We're at war with the ants, and I play dirty.

Marimba_Ani · 4 months

You know that all of the worker ants are desexualized females, right?

Cheers!

ryan2point0 · 4 months

Is that how you get ants Barry? Yes it is other Barry. Yes it is.

heyzuess · 4 months

if you leave corn meal by their hole, they'll take it but they can't digest it and they'll die. Non-toxic way to help.

WhatIfItWereTrue · 4 months

BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice, BeetleJuice.

s4r9am · 4 months

You charlatan! Those ants trusted you.

muhnooer · 4 months

Feed them Boric acid mixed with sugar. They will fucking DIE.

allcentury · 4 months

If your ant army is anything like the army base near my house your strip club will be making bank, real soon!

bassboat1 · 4 months

Objective sighted!

overloadedmonsters · 4 months

What is this, A strip bar for ANTS?!

TheMadMule · 4 months

Anything that mentions "ants" and "war" in the same sentence makes my mind think of SimAnt.

draumo · 4 months

Great. Now I have to go watch Beetlejuice.

PrometheusANJ · 4 months

A more humane (humant?) way of dealing with them is to destroy the food-this-way smell tracks that they create indoors, and create a stronger one outdoors near their nest by putting some small sweet thing there. It takes a few hours for them to redirect though.

I used to kill ants in droves as a kid... but now when I sit at the computer and a random ant crawls onto my hand, I study it and get that fuzzy feeling of physical closeness to another living being. The scale and function of the creature is amazing. Taking little breaks, cleaning its limbs, continuing on foraging, laying down pathfinding tracks, checking my fingernails, trying to stretch its body over huge ravines created by the gaps between my fingers...

deeptime · 4 months

This is what you want, my friend. Warning: toxic.

http://www.terro.com/products.php?product=liquid_ant_bait

Eudaimonics · 4 months

Protip: Line your cupboards/shelves with fabric softener sheets. The chemicals in them messes with the ants' ability to communicate with each other and sense of direction, and they're safe for humans...unless you eat them or something.

guynoceros · 4 months

I can tell by the pixels.

emkey23 · 4 months

am i the only one bothered by the shitty photoshopped reflection on the floor or..

BMR117 · 4 months

Immediately thought of the movie "From Dusk 'Til Dawn"

RyanTakahashi · 4 months

What is this? A lesbian bar for ants?! How can they be expected to make ou- wait a minute.....

aracthedragon · 4 months

I have ants as well. And I, for one, welcome my new insect overlords.

patrick_anthony · 4 months

You mean LIVE NUDE MALE ANTS.

jumpstarter · 4 months

Very Nice. repost during American daylight hours for frontpage!

ohyeahepic · 4 months

It reminds me of this scene in a bugs life

infiniteray · 4 months

They're all females...

DUELETHERNETbro · 4 months

LIVE NUDE GIRL HUMANS

chrisc098 · 4 months

Ha, cute little distraction, but better then those bastard deserve. They'd swarm your family and eat the ham off the christmas table if they got half a chance.

They're ruthless, they will never give in, and they seem unending. But damnit you better believe me, they will run out of soldiers before we're done vacuuming up the first wave. To fight such a ruthless enemy you must adopt ruthless tactics.

I carry out full fledged chemical warfare on every front against those tiny bastards. I poison them and they carry them back to their families, because we fight a true enemy boys, don't you forget it. Any man here who disapproves of my methods can leave now, we don't need yellows here, we're fighting a war not, and don't you forget it.

starboxed · 4 months

"Ant. Boot."

boarhog · 4 months

Find out where the ants come from and put a line of salt around the entrance. Ant won't cross the salt.

BaconZombie · 4 months

First think I thought of:

http://i.imgur.com/M1wof.gif

kevindrosario · 4 months

This reminds me of Men in Black 2 with the nude show for those antlike beings inside the locker.

wowtenk · 4 months

first thing that came to mind when seeing that was beetlejuice

gearsolid · 4 months

wow wtf this is retarded

FloozinMcboozin · 4 months

I'm using this idea in my kitchen now, thanks! However, I intend to set up two of them, so that the ants can say "Oh, let's not go to that one, let's go to the good one."

psych0ranger · 4 months

THORAXLESS, THORAXLESS, THORAXLESS!!!

AProudBlackWoman · 4 months

...but ants are already naked.

pics-or-didnt-happen · 4 months

I too am at war with several species of ants. They fight me and fight one another. They only ally themselves against the house centipedes.

Perhaps we could exchange battle strategies. This is my secret weapon. They love it.

The problem is that I have birds who roam free in the apartment so I cannot put out any open poison traps in areas where they are active. I use plastic juice/water bottles full of the stuff in corners where the birds don't fit.

There's still the concern that they may eat a poisoned ant, but I haven't seen them eat a bug yet.

diggerB · 4 months

The tablet! The tablet! The tablet!

PascalsLawl · 4 months

lesbos

LeftBehind83 · 4 months

All ants are female.

But nevermind.

Howdy_McGee · 4 months

Not sure to downvote for pun... or upvote for being creative.

prairiewest · 4 months

That won't work: the ants will stay for the nudes, and forget all about taking the poison back to the colony!!

noitscalleddjent · 4 months

wanna see my thorax?

TheGreatandMightyMe · 4 months

Holy cow! If your ants are wearing clothes, you have a big problem.

abom420 · 4 months

A simple drop of queen pheromones would've done the trick.

KonaClump · 4 months

Thats false advertising.

OneWhoHenpecksGiants · 4 months

May I suggest Amdro?

I_RAPE_ANTS · 4 months

Where is this?

HotrodCorvair · 4 months

Reminds me of harvey the mouse must die! Old school lulz, this guy was king of the internets way back. Wonder if Reddit remembers him.

Raleighirishman · 4 months

Makes me think of Beetlejuice.

lise27 · 4 months

HA HA HA!!! Djenghis Khan would take his hat off to you. XD

RiggsRector · 4 months

Fak me, I'm having ant problems too currently. These little tiny things, 'sugar ants' as I've heard them referred. If I leave even the tiniest speck of food in my room there's a billion of them by morning. Luckily I'm moving this weekend.

Epolo2012 · 4 months

I think the main point that has been overlooked is what kind of ants are the interlopers. Once you identify that, you can ready an army of ants that will oppose them with efficiency. It really is that simple.

[deleted] · 4 months

Nice try but it wouldn't work for these ants!

elruary · 4 months

This is called deceiving warfare.

gredreen · 4 months

People actually do this for pest management in crops. Humans are quite cunning...

xTheOOBx · 4 months

I just spray water mixed with a little dishsoap where they gather. Kills any who go through but not my pets, and is easy to clean up.

Parabrella · 4 months

Found a steam of ants marching through my kitchen last night. The little bastards are ignoring the poison I put out. This can go on my "desperate measures" list.

surells · 4 months

This is a war you cannot win

MaliciousH · 4 months

Ah, a brother-in-arms! It seems like your war with the foul insects is going poorly that you must keep slaves and whore them out.

I suggest you to ziplock and container everything to starve them out into reaching for the sweet, yet deadly treat. Its the least we can do for the doomed enemies. It makes their end that much sweeter.

alysaface · 4 months

Every year I completely forget how much I don't particularly care for this time of year. My house is always bug free until April and May. =\

In June we get the June bugs everywhere, but those don't get in the house very often. You just have to dodge them while you run inside.

I miss the winter already.

cant_be_pun_seen · 4 months

Playing dirty is what got you in this position in the first place.... totally worth it

conrick · 4 months

Does the neon sign blink?

G3m1nu5 · 4 months

I battled the front lines against ants... here's my best solution:

Buy a jar of honey and a bottle of Boric acid (white powder). Mix in a bowl 9 parts honey to 1 part Boric acid powder. Cover the bowl with plastic wrap and with a fork, punch holes in the plastic wrap. The ants will take the honey / boric acid mix back to the nest and accidentally kill the queen. The nest will be gone in about two weeks. Do NOT use this solution if you have pets!

circleofconfusion · 4 months

The Ants Vs. Larry Flint

cakey138 · 4 months

Worked for beetle juice.

061342 · 4 months

Have you tried feeding them oatmeal?

kodywiddak · 4 months

IT'S A TRAP!!

CloudCircus · 4 months

I think I saw something like this in Beetlejuice

ghengisjohn16 · 4 months

My dad used to always take me out to fight the war on ants. We had just dozens of nests in our back yard every summer, nasty fire ants too. He would always say fight fire with fire and we'd go out with his propane torch and a can of gasoline and burn the fuckers. I love my dad

chechenk · 4 months

upvote for relevance to my situation. i'll try that later.

[deleted] · 4 months

No such thing as playing dirty when it comes to love......and war!

wakko_warner · 4 months

Reminded me of this.

lizardking99 · 4 months

There's only one way to win a war like this. You must learn the language of the ants and mate with their women. In time, your differences will be forgotten

RYG420 · 4 months

Hahahahah!

ssercomic · 4 months

Is... is that a Joe's Apartment reference?

aapiane · 4 months

I tried something like this once... I put a trail of sugar leading into a cup of a bleach-sugar mixture.

Bad idea. The mixture started to get hot and release something like chlorine gas.

Bart_Dart · 4 months

They deserve all of it. Too many picnics ruined by cartoonish thievery!

alexs · 4 months

My solution to ants is to just put a big dish of sugar water/jam/caramel down somewhere hidden and near the ants entrance to my house and let them get on with it. They tend to not bother trapsing everywhere then.

[deleted] · 4 months

Ahh god...

BananaPancakeOfTruth · 4 months

But ants cannot read..

shrimjob · 4 months

On top of being desexualized, they're always naked.

MolechDestroyer · 4 months

My Struggle is with large carpenter ants. I have been working very hard behind the scenes at my house to come up with a Final Solution to the "Ant Problem."

There is no limit on the amount of force or cohersion we are willing to use in order to rid our home and land of these dirty, filthy creatures. They are too many, to invasive and must be rid of at any cost.

I fully embrace my embrace my role as Fuhr-migator. Zeig Raid! Zeig Raid!

panzerkampfwagen · 4 months

So you think most ants are lesbians?

bleepsystems · 4 months

Do you know the best way to get rid of ants. Leave polenta out for them. They then take all polenta away with them and they die. Not sure of the scientific reason but it works deffo works on Australian ants.

meancommentredditor · 4 months

Ants have rights! You bunch of cave people discriminating against ants and their religious beliefs. But really, whats up with the lesbain bar?

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