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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Boris740 546 points547 points ago

Never mind the spider. Why is the emergency button Green?

[–]I_hate_that_too 874 points875 points ago

Green starts the emergency. Which is you getting bit by a spider.

[–]AAlexanderK 144 points145 points ago

Luckily the emergency button calls both the Poison control center AND 911.

[–]undercoveruser 111 points112 points ago

...and a few of these guys.

[–]dingoperson 190 points191 points ago

It's no problem to touch them, these only eat humans when they are in great swarms such as one might find under a bed.

[–]theromanianhare 148 points149 points ago

I hate you with every fibre of my being.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 87 points88 points ago

Don't worry, they only attack when you're sleeping.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]tiffster17 38 points39 points ago

The reviews and pictures are both terrifying and relieving at the same time:

Upon discovering that an extended brown recluse spider clan had elected to infest my rural abode, I ordered every spider trap I could find on the internet. Of the non-toxic box-shaped glue-trap variety, these are superior to the flimsy Catchmasters, because they have glue on all four interior surfaces (the Catchmaster only has glue on the "floor") and don't collapse as easily if you happen bump into one inadvertently.

I put about 60 of these out around the house. In two weeks I've trapped over 30 brown recluses, and have lost count of the other spiders, scorpions, wind-scorpions, gnats, flies, mosquitoes, centipedes, millipedes, and assorted unidentified insecta."

[–]amolad 27 points28 points ago

Where the fuck does THAT person live???

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

Australia?

[–]WhatTheFlux1 12 points13 points ago

Fuck. no. There can't be that many bugs in a single house....

Right?

[–]tiffster17 9 points10 points ago

Exactly what I was thinking, I'm assuming it's one of those "For every 1 you see, there are 10 that you don't see" type of scenarios...

I have Wolf Spiders in my basement and while I only see them once in a great while, I can't help but wonder how many of them are actually running around down there.

There was one in my slop sink the other day that had a body the size of a quarter and with the legs was probably 2" wide and long.

[–]daframe2r 25 points26 points ago

joke's on you! I just found my pogs!

[–]mrconspiric 18 points19 points ago

See I understand daddy long legs to be these: http://business.virgin.net/fly.fishing/daddylonglegs.jpg

Now I don't know what to think D:

[–]jmc_automatic 35 points36 points ago

Around here those are called mosquito hawks, or "Skeeter Eaters". Then again, this is Texas.

[–]apothecaryrose 5 points6 points ago

As a fellow Texan, I support this statement. But I also knew them as daddy long legs as well until reddit.

[–]Fatumsch 2 points3 points ago

I agree.

[–]crabber338 15 points16 points ago

There are several insects referred to as Daddy Long Legs. Here in North America I hear the term often refer to this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opiliones

[–]Jayross 168 points169 points ago

[–]what_will_you_say 72 points73 points ago

spider thread + animated gif = not touching.

[–]sentimentalpirate 53 points54 points ago

It's safe. Just the reaction gif of pressing the NOPE button on your computer.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 14 points15 points ago

Dammit, you totally got me.

[–]Sinopsis 2 points3 points ago

Yeah fuck that guy man, he got me too.

[–]brool215 8 points9 points ago

If I had gif editing ability I would make it so that Nope button had a spider sitting on it as he flipped it...

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

[–]CompoundClover 26 points27 points ago

[–]DforDavo 8 points9 points ago

They're arachnids, but not spiders. They also aren't venomous, so that mass of long legged not-spiders is harmless.

[–]lagann-_- 20 points21 points ago

Those are just daddy longlegs. They're completely harmless spiders; they can't bite you. I don't see what the big fuss about this is.

[–]InternetLumberjack 9 points10 points ago

I'm very afraid of spiders but that video didn't bother me either. Granted, the feeling of all of those crawling on me would probably be unspeakably unsettling. Edit: A word, I accidentally it

[–]crabber338 6 points7 points ago

They are Arachnids, but not technically Spiders. Spiders have venom.

[–]sandity 12 points13 points ago

And daddy longlegs have penises. Spiders do not.

[–]Sneaklemming 3 points4 points ago

They can bite you, and very rarely they can pierce skin. Not that you'd notice.

HOWEVER.

There has been cases of people in the UK (yes you arent safe even there) being bitten by a daddy longlegs, and only noticing that something happened after a bacterial infection has made a mess of wherever was bitten.

A bit like a brown recluse spider bite, only not as dangerous as antibiotics should clear it right up. If you live somewhere that doesn't have antibiotics then I'm sorry but you're going to die.

[–]penguinfury 16 points17 points ago

If you live somewhere that doesn't have antibiotics then I'm sorry but you're going to die.

Not necessarily from spider bites, but generally.

[–]Witeout88 5 points6 points ago

Why are they huddled in a ball like that?

[–]mycollywobbles 5 points6 points ago

OMG, why did he touch that giant heap of spiders? Gross!

[–]zachary87921 3 points4 points ago

Am I the only one that thinks the video is cute?

[–]furbit73 4 points5 points ago

Enter Spiderman

[–]autocorrector 66 points67 points ago

It's the emergency Go button.

[–]Gurix 31 points32 points ago

The only thing that button launches, is the spider.

[–]DatAss6 10 points11 points ago

I agree though, all it makes me wanna do is press it. GREEN for society is GO/SAFE/PRESS. Heck just press it

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 9 points10 points ago

The emergency party button!

[–]dontaskagain 40 points41 points ago

Green emergency buttons in the Uk release magnetic locks on doors. Red ones sound the fire alarms. At least they do in the building i'm in now.

[–]ariiiiigold 41 points42 points ago

Press them both and scream AL-QAEDA!!! Once the flood of people head for the exits and the building empties, you can swan over to the canteen and steal all of the chocolate cookies. The result? Free cookies. Free cookies, man.

[–]dontaskagain 19 points20 points ago

We have neither a canteen nor cookies, otherwise I'd certainly consider the idea.

[–]EvanMacIan 28 points29 points ago

Oh that's right, you guys call them "biscuits."

I'm on to your wily limey ways.

[–]unclerummy 8 points9 points ago

So what's behind the magnetically locked door? More spiders?

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

One does not simply "Nevermind the spider".

[–]positronus 22 points23 points ago

I was curious why are some emergency buttons green so I googled for it. Damn Google you are fast

[–]ReyRey5280 3 points4 points ago

Wtf...Whats up with the camel icon on your phone?

[–]positronus 5 points6 points ago

This is an app that gathers all camel toe photos from the web. What can I say, I like camel toes.

[–]MilesOkeefe 2 points3 points ago

It's Llama.

[–]GeneralWarts 46 points47 points ago

This is what happens when your Quality Assurance guy is colorblind.

[–]iwannatalktosampson 6 points7 points ago

Qua.. qua... quabity ashurance? That's not it, but I'm close.

[–]Chedda_Mane 4 points5 points ago

Rare office quote. Thank you

[–]DoctorOctagonapus 4 points5 points ago

probably door release. emergency door release buttons are green so you can easily tell them apart. i remember seeing the different colours somewhere, red is fire, green is emergency door, (i think white in other countries) and blue is pool alarm in swimming pools. can't remember the others.

[–]another_brick 1 point2 points ago

Welcome to The Research Centre for Accute Daltonism.

[–]CAPS_AND_BOLD 1 point2 points ago

IT'S FOR GOOD EMERGENCIES.

[–]another_brick 109 points110 points ago

Do you really think the spider is just going to sit there during an emergency? It's obviously going to be making rounds and taking down the injured.

[–]another_brick 12 points13 points ago

You made me spit-spray my coffee. Bravo.

[–]CompoundClover 11 points12 points ago

You made my day. Thank you.

[–]Alteya 12 points13 points ago

So the bugger can shoot venom now? We're dead.

[–]epicwinguy101 2 points3 points ago

That spider cannot. But Scytodidae can. The best part is they spit a mix of silk and venom, so their prey is trapped in a glob of immobilizing venom-soaked web. They then close in to finish their prey off with poisonous bites.

[–]FartingBob 6 points7 points ago

You've got things mixed up. The spider prays on human flesh, and the more nervous you are the tastier you are. This spider is working in tandem with other spiders who start fires, forcing you to press that button, which is when the main assault comes. Not from the spider next to the button. But the army of spiders descending from the ceiling. By the time you see them, its already too late.

[–]Throtex 43 points44 points ago

[–]grimpoteuthis 14 points15 points ago

That meme is the only time I felt empathy for a spider in my life. :[

[–]SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT 11 points12 points ago

::::[ ftfy

[–]thisspace4rent 787 points788 points ago

I always enjoy seeing a photo that I took a year ago at #1 on the front page.

[–]ryanjc30 73 points74 points ago

You're still getting some karma for it. That's residuals, son!

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 11 points12 points ago

THIS IS THE WEIRDEST THING. I COMMENTED RIGHT AFTER OP ON THAT PHOTO.

It's weird seeing yourself from a whole year ago.

[–]Potchi79 42 points43 points ago

Holy shit. That would be annoying.

[–]wiffleball_lgnd 175 points176 points ago

One of the great ironies in life is how Reddit will bitch and moan about the companies who lash out about people illegally downloading their content and them missing out on millions of dollars, yet Reddit will be the first to jump down someone's throat for reposting their shit to gain imaginary points.

[–]Tylerdurdon 46 points47 points ago

It's imaginary hypocrisy.

[–]wiffleball_lgnd 15 points16 points ago

His name is Robert Paulsen

[–]Magrippinho 105 points106 points ago

Don't worry, it won't still be there when you'll have to push the button.

Why, it's probably in your hair as we speak!

[–]seans9 37 points38 points ago

Ohhhh Daniel Faraday. You were underrated.

[–]laddergoat89 22 points23 points ago

Was he? From where I was standing he was universally loved.

[–]MrMaybe 14 points15 points ago

I fucking loved Faraday. One of my favorite characters.

[–]laddergoat89 18 points19 points ago

Same. Faraday, Desmond, Ben, Locke...

Mr Eko, Sawyer, Charlie...

..fuck sake that show was awesome.

[–]ParkerZA 14 points15 points ago

Thank you for understanding why that show was awesome: the characters.

[–]GuitarWizard90 2 points3 points ago

Was a great show. Still have not found another series to engage me like Lost did. Game of Thrones is doing a good job though.

[–]Agent_Johnson_FBI 8 points9 points ago

Desmond was my favorite, especially in season 4.

[–]ewilliam 2 points3 points ago

Then may I humbly suggest you check out Dickie Bennett?

[–]ProlapsedPineal 7 points8 points ago

So itchy. So very, very itchy right now.

[–]hogger84 9 points10 points ago

spiders - oh no that one will still be there, but they hunt in packs, it's mate is slowly crawling up your back, in fact you should just be able to feel the slight tickle of its legs on the back of your neck as it feels for a nice place to sink it's fangs into.

[–]castis 16 points17 points ago

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?

[–]Ozymandias12 6 points7 points ago

.....Clever Girl

[–]mynameistux 280 points281 points ago

I don't get it

-Australia

[–]yoyosaresoindie 617 points618 points ago

[–]LightGrenade 227 points228 points ago

Someone should make an Australian translation bot that flips all images. I mean I think everyone should be able to enjoy reddit no matter where they live.

[–]empw 14 points15 points ago

Will it say, there ya go Cunt! instead of yeehaw?

[–]mastersprinkles 69 points70 points ago

A Redditor for the people - on his cake day even. I can get behind LightGrenade 2012.

[–]Sonorama21 48 points49 points ago

You get behind, I'll get in front.

[–]MissCharmCity 35 points36 points ago

Now that's a party

[–]Call_me_John 25 points26 points ago

It's also a sandwich..

[–]ThomasTurbate 25 points26 points ago

would be downvoted to oblivion because of repetitiitiitittivity

[–]unclerummy 26 points27 points ago

Not immediately, though. First it would be upvoted like mad and garner responses saying things like "My new favorite novelty account!" and "You, sir, are doing God's work."

Only after a couple weeks would everybody get tired of it and start downvoting it out of sight.

[–]CaptainNoBoat 36 points37 points ago

It must be really dull to be an Australian redditor. You're awake when most redditors are asleep, and every time you mention where you live, someone uses the same joke.

I feel for you guys.

[–]scarlettblythe 44 points45 points ago

Luckily, we find all jokes that refer to us in any way endlessly entertaining, because it proves that you're thinking of us, which makes us feel significant on a global scale.

When you're chiefly famous for spiders and snakes, you get proud of weird stuff.

[–]Brandaman 13 points14 points ago

Who made the writing all Russian?

[–]epicGOPfail 8 points9 points ago

тот, кому надо.

ин Раша никто не спрашивает: "а кто ?"

[–]TreacleMiner 2 points3 points ago

I knew what this was before I even clicked on it. So proud of you guys :)

[–]SlayBelle 35 points36 points ago

Beg to differ, I did not get the Australian gene which apparently makes me impervious to spider fear.

I say nuke the fucking thing from orbit.

[–]scarlettblythe 7 points8 points ago

I was fair good with spiders, till a massive huntsman jumped on my face.

I will never get the taste of spider leg out of my mouth. Never.

[–]2dTom 2 points3 points ago

I used to think I had it until I worked in a Nursery. Now I realise that spiders don't really give a shit about me, but rather it's the ticks you have to watch out for.

[–]philly5man 8 points9 points ago

It's the only way to be sure.

[–]dracthrus 7 points8 points ago

My ex had a fun solution to spiders, if she found one in the basement she would run upstairs grab the cat. Put him as close to the spider as she could get to the spider then lock them in the basement for 30 minutes and go back to see if the cat had eaten the spider yet.

[–]jadeycakes 5 points6 points ago

I try this with my cat and it doesn't work. She kills crickets all of the time when it's on her time. As soon as I place her in front of a cricket she looks at me and walks away. It's like she's saying "bitch I am not your personal killer."

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]KWGibbs 71 points72 points ago

"It is rather dangerous/poisonous."

Or as you guys say in Australia: It's a spider.

[–]anal-razor 4 points5 points ago

this is one of the most poisonous spiders in the world! a single bite could render me immobile and kill me. im going to poke it.

[–]Tiktaky 19 points20 points ago

TIL in America, "black widows" are in fact black.

That looks just like a Victorian Garden Spider to me, pretty harmless fly catchers that almost every South Eastern Aussie has in their backyard.

We use "black widow" as an interchangeable name for "Red backs" so our widows have a red splotch on them.

Still, You could kick an emergency button with your boot. Mimimalising Spider contact.

[–]NickDerpov 25 points26 points ago

Redbacks and black widows are both members of the same genus, known for producing latrotoxin, one of the only spider venoms that can actually kill a person (albeit an extremely rare occurrence).

Female Australian redbacks have the red splotch on the top of their abdomens, whereas female American black widows have it on the underside of their abdomens. Although this marking isn't necessarily always present, meaning that a spider like the one in this photo may or may not be a widow, its appearance is exclusive to the genus.

tl;dr: Black widows and redbacks are pretty much the same thing.

[–]scarlettblythe 2 points3 points ago

That's cool to know, actually. But they're still nothing to be scared of. They're so little! You can smoosh them as soon as look at them.

[–]NickDerpov 2 points3 points ago

Oh, I don't mean to say they should be feared at all. When I say that their venom can kill a person, I only meant that it's physically possible, as opposed to the vast majority of other spider venom that can never under any circumstances cause death in humans.

For latrodectism to actually result in death, your immune system would have to be almost or completely non-existent. Babies, the elderly, and people with severe immune deficiencies are the only ones at risk.

I never even killed my black widows. When I lived back where they were native, I'd simply either leave them be (they really don't move a lot), or get them in a cup to move them outside. If I was in enough of a rush, I'd just skip the cup and use my hands. Widows, like almost all spiders, are not aggressive.

[–]Elemmakil 11 points12 points ago

I'd throw a rock.

If possible with a trebuchet.

[–]herzkolt 7 points8 points ago

Garden Spider

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Tiktaky 3 points4 points ago

Yup, Non-toxic, at most it gives you an itch and makes you feel flu-ish.

I hate these guys though, they show up everywhere, Brickwork, barbeques, fences, they even hide under the bus timetables at bus stops.

They bother me because at first glance they look like the more deadly funnel web spiders.

Your walking along, like "Oh, look, some cobwebs" and then BAM! The spiders all like "hey, what's goin on guys?"

Thankfully they only grow to about 2.5cm body size. (7cm leg span)

[–]offensivex 3 points4 points ago

WHAT IF THE SPIDER CLIMBS ON YOUR BOOT?

[–]Chunkys 2 points3 points ago

Ah, the age old 'drop the n-bomb to save my post' strategy, a classic!

[–]admiraljohn 32 points33 points ago

A couple of years ago my Dad and I were carrying a water trough out of his barn to use as a launching stand for our July 4th fireworks... we carried it out and before we set it down I looked down by my hand to see a Black Widow spider about 6 inches from my hand.

I dropped it at the same time my Dad dropped his side and said "Wow, there's a Brown Recluse spider right next to my hand."

I think it may still be sitting in the field where we left it.

[–]tommydubya 3 points4 points ago

Please tell me places outside of the US have July 4th fireworks... I don't want to move to Canada.

[–]hoss7071 14 points15 points ago

People rarely die from a black widow's bite. Life-threatening reactions are generally seen only in small children and the elderly.

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/black_widow_spider_bite/page2_em.htm

EDIT: I was addressing how fatalist the OP was being about being bitten by a Black Widow spider. Smarmy, out-of-context comments about other symptoms, are quite irrelevant.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

Note: The use of the black widow antivenin might sensitize the person against later use of rattlesnake antivenin. Obviously, the physician should discuss lifestyle habits that might affect the person's risk of incurring a snakebite in the future.

gets bitten by a black widow

"O GOD DOC I NEED SOME ANTI-VENOM NOW!!"

"woah, hold on a moment there cowboy. lets talk about this... so how likely are you to get a rattlesnake bite?"

"... WHAT?!"

[–]sporkafunk 2 points3 points ago

The rest of those symptoms sound like a dream!

[–]jamessnow 4 points5 points ago

You just pray for the death that isn't coming...

[–]welcometaerf 74 points75 points ago

Guys, you can't let spiders rule your life like this. We invented fire for a reason. Burn that motherfucker to a crisp.

[–]capnofasinknship 12 points13 points ago

Description for the squeamish: This is a picture of an Asian woman holding a deep fried tarantula by the legs and taking a bite of it. It doesn't look deep fried so don't look at it if you're expecting some kind of harmless, breaded McSpider sort of thing.

[–]rugtoad 12 points13 points ago

[–]MacksHeadroom 10 points11 points ago

Today is the first time someone has made me get off reddit. Have an upvote?

[–]DerpingItUp 9 points10 points ago

Fuck. You. i upvoted you anyway,

[–]This_is_Kags 21 points22 points ago

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

[–]dracthrus 2 points3 points ago

No, just No!

[–]TheInternetHivemind 50 points51 points ago

Then hit the emergency button to let people know of the inferno/your triumph.

It realy is quite a convenient system.

[–]welcometaerf 17 points18 points ago

I love it when a plan comes together.

[–]RommelTJ 8 points9 points ago

Cue A-Team song.

[–]burntham77 17 points18 points ago

Turn that button of emergency into a button of VICTORY!

[–]Shitty_Watercolour 53 points54 points ago

[–]NiltiacSif 9 points10 points ago

Well now he's kind of cute.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

I doubt the spider would bite you, considering it isn't even on the button, and it would take maybe 200 milliseconds to hit the button...

And even if you fucked up enough to get bitten (think, missing the button and thrusting your hand into the spider), unless you're a small child, you're not going to die.

[–]NDRedemption 17 points18 points ago

Don't worry, its just spider bro. http://i.imgur.com/D5Ieu.jpg

[–]ANDYBIERSACK 7 points8 points ago

Lik dis if u cry everytim

[–]pineapple_catapult 2 points3 points ago

evertim.

[–]GuitarWizard90 3 points4 points ago

I hate spiders a little less now.

[–]OmniscientMoose 8 points9 points ago

That right there is a perfectly good reason to push that button

[–]you_lucky_bastard 19 points20 points ago

Something something about Australia. Upvote me.

[–]biggles86 3 points4 points ago

press button with stick, and inform them there is a spider on the button

[–]Pwnsauce23 25 points26 points ago

Try drop kicking it.. Works for me every time

[–]Powderedhulk 48 points49 points ago

Where the hell do you live that you're drop kicking buttons and emergency spiders?

[–]TheInternetHivemind 23 points24 points ago

He's in Australia.

[–]Nasir742 13 points14 points ago

If you drop kick in Australia would the object fly up or down?

[–]TheInternetHivemind 36 points37 points ago

Yes.

[–]staciedc 15 points16 points ago

counter-clockwise

[–]racecarspacedinosaur 2 points3 points ago

The problem with dropkicking it is that to drop the item that is to be kicked, you must first hold it.

[–]RangerLt 3 points4 points ago

Spider: "Everybody calm the fuck down! I got this..."

[–]Rockerdude34 5 points6 points ago

NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE LOL AMIRTIE GAIZ?

[–]gLovejoy 2 points3 points ago

Hit the button with your shoe

[–]cococool 2 points3 points ago

Spiderman Junior watching out for us bro!

[–]Skelmos 2 points3 points ago

As an Australian I'm obliged to tell you to man the fuck up.

[–]bastard_ 2 points3 points ago

I'm sorry, but you are a pussy.

[–]burst_bagpipe 2 points3 points ago

This has to stop! Spiders aren't that bad. They actually keep a lot of nasty insects from entering your home. they eat flying insects that like to bite and sting you, they fight scorpions and big ass centipedes. Usually if there is an abundance of spiders it means there is an abundance of the insects they feed on in your area. Yes they will bite you if you piss them off but so would anything else. Most spiders that can do you any harm will send off warning displays telling you to fuck off. Spiders are our friend but some of them need a wide berth. Spiders never have or never will hunt a human unless the simpsons becomes real. Spiders will only bite you if you piss them off enough, your finger etc becomes tangled in their web and they think its food or you happen upon where they have realised is a brilliant place to catch flying insects ( like under a chair ) Spiders do a job, they look mean but they are predators so have to fight other spiders, their prey and get a mate at the same time so. Kinda like when they are stalking a big bug You can't see me I'm invisible but I'm going to eat you, he spots a different spider from yesterday stalking HIM, AGAIN! he turns to confront him when he see's that wee hottie from earlier just along the branch and he tries to wave at her. BANG! The bug he was stalking has started attacking him. The asshat stalking him has attacked him. He's still waving to the hottie along the branch. He bites both bugs, killing them instantly. He breaks into a dance showing off his prizes to the hottie along the branch before wrapping them up for later and then.

FUCK!

I have spider web on me and omfg a spider aswell. Some stupid human has blundered into his biggest achievement and wonders why the spider is pissed off.

[–]theurgetosurge 6 points7 points ago

Spider: COME AT ME BRO!

[–]SlayBelle 3 points4 points ago

Australian reporting in. Throw something heavy at it, then on it, then on it again. Make sure you then grab every can of insect spray you can find and insert on spider.

[–]VertigoFall 51 points52 points ago

WHY IS EVERYBODY SUCH A PUSSY ABOUT SPIDERS?

[–]oldaccount 140 points141 points ago

Because the one in the picture can kill you.

[–][deleted] 48 points49 points ago

If you're under the age of 10 or over 75 and have heart issues or aids, sure it can kill you. Otherwise, you might as well have eaten some bad fish and will need take a nap.

[–]jjsocrates 180 points181 points ago

Nice try, Australia Tourism Bureau.

[–]jbenz 14 points15 points ago

Nice try, New Zealand Tourism Bureau. Oh, we're just New Zealand, we don't have any scary spiders! Don't go to Australia! I read books.

[–]Not-a-real-redditor 15 points16 points ago

Hurts like a bitch though I've heard.

[–]Adam9172 5 points6 points ago

If you're a child or an old person, perhaps. Though you will spend the night in hospital just to be safe.

[–]BloodyNobody 26 points27 points ago

That there's a black widow.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

[–]WtfWhereAreMyClothes 30 points31 points ago

Some species of Steatoda actually will prey on widows, as well as other spiders which are considered hazardous to humans.

Good Guy Steatoda

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 4 points5 points ago

I thought black widows had a red diamond shape on them? Is this not just a clever imitator? Like those flies that are black and yellow so preditors think it's a wasp?

[–]victorapplesmash 10 points11 points ago

It's an hourglass shape. It's a diamond that's been cut in half on a horizontal axis then the two halves either have been rotated 180 degrees or switched without rotation.

And that's all I have to say about the war in Vietnam.

[–]Stellmaria 3 points4 points ago

I believe the red mark on black widows is under the abdomen, not on its back.

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 7 points8 points ago

So you have to pick them up and turn them over to see? Oh they've got it sussed, they know exactly what they're doing, devious bastards

[–]TheInternetHivemind 3 points4 points ago

Only deadly if it bites your junk.

[–]abiggaydeer 3 points4 points ago

Seems to me like there already is an emergency.

[–]PandaSlammed 1 point2 points ago

could always kick the button maybe.....

[–]trumancatpote 1 point2 points ago

They say you get hours-long erections from the poison...........

[–]dedokta 1 point2 points ago

Pffff. Come to Australia, that wouldn't even rate a mention! I could probably go outside and collect something way scarier!

[–]skyhighdriveby 1 point2 points ago

I'd like to think the spider IS the emergency

[–]JoshCSB 1 point2 points ago

Worst first aid kit ever

[–]Odins_KItten 1 point2 points ago

.... if there were truly an emergency, I'd get a shoe and throw it at the button ... to hades with that spider >.>

[–]ImmortalWarrior 1 point2 points ago

Jesus, i'd press the button. Spiderbro's just showing us what to do .

[–]Carpe_Dragon 1 point2 points ago

I don't fuck with any spider big enough for its own mana bar.

[–]iznotmeizu 1 point2 points ago

don't kill it, the spider is there to press the button when there is an emergency. It has your back

[–]Potchi79 1 point2 points ago

Found this happy guy (girl actually) right by my feet on my back porch.

[–]koenn 1 point2 points ago

Me, to my girlfriend: "Would you press that button?" "Yes, because there's a spider. It's obviously an emergency."

[–]chuckMastChiefnorris 1 point2 points ago

Why? Why no warning about a spider?

[–]cellularfunk 1 point2 points ago

I thought all spider posts were prefaced with "NOPE...!!!"

Silly me. Well, even though I'm arachnophobic, I'd click it anyway. Thanks Reddit.

[–]bmaffitt 1 point2 points ago

I'll just leave this here (and hey, I actually took this photo): http://i.imgur.com/5vRGi.jpg