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The sad truth about dating [fixed] (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by California2Barcelona

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[–]SimilarImage 26 points27 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
5 months SolInvictus The redditor who created this has a real chip on his shoulder /r/WTF 810 673
5 months Mrwhothefuckcares It's hard being a man extended version (x-post from r/4chan) here 467 293

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[–]Furfaidz 18 points19 points ago

We live in a patriarchal society. Life's not fair. I for one don't like it. But please tell me more about how this is women's fault.

[–]AwesomeAni 45 points46 points ago

You took the joke... And ruined it.

[–]Aloss 9 points10 points ago

Talking about taking it too far.

[–]AwesomeAni -2 points-1 points ago

All I did was say how he ruined it. How is that taking it too far?

[–]Aloss 6 points7 points ago

He took it too far HE!!

[–]AwesomeAni -5 points-4 points ago

I was telling OP... What do you think comments are for?

[–]Ericb25 6 points7 points ago

You're retarding all over the place.

[–]acalmerkarma 3 points4 points ago

Have you never seen a thread where people aren't actually replying to each other but continuing the conversation?

[–]leenbeeen 16 points17 points ago

Your post is bad, and you should feel bad. No more charts though. This one is pathetic enough.

[–]Geminian 78 points79 points ago

The grass is always greener on the other side, my friend. As a female, I can retort each of those with another double standard to show how futile and pointless these worn biases are, but that would get us nowhere. I wish you better dating experiences in the future! (p.s. start by changing your attitude a bit)

[–]Poetlaurehate 14 points15 points ago

For argument's sake, please do so? I'm just curious.

[–]hongryghost 33 points34 points ago

I mean, I could go through and refute most of these point-by-point, but in general this thing assumes that attractive women can get by on their looks even if they're whiny, stupid, lazy, and all-around worthless, which I can tell you just isn't true. Also, who expects women to be boring? What kind of a person made this, and for what kind of men is this accurate? I really don't get it. I think the point about hooking up with underage people is well-made, and there is a real double standard there in our society. However, most of this total bull shit.

[–]derpmoar 1 point2 points ago

Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton are famous because of their looks and the fact that they made sex tapes. They get by on their looks and the fact that they are famous. I agree that the claims made in the image are often exaggerated, only partially true or straight up horse shit, but it certainly is possible for people to get by on looks alone.

[–]marij4393 1 point2 points ago

also they're rich

[–]Poetlaurehate -1 points0 points ago

It's not exactly about refutation, you know? I'll admit that it seems perhaps a bit shrill, you know? But there's also a point buried in here someplace. It goes beyond women just getting by on their looks (which, if you've watched much mainstream American television, seems at least reasonable, on the surface). Those sorts of things are very clearly cross-gender.

It's about a double-standard that exists, really exists, without being acknowledged. That the functions and structures of a society are such that it cannot be acknowledged or spoken of without being shouted down. And hence you get wonky, rage-filled posts like the one we're commenting under. In the same way that you get mad women in the attic. Maybe the original progenitor of this thing is bitter. I dunno. But consider those men who ended up on the wrong side of history in terms of women. They were stalwart in their convictions, too. I'm just saying, I'd totally love to see all the refutations you might have. I'm not looking to prove you wrong -- I'm just looking to open the conversation.

[–]hongryghost 16 points17 points ago

Honestly, I get the impression that the person who made this thing has never actually dated a woman, and probably doesn't have any male friends either. It seems his worldview has been shaped almost entirely by watching TV, in particular shows like Jersey Shore. But that's just my guess.

[–]Poetlaurehate 0 points1 point ago

Maybe you're right? It's speculation, which is totally fine. I guess I'd mostly want to know why you think that? I'm not trying to be a dick, I'm just wondering about specifics. It strikes me as an interesting jumping-off point for a wider conversation, this whole post, but probably I'm just in the weeds, commenting on some buried repost.

[–]hongryghost 3 points4 points ago

I mean, because he assumes the worst of both men and women. And because in my own life I know almost no men or women who act that way. Maybe I've just led a magical life and only known awesome people, but I don't think that's the case. I think we're talking too much about it now, it was meant to be a joke, and since it attacked my gender I got in the mood to debate about it. I don't know, do you feel like men and women act this way? I don't.

[–]Poetlaurehate 0 points1 point ago

Maybe it's been magical! I do not know you, but I hope it has been as ideal as possible! I guess I think it's exaggerated as well, and I can appreciate the impulse to defend one's gender, or get riled up over things like that. I just think it's important to try and have these conversations -- I don't that ALL men and women act like that, but ENOUGH men and women act like that. It's not pure fantasy. And it can be dangerous to think so. There is some truth here, and while i'm very happy to acknowledge the flaws, i'd also like to emphasize the raw emotion behind it. I mentioned mad women in the attic a few replies ago -- consider for a moment, if you will, the women who struggled under a truly patriarchal system; the long, long history. Consider the attempts to form and articulate a contrary stance in a society that literally could not conceive it. I'm not saying the terms are exactly the same, but there is some cross-over. It's difficult to see all the sides, but we should give it a shot.

[–]hongryghost 43 points44 points ago

Hmm, ok. Here goes nothing. No confidence: it's true that men do have to do most of the asking-out, and I acknowledge that it blows. At the same time, however, some men are turned-off by women who make the first move, so as a woman it's hard to know what to do sometimes. But this is one of the more valid ones. No money: to be the type of woman who men spend a lot of money on costs, well, a lot of money. It's well known that women have to spend way more on looking good than men. My daily make-up routine costs over $200 to replace, if I lost my make up bag, and that's just the tip of the ice burg. No college plans, no friends, boring: these all assume that men only care about a woman's looks, which in my experience is mostly not true. I honestly can't think of a single man I know who thinks like this. It's more insulting to men than anything else. Obscure interests: personally I love when guys are into random shit, so I don't get this one. Quiet: again, this assumes men only care about women's looks, which I don't think is true for the most part. Rejects a member of the opposite sex: Um, ever heard of the term "friendzoning"? women get shit for doing this all time. Also I've never in my life heard of a man being called gay for turning a girl down. expects sex: I don't get this one, either. I think it's a personal choice, but I expect sex as part of a relationship, and I would never fault a man for feeling the same way. Not in the mood for sex: one of the more valid ones, guys do totally get shit for this. bad in bed: whatever, I totally have heard guys talk shit about girls for "just lying back." Raped and needs help: it's true that men have a much harder time dealing with rape, and that there are less resources. And that's bad and needs to change. That being said, it's a gross overstatement to say that "everyone is sympathetic" to females who have been raped. want to end marriage: My best friend's mom got completely screwed over when her husband divorced her; he left her for a more attractive woman and took all the money and etc etc divorce is horrible and bad for everyone. shitty job: once again, assumes men only care about women's looks. own guns: I think everyone who owns guns is nuts, male and female. I don't think there's a gender issue here. People who like guns think it's ok for both genders. This one is super random. doesn't want an expensive wedding: My brother and his girlfriend are about to get married, they're having a low-key wedding because that's what he wants, and she's totally chill with it. doesn't play sports: when dating, I actively avoid men who work out / play sports because I hate working out and I hate sports. So I don't think those men are losers. conscription: valid point, women don't get drafted. I'd feel worse for men except we haven't had a draft in like 50 years. you think the world is biased against your gender and...: a perfect example of how much over-generalizing this thing does. The WORLD? the whole fucking WORLD? at the best case, in the best countries, men and women are almost equal. But if you add up the countries where women are forced into unwanted marriages, raped, get their genitalia mutilated, can't speak their minds, etc, and compare that number to the number of countries where men, I don't know, feel bad because girls can get away with nothing but good looks, then there's still way more countries where women get the short end of the stick. Ok I'm getting tired of this so I'm going to skip around. Underage sexual partners: this point is totes valid, this double standard is fucked up. hitting your spouse: also fucked up, it shouldn't be ok for anyone to hit anyone. expects gifts on valentines day: I have always put lots of effort into valentines and christmas gifts for my SO so I don't get where this is coming from. wanting pleasure during sex: this one is just poorly written. it's more about orgasms than pleasure maximization. if a man comes really early, that's not maximizing his pleasure either, is it? Also I have never personally given a guy shit for coming too early. video games and anime: all of my exes have liked these things. waiting til marriage for sex: girls totally get shit from people when they do this, just as much as guys do. homo or bi: valid point here, men do get more shit for this. that being said, I know several bi guys who have no problem dating girls and having awesome friendships with other guys. ENJOYING MASTURBATION: this is one of the worst ones on here. When I was growing up, I felt so wrong for masturbating. Our society acts like women don't have sex drives, and if you masturbate there's something wrong with you. That's what I was taught by my church and by my school. Boys are expected to masturbate so it's ok. I realize I am generalizing too here (and it other places) and that tons of people are pro-females masturbating. But I'm just saying this post is wrong. OK I'm done here. Not sure why I did this. I'm avoiding doing actual homework. But there you go.

[–]blam10 5 points6 points ago

Only just now read your post, Miss Ghost, because I'm super lazy and all of the bold things looked like you were yelling..

Yeah. You're pretty fecking awesome.

[–]minavill 1 point2 points ago

Bravo! OP sure has his head up his arse.

[–]TotesJellington 0 points1 point ago

In most of your rebuttals you are taking a specific instance and acting like it refutes what he is saying. Obviously there are going to be exceptions, that doesn't refute the points he made.

But you do have some points. OP's masturbation one is bullshit, the homo or bi one is bullshit. Rejecting member of the opposite sex one is also bullshit.

However, the rest of you points are either very shallow, missed the point, or are specific situations that don't really prove anything.

[–]dan92 -1 points0 points ago

A lot of what you've said is definitely true, but I would argue these things: Nobody is saying only looks matter, but they certainly make a big difference. Most guys are ok with having a girl who doesn't have big plans for the future because it's more expected for a man to provide for a woman than for a a woman to provide for a man. Guys are also ok with weird things girls are into because to an extent they like women for looks rather than interests, while girls like guys for looks and interests. I'm not saying these things are good, but they are often true.

[–]blam10 8 points9 points ago

Guys are also ok with weird things girls are into because to an extent they like women for looks rather than interests, while girls like guys for looks and interests.

I'm going to have to disagree with you here, Dan. That statement's a fairly large generalization, and that kind of thinking is what leads to stereotypical man hate. Though it's often perpetuated that men "only have one thing on their minds" or "care more about looks than women" or whatever, I feel as if it isn't true. Or, to be more blunt, it's a blatant lie.

It's silly to affix such a shallow viewpoint to either sex since it's impossible to have it apply to any real degree. I'm a guy who has mostly female friends, and I have heard ridiculous things from both sides. I've learned a few key things:

1) Women enjoy sex, too. Or, if not sex, physical interaction of the sexytime type. (Who doesn't? That shit feels great)

2) Both men and women can sometimes be too passive and have a hard time asserting themselves in the realm of romance. Remnants of old world male dominated chivalry/dominance comes into conflict with modern and progressive female/ gender-equal assertion. Basically, I see it as a toss up and a shit show when a person tries to take the first step, but either way it's exciting, terrifying, and fun.

3) It's easy to say that women are complicated and that men are jerks, but that doesn't make it the truth. Just because I'm a man doesn't mean that I can't keep it in my pants, and just because a woman is a woman, doesn't mean that she has an ulterior motive.

and 4) Going into any relationship with preconceived notions that has been fed to us by popular culture is ridiculous. Every time I see a magazine talking about how to "Use these 50 tricks to make him/her wild" makes me want to punch the editor in the face. It's, like, way to perpetuate that you can speak for the entire male or female population...

tl;dr: Generalizations are dumb and both men and women need to step up and take chances. No fear. Also, women can be as horny as men, if not more so, and men need to realize that and stop putting them on a pedestal. Everyone loves the sexy time.

Except Janeane Garofalo, apparently.

[–]TwoFriends 13 points14 points ago

Some examples: "Quiet:" Female: She must be a stuck up bitch (I get it all the time). Male: He's so brooding and deep, I want to get to know him. For "Don't want an expensive wedding" an example is given of a woman who doesn't want one, then says "you're fucked" for the male, as if to imply all women want an expensive wedding. Obviously, not even the OP believes this to be true. "You think the world is biased against your gender:" Because men have been oppressed for decades and still are? Right, because CEO's, executives, politicians, etc are mostly women? "You aren't physically attractive" women care less about looks than men do. I have a ton of friends are are dating hot chicks and aren't very attractive/are hot chicks dating not very attractive men. As a guy, you just need personality to make up for it. "Throw an emotional tantrum to try and get your way:" Childish for either sex. "Hit your spouse during an argument:" Not okay for either sex. Leave the person immediately, clearly they are violent. "Want to feel as much pleasure as possible during sex:" Both sexes should try to wait for the other since with most people, they are pretty much done after that. If he/she is not willing to work with you to do that, they're a selfish person. Not all women do that. Here's one of my own along those lines from personal experience: "I can't have an orgasm during sex:" Female: No we can't bring a vibrator into the mix because that threatens my manhood. Male: Will you go done on me for like an hour? (exaggeration) I don't care that that hurts your jaw. "Enjoy masturbation:" Female: Guys are grossed out and/or threatened when you talk about it. (Has happened to me) Male: Talks about it all the time, no one cares. "Expects gifts on Valentines Day" If they won't get you something but expect something that's selfish. Both: make it clear what your plans are for Valentine's Day. My bf and I always do something special together instead of getting gifts. We discussed that on our first Valentine's Day. "Crying and being emotional:" Female: She must be on her period. Male: Aww, he's so cute. I love that he can express his feelings. "Have a particular sexual fetish:" Both: finds someone else who is also into that. Most of the rest seem to be what the reactions of one particular type of woman/man. I can't see myself reacting the same way for most of them, for example: "You want to wait until marriage for sex." I don't personally know a woman who would react with "What a creep!" I do know more than a few woman who would be delighted by that though. The others would highly respect that but choose not to date him because of their differing beliefs, without judging him. If you're getting "what a creep" reactions, then you are dating the wrong women. I think that's mostly what this boils down to: finding new types of people to date if you constantly find yourself getting unfavorable reactions/behavior from your partners/prospective partners. The type of girl described in this post sounds like the most stuck up, arrogant, spoiled brat I have every heard of and I would never dream of acting that way. I'm actually getting a little tired of hearing my some of my guy friends complain about chicks like that. They have a lot of the same complaints. If you ask them why they dated those girls in the first place, they'll say "She was so hot" or something along those lines.

[–]TwoFriends 9 points10 points ago

Wow, I clearly don't know how to format.

[–]katestatic 1 point2 points ago

Formatting be damned. You have some excellent points!

[–]A_Nihilist 0 points1 point ago

Double space after each line.

[–]Poetlaurehate -4 points-3 points ago

This seems pretty reasonable! I don't find any of it invalid. It's not exactly a refutation, though. It suggests an alternate range of experience! That's all I'm getting at -- that there's a pretty wide range of experience! And we can talk about them, and decide more or less if things seem true or not. And that we should not discard things because of their context in gender? I dunno, i'm just saying. Thank you for taking the time to write all of that out, and for addressing my replies! I appreciate it!

[–]hokum0pokum -2 points-1 points ago

tl; dr

;)

[–]scrumpnugget 0 points1 point ago

i completely agree. yeah, it's so great to be a female, we have it all and don't have to worry about anything. fucking bullshit.

[–]culus_ambitiosa 0 points1 point ago

Whiny, stupid, lazy and all-around worthless you say? Kim Kardashian.

[–]DeanWin -3 points-2 points ago

this thing assumes that attractive women can get by on their looks even if they're whiny, stupid, lazy, and all-around worthless, which I can tell you just isn't true.

You sure about that?

[–]Beirwulf 6 points7 points ago

Wow http://qkme.me/3opoqy

[–]mrbeartime 8 points9 points ago

I can't say that you haven't experienced these double standards, because maybe you have, but if you have, it's because you're hanging around with the wrong people. As in, the stupidest, most backwards, idiotic, out-dated fools you could possibly seek out. Make new friends. Don't perpetuate it. Smart people don't follow these ridiculous stereotypes. Or, alternatively, you're just the ultimate paranoid parrot, and using this sort of thing as an excuse.

[–]CCCHAMP 3 points4 points ago

I don't know how I feel about this, does one half cancel out the other half?

[–]Lost1010 4 points5 points ago

Obviously it's not all true.

But maybe 1 in 10 are the truth.

I'll list the ones that are often true (but obviously not always)[You'll have to find the full version on the picture]: No confidence. Bad in bed. Raped. (remember I said not always true) Conscription. Gender Bias. Sex with underager. (to a certain degree) Hit you spouse. Homosexuality. (not from where I'm from, but I've heard different from some states in America)

I encourage equal rights and am disturbed by a lot of what was in there being so biased or otherwise untrue, but this thread has devolved into hate thread where everyone is throwing down all of the claims with a similar bias like the one that created them.

I made this post to find a middle point within each bias and would appreciate people disproving anything I've stated which you do not believe.

I encourage debate on the subject and I hope the issues are addressed within the future and that feminists and the male version of it (excuse my forgetful mind) become obsolete in the future and that humanist prevails.

[–]Geminian 0 points1 point ago

I believe that the main point was not to turn into a hate-fest toward the OP, but rather to show the immense complexity of OP's generalizations.

Some of them are more true, than false, but that doesn't excuse the overwhelmingly condescending attitude toward OP's female counterpart.

It's hard for me to ignore this type of issue being a female, because I run into these biases on the regular. While it may be damn near impossible to dispose of OP's mindset, it is worthwhile to show that most people are in disagreement with him.

Basically, we seem to be rallying that OP doesn't have a good understanding of women and harbors some resentment toward attractive ones who "always get their way."

I'm a pretty girl and I do admit that the halo effect is real (it applies toward men and women alike) so I have more opportunities. I'm humble and incredibly down-to-earth person who uses that to my advantage, because I have to play up my strengths to get places. I hardly consider that extortion, and I don't rely on it too heavily.

I will always defend those who are being mis-respresented because it's in my nature to do so, and in this case, it is my fellow ladies.

[–]Lost1010 0 points1 point ago

Thankyou for that.

[–]pr0m4n 11 points12 points ago

but why would a woman ever reject a boring guy with no confidence, money, or college plans?

[–]he_cried_out_WTF -1 points0 points ago

personality?

It's hard to preach against being shallow when they are shallow themselves.

[–]cabinsix 11 points12 points ago

Who the fuck upvoted Unfunny Pity Party: The Extended Edition 289 times on r/funny?

[–]ZiggyZombie 4 points5 points ago

I like the "Just have to be pretty." Mutating genes to be pretty is easy. Come on ugly girls wtf is your problem?

[–]theran444 2 points3 points ago

this really makes you sound like a whiny child.

[–]CptFastbreak 2 points3 points ago

But if you're gay AND don't want an expensive wedding, just move to North Carolina.

[–]fdheneghan 9 points10 points ago

Wow, talk about being seriously butthurt. You actually believe most of this stuff?

[–]kogilux 3 points4 points ago

just when I thought Reddit couldn't get more misogynistic. slow clap

[–]VikingRule 16 points17 points ago

Jesus. This is neither true nor funny.

Or, to quote what you say in the image- Grow some balls, pussy.

[–]alibee123 19 points20 points ago

And Reddit wonders why its so forever alone. These stupid generalizations have to stop, they are only contributing to the problem. Grow the fuck up.

[–]Stankmonger 11 points12 points ago

Says they are all generalizations, by demonstrating one of the generalizations.

[–]vansebastian 6 points7 points ago

someone has issues....

[–]doritodude103 6 points7 points ago

dude who wrote it is an idiot

[–]nukefudge 9 points10 points ago

stop the upvoting, you morons.

[–]Maxter666 1 point2 points ago

Someone put way too much thought into this.

[–]powermojomojo 1 point2 points ago

why is this in funny??

[–]occasionallyacid 1 point2 points ago

That's ridiculous.

[–]Ajaxxx 1 point2 points ago

Hmm, someone's got some anger issues to put away before coming back on the tubez.

[–]intel23 1 point2 points ago

This made me really depressed now.

[–]happlepaff 1 point2 points ago

not funny so much as depressing

[–]jsombrero 1 point2 points ago

pure bullshit

[–]Skilol 1 point2 points ago

I wonder why the "Raped and needs help" category is in this image about dating

[–]MidnightCereal 1 point2 points ago

I'm pretty sick of these posts. Mostly because they make men look like pathetic whiners.

[–]Erikster 3 points4 points ago

Lemme just defuse the impending shitstorm by gently reminding everyone that we're in /r/funny not /r/SIRIUSBUSINESS.

[–]dissapointedorikface 0 points1 point ago

No, shitstorms are fun to watch.

[–]headfullofuselessnes 2 points3 points ago

Shitstorm coming. I liked it and laughed at a few and didn't agree with a few others.

[–]tmarty 2 points3 points ago

this belongs on r/men's rights

[–]vorbote 2 points3 points ago

That is so ... not true.

You can get along by good looking as a male, too. I have a male friend that went to parties, did nothing and girls came to him all the time, good looking cute girls. I was always a bit jealous that I had to work (and I would say I am not that bad looking) for that, but it show, it's possible as a male, too.

Cultural differences may play a role. This is urban Germany, I speak of. In rural areas old streotype may be still more popular. BTW I read of German couple that was living in the US as part of the husbands work for an international company, she was a journalist, and then they moved to Virginia (before they lived somewhere more north), and she said (this was part of an radio interview) that the bank addressed her by her husbands name (i.e. Mrs. Peter Meyer) and some other things that she found disrespectful that I can't remember ...

[–]rogert2 0 points1 point ago

Reading these comments, it's become obvious that I'm the only person who failed to understand how the chart in the OP is organized. :(

[–]MF_Kitten 0 points1 point ago

What we learned: men have no standards, and think with their dicks.

[–]ak47blackjack 0 points1 point ago

Post to /r/mensrights

[–]theDragn -2 points-1 points ago

True, although I think that some of the double standards mentioned are exaggerated.

[–]OOprime 0 points1 point ago

Sure some of them are but some of them are (or at least one of them is) true, women do not get drafted here in America. In a few countries military service is compulsory for all but they are in the vast minority.

A case could be made for the underage sex one as well. Possibly the divorce court one too. One could compare the outcomes of the couple divorcing to how they went into the marriage and see which gender ends up being better/worse off than when they came in most of the time.

[–]PerpetualDick -5 points-4 points ago

Not only true, the sad part is I tick most of those boxes.

Now I am sad.

ಥ_ಥ

[–]cpstarkiller -3 points-2 points ago

fucking funny and true

[–]POK3RFAC3 -5 points-4 points ago

TOO MANY WORDS

[–]mramaad -3 points-2 points ago

Fact: without sexual attraction, the world would be a better place.

[–]wolf_man007 3 points4 points ago

Fact: I disagree.

[–]dissapointedorikface 1 point2 points ago

We'd all be dea... oh I see where you're going with this.

[–]cpstarkiller 0 points1 point ago

me too.

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