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1139
1140

If Only We Could Find a Way to Keep it This Size (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by freeaccount

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[–]CtrlShift7 72 points73 points ago

It's the North American House Hippo!
I knew they existed somewhere...

[–]sophieexo 23 points24 points ago

I clicked on the comments specifically for this!

[–]Hoogyme 3 points4 points ago

Same

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

Thank you for linking this. Everyone everywhere needs to see this.

...I believed in this when I was a kid, despite the ending when they tell you it's fake.

[–]knylok 2 points3 points ago

My sister believed this was real until she was, like, 26. I commented that I wanted one, she mentioned I should just buy one. And that's when we had ourselves a little learning experience.

[–]dont_press_ctrl-W 0 points1 point ago

How did she miss the "you knew it couldn't be true, didn't you?" part for all those years?

[–]knylok 0 points1 point ago

She remembered the commercial from her childhood and hadn't seen it in years. Obviously the ending didn't make the memory file.

[–]thalescosta 4 points5 points ago

I wish this was true :(

[–]pseud0nym 1 point2 points ago

I knew this would be here. I have dreamed of a house hippo ever since I saw this as a kid.

[–]shazper 1 point2 points ago

Put the baby hippo in a metal box and feed it brocolis. Everyone knows its how you make a family hippo.

[–]jblue68 0 points1 point ago

Ctrl+F "house"

YES.

[–]triplecow 19 points20 points ago

The Tale of Tiny Hippo

[–]MRogue 3 points4 points ago

ain't no one.

[–]wutho 11 points12 points ago

You could leave a small population on an island for a couple of tens of thousands of years. That oughtta do it.

[–]skarface6 4 points5 points ago

Or could just deny it food. It'll stay that size for the rest of its life- guaranteed.

[–]pangenecist 2 points3 points ago

About to make this comment, was going to say for a few hundred thousand years though.

[–]wutho 0 points1 point ago

I am not good at factualizing science.

[–]RelaxedChap 7 points8 points ago

You can! All you need is a male hippo, a female potbelly pig, a box of wine, your Elton John mix tape (you know the one I'm talking about), and then just leaving them alone and wait for the horrifying sounds of sweet sweet love being made. In about four months you'll be able to enjoy your brand new potbelly hippo.

[–]sarmatron 1 point2 points ago

Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy?

[–]RelaxedChap 3 points4 points ago

"Pig and Elephant DNA Just Won't Splice"? I love that song!

[–]derpoftheirish 4 points5 points ago

Then it could play with teacup giraffe!

[–]ElArcho 8 points9 points ago

THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

[–]nahnope 3 points4 points ago

Puppy sized hippos!

[–]Useless_Advice_Guy 4 points5 points ago

sure beats hippo size puppies...

[–]jmad202 2 points3 points ago

You can stunt the growth, but it is really unethical to do so. My science teacher in high school said that her college courses did that (mind you this was a long time ago) with elephants. They had 3ft elephants. Awesome, yet sad.

[–]Weed_O_Whirler 1 point2 points ago

I can find no information on people doing this via google searches. Doesn't mean it isn't true, but I'm skeptical (not that your teacher told you that, but that your teacher was telling the truth). Do you have anything to cite? This sounds like an urban legend to me.

[–]tootchute 2 points3 points ago

I am inclined to agree with you, that sort of thing should have been all over the news.

[–]jmad202 0 points1 point ago

It could very well be, like I said, going from memory that is 8-10 years old and just a short conversation.

[–]malfunktionv2 0 points1 point ago

How is this done unethically? Malnutrition?

[–]jmad202 2 points3 points ago

No, malnutrition would result in death (or disease). They over-fed it a particular vitamin, or gave it a particular compound. I don't remember exactly, this was 8-10 years ago she told us this. Basically they did it to see if it would actually stunt the growth as predicted, and it did.

[–]malfunktionv2 0 points1 point ago

So were the elephants in any pain or had health issues?

[–]jmad202 3 points4 points ago

I believe they ended up having to be euthanized because of health complications as a result of the stunted growth. What they were, I'm not really sure. As I said, it was a while ago and I remember very little of the brief conversation on it during class.

[–]wheres_the_clitoris 1 point2 points ago

Does this mean that we could potentially have polar bears or lion cubs as pets?

[–]crwcomposer 2 points3 points ago

If you hit it on the head with enough precision, you could probably stunt its growth.

Just try not to do this within range of its mother.

[–]GORILLAFAP 0 points1 point ago

Yeah! Right in the pituitary gland!

[–]gstatty 1 point2 points ago

"We can pickle that!"

[–]RoosterCogburnhad1_I 0 points1 point ago

We can do it, with Science!

[–]gm2 1 point2 points ago

Those must be enormous carrots!

[–]MrSouthernNorthener 1 point2 points ago

You could kill it...

[–]Indestructavincible -1 points0 points ago

It would shrink a bit, unless you threw it formaldehyde right away.

Um, when I spelled formaldehyde I spelled it correct the first time. I was not aware I could do that until I typed this post.

Also, tits are awesome.

[–]vaderprime 0 points1 point ago

He's hungry.

[–]CaptainAdventure 0 points1 point ago

This is remarkably like a conversation me and my sister had once.

[–]tm42 1 point2 points ago

What would you do with veggies that big?

[–]jmmkk 0 points1 point ago

That's basically true of everything except for humans.

[–]Drathanas 0 points1 point ago

Looks like an AT-AT walker

[–]Keynan 1 point2 points ago

If they were that size AND house trained to poop somewhere designed for it then yay. But a little crap machine that actually uses its tail as a propeller to spread it everywhere? me thinks no.

[–]dontpan1c 0 points1 point ago

Lots of coffee?

[–]Rasta_Joe 0 points1 point ago

Make it smoke cigarettes

[–]Coolala2002 0 points1 point ago

Aww, baby Oprahs!

[–]DutchPrisoner 0 points1 point ago

If you kill it and freeze it, it will stay that size forever.

[–]LiveAndLetDiarrhea 0 points1 point ago

You could stop feeding them. They wouldn't grow any bigger but probably wouldn't last very long..

[–]ShamAbram 0 points1 point ago

Too bad that one's dead.

[–]signspam 0 points1 point ago

Just kill it and stuff it...doubt the little fella will get much bigger after that!

[–]idacalledyouwoodyjoe 0 points1 point ago

I imagine it trying to yell in a very soft voice "I CAME TO FUCK, BITCHES!"

[–]IrregardingGrammar 0 points1 point ago

That thing looks disgusting.

[–]shadytradesman 0 points1 point ago

We need a place where the scientists aren't hindered by petty morality.

[–]and_one_more_thing 0 points1 point ago

Stop feeding it

[–]JustUsCats 0 points1 point ago

Stuff it - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/09/harry-pygmy-hippo-dies-surgery_n_1504535.html?ref=animals

[–]funkymac 0 points1 point ago

who's a cute little abominable killing machine?

that's right, it's you.

yes you are.

yes you aaarrrrrreeeee.

[–]Eyrie 0 points1 point ago

Make it hold an everstone.

[–]fbgtmoney 0 points1 point ago

Just use an Everstone

[–]darkops32 0 points1 point ago

I know a way, but it might offend some people. I'll just keep it to myself.

[–]gerbil-ear -1 points0 points ago

lil fella reminds me of jay-z

[–]zcmsu 0 points1 point ago

hippos make good pets

[–]walkatnight 0 points1 point ago

Kill it and stuff it. Solved.

[–]SnookiTawdrey 0 points1 point ago

Is nobody else seeing a purplish Spike from Land Before Time?

[–]ZombieLinux 0 points1 point ago

Personally, I have always wanted an aquarium filled with tiny little manatees. Like fish, but mammalian. And if you could do manatees, why not dolphins?

[–]JoeyBragg 0 points1 point ago

Aaw, he is so hungry...hungry.

[–]Neltech 0 points1 point ago

thats what she said.

[–]Squeekme 0 points1 point ago

For whos benefit?

[–]lizpan 0 points1 point ago

they say if you shave a guinea pig it looks just like a tiny hippo.

[–]CapnKetchup 0 points1 point ago

Ain't nobody fucks with Tiny Hippo.

[–]uselessdegree 0 points1 point ago

It's the hip-hop-opotamus.

(His rhymes are bottomless.)

[–]Wolfgangers 0 points1 point ago

YOU'RE RIGHT. We definitely do need oversized carrots and cabbage, it could well be the cure for world hunger! Go you!

[–]wisewizard 0 points1 point ago

i'll take a tiger the size of a ferret and a panda the size of a rockmelon while you're at it.

[–]pretzelzetzel 0 points1 point ago

Keep what that size? Photoshop? It's quite large as it is...

[–]chazmotic 6 points7 points ago

This pygmy hippo died two days ago. Story.

[–]poopism 2 points3 points ago

Damn

[–]water_chevrotain 0 points1 point ago

Not the same pygmy hippo, the one in OP's photo was born in 2009 original hippo

The pygmy hippo you're talking about was born this year Prince Harry the pygmy hippo

[–]chazmotic 0 points1 point ago

OH, original hippo. OH, original hippo. OH, original hippo.

Actually that picture is of Prince Harry the pygmy hippo.

[–]Saltyduckbutter 0 points1 point ago

someone please photoshop a laser coming out of his mouth

[–]gmnitsua 0 points1 point ago

Videoshop must still just be growing.

[–]morphotik 1 point2 points ago

yes...keep it this size. right.

[–]Enjoiissweet 0 points1 point ago

I'm surprised no one remembers the house hippo commercials.

[–]stkris 0 points1 point ago

Kittens! I would love for my kitten never to grow larger.

[–]Tkwk33 0 points1 point ago

Everstone

[–]thrownaway21 0 points1 point ago

make it smoke cigarettes

[–]pics-or-didnt-happen -1 points0 points ago

Still weighs as much as my motorcycle.

[–]DanielCarlsonSv -2 points-1 points ago

We could kill it ಠ_ಠ

[–]hiiammaddie -5 points-4 points ago

Spy Kids 2 Anyone?

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