I wasn't meaning to do what I did that day. Really, it all just came together so weirdly, kinda like the word "weirdly." It wasn't supposed to be a big deal at all, but BOY! the way things turned out turned my world upside down.

I was tying my shoes when I saw something sticking out of the ground. Naturally, I pulled on it. Then, a big banana came out of nowhere. "Boy, you ought not pull on people's toes," he said.

"I didn't pull on nobody's toes," I said.

"Oh, never mind. Must've been someone else."

That made me queasy from the start, and I KNEW something big was gonna happen that day. And I was right. It would turn my world upside down.

Well, I was walking down the sidewalk thinking to myself, 'man, it sure is comfortable to have my shoes tied.' Just then, everything turned to black. I didn't understand why this happened, but it didn't take me long to figure it out. DUH! On Fridays, Harvey the one-legged man from Montana always turns out the lights. I walked over to the switch and turned them back on. That's when I KNEW something big was about to occur.

I walked into the jewelry store to buy a diamond bracelet for my mother (it was Mother's Day, you know). They told me they were all out of them, but I could buy a pickle and jelly sandwich instead. What were they thinking!?!? My mother HATES pickle and jelly sandwiches. She likes mayonnaise and peanut butter cornbread salad. So, I bought two pickle and jelly sandwiches for lunch and left the store. But that's irrelevant, I promise.

When I got to the lawnmower repair shop and picked up my weed-eater, the plain truth hit me: it was getting hot outside. I ran out of the store and began getting worried. Everyone began talking with a thick Australian accent. I couldn't think of anything to do except cry like a baby, so I gave in to temptation and beat that little doggy in the street with the weed-eater.. What was a little doggy doing in the street anyway? Who did he think he was, Bob Seger or something?

Well, I got back home and a kangaroo was running all over my yard. I was in Australia! My world had turned upside down... I just couldn't take it anymore. I was about to kill myself when I realized what had gone all wrong and turned my world upside down: Harvey doesn't like the jewelry store manager, Harold. I threw up my pickle and jelly sandwiches as fast as I could and started laughing really hard. I told that fat girl to get out of my yard with that hula-hoop and take off her silly Bee costume. Anyway, Harvey hit the switch labeled "World Upside Down" and everything went back to normal. Thank Goodness!

Just remember, NEVER let Harvey the one-legged man from Montana know you bought some pickle and jelly sandwiches from Harold, no matter how much the fat girl makes you laugh.