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all 47 comments

[–]Lynx_Rufus 56 points57 points ago

Farmer here.

Nope nope and nope. Always pick up baby chickens from behind, pinioning the wings with your palms, securing the legs between your ring fingers and pinkies, and pointing the head away from you.

[–]fairwayks 10 points11 points ago

You mean like this or this but not like this.

[–]Lynx_Rufus 1 point2 points ago

Exactly, thank you.

[–]Phantom_Scarecrow 4 points5 points ago

Otherwise, you get the flapping, and the projectile pooping...

[–]DNAsly 1 point2 points ago

This works for a bird you know won't fly away (not too far anyways). For wild birds I like to walk up and throw a shirt or light towel over them. It keeps them calm and ensures you can catch them. That's also supposed to work on crocodiles! (If you cover their eyes that is...)

[–]MrButtermancer 1 point2 points ago

Grew up on a farm. Man speaks truth. Little crappers like to run around in circles too which makes them difficult to grab sometimes.

[–]seanleephoto 0 points1 point ago

I clicked comments fully expecting someone to say this. In fact I only clicked comments to confirm my suspicions

[–]Cockaroach 0 points1 point ago

I usually cup the chick in one hand, letting its legs dangle between my fingers and pinning its wings with my thumb. Means I can fend off the berserk hen with my other hand, too.

[–]Trapped_in_Reddit 19 points20 points ago

Checkmate, /r/seduction

[–]f03nix 0 points1 point ago

Why did I not know of this before !!

[–]djdavidtaylor 13 points14 points ago

always use gloves.

[–]raisin_bran_in 6 points7 points ago

Protection is important.

[–]Frankiebeansbeans 5 points6 points ago

60% of the time, it works everytime.

[–]koalahhhhhh 1 point2 points ago

It works 100% of the time, every other time

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

[–]Hyperian 0 points1 point ago

Rule 1: Be Attractive.

[–]Athene_Wins 1 point2 points ago

What if they runs?

[–]hedonismbot89 1 point2 points ago

Then you're in for a game of "catch me if you can". An American Football Coach, named John Teerlink was famous/infamous for teaching his 300+lbs defensive linemen to change directions quickly by having them chase chickens. He did this because his team faced a Hall of Fame running back (Barry Sanders) twice a year.

[–]alrik94 1 point2 points ago

[–]korbonix 1 point2 points ago

That's my problem...I never wore the gloves...learn something new every day.

[–]bitwolfy 1 point2 points ago

These aren't the chicks you are looking for.

[–]lewko 1 point2 points ago

Chapter two: How to get laid.

Step one. Crawl up a chicken's ass.

[–]peterp4nda 1 point2 points ago*

But does it really work though? People are always claiming these fantastic new "fool proof" ways to pick up chicks but what if the chick says "no". Then what? You guna pick her up anyway? That is rape my friend, rape.chicken rape.

[–]Therealsebastiandior 0 points1 point ago

This is kind of a cute overload

[–]misappeal 0 points1 point ago

Humor level: Hallmark.

[–]Kashima 0 points1 point ago

Artist got game.

[–]Naughtyymonk 0 points1 point ago

Sad thing is people need step by step instructions, or the company is in fear of bring sued for not warning them that if they pick it up by it's head it might kill them:/

[–]yangx 0 points1 point ago

[–]KhoroziveCookie 0 points1 point ago

Ooh , i see what you did there!

[–]LPR23 0 points1 point ago

Well, isn't that super clever

[–]Jester00 0 points1 point ago

Make sure the hen isn't around when you pick up their chicks. They will attack you to defend their young.

[–]WonkaKnowsBest 0 points1 point ago

Not as easy as it seems!

[–]Mykasutra 0 points1 point ago

Can also work for Crow Crow.

[–]DiddlyDooDiddle 0 points1 point ago

i was like obviously, how else would you do it, and the i was like oh... lynx_rufus is right.

[–]ImRainwater 0 points1 point ago

If only it were that simple.

[–]ucdkwmiller 0 points1 point ago

They still always fly away

[–]tree_D 0 points1 point ago

Maybe there's a deeper meaning to this that I'm not getting...

[–]mctrigger 0 points1 point ago

the fuck does this get 1000 upvotes, reddit you are like babies who get amused by dangling keys.

[–]aaronrenoawesome 0 points1 point ago

Upvoted for making me think of dangling keys.

[–]Fredster1R 0 points1 point ago

You are the worst kind of scum ever! not only did you repost something, you reposted something that was posted less than 24 hours ago

[–]yablebab 0 points1 point ago

Now we just need a guide on how to sex chicks.

[–]EvilCartyen 0 points1 point ago

That's most definitely a wug.

[–]HoboJoe278 0 points1 point ago

Dumb

[–]Censored321 -1 points0 points ago

Shirt being made with this tomorrow. Pics inc.

[–]benzoidperoxide -1 points0 points ago

So...I'm going to upvote this repost just because it had a better title than the one I saw on here less than twenty four hours ago. Still, c'mon, man.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Pioneer_Of_Bravery -2 points-1 points ago

Original comment level: level: level.