this post was submitted on
2,177 points (53% like it)
16,799 up votes 14,622 down votes

pics

subscribe2,552,363 readers

5,326 users here now

Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

A place to share interesting photographs and pictures. Feel free to post your own, but please read the rules first (see below), and note that we are not a catch-all for general images (of screenshots, comics, etc.)

Spoiler code

Please mark spoilers like this:
[text here](/spoiler)

Hover over to read.

Rules

  1. No screenshots, or pictures with added or superimposed text. This includes image macros, comics, info-graphics and most diagrams. Text (e.g. a URL) serving to credit the original author is exempt.

  2. No gore or porn. NSFW content must be tagged.

  3. No personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder. Stalking & harassment will not be tolerated.

  4. No solicitation of votes (including "cake day" posts), posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor, or [FIXED] posts. DAE posts go in /r/DoesAnybodyElse. "Fixed" posts should be added as a comment to the original image.

  5. Submissions must link directly to a specific image file or to an image hosting website with minimal ads. We do not allow blog hosting of images ("blogspam"), but links to albums on image hosting websites are okay. URL shorteners are prohibited.

  • If your submission appears to be filtered but definitely meets the above rules, please send us a message with a link to the comments section of your post (not a direct link to the image). Don't delete it as that just makes the filter hate you!

  • If you come across any rule violations, please report the submission or message the mods and one of us will remove it!

Please also try to come up with original post titles. Submissions that use certain clichés/memes will be automatically tagged with a warning.

Links

If your post doesn't meet the above rules, consider submitting it on one of these other subreddits:

Comics  
/r/comics /r/webcomics
/r/vertical /r/f7u12
/r/ragenovels /r/AdviceAtheists
Image macros Screenshots/text
/r/lolcats /r/screenshots
/r/AdviceAnimals /r/desktops
/r/Demotivational /r/facepalm (Facebook)
/r/reactiongifs /r/DesktopDetective
Wallpaper Animals
/r/wallpaper /r/aww
/r/wallpapers /r/cats
The SFWPorn Network /r/TrollingAnimals
  /r/deadpets
  /r/birdpics
  /r/foxes
Photography Un-moderated pics
/r/photography /r/AnythingGoesPics
/r/photocritique /r/images
/r/HDR
/r/windowshots
/r/PictureChallenge
Misc New reddits
/r/misc /r/britpics
/r/gifs Imaginary Network
/r/dataisbeautiful /r/thennnow
/r/picrequests /r/SpecArt
/r/LookWhoIMet
  /r/timelinecovers
  /r/MemesIRL
  /r/OldSchoolCool
  /r/photoshopbattles
  /r/PastAndPresentPics .

Also check out http://irc.reddit.com

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]jam_sandwich123[S] 984 points985 points ago

UPDATE: After a long a cold hour the mole won, round two will be coming shortly.

[–]Guest_Acct 549 points550 points ago

Everyone I know who has mole problems just puts out open jugs with Strawberry Bubble Yum inside. The moles apparently love it and it apparently kills them.

Edit: It's Strawberry Juicy Fruit. I wasn't thinking clearly. I confirmed it with my dad.

[–]OCELLARIS_CLOWNING 1058 points1059 points ago

Nice try, mole capable of intelligent thinking.

[–]Phikeia 977 points978 points ago

And give em handjobs too! They hate handjobs

edit: my most popular comment on reddit... handjobs to moles

[–]the_real_woody 209 points210 points ago

I knew that mole costume would come in handy some day

[–]Dstanding 176 points177 points ago

come in handy

handy

Hehehe.

[–]meresimpleton 29 points30 points ago

How does someone pointing out a joke get more upvotes than the person actually writing the joke.

[–]Gilsworth 9 points10 points ago

Remembering it was better than experiencing it.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

Come. In. Handy.

Ha!

[–]Flatpancakes 259 points260 points ago

This kills the mole.

[–]theknightwhosays_nee 209 points210 points ago

If ya havin mole problems I feel bad for ya son. I got 99 problems but a ditch ain't one.

[–]theknightwhosays_ni 128 points129 points ago

AN URGENT MESSAGE IN THE NAME OF THE KING

This man...is a fraud! Notice how he mispells the name of our unconquered land! I, sir, challenge you to a dual!

[–]azon85 66 points67 points ago

duel

FTFY

[–]HobbytheWise 31 points32 points ago

maybe he meant dual duels?

[–]azon85 29 points30 points ago

How would that work? Charge at each other with both parties dual wielding herrings?

[–]HebrewHammer16 8 points9 points ago

"dual"

Not sure if meta-joke or misspelling.

[–]theknightwhosays_nee 38 points39 points ago

Nee!

[–]theknightwhosays_ni 55 points56 points ago

Ni!

[–]copyandpasta 18 points19 points ago

He's got you by about 8 months

and 32,000 comment karma

But hey, google agrees with you! O.o

[–]theknightwhosays_nee 9 points10 points ago

Nee!!

[–]joeryanisaocelot 12 points13 points ago

AN URGENT MESSAGE IN THE NAME OF THE KING

This man is a fraud! Notice how he mispells 'duel'.

[–]Tactful 14 points15 points ago

Yo, this is allotment rap

hardcore niggaz shotting crops like brraap

and that's a straight wrap, learnin' these straight facts

exterminating vermin like a whack-a-whack-a-whack

I said "Lord I have a dream,

that one this steez will be clean

from all of these obscene

monstrosities, so lord would you please

let these shots fly true just say I'm smoking these weeds,

and let me tell you brother, another undercover

agent getting covered by your brother and your mother

this is shift work, eyes on the dirt

blind-young thing is about to get hurt,

dog about to chop shop like hong kong fuey;

more dead moles than Banjo-Kazooie.

[–]WhyNotBarbershop 37 points38 points ago

[–]SecondGuy 4 points5 points ago

May the people who are downvoting you rot in the fiery pits of hell.

[–]Flatpancakes 3 points4 points ago

Oh god, I love you. ~internet brofist~

[–]1gnominious 1 point2 points ago

All your hard work, well thought out discussions, and innermost secrets are worth less than a one liner about giving a mole a handy.

[–]jam_sandwich123[S] 116 points117 points ago

Thanks i will till him!

[–]Futhermucker 265 points266 points ago

Your dad, not the field

[–]LettersFromTheSky 41 points42 points ago

You actually may want to till the field rather than Dad.

[–]Grand_Theft_Audio 53 points54 points ago

.....you will till him? Agrarian humor at its finest.

[–]lukefwjross 9 points10 points ago

I'd only charge him $4.95 for that info though

[–]john-swagger 46 points47 points ago

Just divide by 6.02x1023

[–]stuhfoo 60 points61 points ago

is that the avocado number?

[–]gabozanchi 14 points15 points ago

not sure if typo or intentional...

[–]xFootballCrazy 11 points12 points ago

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

[–]blueboxbandit 6 points7 points ago

My grandma used to do the same thing with juicy fruit

[–]Kursum 1 point2 points ago

Apparently.

[–]EroSennin78 1 point2 points ago

Are you trying to catch moles or little kids? Are your "friends" cellmates?

[–]phoenixreborn90 1 point2 points ago

Google is telling me that is just a hoax. :( If only it worked.

[–]biggbuckz 140 points141 points ago

Story time! My grandparents had a very similar set up (large field with a small garden to the side... replace the fence with barbed wire. She learned that when she was on the tractor, the stupid mole wouldn't scurry away. If she walked anywhere near it, it would run back into its hole. So one day she has to mow the field on the tractor, but this time she takes a shotgun with her. She see's the mole come out, drives the tractor close enough to get a shot, and killed that little bastard. The best part is that she was worried that if she stopped the tractor, the mole would pay more attention and maybe run away, so she shot it while the tractor was moving, thus earning bonus points.

[–]TrouserPudding 33 points34 points ago

Your grandmother was a proper farm woman.

[–]Sonorama21 17 points18 points ago

Drive-by. That's gangster.

[–]biggbuckz 6 points7 points ago

She was a very interesting woman.

[–]craptastico 2 points3 points ago

Your grandmother is awesome.

[–]TrollocAdvice 162 points163 points ago

The mole has the right to kill him

[–]trickiwoo 71 points72 points ago

Crocs are really good for gardening. I have a pair that are my 'lawn mowing shoes' because they get all covered with grass and mud. The crocs just hose right off.

[–]TheForgottenPW 69 points70 points ago

I don't get the hate for crocs when used in such environment. Ugly or not, they have a niche they can fill.

[–]MsPrynne 36 points37 points ago

I don't get croc hate period. I get that everyone has a different fashion sense, but what's the point of getting that upset about what someone else is wearing?

[–]goblueM 6 points7 points ago

I don't give a shit about their fashion... they are awesome shoes for a lot of outdoor applications. Gardening, fishing, kayaking. Don't accrue smells, easy to clean, lightweight, comfortable, etc

[–]honeyandvinegar 8 points9 points ago

I thought you're always supposed to wear close toed shoes for lawn mowing?

[–]tcpip4lyfe 12 points13 points ago

Depends on how big of a sissy you are. I usually just rely on not putting my foot under the business end.

[–]Probably-Lying 2 points3 points ago

I think a lot of the issue isnt that youll stick your foot into the blade so much as you risk a rock or stick being kicked out by the blade moving at roughly a million miles an hour propelling it into your vunerable toesises

[–]Cheese_Bits 5 points6 points ago

Realistically whats a closed toe shoe going to do if you run over it with a lawn mower? Just multicolored confetti raining on your stump.

[–]trickiwoo 11 points12 points ago

They are closed toe.

[–]wayno007 14 points15 points ago

Wearing crocs is like receiving oral sex from a dude. It feels great, but when you look down, you realize you're gay.

[–]phoenixreborn90 4 points5 points ago

I know A LOT of gay people. 0% of them would wear crocs.

[–]snakesandstuff 150 points151 points ago

One hour? That is a short round of mole watching. The trick is having two shovels and placing one BEHIND the mole in the tunnel when it starts moving, as they like to crawl backwards. Once you have the path blocked you come from in front of the mole and dig it out, then smash it to death.

TL;DR Mole hunting is not as much fun as MILF hunting.

[–]TheLivinDead 72 points73 points ago

MILF hunting would be easier with a shovel.

[–]snakesandstuff 28 points29 points ago

Easier with a shovel? Who doesn't use a shovel?

[–]TrollocAdvice 32 points33 points ago

A shovel ruin's the sport of it, that's why i only use a spading fork

[–]Tactful 4 points5 points ago

An emotional shovel, that digs a grave of shared experience, and batters open the skull of misplaced emotion so the clotted liquid of love can pour all over the floor of sexual empathy and compassion.

I should really stop jerking off to episodes of Law & Order.

[–]MauiWowieOwie 11 points12 points ago

Is this the prequel to Caddyshack?

[–]Laughing_man 26 points27 points ago

Put some of this kind of gum in its holes, it wont be alive for long.

[–]happenings 21 points22 points ago

just have em watch these

[–]acourtem 36 points37 points ago

This is also quite effective...

[–]GraspinglySilver 5 points6 points ago

What happened to this show? I used to love it...

[–]BCBUDDHA 61 points62 points ago

I've heard THIS is also effective

[–]fiftydays 26 points27 points ago

C'mon guy! There are other animals who want to eat that mole. You poison it and you poison the food chain.

The solution is to trap it with a kill trap then leave it out for the hawks.

[–]Jisaw 98 points99 points ago

Impale it on a spike as a warning to the other moles.

[–]lebruf 52 points53 points ago

No Theon, you insolent twat

[–]soul_power 15 points16 points ago

Poison the mole, then leave him out for the shithawks. Get two birds stoned at once!

[–]electricheat 19 points20 points ago

We're not trying to kill the hawks, Ricky.

[–]emanpa68 12 points13 points ago

Shut up Bubbles... Julian, help me out here.

[–]mesablue 7 points8 points ago

A shit leopard could take care of that mole.

[–]emosgood 3 points4 points ago

I told you Ricky. I'm done playing your games. I have a real chance this time to go legit. Oh great here comes Lahey

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

I hear This is equally as effective

[–]BoomSaw 37 points38 points ago

That feel when the image title tells the story before Photobucket can even load the image.

[–]undercoveruser 10 points11 points ago

[–]Semajal 6 points7 points ago

I am guessing this is England? it sure as hell looks like England. Up North somewhere? (I am south of London so pretty much everything is considered "up north")

[–]MonkeysDontEvolve 3 points4 points ago

I looked at this picture and saw New England. Most of America is rural and looks just like this.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

Am waiting for the update. Please come back to us, OP, when you have one.

[–]jam_sandwich123[S] 12 points13 points ago

Dont worry, i will keep everyone posted on the up coming events.

[–]I_Am_The_Mole 14 points15 points ago

It's only fair that they get updates from both sides :-/

[–]trichomaniac 1 point2 points ago

Better hope he doesn't miss, otherwise you'll be having chicken for dinner.

[–]A_Blind_Pilot 1 point2 points ago

ROUND TWO, FIGHT!

[–]Onlinealias 1 point2 points ago

I so need to do this in my yard. I wish your father all the luck. I've been thinking about going Carl the Greenskeeper on my place.

[–]SleepyBrain 1 point2 points ago

If he gets him, I expect an update like this

[–]xrmb 1 point2 points ago

Even harder to kill than a mole is a vole!. Here my epic 2hr battle tools and kill and the victim

What I learned from this first kill was: start watching around 7-8pm, flatten all tunnels, come back to see what was "repaired", wait a minute for movement, start pick-axing the shit out of it.

And nothing else kills a vole, no poison, no trap... I tried it all!

[–]xrmb 1 point2 points ago

Sorry, its German, illegal, but works ;)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5hLM8L5H20s

[–]chadillac83 1 point2 points ago

As a person who spent time on a farm, used a water hose and BB gun as a kid to get money out of my father for killing these guys we ended up getting some of these... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k4KVEJApZk) they were great, a water hose, dog, and BB gun were much better, but sometimes they worked...

btw, if you're an animal lover DO NOT LOOK AT THIS THING.

[–]alexa5993 1 point2 points ago

We have a problem with moles in my house and my dad has tried everything to get rid of them. And by everything I mean setting the holes on fire, flooding them, poisoning the moles, gassing the moles, driving electrified metal daggers into the paths to shock the moles... everything. We still have them. He likes to call himself the "unsuccessful Hitler of the moles." I'll tell him to try the shotgun method next.

[–]thekilljoy 146 points147 points ago

My cousin-in-law had a complete breakdown of rationality because of a mole. They were rehabbing the backyard in the first place (redoing the pool, tearing everything up to replant/re-cement) when he started noticing gopher/mole trails and holes cropping up in the midst of his work.

This, this would not do. So he started like your fine father: traps and such. Wily bastards did not fall for such simple attempts on their lives.

So one day, midst a family party, a few beers in he and his father-in-law (my uncle), my father, and a couple other guys of the "cousins" generation as our family calls us decided that there was simply no other option left.

The yard had to be flooded.

Fast forwarded a few hours and the backyard has been reduced to a mud/marsh wasteland, with a number of grown ass men (physically, anyways) slowly picking their way around, swinging baseball bats at any air bubbles they spy.

What no one was expecting was success. However, they killed 3 of the offending animals with this method.

And it nearly killed him too when that water bill arrived. (California drought rates.)

I hope your dad tags his enemy without necessitating swamp or ark construction.

[–]tehaleks 15 points16 points ago

I was at a bar a few months ago, sitting out on the patio smoking with a beer... some guy was out there on his cell phone going ON and ON about the moles in his yard. "You know what I call the mole hills? Fuckin' MOLE-CANOES! MOLE-CANOES, I SAY! They're all over! Ruining my perfect grass!"

This conversation and littering of "MOLE-CANOES" went on for about 20 minutes. We have moles in our yard, so now we call them mole-canoes, too... but you'll never hear me drunkenly wailing about them at a bar.

TLDR: I probably heard your cousin-in-law on his last strike, trying to drown his mole sorrows at the bar.

Edit: BTW, one of my gardening-blog friends used gasoline, poured a bunch of it down the hole and light it on fire. Said it worked. Um... take that with a grain of salt, probably keep a hose handy.

[–]thekilljoy 8 points9 points ago

Sounds like someone else like my cousin at least; this happened about a decade ago now!

The fire option crossed everyone's mind. First for the moles/gophers, than for the gloating drunks with their bat-beaten trophies.

(If you live in an area that allows burning, you can just do the midwestern autumnal yard burn and cook the fuckers. Lots of people where I now live - the midwest - torch their grass before the first freeze, instant fertilizer for the reseeding after the thaw!)

[–]tehaleks 4 points5 points ago

I'm not desperate enough yet to use the flamethrower, but we're renovating our front lawn this autumn and I may be after we spend a ton of money to put down new pavers and whatnot in the front only to have the mole return and fuck all our shit up.

One of the feral cats already left a dead one in my back yard a few weeks ago. Moles are BIG! I thought they'd be about the size of a mouse, but it was more than a handful.

We also have a few snakes that I allow to live, with the understanding that they'll take care of the mice and whatnot for me... but they're not doing a very good job.

[–]oer6000 1 point2 points ago

Is your cousin-in-law Dick Dastardly?

[–]Zoethor2 1 point2 points ago

My dad threw down with some groundhogs that were eating his morning glories a few years back. He went through a similar set of escalating tactics - smoking them out, lighting black powder in the entrance holes, traps - eventually topping them all with an attempt to flood them out that drained our well.

No moles died that summer or any summer afterward, though my mother and I caught one of the mole-babies out in the open once and thought it was pretty cute, if a bit hostile.

[–]DLXII 170 points171 points ago

Your dad is all like http://i.imgur.com/Fj9iy.gif

But, I wish him luck!

[–]red321red321 119 points120 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Anahamkarah 7 points8 points ago

This picture is amazing.

[–]jam_sandwich123[S] 47 points48 points ago

It was an hour of sitting like that before he came in, 3 mole traps and about 2 months of holes in the garden he has resorted to the 12 bore.

[–]OSU_BeaverBeliever 93 points94 points ago

I was mowing my lawn once... it should be noted I was in a really foul mood during this particular mow... and while changing the bag, I noticed some movement in the ground. I found a little hole, about 2 inches wide, and what appeared to be something furry shifting around (I could only see fur, but it appeared to be burrowing). I quickly and quietly ran to my shed to grab a pitchfork. One well-aimed and forceful puncture shot straight down later, I had my very own impaled, slowly-dying mole. Mind you, this little twat had been devastating our lawn for months, and had as yet evaded all of our more humane tactics to catch it. I went from having a pissy afternoon to feeling like I had achieved all that I needed to in my life. The primal satisfaction I experienced that day is something I'll never forget. Good luck to your old man - tell him it's so worth the wait!

[–]willymo 67 points68 points ago

I'm calling you out. I believe your anti-mole campaign actually involves a twisted pro-beaver agenda.

[–]OSU_BeaverBeliever 28 points29 points ago

And here I thought I'd get called out for the sentence "I found a little hole, about 2 inches wide, and what appeared to be something furry shifting around". Well done, chap... well done.

[–]Saul_Firehand 7 points8 points ago

I am shocked that more than 10 minutes passed with no one making a funny from your sentence there.

[–]2yrnx1lc2zkp77kp 17 points18 points ago

i think we're all pretty pro beaver around here...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Oh I don't know about moles but I'm definitely pro-beaver.

[–]penis-butter 1 point2 points ago

One day standing outside of school waiting to go to football practice. Me and a friend, let's call him Casey since that is his name, we see a ground squirrel down a hill and about 40 yards away. Casey says, "Check this shit out man." and chucks a rock the entire distance and nails the ground squirrel in the head and killed the little fucker. The principal kinda had a bounty for the squirrels so Casey was promptly rewarded with a giant bag of m&m's.

[–]Badgerness 6 points7 points ago

Cloon.......

.....ey

[–]TheDigitalOne 43 points44 points ago

ProTip: go to the local garden shop and buy a weed burner attachment for your propane tank (the type used on most backyard BBQs) They run about $20 or so, like this one: http://www.harborfreight.com/propane-torch-91033.html

Find a recent mole hole, carefully dig out the dirt exposing the tunnels below. Stick the week burner unlit in the hole and let it flow at max volume for a minute or two... step back from the hole, light the weed burner and then point it at the mole hole.

If you've properly loaded the tunnels with propane you will get a very satisfying WHOOOMP and every single pile of dirt in the yard will jump about 1-2 feet into the air. The mole(s) will not survive the event.

Hint: Do not do this if it is very dry where you live, I've had small grass fires start well over 100' away from the ignition point.

[–]ulmerster 18 points19 points ago

That is awesome, dangerous, but awesome.

[–]pathogen47 6 points7 points ago

This sounds so awesome, I went and found a video of just such an event. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=6O31Mno7zW8#t=69s

And another from the same people that didn't quite go as planned. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=PPFnfVtgbG8#t=23s

[–]PlNG 4 points5 points ago

Yup. Parents once bought a pack of those commercial mole bombs, but were fed up with the ineffectiveness of the weak smoke, long treatment time and cost. Story time:

House is on top of a hill, and the things were burrowing around.

Dad got the propane and kerosene.

Doused the holes with kero before spraying propane inside.

Sticks a bomb inside each and stuffs holes with rags.

Sets some fuses so they'll go off simultaneously.

On standby with the hose in case of fires.

Dad lights them and gets on the hill.

WHUMP.

Hill rises about a foot into the air, knocks us all off our feet.

Grandma, inside the house, starts screaming that weird way that deaf people scream.

Turkeys start squabbling and flying out of the trees.

Neighbor one fifth of a mile away startled out of nap.

Deer look up briefly, then continue giving no fucks.

Mom runs for grandma.

Holes have ignited and I am ready with the hose.

except no pressure.

Panic ensues because house is next to forest.

Dad runs into house and gets hand sprayer, fills it, hands it to me, and goes back to troubleshoot the pressure.

Mom starts lobbing pots of water out the window keeping the fire away from the house.

I'm spraying preventatively and upwind because the hand sprayer is manual pump and typically used for poison.

OFC the chaotic winds around the house blows some "water" back and I breathe it.

Parents tell me I went down mid fire-fighting and dad got the pressure up and put the fire out.

Meanwhile I'm tripping balls with the worst nightmare of my life. The fire continues to grow, the hand sprayer's efficiency rapidly decays to the point of uselessness and breaking. Fire somehow leaves me alone and goes for the house. I'm running over an endless patio as the house goes up in flames and parents are burning in the yard. I pass out in mid-tripmare.

Post mortem of the great hill fire of '95:

House was rocked on its foundation, caused a serious crack. Patio stones were singed black, but color returned after the typical 4 inches/hour rain a few weeks later. House safe, moles dead. Weeds & Grass gave no fucks and returned to mowing height within a month.

On topic with the thread, my father is more or less exactly like this when it comes to him vs the Muskrat families that continually move into our pond. We seem to get new tenants every other year.

[–]Guilty_Pleasure 2 points3 points ago

Now I want moles in my yard...

[–]EatSleepJeep 1 point2 points ago

This is so crazy, it. just. might. work.

[–]FallopianRaider 1 point2 points ago

My dad and I used to walk around to every hole and place a number of lit firecrackers in the base and put our boots over the top. They would make a dull 'BOOM' and create an underground crater of smashed mole tunnels. We would do this simultaneously and slowly work our way across the lawn thinking that the explosions would push them across to the other holes. We had 4 jack russels which we sat at the last few holes that would check for them as the came up through the ground. We only ever caught two with the dogs. Sometimes the explosions would do it if the moles were close enough. A messy...messy business.

[–]frelvis 48 points49 points ago

I had a mole problem once. A day after installing a new sod, the grass had sunken at a few places. I removed the sod to check what was going on: mole tunnels! The little bastard was eating the numerous earthworms that were congregating below the new sod, because of the frequent watering.

The next day was much worse. Tunnels were now everywhere and the drying grass was starting to die. It was clear that in a few days, the mole would ruin my new suburban pride. I had to do something, but what? There was no time to install baits or traps. I had to stop it now.

So I started to remove sod rolls and follow the tunnels. After 15-20 minutes, I had removed dozens of rolls and my neighbor had stopped doing his business to wonder wtf I was doing.

Then, when I removed what must have been the 100th roll, there it was! The ugly little mole and I were both very surprised to see each other and nobody was moving. In a flash, I thought I had to act very fast, otherwise the mole might escape and I would blow what could be my only chance to catch it. However, I had nothing to hit it with and I was not positioned to crush it with my foot. So I hit the bastard as hard as I could with my bare fist and that was it.

I'm a badass.

[–]bobstay 2 points3 points ago

You are now tagged as "Punched Mole to Death"

[–]TheHill22 1 point2 points ago

This is amazing! Well done!

[–]thomasbeagle 1 point2 points ago

You should get a belt: One At A Blow

[–]Obieousmaximus 1 point2 points ago

I just cracked up reading this and picturing you punching a mole to death.

[–]gloomdoom 99 points100 points ago

I upvote with the understanding that 'Round Two' will be posted soon.

[–]Jonny_Stranger 27 points28 points ago

I don't know what round two will be, but round three will involve these bad boys.

[–]Decalis 14 points15 points ago

Round Six will of course be conducted in the postnuclear wasteland left by Round Five.

[–]Mother_Fraker 118 points119 points ago

[–]oer6000 14 points15 points ago

and a new macro was born.

[–]Luxlovestrip 50 points51 points ago

My Great Grandmother used to do something quite similar. Except she would sit in a rocking chair on her porch with her shotgun and shoot at rabbits, snakes and birds. Apparently she was a crack shot and when she killed them, she collected their bodies and made pies. This was in Australia many, many years ago. She was hardcore.

[–]OberonDark 22 points23 points ago

Australia.

[–]nilhilustfrederi 11 points12 points ago

Spider pie.

[–]Erik_1 1 point2 points ago

P...Pies?

[–]Sulamar 32 points33 points ago

After 5 minutes of watching.... not a gif

[–]homeless_man_jogging 4 points5 points ago

See now that's a funny comment. The rest of you need to try harder.

[–]TakeMyLast 1 point2 points ago

I did the same. Phone took longer than usual to load it so I figured it was a .gif.

[–]GeneralPlanet 43 points44 points ago

[–]likeahurricane 1 point2 points ago

License to kill moles by the government of the United Nations. Man, free to kill moles at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote

[–]spiffy_nobblet 28 points29 points ago

Someone mentions a mole, I immediately think of Jasper Carrott...

[–]evilCEO 3 points4 points ago

"There's only one way to get rid of a mole."

[–]Entropy72 1 point2 points ago

DM;KM. Upvote for the Carrot!

[–]Jaybaybaybay 1 point2 points ago

god that was so great.

[–]NoKWolf 1 point2 points ago

bloody noisy last night, mind you. want more mothballs?

[–]DJAshian 13 points14 points ago

No Caddyshack reference? Aww rats...

[–]Shitty_Watercolour 308 points309 points ago

[–]Tinkerboots 118 points119 points ago

Smashing

[–]I_live_in_a_trashcan 21 points22 points ago

[–]GearaldCeltaro 3 points4 points ago

What's the rates for trashcans these days?

[–]vsal 29 points30 points ago

[–]theskimaskway 6 points7 points ago

I still want that horse painting, dude. Get at me.

[–]Kijad 3 points4 points ago

I don't think that's a hammer in the photo......

[–]Chewbert 25 points26 points ago

Shitty_Watercolour is just trying to capture the essence of the photo. He's not a realist or anything.

[–]thehindteet 7 points8 points ago

He needs one of these: http://www.rodentblaster.com/

[–]sweeptheaorta 23 points24 points ago

Get that man a beer

[–]ben162005 15 points16 points ago

Or a bear. That would solve the mole problem, although it may cause other problems.

[–]kaptinkangaroo 14 points15 points ago

That's what I'm saying. You can't shoot a gun without having a least a little buzz.

[–]Findlesham 13 points14 points ago

"To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit - ever. They're like the Viet Cong - Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote."

[–]KoreanTerran 18 points19 points ago

You should consider joining him.

Make some memories.

[–]AngryBorscht 16 points17 points ago

[–]VikingBoatTruckBoat 7 points8 points ago

$99.95 + shipping

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Jisaw 7 points8 points ago

This is more fun.

[–]SlumLordJake 7 points8 points ago

Lol real shit, my dad did the same thing with a gopher. Always tells me about his great triumph from a few years before I was born. Except having lived in North Florida and it being summer, he had to sit under shade while combating his great nemesis.

He always goes into depth how he sat on his porch (the gopher was digging holes all over his front lawn) with a glass of iced tea and his rifle (a .22); thinking about how that gopher dug one hole too many, and pushed his luck on his lawn.

(imagine reading this in some kind of like Irish accent and I garuntee you will shit your pants from laughter [it's how he always did/does it]) "There I sat with my rifle, watching the great and mighty gopher burrowing his tunnel. He'd made his next hole to push out all his dirt, a good ten yards from my very spot. So I watched him, got a feel for his time and counted his pattern "one, two, three, pop" (pop symbolizes him pushing his head over the newly created mound) "one, two, three, pop". I steadied my rifle taking aim and counting as my focus grew narrower "one... two... three... CRACK!" the little head was thrown back from the impact, his little body slumped in his bloodied hole. I pushed over the mound with my foot, filling over his final hole. My nemesis killed; the day was done."

LONG STORY SHORT: My dad intensely shot a gopher, similar to the OP's.

[–]seriouslyyyy 5 points6 points ago

I suspect this ends with a self inflicted gun shot to the foot and an embarrassing trip to the hospital.

And then round 2.

[–]LittleBigKid2000 17 points18 points ago

A wild Drillbur appeared! Go Dadops! Dadops, use Gunshot! It's super effective! Wild Drillbur fainted!

[–]McShalepants 7 points8 points ago

Dadops, use Gunshot! It's super effective! Wild Drillbur fainted!

Yeah, "fainted"...

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

forever.

[–]plb49 6 points7 points ago

Victor mole trap, round two!

[–]captainfranklen 3 points4 points ago

My grandfather used to use those. They are effective. Brutally effective.

[–]nordpol 6 points7 points ago

looks like a vietnam-era boobytrap

[–]bambi-nw 5 points6 points ago

Where is this? It looks so pretty.

[–]behavedave 7 points8 points ago

That's Yorkshire in England

[–]v0ne 2 points3 points ago

Y'know. Dad isn't that busy these days...

[–]kaptinkangaroo 2 points3 points ago

Not since he was suspended from the police force..

[–]Plethorian 2 points3 points ago

The online novel K2 starts every book with an escalating war on garden moles. It's quite amusing.

[–]ilikemyteasweet 2 points3 points ago

PLEEEEASE! UPDATE!

EDIT: Not for the presumed mole carnage, but Rounds 2, 3, etc. I hope this ends up like Caddyshack.

[–]stubertmcfly 2 points3 points ago

I am rooting for the mole.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]somabrandmayonaise 5 points6 points ago

My grandfather did that with a rabbit that was eating my grandmother's garden. Apparently he blew the head right off. Oops.

[–]altoid2k4 10 points11 points ago

I hope he left the body there as a sign to the other rabbits.

[–]geargirl 6 points7 points ago

[–]basszack 3 points4 points ago

has anyone made a Caddyshack joke yet?

[–]stanfan114 1 point2 points ago

Keep an eye on dad just in case.

[–]spacedude86 1 point2 points ago

so i understand the difference between a mole & gopher, but when I saw this I immediately thought of this movie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3lYm0c7gYyU

[–]Silversuns 1 point2 points ago

Boggis and Bunce and Bean, one fat, one short, one lean, these horrible crooks so different in looks were nonetheless equally mean.

[–]pru_man 1 point2 points ago

I'll just leave this here.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Jeepers Creepers 2 reference.

[–]SgtSmokesAlot 1 point2 points ago

Camper

[–]tyler_gbred 1 point2 points ago

Oh my god, look at that grass. I would roll the fuck around in that all day.

[–]throwinshapes 1 point2 points ago

Take that man a beer.

[–]abigbear 1 point2 points ago

You should get a Brittany Spaniel for all of your pesky animal problems. We adopted ours last year. The day he was considered electric fence trained, he was let off of his leash to wreak havoc. Eight moles were killed in that faithful bloodbath of an hour. He dug em up, thrashed them around a bit, then rolled around in the carcasses of his vanquished foes. He also takes care of birds, woodchuck (we had a network of these criminals under our yard before we got tommy), deer, and just about anything else that moves. Of course, if the goal is to avoid having your yard torn up by a vicious beast, my killa-beast may not be your best option. I recommend smoking the little bastards out of their hives.

[–]infinex 1 point2 points ago

Whack a mole: extreme

[–]Jhoff57 1 point2 points ago

Put a chewed piece of Juicy Fruit gum in the entrance of the hole. The can't resist the smell and eat it. In the end they can't digest it and die.

[–]Myzeke 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who thinks about Al trying to get the rabbit in Married with Children?

[–]Mr_Mimiseku 1 point2 points ago

Where's Bill Murray when you need him?

[–]xfootballer814 1 point2 points ago

I used to have a dog that was the best at killing moles and other little critters. He'd dig the fuckers out of their holes, tear their insides out and leave them to die in the sun as a warning to others of their kind. After finding a few moles splayed out in our yard the bastards must have learned their lesson because they would dig their tunnels around our yard and refuse to enter it. Everyone else in the neighborhood could have moles but not us, our dog taught them not to fuck with his yard.

[–]bknowlton 1 point2 points ago

Dat Grass

[–]JolietJ 1 point2 points ago

The only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang.

[–]jersully 1 point2 points ago

Mole survivors: Death came wearing blue Crocs.

[–]molekiller 1 point2 points ago

I hunt them with patience and dedication. I have killed 6 (Out of 7 hunts.) so far this year. This is my method and I will use no other. 1. Find new activity. Check the color of the newly turned soil to see if it is fresh. Darker (more moisture) = fresh 2. Carefully tamp down all tunnels and mounds in the area. I do this with my foot and as quietly as possible. It is important to insure that when you come back (See number 3) you will not mistake something you did not tamp down for new activity. I also place a cinder block were I want to stand and wait for mole activity. 3. Go back every hour or so and check for new activity. When I find new activity I stand on the cinder block with my Model 66 Nylon Remington 22 caliber semi-automatic rifle in my hand. 4. When I see activity I hold the barrel of the gun about ten inches from the ground and pull the trigger until it goes click. (13 times) I have a Vietnam vet who lives next door and I often hear something crash and break inside his house during this step. 5. Dig out the dead mole and toss the carcass over the nearest fence for the buzzards feast upon. If you don’t have a dog you can leave it in the tunnel for the other furry little bastards to stumble upon mid dig. I like to think of one of them scurrying away in mortal terror after seeing the bullet riddle corpse of its father but I am sure that is just wishful thinking.

Things to note: One mole can dig over 300 feet of tunnels in one night. Moles are of course searching for grubs to eat and some people poison the grubs to get rid of the moles. (I consider this the coward’s way out.) I have often thought of using a 10x10 square of metal with spikes and a handle something like a multi row pitchfork to do the deed as well. Step off the block and slam it into the ground with a solid thunk and you hear the rodent squeal. Man that gives me a little rush just thinking about it. The Remington Nylon 66 is the best gun ever made and I will fight any mother fucker who says different.

I ain’t kidding here jack this method equals dead moles.