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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]Unidan 1547 points1548 points ago*

Ecologist here!

This is a really interesting photo, you can very clearly see the xylem (water conduit) system in the banana. The phloem, which transports the "food" of the plant, is visible as darker bands around the xylem tissue which is lighter. I'm not a plant ecologist, though, so if I'm incorrect, let me know! In the actual banana fruit, the phloem is seen as the little stringy bits when you take off the peel!

I believe this is a healthy plant, as many of the bananas that die (at least in tropical plantations) are infected with Fusarium fungi, which will darken the xylem and other vascular tissue of the plant, causing wilt from accumulation.

Also, from first-hand experience, chopping down banana "trees" (actually a giant monocotyledon pseudostems, an herbaceous plant) is incredible satisfying. Also, also, bananas are technically a berry!

FUN BONUS FACT: I spent some time in Costa Rica, replanting native hardwood trees in a former banana plantation. I cut down a banana tree with my machete and found a Terciopelo (WARNING: NSFL PICTURE OF SNAKE BITE) or fer-de-lance underneath it! I nearly shit my pants and was forced to, unfortunately, kill the snake to avoid getting bitten. The nearest hospital is several hours away and Costa Rica's main highway has been under construction for about fifty years. Half of it is still dirt. A bunch of Ticos laughed at me. Pura vida.

BOTANICAL THEORY: Some recent papers have suggested that the brown spots on bananas actually fluoresce under UV light, suggesting that insects that may pollinate or use the fruit that can see into the ultraviolet may use the brown spots as cues to ripeness, as in their visible spectrum, the spots would stand out as incredible beacons of light.

DOUBLE BONUS SNAKE PHOTO: Here's a photo of a ten-foot boa constrictor I found on a hike in Costa Rica. I love snakes, but I high-tailed it the fuck out of there.

[–]uberguby 660 points661 points ago

Your excitement to dispense information is very satisfying to me. You are tagged.

[–]Unidan 187 points188 points ago

I keep editing stuff in, I'm sorry. Hold on, I'm going to add a link to the snake to show how completely terrifying it is.

It's actually described as the "ultimate pit-viper."

[–]stockbroker 118 points119 points ago

This is why I love Reddit. Thank you for this - it's always good to see people who are truly passionate about what they do.

[–]Unidan 118 points119 points ago

No problem! Also, talking about stuff like this allows me to slack off on grading while still pretending I'm doing biological work.

[–]highinfats 52 points53 points ago

Do you get wood just by looking at trees?

[–]Unidan 92 points93 points ago

Bananas will sometimes put up little bananas that are called 'root suckers.'

tee hee hee

[–]highinfats 22 points23 points ago

Oh stop it! You are making me blush!

Tee hee hee

[–]imlost19 28 points29 points ago

tagged as "Banana Man"

[–]waterslidelobbyist 19 points20 points ago

For some reason I already have him tagged as Pineapple Expert, I'm sure that thread was just as good.

[–]Unidan 12 points13 points ago

It was.

[–]URINE-MY-FACE 2 points3 points ago

[–]Atomarc 26 points27 points ago

As someone planning a trip to Costa Rica in August, I can say that you now have me completely terrified of snakes.

[–]Unidan 107 points108 points ago

If you're not terrified of snakes, you should be.

Legitimately though, shake out your boots, shake out your pants, shake out everything before you put it on. Costa Rica is filled with scorpions, spiders, ants, snakes, the whole shebang.

TRUST NOTHING

Also, if you get something wet, put it in the sun. If you don't, it will rot in a matter of days from fungus, guaranteed. Bring ziplock baggies to keep stuff dry.

This isn't a suggestion, it's an order. You'll thank me later when your cell phone, your wallet, your money and your passport aren't particles of soil covered in insects.

[–]elcarath 15 points16 points ago

Out of curiosity, why is it that stuff rots so readily in the tropics? I've read accounts of people in the Philippines, as well as explorers in South America, telling how basically their clothes were rotting right off their back, and as somebody who lives in a temperate zone, this is completely astonishing to me. Is it simply because the combination of heat and high, steady humidity is conducive to fungi, or are there actually more aggressive species of fungi down there?

[–]Unidan 49 points50 points ago

It's the abiotic conditions, which provide incredible conditions for fungi.

During the wet season caused by the Intertropical Convergence Zone shifting slightly on the Earth, there is pretty much a huge storm every day. Check the weather report for San Jose, Costa Rica. I will guarantee something along the lines of "Scattered Thunder Storms: 82 degrees." All week.

Fungi is very sensitive to dessication, which is just a rarity in the tropics, so when you're not in the sun, you're picking up fungi which can thrive easily.

Competition is a bit heavier in the tropics, too, so yes, I would actually say that species down there may be a bit more aggressive. Aggressive in the terms of nutrient acquisition, at least.

One of the things that surprises people is that when you go to the tropics, there isn't really much on the ground. If you're in a northern forest, you'll see lots of leaf litter, dead twigs, etc., but in a tropical forest, you typically don't. Nutrients are recirculated very quickly and the soil is extremely nutrient poor, which surprises people, as the tropics are seen as a lush environment, so you'd assume high nutrients!

For the fungi species, I can't think of any off-hand, as there are probably thousands of big players. I do know that I had a pair of jungle boots that rotted to the core in three days due to my own stupidity of not drying them out.

[–]elcarath 5 points6 points ago

I was always taught that rainforest soil is particularly fertile, although the nutrients in it are only there because there's a rainforest there. Is that true, or is rainforest soil as poor as elsewhere in the tropics?

[–]Unidan 24 points25 points ago

Rainforest soils are incredibly nutrient poor, all the nutrients are contained in the first couple of centimeters.

If you look at the roots for plants, they reflect this. Almost all the biomass is in the surface, very little emphasis on taproots, or deep roots like you'd see in a temperate forest.

This is because of nutrient leaching. Water being repeatedly poured on the soil pulls all the nutrients down until they are no longer accessible. Additionally, the humid climate and water cause chemical reactivity rates to increase tremendously, so the soil is very weathered. It's almost entirely clay. The clays are bright red due to aluminum oxides in the soil.

These soils are classified as 'oxisols.' They are pretty much homogenous (the same) for sometimes up to forty meters deep. This is very different compared to other soil types where you get layers. The soils are incredibly old, too. You may ask, where, then, do we get replenishing nutrients like phosphorous, if the rock types are so old and weathered? Aren't they used up?

Efficiency and recycling are one answer, but the other is the wind. Eolian nutrient deposition. Wind carrying dust from the Sahara desert actually carries a good amount of nutrients to the tropical rainforests in many cases. I think that is incredible.

Then again, not all tropical soils are poor, which may be what you learned about. There are small percentages of forest that are located on floodplains or volcanic areas that receive new nutrients from time to time.

[–]Atomarc 35 points36 points ago

My initial reaction to your reply.

Honestly though, I appreciate the advice. I don't think we'll be quite as backwoods as what you are describing, but I'd rather know more and be over-prepared than not know about this kind of stuff.

Thanks!

[–]Unidan 76 points77 points ago*

No problem. All in all though, you're going to have a great time. I loved it there and would absolutely love to go back to do more research.

Even if you go to a resort area, be aware.

A few of the beaches have Capuchin monkeys there. Do not be fooled. Everyone comes and is like, 'Oh, what cute little monkeys! They're our best friends, I've seen lots of movies with these guys!'

THEY ARE NOT.

Don't leave food out, do not tease them. They have teeth, huge slicing incisors. They will steal anything you leave for more than a second and be up a tree and out of your reach immediately. They also will not hesitate to do their favorite party trick of climbing above you and taking a piss onto your face.

God, I hate those cute little fucks.

[–]Atomarc 12 points13 points ago

Thanks for the info!

And I'm sure we will steer clear of any and all monkeys... my wife is terrified of them :)

[–]agentmuu 2 points3 points ago

See, if animals like these were even the slightest bit more gregarious, conservation efforts would go way smoother.

Stupid, stupid cute animals.

[–]Prof_LaGuerre 2 points3 points ago

As someone who has spent time in CR this is legit advice. Ziplocks for everything... Everything.

[–]deeplywombat 52 points53 points ago

I already had you tagged as "Biologist and Pineapple Expert." I guess it's time to add to that.

[–]Unidan 114 points115 points ago

Soon, my RES tags will encircle the Earth.

The shadow they cast will blot out the sun and finally rid me of these wretched plant specialties.

Then I will be free.

[–]stinkytaco 47 points48 points ago

Well... that got dark quickly.

I hope nobody posts a picture of mango.

[–]AreYouFuckingSerious 25 points26 points ago

Not often do you witness someone trying to conquer a planet by being helpful, pleasant and abundantly knowledgeable about plants. Diabolical.

I for one welcome our new scientist overlord.

[–]spongerat 11 points12 points ago

wwhat are these tags you humans keep referring to?

[–]maniacaldentist 9 points10 points ago

For me you're already PhD Pineapple. Yes I can remember why, I'm not trying to karma whore!

[–]Unidan 10 points11 points ago

Finally, someone without short-term memory loss.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Unidan 145 points146 points ago

  • xylem: the water conducting tissue in a plant.

  • conduit: pathway

  • phloem: nutrient conducting tissue in a plant.

  • Fusarium: a genus (a group consisting of multiple species) of fungi.

  • Fungi: one of the major kingdoms of organisms, the most familiar of which would be the general "mushroom."

  • vascular: meaning having vessels, or enclosed systems. Analogous to a circulatory system.

  • monocotyledon: Meaning its seeds have a single "seed leaf" in its early stages of growth.

  • Pseudostems: Not a real stem. In bananas, this is composed of leaf bases which have been rolled together.

  • Terciopelo: a common name for the viper Bothrops asper. Terciopelo means 'velvet' in spanish.

  • fer-de-lance: common name in North America for the viper Bothrops asper. French for 'iron of the lance.'

  • Ticos: slang for native Costa Rican.

  • Pura vida: the slogan of Costa Rica, which means "Pure life!"

  • fluoresce: to shine or emit light.

[–]mortarnpistol 19 points20 points ago

Your enthusiasm for teaching others makes me happy. Question, do you worry about banana crops having a catastrophic failure due to the fact that we only grow basically one type of plant? (correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember reading something like that a while ago)

[–]Unidan 45 points46 points ago

Of course.

Variation is the foundation for evolution, not always novel mutation, as many people think. Without variation, we have no capacity to quickly adapt or evolve. When pests come into an area that is a monoculture, there is very little capability to recover or adapt and we end up in an agricultural battle.

People are very worried over their crop yields, as we try to impose the agribusiness standardization to everything. I, personally, think this is a flawed strategy.

Historically, we knew we could not always harvest every single plant. A small portion of plants would be lost to herbivores, parasites, fungi, etc., but certain individuals would persist in the population. Once we learned that, we accelerated the process, but forgot how we got there.

Now we plant one genotype of a crop, and expect it to be the crop forever. If we used integrated pest management, where we can lower our pesticide use and up our natural barricades, like through biocontrol using natural predators of pests in the area, or deterrents, we may have better long term strategy.

Sure, we'd have potentially lower yields because we would lose some to our pest, but we wouldn't be putting incredible pressure on the pests to evolve resistance, as we are currently doing through mass application of insecticide or herbicide.

The tighter you squeeze your fist, the faster and more individuals slip through your fingers.

[–]thegreatestjose 2 points3 points ago

I see the farmers in our town and lose hope. You make agriculture sound like a potentially exciting adventure. Take my humble compliment please: You are amazing! NDT was thinking of you when he said humans are made of stars.

[–]Unidan 8 points9 points ago

Aww, that was adorable. Thank you.

A lot of people are beginning to wise up, it's just at a different scale. I've worked on a few mini community gardens, which I think are the way to get people excited. When you grow something yourself, it's really something else. You have to be proud of what you do. Right now, I think people see 'farmer' as a lower-class job.

I know many PhDs who know their way around a farm, and I think that's the right direction.

Our local greenhouse keeper is incredible at biocontrol. We have parasitoid wasps keeping things under control, ladybugs, predatory spiders, all kinds of stuff. If anything, it adds to the beauty of the greenhouse.

[–]jones3316 20 points21 points ago

Damn you know as much about bananas as you do about pineapples.

[–]tiburocin 13 points14 points ago

Oh man. I was taking a quick sunrise hike at the Cabo Blanco Absolute Reserve in CR a few years ago, and almost stepped on a boa that was probably 1.5m long. It was just sprawled out across the entire path, and I was about 2 inches from stepping on it before I saw it.

[–]Unidan 65 points66 points ago

The biota in Costa Rica generally just tells you to "deal with it."

I slipped in some of the mud (SOIL CHEMISTRY: Tropical soils are leached of most nutrients from the heavy rainfall and generally contain hydroxide clays. They appear red colored from the aluminum that is oxidized in them.) there and grabbed out for some support. I ended up grabbing a tree with three inch long spines covering it, that is symbiotically paired with both a bacteria to ensure infection and ants to protect it.

My hand was covered in ants in about two seconds as I tried to pull the spines of the plant slowly through my palm. Then I doused myself in rubbing alcohol. That was a fun day.

[–]tiburocin 13 points14 points ago

OH man. Those fucking spiny palms are terrible. One of the first things they told us was "if you fall, don't reach out to grab something to catch yourself. Just fall." 'Cause you might grab some spines!

(Purrrrrra vida.)

[–]Unidan 38 points39 points ago

Yup.

I learned to stop trying to survive around week two. Just let the gentle current of ants sweep you to safety.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Unidan 4 points5 points ago

There was a week when an ant colony came through where we were staying. We asked locals what to do, and they basically told us to "deal with it" or move out for a while until they passed through.

They were in our food, in our drinks, in our beds: everywhere. Just clumsily making their way through the jungle.

On the plus side, they cleaned out every other insect pest that was in our area. Took care of our scorpion problem in no time.

Unfortunately was forced to drink a lot of ants, though.

[–]Edibleface 5 points6 points ago

One day I hope I find something that I could bE as genuinely enthusiastic about as you seem to be here.

[–]somecircadian 3 points4 points ago

Did you escape infection? More stories please!

[–]Unidan 33 points34 points ago

Yup, I was fine.

The biggest fear I had was actually when I was handling poison dart frogs (This is a blue jeans poison dart frog here (Oophaga pumilio) pictured next to a colleague for scale). We were handling a few of them and I knew I would have to wash my hands thoroughly after doing so, avoiding touching my eyes or mouth.

Unfortunately, the next day, I got seriously sick. I was shitting geysers. Nauseous as hell. Really, really awful. I was freaking out, thinking, of course, that I had only a few days to live from touching the frogs.

Luckily, it was just a little bit of Montezuma's revenge, and all was well.

BONUS PIC: Dendrobates auratus!

[–]Glenn_Tennis 8 points9 points ago

Hey you need to please do an AMA on here. you have too many awesome stories and are way too good at telling them not to. just an idea

[–]Unidan 16 points17 points ago

Haha, every time I talk about science on here, someone asks if I can do one, but I'm afraid of having no one give a shit when I actually make the post!

I try to answer all the questions in here, though! One day I'll be brave.

[–]Spncrgmn 2 points3 points ago

You are surrounded by people who have you tagged as "Pineapple PhD," "Banana Man," "Excited Ecologist," "Fruit Dundee," and all manner of names that denote your status. Hell, if there are only 20 of us who have you tagged, you can bet that we'll ask you enough questions to fill any AMA.

[–]Unidan 4 points5 points ago

I legitimately laughed at 'Fruit Dundee.'

Namely because I imagined a mango in a hat.

[–]danielisthebear 2 points3 points ago

How did you find work in Costa Rica? It sounds like something I'd be interested in.

[–]Unidan 8 points9 points ago

I took an internship at a long-term biological research station there that has been operating for about twenty years +.

Their group provides carbon credit for replanting native forests in former ranch or plantation land, which the government then will pay you to maintain through our management.

Basically, a lot of ranchers in Costa Rica failed due to ridiculously high erosion rates and the fact that the environment simply is not suited for high intensity cattle raising. Once the land was trashed, ranchers realized that by letting it go back to native species was profitable and biologists like us are more than happy to provide the service while also guaranteeing tropical ecosystem stability.

Very win-win.

Costa Rica plans to go carbon neutral by 2020, and is very likely to do so. They have very good regulation on gasoline, from what I remember, with profits and taxes from gas going to directly reforest the country in some cases.

[–]orthag 14 points15 points ago

I will give you 300 dollars to change your name to Liet-Kynes and live with the Bedouins for a year.

[–]Unidan 16 points17 points ago

I accept these terms.

[–]orthag 4 points5 points ago

.......I'll give you 3 dollars and a bratwurst to fix my roof.

[–]roboeyes 63 points64 points ago

Who else didn't read anything and just scrolled to find the NSFL snake bite picture?

[–]fepfive 22 points23 points ago

yes, and i regretted it very much

[–]gb003k 2 points3 points ago

I read after I looked at the picture

[–]Gourmay 2 points3 points ago

My jaw actually dropped at that snake bite...

[–]Unidan 5 points6 points ago

The scary thing is that was with treatment.

You can actually see the calf separating from the bone.

[–]hailbut 5 points6 points ago

I had no idea it was a berry- I've been druped!

[–]Unidan 2 points3 points ago

I seed what you did there.

[–]Tangled2 19 points20 points ago

A++++ comment, lots of info and pictures of snakes, would upvote again.

[–]lurker6412 4 points5 points ago

Im learning about plant vascular systems in my biology class, and it feels great to understand what you're alking about!

[–]thrik 3 points4 points ago

Unidan, could you please throw in a few "crikey"s here and there - for my childhood's sake. Thanks

[–]psil-cosyin 3 points4 points ago

I was 3 feet away from a coral snake in Costa Rica last December. The only company that makes coral snake anti-venom has discontinued the product due to insufficient demand, and the world's stockpile of anti-venom ran out in 2010, which means getting bitten by one is basically a death sentence. Except! Coral snakes don't always deliver their venom when they bite. Venom is an expensive investment and a coral snake that uses its venom on a threat won't be eating for 3 days while it makes more. So they conserve it.

Also, you are awesome and you made my morning with your unabashed geekery.

[–]Unidan 3 points4 points ago

I've heard the only way to really get bitten by one is to pretty much stick your finger down its throat.

In the same way, even garter snakes have a mild venom, used as a neurotoxin!

[–]Ethnobotanist 2 points3 points ago

Plant-loving high-five

[–]Unidan 4 points5 points ago

Ethnobotany continually blows my mind.

High five right back to you.

[–]question_all_the_thi 2 points3 points ago

You did the right thing, Bothrops bites aren't something you want to get when you are far from a medical center. I knew a man who lost a leg to a jararaca bite.

[–]Unidan 3 points4 points ago

Wow, fuck that. That sucks, and makes me feel a little better about what I did. I did feel bad though, I hate to kill any creature that doesn't deserve it.

That said, my killing wasn't in any way bad ass. Another guy whacked a snake in one fell swoop, took the head clean off with a nice 'ping.'

Mine was like cutting a two foot sausage up with a three foot butter knife. While also trying not to drop a load in my pants. Maybe crying a little.

A lot.

[–]TheSumOfAllSteers 2 points3 points ago

Biology student here!

I can confirm everything that he just said!

[–]Unidan 5 points6 points ago

GET BACK TO WORK

Yours Truly,

Your Slacking Instructors.

[–]StellaMaroo[S] 179 points180 points ago

Source.

More pictures: 1, 2 and 3.

[–]sirtimid 56 points57 points ago

Tree looks pretty healthy. Any reason why they cut down a perfectly good banana tree?

[–]mudsak 393 points394 points ago*

@sirtmid ... Once the banana tree has produced fruit it will no longer yield fruit. Some species of banana tree can be cut about midway down the stalk, they will simply sprout leaves again, and they can produce fruit a few more times. Other species simply need to be cut down after the fruit has been picked. Banana trees also sprout "baby" banana trees at their base about halfway through their lifecycle. They multiply rather quickly.

Source: I have banana, and plantain trees all over my property.

EDIT:grammar

EDIT2: added a little info.

[–]rdiss 49 points50 points ago

We used to have a banana tree and what you say is correct. They start to sprout baby trees all around. You've got to have them cut out if you don't want them to start taking over. Also, you've got to be very careful when trimming the leaves, because there is tons of sap and it's very very sticky. Get it on your shirt and it leaves a permanent stain.

And as everyone else has pointed out, they're not really trees. But that's what everyone calls them.

[–]iwantahouse 22 points23 points ago

Banana plant stains are the worst. I ruined a lot of clothes when I was a kid with banana plants.

[–]Zyvexal 25 points26 points ago

bamboo is the same way, never plant bamboo in your backyard if you're unwilling to pay REALLY close attention to it, it'll spread like wildfire, and before you know it, there'll be bamboo shoots cracking and growing out your driveway.

[–]richard_photograph 36 points37 points ago

my friend asked me to some help him get rid of some plants he had in his backyard, went and saw a fucking bamboo forest. i said we can cut all this down but it will be back sooner than you think. bamboo has now spread to all his neighbors yards and has fucked his pool up

[–]Arx0s 20 points21 points ago

And as the months went by, the bamboo spread further and faster into my home. They have penetrated my outer walls and now have claimed my 2nd bedroom. I live in fear for the day they come to claim me. I write this as a plea for help. I'm hiding in fear in the basement cellar. I have enough supplies to last a fortnight, but I fear I will be dead by then. The bamboo is starting to grow through the basement door! Time is short. My heart is pounding from the inevitable. Please, if you are reading this right now, help me. I know the cure. Help me so I can stop this plague. I am the only hope for this neighborhood. Time is short. Godspeed savior.

[–]richard_photograph 7 points8 points ago

im now fucking terrified of bamboo.

[–]Bob3333 17 points18 points ago

Round Up is your friend. Cut it down and paint the stumps with pure RoundUp concentrate.

[–]Triviaandwordplay 3 points4 points ago

paint the stumps with pure RoundUp concentrate

Roundup is better absorbed if sprayed on the entire plant in warm weather after it's been watered. The healthier the plant, the more it will take in an herbicide that works the same way glyphosate does. You want the plant to take it all the way into the roots and rhizomes. Bamboo will resprout from healthy rhizomes.

Bamboo is a species of grass, BTW.

[–]Punkmaffles 15 points16 points ago

Bamboo the apocalypse...

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–]kwh 9 points10 points ago

Tell your Dad his dog is actually a panda bear.

You would think he would notice something like that.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]ex1stence 9 points10 points ago

Oh, well thanks for clearing that up. For a second there I thought your Dad really might not have noticed the difference between a 600-pound bear that's native to China, and his dog.

[–]queenofkingcity 12 points13 points ago

They just had a Problem Solvers segment on our news station about this lady whose backyard was against a city park that had bamboo in it. Apparently it started shooting up on her side of the fence and just multiplied like crazy and the city hasn't done anything about it. The resident was saying that they'd probably need to dig up her backyard. If it were me, I would start with panda-breeding as a cuter alternative though.

[–]nevereven 14 points15 points ago

Never plant running bamboo. Clumping bamboo has no such issues. Clumping bamboo unfortunately only comes in tropical varieties.

[–]ChubbyGirlsPmMe 7 points8 points ago

We had this in our yard. Started to shoot up under the pool/tear the lining

[–]sirtimid 41 points42 points ago

Very informative. Thanks. Learn something new every day.

[–]pazbi 19 points20 points ago

TIL A lot about banana plants.

[–]FWilly 13 points14 points ago

Did you know: Most of the bananas eaten around the world(Cavendish) are clones of the same plant?

P.S. The "babies" are called suckers.

[–]Hrodebert 11 points12 points ago

Just an FYI: banana trees aren't trees.

[–]cresteh 3 points4 points ago

I used to have banana trees all over my backyard as well. Very resilient if you live in good weather. They are like Aloe. We would continually cut off the trunk, let it grow fruit, cut, rinse, rather, repeat.

Satisfying to cut.

[–]philge 79 points80 points ago

Bananas are not trees. They are large herbaceous plants.

[–]EnglishTraitor 35 points36 points ago

^ This guy has it. A "banana tree" only produces a single bunch of bananas, then that tree-like stem dies. So after harvest there's no reason to keep the stem, a new one with even more delicious bananas will grow from the roots soon.

[–]Lentil-Soup 12 points13 points ago

Also, a "bunch" is not what you buy at the grocery store. What you buy at the store is called a hand (and, an individual fruit is referred to as a finger). A "bunch" is actually several tiers of groups of hands.

[–]TheFrigginArchitect 7 points8 points ago*

Western tradition teaches that there are 8 hands in a bunch.

[–]iBlueSweatshirt 131 points132 points ago

Bananas can be whatever or whomever they want to be. Who are you to say otherwise? This is 2012, grow up.

[–]yourbuddyjoe 78 points79 points ago

This. Can we please end herbaceous bigotry that is rampant all over reddit?

[–]stoopidmonstr 42 points43 points ago

Can't. I'm herbaphobic.

[–]ScotteeMC 23 points24 points ago

Then you shouldn't ever visit /r/trees.

[–]subdep 11 points12 points ago

Deep thoughts: Shouldn't it really be called /r/herbs

[–]leBMD 7 points8 points ago

True story, someone beat you to that punch a year ago.

[–]Shuntbox 7 points8 points ago

BananTree 2012

[–]sirtimid 7 points8 points ago

You are correct. Bananas aren't trees.

[–]Braddigan 19 points20 points ago*

What everyone else says about regrowing and maintaining them is true. However what people don't mention is they are FUN to cut down. A horrible fact, but true.

You can take a machette and do a samurai-like sword draw through the entire tree and watch the two pieces separate as you walk away. Easily my favorite tree. For more fun you can throw the part of the tree you cut into the air and carry on the fun. Fruit ninja totally got their idea from banana trees.

Sword Vs Banana Tree Video. If he can do it with that stance, so can you.

[–]chantistar 8 points9 points ago

i have banana trees and they are a big mess. i don't recommend them. i have to cut them back down to the nub sometimes. they always grow back like nothing happened.

[–]grimpoteuthis 9 points10 points ago*

Banana "trees" don't give a shit.

[–]nullibicity 312 points313 points ago

What a strange picture, like ancient ruins or a spaceship.

[–]StellaMaroo[S] 184 points185 points ago

I think it kind of looks like a weird waterfall.

[–]remondo 29 points30 points ago

Dear Shitty_Research, Banana stem

[–]You_and_I_in_Unison 24 points25 points ago

I know right? FINALLY, a genuinely shitty watercolor.

[–]wackyman3000 2 points3 points ago

in shitty watercolor painting there is no time for research

[–]FlyingPasta 107 points108 points ago

First time I've seen a Shitty_Watercolour post in its infancy. Strangely fulfilling experience.

[–]rrjs 63 points64 points ago

I've been sitting here for the past 3 minutes refreshing the page to watch the upvotes rise. Perhaps its a sign I need to go outside or something.

[–]FlyingPasta 44 points45 points ago

I think it's a sign that I need to go to school. 10 minutes ago.

[–]killzone259 96 points97 points ago

10 minutes late to a class? You don't want to look dumb walking in late, might as well just skip the rest of it.

[–]gsfgf 29 points30 points ago

And take the rest of the day off so it doesn't look like you were just skipping class. Plus the bars open in about an hour and a half anyway.

[–]Dildo_Ball_Baggins 28 points29 points ago

Spoken like a true redditor.

[–]cynthiadangus 2 points3 points ago

"You aren't late until you actually show up!" That was my motto in college. Sure, I missed a lot of class, but at least I had a motto.

[–]chili_cheese_dog 25 points26 points ago

I think it's a sign to masturbate again.

[–]ImplyingImplicati0ns 21 points22 points ago

[–]shortie446 6 points7 points ago

The skittles ad campaign is out of control!

[–]InsightfulLemon 11 points12 points ago

Something like this or this might be a more fun way to watch.

[–]impendingbroom 4 points5 points ago

Whoa.

[–]Sniper_Guz 19 points20 points ago

What is this 'outside' you speak of?

[–]Homletmoo 4 points5 points ago

[–]shortie446 2 points3 points ago

Hey didn't Chris make the original FUUUUU rage guy?

[–]tonypotenza 18 points19 points ago

id much rather watch bananas waterfalls.

[–]SAYING_BAD_THINGS 14 points15 points ago

R Kelly could help you with that.

[–]Walrusisgood 7 points8 points ago

OH SNAP

[–]aromero 2 points3 points ago

I heard that video game sucks.

[–]catslyfe 5 points6 points ago

banana falls

[–]photo_salad 9 points10 points ago

I believe you're right: http://i.imgur.com/hUucF.jpg

[–]Novalith 4 points5 points ago

"Prometheus, are you getting this?"

[–]d_r0ck 3 points4 points ago

Reminds me of that tree in Pandora (from Avatar)

[–]pumpkinpounder 42 points43 points ago

Just looking at the picture i can taste that banana skin taste.

[–]mydeadbody 31 points32 points ago

It is making my mouth feel dry. :P

[–]TheFluxCapacitor 7 points8 points ago

Tannins.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]squigmig 7 points8 points ago

Upvoted so more people can laugh at you. :D

[–]dhaft88 109 points110 points ago

There's always money in the banana stem and whatnot etc.

[–]jewing 15 points16 points ago

Why would a banana grab another banana? Those are the kinds of questions I don't want to answer.

[–]ImJustRick 2 points3 points ago

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana stem, etc.

[–]imnotabus 15 points16 points ago

I'm waiting for someone to take a picture of this quality of a butthole.

And then all the reddit photographers come here and comment, "SO BEAUTIFUL!"

And then it's revealed that it's actually a butthole.

[–]Cherrytop 7 points8 points ago

It's your idea dude, so it should be your butthole.

Ass up!

Edit: Face in the pillow.

[–]Zeppelanoid 11 points12 points ago

That link is very descriptive.

[–]squigmig 5 points6 points ago

Not a butthole, they're lips. "In fact, in 2005 the brazillian magazine Carta Capital interviewed the photographer of this cover and he said that is really the lips of his ex-girlfriend's face. But the original idea was to shoot an asshole photo with the marble, but it looked too obvious to trick the dictatorship. So he and Decio Pignatari (who gave the idea for Tom Zé) decided to use the mouth lips even.

The full story is here (in portuguese)"

I clearly spend too much time on reddit.

[–]r_HOWTONOTGIVEAFUCK 7 points8 points ago

Looks like somewhere a snail would live.

[–]hoddap 31 points32 points ago

MOTHERF

Am I the only one who gets goosebumps from this shit? Jesus Christ.

[–]herzkolt 5 points6 points ago

They should add a "Not safe for Trypophobics".

[–]hoddap 2 points3 points ago

I second this idea. That would save me at least several hours of goosebumps and forearm scratching per year.

[–]tarqtarq 7 points8 points ago

Not at all, man. Scares me too. I think Reddit has just found to Fruit of all evil.

[–]MetallicOpeth 5 points6 points ago

Reminds me of Honey I Shrunk the Kids

[–]achshar 14 points15 points ago*

We had banana trees in backyard. I had to cut like 20 trees with kitchen knife because they are a mess. We planted just one and a year later there were like 50 of them! They grow like crazy. Plus the stain of that lace is bad and it is super sticky. Any mildly strong/sharp ticks can cut through them. they are mostly hollow and have alot of water in them. It's like some one opened a tap when it fell down, water everywhere. I am usually a nature guy but they were a mess and were over grown in a very small place and looks really bad plus bees used to make hive on them so it was necessary to bring them down.

EDIT: it was a few years ago so i can't bring any pictures but it was a train wreck. They formed a almost solid base after cutting them a few times and we had to bring in extra labor with huge shovels to get that thing out. It was easily about 6 feet wide and 3 feet long. Some times like a foot above the earth. But that too was kind of hollow. I think there were some kind of layers of leaves or some other growth that was visible once a shovel went into it. It was something like this [top right] but a lot thicker because years of untrimmed plantation.

[–]matterij 11 points12 points ago

Is it edible?

[–]myth1n 19 points20 points ago

i dont know about the stem, but my mom makes some food out of the flower part.

[–]rur1k0 12 points13 points ago

here we call it the Banana Heart and it is simply delicious.

[–]morkoq[!] 10 points11 points ago

how do you eat them?

[–]ScotteeMC 54 points55 points ago

With your mouth.

[–]MiloMuggins 7 points8 points ago

ಠ‿ಠ

[–]rur1k0 5 points6 points ago

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

It's meaty. Cut up the middle, mix with egg and ground beef, fry. D-freaking-licious.

[–]ohman-ohgod 5 points6 points ago

Yes, it is. It's a bit like bamboo shoots.

[–]maidenofrohan 2 points3 points ago

Yeah, we cook the banana stems in south india.

[–]fffram 2 points3 points ago

[–]igivefakestats 4 points5 points ago

Looks like some alien gladiatorial chamber with waterfalls they can fight through, behind, etc.

Or an Alien strip club with showers.

[–]danta7 5 points6 points ago

Ow, my trypophobia. If this makes you get goosebumps do NOT google that term.

[–]medicineboy 23 points24 points ago

ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring BANANA PHONE

[–]Frozenshades 3 points4 points ago

I've got this feeling, so appealing,

for us to get together and sing!

[–]thecriminalmind 4 points5 points ago

appeeling

[–]Skastrike09 6 points7 points ago

Incorrect amount of 'rings.' I am disappoint.

[–]slapded 3 points4 points ago

looks like close encounters

[–]Wild2098 4 points5 points ago

Atheist's worst nightmare.

[–]washboardsam 3 points4 points ago

(doot doooo, da do do)

Banana Stem.

(doot doo da do!)

Banana Stem.

[–]yParticle 2 points3 points ago

You bastard.

[–]ofcrpls 4 points5 points ago

I don't know what the big deal is. I cook it regularly. Best source of fibre in my book. Also the banana flower. That thing rocks when cooked right. But both of these need to be cut and put in water immediately before cooking. Become brown pretty quick after exposure to air. Recipes can be found here for those interested -> http://www.subbuskitchen.com/2009/10/vazhai-thandu-poriyal-banana-stem.html

[–]rindindin 2 points3 points ago

"Nuuuu, please don't go!"

[–]SelfDeprecating 2 points3 points ago

No one's going to ask what a banana stem is?

[–]ohman-ohgod 4 points5 points ago

It's the 'trunk' of the banana 'tree'. But since the banana tree isn't actually a tree, stem would be the right word for it.

[–]YoungFreshAndGreen 2 points3 points ago

Beautiful. That secondary growth is so....anomalous.

[–]201109212215 2 points3 points ago

Wow, this photo makes me think it kind of defines a style/genre of its own. Is there a style/category/community/subreddit centered around simple objects presented under a whole new angle?

[–]starchildx 2 points3 points ago

This picture made me think that this earth is so beautiful. Even down to teeny tiny things that we can't even see. (or don't even see) Good thought for Monday morning. Thanks for sharing!

[–]cassidymccormick 2 points3 points ago

That's awesome.

[–]Polluxo 2 points3 points ago

Holy shit that's what I just ate for breakfast? This is worse than spiders, what if there ARE little spiders crawling in the banana web, SHIT!

[–]PossiblyTrolling 2 points3 points ago

People still post cool pics that aren't of their pet here? So refreshing. Thanks OP, great pic.

[–]herenseti 2 points3 points ago

Ah but did you know that the banana plant is a herb not a tree?

[–]Tanniith 2 points3 points ago

My god...It's filled with bananas.

[–]fudashiii 2 points3 points ago

Did anyone else think this was actually the inside of a banana, just super close up?

[–]ErlendJ 2 points3 points ago

Looks like some incredibly, luxury shower.

[–]BananalandMovie 2 points3 points ago

Excellent photo. I wonder where it is taken from.

It really makes me want to buy and eat a banana.. but I can't do so in good conscience after having started working on editing this doc.

http://www.bananalandmovie.com/

(I really miss bananas, too)

[–]GetSchooled 2 points3 points ago*

Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas...

Disclaimer: I am sorry, but no one else has done it yet and the compulsion is... and then the link. Don't click it. I'm. Just. So sorry.

[–]Ahhartsock 2 points3 points ago

I find it a bit misleading when you say stem. That is clearly the banana tree itself cut open. I live in New Orleans and have done my fair share up uprooting banana trees. Not very fun cause the roots are so thick and if you don't take those out then the suckers just crop back up.