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all 67 comments

[–]arthurlockman 103 points104 points ago

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The inside of this glorious card: a poem. http://i.rthr.me/UGkB

[–]please_note 40 points41 points ago

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Fuck OP. Arthurlockman delivers.

[–]DjROOOOMBAAAAA[S] 11 points12 points ago

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You win.

[–]Cynikal818 10 points11 points ago

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Tell me I can still buy this card...please...

[–]yeaup 1 point2 points ago

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I want one that has this poem on the inside, but no writing on the outside. I feel like I would get a better reaction face.

[–]utsavman 1 point2 points ago

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If a girl doesn't get flattered at this I'll lose my shit. I mean nobody usually complements sex, so if the sex is good enough to make a card about it then it must some kick ass sex !

[–]toolatealreadyfapped -1 points0 points ago

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Well, all sex is good sex. Complimenting mediocre sex, and pretending like it's the best sex you've ever had, is a good way to ensure more sex.

[–]scurvyorca 36 points37 points ago

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Ah, this reminds me. Mother's Day Sunday after next.

[–]reallymadgoat 5 points6 points ago

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Your mother must get this alot of these cards.

[–]scurvyorca 2 points3 points ago

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Yours came early, as usual.

[–]akatypes 0 points1 point ago

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oh dang. what is it dawg? I forgot its mothers day.

[–]zaent 1 point2 points ago

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didn't get a gift for her, other plans got in the way

[–]I_Am_Aushay 55 points56 points ago

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In the "Get well from the group" sleeve.

[–]dang_Ling_modify_her 6 points7 points ago

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Gangbang related injuries are real and Hallmark understands that.

[–]fitzgizzle 2 points3 points ago

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I came here to say this.....there are a few things wrong here.

[–]donmagicjohn 18 points19 points ago

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can anyone get me a link to where I can buy this?

[–]arosef1027 25 points26 points ago

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What does the inside say?

[–]Aquaman314 62 points63 points ago

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Btw I have herpes

[–]arosef1027 12 points13 points ago

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Well if that doesn't say "I love you", than i don't know what will

[–]rstuckmaier 8 points9 points ago

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It's the gift that keeps on giving.

[–]thatguyfrompreschool 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Fapologist 1 point2 points ago

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Am I the only one that read it in Chef's voice?

[–]wesman212 2 points3 points ago

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I read it in Butters'.

[–]Fapologist 0 points1 point ago

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[–]ozpunk 17 points18 points ago

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Happy Birthday, Grandma!

[–]bsage 4 points5 points ago

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So please don't tell my wife.

[–]Torg0 2 points3 points ago

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In the butt.

[–]NULLACCOUNT 5 points6 points ago

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With your vagina.

[–]munnyfish 1 point2 points ago

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i bet it's a penis

[–]mestisnewfound 16 points17 points ago

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Must... give... to... wife!!!

[–]Plexicraft 5 points6 points ago

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Jeff Winger could use it

[–]cloudduel_13 5 points6 points ago

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Honesty is the best policy.

[–]ComputerSavvy 3 points4 points ago

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Get really sick & twisted, place it in the bereavement cards section.

[–]Wraithpk 5 points6 points ago

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I work at Hallmark, we have so many creepy cards. There is one that goes into great length about the "pleasures of your body."

[–]MrAwesome666 4 points5 points ago

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So this is real? I was positive it's photoshopped

[–]Wraithpk 6 points7 points ago

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It's probably real. I haven't seen that particular one at my store, but we have cards for almost anything, and tons that are about sex.

[–]UKMuffins 5 points6 points ago

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I'd enjoy receiving this card on valentines day

[–]Dananddog 6 points7 points ago

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I've seen that one, it's from the "Friends with Benefits" collection I believe.

[–]EnderofDragon 4 points5 points ago

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if there were such such a thing, I would actually start sending out cards.

[–]Kookoouchu 2 points3 points ago

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Dear journal

Today I found the perfect Mother's Day card to give to mommy. She will be pleased.

-Kookoouchu

[–]Attack86 2 points3 points ago

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Ahh... I remember when I received this card. Brought me so much closer to my hand...

[–]HeyWire17 1 point2 points ago

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Why is that in the get well section?

[–]Forhavu 1 point2 points ago

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Considering your in the "Get Well" section, the inside might not be expected.

[–]browncanvas 1 point2 points ago

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sex in your vagina is tops.

[–]absinthetee 1 point2 points ago

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[–]MissErnst 1 point2 points ago

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Got that exact card for a man, and now he's my husband. Coincedence? I think not.

[–]absinthetee 1 point2 points ago

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The man i got it for is no longer my man. Sadly the only thing i miss is, well, his "thing."

[–]arrowX 1 point2 points ago

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The Halls are loaded. One of them goes to my school. Richest girl there. And it's full of preppy rich kids.

[–]zacktyzwyz 0 points1 point ago

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The inside says: "We'll bang, ok?"

[–]coolmandizzy1 0 points1 point ago

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I'm Barney Stinson and I approve of this card.

[–]sxcamaro 0 points1 point ago

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Lowered Expectations

[–]whoopzzz 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of the movie 500 Days of Summer.

[–]Pwnk 0 points1 point ago

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TIL Captain Subtle's true profession: Hallmark Cards!

[–]mgill355 0 points1 point ago

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I am definitely going to hallmark to try and find this card.

[–]canadian028 0 points1 point ago

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I like having sex with you... If you know what I mean

[–]Its_me_Nick 0 points1 point ago

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shouldn't it say "We All Like Having Sex With You"?

[–]karaismysister 0 points1 point ago

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Your username :D

[–]FeedMeMau5 0 points1 point ago

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A "get well from a group" card? What is this, an apology from that orgy that ripped your ass open? "Sorry about your butt, but I loved having sex with you." I know I'd feel a lot better after receiving this.

[–]amolad 0 points1 point ago

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Do they have one that says "buttsex"? I'd buy that for a dollar.

[–]Villainsoft 1 point2 points ago

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Better than " i like having sex ON you"

[–]MrDribbles -1 points0 points ago

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Or in you.

[–]HobKing -1 points0 points ago*

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That's not subtly classy, it's subtly classless.

Downvote? The subtle part is that it's blunt and direct. The obvious parts, the font and the image, are classy. My comment wasn't a judgement on the quality of the card, it was a correction of the title.

[–]artemisfowl15 -3 points-2 points ago

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That came from the "get well from the group" section, right?

[–]Crunchitize_Me_Capn -5 points-4 points ago

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Almost as subtle as this: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sKqgC_BR_pA