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all 129 comments

[–]BeardKing 134 points135 points ago

[–]Wignasty 55 points56 points ago

I like the longer one.

[–]zomChomsky 113 points114 points ago

Thats what she said

[–]cmaxim 26 points27 points ago

NO MEANS NO!

[–]I_r_redditmans 9 points10 points ago

It's funny because all duck sex is rape.

[–]ConstipatedNinja 1 point2 points ago

That's not true. Just a ridiculous amount of it is.

[–]recneps100 0 points1 point ago

Have you ever seen a duck penis?

[–]fryrishluck 1 point2 points ago

I know what she is feeling. When I was 4 I was chased by a flock of ducks outside my lakeside home. Never leave a child with bread alone near ducks. They're vicious.

[–]Baby-Cheezus 2 points3 points ago

I was chased by a gaggle of geese ... close enough ? I'm not sure if they're in the same category as ducks . Edit:Spelling

[–]fryrishluck 0 points1 point ago

Geese are bigger than ducks, but they are both types waterfowl. So I vote that it is close enough.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]LNMagic 11 points12 points ago

Did you not notice she fell to the floor in this one?

[–]bearXential 1 point2 points ago

What did he say?

It kinda bugs me to see responses to "deleted" comments. Used to be able to "un-delete" and see those comments, but that changed for some reason. Why don't people just take it on the chin and grow balls, people need to own up to their stupid comments, and let others downvote it to oblivion.

[–]LNMagic 1 point2 points ago

He reprimanded the other guy for posting the same image. It's close, but BeardKing's gif has a bit more to it.

[–]LookMeInTheToes 72 points73 points ago

I wish there was an easier way to say "I laughed out loud" so i don't have to be writing this prolonged sentence to describe my instant reaction upon clicking on this link.

[–]jjswee 67 points68 points ago

You can use three letters in a combination. Dropping the 'I' and using the first letters of each word "L", "O" and "L" again, you can quickly describe your action of laughing out loud.

Here is a picture simulating what it would look like: LOL

You can even write it quicker by not using capital letters. "lol"

Want to add some more emotion to your text? Add a smiley face!

This is common practice today. Here is a history of the three letter combination: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/lol

[–]LookMeInTheToes 15 points16 points ago

This makes so much sense! Why I never... and here I was thinking I was on the verge of discovering something new; Gee wizz, thanks Mr.Swee!

[–]jjswee 9 points10 points ago

I try to help when I can!

[–]flclreddit 2 points3 points ago

The amount of sarcasm in this thread is actually sickening me a bit.

[–]iambubbaq 4 points5 points ago

I burst out laughing at this.... I feel like a fool lol

[–]elementninety3 4 points5 points ago

Good! You're already figuring it out!

[–]yangx 0 points1 point ago

How dare you utter the word that is not to be said, the horde is drawn to its essence. Pray that the downvotes do not take you.

[–]NoahhtheBanana 1 point2 points ago

Lol

[–]SirHobbes 0 points1 point ago

Lol

[–]Soulstoner 1 point2 points ago

I find I have to type "I laughed out loud" when it actually happens. LOL has lost all meaning with its over-use. IT SAVES NO TIME AT ALL NOW!

[–]atlas44[S] 1 point2 points ago

I use "IWRAWLOL", which is easier than actually writing "I would rather actually write laugh out loud".

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Annarr 16 points17 points ago

...Yeah. I can't imagine any man or woman being comfortable in such a situation. Unless they wanted to be felt up, having a random person touch- ...never mind.

Maybe I'm just sheltered.

[–]chobi83 8 points9 points ago

As sad as it is, if the person doing the feeling up were attractive enough, a lot of people wouldn't mind it.

[–]Fionnlagh 6 points7 points ago

I wouldn't complain much. It'd only be harassment if I didn't want it, I think.

[–]kitfox 2 points3 points ago

How is that in any way sad?

[–]made_your_day 0 points1 point ago

I'll remember that next time this happens. I wasn't aware that knocking women unconscious was encouraged.

Seriously, this whole men and women are equal thing goes a little too far sometimes.

[–]heavyss 8 points9 points ago

what movie is this from?

[–]leakybutts 9 points10 points ago

Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia

[–]FatCat433 3 points4 points ago

Is very good movie.

[–]johnparkhill 4 points5 points ago

This movie is a masterpiece, perfectly evocative.

[–]snowlion13 2 points3 points ago

can someone say why he did this?? men dont usually react this way. perhaps she was a spy?

[–]JayAche 4 points5 points ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrjSfi4xRVs Two government guys come into a Tijuana bar looking for a man. (Hit happens around 2:00 -- just watch for context)

[–]AngryByte 0 points1 point ago

Still lost.

[–]SonOfSatan 0 points1 point ago

Basically he's just a badass. But the girl had ulterior motives.

[–]something_highbrow -1 points0 points ago

Here you go

[–]leakybutts 4 points5 points ago

muchas gracias

[–]TH3_FORC3 25 points26 points ago

It's disturbing how nobody else at the table is fazed that this broad just ate an elbow that probably broke the sound barrier

[–]opposing_critter 0 points1 point ago

Rofl

[–]Your-Doing-It-Wrong 8 points9 points ago

Why does she keep grabbing his leg over and over? Clearly she's going to get hit!

[–]Mudface68 4 points5 points ago

Some folks just don't learn

[–]AntiCitizenJuan 57 points58 points ago

I would expect a girlfriend to react the same way if a dude was hitting on her, but most women dont seem to.

[–]GrayStudios 9 points10 points ago

We both expect it of each other. Obviously I'm not going to punch a woman in the face, but I'm not going to put up with sexual harassment just because I'm a guy.

[–]Daidra 12 points13 points ago

That wasn't even a punch, that was a solid elbow. He put his hips in it too.

[–]zolfe 3 points4 points ago

He should do MMA.

[–]fishkybuns 4 points5 points ago

I rarely put myself in situations where I'd be alone to be hit on. ...of course, I did the same thing when I was single. Back to the internet!

[–]HarmonyChains 11 points12 points ago

I do.

[–]imabadkitty 2 points3 points ago

So do I, but he doesn't.

[–]jhudson3 2 points3 points ago

As a guy, I try to do my best. I think girls think I hit on them a lot because I get nervous talking to people sometimes.

[–]imabadkitty 1 point2 points ago

I'm an awkward potato dating a womanizer. I think I know how you feel.

[–]AntiCitizenJuan 4 points5 points ago

That makes you one in a million then, dear.

[–]Confucius_says 8 points9 points ago

or a liar.

[–]Fionnlagh 0 points1 point ago

Occam's razor...

[–]cookiemountain18 27 points28 points ago

My ex loved getting hit on. And wanted me to react in the classic jealous boyfriend way. You're a grown woman you can deal with it. I'll come by give you a kiss and make it known she is taken and then keep an eye on her.

I'm not starting fights because you're a hot little 20 year old.

[–]Confucius_says 66 points67 points ago

the way you write about her it makes it sound like shes your daughter.

[–]FatCat433 36 points37 points ago

Didn't say she wasn't.

[–]Mazakaki 5 points6 points ago

Ah, the glory of the American South.

[–]usernamemadetoday 0 points1 point ago

Calm down now

[–]The_infinit3_ 1 point2 points ago

So true

[–]360walkaway 16 points17 points ago*

Happened to me at lunch today...

It was a nice day and all the tables outside were taken (except for a big table that would accommodate at least five people, but who wants to be that guy sitting alone at a big table) so I sat at a stone bench. This lady that I had never seen before was sitting by herself. She looked at me and said something like "hey you don't have to sit by yourself... you can sit here and eat with me if you want!"

I went into SAP mode on purpose and said "nah I'll be done in ten minutes, thanks though." I left my food on the bench and went back into the cafeteria for some napkins, and as I walked past her I was rubbing my hand so that she could clearly see my wedding ring (my lame attempt at "letting her down gently" instead of making her think I'd rather eat alone than with her).

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]FatCat433 7 points8 points ago

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]dbarts21 0 points1 point ago

My girlfriend tells guys she's gay with one of her friends to lose unwanted attention. I don't know why she does this because it just makes them say "Prove it"

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]dbarts21 0 points1 point ago

Right. That question is just so awkward and uncalled for to begin with

[–]Baby-Cheezus 0 points1 point ago

Telling people you're gay doesn't always work . They ask if they can try and turn you straight or if you're up for a threesome , then it just gets more awkward .

[–]Mikeaz123 5 points6 points ago

Man, married dudes get all the chicks. Or the guys who use wedding rings to sucker in women do too.

[–]360walkaway 3 points4 points ago

That's fucking brilliant. Wear a wedding ring and reel the chicks in.

[–]Mikeaz123 5 points6 points ago

I think it was the plot of an Adam sandler movie.

[–]FatCat433 1 point2 points ago

SEINFELD DID IT FIRST!

[–]360walkaway 0 points1 point ago

That was where he pretends to be separated from Jennifer Aniston to prove that he actually was married, otherwise the chick he's trying to get with will call him out on his BS.

[–]colourmeblue 2 points3 points ago

Reel in chicks who have no problem sleeping with a married man. Awesome!

[–]360walkaway 0 points1 point ago

They are the easiest, to be honest.

[–]MrClean75 0 points1 point ago

Got me a keeper!

[–]louky 0 points1 point ago

No, just a one night stand. You fuck those sluts, and split. (male or female.)

[–]the_real_xuth 0 points1 point ago

Maybe she was just interested in someone to talk with? Can't people take things at face value and not assume that if they're the opposite gender they must be trying to hit on you?

[–]360walkaway 0 points1 point ago

Don't want to risk it. Especially at work.

[–]pulgasarisaurus 3 points4 points ago

How unreasonable of her.

[–]charleyface 21 points22 points ago

Fuck, I'd love to see my boyfriend knock a bitch out.

[–]NinjaScenester 1 point2 points ago

Keep your hands off MY man, BITCH!

[–]wordsborrowed 2 points3 points ago

Laughed my ass off.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

I don't think that's being hit on..that's sexual assault.

[–]bird19 1 point2 points ago

I spent a good 30 seconds just watching that, and marveling at how very, very true it is.

[–]recyclinghomos 1 point2 points ago

If only

[–]amontes92 1 point2 points ago

she was getting hit on. cue crash cymbal!

[–]iloling 9 points10 points ago

HEY EVERYBODY THIS GUY HAS A GIRLFRIEND AND GETS HIT ON!

[–]osintra 3 points4 points ago*

why is it that girls go after you even more when you have a girlfriend?

[–]kharnn 3 points4 points ago

Because it means you're off limits, which puts the other girls in contention with said girlfriend. Happens to me at parties with my GF sometimes this one girl we know will be a stone cold bitch to my GF and then 30 seconds later come flirt with me. I just laugh at the girl and then head back to talking with my gf.

[–]atlas44[S] 4 points5 points ago

There's a scientific/biological explanation. Basically, a man who is already in a relationship is more desirable because he must have the qualities (emotional stability, economic security, etc.) that women want, otherwise his girlfriend wouldn't be with him. And I guess the fact that it's taboo/off-limits makes it exciting for some women.

[–]osxander -1 points0 points ago

I lol'd in the middle of class

[–]fishkybuns 0 points1 point ago

I think this is my favorite title with a .gif. Brava, good sir.

[–]cfmonkey45 0 points1 point ago

What film is this from?

[–]Deacon 0 points1 point ago

Well, Robert Webber and Gig Young were supposed to be playing a couple (of gay hitmen!) in that movie, so it's no surprise Webber's character . . . rebuffed her like that.

[–]LionDown 0 points1 point ago

I spit a little of my drink out on my laptop ಠ_ಠ... Thanks OP. Where is this from?

[–]TheJuBe 0 points1 point ago

Is that Gary Martin Hayes?

[–]mattydd 0 points1 point ago

What movie/tv show is this?

[–]the_real_xuth -4 points-3 points ago

Funny. My girlfriend wants (even expects) me to flirt with others and enjoys people flirting with me (and I expect nothing less of her). Things are much better this way IMHO.

[–]WaywardSpaniard 39 points40 points ago

I never understood this.

[–]TigerlilySmith 2 points3 points ago

It is odd and hard to explain but I also find it amusing when my bf gets hit on. It's kind of like, yeaa, my boyfriend still has it. He is in physical therapy school and he and his classmates have to learn on each other. So he comes home and tells me what they went over, which this semester involved some intense booty touching. The situations are amusing and it literally is for science! I also know the whole class so it's cool. Also he can get better service and free food sometimes so heck yea.

[–]simperingfool 1 point2 points ago

You see, people may become attracted to you eventhough you're in a non-poly relationship, or you may become attracted to someone who's is not your significant other. Some light flirting is a fun and, if everyone knows nothing is going to happen, perfectly healthy way to relieve some of that sexual tension: at least much moreso than shutting down and waddling away like a socially awkward penguin, or elbowing someone unconscious. Is it really that hard to understand?

[–]snowlion13 5 points6 points ago

im pretty secure with myself and husband, i dont mind i someone flirts with him. as long as no ones touching his junk or something too far

[–]PrimeIntellect 1 point2 points ago

My girlfriend is the same way and holy fucking crap you are right, it makes things just amazingly more simple. I used to have girlfriends that would flip their shit if I struck up a conversation with another girl, or something stupid like that. The girl I'm with now can watch me pretty blatantly flirt with girls at a bar, dance them up, and leave them hanging and then tell me that she thought that girl was hot. I think she almost likes watching me go for it haha. The funny part is it is easily by far the most honest and trusting relationship that I've been in, because the angry jealousy just isn't there, we can go out and do our own thing and not worry about it.

[–]Jesus_marley 3 points4 points ago

Like I always say, it doesn't matter where you get your appetite, as long as you come home for dinner.

[–]atlas44[S] 1 point2 points ago

What about necrophilia? I feel like that would end badly.

[–]Jesus_marley 1 point2 points ago

It does mean never having to say you're sorry though...

[–]Tokio13 -3 points-2 points ago

If I were in a relationship it would have to be openly flirty also.

I enjoy flirting as a mental sparring match. When I say something I am daring you to one up me or at least match me. If you can't, I win. If you do and I can't respond, you win. Then we laugh it off and each go our separate ways.

Its just some nice mental stimulation mixed in with some ego boosting flattery.

Although my version of flirting might be very different from others, its not quite as subtle and it is more obviously joking. There isn't real sexuality in it either, so I'm not trying to turn someone on. I'm just trying to out embarrass them.

[–]no_face 11 points12 points ago

There isn't real sexuality in it either, so I'm not trying to turn someone on.

Then its not flirting, its just interesting conversation or witty banter

[–]Mr_Sam_Squanch -2 points-1 points ago

Would be funny if you actually had a girlfriend

[–]atlas44[S] 0 points1 point ago

Why don't you have a girlfriend?

[–]Mr_Sam_Squanch 28 points29 points ago

[–]Mercades 6 points7 points ago

eww photobucket

[–]Lepicklez 7 points8 points ago

You narrowly escaped some hard downvotin' friend.

[–]Pythiasnipple 0 points1 point ago

Oh man, you guys are internet famous!

.... /s

[–]redkey42 0 points1 point ago

downvoted because photobucket failed.

[–]redkey42 0 points1 point ago

downvoted for stupid gif.

[–]sgtpppr -1 points0 points ago

The oozing acne and braces pretty much already does that.