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1358

How I feel at "fancy" parties (memearchive.net)

submitted ago by moogoesthecat

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[–]Lottanubs 37 points38 points ago

But taking your pants off afterwards is the best feeling ever.

[–]moogoesthecat[S] 13 points14 points ago

Oh hell yes. It's almost better than stepping into a pool on hot day.

[–]illmatic707 7 points8 points ago

Or taking off your snowboard boots.

[–]MonitorMan 6 points7 points ago

or shitting

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

or getting your decapitation technique just right that the blade isn't dulled so you don't have to sharpen your machete before your next victim. Good times.

[–]DrQuota 1 point2 points ago

Its been 2 hours and nobody has made a comment about what a beat feeling is like...Reddit I'm perplexed.

[–]muffinmonk 1 point2 points ago

That's because redditors don't do much other than sit on their asses all day, reading reddit.

[–]Weezyfb 0 points1 point ago

You know it

[–]DoctorLazertron 28 points29 points ago

I like looking snazzy.

[–]Not_a_communist 11 points12 points ago

Honestly the best parties I've been to are the ones where I arrive looking dressy as fuck, then wake up ashamed at what I did drunk while looking so classy.

[–]mickey_kneecaps 7 points8 points ago

Maybe you just need clothes that actually fit? I used to hate suits, until I realized that the problem was the off-the-rack garbage I was wearing, which could never fit me (too tall and thin, apparently clothing designers believe that all tall people are fat). Get a fitted suit, you'll soon realize it is the most comfortable clothing you own, and you look awesome in it too.

[–]whiskey_soaked 1 point2 points ago

THIS. As a 6'5", very thin gentleman, I know how you feel. Fitted clothing is ten times better.

[–]SharpieReactGum 1 point2 points ago

Or some people just don't like fancy/formal/etc wear.

[–]singularlydatarific 15 points16 points ago

"Kill me." "Laterrr!"

[–]duckedtapedemon 5 points6 points ago

But I like dressing up! Guess I should turn in my reddit membership.

[–]BioSim00 4 points5 points ago

No, just head over to /r/malesfashionadvice.

[–]KodyPalmer 0 points1 point ago

http://i.imgur.com/BxGzk.gif

[–]tacojohn48 7 points8 points ago

What's really funny is that fancy food kinda sucks. I'd much rather have some BBQ.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

Your peasant DNA is showing

[–]7ypo 3 points4 points ago

Fancy BBQ?

[–]tacojohn48 7 points8 points ago

No, good BBQ comes from hole in the wall places that you'd think the health department would have shut down. Good BBQ is not fancy.

[–]OCELLARIS_CLOWNING 4 points5 points ago

Yep... there was one near where I used to live that would give you your food in a take out container with plastic forks for the beans/coleslaw. They had an A frame sign that said "ribs so tenduh you don't need no teef."

The guy behind the window would say "have a blessed day, sir" after he handed you the food. He could've come close to converting me with his barbecue alone.

Let me say that I hate barbecue... but this stuff was incredible.

[–]llezo 5 points6 points ago

Remind me of this

[–]splorng 5 points6 points ago

It's ok; I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.

[–]TheInternetHivemind 1 point2 points ago

As long as you're up...mind mowing my lawn?

[–]Ebtn -1 points0 points ago

If that scared you I'll pray that the rest of the internet doesn't kill you.

[–]FaultlineXR 4 points5 points ago

But hey, at least there was a bowl of olives by the toilet, right?

[–]riskyplissken 3 points4 points ago

How I feel at elegant dinner parties

[–]mathematical 1 point2 points ago

I have that exact same sweater. I think it looks better on the dog though...

[–]Naisallat 1 point2 points ago

"Big brother..."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

you mean when your mom drags you out to visit cousins lolol

[–]Spooge_mc_goo 3 points4 points ago

Whose the feller reaching into that girls pocket?

[–]AlarmingStatue 1 point2 points ago

However this dog will be getting all the bitches.

[–]itlnstln 1 point2 points ago

There are good fancy parties and bad ones.

I consider the garden style ones with croquet and yummy finger food to be enjoyable.

I also enjoy just having a civil intelligent conversation in a quiet room as opposed to screaming so my half drunk friends can hear me over the shitty music.

[–]my_tactless_opinion 3 points4 points ago

I consider the garden style ones with croquet and yummy finger food to be enjoyable.

I'm going to start saying this when ever I want people to dislike me.

[–]itlnstln 0 points1 point ago

You've never been to a Canterlot garden party before!

[–]pl4yswithsquirrels 0 points1 point ago

This looks like a poorly thought out Weekend at Bernie's: Air Bud Edition.

Like if you were house sitting for a friend and the dog died on your watch. So, you thought somehow you'd play it off like the dog wasn't dead by dressing him up to look lively. Then you're friend comes home to find you dressed up his newly dead dog.

[–]onedarkhorsee 0 points1 point ago

What i would give to look as classy as that dog and go to a fancy party! Long nose for the win....

[–]Jesus_luvs_Jenkem 0 points1 point ago

I like pretending to be fancy from time to time. It's important to celebrate life with fancy things. Like fancy McDonalds ketchup.

[–]Phil_Bond 0 points1 point ago

You've got a bowl of olives next to the toilet?

[–]Nightmathzombie 0 points1 point ago

Amen.

[–]LaserZeppelin 0 points1 point ago

that font is killing me

[–]KillerSquid 0 points1 point ago

KILL ME!http://i.imgur.com/hBSrd.jpg

[–]juicepants 0 points1 point ago

Unfathomable sadness.

[–]LeDrVelociraptor 0 points1 point ago

Classy like a motherfucker.

[–]never_ending 0 points1 point ago

I have that jumper in black. You can wear it to work or social events.

[–]Hekki27 0 points1 point ago

poor poor dog

[–]Chris_Dusty 0 points1 point ago

I remember my first fancy party. They handed me a glass of Champagne and i said "Do you not have any beer instead".

The look of horror i was given i will never forget

[–]Dawn_Of_The_Dave 0 points1 point ago

HEY EVERYONE! THIS GUY GETS INVITED TO FANCY PARTIES!!

[–]cheerioz 0 points1 point ago

As someone going to a wedding this Saturday that I am absolutely DREADING, this is how I will feel.

[–]XtremeRobi 0 points1 point ago

that's how I feel every time I have to hang out with 'friends'

[–]I_talk_about_stuff 0 points1 point ago

Another dog not very fond of parties.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHzyh6BFM5M&feature=plcp#t=2m00s

[–]iLm902 0 points1 point ago

I usually wear hoodies. Imagine how i felt going to a military ball in a full ball dress.

[–]MaximsDecimsMeridius 0 points1 point ago

all the parading and acting...

[–]spacebrony 0 points1 point ago

Is that the girl who plays Erin on The Office?

Her sketches are always hilarious.

[–]Phil_Bond -1 points0 points ago

Sitcoms don't have sketches, they have scenes.

[–]spacebrony 0 points1 point ago

Erin used to be in a comedy sketch group. Which did sketches.

:P

[–]Phil_Bond 0 points1 point ago

Nice try.

[–]spacebrony 0 points1 point ago

No, really, she did.

Here's one such sketch, which made her famous.

Also, at least take a look at her wiki page before claiming to know something that you don't.

So, uh, yeah.... Nice try :P

[–]Phil_Bond 0 points1 point ago

Ellie Kemper did sketch comedy, but you referred to The Office, and the fictional character "Erin." You were clearly misapplying the word "sketch" in that context. Then, realizing your mistake, you re-read your own words from your newly educated perspective, decided that they still formed a sentence that made sense, and proceeded to defend yourself from your newly invented fictional original position. Nice try, but your original error shows through in the subtext.

And for your next trick, you think I'm calling you a liar for saying Kemper did sketch work? Something that even if I wasn't aware of it, I could have easily googled before publicly calling you out on it?

This is where the traditional narrative flow of a character assassination demands I draw some insightful and specific conclusion about what exactly is the problem with you, but I don't know. I think you're just a dummy.

[–]spacebrony 0 points1 point ago

Oooh, I see what's going on here.

You were on Reddit, hunting down people who make silly mistakes (like using "their" instead of "they're," or calling Cars a good Pixar movie). You found one! It was someone who thought that Ellie Kemper did sketch comedy. WRONG! She was in The Office, a mockumenatry tv show! You drop a knowledge bomb on the fool, smiting him with your superior intelligence. You hope he responds so that you can drop an enormous, pedantic message on him, displaying your mighty intelligence through phrases such as "invented fictional original position."

So you say,

Nice try.

The bait has been cast! Now we wait...

Hold on... what's this? Lol, he's actually trying to defend his position! What are these blue links... wait... is this proof? Holy shit was he correct?

Holy shit! Now I look stupid... come on, you got this, find a flaw in his comments somewhere... OH SHIT! Look! He referred to Ellie using her character name of Erin instead! Target locked, bitches! I can still save this!

Ok ok ok, what do I do? I need to compensate for my mistake by writing a comment that makes him look SO STUPID that he will abandon the internet forever.

I mean, I COULD just let it be... it was just a dumb mistake on my part... I could, like, go cool down and make some coffee, or something...

Wait. What the hell am I saying? My internet reputation is at stake! Wontstoptalking made me seem foolish by proving me wrong!

Ok, I can do this. This is it. You got this. Let's see, let's take his slight mistake and magnify it, then fictionalize what actually happened, maybe throw in some big words to show off my 27 ACT score, add in a bit at the end about how this is wasting my time, aaaaand.... DONE!

That'll show you, wontstoptalking!

[–]Phil_Bond 0 points1 point ago

You think that people who notice errors are on active patrol for them, and that we enjoy spotting them. That's a common mistake among the mistake-prone. It's a paranoid persecution complex type of a thing, trying to fit yourself as the good guy and the people who irritate you as bad guys into some kind of heroic movie narrative. In the real world: everybody wants to be a hero, and nobody wants to be the bad guy. When someone gives you a little correction, they're not hoping to fight you, they're trying to be helpful. Take it like a man.

[–]dannylazer08 -1 points0 points ago

hahahahha

[–]Romanav -2 points-1 points ago

I enjoyed this picture, and can relate to it. Thanks!

[–]irradiated_sailor -1 points0 points ago

Going to a fancy, fundraiser golf outing that I offered to volunteer to help run today. Completely out of my god damn element in this polo.

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