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1729
1730

Sometimes the highlight of a film is the closed captioning... (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by HelloWhoIsThere

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[–]JCXtreme 127 points128 points ago

Saw this one yesterday.

Actual words being spoken were 'come, drink with me'.

Movie is 'Troy' for those wondering.

http://i.imgur.com/EI3yH.jpg

[–]ani625 24 points25 points ago

I believe, in fact I am sure, very sure that there's a genre dedicated for that.

[–]DrunkenRedditing 33 points34 points ago

You mean titty-fucking?

That's what you meant, isn't it?

Titty-fucking. Just say it, you greasy cheese-ball, titty-fucking.

With, or without, the hyphens.

Just do it.

[–]modsherearefags 11 points12 points ago

What you drinking today?

[–]Switche 5 points6 points ago

Probably alcohol. My friend drank alcohol once and he sounded just like that.

[–]MagnusTheGreat 0 points1 point ago

He drank it once. That was the point of no return.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

Hmm, would have worked better if you left it at just the first sentence.

[–]kcintlob 13 points14 points ago

Drunk people don't usually go with what works best.

[–]wherestheanykey 6 points7 points ago

How else would they get laid?

[–]DreadNephromancer 2 points3 points ago

Nah.

[–]rcrockchd 2 points3 points ago

Wish there was a subreddit dedicated to that

[–]Dangger 2 points3 points ago

Well we all know that 'come drink with me' is just an euphemism for 'fuck the bossom with me.' I still think they should translate literally though.

[–]bort_sampson 1 point2 points ago

First time I saw "Scream" was a TV edit. But the Closed Captioning was still the original dialogue.

That's when I learned that movie was LOADED with cuss words.

[–]olivermihoff 1 point2 points ago

Can't tell if nose hairs or mustache...

[–]MagnusTheGreat 0 points1 point ago

Nose-stache?

[–]BordomBeThyName 1 point2 points ago

Relevant: Star Wars The Third Gathers: Backstroke of the West

And, the torrent.

[–]MagnusTheGreat 0 points1 point ago

China: where movies only get better.

[–]snakey1337 0 points1 point ago

i almost died laughing

[–]citizenblue 1 point2 points ago

I ror'd

[–]guywithasock 47 points48 points ago

Also wik

[–]uhmerikin 7 points8 points ago

A Møøse once bit my sister...

[–]blackjackjester 24 points25 points ago

Is it sad that I knew immediately from that one frame that it was Crank 2? I do love Crank

[–]SirRosie 27 points28 points ago

That's not sad, dude. His raugh is unforgettable.

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 7 points8 points ago

An upvote for having sat through the sequel! I only watched it because Mike Patton scored it.

[–]pigeonchest 7 points8 points ago

And Maynard James Keenan was in it. And Amy Adams is hot as fuck.

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 4 points5 points ago*

I had a serious WTF?! moment when I saw that in the credits. His bit was pretty damn funny.

Other cameos that surprised me were Lauren Holly, Q (from Star Trek: NG), and Corey Haim....

[–]pigeonchest 1 point2 points ago

And Jenna Haze (pornstar) and Ron Jeremy (male pornstar). Those were funny.

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 1 point2 points ago

Jenna Haze's tits should get their own line in the credits.

[–]decross20 2 points3 points ago

You're thinking of Amy smart. Amy Adams was not in crank 2. Still hot though.

[–]silenc3x 2 points3 points ago

Amy adams seems a bit too innocent for crank.

[–]pigeonchest 0 points1 point ago

yeah, I was very drunk when I posted that. I don't even remember. But thank you for the correction. I'm not even sure who Amy Adams is.

[–]decross20 0 points1 point ago

She was in the Muppet movie, I think.

[–]rell66 1 point2 points ago

I figure just the entire subtitles for Crank 2 were like this...it'd really make sense.

[–]shmacky 65 points66 points ago

Can't agree with you more. This is one I captured a few months ago.

http://imgur.com/aTKhc

[–]Tells_hooker_joke 90 points91 points ago

A man's walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows. It's a hooker. He'd never been with a hooker before. "Twenty bucks," she says. He decides what the heck, it's only twenty bucks. They're going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.

It's a police officer. "What's going on here, people?" asks the officer. "I'm making love to my wife," the man answers indignantly. Oh, I'm sorry," says the cop, "I didn't know." "Well," said the man, "neither did I until you shined that light in her face."

[–]railu 9 points10 points ago

Your user name did not disappoint.

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 14 points15 points ago

This is hilarious. Her facial expression matches the captioning. What was the intended caption?

[–]emocliae 31 points32 points ago

Knowing Japan, that was probably the intended caption.

[–]Dravorek 2 points3 points ago*

looks a bit more like Korean to me, but I might be wrong. I am not Asian so I'm not all that good at keeping them apart.

edit: it appears I was wrong and she's from HongKong. (tanks aloneinlove)

[–]Jjajan 1 point2 points ago

I would be surprised if its korean, she looks really japanese to me

[–]aloneinlove 4 points5 points ago

She looks a lot like a HK actress to me.

[–]emptytissuebox 1 point2 points ago

She is definitely a hong kong actress. Don't remember her name though.

[–]aloneinlove 4 points5 points ago

Found it. Her name is Sandra Ng and she's from HK.

[–]KingToasty 8 points9 points ago

Her last name matches both her face AND the caption!

[–]shmacky 1 point2 points ago

Yes! and thanks to that Wiki link, this was the movie: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_Chicken

[–]aloneinlove 0 points1 point ago

Looks awesome. I'll go rent it next weekend.

[–]Wiki_pedo 0 points1 point ago

My first thought was that it was Aung San Suu Kyi.

[–]battle100 1 point2 points ago

Actually that looks like Sandra Ng, a famous Hong Kong actress.

[–]MagnusTheGreat 0 points1 point ago

Need squidses.

[–]LoveHurts13 -5 points-4 points ago

he needs lubricant --.

[–]FrozenToast 7 points8 points ago

How Did This Get Made did an awesome podcast with the director of Crank 1 and 2 where they talked about all of the subtitle jokes. Definitely worth a listen

[–]pseudolobster 3 points4 points ago

Comment that is not related to any of the previous comments, discussing the move itself.

What is this, ichi the killer?

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 9 points10 points ago

No. Crank 2: High Voltage.

[–]MYDOGSTELLA 6 points7 points ago*

I thought that was oddjob http://i.imgur.com/w53WG.jpg

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 44 points45 points ago

rmao

[–]Damonstration 0 points1 point ago

I suspect they did that on purpose then haha

[–]teenytinytigers 0 points1 point ago

That exprains a rot

[–]Buttered_Penis 34 points35 points ago

You raugh you rose.

[–]Fuuuuuuuun 8 points9 points ago

Ruse* FTFY

[–]macogle[!] 21 points22 points ago

I'm having trouble forcing my brain to read that as anything but the flower.

[–]Humongous_Douchebag 6 points7 points ago

this is the best i could find.

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 3 points4 points ago

I feel retarded that I had read that many times over and not once did that pronunciation occur to me.

[–]Poddster 1 point2 points ago

What pronunciation were you using?

I was using 'raaah'

[–]Shannaniganns 2 points3 points ago

This will help.

[–]crispypancake25 0 points1 point ago

What if I crap, crapping is fine, I will crap very roudly.

[–]Buttered_Penis 1 point2 points ago

RMAO

[–]crazy_lary 4 points5 points ago

i once watched a version of "Walk the Line" where nearly all the h's in the subtitles had been replaced with g's.

Walk tge Line

gorn gonking

Jognny Casg

it was hilarious.

[–]iuy78 3 points4 points ago

Haha thats not how you spell cums.

[–]NormanKnight 4 points5 points ago

I bought a copy of The Seven Samurai off eBay many years ago. (Wish I still had it, loaned it to someone and never got it back.)

When it arrived, it was clear it was some sort of chinese knockoff. They had dubbed it in english---well, chinglish.

The video quality was excellent, but the dubbing was of very uneven quality. Bonus--they didn't hesitate to, as best they could, translate some of the dirty jokes that I didn't remember from other english translations.

But some of the translations, well, let me illustrate:

Near the middle of the movie, after you're all emotionally invested in the villagers, the silent alarm goes off, and all the defenders scramble from their beds through the grey pre-morning light and mist to their stations. Distantly, the sound of bandit horses begins to be hinted at. The camera swoops in on a villager manning the defenses, clutching his bamboo "spear" nervously as he looks out into the mist with combined fear and resolve. The sound of hooves becomes unmistakeable as the camera stops at a close up of his face. He speaks to himself, in a quiet voice filled with dread:

"Came."

[–]flakface 1 point2 points ago

holy CRAP does he have white teeth.

[–]psych0ranger 1 point2 points ago*

crank 2 i think. one of the best movies ever made. no need to see the first one.

bonus crank subtitle antics: In Crank 1, Jason Statham is in an elevator with a chinese guy who is talking in chinese, being all secret about how "Im in an elevator with the target." Statham litterally looks down and reads the subtitles and jumps the guy. classic

[–]CtrlShift7 1 point2 points ago

Crank 1 and 2 were definitely cheesy, but in a fun way. Probably two of my favorite movies to put on, turn off my brain, and enjoy.

My favorite was when he says "does it say 'cunt' on my forehead?"
Ding!

[–]psych0ranger 2 points3 points ago

9 SECONDS LATER

[–]phroztbyt3 1 point2 points ago

"You know what you are Celios? A shit... magnet" 'Raughs'

[–]e4excellence 1 point2 points ago

So close to laughing hysterically.

I'm at work.

You almost got me, brah!

[–]Contron 1 point2 points ago

Pretty sure that's a "subtitle".

[–]Trooper2442 1 point2 points ago

"Your friend....has the gaaay condition."

[–]BoredValet 1 point2 points ago

I raughed

[–]VikingRedbeard 1 point2 points ago

SWEAR-GEN! WU! HANG DAI!

[–]GhostofVincentPrice 1 point2 points ago

I'm totally raughing out loud right now

[–]gambLe6 1 point2 points ago

crank 2?

[–]Lundix 1 point2 points ago

*highright

[–]DeusPrime 1 point2 points ago

"...ROOSES"

[–]TFace_Falone 1 point2 points ago

The subtitles of a Chinese Star Wars bootleg: http://imgur.com/wvX2a

[–]sidslasttheorem[!] 0 points1 point ago

Mynd you, moose bites Kan be pretty nasti...

[I know, technically not CC.. :)]

[–]yall_ready_for_this 0 points1 point ago

I was playing Starcraft 2 single player yesterday with subs on. The part where Tychus gets mad yellsit says [Raaawr!] haha

[–]Mattson 0 points1 point ago

As someone who uses online dating it pisses me off to no end to run into children on those sites.

[–]jjheiselman 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of the Tenchi Moyo series. There is a scene where one of the characters is bring tortured, but she says something along the lines of "it tickles". On the VCD, the subtitles are written to say "I'm coming, I'm coming". For the vocal translation, apparently they didn't think an American audience would appreciate that.

[–]superfueler 0 points1 point ago

Thai's. I have a whole DVD library of gibberish english subtitles. Blame the Thai. Send English teachers fast.

[–]kukkuzejt 0 points1 point ago

ROL!

[–]Spotpuff 0 points1 point ago

I wonder if one day when Mandarin or Hindi become dominant languages if they will laugh at how horrible North American/European accents are.

[–]AliveInTheFuture 0 points1 point ago

I'm lazy as fuck, 1680x1050 wallpaper please.

[–]Esprig11 0 points1 point ago

balls

[–]DrPeacemaker 0 points1 point ago

This entire thread, and no one's mentioned Backstroke of the West?

[–]Saikouro -1 points0 points ago

It was mentioned and discussed, and now you should feel bad.

[–]shitterplug 0 points1 point ago

heh heh heh

[–]Colecoman1982 0 points1 point ago

Please tell me this is a fan-sub or pirate subtitles...

[–]TheWhitCat 0 points1 point ago

So thats who is driving one of the tumblers!

[–]stealthcopter 0 points1 point ago

looks more like [cwying] to me

[–]Chibzbear 0 points1 point ago

There's been quite a few transtlation errors in Norwegian subtitles.

Some of my favourites:

"A man with homicidal tendencies." -> "En mann med homoseksuelle tendenser." -> "A man with homosexual tendencies."

"You smell of booze and fags." -> Fags got translated to "homser" (slang for homosexuals)

"Make-up sex" was taken to mean ACTUAL make-up. (The one you wear)

"Fucking shit!" -> "Faens laken!" -> "Fucking sheet!"

"Freeze, motherfuckers!" -> "stå stille, gutar!" -> "Stand still, boys!"

"You just wanna grab her and fuck her." -> "Du vil berre ta ho til deg og vere god mot henne." -> You just want to grab her and be good to her."

Lightsaber was translated as "lettsabel" (Light was interpreted as the weight, not the lasers)

And last but not least: "Do you want some coke?" -> "Vil du ha litt cola?" -> "Do you want some (coka) cola?"

[–]vegan_n_proud 0 points1 point ago

These are some crazy O faces. I am always worried mine look like one of these.

[–]dafunk60 0 points1 point ago

If you enjoy humorous closed captioning I recommend Pootie Tang

[–]snitchandhomez 0 points1 point ago

When the pilot of "Two Broke Girls" aired on TV here, whoever had done the captioning had added in a bit of opinionated commentary. I recall there being a "Worst. Line. Ever" and "...because that joke hasn't ever been done before(!)". Bless you, caption guy, you made a reallly shitty show highly amusing.

[–]FreedObject -1 points0 points ago

[ROR!]

[–]yourafagyourafag -1 points0 points ago

IMPOSSIBRUU!!

[–]sulkee 0 points1 point ago

I have lots of fun editing subtitles too.

[–]zeug666 1 point2 points ago

For those not familiar, subtitle files are just text files and easy to edit. Like a large portion of Facebook, wrong number, iPhone chat, Google search, and Cleverbot conversation posts, they are very easily manipulated/generated. To some people, that issue is enough to remove whatever "funny" my be included with a post, to others, ignorance is bliss.

[–]Shadowglove 0 points1 point ago

Rafs?

[–]HelloWhoIsThere[S] 0 points1 point ago

Raphs?

[–]hotsavoryaujus 0 points1 point ago

It looks like Sammo Hung.

[–]CantGetRidOfABomb -1 points0 points ago

Upvote for Sammo.

[–]LabJacket -2 points-1 points ago

I raughed out roud.

[–]bkow -1 points0 points ago

I laughed so hard I pissed myself.

[–]Cawksmoker 12 points13 points ago

No you didn't.

[–]bkow 1 point2 points ago

I did, I have proof

[–]HighVoltage73 1 point2 points ago

Pics or it didn't happen.

[–]JRWolf -1 points0 points ago

Ahh, me old 4channin' days.

http://imgur.com/ANAxb

[–]patty_potato -1 points0 points ago

ROR! That was so funny I raughed my ass off

[–]Flubb -1 points0 points ago

Well, the L and the R are next to each other on a Dvorak keyboard...

[–]ayyrabmoney93 -1 points0 points ago

its time to play IS IT RACIST!! the asian sensation thats sweeping the nation

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