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all 74 comments

[–]CrysDawn 72 points73 points ago

Handshakes and fist-bumps are not delegated to whites or blacks.

[–]qwop88 40 points41 points ago

Next you'll tell me white people can eat fried chicken

[–]CrysDawn 9 points10 points ago

This just in: White people can eat friend chicken!

Shocking, absolutely shocking!

[–]freddiefranks 31 points32 points ago

What the hell is a friend chicken?

[–]franklymydeer 26 points27 points ago

It's a wing to cry on when you're in need.

[–]Battletooth[!] 8 points9 points ago

And even when you love her, she is just there to be your friend chicken. Nothing more.

[–]Catcross -1 points0 points ago

Next you'll say white people are able to digest watermelon!

[–]CrysDawn 1 point2 points ago

Don't you befriend all of your meals before you eat them ... ?

[–]internetsanta 0 points1 point ago

What? Does that mean that we can eat watermelon too?

[–]CrysDawn 0 points1 point ago

No, sorry. That one is still off limits.

[–]KachimiGaNai -1 points0 points ago

Shouldn't it be relegate? Not trying to be that guy, just curious.

[–]Battletooth[!] 1 point2 points ago

I have never heard that word before (English is my second language, before people call me stupid.) so may I ask exactly what that means and how it's deferent than delegate?

[–]KachimiGaNai -2 points-1 points ago

Delegate basically means to designate a person to act for someone else. So someone that is voted into a political office would be a delegate, or in his sentence it would mean to designate handshakes or fist-bumps to blacks or whites as if they were a person.

However, relegate means to assign to a particular group or category, and generally in US English the phrase would be something like:

"Fist-bumping is not specifically relegated to black history"

(I'm not an English major)

Edit -- Tried to make it less confusing.

[–]CrysDawn 0 points1 point ago

I thinks this definition would work:

"to commit (powers, functions, etc.) to another as agent or deputy." http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/delegate?s=t

If you're assigning functions (such as the way to greet a person) to a race, it is a delegation.

Relegate seems to denote inferiority, which was not my intention.

[–]KachimiGaNai 0 points1 point ago

Relegate can mean that, it can also mean this:

  1. To assign to a particular class or category; classify.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/relegate

Which was where my confusion was, I still don't think delegate is the right word here, or maybe it's just that both delegate and relegate are appropriate and relegate only sounds better to me because I've usually heard it used with your phrasing. Where's an English major when you need one?

[–]CrysDawn 0 points1 point ago

Right here actually. Does that mean I win?

[–]KachimiGaNai 0 points1 point ago

No, I think we both ended up using the words correctly: http://thesaurus.com/browse/relegate

I guess it pretty much does not matter in usage. At least not enough for me to worry about it any longer. Carry on!

[–]Tastygroove -1 points0 points ago

No, but let's face it, us honkies have always been deficient in the cool handshake dept.

[–]CrysDawn 0 points1 point ago

That's why we hug in the South. :)

[–]JLee43 12 points13 points ago

Oh we both messed up? Quick! Do the same thing to me and we'll make it our secret handshake!

[–]jceez 7 points8 points ago

[–]SimilarImage 23 points24 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
3 months onetoomanyvoweels White people. here 167 651
7 months fredrk You'll never be this white /r/pics 417 922
9 months TahsinTekin Every fucking time here 255 844

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[–]sir_grumph 7 points8 points ago

I've always found this incredibly painful to watch.

[–]CrackersInMyCrack 3 points4 points ago

Try doing it.

[–]sir_grumph 1 point2 points ago

That would be even more painfully awkward.

[–]dont_get_it 2 points3 points ago

Inaccurate headline - those guys are just in different Freemason Lodges, hence the confusion re: secret handshakes.

[–]egga94 2 points3 points ago

That's why you always say "pound it bro" before you try the fist pound... will they never learn?

[–]Turdmeist -2 points-1 points ago

love it

[–]deafbrowndog 12 points13 points ago

when "people" try to act like "black guys"?

Way to be a complete douchebag.

[–]mtfr 5 points6 points ago

If you seriously think there was any intended racism in that title, you're looking way too hard for it.

[–]longrifle 0 points1 point ago

some people just spend their day trying to be offended.

[–]slimbruddah -1 points0 points ago

This is known as being on the negative tip.

[–]FlaviaTitus -1 points0 points ago

Agreed. To assert that there is no difference between American black or white culture, i.e. to assert that IN GENERAL blacks and whites don't TEND TO follow different cultural norms means that you are asserting that whites and blacks are of the same culture...i.e. that blacks do not have a culture, when VERY clearly they do.

[–]ableom 1 point2 points ago

I just shake everyone's hand to avoid any weird situation like this; so at worst I just look like a stuck up that isn't cool enough to give some dap, which is cool with me.

[–]khalid1984 1 point2 points ago

[–]brandiee2 1 point2 points ago

Or they are both just awkward.

[–]1wiseguy 1 point2 points ago

It's not their fault. Your hands get kind of messed up when you sign a lot of checks.

[–]Jokulan 1 point2 points ago

Oh gawd... Finnish coaches :D:D:D:D Tho they weren't good enough to carry us to victory this year >.>

[–]mk1709 1 point2 points ago

Awkward Finnish handshakes ftw!!

[–]Lorithas 1 point2 points ago

In case anyone was wondering, that's Jukka Jalonen and Sakari Pietilä, two of the coaches for the Finnish national hockey team. And in the end they got it right.

[–]DingleHorse 1 point2 points ago

Act like black guys? Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that all black guys acted a certain way. Silly me!

[–]themansonboogies 0 points1 point ago

Act like? You all have just seen the secret handshake of hockeyleagueofjustice

[–]tymothi 0 points1 point ago

This took a while to load on my phone. It looked like the guy was thinking "I'm gonna punch the shit outta your hand."

[–]boilerfan2012 0 points1 point ago

This happened to me last night, so I cartwheeled out of there and everyone forgot I tried to act black. Crisis averted.

[–]scottklarr 0 points1 point ago

The other day I went to give a guy a handshake and he tried to do a fist bump, so then I changed to that and he then tried to do some weird ass bro shake i've never seen before. After that point I found it so funny that I then purposely made sure to fuck it up the next two tries.

[–]Turdmeist 0 points1 point ago

thats the new handshake. alternating fist bumb to shake ad vise versa into the thumb grasp... legit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Oh it's awkward.

[–]Helen_Keller_Swag 0 points1 point ago

Paper covers rock bitch!

[–]neurdoscience 0 points1 point ago

Lizard eats paper.

[–]Wingsofpestilence 0 points1 point ago

This happens to me far too often.

[–]johnny_seven 0 points1 point ago

Maybe it's just their secret handshake?

[–]lilleborik 0 points1 point ago

Close enough.

[–]Sometimes_Raps 0 points1 point ago

[–]siqniz 0 points1 point ago

you guys do that all the time too

[–]ak_ 0 points1 point ago

I play basketball twice a week. This is my worst fear every time i say hi to the other guys.

[–]Frankstg 0 points1 point ago

That was painful to watch.

[–]baracudaboy 0 points1 point ago

Not very often does something make me laugh out loud.

[–]nmurdock012 0 points1 point ago

the fist bump guy was dead set on fist bumping.

[–]LiteweightPhenomenal 0 points1 point ago

When this happens at work I just yell "Awwwwwww... WHITE PEOPLE!!!!"

[–]the__itis 0 points1 point ago

looks like a secret handshake to me..... pretty smooth even in slow mo

[–]georgy11 0 points1 point ago

As a foreigner who studied in the US, I always found this hilarious. Was working in a food court talking to this regular white guy having an intelliginet conversation. This black guy comes up to us and and asks us where the juice machine was. He's all like animated and says Yo DAWG, just shizzle your way down this corridor and on the left you can get some OJ, PJ, whatever you like dawg. Just holla if you need me. The black guy gives us a look that says dafuq just happened and walks away. The white guy then resumes talking to me in his regular American accent like nothing happened.

[–]LongRod_VanHugendong 0 points1 point ago

Paper beats rock, bitch!

[–]FlaviaTitus 0 points1 point ago

I usually do the opposite. If a person of any race is talking ebonics or jive or LOLspeak or whatever, I try to speak as articulately and properly as possible. It shows the person how fucking stupid they sound, and also serves to assert that I am not "down."

[–]YoureMyBoyBloo 0 points1 point ago

This happens to me, like every day.

Sometimes it is really hard being white.

[–]sebzim4500 -1 points0 points ago

Worth it to not be searched every five steps you take.

[–]seltzerislife -1 points0 points ago

So many social awkward redditors out there....

[–]Beaner_schnitzel -1 points0 points ago

Racist Edit: didn't think I had to put LOL at the end but, I guess so

[–]Dag-nabbit -2 points-1 points ago

Because Hockey.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

There will never be a logical appeal to acting "black."

Ever.

Or maybe someone could try to explain it?

[–]tacoyum6 -2 points-1 points ago

I'm white and I fully condone the punching of people who pretend to be black.