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1829
1830

When I get caught watching porn (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by TopSekrit

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[–]throwaway_for_keeps 61 points62 points ago

Reminds me of a story of a college friend that we're no longer friends with. We all knew the story, but he didn't know we all knew. We'll call him Alex. So anyway, Alex is a freshman in college and likes to masturbate a lot after getting out of his ultra-conservative home for the first time. Alex doesn't have much of a social life so while his roommate goes out partying on weekends, Alex stays in and masturbates. One night, his roommate leaves to go to a party and Alex decides to get to work. Loads up a few of his favorite videos on his multiple computer monitors. Mid-crank, his roommate comes back into the room for one reason or another. Alex, penis in hand, freaks the fuck out, doesn't know what to do. He can't simultaneously turn off the porn on all the monitors and pull his pants up, so he does the only logical thing: he belly flops right onto the floor. His roommate decides whatever he needed in the room isn't that important, backs out, and proceeds to tell everyone this story.

[–]dfrehil 3 points4 points ago

This wouldn't happen to have taken place in Texas, would it?

[–]throwaway_for_keeps 4 points5 points ago

Not this specific instance, but I imagine it's not the only time something similar has happened.

[–]i_no_like_u 3 points4 points ago

Haha, almost identical story happened to a kid in a nearby room in the dorms my freshmen year. This kid didn't flop though he just kinda pushed his computer off his desk and kinda fell forward off his chair. Fucking classic moment. He knew we all new after that and was a little awkward for about a week. On the bright side for him at least he didn't do any serious damage to his laptop.

[–]whatkindofasshole 0 points1 point ago

I'm going to go ahead and assume he didn't flop onto his penis...and am trying not to visualize just how painful that would be.

[–]ImAdderable 1 point2 points ago

Haha ooh sweet Jebus that almost made me wet my pants

[–]ciberaj 2 points3 points ago

Of hornyness?

[–]Lewis614 23 points24 points ago

That cat just shut off.

[–]Dudewifskill 8 points9 points ago

Ran out of batteries.

[–]freakwharf 7 points8 points ago

How do these fit in the cats?

[–]b4n4n4p4nc4k3s 7 points8 points ago

Slowly.

[–]greycubed 62 points63 points ago

I just came home with a cheesburger. Roommate's kitten greeted me and I gave him a big hunk of the cheesy beef on the table. He started going nuts, jumped up, slipped, slid, and fell on his ass on the floor. He just laid there contemplating his idiocy until I put the beef on the floor and he ate it with humility. His face when.

[–]fabis 18 points19 points ago

His face when?

[–]Xorpher 26 points27 points ago

Yes.

[–]LazerChicklets 3 points4 points ago

It would probably look like this:

=ఠ_ఠ=

[–]lilstumpz -1 points0 points ago

What was his face?

[–]down_vote_magnet 27 points28 points ago

Best gif I've seen this week. It's like a mash-up of this and this

[–]jasher 3 points4 points ago

Not a gif, but relevant as hell.

[–]WoAProximity 0 points1 point ago

The slow motion "SLAM" was the breaking point for me there.

[–]eyecite 5 points6 points ago

SAIL!

[–]rljacobson 2 points3 points ago

I keep seeing this. What does it mean? (Don't say sail.)

[–]eyecite 2 points3 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Veg63B8ofnQ

[–]rljacobson 2 points3 points ago

Ah, ok! I LOLed.

[–]pez319 2 points3 points ago

sail: A piece of material extended on a mast to catch the wind and propel a boat, ship, or other vessel

[–]Beaver420 1 point2 points ago

also this

[–]b0w3n 3 points4 points ago

I am running out of space for all these bookmarks reddit.

[–]Doddicus 0 points1 point ago

save the images then idiot.

[–]b0w3n 2 points3 points ago

Wee because text takes up more space than images on a hard drive you see!

[–]qweoin 3 points4 points ago

no no.. set up an imgur account, then save images/gifs to your account (i.e. choose the "upload images from web" option)

[–]Shadax 2 points3 points ago

You know they make hard drives with >8GB capacity now, right?

Might I also recommend DropBox?

[–]b0w3n -1 points0 points ago

Yes.

[–]cbs5090 0 points1 point ago

Eagle!

[–]themythicalpelican 11 points12 points ago

I like to think that the cat put on the costume himself and was embarrassed at being discovered.

[–]anonymousHacker 6 points7 points ago

I don't know what I'd be more surprised by... the fact that I caught masturbating or that you're doing it in a bee costume.

[–]dennis09x 5 points6 points ago

I fucking lost it... Wipes tear

[–]Sauraku 4 points5 points ago

That cat has one blue eye and one orange eye. Which is really freaking cool.

[–]Doeke 6 points7 points ago

I wish I had that, it'd be fucking mathematical.

[–]Why-Guy 8 points9 points ago

Algebraic.

[–]Ratchy_Rox 5 points6 points ago

Depending if you upvote or downvote one of them gets brighter.

[–]HypeMachine 1 point2 points ago

portal reference

[–]MasterBistro 0 points1 point ago

They are complementary colors, they can be together without being portal. Especially because they are used together very often.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

portal reference + cat

[–]Ruddiver 1 point2 points ago

Well I have my day planned out. watch this gif for 8 hours straight.

[–]Undeadhunter 0 points1 point ago

No one has a key on their door? You know you can use it to make it impossible for people to enter you know?

[–]matz8916 0 points1 point ago

omg! nice!

[–]Khue 0 points1 point ago

Dynamic exit

[–]Tails94 0 points1 point ago

Auto bots, bumblebee, lets role out!

[–]zinconinco13 0 points1 point ago

Acquiring smile wrinkles: worth it.

[–]congascribe 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for the laugh. People at work think I'm insane.

Maybe.

[–]discobolus 0 points1 point ago

why are you watching porn in a bee costume

[–]goondestroyer 0 points1 point ago

shannon, you just can't ask people that...

[–]RMiranda 0 points1 point ago

I feel you bro, I always have my beestume on while faping, no exceptions

[–]heyimrandi 0 points1 point ago

fuck.

[–]lilstumpz 0 points1 point ago

You dress up in a bumblebee suit and topple over your chair?

[–]RarneyBubble 0 points1 point ago

How often do you get caught watching porn?

[–]TheMaryTron 0 points1 point ago

disregard this comment. i just want to be able to watch this shit again later.

[–]Cubbance 4 points5 points ago

Protip: Just hit the "save" link under the link while logged in. You don't even need RES to do it.

[–]TheMaryTron 1 point2 points ago

I have tried that once or twice but nothing ever shows up under my 'saved.' So now I save and comment.

[–]Cubbance 1 point2 points ago

Well, so long as you're able to find things again, one method is as good as another. Before I learned I could save threads, I was bookmarking everything into a reddit bookmark folder. It got...unwieldy.

[–]TheMaryTron 1 point2 points ago

That could be the most perfect word choice I hear all week! Much love, and an upvote.

[–]Le_Painkiller -1 points0 points ago

seems legit

[–]NekkidSnaku -2 points-1 points ago

is he sick? :(

[–]qwerter 0 points1 point ago

looks a bit like fainting goat syndrome.

[–]Disasstah -2 points-1 points ago

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDD I'm out.

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