this post was submitted on
1,322 points (53% like it)
10,584 up votes 9,262 down votes
shortlink:

funny

subscribe2,576,726 readers

6,721 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).

Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.

If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators

The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.

CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for
to anything interesting: news article, blog entry, video, picture...
message the moderators

MODERATORS

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

1321
1322

It's okay to be Takei (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by SuzieDerpkins

all 159 comments
sorted by:
best
best
top
new
hot
controversial
old

[–]FarmerTedd 390 points391 points ago

Upvote, however, this one is better

[–]Xodah 156 points157 points ago

Takei out of fucking nowhere.

[–]suddenly_takei 331 points332 points ago

Why hello there.

[–]StAnonymous 53 points54 points ago

5 months and 3 days. Not bad. You get an upvote.

[–]johnnygrant 1 point2 points ago

There is a reddit username for everything

[–]anymooseposter 0 points1 point ago

Rule 34?

[–]EA_Support_Rep 1 point2 points ago

Correct. I believe it was relative_rule_34 or something.

[–]caracal12 0 points1 point ago

Helloooooooo

[–]MagnusTheGreat 0 points1 point ago

"Oh my..."

[–]ImposterProfessorOak 34 points35 points ago

bonus frame

[–]ruslan_a 5 points6 points ago

Expected professor oak.

[–]quirkywriter 9 points10 points ago

OH MY

[–]shit_and_piss 15 points16 points ago

It's true, it is.

[–]ayrofyter966 0 points1 point ago

So glorious and gleaming.

[–]Sypherin -1 points0 points ago

Tweet this to Takei, if he hasn't seen it, he will love it.

[–]Pattonius -1 points0 points ago

I can't stop laughing - damn you!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]greenyellowbird 1 point2 points ago

Thank you....I've been a Reddit lurker for a long time. Now that I'm posting my fragile ego is bruised when I thought I was witty.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FarmerTedd 11 points12 points ago

T-dawg said you were coming right for us

[–]Veadro 0 points1 point ago

What is this from?

[–]DayoftheDead 6 points7 points ago

The Walking Dead

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]toddybear 1 point2 points ago

Definitely the walking dead

[–]I_am_salad 0 points1 point ago

Got rope?

[–]liquidMountaun 4 points5 points ago

10/10 novelty account, would shoot in head and torture for stupidity again.

[–]MuffinBoss 3 points4 points ago

Your not even trying anymore.

[–]lonepenguin -1 points0 points ago

Have an upvote for spite

[–]SenorBigotez 313 points314 points ago

SPOILER: "There's no effin' way." Read what the lady says like that. For those who didn't get it and feel lazy.

[–]billiarddaddy 138 points139 points ago

Holy shit. Why didn't I get that?

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

People who read punctuation as intended won't understand it, because they pause and put emphasis on F. If it had said: "There is no f in way" you probably would have got it, but you read the intended pauses implied by apostrophes: "There is no 'f' in way"

[–]MadManuel 6 points7 points ago

Thank you.. Read the comments, hoping for an explanation.. Now the post is actually humorous. Upvote for punctuational correctitude.

[–]billiarddaddy 0 points1 point ago

Upvote for use of 'correctitude'.

[–]mtheoryx 40 points41 points ago

Because you're high?

[–]billiarddaddy 59 points60 points ago

No. But that would be nice.

[–]Dartakattack 23 points24 points ago

It's why you didn't get it.

[–]easterlingman 16 points17 points ago

Correct. I am high, and got it, and also got creeped out by Takei's face.

[–]superexcellent12 5 points6 points ago

No, no, no. I'm super high and I got it. I'm still wondering how to fit an elephant in a safeway bag though.

[–]billiarddaddy 0 points1 point ago

Trunk first.

[–]ShitEatingTaco 1 point2 points ago

holy fack...

[–]barbados-slim 2 points3 points ago

confirmed

[–]StAnonymous 2 points3 points ago

Don't worry. I had to read it twice to get it.

[–]dont_press_ctrl-W 9 points10 points ago

This kind of word play is a little too sophisticated for a non-native speaker like me.

[–]tastycake23 10 points11 points ago

TIL: what ctrl-W does.

[–]Kazaril 2 points3 points ago

I hate you. I had to re-open the tab and find your comment again to express my hate.

[–]tastycake23 0 points1 point ago

Don't hate me hate the guys username...

[–]Kevlar_socks -1 points0 points ago

ctrl+shift+t

[–]PalermoJohn 0 points1 point ago

ctrl-W(here the fuck did it go)

[–]AsAChemicalEngineer -1 points0 points ago

ctrl-shft-t brings the tab back.

[–]wastegate 2 points3 points ago

Don't worry, it's too complicated for native speakers too.

[–]EatBeets 0 points1 point ago

Yeah it's the kind of joke wordplay that doesn't translate well when you write it down, the joke is in the way the sentence is verbalized. Don't feel bad.

[–]ghettajetta 9 points10 points ago

...A.F.E.W.A.Y...what? ohhhhhhh.

[–]Nokadota 2 points3 points ago

Oh. Well, now I feel sofa king we todd did.

[–]Pandahh 0 points1 point ago

I am not a clever man.

[–]TStru 52 points53 points ago

What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Eliphino

[–]Mrthatoneguy 29 points30 points ago

What does a chameleon have when it can't blend with its surroundings?

A reptile dysfunction

[–]bernardery 25 points26 points ago

You'd call it perfectly normal, actually. Chameleon color change is social.

[–]klieber 31 points32 points ago

Thanks Dwight.

[–]DontSayAlot 0 points1 point ago

False

[–]RKOdick20 -2 points-1 points ago

what animal is this? CLUE : Musician and Gay

[–]vivvav 9 points10 points ago

Unbelievable! I can't believe it! How many times- How many times we gotta do-!?

[–]GsusKreist 1 point2 points ago

Usually I get these things right away, but it took me an embarrassingly long time to get this. :/

[–]Chalupa112 8 points9 points ago

ohhh god good one.

[–]ftang777 6 points7 points ago

I never understood this one. Am I missing what makes this funny?

[–]lolitsaj 15 points16 points ago

It's supposed to be pronounced like "Hell if I know"

You're probably pronouncing it like "Ell if ee no"

[–]ftang777 18 points19 points ago

*HOLY CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Strongbad?

[–]Cendeu 1 point2 points ago

I pronounced it "el - IH - feh - no"

[–]judgej2 0 points1 point ago

Hehe - I read it like Philippino and didn't get it either. Ta.

[–]blkstallion88 6 points7 points ago

If you say elephino (ell-if-eye-no), it sounds like "Hell if I know!"

[–]ftang777 -2 points-1 points ago

That's exactly how I read it...

[–]RidiculousIncarnate 37 points38 points ago

My little sister trolled my dad with a joke like this. He's always bantered with his kids to keep us on our toes and our wits sharp though as we've grown up it's slowly come back to bite him. The youngest sister in our family finally got the better of the old man one day.

We're walking into Target and she looks innocently up at my dad and says, "Hey dad, how do you get a five hundred pound man into a VW Bug (Her favorite car at the time)." He says he doesn't know.

"Just take the F out of way."

Couldn't have timed it better but a family was walking by us and dad says, much louder than he should have, "There is no F in Way!" Immediately realizes what she did and sheepishly avoids eye contact with a rather annoyed mother. Who you could see was clearly debating whether or not to scold my dad right there in the store.

Good times.

[–]Sorkijan 6 points7 points ago

That woman sounds like a bitch.

[–]superexcellent12 1 point2 points ago

I think "a rather annoyed mother" is referring to OP's mother, not just some random lady at Target with her kids.

[–]Sorkijan 1 point2 points ago

Ahhh, I had to re-read it, but you could definitely be right. For some reason I read that as the mother of the family walking by, but now that you mention it, that's probably the case.

[–]superexcellent12 0 points1 point ago

I admire your tenacity, to actually follow up on that, haha

[–]Sorkijan 0 points1 point ago

I asked op of the comment and yes he is referring to the mother of the family walking by.

[–]RidiculousIncarnate 0 points1 point ago

Nah, I'm sure it just caught her off guard, she had her own kids with which probably accounted for the look she gave him.

[–]Sorkijan 0 points1 point ago

If I were your dad and she did scold me I would have told her to go F herself in her A if there was any room left from the broom

[–]Sorkijan 2 points3 points ago

When you said, "a rather annoyed mother" were you referring to your family's mother? or a mother of the family walking by.

[–]RidiculousIncarnate 0 points1 point ago

Oops, sorry. The mother of the family who was passing by us. Our mom wasn't with us that day but she probably would have just mocked our dad for falling into such an easy trap.

[–]arcspree 23 points24 points ago

13 years since i first heard that joke.. 13 years to finally understand that joke...

[–]nastyboot 18 points19 points ago

I JUST DID THIS ON MY ROOMMATE AND IT WORKED. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[–]Veadro 19 points20 points ago

BOYFRIEND HERE, JUST CONFIRMED IT WORKS ON GIRLFRIENDS.

BTW DID I MENTION I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

[–]Cambridge_Shoulders -3 points-2 points ago*

I have a girlfriend too, she's asian, wooo her parents sure do not like me.

BTW: She's Asian, play your cards right and i'm sure you'll get one too. but don't tell them you're looking for an Asian, they don't like that. It's perfectly fine for them to say they're into black guys though. Ugh, Asians.

Edit: Why the downvotes? I was just expressing a popular sentiment I've seen in other askreddits.

[–]nastyboot 8 points9 points ago

wat

[–]Sorkijan 3 points4 points ago

He said: I have a girlfriend too, she's asian, wooo her parents sure do not like me.

BTW: She's Asian, play your cards right and i'm sure you'll get one too. but don't tell them you're looking for an Asian, they don't like that. It's perfectly fine for them to say they're into black guys though. Ugh, Asians.

[–]Veadro 0 points1 point ago

So proud of my children.

[–]oh_no_a_hobo 9 points10 points ago

I just tried it on my brother and he's all like, "The F out of way part doesn't exist." "What?" "There's no F in way." Then I laughed maniacally and darted to my room.

[–]LarzHoneytoast 2 points3 points ago

I just did this on some broad. She laughed after I delivered the punch line. And then said nothing.

[–]furbit73 5 points6 points ago

I feel like this is really funny but i don't get it...

Edit: OOOOhhhhhhh. I see what you did there [upvote]

[–]gH0o5T 1 point2 points ago

Please, explain, I don't get it.

[–]WalrusInMySheets 1 point2 points ago

This would be funnier if Safeway was a nation wide grocery store.

[–]BlueBob-Omb -1 points0 points ago

I came here to comment, how widespread is Safeway, anyway?

[–]adrianmonk 1 point2 points ago

Not only is there no f in way, but...

[–]Inn_Tents 1 point2 points ago

It took me entirely too long to get this joke. I was busy looking for Asian stereotype related humor.

[–]Kris10hope 1 point2 points ago

Hahaha upvotes for all!!!

[–]spekode 1 point2 points ago

I didn't get it. Still upvoted. Takei is cool.

[–]polychronous 1 point2 points ago

Please call him by his full title: George Takei, King of Facebook.

[–]ZiggyOnMars 2 points3 points ago

Reading his facebook is like a conclusion of /r/funny

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Since I first heard this joke way back in 1988, I thought it was stupid. Fast forward to now, and I still think it isn't funny.

[–]mikeyelvis92 2 points3 points ago

I think the video this is taken from is funny enough on its own.

[–]nnnjc 4 points5 points ago

At first I thought I didn't get it, checked the comments and apparently I did and it's just not funny.

[–]goonerredandwhite 1 point2 points ago

what the hell is a safeway bag anyway?

[–]Balls2theW4ll 1 point2 points ago

i feel like i laughed at this a lot more than i should

[–]LarzHoneytoast 1 point2 points ago

It's his face in the final image. It killed me

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure this came from a video Takei did about social security. I saw it briefly while waiting for a friend at the social security office, and if I remember correctly, it was really really cheesy.

[–]binar 2 points3 points ago

I was just at the Social Security Office as well and yeah, that's where it's from. I watched it like 3 times waiting for them to call my number.

[–]DeepRoot 1 point2 points ago

Me too! And, and... and I work the overnight shift. "Did we just become best friends?"

[–]sanddanglokta 1 point2 points ago

I waited for an hour for my card, and takei made it worthwhile. Mostly I just pictured him calling Clint mccance a douchebag.

[–]greenyellowbird 0 points1 point ago

Had to read that 8 times to understand it.

[–]FarmerTedd 1 point2 points ago

Chin up kiddo

[–]chicagogam 0 points1 point ago

is that beverly crusher?? is 'effin ok to say...it's already a cleaned up version of the F word right? or did it not do a good enough clean up job and is still considered a swear? there's a town in illinois called effingham and i always think it sounds a little..bad.

[–]iiiitsjess 0 points1 point ago

I just had to read this like 4 times....trying to figure it out. Ugh. I finally got it and had a giggle. Thanks!

[–]Goto10 0 points1 point ago

/makes pistol-hands /shakes pistol hands up and down alternatively

[–]teacoopz 0 points1 point ago

I had to read a bunch of comments before I finally got this one. I feel so dumb and yet so satisfied.

[–]UndyingArt 0 points1 point ago

This is from a government video that plays on the tv at the social security building, something to do with identity theft. tripped me out when i saw it

[–]Marloco 0 points1 point ago

Who read it in his voice?

[–]diMario 0 points1 point ago

How do you get an elephant out of the water ?

Wet.

How do you get two elephants out of the water?

One by one.

[–]Ragefacesoflucy 0 points1 point ago

I saw that video while waiting in the social security office

[–]MrDoubleE 0 points1 point ago

Well played.

[–]Diels_Alder 0 points1 point ago

This bugs me: okay doesn't rhyme with Takei.

[–]cpellegrino 0 points1 point ago

somebody explain...

[–]uberponky 0 points1 point ago

"There's no 'F' in way!" can be heard as "There's no effin' way!". Took me a while to get it.

[–]cpellegrino 0 points1 point ago

thank you :)

[–]SuperTurtle 0 points1 point ago

After I read this a few weeks ago I tried it on my friend and she fell into the trap perfectly! The gods of comedy shined on my that day, my friends.

[–]gregsaliva 0 points1 point ago

As someone who has not watched Star Trek in 30 years, let me ask: Who is this terrible woman? She's the spitting image of a former boss of mine. She was the F in "nightmare like her."

[–]remedialrob 0 points1 point ago

Patty Duke

[–]joeldavis 0 points1 point ago

I'm not sure but it's possible that it's Grace Lee Whitney.

[–]Gavalar 0 points1 point ago

I don't get it...?

*Don't worry, I got it.

[–]tregard 0 points1 point ago

"I'm hugging them in spirit. And now they're hugging me! OHHH MY!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N4vhRiJwFg

[–]judgej2 0 points1 point ago*

I was told that joke in 1990, back when we still had Safeway shops in the UK. I had to stop repeating it when they got bought up by Morissions.

Edit: I was given this joke as a partner to the Safeway joke: what is brown and sticky? A stick.

[–]jayzeee78 0 points1 point ago

Brilliant!

[–]mahacctissoawsum 0 points1 point ago

That took me wayyy too long to get.

I was all like...well..is the joke that there's no F in the word "way"? Maybe it's like that "count the F's" trick....well what happens if we take the F out of safe along with the S? "aeway"...that's not really a word.. Hrmm...

[–]DoctorPimpslap -1 points0 points ago

For your grand repost I allot you 1 downvote.

[–]vanilla_freshness -1 points0 points ago

The letter 'F' does not occur anywhere in the word 'way'

[–]RickPewwy -3 points-2 points ago

Gay

[–]Troller_bob -2 points-1 points ago

IMPROSSIBRU

[–]AmericanoWsugar -1 points0 points ago

I can't breathe,

[–]Joke_Getter -2 points-1 points ago

Even when he wears the ol' Star Trek uniform, I never recognize this guy without the cock in his mouth.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]1d3333 2 points3 points ago

There's no f in way orr how she said it 'there's no effin' way!'

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]mark636199 10 points11 points ago

So how is 8th grade?

[–]deadleg22 1 point2 points ago

Lol I wish I could see the comment instead of the remnants of shame.

Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy. © 2012 reddit inc. All rights reserved.

REDDIT and the ALIEN Logo are registered trademarks of reddit inc.

π Rendered by PID 13372 on app-22 running bd731f1.