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all 35 comments

[–]Eekafreak 12 points13 points ago*

Your friend obviously never tasted my wife's cooking..

[–]crunch816 3 points4 points ago

I would've gone with a pineapple.

[–]krystiano 2 points3 points ago

Pineapple is nothing compared to Durian

[–]crunch816 2 points3 points ago

Isn't that the fruit that smells like zombie asshole?

[–]monster01020 1 point2 points ago

Yup. Apparently it smells like that to attract other creatures; it doesn't work as well for humans.

[–]acmecorps 1 point2 points ago

I tell you, South East Asian humans would like to differ.

[–]crunch816 0 points1 point ago

I like to smell like a port o potty...that brings the bitches to the yard.

[–]Dapwell 0 points1 point ago

Nice try, Ted Mosby!

[–]andybent25 7 points8 points ago

This exact joke was posted yesterday...

[–]ZeMilkman 1 point2 points ago

And it already has been posted by George Takei. Which is my downvote/upvote threshold. I accept that there are reposts and they are okay because not everyone has seen the stuff the first time, but reposting something Takei already brought to the facebook..

[–]andybent25 0 points1 point ago

Yup.

[–]NatalieMcK 2 points3 points ago

My friend thinks he's so smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry when you cut it. So I butchered his cat in front of him.

[–]benbeltran 1 point2 points ago

Wasn't this an Anthony Jesselnik joke?

[–]spultra 1 point2 points ago

This sounds like a joke that that awkward kid in 8th grade would tell. Then he'd say something about monkeys and cheese.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

My friend thinks he's smart. He said that onions are the only food that makes your eyes water when you cut it.

So I cut the cheese.

[–]oRyan_the_Hunter 1 point2 points ago

George takei posted this like a week ago.

[–]Yayme74 0 points1 point ago

Scallions and Shallots too!

[–]AmmeppemmA 0 points1 point ago

And garlic.

[–]llirrem 0 points1 point ago

Garlic makes you cry too

[–]Measly 0 points1 point ago

As does horseradish.

[–]st1710 0 points1 point ago

That's cruel, now he'll be coconut shy.

[–]Fast_As_Hell 0 points1 point ago

I would have gone with something original and not a repost.

[–]ProbablyInteresting 0 points1 point ago

This looks like the type of shit we see on Facebook every fucking day.

[–]I_Am_Not_An_Expert 0 points1 point ago

Ever shit out a ghost chili?

[–]CaptainCrunch 0 points1 point ago

written by Jack Handey.

[–]jswing37 0 points1 point ago

I would've thrown a watermelon

[–]sealsFLY 0 points1 point ago

straight up asshole

[–]time_traveller_ 0 points1 point ago

What about chicken fat? That makes my eyes tear up like a bitch.

[–]vsync 0 points1 point ago

Fixed.

Please don't throw a coconut at my face.

[–]Lambotherabbit 0 points1 point ago

Oh, you.

[–]GavinRC 0 points1 point ago

I'm sorry for being "that guy" but how the fuck does shit like this get on the 2nd page of reddit? Seriously! Is reddit going retarded? Did i miss the URL and i ended on 9gag my mistake?

[–]RugerRedhawk 0 points1 point ago

Yeah this is terrible, and not even slightly funny. I think I will begin to hide this subreddit.

[–]mattc286 -2 points-1 points ago

Ugh. Grammar.

[–]PressPush -4 points-3 points ago

Funny. Ahaa

[–]Skizzikwok -1 points0 points ago

Tears of blood.