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763
764

The real Captain Obvious (imgur.com)

submitted ago by bluewhat

all 147 comments
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[–]Moozhe 73 points74 points ago

His superior officers don't understand why he keeps refusing his promotions to Major.

[–]lovelydayfora 36 points37 points ago

"Dismissed. Thank you, Captain Obvious."

[–]WwReptaRwW 25 points26 points ago

....says Private Parts

[–]Jucoy 43 points44 points ago

A Private doesn't get to say "dismissed" to a captain. It was probably General Area.

[–]experts_never_lie 23 points24 points ago

Major Malfunction is another possibility.

[–]stillalone 15 points16 points ago

General Warts?

[–]stillalone 13 points14 points ago

Major Surgery?

[–]artschoolvillian 16 points17 points ago

General Relativity?

[–]ExtrusiveIngenuity -3 points-2 points ago

Major Moron?

[–]Ass_Dragon 4 points5 points ago

Colonel Angus?

[–]nondickyatheist 2 points3 points ago

That comment was a Major Mistake.

[–]RedDaggerx 5 points6 points ago

Private Eye?

[–]Moozhe -1 points0 points ago

Colonel Sanders

[–]Elonine 0 points1 point ago

Well, the Air Force Chief of Staff is General Schwartz... that's kinda close.

[–]Keyserchief 2 points3 points ago

General Specific

[–]Uberphantom 1 point2 points ago

And don't forget, Private Public.

[–]silent_p 1 point2 points ago

That's what the Captain thought. He thought it was Private Parts, but he was actually Major Miscommunication.

[–]WwReptaRwW 3 points4 points ago

Private Parts cries

[–]Lokky 1 point2 points ago

Private Parts... /salute

[–]CaptainObliviousIII 0 points1 point ago

Hmm... it does say so right there on his chest. Hmm...

[–]goawayfools314 12 points13 points ago

He was promoted to captain by an IBM machine with a sense of humour almost as keen as his father's.

[–]agz6887 5 points6 points ago

But Captain Obvious looks nothing like Henry Fonda...

[–]thespag 3 points4 points ago

But Major Major Major does.

[–]le1ca 2 points3 points ago

Major Major Major Major?

[–]Charging_in -1 points0 points ago

I also have read catch-22. Great read.

[–]CaptainObliviousIII 0 points1 point ago

Looks legit to me...

[–]NextUp 2 points3 points ago

WKUK Corporeal Punishment Sketch
Highly Relevant

[–]Chibbox 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he just want to stay under the command of Major Titts.

[–]Gareth346 111 points112 points ago

Thank god for that big red arrow. Otherwise I might not have known.

[–]hummus6669 15 points16 points ago

thank god for big red arrows in general

[–]Monkeys_with_Guns 3 points4 points ago

I though the joke was obvious without it being needed to be pointed out.

[–]CaptainObliviousIII 1 point2 points ago

I was glad that it wasn't a private or inside joke.

[–]Zammin 1 point2 points ago

It was a major oversight on the posters part.

[–]johno456 -4 points-3 points ago

General

I see what you did there!

[–]AnomalyAnn 28 points29 points ago

yeah, it is quite obvious where to look.

[–]jantzn 13 points14 points ago

Obviously.

[–]CaptainObliviousIII 0 points1 point ago

Agreed, I was so lost for a second...

[–]Captain___Obvious 0 points1 point ago

The arrow points to the name to help you understand the joke

[–]IsThisTheRealLife -1 points0 points ago

I also saw the obvious arrow.

[–]cleminem9919 37 points38 points ago

"Ok soldiers, we have a good mission planned out, um don't get shot, that would be bad news bears, also blue on blue is a no-go, you know PID for all of your targets. Oh yeah, we are going to be wearing ACU's out for the foot patrol, no PT's. Ok, good? Great. Oh, and don't forget your reflective belts, you know how protective those things are!"

[–]Elonine 18 points19 points ago

The reflective belts stop bullets, didn't you know.

[–]Xenc 13 points14 points ago

No, they return them to sender. Duh.

[–]Influenzed 9 points10 points ago

If you don't wear them while PTing, a car will drive onto the field and run you over. Dumbass.

[–]ErrantWhimsy 1 point2 points ago

I read that as Don'cha know. Looks like I need to get out of Wisconsin.

[–]AtTheLeftThere 4 points5 points ago

SOMEONE MUST HAVE TALKED! HOW ELSE WOULD THE ENEMY KNOW WE ARE HERE?

[–]1LT_Obvious 6 points7 points ago

I'll get there someday

[–]Captain_obvious___ 8 points9 points ago

Sorry, what?

[–]MustardOrPants 1 point2 points ago

Somebody hold this guy back!

[–]Captain___Obvious 1 point2 points ago

Impostor

[–]Captain_obvious___ 0 points1 point ago

Dad?

[–]andrey_shipilov 31 points32 points ago

Reddit really needs a repost detector.

[–]what_user_name 11 points12 points ago

im pretty sure we have several already. like similarimage

[–]misappeal 3 points4 points ago

I would like to see a subreddit similar to r/funny moderated by a bot that has the same function as karmadecay, so that you wouldn't get so many reposts.

[–]pdmcmahon 1 point2 points ago

karmadecay.org + the hivemind = repost detector

[–]mstksg -2 points-1 points ago

what's wrong with reposts?

[–]mad_maxx17 3 points4 points ago

It's like having pizza for dinner everyday. Pizza fucking rocks, until you have it every day for six months. Then your like "What the fuck! Again!?"

[–]Hawkeye1226 1 point2 points ago

what about the people that didnt have pizza on that first day?

[–]mad_maxx17 0 points1 point ago

Your question doesn't make sense because the day you start eating pizza everyday for six months is your first day. Whether it was 10 years ago or yesterday is irrelevant.

[–]colossus16 -1 points0 points ago

I wouldn't mind having pizza everyday. I think it would be awesome, honestly.

[–]Perryn 1 point2 points ago

I propose a Pizza For Six Months Challenge. Some of you may already have a head start.

[–]supermegaultrajeremy 0 points1 point ago

Take it, you horrid old thing!

[–]txapollo342 2 points3 points ago

They annoy people that have seen them by forcing them to have contact with people they haven't seen them in the comments. Also by forcing them to have contact in the comments with people that don't comprehend the horrendous crime against humanity that is a repost.

tl;dr: am I the only one around here that gives a fuck about reddiquette? MARK IT ZERO!

[–]Revs2Nine 2 points3 points ago

From: Uncle ChainmailsFrom5YearsAgo; Subject: FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:FWD:

[–]riggsinator 3 points4 points ago

Well, that wasn't obvious enough... Thanks for the arrow. I was busy counting the stars when I realized the photo was about his name tag because of the arrow guiding me there.

Phew, thanks again.

[–]Creedofrest 2 points3 points ago

Sir! The enemies are shooting at us!

[–]AmorphisUniversm 4 points5 points ago

Captain Obvious shop

[–]Gambit1022 1 point2 points ago

I'd like to think he joined the military solely for that reason

[–]ys1qsved3 1 point2 points ago

What if the arrow was there as irony for his name?

[–]th3virus 1 point2 points ago

This image is so old, I'm sure the person in the picture is retired.

[–]signspam 1 point2 points ago

Fuck you Toby!

[–]harepower 1 point2 points ago

I enlisted next to a fella whom's last name was Samples - He was Seaman Samples for some time :)

[–]Waterskier87 1 point2 points ago

Kinda looks like peyton manning

[–]Cellophanehogwash 0 points1 point ago

Obviously

[–]midgetmime 1 point2 points ago

Obvious nametag isn't obvious.

[–]Nutshell38 0 points1 point ago

The arrow is meta. Also the word "meta" appears in "nametag"

[–]b4b 2 points3 points ago

Captain Repost

[–]Deus_ex_West 2 points3 points ago

Those are indeed captain's bars on his lapel. Nice job OP

[–]txn9 1 point2 points ago

first thing id do as his superior is promote him to captain and never promote him again :)

[–]Elonine 24 points25 points ago

Um, see that rank on his collar? He is a captain...

[–]yawner80 4 points5 points ago

Someone that clearly knows nothing about Army rank must have downvoted you.

[–]Elonine 13 points14 points ago

or Air Force or Marine Rank for that matter. Either way, I'll be fine, I'll find some way to sleep tonight without these internet points...

[–]DealerUmbra 2 points3 points ago

Like, say, a non-American. Yes, we exist. (FYI, I didn't downvote.)

[–]yawner80 0 points1 point ago

The country of origin has nothing to do with this. If someone downvoted Elonine stating, "He is a Captain".... they clearly know nothing about U.S. Army Rank.

The only reason I said anything is because he had negative votes at the time and he was correct.

[–]Elonine 1 point2 points ago

well, in all fairness, google is hard...

[–]DealerUmbra 0 points1 point ago

My point was that other countries use different ranking systems, and don't really have a reason to know any others.

[–]yawner80 0 points1 point ago

My point was it does not matter. I dont expect anyone outside of the U.S. Army to understand or care about U.S. Army rank; however, if someone starts downvoting (or disagreeing) with another person that correctly stated what rank CPT Obvious was... they clearly dont know anything about U.S. Army Rank. So,again... if someone does not know the U.S. Army ranking system... maybe they shouldnt downvote people with correct info...

[–]DealerUmbra 1 point2 points ago

Ah, okay. Then we have apparently been agreeing all along. Downvotes for correct information is indeed not justified.

[–]txn9 1 point2 points ago

oh well then this is aweosme. sad that he will never be promoted :(

[–]peoplesmushroom -1 points0 points ago

i beg to differ, a captain is a crown and three pips

[–]Elonine 0 points1 point ago

Well, the United States Military insignia for Captain is two silver or black bars. The Navy has an additional insignia for various uniforms, but also makes use of the two bars for the grade O-3.

http://www.defense.gov/about/insignias/officers.aspx

[–]peoplesmushroom -2 points-1 points ago

Welldone, you worked out not all of us live in the US of A. I can link to things too! look! http://www.battlefield-site.co.uk/britarmyranks.gif

[–]Elonine 0 points1 point ago

On the other side (opposite his name) you'll see a funny little nametape that says "U.S Army" letting everyone who cares know the country and branch in which he is commissioned.

Regardless of where people are from, they should at least be able to read that...

I'm just not getting where the British Military is coming into play here...

[–]peoplesmushroom -1 points0 points ago

Sigh, Americans, they never will learn the subtly's of wit.

[–]Slackbeing 13 points14 points ago

Major Major Major Major would agree.

[–]dbaderf 7 points8 points ago

As would Ex-PFC Wintergreen

[–]Lunok 0 points1 point ago

and General Public.

[–]GameFreak4321 -1 points0 points ago

  • General Quarters
  • General Stores
  • General Mills
  • General Panic
  • Major Trouble
  • Major Problem
  • Private Public

[–]JakeCameraAction 1 point2 points ago

Corporal Punishment.

[–]Mitz510 0 points1 point ago

Remember to shoot your enemy.

[–]RenaissancePlatypus 0 points1 point ago

Now to find Sergeant Sarcasm...

[–]CleverGirrl 0 points1 point ago

I saw a Major Dick once. It was quite the day.

[–]mad_maxx17 0 points1 point ago

I used to have a CO named Major Wood.

[–]Nekenieh 0 points1 point ago

Captain Obvious

Starring: Peyton Manning

[–]DukeOfGeek 0 points1 point ago

In my time I have met the real Captain Justice (fighter pilot, or course) and the Real Sgt. Hazard (U.S. Army).

[–]pdmcmahon 0 points1 point ago

Checks lapel insignia to see if perhaps he's something other than a captain so I can shove it down OP's throat.

FUCK

[–]CapitanObviousYo 0 points1 point ago

I feel offended

[–]pressthenekey 0 points1 point ago

So this is what they call the "internet"?

[–]harryd123 0 points1 point ago

Honestly thought that was a young Bruce Willis for a moment there...

[–]WorseGryphon 0 points1 point ago

Now we just need to find Captain Subtle.

[–]garysnail123 0 points1 point ago

He's in the army!

[–]desertdogkai 0 points1 point ago

older than the internet........

[–]JonoLith 0 points1 point ago

I assume he isn't in the stealth unit.

[–]benkenobi5 0 points1 point ago

being in the navy ruined this joke... I thought "that's a lieutenant..." took a second to get it.

[–]FireThenAim 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for pointing it out captain.

[–]Captain___Obvious 0 points1 point ago

anytime

[–]stfm 0 points1 point ago

Obvious repost

[–]CoyoteStark 0 points1 point ago

Thanks for pointing out his nametag Captain Obvi.............I see what you did there.

[–]1_captain_obvious 0 points1 point ago

HEY !!!!! >:(

[–]Captain___Obvious 0 points1 point ago

no

[–]ottoman_jerk 0 points1 point ago

THANKS FOR THE RED ARROW!!!!

[–]iamzelda 0 points1 point ago

I'm pretty sure he's only lieutenant Obvious.

[–]thegregling -3 points-2 points ago

Sorry all, I served with this gentleman. He was navy medical for our unit. His name is LT. Obvious!

[–]Keyserchief 0 points1 point ago

Wouldn't his tape read "U. S. NAVY" then? That's how it's looked on the MARPATs for the Navy folks I know who have IA'ed with the Marines. Or is it different with the Army?

[–]thegregling 0 points1 point ago

I didn't think people would see that, after all there is no arrow pointing to it, and it is camoflauge.

[–]Keyserchief 0 points1 point ago

Well... I guess I did. Those do look like Navy LT's bars, since they're slightly different from Army and Air Force Capt. bars. Why did you have a Navy doc with your unit instead of Army?

[–]thegregling 0 points1 point ago

I was just trolling. But for marines they attach navy persons to the unit since we don't have medical/dental mos in Usmc. And since we are under the dept of navy they just send them to our units.

[–]DeLoreanMotorCars 0 points1 point ago

For the down voters, the twin bars that are captains rank in other branches are actually a Lieutenant in the Navy.

[–]dr_funkenberry -1 points0 points ago

Never thought of Captain Obvious as someone who knows 11 ways to kill me with his thumbs.

[–]Desertjohnny 0 points1 point ago

Psssh. He's adjutant general (AG). Only way he could kill you is by dicking up your paperwork so badly you beat your head repeatedly against the nearest wall until you die.

[–]abacobeachbum -1 points0 points ago

How could anyone ever take that guy seriously?

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]yoshijaz 8 points9 points ago

Double bars in the Navy is Lieutenant, but in the Army, Air Force, and Marines, the O-3 rank (double bars) is Captain.

[–]MediocreJerk -2 points-1 points ago

Although he does look like a moron

[–]Carmen- -2 points-1 points ago

I guess it's not technically a repost.. Since you added a red arrow and all..

[–]CaptainObviousThe2nd -2 points-1 points ago

..Daddy??

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]antonarn1991 0 points1 point ago

Two bars means Captain, second lieutenant is a single gold bar.

[–]mad_maxx17 0 points1 point ago

yeah, stupid, everyone knows that.

[–]antonarn1991 0 points1 point ago

Not the guy I was replying to.

[–]lolzforfun 0 points1 point ago

my mistake.

[–]mickeyruts -1 points0 points ago

This is a funny picture because it is a picture of a captain, and his last name is Obvious.

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