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top 200 commentsshow all 227

[–]kevinbobevin 1246 points1247 points ago

That's some hard pour corn we've got going on here

[–]uh_yeah_i_call_bs 234 points235 points ago

</thread>

[–]x755x 186 points187 points ago

This is the most amazing pun I have ever seen in my life.

[–]War_Junkie 155 points156 points ago

Amaizeing.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]cracka1337 16 points17 points ago

There might be a kernel of truth to that

[–]tlicky12 17 points18 points ago

Reddit really has an ear for these puns.

[–]Kensin 18 points19 points ago

They do crop up pretty often...

[–]enfyrneaux 2 points3 points ago

Though they'll be husked by the time we're through with them.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Its time to stalk this pun thread.

[–]JCXtreme 1 point2 points ago

We need to bring this thread back to it's roots.

[–]EreTheWorldCrumbles 4 points5 points ago

Don't maize me bro

[–]Jayx 14 points15 points ago

ya blew it.

[–]Laminar 16 points17 points ago

One girl, two cobs...

[–]JodoYodo 4 points5 points ago

It's great but is it really better than that one about putting Descartes before the whores?

[–]Shannaniganns 1 point2 points ago

You mean this one?

It's my favourite.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]x755x 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, but the fact that it's exactly what's in the picture, subtext and all, is what makes it amazing.

[–]pizza65 29 points30 points ago

Only commenting so I can come back one day and show my grandkids this comment

[–]Mad_Sconnie 26 points27 points ago

Oh my God.

[–]kelseyxiv 10 points11 points ago

It took a second for my brain to process the magic that you just did

[–]NativeAlchemist 14 points15 points ago

Once in a millennia does a pun of this magnitude show itself. You sir, are the chosen one.

[–]crseat 20 points21 points ago

Yeah, you win the punlympics for today for sure.

[–]Paultimate79 28 points29 points ago

</reddit>

[–]Z3wpk 19 points20 points ago

Noooo don't DO THA...........

[–]jokr004 8 points9 points ago

hold on, now...

[–]I_Are_Brown_Bear 3 points4 points ago

Winner.

[–]IWasGregInTokyo 1 point2 points ago

Always remember: Do NOT read and drink coffee at the same time.

/win

[–]og_sandiego -1 points0 points ago

bravo <slow clap>

[–]F0XK1NG 0 points1 point ago

Actually a Montasanto advertisement.

[–]zitfarmer 0 points1 point ago

The birth of a corn star.

[–]A_Livins 0 points1 point ago

I believe we have comment of the year...

[–]Mesquite_Skeet_Skeet 79 points80 points ago

Wait'll she discovers it on the cob.

[–]tyrroi 2 points3 points ago

Is 'Wait'll' a word?

[–]cuddlefucker 10 points11 points ago

In the midwest it is.

[–]Mesquite_Skeet_Skeet 0 points1 point ago

Good question. I didn't even consider that.

Well, dictionary.com says it is, if that's worth anything:

'll

2) contraction of till (used when the preceding word ends in t): Wait'll your father comes home!

[–]Jack_potGW 61 points62 points ago

Smother me in gravy you big dirty man

[–]he_eats_da_poo_poo 9 points10 points ago

On my way!

[–]tuxedojacob 280 points281 points ago

This looks a little cornographic.

[–]Sir_Berus 100 points101 points ago

[–]That_Weird_Girl 88 points89 points ago

I can't believe that's actually a thing.

[–]Beaver420 52 points53 points ago

15 people REALLY love corn

Edit: Geezus their numbers have doubled

[–]YuSik 17 points18 points ago

"Bondage" is the best one haha..

[–]ResidentWeeaboo 4 points5 points ago

16

[–]SamWhite 0 points1 point ago

Edit: Geezus their numbers have doubled

If this rate of growth continues, they'll have 1.4 x 10539 subscribers in one year.

[–]the_pissed_off_goose 9 points10 points ago

damn work, getting in the way of my cornography

[–]A_British_Gentleman 2 points3 points ago

Seems there really is a subreddit for everything.

[–]Thad_Jarvis 2 points3 points ago

notmyra fucking knocked it outta the park with this one

[–]fmontez1 46 points47 points ago

Schlob on my cob

[–]Integrity32 26 points27 points ago

like corn on the knob

[–]LazlowS 10 points11 points ago

Shuck in with me

[–]cleverlyannoying 4 points5 points ago

Gotta love the nibblets.

[–]wmurray003 1 point2 points ago

I'm from Memphis, and I can't believe you guys have heard that song... that is actually kind of weird.

[–]itskieran 12 points13 points ago

These puns amaize me

[–]jimlii 6 points7 points ago

Lemme call the kernel, he loves these pun threads

[–]SHYS7IE 1 point2 points ago

Lets stop the puns before they get too corny

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Baytron 7 points8 points ago

honk if you're husky

[–]NoFateButWhatYouMake 1 point2 points ago

Reminds me of Sifl & Olly. The call from the public with the girl addicted to corn.

[–]alaughinmoose 45 points46 points ago

Guy on the bench in the background wishes he had some corn.

[–]Dab_of_PureGold 60 points61 points ago

no one ever pays me in corn!

[–]LactoseGalaxy 0 points1 point ago

Oh gah...that quote...where's it from? My brain is nieve.

[–]travisthefairy 2 points3 points ago

[–]LactoseGalaxy 2 points3 points ago

Thank you Thank you! his voice was in my head.

[–]kingofallryans34 25 points26 points ago

Meanwhile, in Nebraska...

[–]Theothodos 10 points11 points ago

I think you mean Iowa. If this was Nebraska, that would be buttered.

[–]noizes 10 points11 points ago

You're damn straight it would be. Grilled or boiled. If you boil it don't you fucking dare let it over cook. Get some butter, its not a cock so no reason to jerk it off like Rachel Ray. Use a butter dish you heathen. Got corn thingies? Use them, or don't. But once you pick up that ear, you eat it. You don't put it down until its gone. You do NOT put the corn down until its gone.

Can't wait to devour many cobs this year.

Have a link http://www.howtocookcornonthecob.com/

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 5 points6 points ago

Texan here, TIL Nebraskans take their corn very fucking seriously.

[–]noizes 0 points1 point ago

Please don't judge all Nebraska corn eating habits on mine, even my friends think I'm a bit to serious.

[–]constantly_drunk 1 point2 points ago

Too late. You're the stereotype in my mind for Nebraskans now.

[–]warriors_birth 0 points1 point ago

That's what she said.

[–]taystim 1 point2 points ago

Do people in other places not butter their corn!?

[–]Dramatic_pause 0 points1 point ago

I actually can't stand it, makes it too greasy for me. I just like the sweet taste of corn.

[–]SuBj3cT 1 point2 points ago

Or Indiana.

[–]NRGYGEEK 13 points14 points ago

I used to babysit a kid who had a corn box instead of a sandbox. Apparently it has its advantages over the standard play equipment (mostly that you don't end up with a child who has sand all in his/her clothes), but you do need to be careful not to leave it out and exposed (though, you should really be doing this with a sandbox anyway since cats will use it as a litter box).

For other options instead of sand, I found this

[–]Sunflowerhead 21 points22 points ago

How the heck do you make a corn castle?

[–]octocock 42 points43 points ago

Out of corn.

[–]darsh_stan 7 points8 points ago

[–]landragoran 5 points6 points ago

this was my thought as well. one of the most important things about a sandbox is the ability to get the sand wet so it compacts nicely and can be shaped.

[–]PEEPS_IN_MY 1 point2 points ago

Sounds like a euphemism for poop.

[–]evioive 0 points1 point ago

Two words: caramel corn

Though the way to pronounce "caramel" is debateable (car-mel? care-a-mel? etc etc).

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Ca-ra-mel

Crazy usa and their crazy spelling / pronunciation

[–]evioive 2 points3 points ago

Hey, the USA isn't the only place with a monopoly on weird pronunciations. I frequently commute through a district named Southwark here in the UK, except it's officially pronounced "Soth-uk" (like in the station announcements and such).

[–]koolkid005 0 points1 point ago

yeah Gloucester totally isn't a city in England...

[–]enjoyingtheride 1 point2 points ago

This changed subjects so fast, I was reading down thread on my phone and actually let out a giggle. My pride is ruined.

[–]AGGGman 6 points7 points ago

We had wood chips. They fucken hurt.

[–]bluelikejazz 5 points6 points ago

When I was growing up, my friends' mom let us play in rice. She'd lay out an old bedsheet, pour out rice, and then pour it back in a container when we were done.

[–]Aitioma 1 point2 points ago

Are you Chinese?

[–]0l01o1ol0 8 points9 points ago

Most Chinese and Japanese people would freak out over playing with food like that. They have recent memories of food shortages and famines, so the older generation generally has a deep reaction against wasting food, and it's been instilled to younger generations.

Also, they are more paranoid about keeping food clean.

[–]obsessive_cook 1 point2 points ago

Wasting rice is unheard of in my Chinese family. I'm engaged to a German-American man and we've had to compromise on certain wedding traditions in the wedding planning process. Tossing rice was the first to go.

[–]bluelikejazz 0 points1 point ago

Nope hahaha

[–]gh5046 1 point2 points ago

Occupational therapists will sometimes use bins or tubs full of dried lima beans or corn for sensation exercises. They will put the patient, typically children, in the tub to play with the beans or grain.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]NRGYGEEK 0 points1 point ago

If you leave it uncovered it can, but so can a sandbox. If you cover it when no one is playing in it, you should be fine. I heard something about a certain time frame you should use to change out the corn, but the same is said for many other ___-box things. Just do some more research if you're interested, or use a non-food filler mentioned in the link I provided above.

[–]Zagrobelny 0 points1 point ago

And don't leave it in the sun, or else you'll have a popcorn box.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Scarjaka 3 points4 points ago

Anyone got some more CC?

Edit: Dunno why that guy deleted his comment. It said something about that being child cornography.

[–]SHIT_IN_HER_CUNT 2 points3 points ago

mods are asleep post that cc

[–]rawdoglife 17 points18 points ago

I've seen this corno

[–]loki00 3 points4 points ago

Soooo dirty

[–]senorschmu 7 points8 points ago

[–]people_scare_me 2 points3 points ago

[–]VulpesAbnocto 4 points5 points ago

[–]Ranoro8289 2 points3 points ago

It's not different at all, is it Steve?

[–]Mughi 0 points1 point ago

Welp, I gots what I came here for...

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]MOARfrosting[!] 0 points1 point ago

Homeostasis at 73%

[–]Rungottarun 2 points3 points ago

The touch, the feel... of kernels.

[–]Aaronman 2 points3 points ago

My dick feels like corn.

[–]tap112 2 points3 points ago

You might want to have a doctor take a look at that.

[–]apextek 1 point2 points ago

corn palace ND?

[–]reverbs 1 point2 points ago

"Come to me animals! For I am your God!"

[–]BigThig 1 point2 points ago

I found this a little too funny, what's happening to me?

[–]Efflux 1 point2 points ago

When she gets older she is going to like creamed corn right there.

[–]arniegrape 1 point2 points ago

Is this a theme park where the theme is Iowa?

[–]Bread_Heads 1 point2 points ago

[–]dahveedibe 1 point2 points ago

The feeling is a-maize-ing.

[–]tiexano 1 point2 points ago

WAIT, WAIT, non-US redditor here. You guys have sandboxes filled with corn? For children to play in? What the shuddering fuck????

[–]marmaladeskiiies 0 points1 point ago

That's the Midwest for ya, I suppose.

[–]grande_hohner 0 points1 point ago

You obviously have never played in corn. You are missing out.

Also: We have literal mountains of corn, already shelled from the cob and piled up 50 feet high in many places. I kid you not, I used to work in a grain elevator and we would pile it up on the ground (there are machines that are made specifically for doing this, they shoot corn 75 feet high!) and once the pile was large enough, we'd cover them with large tarps and set up an exhaust system to keep it fresh. Google "corn pile" images and you will see exactly what I'm talking about. Some of our piles had enough corn (calorically) to feed a small country for weeks, if not months. Also, piles of this size are not uncommon at all, there might be 4-5 of that magnitude in a 10-12 mile area on a good year. On lunch break (we often would work 16 hrs/day, many of us would go to the top, and take a 20-30 minute nap on a bed made of corn... unbelievably comfortable to tell you the truth.

[–]aprilynn 1 point2 points ago

this reminds me of amelie when she puts her hand in the rice.

[–]Melkor_Morgoth 1 point2 points ago

There are thousands and thousands of uses for corn, all of which I will tell you about right now.

[–]MonstersCloset 1 point2 points ago

She's just asking to be popped.

[–]zamattiac 1 point2 points ago

♪♪ She's a maniac, maniac, on the floor...

[–]hellojosh 1 point2 points ago

Maized and cornfused

[–]highvolt4g3 1 point2 points ago

yaranaika?

[–]mahdiakira 1 point2 points ago

I see most everyone here has never been in a corn box before. It's actually a really cool feeling. It's like if you put your hand in a big bucket of ball bearings. The way it molds to the shape of your hand, but constantly puts a bit of pressure on it from the weight. It's surprisingly relaxing.

[–]strothgar 1 point2 points ago

As a farm kid who grew up shoveling...I now have to itch.

[–]grod87 1 point2 points ago

Was this taken at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo? I have a very similar picture of my nephew doing nearly the same thing in what looks like the exact same spot. I might wait a week then post it for the karma.

[–]LeCrazed 1 point2 points ago

Dat Corn!

[–]gzizza16 1 point2 points ago

Soft corn.

[–]GreenSide159 1 point2 points ago

In Nebraska we do corn boxes not sand boxes.

[–]bi-curiousgeorge 1 point2 points ago

I used to work in a movie theater, and we kept a giant plastic bucket of corn behind the concession stand to scoop into the kettle as needed. Whenever I was feeling down, I would stick my whole arm in as far as I could, because for some reason, it feels awesome. One by one the other employees admitted they all did it, and agreed it feels rad.

[–]Sandvicheater 1 point2 points ago

The man on the bench, "I survived Nam and now my granddaughter is erotically enjoying herself with corn.....what the hell did I do to deserve this??"

[–]timo103 1 point2 points ago

Corn, ribbed for her pleasure.

[–]monkey_buttler 1 point2 points ago

cant breathe.. too much corn related laughter...

[–]beachjustice 2 points3 points ago

I'm pretty impressed. I came expecting, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug." or "Meth; Not even once," to be the top comment or something but I finished before I checked the comments.

[–]delicious_downvotes 2 points3 points ago

I am just laughing uncontrollably. What the fuck is she doing? Whyyyy? xD

[–]bobstay 0 points1 point ago

Well, it clearly feels nice.

[–]MonsterIt 2 points3 points ago

[–]meangrampa 0 points1 point ago

Whatever turns your screws.

[–]archonemis 0 points1 point ago

At first I was confused as to what I was supposed to be seeing.

Then I felt a little embarrassed for that poor kid who will now be immortalized.

[–]thecanadianflu 0 points1 point ago

Good god I think I know her!

[–]bluedragonlord64 0 points1 point ago

Ladies and gentlemen : The American Midwest. I should know, I live there. (there's an annual "Corn Festival" a few towns over, I shit you not)

[–]Mr_Tricycle 0 points1 point ago

I am your hay king!

[–]fifilacoquette 0 points1 point ago

Too much corn makes your poop spiky.

[–]KidMoxie 0 points1 point ago

Photocorned, classic.

[–]wildGRUB123 0 points1 point ago

...against my corny fingers, is almost orgasmiiiiic aheh!

[–]tylerwatt12 0 points1 point ago

was this at petitti's?

[–]The_Billek 0 points1 point ago

I work with an autistic kid who really gets down in the corn bin at a local farmer's market. He'll play with, and run the corn through his fingers, he's like Scrooge McDuck in his gold vault. He'll do the the same with woodchips, dirt, sand, grass, and even his goldfish for snack. I wish there was something out there for me that would create such enjoyment of something so simple.

[–]cracka1337 0 points1 point ago

LSD

[–]The_Billek 1 point2 points ago

I agree, it's the only thing that does it for me.

[–]LevTheRed 0 points1 point ago

I think there's a word for that. Splooshing: the erotic act of pouring and/or rubbing foods on your body.

[–]erdog22 0 points1 point ago

This is amazing, the title makes it perfect

[–]alienangel2 0 points1 point ago

#1

[–]rhirhi1999 0 points1 point ago

wow i remember this place. its in California right?

[–]hookedupphat 0 points1 point ago

Rita corny Michael

[–]sarcasm_included 0 points1 point ago

Corn on me!

[–]Aitioma 0 points1 point ago

That's a weird fetish.

[–]Kush_on_thebrain 0 points1 point ago

I don't think they notice, who doesn't love corn its in everything!!!

[–]theAlphaginger 0 points1 point ago

Okay, I know there is a somebody around here who really fucking likes corn. We all know you're here. This is your time to shine.

[–]sgtpppr 0 points1 point ago

I'm kind of shocked no one has posted that pic of the fat guy giving it to a sad chick from behind while eating a can of corn. I can't even find it myself to post it and it's a classic.

[–]Noel_S_Jytemotiv 0 points1 point ago

Oh the feeling of corn:

That sluggish feeling when I hit the throttle because my gas tank is 10% full of it.

[–]dannynewidea 0 points1 point ago

I read that as "Oh the feeling of scorn" and thought you were talking about the disgruntled chick in the background.

[–]Dr_Explosion 0 points1 point ago

For some inexplicable reason, I thought of this song

[–]Dullbert 0 points1 point ago

Looks like she's having a corngasm.

[–]Naillilb 0 points1 point ago

You don't understand how good corn kernels feel until you've rolled around in them.

[–]jaycrew 0 points1 point ago

i like corm

[–]ab103630 0 points1 point ago

OHHHHH YESSSSSS! SPREAD THOSE KERNELS ALL OVER ME

[–]joeverdrive 0 points1 point ago

In Soviet Russia, bowl vomits on you

[–]YOUR-UNCLE -1 points0 points ago

I've been in a corn box. It's incredibly fun.

[–]StrictlyBusiness055 0 points1 point ago

"OH, YEA, my dick feels like corn!" - Dane Cook

[–]polysyllabist 0 points1 point ago

THIS LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN!!!

I WANT TO GO!!

Where is this and would it be creepy if a 29 year old man were to lay down giggling making corn angels?

[–]TheDirtySanchez 0 points1 point ago

DEM THIGS

[–]iamayam 0 points1 point ago

Corn store...

[–]Jonah_Whale 0 points1 point ago

If you build it. She will pour corn on herself.

[–]ghostly1001 0 points1 point ago

The one thing that you will always rub on your body......... the love of corn.

[–]This_isR2Me 0 points1 point ago

[insert korny corny horny joke here]

[–]IWasGregInTokyo 0 points1 point ago

Shades of Anne Margaret and baked beans.

[–]lauren239 0 points1 point ago

Indiana, this has got to be Indiana...

[–]sithlordawesome 0 points1 point ago

Only in Nebraksa.

[–]dysprog 0 points1 point ago

This picture is Cornagraphic

[–]DontCareWhatYouThink 0 points1 point ago

Yes Yes No Yes

[–]xxLurker 0 points1 point ago

Brazzers logo anyone?

[–]Aloaf 0 points1 point ago

Was Dwight Shrute running this?

[–]Tmrmcc 0 points1 point ago

Dude I understand that girl completely. Have you ever been in one of those things? It's mothafuggin divine.

[–]mikeees56 0 points1 point ago

tits and vagina

[–]pinkwhale 0 points1 point ago

gave that bitch some corn... bitches love corn.

[–]KJTP 0 points1 point ago

She was the very last thing I saw.

[–]MoroccoBotix 0 points1 point ago

"I'll have what she's having!"

[–]PublicAccessNYC 0 points1 point ago

Stop with the corny jokes.

[–]kompres 0 points1 point ago

LAAWWD! HAD THIS BEEN HFCS!

[–]baolin21 0 points1 point ago

Dafuq

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

The thick girl in the middle looks good to me

[–]ragweed 0 points1 point ago

Jesus, how many pairs of tits do I have to examine to see a joke around here?

[–]Danjour 0 points1 point ago

This is one of those short bursts of extreme laughter posts.

[–]cturnr 0 points1 point ago

Her?

[–]IbidtheWriter 0 points1 point ago

*Insert corn-based pun here.

[–]samout 1 point2 points ago

*Insert another corn-based pun here, while jokingly implying the previous commenters pun was unfunny and not welcome.

[–]Doopz479 1 point2 points ago

*Insert corny pun*