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top 200 commentsshow all 210

[–]birdmankustomz 70 points71 points ago

My old college had condoms in the vending machines in the dorm rooms, came in handy a few times.

[–]JavaLSU 87 points88 points ago

came in handy a few times

I think that means you didn't put it on correctly.

[–]Take42 24 points25 points ago

I believe if he came in his handy, he didn't even need it.

[–]muzzman32 11 points12 points ago

10/10 Would cum in hand again

[–]Wenjamin 9 points10 points ago

in case the condom breaks "maybe baby"

[–]Kasyx709 5 points6 points ago

I just met you and this is crazy. I was drunk. It's your baby.

[–]Wammis[!] 12 points13 points ago

I figured the condoms would mean you wouldn't have to masturb... ah, nevermind read that wrong.

That being said... why not multi-task? Eat the snack while fucking the bitch.

[–]birdmankustomz 3 points4 points ago

I never said I didn't ;)

[–]Misk232 5 points6 points ago

But you never said you did.

[–]DaRabidMonkey 7 points8 points ago

Exactly. My college dorm has condoms in the vending machine. This post isn't wtf at all.

[–]Silversol99 -1 points0 points ago

This vending machine might not be at a college dorm. Maybe it's in a public library or something.

[–]BluShine 0 points1 point ago

I see no problem with condoms in a public library. It's a proven fact that reading increases hotness by 32%

[–]spurious_interrupt 187 points188 points ago

Eat my snack Based God!

[–]Kan785 70 points71 points ago

Oh my God, Based God! You can eat my snack, Based God! Fuck my bitch Based God!

[–]rarebasedswag 21 points22 points ago

BITCH MOB

[–]HideousInfant 6 points7 points ago

TRAPPED IN BASEWORLD

[–]Nsongster 74 points75 points ago

Thank you Based Vending Machine!

[–]CatsBoobiesAndStuff 2 points3 points ago

2.75 is a good deal.

[–]Armagetiton 1 point2 points ago

for 1 condom?

edit: that might be a 3 there. Too low res of a picture. Either a 1 or a 3.

[–]Eggfooyung 2 points3 points ago

Comment of the year right here.

[–]masterzordon 9 points10 points ago

That's debatable.

[–]RobReynalds 3 points4 points ago

That's debatable.

They don't think it be like it is, but it do.

[–]Nsongster -1 points0 points ago

I'm inclined to agree with him.

[–]duvide 10 points11 points ago

I've noticed a lot of people in this thread are getting the joke that Lil B is pulling on the industry with his "Based God" moniker, but if you really look into what he's trying to do, it's rather profound. The guy's actually pretty damn intelligent.

One quote that stands out: "Real talk: Don’t ever deny the voices in your head either. When you’re sitting at home alone, right, we all go through depression, anxiety. You’re by yourself and you hear those voices going wild in your head, in your unconscious, those angels by your side, your mental, your gut feeling, your heart. Listen to them. Let your mind tell you how you feel."

Read rest from the transcript from his NYU lecture: http://www.thefader.com/2012/04/12/based-scripture-the-full-transcript-of-lil-bs-lecture-at-nyu/

[–]carlosboozer 2 points3 points ago

I've noticed a lot of people in this thread are getting the joke that Lil B is pulling on the industry with his "Based God" moniker

there isn't one, and acting like there's some lame one-dimensional joke to be in on kind of devalues how good he actually is

[–]SuperTurtle 2 points3 points ago

Would explain why most of his songs are free style

Excuse me, Based Free style

[–]Man_from_the_future 5 points6 points ago

Thats part of what being Based is, not caring what people think, and just doing you. He doesnt care about the quality of his music, he just says whatever comes to him, he does it all for fun.

[–]SuperTurtle 2 points3 points ago

HOLD IT

"I'm rapping now for tha fame" -Lil B

Where is your based god now?

[–]Man_from_the_future 2 points3 points ago

What does that have to do with what I said?

Of course he does it for fame, but that is just a added bonus. He has said countless times that there was a point where he was making music for one person, and he kept at it. He is getting famous, by doing whatever he wants.

[–]SuperTurtle 1 point2 points ago

I thought it was obvious that I wasn't being serious.

[–]lionesslocks 1 point2 points ago

I've never been more sad to see someone beat me to the Based God reference :/

[–]i_am_shazzb0t 1 point2 points ago

Smell like wonton soup.

[–]Adultery 10 points11 points ago

can someone explain this "based" stuff to me? i don't keep up with the internets lately

[–]yupDIARRHEA 29 points30 points ago

Lil B is a rapper who was in a group called The Pack, most known for their song "Vans." He decided to go solo and do his own thing, creating the genre of "Based Music" in the process. He is the only artist that produces music of the genre.

Lil B is actually talented and makes really good beats, but he prefers to be a parody of the rap game in his popular songs, mostly just by being extremely vulgar. He sometimes releases a song every day of the week, with a video accompanying all of them. He also has a lot of songs that are generally him just talking. You may not like modern rap, but Lil B is actually talented and is somewhat of a cultural influence.

[–]stilwell 11 points12 points ago

Going to high school in the bay area, I can verify that Lil B is a cultural influence. I don't particularly like hip hop, but blasting Wonton Soup is so ridiculous that it's actually really fun.

You forgot one of Based Music's most important aspects though, and that's cooking. It's basically popping you shoulders and pantomiming cooking something. Flipping burgers, making sauce and chopping vegetables are some common moves. Some people are really good at it and are fun to watch, but like Based Music in general, it's a joke.

Lastly, nice username.

[–]yupDIARRHEA 2 points3 points ago

Of course I didn't forget about cooking!! I just was only trying to give the general idea of who Lil B is as opposed to Based culture.

[–]FuckBrendan -2 points-1 points ago

Little b doesn't produce a lot of his own beats, only occasionally will he produce his own songs. He did produce the entire rain in England album, which is probably the most based music ever... I just wanted to mention this.

[–]yupDIARRHEA 1 point2 points ago

wait who makes them??? they're so sick

[–]Man_from_the_future 2 points3 points ago

Various people.

He has gotten beats from lots of high profile producers like Clams.

[–]SoarinPastTheMoon 1 point2 points ago

Emerald Ruins, a 15 year old kid produces a lot of his beats too: http://lostinthesound.com/2012/05/interview-emerald-ruins-producer-for-lil-b/

[–]SuperTurtle 2 points3 points ago

I live in his city and you'll see people write "Thank you based god!" All over the place. The T-Shirt store has a shirt displayed with the definition of "based" on it (though it's completely wrong). Still frustrated that I haven't seen him yet.

[–]Fillyblunts 5 points6 points ago

From what I've gathered over the year, rapper Lil B aka Basedgod made it a thing from his songs. Listen to songs Wonton Soup and Ellen Degeneres if you want to know a little more about it.

[–]emohipster 1 point2 points ago

Didn't know it either, but a quick google showed me this

Still not quite sure if I get it though.

[–]swagtech -1 points0 points ago

Lil B is a rapper who makes intentionally terrible rap music. He calls himself "Basedgod" when he's doing that stuff. youtube him and you'll get the "you can fuck my bitch basedgod" shit.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]LurkDerp29 1 point2 points ago

this is a 4chan board. Ishygddtityydoo

[–]SuperTurtle 0 points1 point ago

Intentionally??

[–]swagtech 0 points1 point ago

Yeah. Listen to the record "I'm gay" and that's the tunes he makes that aren't a part of the basedgod persona

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago*

A little bit more info:

Lil B (Based God) is infamous because he may or may not be retarded. He releases, like, a song a day, a video every week, and has an almost asperger's amount of twitter and myspace pages with a level of involvement in social media that some would say implies a major developmental disorder. His music is aggressively not good, and is usually full of two things: total non-sequiturs and monosyllabic braggadocio.

If "First I eat my snack, then I fuck your bitch" isn't a Lil B lyric, it certainly sounds like one.

Edit: Hate to sound cliche, but I seriously have no idea why I'm being downvoted. Enlighten me?

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 0 points1 point ago

he also trolls /r/nba constantly

[–]swagtech 0 points1 point ago

that's not ACTUALLY lil b, is it? I know he's unsigned and "real" but that seems kinda sick

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 0 points1 point ago

I wouldn't be surprised if it really was him and I wouldn't be surprised if it was some sad person imitating him

Lil b is nuts either way

[–]Adultery -1 points0 points ago

non-sequiturs in rap seems to be a "thing" now

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, but usually as a clever punch line or a silly catch phrase.

Lil B just says "I'm Miley Cyrus".

[–]jgibran 20 points21 points ago

This machine needs to dispense wonton soup so the Based God can write more songs about fucking all our bitches.

[–]Tezcatzontecatl 12 points13 points ago

First I park my car, then I fuck your bitch, swag like wonton soup, thats just how I do

[–]No_you_are_wrong_ 9 points10 points ago

"wet like wonton soup, thats just how I do"

[–]Rasassination 1 point2 points ago

"eat that wonton soup, wet like wonton soup" at that point actually

[–]jgibran 5 points6 points ago

WOOP...WOOP...WOOP

[–]nodiggity0987 54 points55 points ago

first i eat your bitch. then i fuck my snack

[–]wheatsucks 4 points5 points ago

More nutritious that way I am sure. Hopefully, not a snack high in iron though.

[–]Phoenix_Wr1ght 0 points1 point ago

[–]BigPharmaSucks 0 points1 point ago

FTFY

Fiirst I eat your bitch... then I fuck my snack.

[–]nutfuckniggercuntass -1 points0 points ago

fiirst

[–]outofmyfuckinelement 33 points34 points ago

Woop Woop Swag

[–]emohipster 28 points29 points ago

Seen this so many times... are people still surprised about condoms in vending machines?

[–]Timid_Pimp 13 points14 points ago

The middle schoolers on reddit are freaking out at this post right now. That's the only logical reason I can come up with to explain the upvotes this submission has received.

[–]Stratisphear 0 points1 point ago

Yah, content that isn't anywhere near WTF is NEVER upvoted on WTF...

[–]zild3d 2 points3 points ago

yeah this wasn't really one of those audible gasp reactions of ..."what the fucking fuck!?"

[–]blindmansayswat 1 point2 points ago

Definitely depends on where you live. I never saw this in my college campus.

[–]G-Riz 0 points1 point ago

Me neither. Then again, I am in the South

[–]Askeee -1 points0 points ago

I had never actually seen that until I went to another country.

[–]enjoyablycrazy 11 points12 points ago

eat that wonton soup

[–]PINK_CAT_BUTTHOLES 1 point2 points ago

that's just how I do

[–]BestRbx 8 points9 points ago

Jesus christ, only 2.75?!

I bought a pack of these at CVS today and they nearly cost me $7!

WHERE IS THIS MACHINE, I MUST KNOW

[–]misanthropist1 4 points5 points ago

as if you need to know

[–]elmexdela 2 points3 points ago

Target or Walmart has them for about half as cheap. CVS is a ripoff on most shit in my opinion.

[–]eyecite 2 points3 points ago

Yeah I think they're even cheaper at gas stations.

[–]elmexdela 2 points3 points ago

Really? I always thought that for the convenience factor they would make you pay more. I might have to look into this.

[–]eyecite 1 point2 points ago

Well just off the top of my head (before I read any comments) I was thinking they were 5 bucks for a 3-pack at the gas station. I guess it depends on where you live; I'm in the south.

[–]elmexdela 2 points3 points ago

I usually go with the economic like 24 or 36 pack. No I'm not talking up my game, I have a girlfriend. So I guess I'm not sure about the 3 pack either!

[–]punzada 2 points3 points ago

I'm going to do a favor for you... condomman.com

500 of my favorite condoms, $66 shipped to my door.

Best investment of my entire life.

[–]BestRbx 1 point2 points ago

Still only 16, so I didn't want the rents to know. I figured I'd rather be prepared at the point, so I decided to get some for the wallet.

[–]sigmafisherpromega 2 points3 points ago

Don't carry them around in your wallet all the time. It wears them out. Although I supposed if the air bubble is still in the package it's probably ok.

[–]BestRbx 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, I bought the three pack. I keep one in my wallet "just in case" and the other two are duct taped up under one of my dresser drawers where wandering eyes can't find them. ;)

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

I think this is a great idea.... Why isn't this everywhere?

[–]Winkelkater 8 points9 points ago

what's etf about that? these vending machines are normal here...

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

How the fuck does a pack of Juicy Fruit cost almost as much as a Hershey's bar?

[–]theimpolitegentleman 28 points29 points ago

Juicy Fruit ain't taking no shit.

[–]Cloud6556 -2 points-1 points ago

I wish I had more upvotes for you, you impolitegentleman.

[–]theimpolitegentleman 4 points5 points ago

theimpolitegentleman got enough votes for everyone.

Because mine is the one that counts

[–]Cloud6556 -3 points-2 points ago

You've outdone yourself.

[–]upvoteOrKittyGetsIt 6 points7 points ago

This is so not WTF worthy.

[–]facemelt 3 points4 points ago

Good guy asshole uses protection with your bitch.

[–]thaztrain35 5 points6 points ago

im here for basedgod

[–]420goonie 3 points4 points ago

Read this in Basedgod's voice. Then I park my car...

[–]eelnitsud 16 points17 points ago

This is pretty common around college campuses.

[–]BerserkerBill 4 points5 points ago

Not WTF, but I L'dOL

[–]smeagles 3 points4 points ago

Oh damn based vending machine. You got bitches.

[–]Flamez001 4 points5 points ago

read that caption in lil b's voice

[–]cl4ncyp4nts 2 points3 points ago

Kit-Kat Extra Crispy is real?

[–]Psyballa 6 points7 points ago

swag

[–]Ricos_Roughnecks 1 point2 points ago

That's a good price.

[–]DJ_JohnnyD 1 point2 points ago

That nickel that you'd get back would never be used for something productive. You think you're saving money...but it's a SCAM.

[–]al73r 1 point2 points ago

derrriiiick!!!

[–]dagem 1 point2 points ago

I'm guessing a hotel/motel vending machine. That would make it a standard item along with tooth brushes, floss, mouthwash, and so on, not really a WTF.

[–]CrackisWin 1 point2 points ago

Thank You BasedGod.

[–]SchwinnKid 1 point2 points ago

Words like bitch and faggot don't carry the same weight as words like nigger. Come on kids, bigotry is more than just racism. It's sexism and homophobia too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

How is this WTF?

[–]Popodom 1 point2 points ago

When I was In Rhodes (Greece) I found a vending machine where I could buy cold beer, chocolate, condoms and quasonts!

[–]manasteel88 1 point2 points ago

Kinda reminds me of the archer episode where Sterling uses a candy wrapper as a condom. I guess he pressed E3 instead of E4.

[–]artvandelay982 1 point2 points ago

Nothing WTF about providing college kids with a means to safe sex...

[–]Crux315 1 point2 points ago

HOW THE FUCK IS THIS WTF?

[–]Batgasm 1 point2 points ago

THANK YOU BASED GOD

[–]iampoop 1 point2 points ago

rare Based Vending * LADIES WATCH ITS AMAZING!! OMGGGG!! AHHH

[–]SupermanIsNoHome 1 point2 points ago

WHAT A #RARE VENDING MACHINE. #TYBG YOU CAN FUCK MY BITCH BASEDGOD.

[–]a0t0f 3 points4 points ago

post is so dumb

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

[–]knudow 1 point2 points ago

I've been seeing condoms in vending machines with snacks all my life. I don't know why this is WTF.

Is it uncommon in the USA?

[–]asocialnetwork 4 points5 points ago

Apparently. In Europe every vending machine has condoms and lighters. Some also have smoking papers and pregnancy tests. Americans always seem to be really surprised by this

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

Oooh, Twizzlers!

[–]wiznrd 0 points1 point ago

I pop a perc, i fuck yo bitch. Got you blowin up her phone while she suckin dick.

[–]misanthropist1 0 points1 point ago

Condoms in vending machines is a good idea.

[–]tristramcandy 0 points1 point ago

I came here to eat twizzlers and fuck bitches. And I just finished my twizzlers.

[–]myusernamebarelyfits 0 points1 point ago

$2.75!?! Good deal

[–]bagadees 0 points1 point ago

$2.75 is pretty good, just check that expiration date.

[–]codyhorne 0 points1 point ago

I posted this months ago. Cool. I can tell that it's mine because "First" is spelt wrong.

[–]darker4308 0 points1 point ago

I really wish they would put these back in vending machines. I assume the reason they don't is insurance, but I HATE going to the store buy condoms.

[–]Theopocalypse 0 points1 point ago

I miss college.

[–]epyon22 0 points1 point ago

Probably going to get buried but 2 of my roommates bought a vending machine for our house of 8 guys and we had condoms in it all the time. Was pretty funny to watch peoples reactions to the condoms, then they would buy candy. Had to take a close look at this picture to make sure it wasn't ours.

[–]Therion418 0 points1 point ago

Thank You Based God

[–]theseekerofbacon 0 points1 point ago

I bet you also wwebsite since i was a sperm in my daddys balls.

[–]xyphanite 0 points1 point ago

I don't think those will help you when my husky tries to bite your face off

[–]NumbersMakeMeHorny 0 points1 point ago

I'll E4 the trash out of you

[–]skitslefritzer 0 points1 point ago

Sex and munchies go hand in hand.

[–]gosuprobe 0 points1 point ago

Came for a White-Ra reference. Left disappointed.

[–]justifications 0 points1 point ago

"Fiirst"..... mmmmmmmmm

does this vending machine also serve potato?

[–]Ricolientje 0 points1 point ago

Honestly I find this normal. My goddamned GYM has them.

even though they explicitly state that sex isn't allowed in the gym/swimming pool etc...

[–]GunsAndHoses 0 points1 point ago

85 cents for a pack of gum

[–]JRLindgren22 0 points1 point ago

Posted this months ago. Got more downvotes than upvotes =(

[–]now_stop_that 0 points1 point ago

If you put the condom on the candy bar, the calories don't count.

[–]runekey 0 points1 point ago

I hate the purple ones.

[–]illohxc 0 points1 point ago

Fiirst!

[–]dinner-party 0 points1 point ago

I really don't think this is a bad idea.

[–]Bow_FoSho 0 points1 point ago

Smells like wonton soup....

[–]TronCorleone 0 points1 point ago

Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirst I eat my snack...

[–]Codeleaf 0 points1 point ago

College campus. its commonplace.

[–]Zamorak 0 points1 point ago

A whole pack for a dollar????

[–]-STRONGBLACKWOMAN- 0 points1 point ago

I USED TO BE BASED LIKE YOU

BUT THEN I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE

[–]miacane86 0 points1 point ago

First* you learn to spell

[–]grillwalker 0 points1 point ago

This Gum has no flavour!

[–]cancer1337 0 points1 point ago

based

[–]spillpop 0 points1 point ago

Fiirst I read the meme. Then I realize there's a typo.

[–]zimboombah 0 points1 point ago

sensationally, at that!

[–]heyfudge 0 points1 point ago

I still can't forget that time when I asked my mom to buy me a condom when I was a kid because I thought it's candy.

[–]With_No_Hands 0 points1 point ago

Then you park your car?

[–]Reach0110 0 points1 point ago

Lil b reference? Kinda...

[–]TheFluxIsThis 0 points1 point ago

How is this WTF? Have you never seen a vending machine selling condoms? I swear every service station restroom has one of those things.

[–]AddictiveSoup 0 points1 point ago

Hold the goddamn phone. What's a kit kat crisp and why the fuck don't I have one?

[–]malfurianna 0 points1 point ago

AMG THEY HAVE TASTYCAKES!!! <3 :)

[–]cruxae 0 points1 point ago

My university dorm has this downstairs, but they're expenive as hell. $8 for a pack of 3. Fuck it, I'm going in dry

[–]RaNd0m_P3NGu1n_N1NjA 0 points1 point ago

lol what a random thing to see in a vending machine lol!!! where was this vending machine? i wish i was there!!!

[–]bespectacledboobs 0 points1 point ago

SWAG!

[–]Armond404 0 points1 point ago

OH MY GOD BASED GOD, YOU CAN EAT ALL MY SNACKS BASED GOD.

[–]ohmandi 0 points1 point ago

My college has vending machines with condoms and lube amidst the candy in all of the residence halls. It still catches me off guard when I go to buy a Snickers bar.

[–]Beaumont21 0 points1 point ago

2.75? thats a decent deal

[–]jeeaudley 0 points1 point ago

That vending machine is clearly for coneheads:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0Jx5W8JuVA

[–]LaughingFlame 0 points1 point ago

  1. insert money
  2. buy snack
  3. kick the shit out of the machiene to get snack
  4. eat snack
  5. fuck bitches

[–]Brownmagic012 0 points1 point ago

First words of Based God

[–]Crappedinplanet 0 points1 point ago

Run lassie! Run far away from this man! You do not want to find out what happens when he finishes his snickers!

[–]Watermelon_God 0 points1 point ago

not wtf normal in many colleges

[–]kidred2001 0 points1 point ago

Read this in a Russian accent. It's terrifying.

[–]pisunCHECK 0 points1 point ago

DUDE! You have the order all wrong!!! "First I fuck your bitch, AND THEN I eat my snack"! Never fuck on a full stomach. That causes cramping u noob.

[–]nicholmikey 0 points1 point ago

Jokes aside this looks like a good idea.

[–]mybloodiswhisky -1 points0 points ago

OP is a fag

[–]inb4_shitredditsays 0 points1 point ago

[–]MorticianofFaith 0 points1 point ago

Nice typo, bro.

[–]rodmandirect -5 points-4 points ago

Anyone else hear that in Ali G voice?

[–]SirTreeTreeington 7 points8 points ago

Since it is meant to be heard in a Lil B voice...no...no I did not

[–]Chachoregard 5 points6 points ago

Respekt!

[–]findoo 0 points1 point ago

Heard it in 2pac's voice, hit em' up style.

[–]whowantstoknow -1 points0 points ago

Don't eat the Trojan gum. It tastes like rubber.