this post was submitted on
835 points (52% like it)
7,721 up votes 6,886 down votes

funny

subscribe2,368,505 readers

17,863 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 255

[–]frigginwizard 405 points406 points ago

shaming women for being naked seems counterproductive to my goals of seeing women naked.

[–]POOP_ON_YOUR_FACE 40 points41 points ago

Very true, i follow George Costanza theory of getting women to take their clothes off. "I spend so much time trying to get them to take their clothes off, I never thought about just taking off my clothes."

[–]frigginwizard 10 points11 points ago

hows that working out for you?

[–]POOP_ON_YOUR_FACE 21 points22 points ago

It didn't work for George and it isn't working for me not because its the wrong strategy but because the penis is fundamentally obnoxious to both men and women. I mean really just look at your own penis its fucking obnoxious.

[–]TheInternetHivemind 31 points32 points ago

Protip: get it a tiny top hat.

[–]TokerCoughin 16 points17 points ago

Just the protip

[–]Buttered_Penis 2 points3 points ago

My penis is a gentleman.

[–]EsteemedGentleman 5 points6 points ago

It stands up so they can sit down.

[–]POOP_ON_YOUR_FACE 1 point2 points ago

No you think your penis is a gentleman but your penis is kind of a dick. There is a reason your penis is called a dick and we have saying like "Stop being such a dick", "wow, what a dick", "dick".

fundamentally obnoxious.

[–]Buttered_Penis 0 points1 point ago

What about the saying "What a cunt!" Some would argue that being a cunt is worse than being a dick. And an asshole isn't as bad as either, it's just kind of bad. How does that work?

[–]POOP_ON_YOUR_FACE 0 points1 point ago

Men still love cunt, it can smell like a dead fish and men will still fuck it and then brag about it. "Dude her cunt smelled like a dead fish and I still fucked it".

Dick on the other hand try show your girl the crusted yellow seamen under the for-skin or have her smell it before you stick it in, ya go a head and get blue balled.

[–]Buttered_Penis 0 points1 point ago

Women still love dick, too, in many cases.

And my shit isn't crusty, so that isn't much of an issue for me.

[–]POOP_ON_YOUR_FACE 0 points1 point ago

No, women put up with dicks, one can not just love dick, one must live in a world with dicks.

[–]dukishlygreat 1 point2 points ago

The naked man works two out of three times!

[–]ManiacDan 4 points5 points ago

Faith in reddit restored a little bit.

[–]detzdude 2 points3 points ago

The commenter seemed to be poking fun at the fact that she decided to announce her nakedness as a status update on Facebook. They did this by first commenting with the exact attention/response the woman wanted to hear then following it up with an insult.

[–]Simple_Jim 43 points44 points ago

He is totally correct to deride her. Only noobs tan naked. Pro tanners do it fully ensconced in a suit of armour. There is no other true way.

[–]JamesGray 500 points501 points ago

Calling women whores for not being terrified of nudity is pretty much right up there with that YOLO shit.

[–]when_i_was_17 208 points209 points ago

It's way worse in my personal opinion. There is nothing wrong with nudity. People shouldn't be so afraid of a nipple.

[–]JamesGray 64 points65 points ago

Yeah, you're definitely right. It's mostly just an exaggeration that the "YOLO" thing is so terrible, but it's fully ridiculous that people still try to shame women for stupid shit like this.

[–]snailwithmonocle 18 points19 points ago

I think it's more about the fact that the girl was bragging about being naked on facebook.

[–]ZiggyB 5 points6 points ago

That matters how?

[–]Nebulaoblivion 0 points1 point ago

I feel we should encourage people to be naked. I for one love looking at myself without my shirt on, and I feel that others would enjoy my muscles as well.

[–]snailwithmonocle 1 point2 points ago

I'm naked right now. I guess people tend to proyect their fears onto others. But they do appear to be much more prudy in the US than in Europe.

[–]LukaCola 3 points4 points ago

Hah, a man would get the cops called on him, called a pervert, disgusting, you know that kind of stuff. It's hardly a gender issue.

People just get up in arms about naked people where they shouldn't be. It's just a social stigma, they'll exist forever, no reason to get upset about them.

[–]fractals_ 8 points9 points ago

It depends entirely on the location, most nude beaches aren't sexist and there's nothing wrong with being naked on public property. You make it sound like she's at a popular beach or public pool or something.

[–]theresafire 7 points8 points ago

err... nothing wrong with being naked on Private property, not public

Edit: not that i personally feel there is much wrong with being naked in public...but laws be a bitch sometimes

[–]fractals_ 1 point2 points ago

Technically, being naked in public is a crime, but there are de facto public nude beaches. There was one by my last house (it happened to be one of my favorite surf spots), but as it got more popular it turned into a normal beach. People still get naked there once in a while, but they go to the far side of the beach where they don't bother anyone. People who like to go to nude beaches know and respect the fact that most people don't want to see them naked. They don't go to show off their bodies or anything, they go because the beach is awesome and clothes aren't always comfortable. Swimming naked feels AWESOME. Unfortunately I'm not comfortable enough to get naked at nude beaches, but maybe someday...

[–]theresafire 0 points1 point ago

True, there are definitely public places where you are allowed to be nude, but I simply meant on the whole, nudity while on public property=unlawful....

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point ago

Well considering there was never any mention of a nude beach...

[–]fractals_ 0 points1 point ago

Sorry, I forgot to add that women get arrested for nudity too. She would also get called a whore, slut, or something similar. I think it's safe to assume that the person in the screenshot was tanning where nudity is allowed.

[–]LukaCola 0 points1 point ago

So basically... Both sides get the same treatments.

[–]Gary_the_Goatfucker 0 points1 point ago

so true

[–]naked_guy_says 24 points25 points ago

I completely agree. People treat the human form with hatred instead of recognizing how beautiful it can be!

[–]JamesGray 22 points23 points ago

And I'm sure you don't have an agenda here...

[–]SquishyWizard 10 points11 points ago

Shh.

[–]girldinosaurs 11 points12 points ago

Quiet, whore!

[–]Pony_ 14 points15 points ago

Quiet, where!

[–]formerteenager 12 points13 points ago

Yeah ladies...take your tops off. Really, it's no big deal. I'm super casual about it.

[–]Legio_X 5 points6 points ago

I highly approve of attractive people being nude.

Most people on this planet are not attractive.

Thus, I fear nudity.

[–]Iarwain_ben_Adar 1 point2 points ago

"Don't fear the nipple." -BOC's new hit single!

[–]kryten4000 1 point2 points ago

My father was killed by a nipple.

[–]Deadmirth 0 points1 point ago

Sounds fun.

[–]when_i_was_17 0 points1 point ago

My uncle was killed by a car.

[–]DoctorPotatoe 4 points5 points ago

But what if the children get mental scars from it?! It's not like they have ever seen one ever in their very short life! I can't even think of a time where a child would be in a situation where they'd have to see a nipple! Especially not at a time where they eat!

[–]crackbabydaddy 0 points1 point ago

those poor kids exposed to nipples and butts, when we were young there was the excitement of the quest

[–]ApeWithACellphone 0 points1 point ago

You say that now, but if it was a fat or ugly woman I can guarantee she wouldn't get so warm a welcome.

[–]when_i_was_17 0 points1 point ago

I've seen many naked ugly women. I spend time on this hip new thing called the internet.

[–]schoocher 0 points1 point ago

I totally nipple...I mean agree!

[–]chouffee -1 points0 points ago

I agree... however, this country is so afraid of seeing a nipple, it's become so taboo, and young girls feel the need to call attention to themselves when they get naked. "Look at me, I need attention, I'm yelling about getting naked on facebook so guys will like me!" It's a generation thing. I hate teenagers. I'll just stop.

[–]ApeWithACellphone 3 points4 points ago

It's not a generational thing. Attention whores have always existed, now they just have a larger platform.

[–]chouffee 0 points1 point ago

Sad, but true.

[–]Herculix -1 points0 points ago

I'm pretty sure telling everyone you know you're just chillin naked on the beach when that's not something you would normally do is pretty slutty. "Hey, everyone, think about me being naked! Thanks."

[–]when_i_was_17 2 points3 points ago

But the point is it shouldn't be a big deal. In cultures where women don't cover their tops men don't gawk at them all day long. It's a social construct.

[–]Teekoo 11 points12 points ago

My guess is that he's her bitter ex.

[–]Sick-Shepard 42 points43 points ago

Nudity is fine, but it seems like the girl was advertising the fact that she was naked for attention.

[–]zergling50 18 points19 points ago

I think it's a little strange for her to be advertising like that too, but there's no reason to go as far as calling her a whore.

[–]evanthesquirrel 27 points28 points ago

so?

[–]JamesGray 20 points21 points ago

Which in no way makes her a whore. Your point?

[–]dan92 40 points41 points ago

It makes her an attention whore.

[–]JarasM 46 points47 points ago

Very unlike the guy who called her a whore, got twenty 'likes' for it from friends and got submitted (or submitted it himself) to reddit for the whole world to see.

[–]doonuter 1 point2 points ago

You know who else is an attention whore? Everyone you stare at with a vacant expression while you gleefully masturbate your afternoons away. If it weren't for attention whores, we wouldn't have porn, or stand up comedy, or music, or much of anything interesting, really. So show some goddamn gratitude.

[–]JamesGray -2 points-1 points ago

Which is what exactly? Someone who said something on social media because they wanted others to pay attention to them? You mean everyone who has ever posted something on social media? I still fail to see your point.

[–]amaddenmk4 -3 points-2 points ago

Attention whore indeed

[–]amadea56 7 points8 points ago

Atleast, gotta hand it to the OP for waiting 9 minutes.

[–]Chirurgeon_ 2 points3 points ago

I'm pretty sure it's just a joke. 21 likes on the status and 20 on the autocorrect comment seems like friends just giving each other shit.

[–]jesticle 0 points1 point ago

This is one of the only sane comments here. Jesus reddit, do you really think you're the only ones with a sense of humour? He was clearly entirely serious about her being a whore, not just making an autocorrect joke!

[–]GaijinFoot -1 points0 points ago

Whats yolo?

[–]JamesGray 0 points1 point ago

"You only live once".

[–]StewieBanana 73 points74 points ago

I don't think whore means what you think it means.

[–]naked_guy_says 56 points57 points ago

Sleeping with someone other than OP?

Nope, means exactly that

[–]JustCallMeBen 48 points49 points ago

BUT I'M SUCH A NICE GUY, WHY WON'T THESE SLUTS SLEEP WITH ME???

[–]lampkyter 2 points3 points ago

What if you are actually a nice guy and a prostitute won't sleep with you?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

I've seen this line so many times it's actually pretty sad.

[–]CharioteerOut 171 points172 points ago

Ha. Ha.

Women aren't allowed to be naked, and if they are it makes them a prostitute.

So funny. I nearly died.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 61 points62 points ago

[–]SHREDDED_WHEAT 10 points11 points ago

Well now I want to find the one where it explodes.

[–]Could_Be_Your_Father 16 points17 points ago

This one does explode.

[–]Possum_Pendulum 6 points7 points ago

I watched it for so long...

[–]sargeantb2 0 points1 point ago

...and?

[–]legendlazy 0 points1 point ago

He's right, it does.

[–]sargeantb2 0 points1 point ago

wow that was a resurrected post. I couldn't even remember what it was about at first

[–]legendlazy 0 points1 point ago

Wow, I totally didn't check the dates ._.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

it's ghastly how stupid people can be...

[–]akatherder 2 points3 points ago

It's not simply being naked that spurred his "whore" comment. It's the fact that she's boasting about it for attention. Regardless, calling someone a whore based on the context we see is ridiculous.

[–]neotsunami 5 points6 points ago

[–]b0w3n 1 point2 points ago

Finally I'm not the only one who thinks this.

[–]Scodo 63 points64 points ago

A woman comfortable with her own body? Can't have that, shame her and tell her to cover up her sinful act.

If this is real, that guy needs to grow the fuck up.

[–]Mista_Michael 15 points16 points ago

If being in the sun naked makes me a man skank then so be it. Sunshine feels good on the naked body. I love being naked.

[–]touchy610 5 points6 points ago

I know! Especially being outside. It might sound cliché, but it really does feel so freeing when you can run around outside naked, and just be okay with it.

[–]UltraMittens 39 points40 points ago

I get it because all woman are whores!

Ha ha....wait...

[–]infinitude 28 points29 points ago

What an asshole.

[–]Moses2112 10 points11 points ago

I've gone from disliking the few times I've heard friends use the term "YOLO" and the attitude they've conveyed with it to disliking all the circlejerk hatred of the term/attitude that people on here keep bringing up. Now, it's just getting annoying.

Please consider being mature if you wish to counter the "YOLO" fad; instead of complaining about something you think is stupid, be the bigger person and ignore it. There plenty of ways to find humor in the world around you without increasing the levels of hate, which there is already enough of.

Note: this isn't directed at OP, merely some of the people in this thread. OP is just posting something they may have seen on facebook.

[–]MarcusGunn 3 points4 points ago

I now enjoy using YOLO for petty, stupid things.

"Wanna play Smash Bros?"

"Hell yes. YOLO bitches!"

[–]Aestheticpash 9 points10 points ago

If YOLO has the potential to start a new sexual revolution and nakedness. Shouldn't we, as the Internet, be encouraging this wonderful way of life?

[–]stillcuriousjorge 3 points4 points ago

20 likes in 9 minutes? Smells like bull shit.

[–]steno_light 2 points3 points ago

I really don't like tan lined boobs.

[–]yolo_response_team 17 points18 points ago

[–]kippy93 7 points8 points ago

All of your comments are the same damn gif. Mix it up son

[–]CharioteerOut -2 points-1 points ago

You're doing god's work son. Go get em.

[–]THE_NO_LIFE_KING -1 points0 points ago

You're awesome!

[–]tobiasfunk3 11 points12 points ago

Clever man, and so original. I can't believe this woman would have the audacity to tan naked.

/sarcasm

[–]GolgiApparatus88 1 point2 points ago

I wonder if the 20 people that liked her "tanning naked" status were the same people who liked the guy's comment calling her a whore.

[–]Thor_2099 9 points10 points ago

Just looked up what Yolo meant, that's incredibly stupid.

[–]mainsworth 44 points45 points ago

It's not any more dumb than "the bacon narwhales at midnight" or "lulz" or any of the other retarded internet terminology that we spread.

[–]MildManneredFeminist 15 points16 points ago

Yeah, but popular teenage girls on Facebook do it. So, you know. It's bad and stuff.

[–]Thor_2099 0 points1 point ago

And I don't say either of those because they are dumb.

[–]gargamelol -5 points-4 points ago

the concept of lulz or doing something for the lulz is pretty fucking elevated next to YOLO and that bacon narhwal shit

[–]alekspg 2 points3 points ago

The sentiment "you only live once" is actually a profound philosophical statement about the immutable nature of fate, explored by the likes of Kierkegaard and notably in many great films.

[–]gargamelol 0 points1 point ago

Hah, great! I was hoping for this response. I totally agree with you.

That said, YOLO has been bastardized by its recent increase in popularity. It's a slogan and it's now greatly removed from any philosophical significance. In this context, it's just an excuse to take your top off at the beach.

Lulz are still a perfect example of schadenfreude. They are still something in which we see the uglier aspects of human behaviour. Yeah, trolling someone isn't exactly elevated stuff, but we still see a human dynamic when it happens. I think it's an interesting study every time someone takes pleasure in someone else's misfortune, regardless of how base the context is.

In lulz we can learn, in YOLO we debase what should be a lofty concept.

[–]mainsworth 7 points8 points ago

No it's not.

[–]Golden_Kumquat 3 points4 points ago

"You only live once" is fine, but I don't see why they had to make it an acronym.

[–]DJBJ 0 points1 point ago

Drake made it an acronym in a song that's popular with a large group of people (high school/college girls that are into his music).

[–]TotalSinnlos -4 points-3 points ago

Please enlighten me, I don't know what it means and too lazy to look it up on my phone.

[–]leedorham 20 points21 points ago

You Only Lick Oscar

[–]Se7en_Sinner 8 points9 points ago

Oscar is one lucky guy.

[–]TotalSinnlos -1 points0 points ago

Well that was in fact brightening.

[–]Machiavelli1337 3 points4 points ago

He was joking with you, it means: Yoko Ono Likes Orangutangs!

[–]IceK1ng 1 point2 points ago

Don't listen to him, he's mocking you.
It's actually Young Oliver Liked Olaf, a reference to the hunger games leak.

[–]TotalSinnlos 1 point2 points ago

Ohh now that makes much more sense!

[–]DJBJ 1 point2 points ago

You Only Log On.

[–]digitalodin 1 point2 points ago

You Only Live Once

[–]GoldLegends 7 points8 points ago

I think people who has doesn't know what YOLO means but has heard that is retarded is just jumping the bandwagon.

I mean seriously, if it wasn't overused it wouldn't be annoying or if it didn't come from a rapper.

Honestly I don't use it myself but I don't get annoyed or insult others when my friends or other people use it. Calling them a tool and what not is just as bad if not worse than the people who say it. Reddit claims to hate hipsters but you guys seem to be acting like one.

[–]thehomie 6 points7 points ago

Reading that was the mental equivalent of chewing on glass.

[–]touchy610 1 point2 points ago

I have like 350 friends on my Facebook. (They're mostly for random games and TSW, so hush.) I have never seen one of them say "YOLO" in any context. Nor have I ever seen any friends-of-friends say it. I only ever see it on Reddit. Liter-fucking-ally.

[–]Herculix 1 point2 points ago

I like how you added that it matters that it came from a rapper. I use a few phrases from rappers, like ashy to classy, etc. YOLO is retarded because of how people use it. I've never seen anyone use it in a way that doesn't mean, "Everyone, look at me! I'm trying to be adventurous! YOLO!" and then proceed to do some attention whoring shit. Like tell the hundreds of friends you have on FB that you're naked at the beach.

YOLO = I'm trying to be cool, is it working?

[–]GoldLegends 0 points1 point ago

Then it's the people that's retarded and not the phrase itself is what you're saying?

[–]Fr4t 3 points4 points ago

I think this is rude and not funny in any way.

[–]walnut_of_doom 1 point2 points ago

Congratulations OP, you are a douche.

[–]CHooTZ 0 points1 point ago

Who gets 20 likes in 9 minutes on a comment on a status?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

A douche with asshole/frustrated friends...

[–]TheOrangeIguana 2 points3 points ago

I actually applaud OP for creating 20 Facebook accounts just for this.

[–]YoureMyBoyBloo 0 points1 point ago

This is exactly why I program all my favorite swears and slurs into my auto correct.

[–]telfman123 0 points1 point ago

It was probably the same 20 people who liked the original comment that liked the fact she was a whore. People love to like shit...

[–]justalurker89 0 points1 point ago

This may ne slightly off topic, but I imagine getting a sunburn on one's private part would be pretty painful.

[–]kashwah 0 points1 point ago

:-o

[–]giannini1222 0 points1 point ago

TIL people don't tan naked

[–]Iloldalot 0 points1 point ago

sorry but, what does YOLO mean?

[–]woozey69 0 points1 point ago

You Only Live Once, brought to you by Drake.

[–]Kracus 0 points1 point ago

If YOLO starts getting women naked more often I could get behind that.

[–]TheOrangeIguana 0 points1 point ago

You're a cunt. That's all.

[–]GeoDude500 0 points1 point ago

It's fake look at the first and second comment from the same people

[–]phoncible 0 points1 point ago

See, he fucked up. Proper response is "Pics or didn't happen. YOLO!" $10 says she would've ponied up

[–]DaKuteCate 0 points1 point ago

w.e. tanning naked is no big deal and it doesn't make her a whore. why are people so afraid of the human body or being naked?

[–]Newkingdom -2 points-1 points ago

What yolo stand for. I have been on reddit everyday many times a day for a couple years and don't know.

[–]brandiee2 3 points4 points ago

You only live once.

[–]naked_guy_says 0 points1 point ago

So garner as much karma as you can. It's not explicitly in 'YOLO' but I'm pretty sure it's implied

[–]leafsnash61 -2 points-1 points ago

You Only Live Once.

[–]ckb614 -1 points0 points ago

predictablecomments.com

[–]buttzirra -1 points0 points ago

oh yeah man that yolo shit is so immature the narwhal bacons at midnight friendzone forever alone le lulz for science!!!! upvote my ragecomic meme derp!!!

fuck you

[–]Sexual_Lunchbox -1 points0 points ago

People need to chill I'm pretty sure it was meant as a light-hearted joke no need to get all self-righteous and angry.

[–]Calvin_v_Hobbes -1 points0 points ago

Someone's autocorrect changed a word TO yolo?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Did you not look at the picture?

[–]Calvin_v_Hobbes 2 points3 points ago

I would love to know how my brain scrambled that one.

[–]BeautifulCheetah -1 points0 points ago

Honestly good for her. Why? tan lines suck thats why. Hell im gonna tan naked now. Gotta get that penis tan

[–]Buttered_Penis -1 points0 points ago

Complaining about other women being naked just makes her look self conscious.

[–]JaxoDI -3 points-2 points ago

My friend's phone autocorrects YOLO with 'tool'. Awesome.

[–]wtfdidisignupfor -1 points0 points ago

Zoomed in on status photo; disappointed. :(

[–]WrethZ -1 points0 points ago

I wish tanning wasn't seen as so attractive, people get skin cancer. :c

[–]ScottishUnicorn -1 points0 points ago

Tanning naked doesn't seem all that safe, seems like an easy way to get skin cancer.

[–]Mint-BerryCRUNCH -1 points0 points ago

Good ol' fashion Reddit-repost...

[–]rodsaysgo -1 points0 points ago

youureawhore !!

[–]Catona -1 points0 points ago

I'm i the only one who doesn't see how autocorrect, something that is designed to correct misspelled words, would have changed an actual word to something that isn't actually a word, and only exceptionally recently became widely used?

YOLO is not in the autocorrect dictionary kids.