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570
571

Scumbag Bison (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Sydviciouz

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[–]IamAhamsterAMA 102 points103 points ago

Good guy bison. Helps wolves get a meal.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points ago

ah, the optimist.

[–]rossay83 10 points11 points ago

Do you know Hamtaro?

[–]Zzmax12 83 points84 points ago

What did the Bison say when he sacrificed his only child? Bye, son.

[–]OreoDragon 10 points11 points ago

Waaaay ahead of you.

[–]toogster 6 points7 points ago

yes, we saw that advice animal yesterday

[–]eMosen 8 points9 points ago

That was so humane of it

[–]diggemigre 27 points28 points ago

He was just trying to bison time.

[–]HeBoughtALot 1 point2 points ago

what a load of bull

[–]deighv 0 points1 point ago

It does look like the other Bison had it's neck snapped on the way down.

[–]monsters_from_the_id 23 points24 points ago

Shane from walking dead

[–]A_British_Gentleman 12 points13 points ago

Hey buddy I'll help you ou- oh fuck.

[–]thebatmobile 18 points19 points ago

I think he was trying to aim at the wolves but got the poor kid by accident. Poor thing though.

[–]DrDWayneLove 49 points50 points ago

I think he was just running and headbutting things out of his way so that he could keep running.

[–]Pious_Bias 17 points18 points ago

I think he deliberately knocked the smaller bison down to keep the pack of wolves preoccupied. So long as they're busy eating that one, the rest of the bison will have ample time to get to a safe distance.

[–]omv 11 points12 points ago

I think you're giving the bison too much credit. Probably was thinking something more along the lines of "FUCK FUCK FUCK, FUCK IS THIS, GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"

[–]MeatLord 0 points1 point ago

You sir beat me the the exact point I wanted to make, and by 2 minutes no less. I begrudgingly bestow upon you my upvote.

[–]Pious_Bias 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, having seen that gif for the third time now, I'm thoroughly convinced he was protecting the herd.

[–]xin_kuzi 1 point2 points ago

After 3 times, I felt the same way.

After the 4th and 5th time, I thought, "No, it was an accident".

After the 6th time, I thought "he didn't like that little byson anyway".

Then, after this, the 7th time, I learned to fap to it.

[–]Catcross 0 points1 point ago

Ive seen it around 8 times. Mistly in r/funny where it belongs

[–]borg88 -1 points0 points ago

Like the old joke about the two marketing guys walking through the jungle.

[–]Pious_Bias -1 points0 points ago

Oh, do tell. I don't actually know that one. (Serious)

[–]borg88 0 points1 point ago

They see a tiger. One of them starts putting his trainers on. The other one says "What are you doing? You can't outrun a tiger".

He replies "I don't need to outrun the tiger, I just need to outrun you"

[–]Pious_Bias -1 points0 points ago

Nice. Like that scene in, correct me if I'm wrong, The Grey, where the one guy pretends to fall and when the other guy helps him, the first guy cuts the other guy's leg, so the first guy can get away while the wolves eat the other guy. I think it's The Grey. Not sure.

[–]InvalidWhistle 2 points3 points ago

I agree. After watching this and thinking about it intelligently. Bison have no frontal vision. Their eyes are on the sides of their heads. He probably had no clue there was a calf in his path of "Get me the hell out of here"

[–]gogochampiong 11 points12 points ago

absolutely not. it clearly lunges below the calf before impact and takes an upswing with its face. completely premeditated.

[–]elcollin 1 point2 points ago

I haven't studied bison in particular, but all ungulates I'm aware of can see directly in front of them. Their fields of vision just don't overlap as much as ours or any other predator's do. Being able to see in front of you is essential, but being able to judge the distance to your prey is only important if it isn't a plant.

[–]InvalidWhistle 1 point2 points ago

After doing some research on the matter I have found the an ungulates field of vision is actually greater than that of a humans. They do suffer from red-green color blindness though.

[–]narsty 0 points1 point ago

they can't see shit

[–]SimilarImage 104 points105 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
1 month Bounceupinher Damn Nature here 1053 1166
3 months nusmesa Survival of the fittest /r/pics 144 359
4 months marathon Bison knocks over a weaker bison so the wolves can get it. [gif] here 25 24

This is an automated response

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[–]doomtimenow 14 points15 points ago

Oh wow, this has been reposted a lot, and it's the first time I've seen it. Weird.

[–]gunslingerkody 19 points20 points ago

glad someone else noticed this...

[–]mcneebs 6 points7 points ago

And the one with the best title/oc gets nothing.

"Le Scumbag all the Bison!!![fixed]" on the other hand is surely going to hit the front page.

[–]Jeran 1 point2 points ago

wait, so yesterday everyone was downvoting this bot, saying it spawned hatred for people reposting, and today it is top comment?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Where the heck is this bot for all the reposts of the kid in the washing machine video? I've seen it almost a dozen times in the past 48.

[–]BitterDivorcedDad 0 points1 point ago

You'd need to have some sort of video or English-language recognition. The former is easier, I suspect, although it would take a much larger database. Access to GooTube's signature database would help immensely.

The problem with vids like that is that once they go viral, people are downloading and re-uploading them to the video sites like crazy.

[–]OutstandingWarrant 0 points1 point ago

I was wondering when this bot would comment. I've seen this gif so much that it is almost sickening to see it rake in the karma.

[–]ryansc07 0 points1 point ago

Damn repost.... you scary

[–]GandalfTheFunky 4 points5 points ago

"You can't run faster than a bear!"

"I don't have to. I have to run faster than you."

[–]duramater4 7 points8 points ago

Dam I need a British voice commentary to explain wtf

[–]OiaHandoma 2 points3 points ago

I'm imagining the "scumbag" bison yelling "natural selection bitch" as he runs away.

[–]grospoliner 3 points4 points ago

You team killing fucktard!

[–]a_derp_in_thailand 7 points8 points ago

youtube video

[–]johnq-pubic 2 points3 points ago

Thanks for the video.
From the gif its not so clear, but in the video it sure looks like that Bison charged the younger one as a sacrifice.

[–]a_derp_in_thailand 7 points8 points ago

and the wolves were like "oh shit", "this guy for real?"

[–]Jesusthemexican 8 points9 points ago

Wow bisons. The douchebags of the animal kingdom

[–]VictorRomeo 14 points15 points ago

And Street Fighter Tournaments

[–]DangerOnTheRanger 1 point2 points ago

Someone needs to remake this GIF replacing the big Bison with M. Bison doing his sliding kick (standing heavy kick, for the curious). It'd be hilarious.

[–]doctorunk 2 points3 points ago

shane & otis

[–]Ragnrok 2 points3 points ago

Probably the most important day of the kid's life, but for the Bison it was Tuesday.

[–]DickFartCaptain 4 points5 points ago

But nobody noticed the two wolves that went to kill the asshole bison.

[–]yumpizza 0 points1 point ago

I don't think two wolves can take down an adult bison...

[–]LonelyBrotha 0 points1 point ago

Two on one, The odds favor the adult bison

[–]RWN406 -3 points-2 points ago

This is clearly a depiction of Judas fucking Jesus over. The 2 wolves/Jews we're giving Judas bison his cut of the deal. The only problem with this is that the whole bison betrayal actually happened.

[–]Lhabs 5 points6 points ago

Bison don't give a fuck

[–]biodigital 7 points8 points ago

oh my GOD. the first few times i watched it, i thought to myself, "oh how sad...all those little white buffalo babies watched their mom tumble over and break her neck. look how they gather around her and nudge her when she falls :C"

then realization that those are wolves...

[–]Richzor 5 points6 points ago

I did the same thing.

Take solace in the fact that wolves are pretty much our friends, and rarely attack humans, so it's cool. Everything's cool.

[–]c7hu1hu 9 points10 points ago

Ben Cochrum 1922 Manitoba. North of Fisher river on Lake Winnipeg. The victim's bones were found among the remains of 11 wolves. Seven had been shot and four had been clubbed to death. Only after his rifle stock was smashed did the trapper apparently cease to fight and succumb to the wolf pack

Holy shit.

[–]jotch 1 point2 points ago

The Grey: Origins

[–]asnof 5 points6 points ago

I laughed way too much at this, beyond that you need to think of what field of vision they have.

[–]averagejoe1994 1 point2 points ago

natural selection at its best

[–]EdmundXXIII 1 point2 points ago

Anybody repost this to r/aww?

[–]iiiitsjess 1 point2 points ago

Wahhh. Frozen planet clip. I literally teared up at this part and had to turn away. Poor baby! :(

[–]iamdanhi 2 points3 points ago

I've still to watch it but I opened up a few episodes and skipped around.

I think I managed to see one of the saddest parts of it that made me feel like shit.

Seal sitting on a piece of ice with orcas swimming around. They make waves to wash it to the edge and one of them grabs it's tail and you see it slowly dragged off the ice and pulled underwater. The seal just looked like it knew it was going to die and just gave up. I'm usually one of those "thats how nature works" people but it was really sad watching it.

Video clip of it.

[–]iiiitsjess 1 point2 points ago

Oh gosh! I had to turn away to that one too! It made me so damn sad. I felt awful for the seal. I think I even got a little teary eyed at that, because they just wouldn't leave the poor seal alone. :(

[–]sailthroughspace 0 points1 point ago

so in turn should the whales just not eat?

[–]I_sometimes_lie 1 point2 points ago

Many years later...

"The day your brother was eaten by wolves was the most important day of your life, but for me it was Tuesday"

[–]slyguy183 1 point2 points ago

Was expecting this Scumbag Bison

[–]lostboyfalkon 1 point2 points ago

came here because i thought street fighter

[–]soymE 1 point2 points ago

I'm with you brother..

[–]Yuriegh 2 points3 points ago

Move bitch get out da way

[–]sycoraxfleet 8 points9 points ago

Set to music

[–]Sir_Meowsalot 0 points1 point ago

It's timed so perfectly that the lyrics start when the bigger one connects with the smaller one.

[–]maumacd 0 points1 point ago

A million Internets to you, for seeing the humor in someone else's comment and making it come to life.

I applaud you and wish i could give you more than one upvote.

[–]Skiddish_Rhino 3 points4 points ago

This kills the bison.

[–]KodakMoments 1 point2 points ago

If you watch the video you see that the small bison had already been attacked enough to be in a lot of pain. The bigger bison puts it out of its misery. Good guy bison.

edit: Oops I mean the actually documentary. I'm not trying to act as though I saw something in this gif no one else did.

[–]cdrMShepard 0 points1 point ago

I'm at a loss for words... o.O

[–]mrchicano209 0 points1 point ago

That's what you for fucking with my wife!

[–]domo-loves-yoshi 0 points1 point ago

Damn nature you scary.

I love that quote.

This sort of thing does not bother me anymore.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Nature is such a bitch

[–]Vapoureon 0 points1 point ago

My favourite part of this GIF is that that one wolf looks really confused as to what just happened.

[–]revosfts 0 points1 point ago

I was waiting for M. Bison. Shit SNES has ruined me...

[–]keeok 0 points1 point ago

natural selection bison

[–]gllmo 0 points1 point ago

hahah i lol'd to this

[–]runnoft 0 points1 point ago

I feel like iv'e done this in football to my own running back more than i would care to say...

[–]fwtx7 0 points1 point ago

self preservation man

[–]markofkain 0 points1 point ago

I don't have to run fast, I just have to run faster than you.

[–]HoboHunter657 0 points1 point ago

Man this thing has floated around reddit forever. I can remember it even having this same title... waiting doesnt mean we forget.

[–]innersarcasm 0 points1 point ago

survival of the fittest at its best

[–]GoochMcScrotes 0 points1 point ago

Fuck yeah, Frozen Planet.

[–]criminalmadman 0 points1 point ago

I laughed until I realised the things chasing it were wolves and they were going to kill and eat it :(

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

This is the most wtf-worthy thing I've seen here in a long time.

[–]SupSatire 0 points1 point ago

I'm with you, bison. I'd trip my buddy in an instant the second I hear howls.

[–]cancernigger 0 points1 point ago

So, what was this viral marketing for again? I forgot from the last dozen times I seen this.

[–]Navycb44 0 points1 point ago

A true Blue Falcon

[–]eddward 0 points1 point ago

well done, sir. well done. Here's to you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Motha Fucka

[–]DesertTortoiseSex 0 points1 point ago

why the fuck is this here

[–]LoriStrode 0 points1 point ago

wtf ?

[–]biennavida 0 points1 point ago

I thought bison can run up to 35 mph. Why was it lagging so much?

[–]All-American-Bot -1 points0 points ago

(For our friends outside the USA... 35 mph -> 56.3 km/h) - Yeehaw!

[–]WhiskeyAbuse 0 points1 point ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Voyg6SNVpu8

[–]sr20inans2000 0 points1 point ago

I need help, was a baby bison running with baby wolves then got ran over? or whats going on?

[–]walker21 0 points1 point ago

I laughed...then felt sad.

[–]macdaddy9423 0 points1 point ago

that bison is like rhino from spiderman

[–]MagicMan1512 0 points1 point ago

That Bison was a Scumbag. Did anyone see what I did there.

[–]Jdog-666 0 points1 point ago

REPOST FAGET. Oops wrong subreddit.

[–]NumberOneBrony 0 points1 point ago

what an asshole.

[–]spiritwell 0 points1 point ago

Perfectly titled.

[–]SpywareAgen7 0 points1 point ago

this was my favorite part of the episode

[–]Ironicallypredictabl 0 points1 point ago

And they named him.... Obama.

[–]Underdogg13 0 points1 point ago

This is one of my favorite pieces of nature cinematography ever.

[–]jasiones 0 points1 point ago

I can imagine him yelling this as he pummels over his friend "Survival of the fittest MOTHER FUCKER!"

[–]sparko10 0 points1 point ago

that reminds me of the tshirt that states: if we're being chased by zombies i'm totally tripping you.....

http://www.snorgtees.com/if-zombies-chase-us

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

That one wolf was like "Dafuq?!"

[–]Strug-ga-ling 0 points1 point ago

"I'm sorry Otis..."

[–]Ceigee 0 points1 point ago

Proves it. You don't need to be the fastest to survive from a predator. You just have to be the biggest asshole.

[–]ResinTeeth 0 points1 point ago

yep those CGI bisons are real bastards

[–]knowsguy 0 points1 point ago

Do you seriously believe that bison is computer graphics? Or, is that some kind of inside joke?

[–]awkwardUracil -4 points-3 points ago

ok, i've seen this 2939358234 times on reddit.

[–]knowsguy 1 point2 points ago

I've never seen it, so it's new to me.

If I had seen it, I would already know it's a repost.

Either way, your reply is completely pointless. Thanks for that.

[–]nommytorton -2 points-1 points ago

I must really be an awful fuck because that was hilarious to me.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]geist_zero -1 points0 points ago

O rly?

[–]iheartrms -1 points0 points ago

When escaping a pack of wolves, I don't have to be able to run fast... I only have to run faster than YOU.

[–]MrNameless -1 points0 points ago

You don't have to be faster than the wolves, you just have to be faster than the guy running next you.

[–]midway12 -1 points0 points ago

can someone get the hat on him?

[–]0pAwesome -1 points0 points ago

The funny thing is, I once saw a post where someone was pointing out how this picture got posted way too much.

[–]cryospam -1 points0 points ago

You don't have to be the fastest runner when the zombies come...you just can't be the slowest.

Same rule applies when being chased by wolves.

[–]x3r0h0ur -1 points0 points ago

I love the one dog that gets trampled and gets back up on the far left. "What...wha...huh....FOOD!"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]skanadian 1 point2 points ago

Ya we know, we read the title and watched the gif too

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