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top 200 commentsshow all 444

[–]flamingboard 794 points795 points ago

In Roller Coaster Tycoon I would make giant hedge mazes in front of the toilets. First they would have to stand in a huge queue just to get into the maze. Then they spend hours wandering the maze. When they got out they could finally use the toilet. It only cost $20. Muwahahahahaha

[–]bananabm 448 points449 points ago

Ye know not true horror until you experience... Mr Bone's Wild Ride

e: NSFW? Ads maybe? It's 4chan archive.

e2: here's a compiled image for those who cant click NSFW links. As a note, not the entire story... do read the whole thing when you can, it's well worth a read.

~http://chanarchive.org/content/2_v/133971427/1332812789113.jpg~

e3: Reuploaded to imgur for those who cant see http://imgur.com/PFHvM

[–]flamingboard 187 points188 points ago

Year 3: I want to get off Mr. Bones Wild Ride.

[–]aerop1ane 111 points112 points ago

It's just another entrance to the ride

[–]adhiofawkes 73 points74 points ago

DON'T FORGET

YOU'RE HERE FOREVER

[–]OmnomoBoreos 122 points123 points ago

DONI'T FORGET

YOU'RE HERE FOREVER

[–]Derice 8 points9 points ago

That one made me go o_O

[–]Ghili 32 points33 points ago

Why does that name make me laugh so fucking hard?

[–]The_Atlas_Broadcast 48 points49 points ago

Some day, Ghili, some day I will make a porn film called "Mr Bones' Wild Ride", with the subtitle "The Ride Never Ends"

[–]Ghili 16 points17 points ago

Make sure you message me if that ever happens. I'm sure i'll come back to reddit after a couple of years, see my inbox with a link from you. "Told ya I would do it"

[–]icario 9 points10 points ago

[–]GloboTron 17 points18 points ago

I do not possess the ability to follow and understand any thread on 4chan.

[–]Amorphium 24 points25 points ago

i came here from 4chan and i find this the other way around. i guess it just takes time to get used to different boards. i also still click on report before seeing that the reply button is one to the right.

[–]Fyer 2 points3 points ago

I come from both, knowing how different parts of the internet works pays off. Being able to understand stories from all of the sides.

[–]running_to_the_hills 3 points4 points ago

You can't be from 4chan, not once did you call him a faggot or a nigger, what are you really?

[–]Amorphium 5 points6 points ago

u mad faggotnigger?

[–]bananabm 1 point2 points ago

I would have suggested a Shepard Tone (Note i'm at work so can't listen, but preferably one of the ascending ones, they feel creepier)

[–]adhiofawkes 3 points4 points ago

Alternatively, Mr. Bones Mini Golf

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

It is still in the adult category and thus blocked, unfortunately

[–]mr-peabody 96 points97 points ago

[–]flamingboard 22 points23 points ago

Pay up Homer. Ass, grass, or cash. No one pees for free.

[–]dandeliondriftr 21 points22 points ago

You could do some pretty sick things in that game. Me and my friend would take pleasure in drowning people and launching them off rollercoasters.

[–]flamingboard 39 points40 points ago

Track length: 30 feet straight up.

Launch speed: 110mph

[–]All-American-Bot 30 points31 points ago

(For our friends outside the USA... 30 feet -> 9.1 m) - Yeehaw!

[–]threedaysatsea 40 points41 points ago

Yeehaw, indeed.

[–]FUDGESICLES 15 points16 points ago

You missed the mph->km/h conversion

[–]Talvoren 11 points12 points ago

By far the most appropriate time I've ever seen this bot's comment. Now to the restroom before I pee myself.

[–]madgy 22 points23 points ago

THE RIDE IS NOT OVER

[–]Gabe14228 1 point2 points ago

THE RIDE NEVER ENDS

[–]surfinfan21 638 points639 points ago

Not original, Disney World has been doing that for years.

[–]CaioNintendo 188 points189 points ago

There is no such thing as a paid toilet in Disney World.

[–]papalkombat 119 points120 points ago

I know... Poor bastards are expected to deal with everyone's shit for absolutley nothing.

[–]Jrodkin 47 points48 points ago

Or a working toilet.

[–]Tamural 21 points22 points ago

Or a toilet.

[–]Millhopper10 20 points21 points ago

Not for the common Disney patron. If you pay extra you can wipe your ass with gold-leafed toilet paper in the shape of Goofy.

[–]dirty_banana 8 points9 points ago

Life size?

[–]Millhopper10 16 points17 points ago

Woah now! How did you know about the billionaires' bathroom? You know too much!

[–]lenigod 17 points18 points ago

This actually wouldn't work. The AI wasn't smart enough to figure out you had to go on a ride to get to the toilet. They would just complain that they have to go to the washroom and your park rating would plumet. Not to mention those who go in the maze would then be stuck.

0/10

[–]coldbyrne 7 points8 points ago

Exit of one ride, fenced and force entrance to another

[–]NickPow43 5 points6 points ago

oh look it seems to be raining. Umbrellas will now cost you $20 Muwahahahahaha

[–]Rolten 5 points6 points ago

I'd just increase the speed on the ride with the single looping...

[–]nexusaspect 466 points467 points ago

I love these Sims stories.

[–]lord_gif 440 points441 points ago

[–]Askura 103 points104 points ago

It swims...but will it blend?

[–]Scandoppelganger 53 points54 points ago

Eventually.

[–]DrEmilioLazardo 6 points7 points ago

I had no idea this was possible in The Sims 3. Now that it's on sale, I'm thinking it's time to get my malevolent maniacal laugh back in shape.

[–]unfortunatejordan 165 points166 points ago

Have to chime in: Alice and Kev

I created two Sims, moved them in to a place made to look like an abandoned park, removed all of their remaining money, and then attempted to help them survive without taking any of the game’s unrealistically easy cash routes. It was inspired by the old ‘poverty challenge’ idea from players of The Sims 2, but it turned out to be a lot more interesting with The Sims 3′s new living neighborhood features.

I've never been more emotionally moved by two videogame characters, ever. Please give it a look.

[–]Chihira 39 points40 points ago

I have to say that was one of the most interesting video game short stories I've ever read, loved it thank you for posting.

[–]Tyyrlym 33 points34 points ago

Was I just... emotionally moved by the Sims?

[–]DangerChips 3 points4 points ago

I was too.. and I don't quite know how I feel about that.. hope perhaps?

[–]Spit_Flames 3 points4 points ago

"Kev passed away during the night" did some strange, emotional things to me. Awesome story.

[–]DangerChips 5 points6 points ago

I was way too invested in Alice's story and Kev was such a tragic character. The ending was awesome. Easily one of the best stories I've read in a while..

[–]Ol_gramps 14 points15 points ago

That was absolutely heart-wrenching :( I has a sad now.

[–]Look_at_that_Fetus 8 points9 points ago

This is why I enjoy reddit. Someone will always post something interesting regardless of the OP. Thanks for the read :)

[–]Keithy42 146 points147 points ago

You mean there are more?

[–]Askura 780 points781 points ago

I give you "Chin man" NSFW (Ignore the naming conventions this is all of it)

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Finale

Quite possibly the best of them.

(If any of you are having problems with reading them the album is here)

[–]sgt_shizzles 233 points234 points ago

That was glorious and also frightening.

[–]thenuge26 178 points179 points ago

I never had much fun playing the sims, but holy jesus fuck do I have fun reading about other people playing the goddamn game.

There was another one that someone did like a twisted experiment, the DCFS lady that came to take the baby got put in the hot tub with no ladder, there was a room you got to with a slide, but had no exit, but the baby somehow snuck out one time, it was hilarious.

Edit: Found it. Might be the best sims story I have ever read.

[–]deadwhitetrash 66 points67 points ago

there's no regulation against forcing a fat clown into a mirrored booth where he watches himself wet his pants to death.

Oh the beautiful sadism of it all.

[–]NiceGuyJoe 26 points27 points ago

In prison, a teardrop tattoo under your eye tells people that you've killed someone. Outside of prison, you say the same thing with clown makeup.

[–]ShetlandJames 31 points32 points ago

I really enjoyed Alice and Kev

[–]thenuge26 22 points23 points ago

That is awesome, my mind just exploded from this:

She takes all of the money she has just earned, places it into an envelope, writes the name of a charity on the front, and puts it into a mailbox.

You might think that Alice has the worst life in the world, but she doesn’t believe that’s true. She will turn down the chance to improve her life in order to give others the opportunity to improve theirs.

What does it mean when a character you’ve created makes you re-examine your own life through their astonishing selflessness?

[–]ShetlandJames 1 point2 points ago

I wasn't sure if that was engineered or real. Is the Sims 3 that in depth?

[–]thenuge26 9 points10 points ago

By "in depth" you mean it weighs the option "send some of your money to charity" more heavily when you have certain traits, I am sure. There are probably several things like this built into the game, and depending on your characters mood, characteristics, and such, it (probably) uses weighted randoms to select all these things.

So partially "in depth", partially just random.

[–]dj-funparty 6 points7 points ago

I remember reading that too when it first came out on cracked. So, so good. Made me want to get the game and mess with it like this. I may still have to.. One of the only online humour finds that's made me laugh uncontrollably

[–]megly 12 points13 points ago

I am literally crying on the bus

[–]brosiusra 1 point2 points ago

Omg Beef Supreme. This is my ultimate favorite.

[–]commandodude1265 1 point2 points ago

I forgot that one. Holy shit it was so good.

[–]thenuge26 4 points5 points ago

It tells you something about hollywood when torturing stupid game AI makes for a better plot than most movies.

[–]KingNick 1 point2 points ago

I read this huuuuuge Sims story about a homeless girl and her crazy, drunk father.

Basically, she would sneak into people's houses that felt bad for her to take showers and sleep on something that wasn't a park bench and her father would always go around town doing weird as fuck shit. Probably one of the best Sim stories I've ever read. Straight novel though

[–]thenuge26 1 point2 points ago

ShetlandJames has you covered.

I just read it too. While not as funny as Subject Beef and Turbo Sexophonic, it is an emotional journey through a young woman's pretend life.

[–]Askura 35 points36 points ago

It's not over yet; I just updated with links to the rest of it in order. Enjoy.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 22 points23 points ago

Now it's mostly frightening.

[–]Whoreadswhoreads 70 points71 points ago

Anyone else saw a connection to the Peanuts/Charlie Brown there? The redheaded girl, his new look sweater, the ugly black headed friend with glasses who might be a lesbian?

[–]THE_CENTURION 16 points17 points ago

WHOAAAAAAAAAAH

[–]Shorthoplaser 27 points28 points ago

Also, this.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

He makes playing the Sims for 5 hours sound difficult.... It's not!...

[–]SpudOfDoom 9 points10 points ago

There are no words to describe how much this has improved my opinion of the Sims.

[–]AnonymousPIXEL 8 points9 points ago

its a little annoying the two last pictures are unreadable.. oh well 10/10

[–]Askura 12 points13 points ago

Just fixed that for you :)

[–]uberduger 8 points9 points ago

That was insanely brilliant - I fucking lol'd. I saw the NSFW thing at work but decided to read on anyway because I was drawn in to The Chinman Saga.

[–]divinesleeper 8 points9 points ago

I love how the thread eventually got all psycho with him and started posting Kira faces and giving murder advice.

[–]Squatso 4 points5 points ago

That screenshot of him digging through the trash with the "I AM THE LIGHT I AM THE DARKNESS" text is just too fucking perfect.

[–]Vurz 6 points7 points ago

Part 4 and 5 are too low of a resolution to read.

[–]Askura 5 points6 points ago

Fixed! Sorry about that.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Oh god, I don't think I've seen 2-5 before. This is wonderful.

[–]Mercfh 2 points3 points ago

Oh god "Chin man" was fucking hilarious.

[–]miteypaul 6 points7 points ago

Took forever for me to download that ultra high res image.

[–]Corosus 18 points19 points ago

Since its an imgur link, you can remove the 'h' from the final to get a bigger version: http://i.imgur.com/VasiI.jpg edit: also bigger part 4: http://i.imgur.com/O2w15.jpg

[–]frickindeal 4 points5 points ago

Holy shit. You've just saved me a lot of squinting at the screen.

[–]123choji 1 point2 points ago

Amazing

[–]ghettajetta 1 point2 points ago

Being unable to read any of the text on my phone, that was one incredibly intriguing and worrysome picture books I have seen in some time

[–]TheyCallMeChill 1 point2 points ago

Wut

[–]NimX3 1 point2 points ago

That story was full of sorrow, anger, love, and vengeance. What a masterpiece!

[–]Bezzie 1 point2 points ago

Can't stop giggling

[–]smith7018 1 point2 points ago

And I'll set fiiirreeee to my paaiiinnn

[–]heygabbagabba 1 point2 points ago

Wish I had more than one upvote to give - thanks for the pics, that was great!

[–]Domerhead 1 point2 points ago

I feel like it was oddly appropriate to be listening to the 28 days later theme that was linked earlier...

The song got intense right as the house burned down...

[–]Billquisha 9 points10 points ago

SomethingAwful did a great one way back in 2004.

[–]123choji 5 points6 points ago

Torturing them. Playing God.

[–]JoelMontgomery 7 points8 points ago

This started as a sims story... It kind of... Evolved... Beyond that

http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/tyfo6/am_i_the_only_one_who_did_this_in_sims/c4quuhf?context=3

[–]emlgsh 113 points114 points ago

I posted this last month, but it seems relevant.

After the normal "bizarre landscapes, horrifying situations" style of play I decided to try playing through Sims 2 with a normal, happy, and healthy family of Sims. 1950's businessman-type and his stay-at-home wife, with their 2.5 children and an actual white picket fence.

However, I kept achieving various family goals, and getting rewards, and I built up a stock of the elixir of life water coolers. I only fed it to the parents, and eventually their children grew up and moved out, while they kept having more. I built new lots and new houses for their children. They marry the generic supplied Sims in the area, procreate, I play through their lives from time to time, but always return to the original family, keeping them young, moving their kids out.

Fast-forward a few months and I've got this sprawling Sims community full of the most bizarre horrors the combination of added content and the Sims own demonic AI can come up with. At the center of this vortex of horrors of ghosts, vampires, zombies, werewolves, aliens, and college life remains this brightly lit well-ordered lot, with a kindly young Norman Rockwell family living there. The kids change, but mom and dad are just as wholesome and youthful and happy as the day they met... twelve hundred years ago.

Norm and Norma are the Adam and Eve of a millennia-spanning eugenics program, the immortal god-emperors of this expansive and twisted domain. Behind the facade of their wholesome 1950s lifestyle is the fact that Norma is brood-mother to over two hundred young. Norm's eyes have seen the birth, adolescence, aging, and ultimate decrepitude and death of children, grandchildren, and great-grand-children. His drinking buddies are ten-generations-distant descendants of him. His newspaper is delivered by his great-to-the-twelfth-degree grandson.

Until I lost it all in a hard drive crash, all I had to do was occasionally introduce a new family to be consumed by the maw of madness I'd created, and tend to Norm and Norma as they spawned ever-successive generations of family, their unholy brood spreading outward to what I envisioned as total galactic conquest.

[–]l80 10 points11 points ago

That's actually almost exactly how I play. There's something deeply and profoundly rewarding about seeing the genetic horrors the AI produce. After the initial shock of seeing the children and their truly hideous development, the goal then becomes seeing just how bad you can get them.

[–]emlgsh 21 points22 points ago

One of Norm's distant descendants who I decided to focus on for awhile had a life goal of sleeping with every woman in town. His frequent infidelities drove his wife increasingly insane, to the point where she'd attack random Sims and try to burn down their house, with their child inside, semi-frequently, eventually leading to her death and return as a zombie.

Eventually the descendant slept with the wife of the newly added vampire family, and through some convoluted series of events the vampire's husband turned the descendant's insane zombie-wife (out of revenge?) into an insane zombie-vampire and dumped his wife, the original vampiress, to be with the zombie-vampire. It was like a season of True Blood.

[–]l80 7 points8 points ago

I'm so disappointed you lost all of that in a crash. I'd have so loved to see pictures and narrative.

[–]emlgsh 5 points6 points ago

Yeah, I lost a lot of game saves in that one - a power supply unit malfunctioned and transformed from a source of power to a mega-taser pointed at all components of my computer. All the magic smoke escaped, the hard drives got cooked but good. None of my computer repair skills availed me.

I've been tempted to attempt to re-create the Norm and Norma experiment in Sims 3 on the new computer, but I just haven't found the time and I'm not even sure if Sims 3 has the same mechanics that permit immortality producing rewards, which is what the whole thing was predicated on.

So, I've shared some of my horror - share some of yours.

[–]l80 8 points9 points ago

I haven't played in ages, but I too would create the mega babies thing. One of my favorites was the wife dungeon. It evolved organically, as horrifying as that sounds. The guy was an average business man who liked the ladies. He would seduce, propose and marry them. Then he would fall in love with another lady. So the situation escalated to the point that there was a lot of jealousy. To better manage his menagerie of women-folk, he created a wife dungeon. All the comforts of home, but the wives couldn't see or talk to one another. The cells were staggered so that the glass door and front walls faced a solid wall. He could see in and they could see him, but they couldn't see each other.

This didn't really curb the jealousy, but it contained it, and added a sense of realism where all the wives were very angry, either because they were jealous, or because they were, you know, imprisoned in a dungeon.

When one became pregnant and ready to have babies, she would be relocated to a baby suite that had cribs and a little bit more room. I used cheats to age the kids quickly, so there was a steady rotation of pregnant ladies / babies and children.

Yep.

[–]emlgsh 7 points8 points ago

Bluebeard meets Fritzl. One of Norm's great-granddaughters had something similar going, albeit without the babies aside from her own.

One of Norm's sons (who ended up living pretty damned long, the longevity of the first generation and difficulty managing their subsequent offspring is what lead to my "no immortals but Norm and Norma" rule) was an incredibly lonely artist and musician, who would trap visitors in transparent columns in his basement, and alternately serenade his captive audience and sketch their anguished descent and inevitable deaths.

His bedroom was a large chamber ringed with urns in front of paintings of their owners. Eventually he had enough ghosts wandering around that he never felt lonely again.

[–]l80 5 points6 points ago

Aww, that's sweet. In a terrible way. I'm so glad we can bond over the horrible things we've done to sims.

[–]emlgsh 1 point2 points ago

I think the best part is that I just fulfill their desires, I don't even torment them - they torment themselves. I'm just like a malicious all-powerful genie.

[–]l80 4 points5 points ago

The best kind of genie, really.

[–]CreepyCoyote 145 points146 points ago

Need more Sims stories. I haven't played it in ages, but I just might pick it up again if I find more ways to mess with my sims.

[–]smokefillstheroom 118 points119 points ago

Read the heartbreaking story of homeless Alice and Kev.

[–]MrInopportune 28 points29 points ago

My favorite Sims epic of all time.

[–]unfortunatejordan 17 points18 points ago

Should've checked if someone else had linked it first. Alice and Kev is absolutely incredible, you'll read the whole thing from start to end.

[–]Peacefulman 15 points16 points ago

I was surprised I did it took me nearly 40 minutes

[–]Super-Frog 10 points11 points ago

This was about a thousand times more hilarious and moving than I could have imagined.

[–]I_am_not_a_novelty 1 point2 points ago

Saving for later

[–]Detry 163 points164 points ago

This is a fairly entertaining read.

[–]Abyssalstudios 37 points38 points ago

That remains my favorite Cracked article.

[–]supermegaultrajeremy 16 points17 points ago

I am in absolute tears. Best thing on the internet.

[–]CeRipH 16 points17 points ago

"As long as I never turn my back to the smell of ham, he can never sneak up on me."

[–]iveo83 2 points3 points ago

that is the funniest thing I have read in over a month.. thank you! :D

[–]splooshy 1 point2 points ago

Oh lawd.

[–]1Avion1 121 points122 points ago

This is my favourite Sims story. Chinman for life.

Edit: It's a little NSFW.

Edit 2: And just my luck, someone posts this in this thread at the same time as me and I look like a sneaky comment snatcher.

[–]jack12354 18 points19 points ago

It was already posted in this thread, but IDGAF. It's still wonderful. Upvotes.

[–]Young_Clean_Bastard 19 points20 points ago

My favorite thing to do in the Sims was to fill four refrigerators with food, and trap the Sim in the center of them with all the doors facing out. Mr. Sim would slowly starve despite being surrounded by food. It was deliciously ironic.

[–]TurtleFlip 9 points10 points ago

Oh god, you just recreated the myth of Tantalus. Good thing murdering virtual characters isn't a sin, or you'd have a special place in hell. Fittingly, probably right next to Tantalus.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Not really a sims story, more like a sims series, but you may find The Life of Gengis Garrson interesting.

[–]InfiniteMonkeyCage 1 point2 points ago

My friend named a sim after a hated teacher and than built her a nice 4x4 room with no doors. She pissed all over it and then died.

[–]watsoned 1 point2 points ago

I used to make graveyards. Make a huge family, build a pool, have them all get in, then delete the ladder. They'd swim until they fell asleep in the pool and drowned.

And also, in one of the earlier Sims, when someone had a baby, I'd build a whole separate room in the house with only the bare essentials needed for a Sim to survive. Then I'd put the most useless Sim and the baby in there and delete the door. This way the Sim HAD to take care of the baby, and they didn't disturb anyone else in the house.

[–]SMTRodent 1 point2 points ago

Ohhhh that's genius. So doing that from now on. I can merge a new Sim in to be babysitter and split them off when I am done with them.

BTW in Sims 3 you can actually lock doors so nobody can go through, no need to delete.

[–]Katinedinburgh 48 points49 points ago

Brilliance.

I played a "Big Brother" style house once in Sims 2. Moved 6 people into a big house with lots of beds and all they needed, let them do everything based on free will. End of each Sim Week I'd look at who had the lowest relationship level with everyone, put them in a small room with no doors and let 'em die.

I think I got bored of this before I had a "winner" though.

[–]Jakabov 22 points23 points ago

I would watch that.

[–]acejiggy19 4 points5 points ago

That is hilarious... I would watch this.

[–]WeaslescouT 72 points73 points ago

  • Invite neighbors over
  • Build 1x1 3x3 glass wall around them
  • Put couch on one side of the glass box, TV on the other side
  • Turn it on cartoons
  • Watch your family of Sims point and laugh at another Sim while they starve to death while pissing themselves

[–]hidden_munky 9 points10 points ago

3 x3 you can't build walls like that around sims like that

[–]extinct_fizz 6 points7 points ago

You can, but you have to have the move objects on cheat.

[–]nickydog11 5 points6 points ago

does this work on the sims 3? I'm just going to try it now

[–]diiiP 70 points71 points ago

Alice and Kev

playing a homeless family in Sims 3

[–]ragnaroktog 17 points18 points ago

This was one of the most amazing things I've ever read. Thanks for that.

[–]yaygalilei 9 points10 points ago

Worth the read!

[–]type-type-type 27 points28 points ago

I used to make my lot into a pyramid. Then starve a child, clone them one hundred times, line the edge of the pyramid with starving children, place one grilled cheese sandwich at the top of the pyramid..

Then un-pause and watch the hunger games begin.

[–]demalo 1 point2 points ago

So, what would happen?

[–]type-type-type 1 point2 points ago

The other kids would die, then I would play the game as normal with the survivor.

[–]DrTrunks 52 points53 points ago

In my experience the car just drives away after an hour? Or is this something new in Sims 3?

[–]Trade_With 102 points103 points ago

Not if the Sim is making an active attempt at getting to the car. If you choose to ignore it, the car will drive away after an hour.

[–]DrTrunks 115 points116 points ago

So passing out and pissing oneself doesn't count in this instance?

[–]undercoveruser 100 points101 points ago

No. Just your average everyday morning routine... get up, piss yourself, pass out, get to work.

[–]LuiSP 4 points5 points ago

While getting to work, of course.

[–]throwaway_lgbt666 14 points15 points ago

great work for pissing off the neighbours

[–]UpBoat420 115 points116 points ago

How to make actual quality gaming content, by /v/

Also if you liked this you will laugh your ass of at mr. bones endless ride

[–]Willomo 36 points37 points ago

Chinman is pretty good too

[–]234U 7 points8 points ago

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

Link?

[–]coparker 57 points58 points ago

[–]Askura 11 points12 points ago

"I want to get off Mr. Bones Wild Ride!"

[–]MBAmyass 5 points6 points ago

First thread that has made me cry laughing. Oh god that's good.

[–]Hummeldon 1 point2 points ago

As I started reading this the song Hotel California began playing.

[–]nakedladies 4 points5 points ago

http://chanarchive.org/4chan/v/40679

^ not particularly SFW, since it's from the 4chan archive

[–]ikenjake 6 points7 points ago

http://chanarchive.org/4chan/v/46417/mr-bones-endless-thread I was in this thread yesterday. It was very frightning

[–]TheWhistler1967 4 points5 points ago

*Mr Bones Wild Ride

Your comment gives away the punchline, you should edit it.

[–]MartiPanda 2 points3 points ago

The ride never ends!

[–]Dyslexic_Cow 1 point2 points ago

Favorite thing I've ever seen on /v/ reminds me of a R.L. Stine book.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

Here's my favorite sims story. Who doesn't love good old fashioned torture?

[–]LLBee 10 points11 points ago

Sometimes I wonder why /v/ thinks Reddit hates them and wants to steal all of their content when in reality Reddit seems like /v/'s little brother and just kinda looks up to them. Kinda odd that a lot of Reddit loves /v/ and most of /v/ hates Reddit.

This is a /v/irgin here by the way, just don't understand all the hate over one section of this website (though f7u12 is admittedly horrendous)

[–]pastamanrofl 9 points10 points ago

I wish I could find this, there was a thread on a site I used to go to about this "Piano Man" guy on The Sims (don't know if it was 1, 2, or 3) who lived a completely normal life, except he had a dark secret. He would invite neighbors over and take the wives downstairs to his dungeon basement (custom door, only he could open it) and lock them inside cages. The cages had beds, toilets, and a custom food pellet thing that meant the women would never die or get sick. Family members would come over looking for their loved ones, never to find them. And like clockwork every night he would just go and play the piano for his prisoners, then return to his normal life.

[–]ankisethgallant 21 points22 points ago

Looks to definitely be inspired by Mr. Bones Wild Ride, which I highly suggest anyone who is a fan of this to look into

[–]brandonw00 8 points9 points ago

ITT: A thousand links to Chinman

[–]fr3ddie 17 points18 points ago

oh god. I have to play the sims now.

[–]20c8e4399c 26 points27 points ago

Sure is schadenfreude in here.

Here's another great one by /v/, it's long but it always makes me laugh:

Part one.

Part two.

Part three.

Enjoy!

[–]Rival_31 38 points39 points ago

Scootin fruity.

[–]load_more_comets 7 points8 points ago

I am German, and this is how we say it in Germany.

[–]neo7 7 points8 points ago

is that an add-on, if so how it's called? looks pretty useful.

[–]neo7 5 points6 points ago

I don't use Chrome.. and there doesn't seem to be one for the good, old Firefox :(

This could be a good reason (among many others obviously) to switch over to Chrome.

(and I never thought that Chrome would surpass Firefox even in terms of add-ons)

[–]kabbinet 1 point2 points ago

English don't have a word for it?

[–]Protect_My_Garage 4 points5 points ago

[–]Captainpanda55 7 points8 points ago

Aah, this is what the game was made for. Cruel, unusual but fucking hilarious punishment.

[–]silverbackjack 8 points9 points ago

I used to do this but I'd make a house maze with a toilet at one end, a bed in the middle and an oven (surrounded by random ornaments that looked like they could catch fire easily) at the other end. I would help the people out every once in a while and direct them to the toilet but they'd often get distracted by all the artwork on the walls along the way. Eventually they'd start pissing on the floor and crying because they were hungry. It was interesting to see how they reacted to their surroundings. A few even managed to hold a job for a while, those were the real winners! I don't think I would stay sane enough to had a job if I lived in a maze filled with human excrement.

[–]NotMuchOfOneButAMan 1 point2 points ago

You're a freaking genius monster. That was just brilliant!

[–]stereoa 1 point2 points ago

Haha, I did a similar thing, but I would but all kinds of things like expresso machines and drinks at one end and then the toilet on the other end. It was so funny to watch them sprint towards the bathroom and eventually piss themselves and cry.

[–]DerpingItUp 35 points36 points ago

Genius.

[–]Jim_my 21 points22 points ago

Brilliant.

[–]Yellow_Ninja 3 points4 points ago

Damn, and I thought trapping a Sim until he starves to death using the gravestones of his dead family was sadistic.

[–]abbiistabbii 3 points4 points ago

You can see why God is an arsehole by playing the sims.

[–]ThePsychosisProject 3 points4 points ago

/v/ > /b/

[–]Ivan_of_Zeta 2 points3 points ago

If Mr bones started making/selling houses

[–]HeyYouAndroid 3 points4 points ago

I wish there was more Sims stuff like this on Reddit. Funny stuff.

[–]dryspells 2 points3 points ago

I want more Sims stories like Chin Man. That was amazing in its own twisted way.

[–]Scottyxander 2 points3 points ago

I think I'm the only one who never tortured Sims.

[–]Mexullus 2 points3 points ago

Back in my day, we'd walk FIFFFTEEEEN MILES to get to school...

[–]tblackwood 2 points3 points ago

back in my day, we used to walk 7 hours just to get to the mailbox, sonny

[–]mrcheeseweasel 1 point2 points ago

So you have to leave for work an hour early just to get from the house tO the street?

[–]friednoodles 1 point2 points ago

I just read stories upon stores about Sims living their lives, and I end up depressing myself because I haven't really lived. WTF.

[–]GeekQwerkee 1 point2 points ago

I made a sims house in this style. Every floor was like this, with the bathroom on one end of the top floor, the bed on the other end in the basement etc... Then I made the sim neurotic >:). "did I leave the oven on??!" has to check. " did I wash my hands???" has to wash hands again to make sure. Mwahahaha