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all 174 comments

[–]katatonos 192 points193 points ago

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The different shade of gray really makes the "Danger" pop!

[–]DrDragun 213 points214 points ago

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Your life is not worth color toner

[–]NothingsShocking 66 points67 points ago

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do you have any idea how much color toner costs? do ya?

[–]RIndustries 113 points114 points ago

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To get technical about it, color printer ink is around $1250 per liter. A human body weighing around 154lbs occupies roughly 70 liters of space. The EPA values a human life at 9.4million dollars each. This puts the value of a human life at $124,000 a Liter. Therefore, a human life is roughly 100 times more valuable than color printer ink. (Sources: Google searches and flawed logic)

[–]afcagroo 103 points104 points ago

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TIL: The EPA values my life far, far more than I do.

[–]TheCuntDestroyer 43 points44 points ago

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I agree. How does one cash in on this?

[–]JohnTrollvolta 36 points37 points ago

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One ass fuckin' at a time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Well my buddies and I run a few hostels around Europe...we've also got these rad bloodhound tattoos.

[–]teh_al3x 3 points4 points ago

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The average weight of a finger is 100g.
brb, finding something sharp...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ultranoodles 16 points17 points ago

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punish people who cause environmental damage that kills people.

[–]NOT_A_BUMBLE_BEE 7 points8 points ago

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They do it to help make decisions. Lets say they wanted to start a program, if the cost of the program is less than 9 million times the number if lives they save, then it is financially viable.

[–]ISS5731 7 points8 points ago

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The reason the EPA does what they do is to protect people.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]oneupdouchebag 6 points7 points ago

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It's a shame the value of humans hasn't increased steadily with inflation. It sure has made it tough to make a living taking hostages.

[–]Schwey 4 points5 points ago

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I always kill one to show them I mean business reduce the supply and artificially drive up the price.

[–]USonic 1 point2 points ago

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"Well, we can agree on 92 million then! Oh, and a chopper!"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Sorry pal, final offer.

[–]ISS5731 0 points1 point ago

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Yes but you asked “why does the EPA put values on our lives?” so I was answering that. The FBI very well may have set values for human lives.

[–]alexanderpas 0 points1 point ago

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it's to enable a simple cost benefit comparison of environmental protection measures, when the cost of saving a single additional life exceed the value of a life, the costs outweigh the benefits.

[–]ISS5731 0 points1 point ago

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I wasn't gonna get into specifics but that sounds right.

[–]davidhaha 0 points1 point ago

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you can calculate the monetary damages if, say, a company poisons the down and shortens everyone's lives by 5 years. you can take the percentage of their life lost and multiply by this EPA value. that's how much that company now owes you

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]davidhaha 1 point2 points ago

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You could start with data on people's life expectancy. It gets more complicated after that, though. You could go into quality of life, like how much is a year of life worth to someone who's completely healthy, compared to someone who has lung disease that makes them unable to climb stairs, or even limited to their bed. I don't know much about that kind of stuff though.

There's a few interesting articles, if you're interested, about how life is valued and what you can do with this information.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]davidhaha 0 points1 point ago

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I don't understand your question of "is this world occupied or is it empty?". Can you explain it?

I think you might be referring to something like valuing one person's life over another. Is that it?

[–]ranon20 2 points3 points ago

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An American life, not say a Chinese or Indian life.

[–]thinkythought 1 point2 points ago

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i seriously thought i was in /r/shittyaskscience for a second

[–]SomeGuyNamedPaul 0 points1 point ago

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Don't spread that info too far. There are a lot of people who can afford some entertainment $9.4M at a time.

[–]l34512 0 points1 point ago

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So... The EPA can kill you if they give your family 9.4 million dollars?

[–]Hyperian 0 points1 point ago

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No, corporation

[–]Balls2TheFloor 0 points1 point ago

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Well shit I need to raise my price per person then. $9.4 million!? Fuck I charge 250k for big targets, 80 for minor targets, 10 for relatives and free for any fucker who cuts me off or rides my ass in traffic. Fuck you fucking fuckers.

[–]cummyface -1 points0 points ago

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Screw the ink costs. Why are we posting signs like this to begin with? It only interferes with natural selection. Those too stupid to know better should be conveniently shocked to death.

[–]toadkicker 4 points5 points ago

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You wouldn't download toner, would you?!?

[–]IHoldSteady 2 points3 points ago

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I would if I could.

[–]Hellrazor236 -1 points0 points ago

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It costs more than ink!

[–]iWillpaintYourname 7 points8 points ago

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[–]DrDragun 0 points1 point ago

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NICE!

[–]scratchr 2 points3 points ago

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[–]sagewah 1 point2 points ago

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Hmm. Back in the olden days when this was posted, it was in colour...

[–]Sariel007 102 points103 points ago

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"Well, I don't need safety gloves, 'cause I'm Homer Simp--"

[–]catnipassian 32 points33 points ago

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Well according to the sign it would go more like

"--OH GOD THE PAIN." dead.

[–]FankiJE 10 points11 points ago

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change the channel marge

[–]Maj12 4 points5 points ago

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That's our Homer.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 24 points25 points ago

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Oh Grimy.

[–]pureskill 14 points15 points ago

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...as he liked to be called.

[–]pieguyfly 4 points5 points ago

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"How is old Grimey?"

"HE'S DEAD!"

[–]foundmyownhorn 0 points1 point ago

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D'oh?

[–]VAPossum 7 points8 points ago

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I have never wanted to touch something more in my life.

[–]Kieklanta 0 points1 point ago

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If it's just once it can't kill us...right?

[–]alephlovedbeth 29 points30 points ago

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i find the stick figure warning signs more eloquent. nothing says "don't touch the fucking drive shaft" like a panicked stick figure wrapped around it three times waving his arms in terror in the realization that his broken body will sustain life for just moments more.

[–]afcagroo 6 points7 points ago

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I didn't get that from that sign at all!

[–]Philo_T_Farnsworth 7 points8 points ago

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More importantly, there's nothing on this sign to indicate what you shouldn't touch. Should you not touch the sign itself, the piece of equipment it's attached to, or some exposed area?

This sign invites more questions and experimentation, which could very easy lead to more deaths "that hurt the entire time you're dying".

[–]Acebulf 5 points6 points ago

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I don't know, if I saw that sign I would not touch anything.

[–]myfourthacct 5 points6 points ago

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[–]Nawti 42 points43 points ago

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Ever heard the expression don't put your dick in crazy? This is the rest of that warning.

[–]Breathing_Balls 9 points10 points ago

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A fuck and a shock. Sign me up.

[–]Violent-Penis-Haikus 18 points19 points ago

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As long as it hurts,
and there's permanent damage,
dick in crazy: great!

[–]tellhersafe 71 points72 points ago

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These novelty accounts are getting really specific.

[–]DuckDragon 18 points19 points ago

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I'm starting to get really sick of them. That, and the droves of people creating somewhat vulgar, all-caps usernames -- attention-whores, all of 'em.

[–]BroCop 1 point2 points ago

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I was really disappointed your username wasn't POTATOES_CUNT_DESTROY_FUCK_POLICE_CARROTS_ANAL_MILKCRATE_CAT_69

[–]DuckDragon 2 points3 points ago

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If that username wasn't over the character limit, I'm sure someone would have taken it already.

[–]Hellrazor236 20 points21 points ago

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All the generic ones are taken.

[–]trampus1 2 points3 points ago

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You'll only see it today. As the owner of several stupid novelty accounts I thought would be amusing at the time of creating them, I can confirm.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Do this.

[–]Violent-Penis-Haikus 1 point2 points ago

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TIL I'm not
as penis cutting special,
as I thought I was.

[–]malcolmxtacy 13 points14 points ago

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does anyone know what this is

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Breathing_Balls 10 points11 points ago

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You used to work with a giant digital printer? WTF are you, a scanner?

[–]Trollatio_Caine 6 points7 points ago

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He is a snake.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Breathing_Balls 7 points8 points ago

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Darkly it is.

[–]okmkz 13 points14 points ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]kerrigan2 11 points12 points ago

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[–]drwtsn32 3 points4 points ago

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TIL how many people on here don't know about British spelling.

[–]drwtsn32 1 point2 points ago

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and/or Canadian English. and/or Australian English.

[–]ohnowait 4 points5 points ago

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If touching will kill you... how did the sign get put on?

[–]eldormilon 7 points8 points ago

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Robots.

[–]fofo13 0 points1 point ago

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Now, I have to touch it!

[–]JesusHankChrist -1 points0 points ago

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Ancient Aliens

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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as a yank, this picture kind of bugged me. authorised vs authorized. Made me look it up. yet another in the cultural divide.

Thanks OP. assume this was taken in the UK.

[–]kavorka2 2 points3 points ago

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The crazy thing is, this sign just makes me want to test it out. Like touching a plate you know is hot.

[–]mr_tw 1 point2 points ago

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If you get shocked, you're gonna have a bad time

[–]elliotderp 1 point2 points ago

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Did any one else read this title in the voice of the ski instructor from SouthPark?

[–]oneF457z 1 point2 points ago

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This is what I came here for. I fully expected it to be running rampant by now... oh well.

[–]dieselnut 1 point2 points ago

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So, kinda like marriage.

[–]StewieBanana -1 points0 points ago

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[–]3nd1t -3 points-2 points ago

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Your comment is not gonna go far.

[–]JurassicParkerr 2 points3 points ago

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Your*

[–]Breathing_Balls 1 point2 points ago

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Neither is his marriage.

[–]dieselnut -3 points-2 points ago

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Somebody has to say it how it is, even in the face of diversity.

[–]mike413 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, well in THAT case...

[–]hankofchaos 0 points1 point ago

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drexel machine shop?

[–]llamabukkake 0 points1 point ago

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Not too bad, number 3 on the front page and I only saw it 2 days ago on Break.

[–]WeAllWin 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, Max Payne 3 is out already? Awesome!

[–]Kinglink 0 points1 point ago

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Does anyone else want to touch it even more now?

I mean I know I shouldn't, but damn I want to touch.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Is it just me or does that make the urge to touch even more?

[–]fountainhead43 0 points1 point ago

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If you touch it, you're going to have a bad time.

[–]Pesime 0 points1 point ago

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How did they put that sign there without touching it? It was a one way job...

[–]racistkramer 0 points1 point ago

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Or maybe it'll turn me into a superhero!

[–]attack_goat 0 points1 point ago

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Interaccess Lab in Toronto?

If not, they have this same sign there --- I thought it was a pretty effective warning ....

[–]Iarwain_ben_Adar 0 points1 point ago

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You will know fear, you will know pain, and then you will die.

Have a nice flight.

--G'Kar & Na'Toth

[–]smilingkevin 0 points1 point ago

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I like that; it's effective. Dying doesn't scare me half as much as thinking it'll be painful.

[–]iam4real 0 points1 point ago

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...and they know this how?

[–]dltn97 0 points1 point ago

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What if you bump into it on accident? D:

[–]asianbronyman 0 points1 point ago

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Besides the "do not touch part", this is the sign I passed as I was born.

[–]Csoltis 0 points1 point ago

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authorized personnel

[–]TheCraterProject 0 points1 point ago

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Am I the only one who thinks that this is a portal reference?

[–]mrhelton 0 points1 point ago

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I put this up on the stereolithography machine at work and it always gets a laugh when customers walk in.

[–]fappington 0 points1 point ago

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Irresistible urge to touch

[–]thegreatgazoo 0 points1 point ago

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The 1st gen Honda Insight has a warning label on the battery compartment "You will be killed or hurt".

I wonder if you can sue if you open it and aren't injured or killed?

[–]John_Targaryen 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in the voice of Ron Swanson

[–]beejwise 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted for the hilarious title.

[–]CannedBeef 0 points1 point ago

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It doesn't matter because once you're dead you won't remember the pain.

[–]NullCharacter 1 point2 points ago

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And in the desert, you can't remember your name.

[–]Battletooth 0 points1 point ago

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I have never wanted to play with anything more badly in my entire life!

[–]ICBPenguin 0 points1 point ago

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If you pizza when you were supposed to french fry, you're gonna have a bad time

[–]CreepyAlienFinger 0 points1 point ago

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anyone else see something wrong with this picture? Like one of the words?

[–]WantsNegativeKarma -4 points-3 points ago

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This is a repost, and I upvoted it. Hear that guys? I UPVOTE REPOSTS.

[–]Battletooth 4 points5 points ago

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WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT US?!

[–]Wammis 5 points6 points ago

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::Cough:: His name. ::Cough::

[–]Battletooth 4 points5 points ago

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He still didn't have to be so rude and yell at me. :(

[–]soupz 4 points5 points ago

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There there

[–]boardermax10 1 point2 points ago

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The only winning move is not to play

[–]legojerry -4 points-3 points ago

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authorised: past participle, past tense of au·thor·ize Verb:
Give official permission for or approval to: "the government authorized further aircraft production".

authorized: past participle, past tense of au·thor·ize Verb:
Give official permission for or approval to: "the government authorized further aircraft production".

I did Nazi that being spelled properly.

[–]BreSput 0 points1 point ago

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You realize authorise is also technically correct, if nonstandard?

[–]Hades1029 0 points1 point ago

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What is it?

[–]az78 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]mfein28 -1 points0 points ago

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Authorised or authorized, now that is the question

[–]XeroG -2 points-1 points ago

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If you touch the electricity, You're gonna have a bad time...

[–]vonillabean -5 points-4 points ago

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I REFUSE TO UP- OR DOWN-VOTE THIS POST NOW THAT IT'S AT 420. AND I'M YELLING CUZ I'M PASSIONATE.

[–]vonillabean -1 points0 points ago

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Damn. :| Guess I'll down-vote it in hopes that others will know what to do.

[–]Blackface420 -1 points0 points ago

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Thats a pretty spectacular warning. I will not be touching that. Ever.

[–]MayonnaiseMan -1 points0 points ago

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My Gootube response to this sign... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiVWXT5LSTo

[–]papersquares -1 points0 points ago

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I bet deadcoil could make up a great story about this.

[–]kvar13 -3 points-2 points ago

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TIL: Authorised is a word

[–]Robincognito 0 points1 point ago

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Huh?

[–]zombiehippie -2 points-1 points ago

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I can't get past authorized being misspelled

[–]tripleplayj -2 points-1 points ago

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Authorized*

[–]shockzone -3 points-2 points ago

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Bale 'er? I hardly know her.

[–]nolongerilurk -5 points-4 points ago

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*Authorized

[–]powdertoastman25 -5 points-4 points ago

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All fake signs u miss spelled authorized.

[–]thescort 2 points3 points ago

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Authorised is also correct.

[–]HeyKidsFreeCandy -1 points0 points ago

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Now if only we could get this same sign posted on Snooki.