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1264
1265

666 (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by HopeinaBottle

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[–]beef_creature 468 points469 points ago

I'd like to know how to kill a large seal with a bike.

[–]Vepps 280 points281 points ago

Patience and practice.

[–]Rhinosaucerus 134 points135 points ago

And a lot of alcohol.

[–]HE_WHO_STANDS_TO_POO 73 points74 points ago

He's clearly too young for that. Probably just drugs....

[–]Rhinosaucerus 73 points74 points ago

Daddy doesn't keep the liquor cabinet locked.

[–]mach-2 27 points28 points ago

Junior found some bitter candy.

[–]commando2047 19 points20 points ago

Is it possible to poo while standing up?

[–]FullSail 55 points56 points ago

brb

[–]userdeath 20 points21 points ago

Well..?

[–]blod09 34 points35 points ago

I don't think we will be hearing from him again, probably died trying...

[–]mach-2 31 points32 points ago

He's a hero who died in a battleshit.

[–]Itakemycock3atatime 26 points27 points ago

Crap of duty, modern bathroom 3.

[–]Kela3000 2 points3 points ago

A true hero.

[–]foodprocessor2 1 point2 points ago

An hero, sheesh.

[–]FuriousBanana 0 points1 point ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6433-6t3c0&wadsworth=1

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]RageDoll 1 point2 points ago

    Tried it as well...

    I'd rather not discuss my findings...

    [–]wrongpasswordmyarse 14 points15 points ago

    Well, I suppose you could sit down. Wouldn't advise it though.

    [–]The_other_Aphex_twin 14 points15 points ago

    meant for squatting. Humans were meant to shit squatting, not sitting leisurely at the toilet, although I vastly prefer the comfort of a seat.

    [–]Takuya-san 8 points9 points ago

    Although sitting is bad for you and (from memory) causes hemorrhoids.

    Edit: clarified what I said.

    [–]Uijado 1 point2 points ago

    Wait, what? Do you mean squatting causes haemorrhoids or sitting down causes haemorrhoids?

    [–]Takuya-san 3 points4 points ago

    Sitting down. And it's for a number of reasons. It puts extra strain on you (don't know the specifics, I'm not good at anatomy). It also makes your shit move slower because your pipes are curved when sitting instead of straight as it is when squatting. This means you strain for longer than when you squat.

    Apologies if you were confused and thought I said squatting causes hemorrhoids, I wasn't exactly clear.

    [–]xnihil0zer0 6 points7 points ago

    I'm not sure if this answers your question, but I'm sorry either way. NSFW

    [–]Farvamus_prime 5 points6 points ago

    I cannot stop laughing. "Ewww, Ewww!"

    [–]beef_creature 1 point2 points ago

    I seriously did not think that was possible at all. Mind blown.

    [–]runsoutofspace 0 points1 point ago

    If I'm not mistaken... CKY3.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

    i fucking did that til i was five/six, my justifiably troll dad even took pictures of it.

    [–]chiggers 0 points1 point ago

    Pics or it didn't happen.

    [–]WendyLRogers3 2 points3 points ago

    A real man stands up to shit.

    [–]LifeBandit666 2 points3 points ago

    Yes. My 18 month old son managed it when we were trying to potty-train him. He stood at the crucial moment and shit on the carpet.

    [–]bigrockcndymtn 1 point2 points ago

    Yeah you just have to do the orangutan hang.

    [–]alphadogkp 3 points4 points ago

    I actually went to jail for killing a horse when I was drunk and on drugs. True story.

    [–]SpankWhoWithWhatNow 2 points3 points ago

    Soooo... rest of the story?

    [–]alphadogkp 4 points5 points ago

    I've actually been debating whether or not I should do an AMA on it to be honest.

    [–]certainlikely 1 point2 points ago

    Just do it already!!!

    [–]CarbonFiberFootprint 1 point2 points ago

    Go on...

    [–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

    maybe he's just doing acid and his shirt, supposed home, friends and smiles are just a figment of his imagination while in reality* he lives in an abandoned sewage hole under a bridge (meth ad reference, anyone?)

    Edit: word usage

    [–]SalanderousWasp 2 points3 points ago

    And my ax the glory of satan

    [–]CapnSheff 1 point2 points ago

    Kick ass!!

    [–]MotorBoat12 1 point2 points ago

    And a zoo with poor security within biking distance for a child.

    [–]ArionVII 1 point2 points ago

    Patience, practice, and physics!

    [–]ForgettableUsername 49 points50 points ago

    Seals are graceful swimmers, but on land they are awkward and slow-moving, making them vulnerable to land predators, like polar bears and young demonic boys on bikes.

    [–]beef_creature 5 points6 points ago

    "Kick ass" --next target has been selected. Watch out asses.

    [–]Ssirius 26 points27 points ago

    Pick up a bike, any bike really(your experience may wary due to bike size), and keep hitting the seal on the head with it, or strangle it with the chain, repeat as necessary until the seal stops moving and breathing, by this point it should probably be dead.

    [–]CaffeinatedGuy[!] 20 points21 points ago

    Came here to say this. Nowhere does it say he ran the animals over.

    [–]Cthulhuhoop 23 points24 points ago

    "my bike" could be a slang term for his penis.

    [–]Elgin_McQueen 9 points10 points ago

    Are you implying he raped the seal to death or that the awe of seeing such a mighty member caused the seals brain to explode, to death?

    [–]golfwang999 3 points4 points ago

    yup.

    [–]Companion_Cuby 3 points4 points ago

    He did both at the same time.

    [–]werthog2994 1 point2 points ago

    Well before we can find out if it was due to size, we need someone to look up a seal's member.

    [–]beef_creature 6 points7 points ago

    Even more demonic than originally thought ಠ_ಠ

    [–]latejoe 4 points5 points ago

    This kills the seal

    [–]zenmunster -1 points0 points ago

    And will then appear on his tshirt. You forgot the main part!!!

    load more comments (1 reply)

      [–]Suzy_Sweetheart 5 points6 points ago

      Thats a sea lion

      [–]SirCannonFodder 4 points5 points ago

      If you dismantled it and sharpened one of the pieces you'd probably be able stab it.

      [–]Kela3000 1 point2 points ago

      On the back of that shirt, there's a picture of a dinosaur.

      [–]shuyken 1 point2 points ago

      With the help of the devil, man.

      [–]scottyboomboom1 1 point2 points ago

      Carefully.

      [–]Lucifers_Friend 1 point2 points ago

      I'm okay with this being a repost (for the billionth time), and even, sigh*, making the front page.

      But seriously. The same exact fucking top comment every time!

      [–]Kerbobotat 4 points5 points ago

      Im glad you're ok with this Lucifers_Friend, I saw it and I was like "Whats Lucifers friend going to think?"

      [–]Lucifers_Friend 1 point2 points ago

      Oh, I was under the impression that people could share their opinion on a post with use of the comment system.

      Sorry about that.

      [–]beef_creature 3 points4 points ago

      Same comment, really? hmmm I must have cheated.

      EDIT: My god, you were right. Almost word-for-word with the other post. And all this time I have been thinking I am original.

      [–]havel 0 points1 point ago

      I came here solely to find this comment. I was not disappointed. An upvote for you.

      [–]synthesis11 -1 points0 points ago

      large tires

      [–]Elgin_McQueen -1 points0 points ago

      You're assuming by running it over. Actually it's by picking the bike up and slamming it into the animals head over and over.

      [–]drennon3 -1 points0 points ago

      Must be Canadian.

      [–]MisterSquirrel -3 points-2 points ago

      You pummel them with it.

      load more comments (4 replies)

        [–]Aldir 177 points178 points ago

        You could at least credit Seanbaby from Cracked.com for this.

        [–]carnevoodoo 78 points79 points ago

        It has been passed around a lot. There's a good chance OP doesn't know.

        [–]carrbon_residue 3 points4 points ago

        There's a good chance many OP's will never know.

        [–]SomeNoveltyAccount 8 points9 points ago

        Seanbaby from Cracked.com? When did Seanbaby start working for Cracked?!

        [–]CHEMO_ALIEN 4 points5 points ago

        About two years ago. His are the only funny submissions anymore.

        [–]Allen139 3 points4 points ago

        Is that the same guy who used to write for EGM?

        [–]wardwell 8 points9 points ago

        no thats the other seanbaby

        [–]SuperShake66652 0 points1 point ago

        He still writes for EGM.

        [–]FabulousLastWords 0 points1 point ago

        Well, maybe if it still existed.

        [–]Delfishie 0 points1 point ago

        What is EGM?

        [–]MILKB0T 1 point2 points ago

        Well if Swaim kept doing his damn video series...

        [–]HappyDays7 2 points3 points ago

        But... Brockway...?

        [–]CHEMO_ALIEN 0 points1 point ago

        I'll give you that.

        [–]Ikimasen 3 points4 points ago

        I believe you mean Seanbaby from Seanbaby.com

        [–]Heimdall1972 -1 points0 points ago

        This isn't Seanbaby's. He used that image - in fact, he used the entire old comic book ad that it's from - but his dialogue was considerably different.

        [–]Abhorsen469 1 point2 points ago

        Thatsthejoke.jpg

        load more comments (1 reply)

          [–]SimilarImage 67 points68 points ago

          Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
          5 months tulipsilon The Devil does some weird shit. /r/atheism 18 54
          7 months PoshyX Maybe the Devil does it! here 168 1199
          5 months itzjamesftw I think the devil does it... /r/funny 67 777

          This is an automated response

          FAQ | Send Feedback | Report Error

          [–]HopeinaBottle[S] 56 points57 points ago

          Is there a way to check for reposts because honestly I'm pretty new to the reddit scene? I'd love to be able to check and not feel like an arse.

          [–]beef_creature 36 points37 points ago

          No worries dude, happens to a lot of people. I don't think there is an effective way. Reddit requires a search for the title of images, so if the title is non-descriptive, then it is near impossible. You are getting upvotes anyway, so the masses appear to accept.

          [–]HopeinaBottle[S] 29 points30 points ago

          Poked around a little bit and found this. Seems to work fairly well from what I can tell. I went ahead and got the user script for chrome.

          [–]Kerbobotat 1 point2 points ago

          I personally had never seen this before, and I laughed heartily at it for quite some time. If you had not posted it, I would not have had that laugh. Repost complainers want to block that fun, they are the fun police.

          [–]SmartViking 5 points6 points ago

          The fact that it is a repost doesn't mean that you shouldn't repost it. If people haven't seen it and find it amusing, they will upvote, without the repost they wouldn't see it. There's nothing wrong with reposting if the previous one that got popular is kind of old.

          [–]Se7en_Sinner 13 points14 points ago

          But you will always get people complaining, always.

          [–]DreamCatcher24 2 points3 points ago

          I think repost after 6 months is fine. However, if it is something that was posted 3 days ago, I don't see the reason for a repost.

          [–]MILKB0T 1 point2 points ago

          I refuse to believe it's only people that haven't seen it before that upvote reposts. They get too many upvotes.

          [–]AdrianHObradors 0 points1 point ago

          But what if it was already upvoted 7343 times?

          [–]CapitalQ 1 point2 points ago

          You poked around and found that? It's linked prominently in the parent post of this comment thread!

          [–]Armyless 4 points5 points ago

          For example, this title is non-descriptive.

          [–]GAFMisat0 7 points8 points ago

          A good rule of thumb is if you found it somewhere on the internet, it has already been posted to reddit.

          [–]baffler 1 point2 points ago

          I've been on reddit longer than a year and haven't seen it. I don't really see a problem with reposts anyways, so I don't think you should feel like an arse.

          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

          Who cares? The only people who get butthurt about reposts are basement dwelling neckbeards who have seen everything on the internet twice.

          [–]PipingHotSoup 1 point2 points ago

          Honestly, the people bitching loudly are obviously downvoting anyway, but your post still manages to get to the front page. This means the people who get a small amount of joy from seeing this far outnumber the raging basement-dwellers who feel entitled to have new content delivered to them on a regular basis- and get very vocal when they see something twice.

          I've seen this before and I still chuckled. I would encourage you to repost more often, especially if it's funny stuff!

          [–]sihnon 0 points1 point ago

          If you paste the link you want to submit into the search box, it'll do one of two things:

          • If it's been posted before, it'll show you
          • Or if it's new, it'll automatically take you to the submit page.

          Doesn't always get everything, but good practice nevertheless.

          [–]silent_p 5 points6 points ago

          Yeah, this often won't work for image submissions, though, if you're just rehosting in imgur.

          load more comments (4 replies)

            [–]SeaCandiesTroy 16 points17 points ago

            The best timing I've ever had.

            [–]dyzastrus 0 points1 point ago

            Get Alien Blue. It's about 100x better than the official iPhone app.

            [–]KEYBORED10 2 points3 points ago

            He has been clubbing with those animals

            [–]diggizsofuckinggay 2 points3 points ago

            Ever seen that power rangers episode where the bad guy swallows the rangers one by one and then they show up on his belly? Creepy as fuck for a 5 year old.

            [–]adubjose 1 point2 points ago

            Hahahha first thing I thought of... yeah he was a toad/frog and whenever he swallowed the Power RangersTM their faces would show up

            [–]digiorknow 1 point2 points ago

            This is what I came looking for. That's the only episode that I can remember from back in the day and it was pretty creepy.

            [–]Skwerley 8 points9 points ago

            That's gotta be Seanbaby.

            [–]GDMFusername 9 points10 points ago

            Came here for a backstory on the comic, nope.. Same as usual. Endless chain of stupidity and repetition of tired memes. One day I'll learn.

            [–]cyberfinger 0 points1 point ago

            it's the newest bike safety manual approved by the Texas Board of Education

            load more comments (2 replies)

              [–]lscioscio 5 points6 points ago

              This is pretty funny, but it's also photoshopped. Because if that, it should probably be in r/funny.

              [–]dingusmingus 1 point2 points ago

              Top left looks like a woman on her hands and knees.

              [–]Evan_the_Young 1 point2 points ago

              That is one bad-ass bike if he's offin' seals and sheep with it.

              [–]Hughtub 1 point2 points ago

              Artist forgot to cover the bike with brown and red blood stains, and intestines in the spokes.

              [–]i-dont-have-a-gun 1 point2 points ago

              Eww, i hate his shorts.

              [–]BockClocked 1 point2 points ago

              Having six with a beast three times is never a good thing.

              [–]abyrn 1 point2 points ago

              I just got back from a bike ride where I accidentally crashed into a dog and this is what I see on the frontpage....

              [–]natatat14 1 point2 points ago

              kick ass!

              [–]GoochyBandana 1 point2 points ago

              not what the fuck worthy

              [–]Bassmanator 1 point2 points ago

              how the fuck did he manage to kill a cow with his bike?!

              [–]bigfluffyhair 1 point2 points ago

              COMIC SANNNNNNNNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

              [–]Inky_musty 0 points1 point ago

              It's a comic...

              [–]CaptainEhAwesome 1 point2 points ago

              is that a baby?

              [–]michaelgecko 1 point2 points ago

              Is that a seal?

              [–]Monster_Claire 1 point2 points ago

              actually the devil's number is 661 it was a issue of mistranslating

              [–]noveltydraw 1 point2 points ago

              Is that.. Comic Sans?

              [–]allven434 2 points3 points ago

              Seriously? This is a comic, so yes, that is Comic Sans.

              [–]rott -1 points0 points ago

              Nope, Comic Sans is never justified, even in comics - specially if you're looking for a vintage feel.
              There are TONS of better fonts for comics.

              [–]truthinlies 0 points1 point ago

              SO. MANY. ANTS.

              [–]feral_troll 0 points1 point ago

              is that a fucking seal?

              [–]Theqman24 0 points1 point ago

              as Tom Araya would say, HELL AWAITS!

              [–]bazilbt 0 points1 point ago

              goddamn if I knew this was going to make the front page I would have reposted it.

              [–]tim_the_ted 0 points1 point ago

              yeah but does the one on the bottom left have the head of a duck or a rabbit?

              [–]Ryan69plz 0 points1 point ago

              i go on 4chan too

              [–]Paso1129 0 points1 point ago

              Reminds me of the artwork fighter pilots used to put on their planes to indicate the number of aerial victories.

              http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2137263/American-fighter-pilots-risked-lives-defend-Britain-World-War.html

              1st photo...

              [–]thundercleese2012 0 points1 point ago

              The next day: why do you have pictures of your neighbors on your shirt?

              [–]meresimpleton 0 points1 point ago

              I know I've been on reddit too long when I realize it's a repost from 6 months ago. I literally haven't left reddit in 6 months.

              [–]crell_peterson 0 points1 point ago

              I just now realized those aren't both girls swooning over him. I guess some good ol' vehicular animal slaughter is respected by both sexes.

              [–]kenzieluhu07 0 points1 point ago

              Watch out, we got a badass over here!

              [–]raintheory 0 points1 point ago

              I feel that this belongs here.

              [–]detritus87 0 points1 point ago

              It's from cracked.com, man comics, lol. They are a creation of the demi-god seanbaby

              [–]bbooth76 0 points1 point ago

              That is one of the funniest things I've seen.

              [–]special2plumsfor1 0 points1 point ago

              Does this make anyone else think of the old Blowpop wrappers with the Indian and the star? Iirc, there was no promotion for it, but people thought there was, and shop owners played along with it.

              [–]fistofthenorthstar 0 points1 point ago

              lmao @ a fuckin seal

              [–]SimonWest 0 points1 point ago

              Id like to know how many times this is gonna get reposted, it might be less annoying then when I know how many more times it will appear.

              [–]dabears2 0 points1 point ago

              Where did you get this and are there more

              [–]aazav 0 points1 point ago

              http://karmadecay.com/i.imgur.com/PegiA.jpg

              At least the 5th time this has been reposted.

              [–]carebeartears 0 points1 point ago

              Praise Satan!

              guitar solo

              [–]fusion0608 0 points1 point ago

              Not even close to funny....

              [–]IZNICE 0 points1 point ago

              How the fuck do you kill a seal with a bike?

              [–]ThatOneMusician 1 point2 points ago

              Came here to post this word for word. It's scary how similarly minds work.

              [–]Masterminderman 0 points1 point ago

              Repost...

              [–]merchantship 0 points1 point ago

              Here's some of his film work from his younger days http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fw3XyOyl47Q

              [–]comeoutandplay 0 points1 point ago

              I'mna go out on a limb here and say who ever outed bicycles as the devil's tool, fuck you. it was a secret

              [–]themilfislands 0 points1 point ago

              COMIC SANSSSSS

              [–]xLoVeMeOrH8Me97x -3 points-2 points ago

              humm looks fake to me i dun think u can do that..??

              [–]Marceline523 -1 points0 points ago

              I saw this on pinterest...

              [–]kenzieluhu07 0 points1 point ago

              And that is something you should never admit in reddit :)

              [–]Marceline523 1 point2 points ago

              Yup. I like reddit better! Maybe that will help me regain some upvotes.

              [–]ICallsEmAsISeesEm -2 points-1 points ago

              Hail Satan dark lord and master.

              [–]Those_Magumbos -1 points0 points ago

              This could only be the work of the Master...Seanbaby!

              [–]thydowulays -1 points0 points ago

              First time I've ever seen Comic Sans used in a comic.

              [–]Bronan_the_Brobarian -4 points-3 points ago

              Photoshops are not WTF

              [–]dja0794 1 point2 points ago

              oh shut up, it's a picture of a kid who murders animals for the glory of satan. Fake or not it's pretty WTF.

              [–]ThrowAwayForFW -5 points-4 points ago

              How come there isn't a picture of a Nigger on his shirt?

              [–]cobrabubbles123 -2 points-1 points ago

              I've seen this before. Repost?

              [–]josekristiano -1 points0 points ago

              how many times is this image gonna be on the front page?

              [–]bax101 -1 points0 points ago

              oh the 1950's when America was hiding the truth on a daily basis. Strange times.

              [–]HAIL-SATAN -1 points0 points ago

              HAIL SATAN!

              [–]NSskier90 -1 points0 points ago

              ಠ_ಠ

              [–]lilraz08 -1 points0 points ago

              fucking repost

              [–]matrixman673a -1 points0 points ago

              Killed a sparrow. Baby too. Lost it's mother. Didn't fill me up...

              [–]seltzerislife -1 points0 points ago

              Shout out to Satan.

              [–]jamesslater123 -1 points0 points ago

              COMIC SANSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

              load more comments (12 replies)

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