agree with the severity of your response.

[–]Jonny_Stranger 1 point2 points ago

Okay, question, and Google is so far away right now.

My girlfriend has a cat, and the thing will go from being petted (rarely purrs) to biting with so little warning. It did that to me once and I whacked it so hard I basically can-openered my own arm (worth it, of course). Anyways, she refuses to hit it, on the basis that she doesn't hit things smaller than her.

Basically, does this same non-violent system of checking the animals behavior work on cats as well? And at this point the little orange bitch is like 3, so are we past the prime conditioning phase?

edit: I'm two sheets to the wind so I'm upvoting everyone until I get bored. Also, thanks for responding, but I think I'm just going to start headbutting the little motherfuck.

edit 2: I successfully upvoted everyone in the comments. With a trackpad, no less! You know that's a +5 to difficulty.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I don't know a damn thing about cats. sorry

[–]systemchronos 1 point2 points ago

It's never too late to start conditioning a pet. It may be a bit more difficult but it is possible when they are older. My fiancee has had to start conditioning her cats' behaviors recently that were getting out of hand. For minor things like scratching things a spray bottle will work wonders as long as you're consistent about it. I haven't really had much experience with more severe punishments involving more troublesome situations so I don't really know how to comment on the smacking of that cat even though I feel that it was appropriate for biting you (as long as appropriate force is applied).

[–]Amp3r 2 points3 points ago

Ha my friend had a super fluffy cat that wouldn't even feel a spray bottle through all of its fur so they had to get a super soaker to make an impression

[–]Jonny_Stranger 1 point2 points ago

Well I didn't hit it that hard, it was attached to my arm by it's point bits. She tried the spray bottle, but unless she has some sort of dorky belt attachment like an early 2000s cell-phone user it's going to be hard(er) to associate the act with the retaliatory squirt.

[–]beepborpimajorp 2 points3 points ago

Your girlfriend has a cat that's not interested in too much affection. Don't pick it up, hug it, etc. or pet it unless it approaches you first.

Not all animals are the same and some cats, and dogs, prefer to be left alone. They show affection in their own way eventually.

Hitting animals doesn't do any good at all. They'll just come to see you as even more of a threat, especially cats. And if they see you as a threat, they won't want to be around you at all because they'll see you and equate you automatically to pain.

ETA: As a general rule, I actually rarely pick cats up in any way. If you're picking one up, rubbing its belly, or cradling it like a baby, they tend to get even more agitated. Cats usually roll on their backs and show their bellies as a sign of submission and trust. If you reach for their stomachs while they're displaying them, they think of it as you essentially threatening them while they're submitting. That's why a lot of cats will automatically attack if you try to rub their bellies. Not all cats are like this, obviously, but every cat I've ever been around has been.

[–]Patyrn 0 points1 point ago

I have a cat that absolutely loves its belly rubbed. It's so gloriously fluffy.

[–]beepborpimajorp 0 points1 point ago

I'm so jealous man. All the cats we've ever had always would do the "curl up and bite" thing when they got their bellies touched. :(

[–]chimpanzee 0 points1 point ago

Let me guess: Ragdoll?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I dunno, I heard that cats have a lower emotional threshold than dogs do, so when the pleasure from getting petted gets too intense they freak out and bite you. I don't know the how valid this notion is though.

[–]Amp3r 1 point2 points ago

I sort of trained my cat to crave my attention when he was new. Right from the start when we got him from the pound we gave him tons of space and when we played I always made sure I stopped before he was remotely getting bored. I'm not sure if it actually worked but now he is constantly looking for pats and carrying toys around for us to play with. In the beginning he was really negative towards new people but now he greets them at the door and rubs against their legs. Could be completely independent of my "training" but now he never seems to randomly attack people

[–]chimpanzee 0 points1 point ago

When I first got my cat, he was about the same age as your GF's cat, and he pulled some stuff like that - not so much with petting, but he likes to roughhouse and he'd get himself worked up to the point where he was actually-biting, not just play-biting. Anyway, I did basically the same thing that FranklinSense suggested, adapted for felines - put my hand on the back of his neck or just gently hold him in place, or pick him up and hold him on my chest if he was really out of control. The point wasn't so much to assert dominance (though that was part of it) as to make it clear that treating me that way doesn't work out well for him.

He got the idea pretty quickly (over the course of a couple months, maybe?) and it's actually pretty funny, now - he'll still get himself worked up, rarely, but when he gets to that point of wanting to actually attack, he suddenly bolts into the other room, instead. *nom nom nom nom nom blinkblink shoom*

It does seem to me that the difference between escalating to attacking from playing and attacking as a response to petting might be an important one, though. Your GF's cat might not understand that she can leave rather than biting, either because she's been stopped from leaving in that kind of situation before, or just out of territoriality. If that's the case, holding might not help without also teaching the cat that leaving is a good idea - giving her a 'time out' in another room or the bathroom might help with that.

(I definitely wouldn't suggest hitting as a general course of action - there are a few instances where a very quick response like that isn't out of line, but for the most part it seems to me like that would just teach the cat that increased levels of violence are okay - not a good idea for a critter with that many sharp bits that knows where and when you sleep!)

[–]Jonny_Stranger 0 points1 point ago

I'm falling asleep in mere seconds, though I wish I could give you a more full-blooded response. Sharp bits are sinister, etc. Thanks for responding, sleeeeeeeep.

[–]Kowzorz 3 points4 points ago

This is great advice. Dogs were selected by humans as hunting partners and just partners in general because their social structure in packs is that of a hierarchy. Very rarely is a dog actually at the top of the pack, but genetics don't define who's at the top of the pack, so each dog has to know what to do in both situations. If you let it think it's the top of the pack, it will behave in that way, but if you don't, it will behave the way it evolved to: in subservience.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Yup exactly, understanding this is a big part of owning a dog. My dog, knows I'm alpha. He mirrors my behavior, say we are out in the woods and we hear a strange noise, if i ignore it, so does he. If I hear another noise and I pretend to go on alert about it, maybe stand up and look around I can tell my dog is watching me, and will also get up and prop his hears up and look around and even look at me to see what I'm doing about it. It's actually pretty neat.

Having your dog know who's the leader is my main method I use to not get him to run away. He doesn't want to. He wants to stay with the pack.

[–]monstercake 0 points1 point ago

Tsst.

[–]StrikingCrayon 0 points1 point ago

This is pretty much exactly what I do and have always done since I was little. Sometimes people get confused and I just say this is what its mom would do. That is easier for people to understand than this is what a dominant dog would do because most people don't let their dogs argue because they can't tell the difference between an argument and a fight.

My two year old fox terrier / black lab/ rotti goes on her back like once a week because she likes to challenge me constantly and openly. My 12 year old border collie / black lab has only been put on her side twice in her entire life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

When I lived at home, my family had a small dog (I don't think size matters though), when I wanted the dog to do something I took on an aggressive tone and went more for intimidation so he knows he should listen to me. He liked me, but he would listen to me, and we'd play fetch in harmony.

My mom, however, did not take the intimidation approach. He loved her, but wouldn't listen to her. She'd let him out into the backyard and try to call him back, but end up coming to get me to call him because he would listen to me but not her.

Another example is my mom would try to get him to not attack the vacuum cleaner by whining "Nooo" and have to put him behind the fence in another room. I didn't have to do that because the first few times I vacuumed all I had to do was let out a sharp "hey!" everytime he snapped at the machine. He soon learned not to even come near the vacuum when I was using it, and so I didn't have to take him to the kitchen.

My point is, you don't need to hit your dog to get him to obey you. Just be firm, use a bit of intimidation, and positively reinforce good behavior.

[–]KT93 1 point2 points ago

I think you're right about the training, me and a friend had the same type of small dogs (Papillon) and mine was friendly and enjoyed anybodies cuddles where as his was a total psycho bitch and tried to savage your hand off if you tried to pat it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

In the dog's defense...I have never met a nice pomeranian. I still have the scar from when I got bit just over a year ago, I'm shy over 6' and 200lbs.

[–]SI_Bot 0 points1 point ago

SI conversions:

  • 200lbs = 90.72 kg

In the dog's defense...I have never met a nice pomeranian. I still have the scar from when I got bit just over a year ago, I'm shy over 6' and 200lbs(90.72 kg) .

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I have three chihuahuas. It sounds stupid but there was a point in time where I literally had to get on the ground with them and pin them with my hand and hold them to show MY dominance. This was when they were puppies, they are all chill now but VERY protective of me. They bring me dead birds...kinda makes me feel like a god. I love those little stinkers to pieces. They get sprayed with water when they bark at my friends, it only takes one time. I've never had them go potty in the house, chew stuff up or destroy stuff. I can't stand people that don't treat their small dog LIKE A DOG.

[–]StrikingCrayon 0 points1 point ago

Growing up with huge dogs as child I was taught that if a dog treats you like that you kick its fucking ass. As an adult who is a big suck for dogs I still get mad and just pin the fucker to the ground and play the waiting game.

Dogs put in a lot of mental effort because they are in the moment challenging you. As a person you can rationalise that you could sit there till tomorrow and the dog would pass out from exhaustion long before. After 10 minutes they are forced to give in from exhaustion. They can't understand that we won with trickery.

What I don't understand, just like you is how fuck can people not do this with the dog they can hold in their damn hand. The last dog that bit me was a little poodle mutt that weighed under 5 lbs. I spent the next half an hour holding him in the air by his scruff. Just with my elbows resting on my knees till he calmed down. He never fucked with me again. Oh and of course he would mug me with cuddles because after that he always wanted to please me.

tl;dr people should stand up to their fucking dogs. Dogs mean more to me than people but for fuck sake they are dog and should know their place.

[–]SI_Bot 0 points1 point ago

SI conversions:

  • 5 lbs = 2.3 kg

Growing up with huge dogs as child I was taught that if a dog treats you like that you kick its fucking ass. As an adult who is a big suck for dogs I still get mad and just pin the fucker to the ground and play the waiting game.

Dogs put in a lot of mental effort because they are in the moment challenging you. As a person you can rationalise that you could sit there till tomorrow and the dog would pass out from exhaustion long before. After 10 minutes they are forced to give in from exhaustion. They can't understand that we won with trickery.

What I don't understand, just like you is how fuck can people not do this with the dog they can hold in their damn hand. The last dog that bit me was a little poodle mutt that weighed under 5 lbs(2.3 kg) . I spent the next half an hour holding him in the air by his scruff. Just with my elbows resting on my knees till he calmed down. He never fucked with me again. Oh and of course he would mug me with cuddles because after that he always wanted to please me.

tl;dr people should stand up to their fucking dogs. Dogs mean more to me than people but for fuck sake they are dog and should know their place.

[–]BallsackTBaghard 0 points1 point ago

Oh shit, that dog looks vicious as hell. We should put him through an intense training session and correct its behavior ASAP.

lol wut mate. Maybe the dog just doesn't like to be cuddled like that. Shit, even I don't like to be cuddled.

[–]knylok 0 points1 point ago

A dog like this bite me once. I punched it. The owner wasn't impressed with me. I was tempted to punch him too.

Ah, punching. Is there nothing you can't solve?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

One hundred percent agreed. I have a large dog jump at me and nip at my face. A swift kick the chest and he calmed down. Unfortunately a solid blow for a large dog would probably kill a small dog. So it's harder to punish them too. You can't just smack them hardly either.

[–]macadactyl 16 points17 points ago

[–]NotSoHelpfulGuy 6 points7 points ago

Awww shit, that's going up in my cubicle.

[–]Tendie 19 points20 points ago

I think the girl's reaction to the rejection is the best.

Just, "oh. okay then, I suppose that's fine too."

[–]ILL_Show_Myself_Out 8 points9 points ago

Now you know YO PLACE.

[–]SirCatsaLot 7 points8 points ago

NO, no hugs bitch!

[–]arrsquared 7 points8 points ago

Just throwing this out there, but I have a male Pomeranian who is a puppymill rescue, he's super mellow/laid back, not at all yippy & high strung like the stereotype.... but he reacts exactly like the dog in the video. He is very affectionate and friendly but absolutely refuses to be picked up/hugged.

[–]Transcendentalme 27 points28 points ago

This is a funny video, her face is all like "Yep, this is what I have for a pet."

But reddit, not all little dogs are bad. I have an 8 pound Min Pin and he can be a jerk sometimes, but when he is he is only 8 pounds of a jerk, not 60.

Little dogs can be just as devoted, loving, and loyal as big dogs. They really get a bad name.

[–]jannabell 11 points12 points ago

I agree. I don't understand why people one here get into such a circlejerk over hating small dogs. I met some big dogs that are real jerks, aggressive even, and that's 50+ pounds of misbehaved dog. Blame the owners, not the dog.

[–]JHallComicsJHallComics 1 point2 points ago

My mom has a 7 pound Maltese, and she's sweet and timid. The only bad thing you can say is she get's too excited when people come over so she barks if she sees them coming up the driveway.

[–]SI_Bot 1 point2 points ago

SI conversions:

  • 7 pound = 3.2 kg

My mom has a 7 pound(3.2 kg) Maltese, and she's sweet and timid. The only bad thing you can say is she get's too excited when people come over so she barks if she sees them coming up the driveway.

[–]Astrokiwi 0 points1 point ago

My in-laws have a 5 pound poodle. She's ten years old and mostly just sleeps all day... But she does bark when anybody's at the door, but I think that's more guard-dog instinct than aggression.

[–]SI_Bot 1 point2 points ago

SI conversions:

  • 5 pound = 2.3 kg

My in-laws have a 5 pound(2.3 kg) poodle. She's ten years old and mostly just sleeps all day... But she does bark when anybody's at the door, but I think that's more guard-dog instinct than aggression.

[–]cefriano 1 point2 points ago

But you just outlined a major problem people have with owning small dogs. They might love you, but there's a good chance they will be assholes to your friends, who will not enjoy your pet. It's certainly a consideration if you have people around a lot. I'd feel bad (and get rather annoyed) having to apologize for my dog yapping or snapping at my friends all the time.

[–]Transcendentalme 0 points1 point ago

My dog loves everyone as much as he loves me. Everyone loves him because he is so calm and chill and just wants to sleep most of the time. He gives a lot of love and people dig that.

[–]SI_Bot 0 points1 point ago

SI conversions:

  • 8 pound = 3.6 kg
  • 8 pounds = 3.6 kg

This is a funny video, her face is all like "Yep, this is what I have for a pet."

But reddit, not all little dogs are bad. I have an 8 pound(3.6 kg) Min Pin and he can be a jerk sometimes, but when he is he is only 8 pound(3.6 kg) s of a jerk, not 60.

Little dogs can be just as devoted, loving, and loyal as big dogs. They really get a bad name.

[–]FOOGEE 2 points3 points ago

Yeehaw?!

[–]Pillzya177 1 point2 points ago

Agreed, It tends to be the owners fault. From my experience it seems that when people have smaller dogs they think " Oh this dog requires more attention" and tend to baby them and spoil them, but that's not always the case though. I personally prefer bigger dogs just because that's what I grew up with. That and the fact people think my dog is vicious looking even though he's the calmest dog ever. Also Min Pins are the shit.

[–]adanvdo 47 points48 points ago

what a bitch

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]thebassoe 2 points3 points ago

thatsthejoke.gif

[–]Jonny_Stranger 4 points5 points ago

idisagree.gif

[–]Tendie 2 points3 points ago

I don't think that was the joke.

[–]oldmoneey 0 points1 point ago

why not

[–]Iksman12 14 points15 points ago

99 problems and this bitch is one

[–]Cllzzrd 62 points63 points ago

This is why I don't like small dogs.

[–]jannabell 9 points10 points ago

...has no one ever met a large aggressive dog? You would think all big dogs are angels the way the comments make it sound. The owners tend to be most at fault for a dog's behavior. I own both large and small dogs, and they're both great pets.

[–]_Particle_Man_ 4 points5 points ago

My little pussy dog doesnt act like that. But that's because i treat him like a dog and teach him that it's not okay to be a little shithead.

[–]ZombieBroad 17 points18 points ago

I don't like people who judge my dog because she's small. Fuck you, I like all dogs.

[–]Cllzzrd 0 points1 point ago

Is it well trained? The main reason I don't like small dogs (less than 20 lbs seems to be the line) is because an overwhelming majority of the ones that I have met have little to no training.

If your dog is small and well trained, I would love to meet her.

[–]schnapps7 7 points8 points ago

I've met many poorly trained large dogs. I don't go around expressing my hate for big dogs. It's hyperbolic to make statements like that.

[–]pizzlybear 16 points17 points ago

Big dogs always seem nicer and more friendly. I wonder if it's because a lot of small dogs were bred specifically to hunt and kill vermin, where bigger dogs were bred for things like guarding.

[–]cait_sith 30 points31 points ago

because corgis are working dogs. they're used to being part of a herd. for the record, corgis are the best dogs I have ever had.

toy breeds are just pointless.

[–]hiddenziggurat 7 points8 points ago

Everything I clicked on in this post just got better and better. Well done.

[–]cait_sith 0 points1 point ago

oh. my. god. i love it.

[–]bbchan 0 points1 point ago

I lost my shit at the third one.

[–]SadGirl_1993 0 points1 point ago

Love. It

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Corgis are not too small though. Closer to middle than small.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

It's like Small man syndrome, The smaller they are the bigger the bark.

[–]darwyn4 15 points16 points ago

Small dog syndrome.

They act differently because they're treated differently.

[–]SoggyCheez 4 points5 points ago

That is a very angry hair wad you have there.

[–]Dragonfire138 3 points4 points ago

Saw the post's name and immediately thought "ya crazy Dutch bastard!".

[–]Uhrschnur 9 points10 points ago

"NO im out!"

[–]megasam90 3 points4 points ago

GETTHEFUCKOFFME!

[–]Msheno 1 point2 points ago

I said no cuddling.

I am out, bitch.

[–]hyperstellardreams 6 points7 points ago

You crazy dutch bastard.

[–]SeparateCzechs 2 points3 points ago

You know what that little bitch dog just said? "I was a wolf once! I was a wooolf, and you fekking monkeys made me this!!!"

[–]Chachathefox 2 points3 points ago

[–]memeaddictedchick 4 points5 points ago

Hahahaha it puts it's paws out like "UGH!"

[–]Spaghettioes 1 point2 points ago

Sibsy, is that you?

[–]girl_michael 1 point2 points ago

shimmy shimmy shimmy

[–]shmachelo 1 point2 points ago

HA! It's fun to imagine there's a bigger dog just out of frame that caused the spazz out, then dragged the pomeranian to the floor.

[–]Die-Nacht 1 point2 points ago

This is my GF and her cat. ALL the time.

[–]lexxx3085 1 point2 points ago

The face the dog makes Looks like Bilbo trying to get the ring.

[–]THX_1139 1 point2 points ago

She so instantly accepts defeat.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

Bitch I'm fabulous, don't touch me!

[–]magic_mermaids 2 points3 points ago

My mom was a vet tech for around 20 years, and the only dogs that ever bit her were small ones.

[–]a4moondoggy 2 points3 points ago

I love dogs...except those kind.

[–]helgihermadur 1 point2 points ago

I once had a Pomeranian just like this one. The meanest creature in existence.

[–]Horny_Troll 0 points1 point ago

i had bitches like that

[–]DeFeet 0 points1 point ago

This is basically my sister's dog 24/7, he's the most schizo dog I've ever known...

[–]tbar4 0 points1 point ago

"Off with ITS head"

                     -Queen of Hearts

[–]NickelFish 0 points1 point ago

Is it just me, or does your brain insert the sound of the dog snarl when you watch it?

[–]Sneezes 0 points1 point ago

I used to like small dogs because they are easier to hug and carry around, but yeah... small dog syndrome is very real. Now I like bigger dogs, they are much more loyal and loving.

There are exceptions of course, not saying all dogs are like this. But from my own personal experience.

[–]revel5150 0 points1 point ago

I'm a cat person.

[–]howaboutnoo 0 points1 point ago

You rang?

[–]kleptophobiac 0 points1 point ago

[–]chicagogam 0 points1 point ago

it looks like the dog was ok until the smother

[–]NathanCannon 0 points1 point ago

Screw you bitch, I'm going home!

[–]Shakermaker91 0 points1 point ago

My beagle has never exhibited any kind of aggressive behavior when being petted, hugged, or lovingly smothered. I love beagles.

[–]razvyazka 0 points1 point ago

i ugly-laughed at this.

[–]Arx0s 0 points1 point ago

That's why you shouldn't buy a giant rat as a pet.

[–]RomeRawr 0 points1 point ago

Interrobang: the best punctuation.

[–]StarDustedSnatch 0 points1 point ago

Not quite as loveable and cute as the gif of the cat kissing his owner back.

[–]Vcom561 0 points1 point ago

"hey! woah!. you know what, fuck it i'm out"

[–]luckers 0 points1 point ago

Wow. I have a Pom and when I hug her she loves it.

[–]iDirtyDianaX 0 points1 point ago

My Pomeranian can get like that sometimes xD except with me though.. He knows I'm boss.

[–]Mcfuggit 0 points1 point ago

little shit!

[–]VEN0MXVI 0 points1 point ago

Thank god that wasn't a cat.. Woulda scratched the shit outta that chick.

[–]nellbell27 0 points1 point ago

Is that a boy in a wig?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

What a horrible little rat.

[–]Brudus 0 points1 point ago

Why or why do people still get Pomeranians. They are always horrible vicious little shits with a inferiority complex. If you want a small dog I would recommend a shih tzu. Here is buddy my shih tzu. You don't have to have them with that ridiculous long hair just keep it cut like we do him.

[–]Werty2334 0 points1 point ago

dog uses dig attack!

[–]EOTWAWKI 0 points1 point ago

Hard to believe that stupid bitch is descended from wolves. Okay, now let's talk about the silly dog...

[–]Trenbologna 0 points1 point ago

Ihadadoglikethat had

[–]Adultery 0 points1 point ago

would it be wrong if i said i wanted to punt that dog?

[–]crunchy51 0 points1 point ago

little dogs, yuck.

[–]SuddenClarity 0 points1 point ago

My dating career in a nutshell...

[–]turkturkleton 0 points1 point ago

My dog has the exact same reaction, except she's a sweet, well-behaved lab. I make the same face this girl makes because of course I, who waited 20 years to finally get a dog of my own, would end up with the one lab in the world who doesn't like to snuggle.

[–]bloodmoon2819 0 points1 point ago

Lady: I love you Dog: No! Dog turns into a big snake and slithers out of her hands

[–]rpecaut 0 points1 point ago

Dog: "Bitch! Get off me! I didn't need this shit right now. I have shit to do." Girl: "well damn. Go poop in the refrigerator then!"

[–]Enrys 0 points1 point ago

If my owner was that ugly i'd do the same thing.

[–]dolladollagringotts 0 points1 point ago

Ok, every time I see a post about dogs, I swear I won't go into the comments, because it's all going to be Cesar Milan-esque stuff....

SERIOUSLY REDDIT, GO OUTSIDE THIS PLACE, AND SEE THAT A LOT OF BEHAVIORISTS AND DOG TRAINERS HAVE SHIFTED AWAY FROM THE DOMINANCE PARADIGM. IT IS QUESTIONABLE AND UNNEEDED.

Sorry for the all-caps, I don't like to "internet shout," but it is driving me up a damn wall.

Go look up Jean Donaldson. In fact, just check out the shelves and shelves of books on dog training. There is stuff on clicker training, ball drive, potty training, basic obedience, all the way up to dog sports and beyond. There is a whole world out there that is not based on pointless dominance exercises. Yes, that's right, I said it - pointless. Because "dominance" as a lot of people think of it (eating first, going through doors first, staring them down, alpha rolling) is outdated and can cause MORE harm.

Cesar Milan is TV stuff. Many, maaaaaaaany actual dog trainers, behaviorists, veterinary experts, and other canine experts find him to be an utter quack. Others pick and choose from his stuff, but find parts of his approach problematic. Basically, DO NOT JUST ACCEPT IT BECAUSE IT'S ON TV.

If you have a dog doing what the dog in this video is doing, do not run for a trainer that's going to poke your dog, put them on their side and hold them there, "psssht" them, "hand bite" them, or anything else. Get a good behaviorist with a working knowledge of dogs and who has a full toolbag, preferably with lots o' experience in counterconditioning and reducing reactivity.

Fun video showing the exact opposite approach that's ALWAYS lauded in the comments: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sI13v9JgJu0

[–]daveofstrength 0 points1 point ago

sauce with sound pls

[–]captianpuppy 0 points1 point ago

Better caption is "NO!..... Yknow what? Fuck this shit!"

[–]TheRabidity 0 points1 point ago

If that was me, that dog would've been short some teeth at the end of that altercation.

[–]xiregulatorix 2 points3 points ago

little dogs are such shits, i can't believe people actually like them. give me a big dog or a cat any day

[–]falcon_from_bombay 0 points1 point ago

Dog is like, "Bitch please...!"

[–]GhostChronos 0 points1 point ago

the way the dog get rid from her is epic, it's like he is burying himself

[–]mrboombastic123 0 points1 point ago

What a bitch! Thanks for putting this up though haven't laughed this much in ages...in fact im only commenting so I can watch this when i wake up ;)