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all 88 comments

[–]shoes_of_mackerel 37 points38 points ago

You'd think the Olympic athlete would swim faster.

[–]indiggnantuser 21 points22 points ago

He's a special Olympic athlete.

K. I'm done here.

[–]Chibbox 3 points4 points ago

Watch them run, watch them fall...

[–]MentalProblems 2 points3 points ago

Watch them try to catch a ball

[–]Diffie-Hellman 0 points1 point ago

Olympics..... Special Olympics.

[–]tatanka_truck 1 point2 points ago

[–]trickydicky55 67 points68 points ago

[–]Vanceatot01 11 points12 points ago

Thank you for posting this.

[–]Hellion4s 4 points5 points ago

I have to say that is one of the most relevant comments I have seen posted in a long while. Thanks for that. I hadn't seen it.

[–]FlyingPasta 2 points3 points ago

That was amazing. Where can I watch more of these, preferably with that amazing voice?

[–]trickydicky55 0 points1 point ago

A little late but if you want words that will bring tears to your eyes then I suggest The Sagan Series and/or The Feynman Series.

[–]FlyingPasta 0 points1 point ago

Never too late. Thanks stranger.

Wow, that was amazing, and extremely inspiring. Thanks once again.

[–]Mharbles 4 points5 points ago

That was nice, but it seemed kinda inaccurate. The people that don't "Get to die" don't even matter. If they don't exist then they are not a factor in existence.

Furthermore, while the number of habitable planets may be few and far between then it only leads to reason that we have to adapt to different environments. My beef with futuristic sci-fi is that people are still people. Granted much of that reason is to connect the viewers with characters but the reality is that humans are "blind", vulnerable, and short lived. It may be 1000 years between the stars but when you cannot die then it's hardly an issue.

Though what is worth thinking about is it's probably more unlikely that a planet develops sentient beings than for a planet to develop life. Dinosaurs ruled this planet for millions of years and accomplished nothing. People have been around for a tiny fraction of that time and look what we've done.

That was too many words for a jizz post.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

[–]zukmar 12 points13 points ago

Your dad should have more kids

[–]fuzaco 45 points46 points ago

Just think of all the talented people you kill when you masturbate!

Repost btw.

[–]facingup 24 points25 points ago

Great, now I feel like a terrible person.

I'm gonna have to masturbate to cheer myself up.

[–]laterolus 13 points14 points ago

You murderer....

[–]lamenralus 4 points5 points ago

DM:FA

[–]Aloss 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't Matter: Fucking Amateur (?)

[–]lamenralus 6 points7 points ago

Doesn't matter : forever alone :(

[–]Aloss -2 points-1 points ago

Icri evry tim.

[–]iamemanresu 0 points1 point ago

Doesn't Matter; Fap Away

[–]gcramer3 32 points33 points ago

*Nobel

[–]erratically_sporadic 11 points12 points ago

*middle

[–]RandomMcEric 4 points5 points ago

Well it wasn't going to be the Nobel Prize for Good Spelling

[–]naosia 0 points1 point ago

The sad thing is, I see people spelling it Noble more often than I see people spelling it Nobel.

Although that's just online, everyone spells it right here in Sweden.

[–]hamwater 8 points9 points ago

golly, thanks for the existential crisis

[–]ATTENTION_Reddit 7 points8 points ago

I found this extremely difficult to fap to

[–]Omegastick 7 points8 points ago

Took time and effort, but I managed it. The trick is to pretend they're boobs.

[–]Buscat 6 points7 points ago

People obviously aren't genetically determined to be doctors or movie stars, though from a deterministic standpoint, the genetic differences between the cells might snowball things one way or the other.

The more depressing drawing would be one demonstrating that the decisions you made in life, and those made by those around you, that diverted you from "greatness". But at least you didn't die.

[–]iamemanresu 0 points1 point ago

...yet.

[–]mock4lyfe 7 points8 points ago

Fuck them. You swim faster.

[–]Abstractpants 3 points4 points ago

That Olympic champion was obviously not Michael Phelps.

[–]iamemanresu -1 points0 points ago

No it was, he'd just had a hit off some dank ass weed though.

[–]PandaKid 4 points5 points ago

Maybe the guy who brings peace to the 'Midle East' can work on the 'Middle East' next?

[–]gravinsja 2 points3 points ago

I'm printing this out and giving it to my mom on Mother's Day.

[–]mustfndnewname 2 points3 points ago

[–]dave203 2 points3 points ago

Your Dad must be awesome.

[–]spiral527 10 points11 points ago

Based on the fact that you were born, you were probably most genetically superior.

[–]mmine1 0 points1 point ago

Makes me feel better about my depression, social awkwardness, etc.

[–]HeadBoy 7 points8 points ago

Unless your genetic code has a major defect,

Anything you do or did is the result of the environment you grew up, and live in.

[–]Cubaser 4 points5 points ago

Ah, the old nature vs. nurture debate.

[–]TravelingAce 1 point2 points ago

One sperm away from greatness!

[–]GavinRC 1 point2 points ago

And i was like: "Yeah thank me later."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Discover your hidden potential, perhaps this means that your character could be far greater than any of those wordly icons.

[–]Kay714 1 point2 points ago

Hey, you beat the Olympic athlete, good for you! You were one helluva sperm.

But in all seriousness, being an average Joe can be just as beneficial to humanity as anything. No matter what anyone thinks, one of the best things you can do for humanity is to love others, and be happy.

Make the most of your life. That doesn't mean go out and be a doctor, or pursue a music career, or what have you; Do what makes YOU happy. The more happy people we have in this world the better a place it will be, Oscar winner or not.

I'm perfectly happy fiddling with computer parts and networking nonsense. Helping someone else fix their computer problems is a nice little reward too.

Love others, do what makes you happy, and try to share your happiness with others. Do that and you can accomplish more in your life than you may ever realize.

Edit: Spelling

[–]lawlzorz17 1 point2 points ago

whenever you feel down about yourself remember, you were once the fastest sperm cell

[–]daaaabears 1 point2 points ago

Nice guys finish last, even from the beginning

[–]V1bration 1 point2 points ago

This is a repost. Also, it's "Nobel", not "Noble".

[–]Let_me_tell_you_this 3 points4 points ago

This isn't that funny, just shows you are not well with yourself.

[–]T00LMaker 0 points1 point ago

You are you only after that leading one finishes its journey.

[–]jmowens51 0 points1 point ago

You peaked a little early.

[–]Fixthe-Fernback 0 points1 point ago

Would be cool to meet the dyslexic who wins the nobel prize.

[–]schniggens 0 points1 point ago

And what sort of noble prize would he have won?

[–]Robesc 0 points1 point ago

maybe genetically, our sperm swim faster... I think of myself as a winner for that.

[–]watlington 0 points1 point ago

wouldn't the olympic champion be a faster swimmer?

[–]SirCowMan 0 points1 point ago

Well, look on the bright side, how many of those were the next Osama Bin Ladens, Adolf Hitlers, and Kim-jongs?

[–]UltimateTool 0 points1 point ago

I wish I could win a noble prize. The Nobel one is for pussies.

[–]spibif 0 points1 point ago

the middle in middle east is spelled wrong

[–]jakeyjake247 0 points1 point ago

this shouldnt be in /r/funny as so much as it should be in /r/sad

[–]V170 0 points1 point ago

That noble prize.

[–]evand4567 0 points1 point ago

this has been posted far too many times

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I find it interesting how this comic attributes all personality to the father and none to the mother.

[–]chewy732 0 points1 point ago

I wish it was the Nobel Prize Winner that made it, he at least would have spelled the name of it correctly.

[–]AN1Guitarman 0 points1 point ago

and it's all just a fap.

[–]Whitecalf731 0 points1 point ago

Read it as "Bring peace to Middle Earth"; and it made me happy.

[–]wustl07 0 points1 point ago

False.

Sperm link together to swim faster as a cohesive whole.

[–]FranciscoEverywhere 0 points1 point ago

Nobel*

[–]adaminc 0 points1 point ago

The sperm that created you wasn't the leader of the pack. In fact, the first 95% of sperm died in various ways: malformed sperm that couldn't swim, acidic environment, immune system response, getting lost, going down the wrong Fallopian tube, sacrificing itself to remove the outer layer of the egg.

That the sperm that made you was the one that fertilized the egg was pure chance. You should feel lucky.

[–]B33rNuts 0 points1 point ago

If those other guys were so great they would have been better swimmers.

[–]FTW_shitsfuckedup 0 points1 point ago

you forgot jesus, but so do most christians...

[–]Diffie-Hellman 0 points1 point ago

Guess what. They're all you. The only difference will be whether or not it's an X or Y chromosome.

[–]Lazerus42 0 points1 point ago

It reminds me of the picture where the Sperm in front looks back and tells every... "Hey, Wrong hole, he's getting blown again. Then secretly the sperm saunters over and fertilizes the egg.

*I'm pretty sure that's what I did.

[–]donvito7335 0 points1 point ago

and you beat them all...you are born a winner now go win your nobel peace prize by bringing peace to the middle east through curing cancer and acting in fantastic films Dr. President.

[–]vaendryl 0 points1 point ago

they were all held back by the weight of their potential. also, the first sperm to reach the egg isn't actually the one to fuse with it. the first ones just break down the surrounding barrier.

[–]HlaOad 0 points1 point ago

Wow, that's fucking depressing. Reevaluate.

[–]lual3x 0 points1 point ago

I don't get why doctor is there. Doctors are cool and all... but nowhere near the same league as the other things listed there in terms of difficulty/rarity/impressive-ness/etc.

[–]bigsrg 0 points1 point ago

Noble Prize? What's that?

[–]wintrparkgrl 0 points1 point ago

movie star isnt much to live up to

[–]BionicBeans -1 points0 points ago*

[–]Smellypotato -1 points0 points ago

So your genetically better than all that

[–]wbutler89 -1 points0 points ago

whats a noble prize winner? Is it a contest where everybody gets a trophy?

[–]CommanderVinegar -2 points-1 points ago

APL/KFD'APWFHGADPSO;FLJASOAFIJDSF IT'S NOBEL NOT NOBLE!!!!1ONEONEONEONONE

[–]GT101boy -4 points-3 points ago

This is why I'm against abortion