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top 200 commentsshow all 232

[–]Bacun 419 points420 points ago

Somewhere in the future, a psychologist smiled at his wallet.

[–]zeroes0 144 points145 points ago

Except that psychologist looked away from the angel at his wallet and is now dead.

[–]RockLobster89 67 points68 points ago

Not dead - transported in time.

[–]gotrees 45 points46 points ago

People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... timey wimey... stuff.

[–]agod2486 3 points4 points ago

Favorite quote and one of the reasons why David was my favorite Doctor :D

[–]zeroes0 15 points16 points ago

Unless they take your brain out to communicate.

[–]Gengar11 9 points10 points ago

Oh... How I love you reddit.

[–]timetravel_fanof 0 points1 point ago

I doubt that at that point of time time travel is commercially viable for a psychologist's pay grade - in the early 2000s, temporal flexibility is going to be available only to the upper class elite.

Unless he took advantage of the quantum experimentation that will come out of companies like D-Wave and such... something to be thinking about.

[–]FeraL_ 12 points13 points ago

Here's to you, for they want to reproduce. Employment in silence, by the marriage that our churn and drive the Class, very beginner himenaeos. Welcome to here and make up for it. More and more is the answer and here's to me. Time for you tomorrow. Read the rest was up to you you need any more. Or more before the course. It's here. Orders some lakes, and not moving, and FAQs. We here in the form of the quiver School Options. Economy of the fear and the course of real estate.

[–]Thanix_ 5 points6 points ago

I have no idea what I just read, but I upvoted it anyway. Kudos for proper grammar and good day to you, kind sir!

[–]SonicSpoilers 6 points7 points ago

I said "good day!"

[–]Killfuck_Soulshitter 6 points7 points ago

I have no idea what he said, but I read it in David Tennent's voice.

[–]NegerSimon 0 points1 point ago

You are boring...

[–]PksRevenge 4 points5 points ago

I wonder, with all of the crazy phobias, is there a technical term for fear of statues? Im too lazy to google it but Im sure somebody else will.

[–]hannahkinskywalker 0 points1 point ago

I'm not afraid of actual statues...but I'm pretty terrified of statue street performers like these. Is that included in automatonophobia?

[–]Miyuron 1 point2 points ago

I tried to look it up but there's no specific fear of statue street performers. I came across metamfiezomaiophobia, which is a fear of mimes or disguised people in general. Maybe it's a combination of these two phobias?

[–]hannahkinskywalker 1 point2 points ago

I'm also afraid of clowns and mimes, so perhaps that's a closer fit.

[–]skibblez_n_zits 1 point2 points ago

Diagnosis: Automatonophobia.

[–]Kinseyincanada 0 points1 point ago

Because every child who was scared needs therapy

[–]goddamngrapefruit 1 point2 points ago

Or they become Batman. If her parents die does she become some sort of rigid vigilante? Statue-girl?

[–]That_Weird_Girl 39 points40 points ago

I did this to kids when I was a living statue. It was awesome.

[–]Thorus 22 points23 points ago

I did it too. When I was Ozzy in the wax museum.

[–]mcninsanity 4 points5 points ago

you should do an ama

[–]FunkyHenryGale 1 point2 points ago

I agree with mcninsanity that you should do an AMA. Adding you as a friend on here in the hopes I'll see one pop up!

[–]That_Weird_Girl 4 points5 points ago

About being a living statue? It was just a stupid thing for school, not impressive at all.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]That_Weird_Girl 0 points1 point ago

Nope, Rhode Island. I was less than beautiful.

[–]SevenCubed 1 point2 points ago

WaterFire?

[–]That_Weird_Girl 1 point2 points ago

Autumnfest, actually.

[–][deleted] 105 points106 points ago

When I went to Italy there were a lot of people that did this and if you took a picture with them and didn't tip them the would grab you and wouldn't let go until you paid.

[–]Gamoc 394 points395 points ago

I'm pretty certain those guys were muggers.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

well yeah kind of, but the whole purpose they are there are to get tips and they want there money haha

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

I'm going to tag you as Racist Mime.

[–]IkoIkoComic 13 points14 points ago

Months later: "Why do I have you tagged as Racist Mime?"

This is how these things start, people.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

Never! I'll say "Lol, you're tagged as Racist Mime, derpaderp"

[–]Delfishie 5 points6 points ago

By adding that "derpaderp" at the end, we shall know you as one of our own.

[–]mach-2 9 points10 points ago

So a black mime with a powdered face is doing white face?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

No.

[–]mach-2 7 points8 points ago

ok.

[–]NOT_A_COCONUT 1 point2 points ago

I already have him tagged as dumbshit sooo...

[–]Gamoc 2 points3 points ago

Yes, muggers also want money, that's why they're mugging people.

[–]Glasweg1an 14 points15 points ago

Yeah Barcelona, Las Ramblas specifically is loaded with them. Really cool but just a little weird.

[–]tenhotuisku 6 points7 points ago

I think "really cool but just a little weird" pretty much describes the entire city of Barcelona. Las Ramblas area especially.

[–]Glasweg1an 1 point2 points ago

I think you might be onto something there, the dudes selling caged pigeons was strange to. Really unusual watching the still free pigeons investigating then mocking the caged ones :)

[–]henkrogue 1 point2 points ago

I can't but get lost in that city, with no money, bad cellphone reception and not speaking the native tongue. Worst longboard ride ever!

[–]tenhotuisku 2 points3 points ago

Don't ever spend new years in Barcelona. They have this tradition where they smash every empty bottle to the ground. By 9 or 10pm the entire Rambla was closed as a wall of glass about a foot tall had piled up for the full lenght of the street.
I've heard of beaking glass at new years before but I spent my last new years in Madrid and nobody and aside from a few drunken hooligans nobody was smashing bottles. Apparently it's a Barcelona thing.

[–]knudow 2 points3 points ago

You don't need to speak the native tongue. When I visited Barcelona, a guy asked me for money in 5 languages. And I'm from Spain! (Spanish was the last language he used)

[–]electricmice 0 points1 point ago

but do they force you to give them money though?

[–]EoinKelly 2 points3 points ago

There's a guy in my city who poses like that and holds a walking stick which he hits people in the back of the head with.

[–]knudow 1 point2 points ago

I'd say they are just all over Europe, in most middle-sized to big cities.

In mine (city with about 200.000 people) there are several. Some stay still all the time, some do things like the one in this gif.

There are cheap knock-offs too. Gipsies that dress like this but just sit down and do nothing and chat with friends.

[–]lilstumpz 3 points4 points ago

Where were you at? I never saw this when I went to Italy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Florence and Rome were the big ones

[–]lilstumpz -1 points0 points ago

I went there as well. I suppose I just got lucky.

[–]somedelightfulmoron 1 point2 points ago

In Paris, London and Dublin, there's a lot of those as well.

[–]skarface6 1 point2 points ago

They're all over Rome, especially the Victor Emmanuel monument and one of the famous piazzas (Navona, maybe?).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Where were you.

FTFY

Edit: the bastard changed it.

[–]gotrees 2 points3 points ago

no.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

He changed it. Cause he's a moron.

[–]gotrees 1 point2 points ago

Oh, okay.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 431 points432 points ago

And of course the comments are filled with "Don't blink". Hilarious guys. Keep up the good work.

[–]Cpt_Hockeyhair 318 points319 points ago

I took an arrow to the knee when I found out the cake was a lie made up of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff.

[–]Tactful 146 points147 points ago

"Ultra-meming" is a deadly new pastime, following the latest teen trends such as "planking" and "being unemployed". Ultra-meming involved taking a bunch of out-dated, so-called 'un-cool' memes, and splicing them together to form what is colloquially known as an 'ultra-meme', or a 'memapalooza' in certain areas of Canada.

Please parents, warn your children about the dangers of ultra-meming... because to put it bluntly; yo dawg, hide your children and your wife because Chuck Testa.

[–]koldsnap 16 points17 points ago

by certain areas of Canada you mean, of course, Saskatchewan.

[–]megret 4 points5 points ago

Mostly Regina.

[–]koldsnap 2 points3 points ago

Yeah not sure what's up with that town.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

At least kids aren't huffing jenkem anymore.

[–]whatsabattle 12 points13 points ago

I have heard tell of teens an heroing when they accidentally over 9000 memes.

[–]polysyllabist 8 points9 points ago

I think it's called a meme-ception if you want to get meta about it.

[–]Tactful 14 points15 points ago

I really don't.

[–]CardboardHeatshield 1 point2 points ago

Is it more deadly than Oh long johnsoning?

[–]Tactful 2 points3 points ago

Good moments, but overall the episode felt contrived and a bit late by South Park standards. It would have been funny if it was a meme invented like a week before.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Wow, and I thought the Teen 'Toping' Craze was bad...

[–]PerogiXW 2 points3 points ago

There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie, and Dim, and we sat in the Korova Milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova milkbar sold milk-plus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-meming.

[–]Cpt_Hockeyhair 0 points1 point ago

I was actually hit by a train while typing out that comment.

[–]Torch_Salesman -1 points0 points ago

... That was actually incredibly well written. You got a smirk out of me at several points.

[–]Read_all_the_threads 7 points8 points ago

I also gave zero fucks; here i goggled spiders NOPENOPENOPE!

[–]SortaBeta 3 points4 points ago

The french run away from battles! Lolz!

[–]tristan1301 12 points13 points ago

O.O falls out of chair

[–]tonypotenza 26 points27 points ago

[–]kittyroux 4 points5 points ago

...He looks kind of hot with a beard. :|

[–]DistractedScholar 6 points7 points ago

Ah, I know that face from somewhere. Who is he?

[–]BonzoTheBoss 7 points8 points ago

That's David Mitchell. An English actor and comedian. I love his work!

[–]ejeebs 9 points10 points ago

David Mitchell can grow facial hair?

[–]theultimatejames 2 points3 points ago

David Mitchell. Probably seen him in the Peep Show?

[–]DistractedScholar 2 points3 points ago

Was he ever on QI?

[–]theultimatejames 5 points6 points ago

Yeah he's quite a regular guest. That gif is from 'Would I Lie To You' which is pretty damn funny too.

[–]DistractedScholar 4 points5 points ago

Ah, that's where I know him from. I just started watching QI, and it's the best show on TV, without a doubt.

[–]englad 1 point2 points ago

I don't get the wobbly wobbly part

[–]Cpt_Hockeyhair 0 points1 point ago

It's a very played out bit from Doctor Who. It's actually a brilliant line from an amazing episode, but like all things... moderation was the key.

[–]bjams 56 points57 points ago

ANYTHING RELATED TO DR. WHO IS HILARIOUS.

[–]TheSeldomShaken 50 points51 points ago

Except the Slitheen.

We do not discuss the Slitheen.

[–]bjams 39 points40 points ago

Yeah, they can stay on Raxacoricofallapatorius for all I care.

[–]gotrees 6 points7 points ago

You Googled that.

You had to.

No way you could remember all that.

Please tell me you Googled that.

[–]bjams 11 points12 points ago

No. I am THAT big a fan of doctor who. And a great speller.

[–]kittyroux 4 points5 points ago

It's phonetic. If you can remember the name Raxacoricofallapatorius, you can spell it.

[–]Salva_Veritate 2 points3 points ago

Fuck them! My friends refused to skip those just so they could torture me, and another friend passed by and decided to watch. He was unfamiliar with the show and this was basically the first time he saw it. After two minutes he turned to me and asked, "Is this Doctor Who?"

I sighed. "Yep."

"Man, I thought this show was supposed to be good." He walked away, shaking his head.

That's why I recommend that everyone skip the Slitheen. I removed them from my hard drive so that whenever I give people my D.Who collection, they don't get the chance to watch the Slitheen episodes.

[–]liquid_danger 1 point2 points ago

fart

[–]Limitedcomments 11 points12 points ago

Why don't we keep repeating it over and over, surely it will remain just as brilliant.

[–]Marowak 31 points32 points ago

I've had to leave /r/doctorwho. I just can't stand it anymore.

  • Posts photo of Silent. "Why the blank photo, LOL!"

  • Posts photo of any statue. "OMG, DON'T BLINK!"

  • Posts photo of Jenny/Sally Sparrow. "DAE want her back?"

and repeat.

[–]polysyllabist 20 points21 points ago

It's only bad because they are between seasons.

[–]LORDJEW_VAN_CUNTFUCK 3 points4 points ago

I hear this a lot but it's hard to believe all the shit content just disappears when the season begins. I'd imagine they'd just start making memes and image macros of the new episodes.

[–]Hedonopoly 1 point2 points ago

What did you think happened in those subreddits. r/community, r/walkingdead are just like that as well, it's why they exist, really.

[–]cupids_hitman 6 points7 points ago

TV show specific subreddits always get awful in between seasons. Just wait until the new season starts and it will be much better.

[–]InfinitePower 1 point2 points ago

Oh, I don't think all TV subreddits get awful between seasons.

[–]shadowman42 2 points3 points ago

That's awful by design though....

[–]InfinitePower 1 point2 points ago

Have you actually watched the show, or are you simply judging it without any knowledge of it? If it's the latter, then your criticism is completely valid, but if it's the former, then you should watch at least the first two episodes before you form your opinion.

[–]shadowman42 2 points3 points ago

I have indeed watched the first two episodes (and a handful of others, my sisters are obsessed with it). Awful is a subjective term and it was awful to me (too much brightness, literally and and figuratively), though it may not be awful to others.

It's not a terrible show by any means, but I dislike it.

And further more, my sister states that after the season ended,the subreddit has gone downhill in quality as well

[–]Speedingturtle 2 points3 points ago

I'd personally say that the subreddit went downhill with it's size. The Eternal September phenomenon is to blame.

[–]InfinitePower 1 point2 points ago

I upvoted you solely for taking the time out to watch them, forming an educated opinion on your own, and understanding that we can all have our own opinions. If only everyone who disliked MLP was as understanding and tolerant as you, we'd all have a far better time.

[–]thesatchmo 9 points10 points ago

That and the relentless posts of David Tennant. OMG WHO WANTS 10 BACK LOLOLOLOL

[–]Mundilfari 5 points6 points ago

Strange. I have the feeling it is always 9. "Come ooon everyone. The "9th was the best doctor EVER"-circlejerk is starting."

[–]gotrees 4 points5 points ago

I believe it will get better when the new series starts.

[–]KAMalosh 3 points4 points ago

*glass shatters * I knew it...but goddamn it, I hadn't thought about it.

.../r/doctorwho is now ruined...

And apparently there's an /r/doctorwhocirclejerk. Who knew?

Edit, you forgot about bad wolf

[–]WrethZ 3 points4 points ago

To be fair, this one work very well, it moves just as she looks away, just like the angels.

[–]Xedma 2 points3 points ago

Yay! I win the Reddit Guessing Game!

[–]VoteOrPie 12 points13 points ago

On reddit, the only thing more predictable than the overuse of memes is people bitching about the overuse of memes.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

The sad thing about reddit is if you had a time machine and posted something at any point within the years it's existed, you'd get the same comments.

[–]VoteOrPie 1 point2 points ago

Thanks for the contribution.

[–]paleo_dragon 1 point2 points ago

sorry, I know it's not the most unique comment and I guess I'm contributing to the problem, so I'll delete it

[–]VoteOrPie 1 point2 points ago

Aw, sorry, I was trying to be funny. No hard feelings, man.

[–]paleo_dragon 1 point2 points ago

no offence taken bro

[–]Kogknight 5 points6 points ago

Did I stumble into /r/circlejerk

[–]UDNTNOME 10 points11 points ago

DAE think circlejerk has too many self posts? upvotes plz!

[–]Piecrust 10 points11 points ago

This happened to me in Barcelona, a human statue picked me up and I freaked the hell out. I am now terrified of statues, manikins and anything humanoid that could come to life. The doctor who episode with the weeping angels really didn't help.

[–]Dr_Deadmeat 5 points6 points ago

Just to make sure you won't ever get rid of that fear http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwGOWS2svas

[–]Cueball61 1 point2 points ago

I really didn't find NH2 scary, you had a gun, that immediately makes it pretty tame.

[–]Han_soliloquy 0 points1 point ago

How did I just know that the link would lead to that video.

[–]camtns 0 points1 point ago

Definitely read that as "mankini."

[–]Martyrred001 36 points37 points ago

[–]caitlinreid 9 points10 points ago

Thanks for the gif with a laugh track and cheesy music overlaid on it.

[–]JakJakAttacks 1 point2 points ago

That will haunt her for years to come. Worth it for us, sucks for parents.

[–]Linkzor24 15 points16 points ago

I remember when I was in a mall as a child, and there was this guy in a Spiderman costume, and I thought it was just a solid figure. Of course, Spiderman moved, and I ran away screaming and crying to my parents. Good times. :')

[–]virtyy 24 points25 points ago

Ye kids are dumb.

[–]winecannon 1 point2 points ago

Ye Olde Kids*

[–]fruiteo 7 points8 points ago

Anyone got a link to a video version of this?

[–]Snoopy7393 5 points6 points ago

[–]Starwing1126 12 points13 points ago

When I was 10 I walked by a gold statue of a scuba diver that said to donate. I said "who would donate to scuba divers"? Then it got up and I freaked out because I thought it would punish me.

[–]mrdank 5 points6 points ago

I saw a woman doing this in the subway in NYC. She must have been practicing because you could honestly only tell that she wasn't a statue from her breathing. Even that was hardly noticeable. I'll try and find a picture i took.

[–]Bitrandombit 1 point2 points ago

Amanda Palmer used to do the human statue gig up in Boston.

[–]Dr_Girlfriend_ 2 points3 points ago

This kind of happened to my mom, except it was a male, with a short skirt...thing, and she of course had to see if there was anything up there, til he slapped her hand away. She was hilariously freaked out.

[–]namedmeducky 18 points19 points ago

Can I say "don't blink" too guys? I wanna' say it too!

[–]blink_again_bitch 26 points27 points ago

This is awkward

[–]faeglenn 2 points3 points ago

Exactly the first thing I thought. Thank you!

[–]nolij420 2 points3 points ago

is blinking one eye at a time an option? seems simple enough.

[–]bradbeattie 1 point2 points ago

[–]PollysLithium 1 point2 points ago

I think I would have peed my pants a little if I were that little girl.

[–]harribel 1 point2 points ago

That's some nightmare fuel right there

[–]thelonepopcorn 1 point2 points ago

If I saw a statue move... I probably wouldn't even be able to run.

[–]VAPossum 1 point2 points ago

The guy posted an animated gif of a living statue on Reddit. Did he expect it to NOT be full of Doctor Who jokes?

[–]StabilizationAttempt 1 point2 points ago

[Stabilized?]
(Using VirtualDub with the Deshaker filter/plugin)
Feel free to send me a message if I might be able to assist.

[–]InappropriateDan 5 points6 points ago

Upvote. Anything that traumatizes kids is hilarious.

[–]thecrownprince 3 points4 points ago

I probably would have punched her.

[–]blink_again_bitch 2 points3 points ago

This is awkward

[–]CarthageForever 3 points4 points ago

To all the people complaining about the Dr. Who posts. I agree with you, but don't be a douche bag about it.

[–]pseudolobster -3 points-2 points ago

Don't blink.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]anotherlandguy -4 points-3 points ago

They are fast. Faster than you can believe.

[–]lilstumpz -3 points-2 points ago

ಠ_ಠ

[–]OddlyOffensive 0 points1 point ago

I had one of these people scare the fuck out of me at The Taste of Chicago, except the dude was dressed like a tinman and reached out and grabbed me while I was looking at him.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]OddlyOffensive 0 points1 point ago

I was like... 10. If even. So no. I just got scared shitless then went to see Blues Clues live lol.

[–]Phaelanx 0 points1 point ago

Dat timing.

[–]CrackersInMyCrack 0 points1 point ago

This happened to me on Halloween when i was 6. But it was a guy dressed as a scarecrow in the middle of a yard. I passed out.

[–]feelmyperi 0 points1 point ago

My poor nephew is STILL terrified of animals (even stuffed animals) because 3 or 4 years ago he was standing near the entrance to the Rainforest cafe when the elephant moved and scared the shit out of him. Poor little guy.

[–]derpalerps 0 points1 point ago

good thing it wasn't a guy trying to cop a feel on a statue

[–]haiku_robot 3 points4 points ago

good thing it wasn't 
a guy trying to cop a 
feel on a statue

[–]darkwolfeyez 0 points1 point ago

No way I could stand still that long I'd be giggling to much

[–]newmarc 0 points1 point ago

Stone cold

[–]A_WILD_ABRA_APPEARED 0 points1 point ago

Is this that lady in the Italian section of the World Showcase in EPCOT? Her job is to scare little children. I'm jealous.

[–]amazinnn 0 points1 point ago

There used to be an act like this in the Italy section of Epcot. It was always a great time seeing what the performer would do to oblivious passers-by.

[–]coil_is_dead 0 points1 point ago

Ah, Jackson Square.

[–]XxcontaminatexX 0 points1 point ago

not trying to make jokes, I'd shit my self.

[–]thesandlion56 0 points1 point ago

Well, see the issue was she looked away, they're faster, faster than you think...

[–]DibblesD 0 points1 point ago

Anybody think of weeping angels?

[–]InterwebCeleb 0 points1 point ago

I did, but when I posted about it I got downvoted into oblivion.

[–]thebattlefish 0 points1 point ago

Just watched videos of weeping angels. WHO NEEDS SLEEP?

[–]urticate 0 points1 point ago

Boo! Mother fucker!

[–]cGt2099 0 points1 point ago

did she make them say "comfy chairs"?

[–]TheGeekVault 0 points1 point ago

Whatever you do, don't blink

[–]Chaquator 0 points1 point ago

[–]fr3echilly 0 points1 point ago

I like how she runs like naruto at the end.

[–]babygirl456 0 points1 point ago

Lol hahaha!!!!!!!

[–]TheHerpfulDerp 0 points1 point ago

This one has been on top for days now.

[–]xPIN34PPl3Sx 0 points1 point ago

Shit I blinked :o

[–]heyitsjustinn 0 points1 point ago

boobs

[–]goddamngrapefruit 0 points1 point ago

...I think I've found myself a new hobby.

[–]jfull21 0 points1 point ago

Does this remind anyone else of the weeping angels or just me?

[–]meditonsin -4 points-3 points ago

Phew. She looked back just in time. Damn Angels.

[–]dreamendDischarger 5 points6 points ago

Uhm, sir... this is a picture of an Angel, right? Didn't you say that was just as bad?

[–]meditonsin 0 points1 point ago

Now that you mention it... bollocks.

[–]ThomasTurbate 0 points1 point ago

she became an airplane

[–]bantam700 -1 points0 points ago

A wingless weeping angel!

[–]brosenfeld -1 points0 points ago

At least it didn't kill her when she turned away.