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top 200 commentsshow all 411

[–][deleted] 107 points108 points ago

Usually when I see a black woman and 4chan in the same context, things end very, very poorly.

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points ago

Poorly

Amazingly.

[–]barset 30 points31 points ago

There's also usually a bucket of KFC on the end of a fishing line and/or watermelons.

[–]Witloof 9 points10 points ago

Hence: Amazingly.

[–]MewSeventeen 1 point2 points ago

Last night:

Pic of Gabourey Sidibe, "There are no hot black women. They don't exist. Prove me wrong /b."

[–]hightimess 399 points400 points ago

am i a horrible person for wanting a sub reddit devoted to confident black women?

EDIT: http://www.reddit.com/r/GhettoBooty/

[–]FarmerTedd 121 points122 points ago

Nice try Oprah

[–]brtlblayk 30 points31 points ago

Nice try Shirley Bennett

FTFY

[–]nicholstristan 27 points28 points ago

That's nice!

[–]Germanvuvuzela 3 points4 points ago

You funny, like Oprah!

[–]vheed44 340 points341 points ago

Not at all. My dream is to have a big fat sassy black lady as my secretary. I don't need no hot young thing, my big lady is more than enough. I also want her to be named Bernice. Ah yes, Bernice would complete my life, with her sassiness and loud can-do attitude.

[–]what_american_dream 219 points220 points ago

[–]NonViolentWar 52 points53 points ago

That caught me so off guard, it's unfair.

[–]studmuffffffin 264 points265 points ago

MMMM-HMMM

[–]Terps34 39 points40 points ago

I have one at my work. I win.

[–]vheed44 43 points44 points ago

You have true wealth

[–]Cantree 1 point2 points ago

Oh I've been looking ages for one!! Where did you buy yours from?

[–]Terps34 1 point2 points ago

Oh, no sir. You're sorely mistaken. You don't buy one. You earn one.

[–]6xoe 45 points46 points ago

She can advise you on matters of casual racism.

[–]notjawn 2 points3 points ago

Even better get a Mammy even though you are a grown man.

[–]canthidecomments 8 points9 points ago

Think of the fried chicken she'd bring in.

(Not a racist comment. Big fat confident black women make the absolute best fried chicken, snap.)

[–]Tyaedalis 1 point2 points ago

This is true. Boy, am I hungry.

[–]Getternon 2 points3 points ago

We totally have a sassy black lady as our ER manager at work. She mans the front desk and is the epitome of attitude. Her name is Theosha and she is an incredible person.

[–]mangosquatch 8 points9 points ago

Dude, I had to sign in just to tell you that you are fucking hilarious. Whatever it is that you eat for breakfast, continue eating that just in case that's what makes your sense of humour so fresh. This guy, man. This guy.

[–]JohnofArc 1 point2 points ago

I work with exactly that person. Trust me, it can be a handful.

[–]tel 1 point2 points ago

I was really afraid for a moment that you were bozarking...

[–]squirrel45399 1 point2 points ago

I forgot to upvote this comment so I spent the past 3 hours trying to nibble it

[–]ReallyObvious 1 point2 points ago

Can this guy be in the picture somewhere?

[–]idontafraid 0 points1 point ago

This is beautiful.

[–]glassesjacketshirt 0 points1 point ago

I read that in peter griffins voice

[–]malakies 0 points1 point ago

Bernice Jenkins?

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

So you want to live in a sitcom?

[–]Mr_Titicaca 0 points1 point ago

I was hoping your initial two sentences would lead towards some big black ass talk around here. I'm very disappointed.

[–]beefsnacks 9 points10 points ago

[–]goxilo 24 points25 points ago

There are probably several.

Also: yes, a little bit.

[–]chetnrot 12 points13 points ago

[–]twigbot 10 points11 points ago

There doesn't seem to be anything there.

[–]-Faith- 16 points17 points ago

Well, there is /r/blackfathers.

How it has 1,960 readers is beyond me. Also over a year old.

Edit: 1,978 a day later.

[–]Totlin 16 points17 points ago

You need to get clearance to post there, and the mod won't let anyone have it to continue the joke.

[–]PureQuixotry 4 points5 points ago

That's a terrible fucking joke. Be right back, my spleen just broke.

[–]Eats_Beef_Steak 1 point2 points ago

Hey!

Your a poet and you didn't even realize it. Crazy crackas thought I was gonna say "know", didn't ya?

[–]I_MAKE_USERNAMES 2 points3 points ago

but... they're not there!

[–]mega_beef 1 point2 points ago

[–]stop_being-a-dick 1 point2 points ago

There's /r/blackgirls

[–]cuddlimaus 2 points3 points ago

you'll be lucky to even get a meme.

[–]BallsackTBaghard -2 points-1 points ago

Confident black women = fat black women

[–]u83rmensch -1 points0 points ago

probably, but that would likely not be the reason for your horrible status.

[–]mrsdale 152 points153 points ago

I just thought this was funny. Folks 'round here need to lighten up.

[–]Lawlliipop 102 points103 points ago

Ain't nobody got time for that.

[–]FarmerTedd 15 points16 points ago

Surely everyone has seen it already

[–]Speedingturtle 11 points12 points ago

I prefer this one.

[–]chittozo_gato 15 points16 points ago

amen to that

[–]spreadeaglebeagle 6 points7 points ago

It seems like a lot of people just get off on being buzzkills.

[–]Thumbz8 6 points7 points ago

Let me tell you a story of my bottle cap collection.

[–]_shadrach_ 0 points1 point ago

Basically it's this situation.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]HectorBaboso 10 points11 points ago

Sir, what are you talking about

[–]DeepFriedChildren 0 points1 point ago

wrong comment, lol.

[–]jsr0213 11 points12 points ago

Whenever I go on 4chan: http://i.imgur.com/calQ8.gif

[–][deleted] 101 points102 points ago

Are people SERIOUSLY trying to start faith arguments over a funny picture of a black woman?

fucking hell what tragic lives you live...

[–]Hamshanks 25 points26 points ago

woman*

...

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

[–]frumpi 2 points3 points ago

i thought back said black lol

[–]anonymoustroll 4 points5 points ago

once you have my black, you never can go back

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

In this post I am going to tell you why shouting "SERIOUSLY", swearing and calling people tragic was unwarranted because of the top 26 comments, none of them fit the accusation you are making here.

Just looked through the top 26 comments, took me until the 27th to make it to a faith argument post (about how we should respect Jesus because apparently he was a figure or moral justice or something). Yet in those 26 comments, there are three that complain about the people from r/atheism.

In summary, of the top 26 comments here, none are atheists complaining, but three of them are people complaining about faith arguments (two of them targeting atheists in particular).

[–]Richie77727 7 points8 points ago

People on /r/atheism need to chill the fuck out.

[–]N2KTachko 111 points112 points ago

All you complaining atheists in here, u motha fuckas need Jesus.

[–]FlutterDash00 1 point2 points ago

Dontellmewhattodo.

[–]ImmortalWarBear 2 points3 points ago

Who is Don?

[–]FlutterDash00 1 point2 points ago

Vito Corleone.

[–]free2bEmma 38 points39 points ago

This is wonderfully hilarious. And it's true, people need to lighten up a bit.

[–]kolm 5 points6 points ago

I'll give it a try. One Jesus, please!

[–]pseudalithia 73 points74 points ago

It is quite possible that this person simply thought it was funny. I think it is hilarious regardless of personal beliefs of mine. Anyways, I would imagine if OP was making a religious statement; the word "mothafuckas" would not be present, as it somewhat contradicts the message they were trying to make.

[–]Sandmanifest 36 points37 points ago

Yeah this got a good laugh out of me, I came to the comments section with my popcorn to watch people take it seriously. Weeeee

[–]electricfoxx 28 points29 points ago

[–]killiangray 1 point2 points ago

LIES FROM THE WOLF!

[–]anonymoustroll 0 points1 point ago

unfortunate corner case exception to the wadsworth constant...

[–]Zlibservacratican -4 points-3 points ago

Never thought ATHF would be down voted on reddit. This subreddit must be really religious.

[–]yobobly 18 points19 points ago

3 DOWNVOTES SO MANY DOWNVOTES

[–]NabroleonDynamite 3 points4 points ago

lol jesus guys don't look into this so much. It's just a joke. Seriously i'm baked and even i can just figure that out.

[–]Leonardis 23 points24 points ago

Does anyone else see Sherley from community in this or is it just me?

[–]Scenro 2 points3 points ago

This is who I thought when I saw the pic. Upvote for my vote in agreeing!

[–]CreekRunner 0 points1 point ago

I read it in her voice.

[–]8271821 12 points13 points ago

4chan is not /b/. It's like coming here and saying reddit needs jesus because of /r/spacedicks

[–]Navevan 2 points3 points ago

Exactly, I went to /ck/ yesterday and not a single "nigger" was uttered.

I just about shat my pants.

[–]Id_Tap_Dat 0 points1 point ago

Reddit needs Jesus for a lot of shit that goes down on here...

[–]superdanks 2 points3 points ago

This is the best thing I've seen all day.

[–]barset 1 point2 points ago

I hope it was just after midnight and starting a new day for you at that point.

[–]Naughtyburrito 2 points3 points ago

I'm an independent black woman and I don't need NO man!

[–]cheaprug 3 points4 points ago

Reminds me of Awn-Tawn-Drah

[–]montejano760 7 points8 points ago

It's like I can hear her voice

[–]Terps34 2 points3 points ago

Loni Love narrated this one for me.

[–]Danez 12 points13 points ago

hm. Every time I go there I just expect the FBI.

[–]QuitReadingMyName -4 points-3 points ago

I swear 4chan is a big honeypot to catch pedophiles by the FBI. Everything else, is just a by product of their experiment.

[–]OmegaVesko 11 points12 points ago

^ Someone who's never been to 4chan.

[–]Danez -1 points0 points ago

Hah i've thought that too, when someone is explicitly asking for naked pictures of 5 year old it seems pretty crazy. But hey, people are actually crazy.

[–]layzor 2 points3 points ago

i read that in a black woman's voice.

[–]Wheelchairdawg 27 points28 points ago

Man. People get seriously butthurt over innocuous images. This is clearly a joke.

I'm not religious, but I'm also not an idiot. Jesus, as a person, did exist. Whether or not he is the son of God and performed miracles and shit are the points that you can actually debate. If you claim Jesus didn't exist, despite numerous accords of such (not only the Bible) than you are so ferociously against religion that you are exactly what you despise.

And this is the part where I get the downvotes, if I haven't capture your ire already. You Atheists are just as bad as Fundamentalist Christians when it comes to shoving viewpoints down other peoples throats. Y'all complain about how Christians force their beliefs on you and turn around and do the same to others without blinking an eye.

If you believe in God, cool. If you don't believe in God, cool.

Just don't fucking act like an asshole about it.

[–]Springheeljac -1 points0 points ago

I'm not going to down vote you because I dig what you're saying. But, there is about as much proof that Jesus existed as there is that Thor existed. The Bible has exactly 0 pieces of corroborative evidence concerning Jesus and given the number of scholars that existed in the world at the time that means that Jesus most likely, did not exist.

[–]Wheelchairdawg 8 points9 points ago

It's about 3am here, I don't really want to put in the time or effort to dig up any sort of supporting details at this time of night, but there are plentiful accounts of Jesus of Nazareth.

I don't recommend taking what wikipedia has as fact, but look into the sources provided for the Histroricity of Jesus

Some are obviously more credible than others, but he did show up in more than just the gospels. I'm not saying he's any sort of miracle worker or any sort of that nonsense, but it's the current belief that he was at least a person that existed. This was a topic that was spent about half a semester on in a religious debate class I took my Freshmen year of college to satisfy a cultural requirement.

Looking at some religious stuff is quite interesting if you look at it through a historical background rather than taking everything in there as cold hard fact.

[–]fury420 2 points3 points ago

There's also a competing wikipedia article, Christ myth theory.

Part of the problem is that while there are many references to Jesus outside of the bible, none of them were written during his alleged lifetime, and the first accounts are from decades after his alleged death, and written by people who never met Jesus personally.

[–]Wheelchairdawg 0 points1 point ago

Yes, I realize this. I just think it's a lot more likely that the dude existed and everything else was made up.

[–]Jertob 0 points1 point ago

Hi, you're probably getting upvoted by believers, but I'd like to let you know that I can easily (and so can you) google for as much "proof" that Jesus did NOT exist.

[–]Wheelchairdawg 0 points1 point ago

And that's totally true. Personally I just think that the chances that there isn't some sort of shred of fact nestled within the accounts of Jesus is silly.

I just think the chances that there was a good dude named Jesus who went around helping people and then other people claimed he said various things is a likely scenario.

I obviously don't think he is the son of God or a miracle worker but he probably was just a nice dude that people started following. It wouldn't be the only time in history something like that happened.

[–]Springheeljac 0 points1 point ago

First, there are no contemporaries of Jesus Christ that mention him. They do not exist. Second...I didn't get my information from a freshman level college class. The last theology class I took was Theological Methodology and it was a senior seminar theory class. Popular belief is irrelevant, the fact is that there is no evidence that this person ever existed. That was my point.

[–]Jertob -2 points-1 points ago

poof

Psst, There's no real records with proof of Jesus living! Toodles!

poof

[–]mrpappy 2 points3 points ago

I'm moderately certain you are incorrect.

[–]fury420 4 points5 points ago

There's plenty of controversy

There is zero record of Jesus's existence written during his alleged lifetime, the earliest mentions of Jesus date from decades later, and none of their authors claimed to have met Jesus themselves, it's all 2nd/3rd hand. Further, the earliest mentions of Christianity make no mention of a Jesus.

It's certainly possible, however the evidence we have is the equivalent of several people writing about somebody that they've never met who died in the 1980s, based solely on accounts told by friends. No matter how popular their stories become over the centuries, it's still based on a less than certain foundation.

[–]mrpappy 1 point2 points ago

I take it you've heard the Caesar argument before? About how there's more historical evidence Jesus lived than Caesar. But regardless of that we all accept that Caesar was a guy who lived. Because it he has nothing to do with religion, no one gives a shit about disproving his life.

Thank about that.

[–]ThoughtNinja 5 points6 points ago

Yea except there are tangible pieces of evidence supporting Caesar's existence. Statues that can be dated to the era in which he lived that all share the exact same similarity with no variation pointing to the conclusion that they were based on someone who actually lived. Currency bearing his mark and likeness found throughout the empire he controlled. Hundreds of accounts from other people that we know existed as well during his life that mention him in extreme detail with hardly any contradictions. His existence and influence in history can be proven beyond the shadow of a doubt.

The same cannot be said for the man known as Jesus. There really isn't any actual evidence of his existence. He's in a single holy book with highly debatable content, has a possible mention by some dude named Josephus that may or may not be referencing the biblical figure, and people long after he supposedly lived just say he existed. That's really it. On top of that his modern representations don't even reflect the physical characteristics of someone who was supposed to be middle eastern and instead portray someone of European descent. This does not disprove that Jesus existed but there is no real evidence to support that he did or least none that has been discovered as of yet.

These are the facts. Not my opinions.

TL:DR Op's pic is hilarious. Facts be facts yo regardless of whether this Jesus guy existed or not.

[–]Iwishthiswasmymain 0 points1 point ago

Well this is just silly.

[–]mrpappy 0 points1 point ago

Welcome to Reddit.com!

[–]bkow 14 points15 points ago

I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Thank you MisterHellberg.

[–]zdiggler 6 points7 points ago

I love /b/ its like a ultimate social experiment.

[–]anonymoustroll 1 point2 points ago

....in devolution

[–]barset 0 points1 point ago

Give em' a mask they say! We gave em' anonymity! What do they do with it! Terrible things! But I laugh, so I go back! And then what do I get anthropomorphic animals buggering one another. So I say... I can fap to that.

[–]lulzwut 17 points18 points ago

I agree and I'm an Atheist.

[–]Boots27 3 points4 points ago

Hah. Atheist too. This was my first thought! Strange mawfuckas over there.

[–]tardy4datardis 5 points6 points ago

agreed. If anyone needs jesus, its them.

[–]strifeblood 0 points1 point ago

That's the only thing I don't like about being an atheist. It just rubs the wrong direction for a lot of people. There was nothing wrong with your comment, but I'm pretty sure you were downvoted for being an atheist because people automatically think of the mentality of r/atheism.

[–]PaperWings15 1 point2 points ago

OHHH LAWWWD.

[–]DoingItWrong_96 1 point2 points ago

Guh, I had myself a dare to watch every gif they had of car-related accidents. Fucking cue cartoons for the next 3 hours.

[–]SatanJesusAndAZebra 0 points1 point ago

it seems like the big trucks only aimed for the heads when the body was already laying on the ground.

[–]Jhano 1 point2 points ago

Praise the lord! sistah

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

This is good quality humor. Props Op

[–]chingyduster 1 point2 points ago

The biggest congregation online of 12 year old boys and 42 year old men.

[–]anonymoustroll 2 points3 points ago

I'm pretty sure half of them are self-confessed NMBLA.

[–]HeavyMetalLovar 1 point2 points ago

[–]Dub_it_Down_a_Little 1 point2 points ago

I bet alot of you didnt realize how well you could read this in a confident black woman voice.

[–]Tukanchue 1 point2 points ago

Thank you OP. I almost woke my wife up.

[–]analcarbomb 1 point2 points ago

I'm more entertained by the people taking any mention of Jesus do seriously than I am by the picture alone.

[–]Reedfrost 1 point2 points ago

I like the text at the bottom.

"4chan mother fuckers jesus"

Something about that combination of words cracks me up more than the actual caption.

[–]waaalms 1 point2 points ago

More like whenever you go to 4chan you come back with a bunch of new posts to claim your own.

[–]beccaonice 1 point2 points ago

Wow this whole thread was painful to read.

[–]DangerousIdeas 9 points10 points ago

incoming atheist rage

but seriously, Jesus stands a figure of moral justice, regardless the facts behind him.

[–]liquid_j 7 points8 points ago

Absolutely! And as soon as more Christians start acting like him everything will be all good!

[–]Thunder_score 3 points4 points ago

Christian here. With you 100% on that sentiment.

High five to you, good sir.

[–]DoktorKruel 3 points4 points ago

Whenever

[–]Konflyk 2 points3 points ago

Everytime you say something about religion on 4chan, "Y'all motherfuckers are faggots"

[–]iamfrostytom 1 point2 points ago

OP is a faggot

[–]eric444 1 point2 points ago

Bad Boys II

[–]bodmodman333 0 points1 point ago

[–]jrk08004 0 points1 point ago

I think that little text at that bottom also invoked quite a bit of laughter :)

[–]planesforstars 0 points1 point ago

[–]beachjustice 0 points1 point ago

Said this in a 'confident black woman' voice. hilarious

[–]Sweetnarnar 0 points1 point ago

Oh that was just perfect..Thank you kind sir for this post

[–]malevolenceisavirtue 0 points1 point ago

I just died laughing so hard and then came back to life because the great Reddit Gods weren't finished with me yet.

PS. I'm a zombie. Run.

[–]link5688 0 points1 point ago

That's just another reason to stay on reddit exclusively.

[–]Kim_Jung_Lulz 0 points1 point ago

op is a nigger and a faggot...

too much for reddit?

[–]TheAurelian 0 points1 point ago

If 4chan went over to Jesus I think they would get worse

[–]anonymoustroll -1 points0 points ago

...whose to say they aren't already on the Jesus.

[–]TheAurelian -1 points0 points ago

mother of god....

[–]VPinecone -3 points-2 points ago

Omg, funniest photo ive seen in so long. and i come here alot. You have no idea how bad i needed a great smile, and you sure did deliver!

[–]billyclmnts 0 points1 point ago

I WOULD SUGGEST NOT POSTING THIS ANYWHERE NEAR R/ATHEISM

[–]Wtfscroba 0 points1 point ago

Whenever and onto.

[–]topcat512 0 points1 point ago

i could use JC as well but i don't think he'd like me very much.

[–]TheeMuffinMan 0 points1 point ago

My first thought was: haha that is funny, 4chan could use some Je...oh wait...this is Reddit...JESUS=DOWNVOTES!

Then I clicked to see the downvotes, yep nearly 9,000.

NOT BAD.

[–]Genericdruid 0 points1 point ago

As a long time user of the chan and a log time user of reddit, I say you just need to grow some balls.

[–]marth141 -1 points0 points ago

I think they just need a hobby besides 4 chan.

[–]berserker793 -1 points0 points ago

ironic considering 4chan posted this on facebook.

[–]ancient88 -1 points0 points ago

For some reason, I read the title as "when ever I go down to 4chan".

[–]Karma13x -1 points0 points ago

Not even Jesus could forgive how 4chan would deal with him.

[–]Fausto1981 -2 points-1 points ago

fuck jesus, thor is mightier.

[–]Tawes -2 points-1 points ago

Christ, guys, I come here for funny images, not lectures. I go to church for that. Stop the serious discussion, go back to r/christianity and a/atheism. If it's not funny, don't bring it here.

[–]Scenro -2 points-1 points ago

YUP! Is all I can say. HAHA oooohhh 4chan. Reddit is so conservative in comparison.

[–]koolkid005 1 point2 points ago

Not really.

[–]Scenro 0 points1 point ago

Hmm maybe the time difference is comparison. I suppose I mean 4chan from 6 or 7 years ago when the internet was first desensitizing people (when browsing it was as pointless as chat roulette)? Haven't been over there recently. It clean up any?

[–]koolkid005 0 points1 point ago

No it's just stupid. There's still gore and whatnot but I don't think there has ever really been anything on 4chan I would be surprised to see on reddit sans the tiniest bit of CP.

[–]wonderwife -1 points0 points ago

I actually laughed out loud to this one. Awesome.

[–]NPH_wouldnt_do_that -1 points0 points ago

Well reddit, this post was unexpected.

[–]freekstyle -1 points0 points ago

i have never laughed so hard in my life.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

whenever is a word without spaces you know, not that it doesn't work with one too though whensoever you decide to use that instead.

Talking of which, I never knew this but:

whensoever

conjunction & adverb formal word for whenever.

[–]Joshman1231 -1 points0 points ago

I laughed so hard.

[–]benstillerfagget69 -1 points0 points ago

I have no idea how to even use 4chan