My mother, to this day...

freshpickles · 4 months

I received a phone call from my parents approximately two months after I had moved out for university. My dad was furious that I had managed to get a virus on their computer 500km away from them.

SpermWhale · 4 months

Hit the monkey, and win an iPad.

GeminiCroquette · 4 months

Posted a few days ago, couldn't be truer:

I've actually been using the cars analogy for a couple months now and I think it's very fitting. Imagine if you were a mechanic who owned an auto shop and your average customer call went something like this:

Customer: My car isn't working and I need you to fix it immediately, this is an emergency

Mechanic: Alright sir what seems to be the problem?

Customer: I don't know, I tried to use my car on friday and it didn't work, now it's monday and I need to get to work and I can't and this needs to be fixed right now.

Mechanic: Can you start the car? Can you even get into your car? Does it make any sounds when you try to start it? Are all 4 tires there?

Customer: I don't know, I don't know what any of that stuff means, I tried to get to work and it wouldn't let me and you need to fix it now because you changed my oil 6 months ago.

Mechanic: Alright well what kind of car are you driving?

Customer: I don't know, a green one, why does that matter?

Mechanic: Please take a look at the back of your car and see if there are any letters or numbers that would indicate a vehicle model or manufacturer

Customer: Ok, my car is a SV2 87K.

Mechanic: No sir that's your license plate. My records indicate that you drive a Nissan Altima, can you confirm that the key you're using to try and get into this car says Nissan on it?

Customer: My key says Lexus but I don't see how that makes a difference, I've been using this key on this car for years and it's always worked, what did you do to my car?

Source

OldMateJesus · 4 months

I live with my grandparents and my pop forever blames me for "messing up" the computer when I'm the only one in my house that knows anything about them. He stuck a USB into the Ethernet port and when I told him he blamed me for it.

mmcg711 · 4 months

"It didn't get a virus until you started surfing Myspace/Facebook! It has nothing to do with all these toolbars I've downloaded and all the freeware I've gotten from Yahoo!"

troxnor · 4 months

I installed Chrome for my girlfriends mom. 20 minutes later she clicks a FREE $1000 WALMART GIFTCARD link, and then the computer starts acting all weird. For the rest of the day she kept making snarky comments about how "that dumb program you installed broke my computer"

Sandbox47 · 4 months

You fool! It was the porn, not the games!

Come to think of it, I've never had viruses from porn ...

PenisSizedNipples · 4 months

Every time the hard drive on my parents old computer started spinning my dad would say 'there goes that worm in there.' I'm still not sure to this day if he thought there was an actual, physical worm eating our computer.

Johnny_Siggs · 4 months

I got blamed for a virus before and all I did was change the wallpaper...

QuayleSpotting · 4 months

What always killed me was by their own admission my parents knew next to nothing about computers and constantly had to have my help for anything. But the moment there was a virus they were suddenly experts and knew that the games were to blame.

kylebutts · 4 months

"HAVE YOU BEEN GOING ON YOUTUBE AGAIN?"

I don't know how my mom is so computer illiterate, her mother is a programmer.

bobdude0 · 4 months

My mom successfully uninstalled WoW. For those who don't know, that game is more then 10 gigs and is downloaded over Internet. It took a long time to fix that up.

BaconIsGodsGift · 4 months

my moms classic line is "My computer is so slow; I should delete things off my Hard Drive"

Tormenta263 · 4 months

My mom blames me for "overusing the tv" when her favorite channel's reception isn't good...

Sidbob · 4 months

My mother did this, she still doesn't understand why her computer gets viruses even though there are no games on it.

Psychogenics · 4 months

my whole childhood + teen years frustrations in this MEME described perfectly word for word.

Naylor · 4 months

my dad acts like steam is some illegal underground crime ring that floods my computer with viruses, and it definitely is not the obscure never been heard of before search engines he use.

DongleNocker · 4 months

Old people that lack all but basic computer user skills are the root of all botnets, and each one will blame their way more computer savoy child when they make a mistake. PC games have become the whipping boy of these people simply because they refuse to admit they could of done anything wrong.

JeremyKean · 4 months

My dad would always use sketchy fucking torrents so he could pirate Top Gear. He would get some shitty virus almost monthly and have to pay to get his whole computer fixed. But every god damn time he got one, he would actually blame me for "All the fucking YouTube I watch" and all the games I play, like Minecraft, TF2, etc.

I showed him this and he still gets all offended.

Also, my retard of an aunt banned me from using her laptop because she believed I gave her some virus that kept her permanently on fullscreen. When I tried to explain to her all she had to fucking do was click F11 she freaked out and said "I don't fucking know what that is! I don't have my laptop with me! Do you know how much this is going to cost me to fucking get fixed?!"

cass314 · 4 months

My dad used to do that all the time. He views himself as computer savvy (he's probably better than the average person who calls tech support, but not by much), and he'd complain if the computer was running slow that it was something I'd done. Games were the particular culprit.

He once tried to "fix" my laptop (which was not in need of fixing at all, and actually was my laptop; I'd paid for it) by downloading one of those "you may be infected, click here for a free sweep" things. It found "suspicious text" in some of my word documents, and since they were password protected (I used to do a lot of fiction writing, and passworded things because my little brother liked to snoop) he just up and deleted them. Then he decided that because the computer was then infected, to download a bunch of other shady shit. He maintains to this day that I fucked up the computer, and his actions just came too late to save it. I eventually just wiped the whole thing and lost about two weeks of stuff I hadn't backed up, and no computer I own goes anywhere near him unless I'm prepared to lose everything on it. (I give my parents my old ones to use when I upgrade, for example).

But for some reason, when I come back to visit and the home computer is fucked up, he still wants me to fix it.

cirocinmycup · 4 months

Me: But mom, my friend johnny has this game and he doesn't have any viruses. Mom: Well if johnny jumped off a bridge would you follow him? Me: Mom that makes no sense.

creosin · 4 months

ah yes, the good old days when my mom would get drunk and trash my room because she thought installing games caused viruses on the computer

esuma10 · 4 months

That game is making everything go slow!

I reformatted the hard drive and installed RAM, our computer went faster because I did this, but no. Still too slow in their eyes and Diablo II had to go. In 2007...

Sciurusdoomus · 4 months

I tried to tell her about cookies one time and she literally said "Stop making up words!"

Hipster_Gary · 4 months

Mom on computer "I won an ipad! click (bluescreens) "SON WTF DID YOU DO!"

mrbooze · 4 months

I have an easy solution to this problem. I don't fix or work on the computers of people who are not paying me to do so. And I am very expensive. My brother in law is a doctor, he doesn't perform surgery on relatives for free either. The curious difference is nobody expects him to.

My one weak spot in this armor would be my wife, but she's pretty savvy with computers herself, so almost never needs my help, and doesn't immediately dispute everything I say when I do offer help.

TL;DR Tell your parents/siblings/friends to fuck off, use your own equipment, and find a good spouse.

quasimodo56 · 4 months

I always get told that playing DVDs on my computer is going to "wear it out." Also Steam can't be legitimate because her computer tech guy at work had never mentioned it.

HellHaven · 4 months

So we had this big ass 62' tube television. (Think of the models that came out just before LCD's went big). The lines in the TV were beginning to break, so I adjusted the little knobs to tighten them up and improve the picture. 2 years later one of the tubes goes kuputz and we can't find a replacement tube anywhere in Canada. My moms blames, 2 years later, for breaking her big screen.

Trojanbp · 4 months

My dad always did this. He would talk about the viruses attached the the games I install and stuff. I'm like, "why would they put viruses on there when they want more players and money?"

Ryansacat · 4 months

I downloaded minecraft one time And never heard the fucking end of it

JiggaWatt79 · 4 months

I was hearing this from my father in the mid to late 90s. Some things don't change. I guess I'll blame my kids for causing glitches in my holographic reality simulator someday.

sweatypants · 4 months

my father once insisted that espn.com gave his computer a virus and not the little, low tech forums he posts to.

MissAllaprima · 4 months

it's a strange phenomenon. they automatically assume that you've broken the computer, because you're more knowledgeable than they are.

i can't think of any other situation where somebody would assume that all problems are caused by people with more competence than them.

someguy945 · 4 months

Make a separate non-administrator user account for each person who uses the computer. Show them how to log in and log out.

All the viruses each person gets will end up in their "Users" folder. When you run that MalwareBytes full scan it will be easy to see who got what.

speshulk1207 · 4 months

mine blames me for playing WoW when her computer gets a virus. WoW is on my computer. Apparently, me being oon the same network with WoW got her computer the eHerp.. -.-

Was_This_Helpful · 4 months

Ugh, my husband does this. "Well it didn't start acting up until you put [insert game title] on here." I know more about computers than he does apparently.

Sanderf90 · 4 months

My dad once grounded me cause the computer crashed after I changed the desktop. Days on end of yelling "You did this."

SeaBones · 4 months

"Gets virus on computer"
Clicks scan and delete
Actually gets virus on computer because she fell for one of those fake windows.
Blames you because you "fiddled with it" and deleted all her Internet Explorer toolbar add-ons.

enodllew · 4 months

Mums and the difference between spam, junk and genuine emails - they just don't get it.

Sprocketlord · 4 months

My mom does this every time I use her computer. "It wasn't broken until you started playing games, they all have their own virus!" followed by "This button says I can download wikipedia for free!"

OverPaidChimp · 4 months

My dad is a computer programmer so thank fuck he doesn't think like this and also for this reason there has never been any viruses on any computers we have owned. That being said, the word porn is blocked by firewalls if it is part of the URL.

F0xism · 4 months

My mother downloads more shows, movies, music than anyone else I know. But me installing skype on her laptop causes the viruses you know.

Chilaxbro · 4 months

Same thing used to happen to me when I was younger, now I repair computers for a living and you better believe most people will still argue with me over problems with their computer.

"Yes ma'am, I did give you a computer full of viruses, all this free desktop wallpaper applications and free smileys you downloaded did nothing but improve your computer."

Kilgannon_TheCrowing · 4 months

All IT people should just install adblock on old people's computers.

Then again, fixing stupid problems is a nice way to rake in guaranteed revenue.

rasta_lion · 4 months

My mom did this all the time. I kind of believed her until I read an article the other day on r/technology that said ads on religious websites are more likely to contain viruses than ads on porn websites

harryrackham · 4 months

This is what my dad always says

viking71 · 4 months

My mother is convinced that Steam and Origin are the direct cause of viruses...Maybe we should all use Macs...that would prevent viruses right?...lol

ClusterMakeLove · 4 months

"If you don't quit playing those games, I'm going to take a magnet to the CDs!"

r00dyp00 · 4 months

My mother called me up a few months ago (after about 6 years of no communication)...

All she said was, "what did you do to my computer?" Out of curiosity, I asked what happened.

She said that her computer somehow always seemed to be logged in to "Administrator", even though she has her own separate account on the computer. Then she said Microsoft called her and said she had a pirated version of Windows.

She told me to stop hacking in to her computer, and using it to do illegal shit, or she'd call the police on me.

I proceeded to laugh my ass off, then hung up.

Some people are just useless at computers, and because of their inability to take responsibility for their own actions, will proceed to blame all of their problems on the last person to touch it.

It's why I bought a laptop.

InVultusSolis · 4 months

Couple the baby boomer generation's arrogance with technology, and this is what you get.

cbrunos · 4 months

Put Ubuntu on her computer (assuming she doesn't need Windows-specific software for work like Ms Office) and never have problems again. I did that to my parents computer, they only surf the web and send me emails, and in 3 years, they never, ever had an issue. Do yourself a favor buddy.

Bigmada · 4 months

Cool_image.jpg.exe

bobulesca · 4 months

Oh god, used to happen to me when I was a kid visiting my grandparents. I wanted to install AIM on their computer so I could still talk to my friends and not loose my shit from spending a concentrated week with my family, but my grandpa told me not to because "if you install a program, you'll get a virus." I blame fearmongering news anchors for putting that shit in their heads.

x30Jx · 4 months

MEANWHILE, ON 123FREE3DWALLPAPERS4U.BIZ...

YuuExussum · 4 months

My dad is like this but 1 thousand times worse. If it isn't internet explorer or scrabble, its a virus. I installed a utility that would allow me to overclock his old machine (I used it before and knew it works) he shouted at me for installing anything even after explaining to him what it did and how i could use it he shouts "NO! IT ONLY SLOWS IT DOWN!!! " so before uninstalling I underclocked it severely low.

nukethewhalesagain · 4 months

As a guy who regularly gets asked to look at computers by coworkers, games are a pretty safe bet. Just not the games you and I play. I can't tell you how many Snood ripoffs I've had to uninstall.

acelement · 4 months

Surely it couldn't be a result of the 5 or 6 different "toolbars" installed on your browser which take up the entire top half of the screen.

matsky · 4 months

I tried to install a Warhammer game on my grandma's brand new computer my tech savvie uncles just set up for her that day in the late 90s. Fucking thing caused a major malfunction somewhere with a driver or something and made it blue screen hard. I think they had to reinstall Windows. Felt so awful. Their mouths kept saying "it's not your fault" but their faces said "fuck you with a cheese grater." Scared me off computers for a while. I did nothing but insert the disc and start to install. Edit: it was this fucker.

Schura · 4 months

One of the best parts of moving out of my dad's was getting to gloat like a motherfucker every time he called me in to get rid of a virus or other maintenance, and couldn't blame me for it.

Feels good man.

Bennetting · 4 months

My mom said the same thing. Funny thing was, when I got my own computer, the family computer continued to get viruses, what a surprise.

OnTheEveOfWar · 4 months

My dad is the worst. I'll come home and bring my PS3 and hook it up to our TV. Two months later he will have an issue and call me saying "Your video games broke the TV!"

SharkBaitDLS · 4 months

This thread makes me incredibly grateful for the fact that my parents aren't idiots about computers

bluesberry · 4 months

I told my mom about Reddit, she gets a virus soon after and blames it on the fact that "people can post anything they want on there" so she thinks she clicked on a link and got a virus

localsportsteam · 4 months

Maybe installing games is mom slang for masturbating to Asian chicks.

romad20000 · 4 months

This is going to be in each generation:

+1920's: "That gold's not going to fuck up my stocks is it"

+1930's: "That stocks not going to fuck up my gold is it"

+1940's: "That TV's not going to fuck up my radio is it"

+1950's: "That Color TV's not going to fuck up my B/W TV is it"

+1960's: "That touch tone is not going to fuck up my rotary is it"

+1970's: "That Microwave is not going to fuck up my oven is it"

+1980's: "That Nintendo is not going to fuck up my TV is it "

+1990's: "That Game is not going to fuck up my computer is it"

+2000's: "That website's not going to fuck up my computer is it"

+2010's: "That Apps not going to fuck up my phone is it"

The real question is what will we say to our kids?

FappDerpington · 4 months

I hit sketchy websites all the time. I keep AVG running and the number of "warnings" I have received is small. Am I doing something wrong???

AwesomysPrime · 4 months

Mother: The fucking computer doesn't work because of you! Me: Mom, those games don't give yoy- Mother: Shut up. Go to your fucking room. (Yep, it's like that. I never get to speak in arguments, so she gets a false sense of winning, and struts off like she is victorious.)

Willzay · 4 months

Our old family computer would chug along nicely but found some tasks abit much, naturally. Any time the fan went turbo for a second my parents would go "what are you downloading now!?". I'd explain that I was editing video on Sony Vegas and its alittle demanding on the PC.

NOPE. They claimed the noise was the hard drive spinning so I must be downloading torrents.

sigh

I love that we all have separate pcs/macs and mine is running the smoothest out of them all.

satnightride · 4 months

I live 1000 miles away from my parents/grandparents and they STILL do that.

Also, I received a Skype call from my grandmother asking me how to skype. It was very funny.

Mordecai2056 · 4 months

God damnit. I'm 20 years old now. Built my own computer, going to school for IT and have fixed every family member's computer at least 10 times. And she still blames me for getting viruses. She also whines when her computer is slow when she has about 5 of those programs that give you free game trials (WildTangent etc.) that all load up as soon as she turns the damn thing on. And of course she refuses to use anything other than Internet Explorer. It's absolutely infuriating.

DrRad · 4 months

Years ago we had to share a computer in my house. I would take turns with my sister. She DESTROYED this computer. Every virus known to man. When she would get blamed by my dad and me, she would say it was my fault for having iTunes and WoW installed saying those give viruses. To this day, she still says iTunes gives you viruses.

SpaceHeeder · 4 months

Our computer's power supply failed once. I got yelled at for two hours for "downloading."

MrMiller · 4 months

I'm not mad about the repost. Just jelly that you scored a lot more karma than I did.

BillSu55man · 4 months

If the game is runescape then she might be on to something.lol

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