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top 200 commentsshow all 376

[–]herpty_derpty 232 points233 points ago

I had to watch it a few times to make sure that wasn't Ryan Stiles.

[–]withmorten 12 points13 points ago

It's a german comedian/actor, I think. I've seen him a couple of times in Switch Reloaded (german TV show).

[–]lack_of_ideas 11 points12 points ago

It's Michael Kessler of "Kessler's Knigge" (a show about things that you shouldn't do in certain situations).

[–]withmorten 1 point2 points ago

I'm off to watch that then. :D

[–]IAmQWOP 4 points5 points ago

You better don't... trust me.

[–]LoganPhyve 1 point2 points ago

You better don't.

I am totally using this expression at the very next opportunity I have.

[–]NotSoGoodAtPhotoshop 1 point2 points ago

You better don't.

[–]nick_is_a_fuck 0 points1 point ago

"My name's Michael Kessler, and this is the "Take a Lady's Pillow, and Punch her in the Head""

[–]JoeRuinsEverything 2 points3 points ago

The weird thing is that these small parts that show up on reddit every now and then are basically the only funny parts in series that run forever. Switch Reloaded is decent at times, but most of the stuff he's in is just atrocious. It's saturday/sunday afternoon quality that runs in the background while people nap on their couch.

[–]withmorten 1 point2 points ago

Yeah :/

[–]Chairboy 14 points15 points ago

Ditto, and on my front page the very next image actually WAS Ryan Stiles (which just reinforced the association in my head).

[–]oooll 2 points3 points ago

From Next time i will be secure when i am on aeroplane!!!!!

[–]Shadax 1 point2 points ago

I was convinced it was until I read your comment.

[–]Roopa132 81 points82 points ago

What's with all the Michael Kessler gifs in the last two days? And they say we Germans aren't funny...

[–]JohnTrollvolta 75 points76 points ago

Q: What's the world's thinnest book?
A: 1,000 years of German humor.

[–]randomt2000 35 points36 points ago

To be fair, it's on par with "American cultural history" and "Hightlights of British cuisine".

[–]braunshaver 7 points8 points ago

or "jewish military victories"

[–]MadManMax55 11 points12 points ago

Do yourself a favor and look up Israels military record. They may not be able to dunk a basketball, but you do not fuck with a Jew on the battlefield.

Krav Maga is some scary shit.

[–]braunshaver 3 points4 points ago

Yeah I really meant jewish sports legends. My mistake... I'm surprised you're the only person who called me out. Everyone knows how good the jewish are at army stuff, especially invading and taking various territories

[–]Happycamper101 5 points6 points ago

That's a funny way to spell "French".

[–]CornOnTheMob 0 points1 point ago

sigh

[–]Shiaar -1 points0 points ago

Girl look at that body

[–]Roopa132 5 points6 points ago

I thought it was "The brilliance of American education"

[–]kman5690 12 points13 points ago

Jesus H Christ. Spent agonizing over this the better part of my life and it had never occurred until just now

[–]JohnTrollvolta 11 points12 points ago

Yeah, that had me ROFLLFCUMC (Rolling on floor looking for the cord to unplug my computer).

[–]bluspart 2 points3 points ago

CUM

[–]Gortos 5 points6 points ago

I have every single episode of "10 Dinge..." I could find on the Internet on my tablet. Found that it's an excellent way to distract my friends on long car drives so they stop talking to me while I'm driving.

[–]philqw 9 points10 points ago

Oh, I thought I was the only one that watched German comedy while driving.

[–]snutr 11 points12 points ago

How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- if manufactured correctly.

Sank you. I shall be here all sa week.

[–]Lowelll 2 points3 points ago

To be fair, Kessler isn't funny.

[–]Dr_Insanity 377 points378 points ago

That's not how banks work :(

[–]Jazzbandrew 151 points152 points ago

It's easier to hate them if we pretend they're literally punching us. Haven't you heard? We think in gifs now.

[–]alreadytakenusername 53 points54 points ago

Banker's in an economy seat? OP lost credibility.

[–]larkable 6 points7 points ago

The banker is just sitting there so he can bully the poor people. He has another seat booked in the first class section of the plane.

[–]CubeGuy365 2 points3 points ago

He booked first class.

All of it.

[–]dietbroccoli 1 point2 points ago

I think you mean "He owns the plane."

[–]Jizzbandrew 0 points1 point ago

We think in jizz now.

FTFY DOHOHOHO

fuck you man.

[–]JosiahJohnson 47 points48 points ago

It's actually much closer to how governments work.

[–]IdiothequeAnthem 28 points29 points ago

No, it's corporations!

No, it's governments!

No, it's churches!

When do we get to start demonizing small businesses?

[–]Young_Clean_Bastard 28 points29 points ago

The thing is, people will ALWAYS demonize the powerful institutions in society. It is easy to see the bad things they do, but very difficult to see the good things they do, which more or less they have always done and which we take for granted.

Corporations and capitalism have provided more wealth and comfort than would have been imaginable even 200-300 years ago. Because of them we have cars, penicillin, airplanes, toothpaste, any kind of food whenever we want it, the internet, iPhones, etc., etc., etc.

Without government, we couldn't have the rule of law, public goods like roads, the military, etc. It would soon be a Hobbesian war of all against all.

Churches are the main drivers of charity in society, and provide invaluable community, ritual, and tradition to their members. Belonging to a church or similar tight-knit community is almost a requirement for happiness as humans are social creatures. (This one I don't think is as strong an argument as the other two.)

People always forget these things. Liberals get frustrated in life and blame corporations. Conservatives get frustrated in life and blame the government. Neither is perfect, but people should spend much more time thanking their lucky stars that we live in an advanced democratic capitalist society. People have tried to fix the problems in both of those words from time to time in history with uniformly disastrous results.

[–]ohoona 1 point2 points ago

Although I agree with your post as a whole, the world would be a much better place if the common man understood why he hated giant corporations and government, alas we lack the understanding and communication skills to truly discuss and solve the issues with our society, so we express our discontent sporadically with no real motive to change anything.

[–]ford8820 1 point2 points ago

#OWS

[–]ohoona 0 points1 point ago

Touché.

[–]Thewhitebread 4 points5 points ago

Right on the money. People tend to forget that in the grand scheme of things American problems aren't that terrible of problems to have. And while that doesn't mean we should settle for the way things are or shouldn't strive to fix the many flaws in our system and way of life, sometimes people need to learn to keep things in perspective before demonizing "the man".

[–]tehgreatblade 0 points1 point ago

Dude, fucking this. Thank you. Upvoted for reading my fucking mind.

[–]Alphabetizer -1 points0 points ago

200-300 a advanced against ago airplanes all all almost ALWAYS always an and any are argument as bad be Because been Belonging blame both but capitalism capitalist cars charity church Churches comfort community community Conservatives corporations couldn't creatures democratic demonize difficult disastrous do don't done drivers easy etc etc Without even fix food for forget from frustrated get good goods government granted Corporations happiness have history Hobbesian humans I imaginable in institutions internet invaluable iPhones is is It it kind law less Liberals life like live lucky main members military more much Neither of one or other penicillin people People perfect powerful problems provide provided public requirement results ritual roads rule see should similar social society soon spend stars strong take than thanking that The the their them these they thing things things think This those tight-knit time to toothpaste tradition tried two uniformly very want war we wealth whenever which will with words would years

[–]Difflicious 4 points5 points ago

God, I made it to the C's before I realized I was reading nonsense. Just another redditor with bad grammer.... oh, wait

[–]Threedawg 1 point2 points ago

You forgot J,Q,U,X,Y and Z

[–]JosiahJohnson 0 points1 point ago

It's like playing a game of "Which of these things do not belong?". The answer: when small businesses get strong enough to coerce us to do things we don't want to do or fuck us over with no recourse. Which is what the other three have in common. Power and numbers to effect our laws.

Edit: Someone help me out, here. I thought liberals liked small businesses? Buy local? You enjoy your locally owned tea shops and book stores and shit. Or are we now villainizing them for some reason?

[–]luftwaffle0 29 points30 points ago

No, see if she didn't want to get her pillow stolen and then punched in the face for protesting, she can always just leave her seat! So by sitting there she actually AGREED to have it stolen!

[–]Durpadoo 2 points3 points ago

That's retard logic if I've ever seen any.

[–]thedude37 8 points9 points ago

That's the social contract.

[–]mrhhug 2 points3 points ago

yes, it is retarded. try not getting on the ground when a cop falsly accuses you and has a gun at you... try it, try it!

[–]ThatIsMyHat 4 points5 points ago

No, the government would have made her fill out a "pillow redistribution" form.

[–]stanfan114 1 point2 points ago

WAKE UP SHEEPLE. RON PAUL.

[–]ProximaC 3 points4 points ago

No, it totally is. That's why I never bring my pillow with me when I go to the bank.

[–]mrhhug 0 points1 point ago

i have that pillow its so good you want to take it everywhere.

[–]Dr_Insanity 0 points1 point ago

Maybe that's where op when wrong.

[–]princetrunks -4 points-3 points ago

Yeah, if it was a bank, they would have opened the side hatch, taken the whole chair with passenger attached and thrown them out...most of the passengers would then be sucked out the side of the plane from the depressurization while the remaining passengers would be forced to pay for the repairs.

...

wow.. either 1) Banksters and their brown-nosing cronies are raiding r/OWS or 2) People can't take a joke... or both

[–]mightbebrunk -5 points-4 points ago

Comment that says "that's not how banks work :(" gets 148 points but doesn't even explain how banks work.

Fractional reserve banking

Banks lend out money they don't have; they create money out of thin air. You put your ten dollars in the bank, the bank lends out most of it. If we all go to the bank at once to get our money withdrawn, the Federal Reserve will just print new dollars to pay off all the deposits.

This is the root cause of all of our problems. What would you do if you could create money out of thin air?

[–]jaiiiii 6 points7 points ago

they don't print money...if a bank is running low they go to borrow money from other depository institutions that currently have surpluses. In the worst case, they borrow directly from the fed at a higher interest rate than if they had to borrow from another depository institution.

In order to keep interest rates level, the Fed might introduce some more money, but they can just as easily take money out of the system. At the same time, they can shift money from one part of the system to the other without actually increasing the money supply (sterilized funds).

Everything isn't as cut and dry as you would make it appear.

[–]mightbebrunk 2 points3 points ago

They don't literally print it. They press buttons on a computer to digitally increase balances at the Fed. The Fed Funds rate is near zero percent. The discount window rate is about.75% the last time I checked.

You have no idea what you're talking about. Real interest rates are negative. The Federal Reserve's balance sheet has increased to an unprecedented 2.x trillion dollars. They gave free money to those institutions to buy the mortgaged-backed securities. They print money to buy the debt from the Treasury. They print money to keep interest rates artificially low.

The Fed prints that money they "lend out", again the phrase "printing money" is used loosely in our digital age. Then those institutions take that artificially cheap money and arbitrage other markets. The Fed's QE and ZIRP are the only reasons the stock markets are up.

[–]jaiiiii 3 points4 points ago

I know that they don't literally print money. They can either use sterilized funds, or conduct open market operations in order to increase/decrease the supply.

Real interest rates are negative. But that doesn't mean the Fed doesn't want to keep them within a certain band. This is done by controlling the money supply and therefore the nominal interest rate.

If you look at the institutions involved in open market operations with the Fed, you'll see that nearly all of the money added to the system is kept within excess reserves, not used for arbitrage operations. In addition, the entire reason for QE and ZIRP was to promote economic activity, a sign of which is an improving stock market.

I'm not sure what exactly you're trying to say by stating all these things.

[–]Cforq 5 points6 points ago

They don't instantly create that money - they have the capacity to create up to that amount.

Also the system is only a problem if too many of the loans they give out aren't paid back.

Personally I think it is a great system, and I have yet to encounter another system that allows for rapid growth and development.

[–]mightbebrunk -1 points0 points ago

Rapid growth and development leads to an unsustainable system. This fractional reserve banking system does allow for that, but it gives us problems like over-population, climate change, over-use of freshwater and other natural resources.

It's nothing different than what has happened throughout history. This system allows us to use and exploit the "low-hanging fruit" the fastest; unfortunately, now that we are running out of low-hanging fruit, this system hinges on the brink of collapse.

[–]Cforq 1 point2 points ago

But fractional reserve banking is not dependent on rapid growth and development. And development can be sustainable. Obviously rapid growth is not sustainable long term, but again fractional reserve banking does not require rapid growth - in periods of slow growth banks will respond with lower interest on savings and higher interest on loans.

[–]mightbebrunk 1 point2 points ago

It's not just fractional reserve banking. It's also interest rates that are set by a central authority. If the markets were allowed to determine interest rates, rates would rise before massive bubbles were formed.

Our system, as it currently stands, requires ever more growth. Even if the real economy cannot grow, credit cannot be allowed to contract or the banking system freezes up and collapses - like during the Great Depression. That's why the Fed and other central banks are engaging in programs like QE and ZIRP.

They are forcing interest remains to remain artificially low.

[–]atheoizero 2 points3 points ago

Actually you put $10 in the bank and they can lend out $90. They DO create money out of thin air. I can then take the $90 the bank loaned me, deposit it in another bank and guess what? That bank can lend $810 to someone else.

[–]iateone 2 points3 points ago

Do I not understand fractional reserve lending, or do you not? If you put $10 in the bank they can lend $9. Then the person who got the $9 puts it in the bank they can then lend $8.10. Then the person who got the $8.10 puts it in the bank and they can lend $7.29. Then the person who got the $7.29 puts it in the bank and they can lend $6.56. Then the person who got the $6.56 puts it in the bank and they can lend $5.90. If you sum this sequence it comes to $90. So the total able to be lent out from the original $10 is $90, but you've already used all of your fractional reserve with the $90, and you can't use it to lend $810 to someone else because to get to the $90 in the first place, with a 10% requirement, you have already used your reserve and can't loan more on it.

[–]TFSC2 1 point2 points ago

thank you for being the only person in this entire thread that's taken an econ course in the past 200 years.

[–]atheoizero 0 points1 point ago

Maybe you should watch the video i posted or read Modern Money Mechanics. I think you're confused or misinformed.

[–]HuckFippies 1 point2 points ago

Actually that doesn't even happen anymore. Basically banks seek loans and then will find the deposit ratio to match if they are low but the reserve ratio is so low that it really doesn't matter. The restriction on bank lending is really finding worthy borrowers willing to borrow not reserve ratios. Source? I can't remember but a really interesting article that showed how if a bank approached the reserve ratio limits they had numerous relatively easy options to obtain more deposits.

[–]atheoizero 1 point2 points ago

[–]mightbebrunk 0 points1 point ago

Yes, that's true in a way.

But, I was thinking more in terms of how that specific balance sheet I linked to shows cash and central bank reserves versus demand deposits. If everyone demanded their deposits back right now, the bank only has a fraction of their cash. When the bank makes a loan, that loan becomes its asset.

Theoretically they will only make loans they think will be paid back, but the government encouraged them to make bad loans.

[–]Im_white_and_spoiled -1 points0 points ago

Banks lend out money they don't have; they create money out of thin air. You put your ten dollars in the bank, the bank lends out most of it.

That isn't actually a bad thing, I hope you understand that.

[–]mightbebrunk -1 points0 points ago

It actually is because it assumes the economy can grow exponentially forever.

And, since about 1964 real wages have remained stagnant, so the gap to maintain that standard of living has been filled in with credit.

The People are now debt slaves.

[–]mbm693 2 points3 points ago

The economy has continued to grow during that period, all the gains just went to the top. This is a regulation failure, not an indictment of the entire system.

[–]mightbebrunk 1 point2 points ago

Yes, the economy has "grown" but not nearly enough.

Subtract the deficit from the GDP calculation and that's an indication of where we really are.

The Federal government is having much of its debt monetized.

The gains mostly went to the top because the top can take advantage of the increasing money supply in our financialized economy.

[–]mbm693 0 points1 point ago

Subtracting the deficit from gdp is nonsensical.

Those at the top retained the growth because of structural advantages in our tax and labor laws. They should be taxed more heavily and the proceeds should be spent on social programs like health care for children.

[–]HuckFippies 1 point2 points ago

I don't understand what regulation we are missing that would fix this. It seems more like a systemic problem. Those who have first access to capital (especially those with first access and an implicit guarantee that no matter how reckless and stupid they are they will get access to more) will have a ridiculous advantage when you allow money to be created counterfeited.

[–]mbm693 0 points1 point ago

The implicit guarantee can be addressed by never allowing a company to become too big to fail. Reinstating glass stegall would be an excellent start. A higher minimum wage indexed to inflation would also ensure that much of the wealth gains will remain well distributed.

[–]Dr_Insanity 0 points1 point ago

Fund research into space travel.

[–]Darktidemage 52 points53 points ago

I put my money in a bank, they give me interest and allow me to write checks which is very convenient.

What part of this GIF indicates the completely voluntary aspect of interacting with a bank?

[–]majorshake 23 points24 points ago

She was probably a fascist anyway.

[–]bumassjp 10 points11 points ago

STAY OUTTA MALIBU YA BUM!

[–]BoojiBoy 14 points15 points ago

I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior. And I don't like you, jerk-off!

[–]bumassjp 6 points7 points ago

Yea well that's like, ... your opinion man.

[–]lanboyo 6 points7 points ago

I'm sorry I wasn't listening.

[–]spitfire8125 1 point2 points ago

STAY OUTTA MALIBU, DEADBEAT!

[–]NimX3 2 points3 points ago

SHE WAS A TERRORIST!!!!

[–]majorshake 0 points1 point ago

in any case, the guy deserved the pillow a lot more, and she should have been grateful it was only a warning punch :P

[–]Cristal1337 7 points8 points ago

Source of this Gif.

Unfortunately it's in German.

[–]Trigunesq 91 points92 points ago

Yeah banks suck! They are terrible! Can I have my karma now?

[–]Big-Baby-Jesus 38 points39 points ago

You know who else steals pillows? The TSA!

[–]Exavion 20 points21 points ago

I heard EA will give you pillows, but it only comes if you pre-order limited edition flights!

[–]Shootsucka 16 points17 points ago

Yeah man! I hate when they allow people to take loans out for things they can't purchase outright! Fucking scumbags!

[–]JFMechdude 4 points5 points ago

So BRAVE!

[–]thechosen2 0 points1 point ago

Why do people want karma?

[–]JmjFu 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that's deep.

DO NOT QUESTION THE HIVEMIND.

[–]thechosen2 0 points1 point ago

IT IS A SERIOUS QUESTION

[–]ifoundthishilarious 9 points10 points ago

If she couldn't afford the pillow, she should have never tried to buy it. It would have been smarter for the bank, however, to renegotiate the contracts on said pillow to better represent the decreasing value of pillows everywhere. That way banks could have continued making money on all of the pillows as opposed to being stuck with pillows and getting bailed out by all of the people (including previous pillow owners) because said pillows couldn't be sold.

The money used to bail out the banks could have instead been used to bail out the people considering the banks got to keep the houses and tax payers' dollars (including the people that were forced to give the bank their homes).

[–]ireland123 30 points31 points ago

Fell like I just walked into an OWS camp.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

except the comments here are slightly more coherent, and there isn't a musk of BO and ejaculate in the air

[–]ireland123 7 points8 points ago

Questionable..

[–]speciaaaalk 19 points20 points ago

This would make sense if she handed him her pillow willingly and then he punched her in the face.

[–]YesAsInGenghis 17 points18 points ago

That guy sitting next to him doing nothing must be Congress.

[–]hrabib 2 points3 points ago

Annnnd it's GONE!

[–]Saxifrage_Russell 5 points6 points ago

What is this from?

[–]drizzt5 1 point2 points ago

Only reason I came into comments... answer plz?

[–]CiderDrinker 2 points3 points ago

No. Banks would steal the pillow, punch you, and then send you a bill, with interest, itemised with a PRC (pillow relocation charge) and a PSF (punching service fee).

We should nationalise the banks (most of which has been done already, thanks to the bail out) and then mutualise them as non-profit credit unions.

[–]RuafaolGaiscioch 2 points3 points ago

Anyone notice that the guy next to him is taking it so casually...like, "Oh, he just punched a helpless old lady...I wonder what's for sale in Skymall this week?"

[–]abbasaamer 9 points10 points ago

Except I have at least two friends that have around $150K of cash saved up and decided to forclose on their houses to avoid the loss of their depreciated property.

Yeah, banks suck, but the legal system in the U.S. also allows people to get out of paying their obligations too easily.

This kind of leniency doesn't seem to exist in many other countries. I lived in Singapore about a year ago and their system would not let you get out of paying an underwater home (you can't just declare bankruptcy - you have to legally keep paying a certain amount from your paycheck until the loan is finished off). Since the banks have less risk, they pass on those savings to consumers; home loan rates are like 1% there.

[–]HuckFippies 4 points5 points ago

The bank knew the rules when they made the loan. Perhaps they should have asked for 20% down. Actually, perhaps they shouldn't have been creating the conditions for housing to be overvalued by giving out no doc loans to anyone with a pulse then complaining when the very market they juiced collapsed. I fail to see how institutions whose justification for existence (and special access to capital) is that they study and understand the risks to the markets they enter can be "responsible" and those who are protecting their assets by using the legal framework that previously existed are "irresponsible".

[–]ford8820 0 points1 point ago

So they failed to self-regulate when regulation was unclear (along with the government shoving delinquent loan-giving down their throats and inflating the money supply by setting IRs too low), and so it's their fault?

It's our fault in not having strong regulatory bodies, but that doesn't mean we should be anti-economy. A lot of people who like Romney don't want to pay the economic price of electing a democrat (not considering regulatory differences), still leaving the option open to move somewhere where the bogus federal social restrictions of the republican party are mitigated by state law.

It's not about responsibility; I don't see how that has anything to do with it. Banks offer a service that you don't have to have, and the banks that received bailout money (which is bogus I agree but the obvious answer is that people didn't want to risk the unknown, hence the too-big-to-fail name) will be splitting up soon due to new restrictions on trading on your own books that will certainly pass due to the JMPC failure. It's not so black and white, I don't think.

[–]HuckFippies 0 points1 point ago

For what it is worth, I think the banks aren't/weren't regulated enough is a red herring argument that the democrats have taken and run with. Banking is one of the most regulated industries in America. The banks were regulated by the Federal Reserve, the member banks of the Federal Reserve, the SEC, the FDIC, the Office of Comptroller of the Currency, the Office of Thrift Supervision, the Federal Financial Institutions Examinations Council, as well as state banking regulatory agencies not to mention having to conform loans to our quasi-government lending institutions Freddie and Fannie and sell these loans in bundles that were rated by a government appointed credit ratings agencies. Bottom line is banks know that they can always out maneuver regulators so they sell the pro-gov't anti-business crowd (mostly democrats) the line that all would have been better had they been more regulated. At the same time they are selling a bunch of "we need to be competitive" crap to republicans. I hope you are right and there is some real teeth coming to end to big to fail, but I doubt it since the too big to fail banks are bigger now than they were pre crisis. Further, I can't see how anyone at anytime thought is was a good idea to allow banks to gamble with depositor's money (heads they win, tails the taxpayers bail them out). I am not as confident as you are that this will be eliminated because the banks own our politicians.

[–]Bloodhound01 4 points5 points ago

hey! My brother did that, do they live in california? He gets bad credit for 2 years, and then hes clean. So basically he is just renting for a couple years.

[–]abbasaamer 0 points1 point ago

Nope. One in a suburb of Philadelphia and one in a suburb of Seattle.

[–]truedemocracy 0 points1 point ago

property doesn't depreciate unless they are using their land to mine coal, drill oil, or something similar

[–]abbasaamer 0 points1 point ago

Umm, try visiting the Midwest regions of the United States and see how well that theory holds.

If we think of the underlying reason why property, or any other resource, appreciates, it's due to demand. Property does seem to keep appreciating over long periods because we've had such huge population growth.

But this is not an invariant. In some places, we do have population decline and those areas have depreciating land prices. That's what ghost towns do by definition; and this is happening in parts of the modern world where suburbia is being destroyed by people moving to urban centers.

Also, I read a report (called "The End of Population Growth" by Sanjeev Sanyal, published by Deutsche Bank) which makes a fairly convincing case for why we could have a decline in population in several parts of the world. Those areas are quite likely to experience drops in property prices as well.

[–]truedemocracy 0 points1 point ago

not really a theory so much as Generally Accepted Accounting Principles

[–]abbasaamer 0 points1 point ago

Hmm, alright, fair enough. I have an MBA from a top school, so I'm decently familiar with GAAP/IFRS, but what I was referring to here was not to depreciation in the accounting sense of the word, but in terms of market value.

Maybe there is some miscommunication here, but accounting depreciation is not something that concerns me in this situation. If people went by GAAP depreciation, they woud never forclose on their homes (as long as they could make the payments, as is the case with the 2 people I know) because their homes would still be above water and they'd have lost nothing; which would make my whole point totally moot in the first place.

(edit: grammar)

[–]justspinninmywheels 19 points20 points ago

As a bank, I resent this sentiment.

Also, I took the liberty to charge you $15.00 for failing to keep your minimum balance above $100.00 after I charged you $45.00 for writing a check. You can appeal the decision but it will cost you a $23.00 application fee plus $6.00 expedition fee to make sure it's processed before the next $15.00 minimum balance fee is due.

[–]mandyperki 7 points8 points ago

I've met banks like you, trying to charge me $50 to open a checking account. WTF is that shit?! I'll do some extra driving to get to a branch of one of my local banks, one of which gave me a cooler for opening an account and neither of which has ever cared if I want to have 48 cents in my account.

[–]Old-Hickory 13 points14 points ago

trying to charge me $50 to open a checking account

Just say no.

I don't see why reddit goes off like this. Step one) Go to bank

Step two) Ask to open an account

Step three) read all the options they have, seriously READ THEM. Seriously know every way they can charge you.

Step four a) If happy with account, open it and make sure you never do anything that'll let them charge you

Step four b) If none of their accounts look good to you, don't open one there. Go to next bank.

[–]Strideo 5 points6 points ago

What?! You expect me to read? You expect me to make myself into an informed consumer? You want me to attain some level of financial literacy in order to cope with the world on my own?

Nah, fuck that! I'll just sit here and complain about how the government hasn't fixed things so I don't have to read or educate myself in order to avoid getting ripped off.

[–]ohwhatsinaname 5 points6 points ago

I'm with you. I have an account with BoA (evil, I know), and the conversation went something like this: BoA: Does your job offer direct deposit? Me: Yep. BoA: Sweet, here's free checking.

[–]vahntitrio 1 point2 points ago

Cannot agree more. Based on reddit you would think Wells Fargo is Satan himself. But in my 9 or so years with them only once did I have a problem (my college free checking defaulted back to the not-so-free checking sometime after graduation). But that was reversed with a single trip to the bank (they upgraded my account since I met all the requirements, and refunded the fees). I was out 20 minutes of my time but I did end up with a better interest rate on my savings...

[–]mandyperki 0 points1 point ago

I did say no. I was just flabbergasted at the amount, mostly because I was accustomed to my local banks that have no such fee and instead give you a gift.

[–]Daman09 1 point2 points ago

US Bank has never fucked me over. They have made charges that were unjustified, sure, but they always reversed then when I went in to complain.

Also, they don't give a shit if I have 48 cents in my account.

[–]vita_man 2 points3 points ago

Hey now! "We have the right to make a profit" - Brian Moynihan (CEO of Bank of America) AKA We need that money to pay our executives millions of dollars so we can continue to think of new ways to fuck poorer consumers

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]iateone 1 point2 points ago

They don't have the right to make a profit. They have the right to attempt to make a profit.

[–]almondj -1 points0 points ago

The purpose of the overdraft is to encourage people to keep their bank accounts with a little bit of cash in them. It's a federal offense to overdraw your account, in a way, it's for your protection, to keep you from breaking the law. Now where wells fargo charges $45 for an overdraft fee, and some banks charge more, that's a bit bullshit and kind of defeats the point.

[–]justspinninmywheels 0 points1 point ago

"Overdraft Protection" is an optional feature. I told my bank to turn it off. Now if I ever don't have the cash to make the payment, the card gets declined. No problem, no fee.

That's sort of a moot point anyways though because I use credit for everything and pay it off at the end of the month. That way you get those sweet sweet rewards points.

[–]almondj 0 points1 point ago

Exactly, although I don't believe all banks offer that feature. Seems like most banks just enable that feature by default for obvious reasons: an easy way to make money.

[–][deleted] ago

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[–]HuckFippies -4 points-3 points ago

Just wait. If the economy turns (due to reckless bank lending), the bank will have no sympathy if you miss your payments. The bank however will get a bailout with the tax dollars you earned during the previous years while paying interest on your loan. It's kind of like you are sleeping on a plane and then somebody grabs your pillow...then punches you in the face.

Edit: added a thought.

[–]Piss_Legislator 1 point2 points ago

Lets say the economy turns and I cannot make the payments. This means I had a fairly shitty business plan and my monthly payments are far to high (a payment amount that was negotiated and signed by the bank and I) compared to my gross profit. The bank will move in to get its money and I will have to go in a different direction in my business life - I read the terms of the loan many times - next time I will just need a better business plan/better implementation/better luck.

[–]moviefreak11 46 points47 points ago

give a man a gun and he can rob a bank. give a man a bank and he can rob the world

[–]I_POTATO_PEOPLE 85 points86 points ago

give a bank and gun and he can man a rob

[–]Pit_of_Death 30 points31 points ago

As a Rob, I resent this.

[–]SniperTooL 2 points3 points ago

From now on you shall be referred to as Resentful Rob! Have at thee!

[–]InABritishAccent 3 points4 points ago

I bet I can man a rob faster than you can rob a man.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 2 points3 points ago

Rob must be swift as a coursing river

with all the force of a great typhoon

[–]Rob1150 3 points4 points ago

As a Rob, I can confirm this.

[–]_DevilsAdvocate 2 points3 points ago

Give a man your pillow and he won't punch your face in.

[–]Purple_Streak 0 points1 point ago

Not like banks fund everything or anything.

[–]DangerMouseToby 5 points6 points ago

It's like south park 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaand its gone'

[–]spattem 7 points8 points ago

Well if you hadnt bought the pillow with a bank loan you couldn't repay with the set interest rate then you deserve to have it repossessed.

[–]BeerWarden 1 point2 points ago

Mo' pillows, mo' problems?

[–]Fwdslash1 1 point2 points ago

They leave you uncomfortable and facehurt?

[–]smellyguy23 1 point2 points ago

How 9/11 began...

[–]eraserad 1 point2 points ago

I recognize the swift hand of RBC. Bravo.

[–]BruceCambridge 1 point2 points ago

Bitch probably deserved it for reclining into his knees.

[–]IAmAtomato 1 point2 points ago

Techincally it'd be the old lady giving the guy her pillow, and then him punching her.

[–]DiaDeLosMuertos 1 point2 points ago

Well you give them your pillow and they give you 1% divided by 12 pillow every month. And if they riskfully invest your pillow and loose it then you're a sucker.

[–]ratzi1991 1 point2 points ago

I love Michael Kessler :)

[–]nomatt18 1 point2 points ago

This is me entering the work force right out of college.

[–]chicknsammich 1 point2 points ago

Thanks to Reddit, I was expecting a freeze frame with Deal With It sunglasses

[–]Ausderdose 1 point2 points ago

kessler's knigge for live :D

[–]mormontroll 1 point2 points ago

Watching old ladies get punched in the face shouldn't be this funny.

[–]phatboi 1 point2 points ago

...And it's gone

[–]K1ngAstaroth 1 point2 points ago

best tv show ever!

[–]reeru 1 point2 points ago

DEAL WITH IT!

[–]NINJACAT77 1 point2 points ago

Alright, Andrew Jackson,

[–]voidaq 1 point2 points ago

You forgot to include the part where he calls security and tells them to arrest her for assaulting his fist with her face.

[–]Singular_Thought 2 points3 points ago

He earned that pillow through his exertion of reaching for it and grabbing it.

If he loses the pillow, she will be responsible for replacing it for him or he will throw something through the airlock window.

[–]TitusA 3 points4 points ago

I thought this was Ryan Stilies. At least I really wanted it to be.

[–]JustSmall 2 points3 points ago

It's Michael Kessler , a german comedian.

[–]Italian_Barrel_Roll 2 points3 points ago

You have never actually been in a bank, have you?

[–]HotPinkScrunchie 2 points3 points ago

Am I the only one around here that doesn't have a problem with the banks? Boo hoo, they charge u a $15 service fee once and a while. That's life man. They also allow me to not hold on to piles of cash, pay with a debit/credit card, stay liquid, have access to loans and credit cards, earn interest, invest in products I belive in and keep track of my spending easily. Necessary evil, they're providing a service to the community.

So no, that's not how banks work. That's how finanially uneducated people think the banks work.

[–]Cptn_Hook 1 point2 points ago

Ryan Stiles' improv has taken an unexpectedly dark turn.

[–]UnfunnyExplainer 1 point2 points ago

It's funny because it's a metaphor for how poor people feel about banks.

[–]atheoizero 1 point2 points ago

Physical slavery requires people to be housed and fed. Economic slavery requires people to feed and house themselves.

[–]derpybanker 1 point2 points ago

Actually, the bank would be the guy in the window seat. The woman (customer) is delinquent on her loan (that she used to buy the pillow). The aggressor is the repo company we hired to get our pillow back. Finally we decided that the repo company would pay us more for the pillow than we would get by auctioning it off to the other passengers- so he gets the pillow. So yeh... i'm bored at work right now.

[–]SpankySausage 0 points1 point ago

I just got my iTunes account hacked by the Chinese, so I can relate to the theft theme of this gif. God damn Chinese.

[–]FlossDiligently 2 points3 points ago

You could just not give them your money and not ask them for any money either, I suppose.

[–]Negative-KarmaRecord 1 point2 points ago

Banks are the pride and joy of America and I proudly support them along with the police and Hollywood's effort to stop piracy!

[–]studlychris 0 points1 point ago

This just cheered me up. Thanks. By the way I'm going to hell for laughing at this. Lol.

[–]alltwo147 0 points1 point ago

Devon Banks?

[–]DVSSTOMMYC 0 points1 point ago

It looks like Jeremy Kyle

[–]devils0508 1 point2 points ago

Feel free to move to a country without a working banking system, take note that they are all hellish sh*tholes.

[–]lostrock 0 points1 point ago

That is one of the weakest fake punches I have ever seen.

EDIT: I mean, really. I'm not complaining because it's fake (of course it is, I've been trained in hand-to-hand stage combat and know how it works). I'm complaining because the guy didn't put enough energy into the punch and made it look more fake than it should have.

[–]smalleyes 0 points1 point ago

Wheres the part where they charge you for getting punched?

[–]RimmyMcJob 2 points3 points ago

They call it an "overdraft fee."

[–]kiwitron 0 points1 point ago

Too true. We have to stop them. There are probably only about 100 people in the world right now who have almost all of the money. I'd like to say that they don't know what they're doing, but they do, and they're evil, and we can stop them. Imagine if we just stopped doing stuff...

[–]Zeppelanoid 0 points1 point ago

Do me a favour and put all of your money under your mattress. Let me know how that works for you.

[–]pjhollow 0 points1 point ago

If you don't like banks, then don't use them. It's that simple.

[–]Purple_Streak 0 points1 point ago

[–]nlgodd -3 points-2 points ago

This should have been titled How Government Works. No bank or business has ever forcibly taken your money/property. The government does this every day.

[–]antisoshal -1 points0 points ago

Wrong. Governments do it more visibly. Banks will buy your government, then using their purchase, forcibly insert themselves into virtually every transaction in society. Unless you live on a sustainable farm with no outside resources, you pay banks. Every item you buy leave a long trail of commercial credit, finance and transaction fees. You can avoid borrowing money from them directly, but they WILL make a profit, and if the profit on lending to individuals drops, they will raise the margin on every other transaction. Every item now on your person that you didn't grow or raise yourself made several banks money. Should that system be endangered, they will simply buy the rule of law required to protect their viability. In all of history, the only thing that has ever broken that chain of process has been armed revolution, and in most cases even those made banks money: Armed revolution and war are simply "banks" gambling against each other in most cases. Please keep in mind I use the word bank as a descriptor for the entities themselves, not the literal building on the corner.

[–]nlgodd 0 points1 point ago

So in order to buy the government the banks held a gun to their head? Or maybe the government was just incompetent and allowed it to happen. The blame is still on the government, not banks.

[–]Roadrunner99 -1 points0 points ago

And then they steal your money.