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When your friend introduces you to someone for the first time, and then leaves to take a phone call... (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by kmp67

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[–]furyasd 178 points179 points ago

Hum, so, yeah.

[–]fuck_kyle 122 points123 points ago

Yep.

[–]Jesus_Took_My_Wheel 106 points107 points ago

Mmmm hmmmm...

[–]Sovietpig 100 points101 points ago

Weathers been nice today.

[–]Virzy 79 points80 points ago

Sooo....

[–]trsn 62 points63 points ago

Heh, that guy... Yeah...

[–]Theothor 54 points55 points ago

...

[–]thechaserx 31 points32 points ago

I've gotta go... place. See you... maybe.

[–]Heterosethual 21 points22 points ago

Hey... here's my number, so call me maybe... maybe.

[–]thechaserx 17 points18 points ago

You too!

[–]iama_brick 33 points34 points ago

you know what, I'm gonna use the bathroom

[–]IAmA_Zombie 22 points23 points ago

Yeah I'm gonna go too

[–]BlueElephants 55 points56 points ago

Christian Bale bonus reactions gifs:

http://i.imgur.com/UCgyu.gif

http://i.imgur.com/6UqNg.gif

[–]wehopeuchoke 11 points12 points ago

This is great, but what we really want is Kermit bonus reaction gifs.

[–]BlueElephants 21 points22 points ago

Here's the only piece I have in stock at the moment.

http://i.imgur.com/wpEqT.gif

[–]Andro30 9 points10 points ago

I'll take it.

[–]Finaltidus 19 points20 points ago

you sir, are classy as fuck.

[–]Dustin- -5 points-4 points ago

I think the guy in OP's pic is Noah Wyle, not Christian Bale.

[–]Mogwoggle 1 point2 points ago

Is this some reference I'm missing?

[–]Dustin- -1 points0 points ago

No? It looks more like Noah Wyle than Christian Bale. Perhaps BlueElephants thought it was Christian Bale because someone posted the Christian Bale/Kermit the Frog 4chan thread?

[–]walkinonthesidewalks 7 points8 points ago

that is not noah wyle. not even a little.

[–]Mogwoggle 3 points4 points ago

I've always seen it as Christian Bale (Can't back up source so can't say for sure)
But I can see where it might look like Noah Wyle

[–]petsounds94 1 point2 points ago

The link to the Christian Bale pic... He's pro-life? What?

[–]gefish 45 points46 points ago

Just say "why the fuck would _____ do this to us?" . Then both of you guys can talk about the one thing you guys have in common, ______. How he's always pulling shit like this etc. At least you'll get through one phone call.

[–]ceslek 44 points45 points ago

"why the fuck would _____ do this to us?"

"yeah, he always does stuff like this, like..."

"..."

"..."

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

To lengthen the talking time, start with "so, this is awkward" and then names/occupations/etc. Don't speak too fast though.

Wait for an awkward pause after the small talk and THEN say "why the fuck would ___ do this to us?" Laugh. Whip out your phone if that doesn't lead anywhere.

You've tried.

Pat yourself on the back.

[–]ceslek 27 points28 points ago

literally pats self on back after conversation attempt

[–]lukey19 14 points15 points ago

Don't start with "so, this is awkward." That just makes it uncomfortably awkward when it doesn't need to be.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

I think how you say it makes the difference. I've said it before and laughed a bit afterwards and it turned out fine. If you just say "so, this is awkward" and then stare them down... it won't lighten the mood.

[–]flounder19 7 points8 points ago

that's why I always follow up on that statement by whipping out my dick and saying "but this is awkwarder" If he whips out his dick too, touches it to mine and exclaims "I guess that makes this the awkwardest." then I know we're gonna be friends. If not, he was probably a racist anyway.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

So many advantages of having a penis :(

[–]Dentarthurdent42 1 point2 points ago

Do you keep a copy of Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals handy for such an occasion?

[–]OneMillionDollHairs 11 points12 points ago

There was an episode of Seinfeld about this, how George and Elaine had nothing to talk about when they were alone together, so they only talked about Jerry.

500 years from now, historians will use Seinfeld to decipher the neuroses of our modern society.

[–]petsounds94 43 points44 points ago

Is that Christian Bale?

[–]Chunkydude95 167 points168 points ago

No. Thats Kermit the frog.

[–]jogz699 26 points27 points ago*

I'm pretty sure Christian Bale is the Batman.

EDIT: I'm not the pretty Christian Bale :(

[–]abom420 13 points14 points ago

Holy shit you're the pretty Christian bale? You should do an AMA.

[–]TheChosenOne013 19 points20 points ago

No, I'm pretty sure Kermit is the Batman

[–]dyszka4u 4 points5 points ago

switch-a-roo etc.

[–]Traner 5 points6 points ago

ah the old reddit fist up a cunt

[–]Alien1993 5 points6 points ago

Nope.

[–]fusems 0 points1 point ago

I thought he was Noah Wyle.

[–]Sinnermario 14 points15 points ago

where do you know XXXX from , is always a good starter .

[–]cake-please 5 points6 points ago

"Who shot first?"

[–]Cecek 100 points101 points ago

obligatory...

[–]trsn 42 points43 points ago

A link to a Chive picture of an old 4chan thread?

[–]vorpalsword92 61 points62 points ago

i wonder if i should add a 9gag watermark on it

[–]TheoQ99 22 points23 points ago

Don't forget some funnyjunk or damnlol, or meme-whatever watermarks too.

[–]vorpalsword92 34 points35 points ago

and lets not forget to add a demotivator on it for good measure

[–]ihaveacalculator 16 points17 points ago

And then make it into a rage comic with a "true story" panel thrown at the end for good measure.

[–]Zelcron 9 points10 points ago

Brought to you by ebaum's world.

[–]I_Will_Allow_This 5 points6 points ago

Repost for the 5th time on /r/funny, 1600 karma.

[–]hero2bash 2 points3 points ago

le liek a boss tru story of my lyf le faith in le humanity le restored

[–]Jayers -1 points0 points ago

and then we should not do anything else to it because this joke went way too far.

[–]Colostomy 4 points5 points ago

The thing that person ripped off.

[–]Nobkin 12 points13 points ago

Reminds me of that Seinfeld episode "The Dog" where George and Elaine realize they don't really have anything in common without Jerry around, except making fun of him.

[–]abasss 17 points18 points ago

Kermit Bale is the best thing of the internet.

[–]mehblahwhatever 6 points7 points ago

Okay, now I really want one of the Nolan Batman movies to be redone frame by frame replacing Bale with Kermit.

[–]SpanishDynamite 5 points6 points ago

This is beautiful

[–]Fat_Alberta 5 points6 points ago

Source?

[–]23mac 11 points12 points ago

Yes

[–]patrobhug 2 points3 points ago

I would kiss that man.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

As a person who used to be socially retarded this would happen too much. But here's what you do.

Talk to them.

[–]welltheresAbacon 10 points11 points ago

The thing is, what the hell am I supposed to say?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

So, how do you know X person?

They reply with college/school/uni/workplace/old friend

Ah right, so what do you study? Any plans for university? Do you live on campus? How's your flat? Do you hate work as much as x does? Do you hate your boss as much as x does? So what neighbourhood are you from?

It's easy, each answer produces more questions. It's like a dialogue choice in a game.

[–]isthisoriginalenough 18 points19 points ago

"so, do you hate your boss as much as he does?"

"yeah, no, I am his boss."

...

...

[–]welltheresAbacon 6 points7 points ago

But I don't care what they study, or any of those other questions. I don't want to ask him questions when I don't care about the answer.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

People are beyond fascinating. They have all these things to tell you.

[–]IAmA_Zombie 3 points4 points ago

But whay if they don't want to? Sometimes people don't even care about what they're doing with their life.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

There are extremely few people who won't have anything to talk about. If they don't, that's cool, you've met a rare creature and leave them be.

[–]Iwokeupwithoutapillo 6 points7 points ago*

I'm a rare creature! Hooray!

[–]flounder19 1 point2 points ago

Normally they're meant as a catalyst for other interesting things. if a question dies just move on, but maybe something cool will come up and you can talk about that. At least that's what I imagine, doing that has never really worked for me.

I've gotten much better results with saying something edgy (but not too edgy) and then seriously looking at them for an answer. I personally like the "So... any weird sexual fetishes?" question because even if they don't have one (or don't want to tell you) it can start a conversation about sexual fetishes which is better than discussing the details of their basic daily routine.

[–]welltheresAbacon 2 points3 points ago

Asking that question will make quite the first impression.

[–]hairybarry 6 points7 points ago

woah

retard

[–]Liam_Galt 2 points3 points ago

To be fair, if I met Kermit all I could really do is nod to contain my excitement, as well.

[–]Attila_the_lol 2 points3 points ago

That's how the girl and I met years ago.

[–]rawlence 2 points3 points ago

I went to work and accidentally left this on at 11:00am. It is now 7:30pm, and still holds true

[–]TheAdAgency 3 points4 points ago

I'd start the conversation with something intriguing:

Like "<our mutual friend has a lot of respect for you, especially as a creative writer" -- await smile from new guy -- then follow up with "of course he says you'll never really succeed until you stop smoking angel dust out of a broken light-bulb".*

Could go a couple different directions, but I would happily read any of them latter on Reddit, and that's a blood guarantee. (Not real blood of course, heavens knows where you've been.) But I'll squish big ant into an envelope and mail it to you so can mix with your ant entrails to affirm our pact.. Feel free to disclose it is part of a social-science project you're working on should it turn ugly.

*BillHicksbitIthink

[–]buffalo_Fart 1 point2 points ago

i had a friend who would do the same thing only it was lets go visit my friends in another state. then when it came time to go out he would be like nah ima hang back here. so I would be with people i barely knew.

[–]FuzzieDunlop 1 point2 points ago

As opposed to being introduced for the second time...

[–]Noturordinaryguy 1 point2 points ago

Worst case scenario for an SAP

[–]UncleTogie 1 point2 points ago

C'mon, it's easy. You talk about the jackass that just left you together.

"So where'd you meet that fruit-loop?"

[–]WimvwJr 1 point2 points ago

takes out phone

[–]THE_AMAZING_OPTIMIST 2 points3 points ago

I usually just say with a cool voice "You're my bitch now"

[–]tacobellassasin 0 points1 point ago

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