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all 137 comments

[–]Dinocologist 27 points28 points ago

Never touch the stuff, fish fuck in it.

[–]DoubleOFace 23 points24 points ago

Out of wedlock too.

[–]Piraticalstyle 31 points32 points ago

I will never drink anything but bottled water, EVER AGAIN!!! Tasty tasty tears!

[–]coleosis1414 107 points108 points ago

The amount of people in this thread that legitimately didn't get that this was a joke...

[–]MrFisticuffs 8 points9 points ago

Wait. Who got mad about this the religious or environmentalists? If it was environmentalists, I side with them. Bottled water is vilified because of the horrendous waste of packaging and shipping a product that already arrives in every home at a fraction of the cost. If your tap water tastes bad buy a water filter. If you are one of those people who says, "But a bottled water is just convenient to grab on the way out the door," fuck you. Fill up a reusable bottle.

[–]AutumnEmber 2 points3 points ago

But what about all the delicious tears? Was their crying in vain?

[–]Spadeykins -4 points-3 points ago

No fuck you, i'll buy my water how I please. The water here seems to do things to people.

[–]MrFisticuffs 1 point2 points ago

Run it through one of those cheap Brita filters then. Most bottled water is just filtered municipal water anyway.

[–]mr_tw 1 point2 points ago

This is the 21 century we don't have water filters.

[–]lnenad 21 points22 points ago

Joke or no joke, this wasn't even remotely funny.

[–]President2028 30 points31 points ago

I laughed.

[–]MalcolmReynoldsWrap 13 points14 points ago

I laughed, I cried, I coughed (fucking allergies), I drank Stalin's tears.

[–]sierrabravo1984 1 point2 points ago

I raise my cup of coffee brewed with Hitler's tears in a toast. Cheers!

[–]MalcolmReynoldsWrap 6 points7 points ago

Coffee brewed with bottled water? I think we have an aficionado over here. Cheers!

[–]ComputerSavvy 0 points1 point ago

Not hard core enough?

Start brewing with this here:

http://www.amazon.com/Element-Caffeinated-Water-16-9-Case/dp/B005580CAK

[–]KoyaHusky 0 points1 point ago

I chortled.

[–]OurNameIsLegion -2 points-1 points ago

This is exactly why I unsubscribed from /r/atheism. These "infographics" and "jokes" are just as bad as the Pokemon Christians ("Gotta catch 'em all!")

[–]AlphaWings 0 points1 point ago

When I hit your post I said to myself "no way, NO ONE could miss this joke.". Then I kept reading...and now I'm depressed for humanity.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]paulwhiskie 5 points6 points ago

should have been posted in /r/etarded

[–]Wingsofra 42 points43 points ago

[–]jeffha3 36 points37 points ago

[–]Madrider760 1 point2 points ago

That part did kill me

[–]poops_on_midgets 3 points4 points ago

RIP

[–]stupidhank7 0 points1 point ago

upvote for you!

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

And I was actually excited to learn something...

[–]Ron_DeGrasse_Gaben 5 points6 points ago

While this info graphic doesn't give any real data, I can tell you tap water in the US is safer to drink than bottled water because of the regulations.

Tap water is strictly regulated by the EPA

Bottled water may seem safer but the FDA has more lenient regulations.

Bottled water contains more fecal coliform than tap water.

Etc.

[–]SharkUW 2 points3 points ago

Sort of. You'll be informed annually of the status of your tap water that actually fluctuates daily. Its also disingenuous to claim safer when the less safe is safe enough already.

[–]Grilled_Cheesy 0 points1 point ago

SO MY BOTTLED WATER HAS POOP IN IT?!

[–]Almost_Dead 23 points24 points ago

Didn't do so well at /r/atheism. Appears to be doing much better here.

title comnts points age /r/
Saw this on r/funny and thought it belonged here 0coms -2pts 3hrs atheism
WARNING! ATHEISTS ONLY DRINK BOTTLED WATER! 6coms -1pt 1mo atheism
Apparently bottled water is the spawn of Satan - not sure is serious or not 157coms 591pts 1mo atheism
Now you know 1com 3pts 1yr reddit.com
Water Religion Satire 3coms 3pts 7dys atheism

source: karmadecay

[–]NewDrekSilver 8 points9 points ago

It's on the front page of /r/atheism as I type this comment. currently at number 10.

[–]dheinzen2 5 points6 points ago

The repost is doing well to.

[–]no_thks_havin_butter 5 points6 points ago

"Artesian" is just a fancy word for "un-American." No sir, I don't like it!

[–]00nixon00 3 points4 points ago

Lol, I missed the part about the garbage and creepy crawler layers in my hydrogeology classes.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

In all fairness, I don't think there's a fossil layer either.

[–]DoubleOFace 2 points3 points ago

Not All Blogs Go To Heaven

[–]Kofetek 6 points7 points ago

Bloggers? XD

[–]AriBBCP -3 points-2 points ago

ECKS DEE

[–]Iamgoingtooffendyou 7 points8 points ago

And knowing is half the battle.

[–]0rangeNinja 23 points24 points ago

bottle FTFY

[–]AlphaWings 0 points1 point ago

Is it weird that I thought the original was "bottle" in the first place? I guess I was just expecting the pun before I even finished reading.

[–]Estrisk 0 points1 point ago

Aww fuck, you beat me to it.

[–]Aharvey9807 -1 points0 points ago

And the other half is violence

[–]Man_with_the_Fedora -2 points-1 points ago

False. The other half is 50% red and 50% blue lasers.

[–]catherinehavok 1 point2 points ago

but that's WHY i drink bottled water

[–]Consistently-Cynical 1 point2 points ago

Wait....Bloggers are evil now? Really?

[–]kernel-sanders 1 point2 points ago

bloggers subvert the holy word of fox news, fair and balanced.

[–]WARGLBARGL 1 point2 points ago

WATER FALLS FROM THE SKY WHY ARE YOU PAYING FOR IT BOTTLED

[–]MintyBalls 1 point2 points ago

I thought this was hilarious, but the misuse of the word purgatory dampened my jolly mood. Although with the purposeful misspelling of evolution to evil-ution may indicate that purgatory was incorrectly used on purpose. I do not think that is the case though, since this seems to be a parody of what a fundamentalist pamphlet on water might be like it is safe to presume that they would use the correct terminology while making science sound evil. It is therefore in my most inexpert opinion that I say the original artist must be held accountable for his mistake and be forced to drink that unholy bottled bilge some call "water".

[–]nick041 1 point2 points ago

I love the taste of abortion water.

[–]Jonny1992 1 point2 points ago

I'm drinking homosexual water....? I'm okay with that.

[–]Iskaaa 1 point2 points ago

But I like the taste of a Nazis tears! D:

[–]FortunePaw 1 point2 points ago

[–]Miserable_Bugger 1 point2 points ago

i play rock guitar AND i'm a Pagan...i'm fucked.

[–]misterjinx 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who had trouble reading the text because of the stupid fucking background and text colors being so similar?

[–]razorleaf97 1 point2 points ago

*goes to sink *fills glass, and takes sip-"so this is what Jesus tastes like"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

Delicious tears of the damned!

[–]BioSim00 1 point2 points ago

And knowing is half the battle.

[–]smookiedee 0 points1 point ago

*bottle

[–]grindertt 0 points1 point ago

It's a work.

[–]Aharvey9807 0 points1 point ago

Great! Now I'm thirsty! Hey loom some bottled water...

[–]watts 0 points1 point ago

This makes me want to throw away my reusable water bottles and exclusively drink bottled water...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

inb4 religion bashing

[–]2dollarb 0 points1 point ago

"...tears of the damned..."

Laughed so hard, I woke the dog!

[–]TheBigZocker 0 points1 point ago

I cant see a Shit

[–]jax9999 0 points1 point ago

yummy homosexual tears. I wantmore.

[–]kenpoben 0 points1 point ago

I'm not sure if i should upvote because it's funny as hell, or downvote because some actually believe that.

[–]YoloTolo 0 points1 point ago

well im officially a belieber now!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Well I don't know how much of Satan can live through the ionization of water, but if it comes from the "True Facts Institute of Americas", then I guess I don't have much room to argue...

[–]newguyfromFJ 0 points1 point ago

I really could go for some tears of the damned right now.

[–]TheGangsterPanda 0 points1 point ago

It's funny cause before I knew this I still hated bottled water cause tap water is so much better.

[–]Vtguy234 0 points1 point ago

This made me laugh. Hard.

[–]chuypwns 0 points1 point ago

They forgot politicians in purgatory.

[–]stlouisbrowns 0 points1 point ago

I really hope you got money or college credit for that, because otherwise that was one tragic waste of time and developing graphic design skills.

[–]femalenerdish 0 points1 point ago

Hell yeah!
Drinking Nazi tears!
Take that you Nazi bitch!

[–]floppy115 0 points1 point ago

hahaha very amusing btw not to be a correcting cameron but thats hell not purgatory :)

[–]hydraulic2 0 points1 point ago

b- bloggers?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

hey, if it gets people to stop buying into bottled water nonsense, then its fine by me

[–]Willem20 0 points1 point ago

Hah! Take that Atheists!

[–]Enigmaenigmas 0 points1 point ago

A repost... and I was the original poster....

[–]TheRedArrow 0 points1 point ago

Fun fact: all the water on earth has gone through at least one dinosaur's urinary track.

[–]jbungels132 0 points1 point ago

sorry to be a douche, but thats the inferno

[–]postitnotes88 0 points1 point ago

I know it's a joke. But I live in a country where tap water is not healthy to drink. So bottled water is the only option...

[–]Whatsername18 0 points1 point ago

The fuck?

[–]musicgoddess 0 points1 point ago

this isn't even near funny. it near "hell" as Christins would say

[–]cluelessone 0 points1 point ago

i can't wait to drink some bottled water. nothing quenches thirst quite like tears of the damned.

[–]goodguyguitarist 0 points1 point ago

The 2010 True Facts Institution of America copyright tag at the bottom is what really sold this to me.

[–]jaeke 0 points1 point ago

The fuck is this?

[–]youngedward 0 points1 point ago

So umm... Fun fact: god is not real:)

[–]iamfrostytom 0 points1 point ago

It's funny because I know Christians this close minded

[–]NoodleMonger 0 points1 point ago

Just more of a reason to drink it

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]AskYouEverything[!] 29 points30 points ago

It's obviously a joke.

[–]captevil 0 points1 point ago

Poe's law in full effect.

[–]ThePalePrince 0 points1 point ago*

TIL that bloggers are evil

EDIT: I can't acronyms

[–]InfamousAnarchist 1 point2 points ago

Today I Learned learned that bloggers are evil.

[–]PoolKattt 0 points1 point ago

They use the power of the Internet, and we all know how evil the internet is...

[–]TheeFlipper 0 points1 point ago

Why the fuck is this on the front page twice?

[–]speedyjohn 4 points5 points ago

Wait are you saying people post things on reddit that have already be posted?

[–]TheeFlipper 0 points1 point ago

I know that happens..but this is on the front page...twice. At the same time just under different subreddits. Which is ridiculous.

Also, been*

[–]speedyjohn 2 points3 points ago

FUCK YOU WORDS!!!!

[–]dragonshardz 0 points1 point ago

Evil-lution

I laughed. Upboat!

[–]SuggestiveMaterial -1 points0 points ago

I am going to assume this was a joke. Because if it isn't... and some poor christian network is touting this as fact.... i'm leaving this planet.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

[–]SuggestiveMaterial 0 points1 point ago

Yes i know thats where it's posting. I'm not retarded. But someone had to make it and with the way the GOP is this year.. i'm not entirely convinced that this isn't someones real theory about bottled water.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Even if it was someone's real theory, who cares? Just have a laugh, bro.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]coleosis1414 1 point2 points ago

No they weren't. are you fucking kidding me? More like a r/atheism member randomly having an ironic lash-out at religion because they were bored and owned photoshop

[–]jiro27 0 points1 point ago

Touché

[–]Spade6sic6 0 points1 point ago

Where I live, the only way I know this is fake is because it was done on a computer. Dem peepole hya don knoe haw ta werk dem fany beepin devil masheens.

[–]waitress_is_waiting 0 points1 point ago

its more like he really believes and is trying to force his views on others

[–]Magicmann999 -3 points-2 points ago

So brave

[–]bamfy -5 points-4 points ago

The more you know!

[–]Reebzy -2 points-1 points ago

Fantastic post, this is all true and factual because reasons.

[–]ThePunisher56 -2 points-1 points ago

I only drink the blood of my enemies!

[–]lurker_becomes_lurkd -2 points-1 points ago

As facetious as this is, this is pretty much the only argument someone who is against bottled water has.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

It's already on their front page. I've seen it twice now because I was browsing /r/all

[–]tne2008 -4 points-3 points ago

I am a manager of a bottling plant, and I can say with 100% confidence that for the most part, there aren't safety issues with tap water, but bottled reverse osmosis water tastes a hell of a lot better.

[–]diggoran 1 point2 points ago

I'm a human and I can say with 100% confidence that 60% of the time tap water is safe and bottled water tastes better. Now that I've given my expert opinion, you can finally start drinking water.

[–]aalluri7 -4 points-3 points ago

this info graphic sucks if it making fun of religion why make the real argument on their side. tap water in first world countries is equal to if not better than bottled water in first world countries.