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all 180 comments

[–]cahpahkah 123 points124 points ago

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Soy-tenly! Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

[–]airline_peanuts_lol 91 points92 points ago

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[–]Phinigin 180 points181 points ago

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[–]Virindi_UO 25 points26 points ago

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I couldn't upvote this twice, so I went into your profile and started upvoting everything.

[–]domkeykonG 13 points14 points ago

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Unfortunately that will have no effect unless you go to each comment individually to upvote it as reddit will equal each upvote with a downvote and vice versa, as to stop mass upvoting/downvoting of a profile. Just thought you'd like to know!

[–]ShootTheHostage 2 points3 points ago

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Do you have a source for this? I've heard this before but don't know if it's just rumor. If it is true, then why even have arrows on profile pages? Or why not let people know this, otherwise many legitimate up/down votes would be wasted along with the mass votes. Just curious.

[–]domkeykonG 2 points3 points ago

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Sorry, I read a comment quite a while back explaining it. But in essence, I assume they don't let people know because you can be navigated to the original comment source and downvote/upvote there (in which the actual upvote/downvote is processed). So it would make sense to leave the upvotes and downvotes on a user page in the event to stop bots/downvote brigades.

As for legitimate downvotes/upvotes, I don't think it would be very legitimate in the majority of cases if it is from a users' profile.

[–]viscence 1 point2 points ago

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What if you undo your upvote? Will it undo the counter-downvote?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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What's this from?

[–]therealryanstev 6 points7 points ago

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Army of Darkness, with Bruce Campbell.

[–]jostler57 2 points3 points ago

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Wham! Sourced.

Edit This is one of my favorite comedies of all time. Could watch it over and over.

[–]Paultimate79 0 points1 point ago

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Wise guy eh?

[–]Dominic49 12 points13 points ago

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a wise guy eh?

[–]byoonbyoon 2 points3 points ago

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I hate to inconvenience you, but do you remember the exact name of this episode?

[–]airline_peanuts_lol 6 points7 points ago

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I google searched. "stooges eye poke defense" lol

[–]shrugalicious[S] -5 points-4 points ago

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And?

[–]CoffinRehersal 11 points12 points ago

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And he presumably found the image, not the episode title.

[–]darkneo86 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know if it'll help, but it may at least be good for a laugh.

[–]bonerjamz2001 -2 points-1 points ago

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Rapid global climate shift and its economic effects: picture of the 3 stooges

[–]airline_peanuts_lol 2 points3 points ago

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World hunger? solved

[–]BonTonVon 1 point2 points ago

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WUPWUPWUPWUPWUP

[–]ChoadFarmer 6 points7 points ago

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I'll moidah you!

[–]PhiladelphiaIrish 84 points85 points ago

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That man is likely now blind.

[–]KimJongUno 5 points6 points ago

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Nahh.... eyes are heartier than most think....

still...not cool.

[–]nicetry3932 44 points45 points ago

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Eye gouging is not a joke. I would shoot any motherfucker who tried that shit on me while on duty.

[–]darkneo86 16 points17 points ago

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Eyes and testicles, man. Both are my achilles heel. I don't ever go 'on duty', but if you try to touch either of them...well, dammit, it'll hurt. More than that, though, I may attempt bodily harm on said perpetrator as well.

[–]juma606 15 points16 points ago

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Eyes are the testicles of the head.

[–]Malgas 11 points12 points ago

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Headsticles?

[–]vteckickedin 7 points8 points ago

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If you're a dickhead, sure. But for ballchinians, that's a whole other ball game.

[–]Tralan 1 point2 points ago

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I'd wait till you didn't have a gun.

[–]gundog48 1 point2 points ago

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I agree, if that was me nothing would hold me back. That fucker wants to blind me for life, I'd beat him to within an inch of his and he'd 100% deserve it.

[–]sidewalkchalked 0 points1 point ago

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Man if that hypothetical guy reads this he'll totally think twice.

[–]gundog48 0 points1 point ago

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If he doesn't, I'll hypothetically learn him...

[–]sidewalkchalked 2 points3 points ago

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You're the baddest dude on the internet.

[–]barbados-slim 0 points1 point ago

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it is if there's a 'doink' sound effect when you do it.

[–]itssheramie 0 points1 point ago

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How do you have upvotes? I'm sure you could diffuse the situation without using lethal force.

[–]gundog48 2 points3 points ago

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Excuse me sir, would you kindly stop trying to permanently disable me and ruin my life? I would try to stop you with force, but the people of Reddit may get butthurt about me 'supressing freedom'.

[–]itssheramie 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, because there is no middle ground between letting your eyes get poked out and shooting someone. Like say, tackling them. That doesn't exist.

[–]mothereffingteresa -1 points0 points ago

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Cops who beat protesters should be hunted and eliminated. Keep your hands off, and your eyes are safe.

[–]lth5015 4 points5 points ago

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Begs the question: What came first? The cop spraying people with mace or the cop being poked in the eye?

[–]gman1401 217 points218 points ago

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I came here looking for an outcry to the fact that a human being just potentially blinded another human being. Something that would definitely constitute police brutality had the roles been reversed.

However, as this is Reddit, I was unsurprised by the fact that the comments were actually just filled with jokes about this man's misfortune.

You motherfucking hypocrites.

[–]RowboatMcHiggans 60 points61 points ago

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Welcome to Reddit. Here's your complementry cat and upvote!

[–]Hamster_Huey 17 points18 points ago

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Complementary*

[–]vteckickedin 26 points27 points ago

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See, now this is the real reddit.

[–]neuromonkey 1 point2 points ago

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The one true reddit?

[–]IAmASeriousMan 3 points4 points ago

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Where is the cat? I need those to live!

[–]amarine88 6 points7 points ago

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Man, I miss the old reddit sometimes. :-/

[–]RainDownMyBlues 8 points9 points ago

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/r/TrueReddit

There you are, son.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Datastream -4 points-3 points ago

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Because there are a lot of conspiracy's that end up being true? Truereddit doesn't conform to anything and simply links to stuff that are true and interesting. If it happened to be about something that not many know then suddenly it is more like /r/conspiracy?

[–]Peritract 1 point2 points ago

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Which ones? Which conspiracies turned out to be true? Was it the lizard people? The Illuminati? Da Vinci being an alien?

[–]Datastream 7 points8 points ago

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Those are the fucking retarded "theories" made by people with tin foil hats. The governments want you to associate all the conspiracy theorists with them so you won't take any seriously. Clever, right? Except there are a lot more that are true than you would think.

Neat list

[–]Datastream 0 points1 point ago

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Did you read everything on the list yet?

[–]Tralan 1 point2 points ago

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Hey chowdah head. Ya see that? bonk

You, porcupine. Get ovah there and help him bonk

[–]the-fritz 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, I wish Digg would have never changed their user interface. It all went to hell on reddit after that.

[–]littlenicky174 9 points10 points ago

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I'm in the same situation as you, I have no idea how this disturbing image constitutes over a thousand upvotes, if this were any other person the community would be up in arms, it is insanity, yes there are some bad cops in this world but there are others who would gladly take a bullet for any citizen, we as a community have no right to judge an entire population of people on the actions of their minority of corrupted persons.

[–]the-fritz 2 points3 points ago

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Why is it even in r/funny?

[–]GundamWang 2 points3 points ago

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You build up all that hatred against a certain peoples, don't be surprised when there's no sympathy when something bad happens to those peoples. The same thing happens to the cops. They constantly come in contact with actual criminals, that any non-police officer becomes criminal first, innocent civilian second (or never).

We, reddit and others, need to realize the reason so many cops seem corrupt is because it's part of a journalist's job to report on corrupt police. Just like police need to realize that it's part of their job to always come in contact with criminals, that's why everyone except their colleagues seem like criminals. It's far easier to fall into this trap than many people realize.

Another thing is, the picture doesn't look very violent, even though it is assault. It also closely resembles something that's done in older slapstick comedy. All of the above is the reason why it's received so many upvotes. It isn't a simple matter of, "Reddit is filled with hypocrites."

[–]two_in_the_bush 2 points3 points ago

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In all fairness, if it were any other person it would still receive thousands of upboats.

[–]ahmed_alamir -1 points0 points ago

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I see your point. And I am not defending the moral "decline" that plagued reddit recently.

But, I find this funny, and I live in a country where the majority of the police are so corrupted that people literally avoid being near a police station and where riot police is used against anyone protesting to anything no matter how peacefully. Just saying maybe there are others who share some similar feelings.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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Which country?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I'd love to hear this as well.

[–]ahmed_alamir 0 points1 point ago

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Egypt.

[–]KlaatuBaradaNikto -2 points-1 points ago

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It might seem hypocritical of reddit to make jokes but people also need to remember that its not reddit's responsibility to get outraged at every little injustice like this. Some of us just come here to laugh. There is too much bad in the world to micromanage our outrage.

There's nothing we can do about the event in the picture. Yes, I know its not ok to poke people's eyes, but no, I'm not going to going to get my panties in a bunch over it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Yes you would, if this picture was a police officer doing it to a civilian you wouldn't be saying what you just said.

[–]freder93 0 points1 point ago

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But when protesters get blasted in the face with chemicals "it's their fault for being there", isn't that right?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think I've ever seen anyone argue that on top of which your comment is completely irrelevant to the discussion.

[–]freder93 1 point2 points ago

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I understand, it was more of a heat of the moment response, sorry :/

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Not even a problem. I do that all the time. Though it says a lot about your character to admit it, and I respect that quite a bit.

[–]gundog48 1 point2 points ago

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Little injustice? That man has potentially had is life ruined by being blinded in both eyes for no reason other than doing his (good) job. Nothing funny about it at all.

[–]Ryanair -2 points-1 points ago

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Just the same as /r/JusticePorn. Suddenly it's okay to beat people up. Even with baseball bats. I hate this trend.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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/r/JusticePorn is a bit different. It's people getting caught for a crime they did or someone avenging another person.

This, on the other hand, is just gouging out a police officer's eyes.

[–]Ryanair 0 points1 point ago

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Cheap pun: Both is an eye for an eye and should both be convicted.

[–]BullNiro -4 points-3 points ago

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Police are in a position of authority and are an instrument of the state to carry out the oppression. It is unethical to do a lot of things the police do. The police make a choice to be part of an organisation which gives individuals the privilege of doing these things without true scrutiny.

Once you have contemplated beening brutalised by the police and having no way to meaningfully retaliate then I think that you can cast judgement.

tl; dr Fornicate the constabulary

[–]MonkeeSage 4 points5 points ago

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It's okay to blind someone as long as you don't like them? (Don't get me wrong, I also believe the police should stop brutalizing the beening.)

[–]BullNiro -2 points-1 points ago

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No, just that if I were a cops don't deserve sympathy and that we have no context (or at least I have no context for this pic).

[–]Taibo 1 point2 points ago

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True, but none of that justifies poking a cop's eyes out.

[–]Lots42 1 point2 points ago

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You're an idiot.

[–]BullNiro -2 points-1 points ago

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You're articulate yet concise, in that sentence I felt a wave of contempt and sheer vitriol. Like the pungent odour of rotting eggs wafting into the comments section yet leaving with the presence of a pocket of low pressure near by. A lightning strike of a glib comment deserving no less than my fullest attention.

If you ever breed make sure you give the children away or don't and do to them what those who taught you did which was let all kinds of logic and reasoning pass you by so you could only think easy thoughts. Either way let your wit and intellect keep shining like a beacon of cretinous thinking patterns for all to see.

If you think my reply has been a tad verbose then I would like to leave you with a simple "fuck you" for you to mull over for a few hours as you obviously did with your original (failed) attempt at reading my first post in this thread.

[–]Lots42 3 points4 points ago

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Take your 'fuck the cops' attitude and cram it up your rectum next to your brain.

[–]BullNiro -1 points0 points ago

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Quicker with that one. Nice.

ADDITION: Do you have a special affection for the police?

[–]Lots42 3 points4 points ago

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Yes. I appreciate the law and order protection most do.

I eagerly await what fucked-up anti-logic idiocy you have as a reply to my appreciating most cops.

[–]BullNiro 1 point2 points ago

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Actually I made a statement up the top and all you did was use an ad hominem.

The police have never caught a criminal for me, they have never helped me find something I have lost, they have never stopped someone from assaulting me.

Cops have assaulted me when I have been doing nothing illegal. On numerous they have been rude and talked down to me and my loved ones on numerous occasions when I have been nothing but cordial to them.

The only time a police officer has been polite to me has been when they have been breath testing me.

They have never protected me, they have never been of any use to me whatsoever.

[–]Lots42 -1 points0 points ago

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I was right! You did use fucked-up anti-logic!

I win! Whoooo! Touchdown!

[–]BullNiro 0 points1 point ago

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The feeling of having so defeated you is quite good, it is like having got over a bad case of diarrhoea.

[–]Prof_Doom 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think the chance that he is actually blinded is that high. It depends on several factors, sure. Still he seems like he has his eyes closed. Also the eyeballs are opposed to what they look like take quite a bit of force before being damaged for good. That's not saying that I defend the jackass who actually pokes the riot guy in the eyes. I'd actually like to see what happens to him after those few seconds of the picture. The picture really isn't funny, though.

[–]gundog48 0 points1 point ago

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As you say, it depends. If it's a poke, then he'll be fine. Bit if it was a gauge then neither his eyelid nor integrity of his eyeball will protect him. I've seen it before in a Rugby match, it's a horrific thing and ruined the guys life. The bloke that did it got time in prison and a permanent ban from every rugby club in the country.

[–]powernut 0 points1 point ago

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The subtle difference is that one of those two persons has immunity from prosecution. Another subtle difference is that one of those people showed up that day with the simple intent of collecting a paycheck for using violence to stop an expression of opinion.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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He's not a man he's a cop. Duh.

[–]coonday 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you

[–]fabtastik -2 points-1 points ago

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With all the videos of police beating on innocent, peaceful protesters it's nice to see the roles reversed and people standing up for themselves.

Granted, we have no context so don't know if this riot was called for or not.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]amarine88 12 points13 points ago

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Because you probably don't check your comments, I wanted to let you know that this one has been downvoted so you may learn from your mistakes in the future.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Transflail 4 points5 points ago

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Just because it's posted in r/funny does not mean it is funny.

Just because you find something funny it does not mean the majority find it funny.

[–]matari -5 points-4 points ago

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If you came here looking for outcry, you're gonna have a bad time.

[–]farcles 40 points41 points ago

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captain insano shows no mercy

[–]saosky182 4 points5 points ago

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I came here to make the same comment but it appears as though you beat me to it...

[–]jimbo91987 -1 points0 points ago

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Holy shit... the mystery has been solved. Adam Sandler was in fact funny at one point.

[–]Ghee_Buttersnaps_ 20 points21 points ago

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Why in all of ever living fuck is this in /r/funny? This is not funny. This is horrible.

[–]mothereffingteresa -5 points-4 points ago

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So are all the cop beatings of protesters.

Sometimes payback is funny.

[–]Ghee_Buttersnaps_ 2 points3 points ago

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No, it isn't funny. How do you know that particular cop beat any protesters? He could be the most wonderful person in the world for all you know. A few cops trying to control crazed protesters doesn't not equal all cops deserve to be attacked.

[–]mothereffingteresa -2 points-1 points ago

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The most wonderful person in the world doesn't suit up in riot gear. Tell me: What do you see cops doing at protests?

[–]Ghee_Buttersnaps_ 1 point2 points ago

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The cops are there to keep the "peaceful" protests actually peaceful. If they are beating protesters there is likely a reason. And if they beat an innocent protester it was likely an accident. I'm not saying that there is no such thing as a corrupt cop. I'm just saying that you only hear about the corrupt cops and the rest of them are just doing their jobs.

[–]mothereffingteresa -4 points-3 points ago

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If they are beating protesters there is likely a reason.

Ha. HAHA. Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ohhh my sides hurt.

Now pull the other one.

[–]Wingly 11 points12 points ago

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Moments later, that guy got the shit beat out of him.

[–]siglug 40 points41 points ago

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I sure hope so

[–]superblank 0 points1 point ago

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It's hardly surprising. Maybe he should have just stayed home and kicked a bees nest, instead.

[–]gospelwut 5 points6 points ago

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How is this much different than grinding coffee beans and using hot water, a (gold) mesh filter, and a carfare? Which, also, makes more than 1 cup at a time.

[–]testdex 8 points9 points ago

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Yeah, that's what I came to ask.

[–]maxxx_orbison 2 points3 points ago

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So... how about that answer, OP?

[–]Detry 1 point2 points ago

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This isn't the Vietnamese coffee thread, this is the poke-a-cop-in-the-eye thread.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, the ol' Reddit switcheroo.

[–]perdidoentx 0 points1 point ago

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Carfare? Do you have to hire a car to have coffee?

[–]smithincanton 12 points13 points ago

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[–]NathaNRiveraMelo 10 points11 points ago

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I bet this guy got the shit beat out of him for pulling that stunt. I can't help but imagine his impending beating.

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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I would do the same. The guy just tried to blind a police officer.

[–]reidhasguitar 20 points21 points ago

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police officer. human being.

Fixed that one for you.

[–]mothereffingteresa -2 points-1 points ago

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human being

[citation needed]

Cops have made themselves subhuman.

[–]maxxx_orbison -5 points-4 points ago

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Can we agree that the best way to blind someone would be via the blade runner double thumbed method and that this is nothing more than one person casually giving a hilarious "fuck you" to another person of higher and hubris-drenched authority at the equivalency of kicking him square in the nuts? It's like everyone looked at a picture of conflict and decided "hey, that looks like a good time. I wonder what I can stir up in the comments on this one." EDIT: a word

[–]GrooveCombo 2 points3 points ago

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The three stooges occupy wall street?

[–]DarkShadow04 14 points15 points ago

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Oh a wise guy hey?

[–]hipstersarepeopletoo 1 point2 points ago

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Oh look it's Jose Mourinho.

[–]EdWrathChild 1 point2 points ago

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Did you know that the "eye gouge" is an actual attack we learn in MCMAP (Marine Corps Martial Arts Program)?

[–]dissapointedorikface 1 point2 points ago

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These arseholes are the ones that get everyone else tear gased, maced, or beaten. Fucking amateurs.

[–]MYDOGSTELLA 8 points9 points ago

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BOOP!

[–]reidhasguitar 3 points4 points ago

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You're right OP, this does belong in r/funny... No wait. No, no it doesn't. You're a fucking idiot.

[–]1234blahblahblah 2 points3 points ago

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This isn't funny. This guy is a trained agitator.

[–]RedSolution -3 points-2 points ago

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Which one?

[–]kiancaster 1 point2 points ago

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[–]quicklookleft 0 points1 point ago

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win

[–]urskittles 0 points1 point ago

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Captain Insano shows no mercy!!

[–]McFood 1 point2 points ago

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This is why you get pepper sprayed.

[–]mothereffingteresa 0 points1 point ago

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This is the result of pepper spraying people.

[–]tinyroom 0 points1 point ago

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[–]billyjojimbob 0 points1 point ago

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No defense from the Mo has been developed.

[–]DeadStillWalk 0 points1 point ago

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I see your Three Stooges eye poke.

[–]Tastygroove 0 points1 point ago

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I can't see! I can't see! What's the matter? I've got my eyes closed..

[–]raizyr 0 points1 point ago

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[–]pizzatacos 0 points1 point ago

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Why I oughta...

[–]misterschmoo 0 points1 point ago

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So latches on the visors after this then

[–]haargoth73 -1 points0 points ago

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Goggles.

[–]flamingboard -2 points-1 points ago

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woo woo woo woo woo! Moe, Larry, cheese!

[–]wtfczar -3 points-2 points ago

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Skullfuck Wall Street

[–]astrograph -2 points-1 points ago

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boop

[–]MrNegativable -1 points0 points ago

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WOOP WOOP WOOP WOOOP WOOP

[–]Argoth1295 -1 points0 points ago

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He just three stooged his ass

[–]ecomatt -1 points0 points ago

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The guy is still in front of you.. Just shoot that guy. Or yes multiple people

[–]MTGandP -1 points0 points ago

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He could just lower his visor.

[–]Loopyprawn -4 points-3 points ago

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I'm pretty sure a riot shield to the face would stop that shit pretty quick.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]stoned-derelict 7 points8 points ago

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But he never will again.

[–]penis-butter -4 points-3 points ago

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Captain insano shows no mercy.

[–]IAMAFork -4 points-3 points ago

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He likes boopin' them eyes

[–]angrystuff -3 points-2 points ago

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Sure there is. Visor with bevor that lock together with a squeeze release would easily stop such an ad hoc attack.

[–]scottmc13 -3 points-2 points ago

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Captain Insano Shows No Mercy!!!!!

[–]KrazyEyezKilla -3 points-2 points ago

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My eyes! The visor! It does nothing!

[–]SitnaltaPhix -3 points-2 points ago

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Alright, you mugs. Don't louse this up!