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all 192 comments

[–]Kate_Lookout 28 points29 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

RIP George Zip.

[–]Chingchongmingwong 5 points6 points ago

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25 DOLLARS A CIGARETTE IS TOO MUCH!!

[–]rocketbootkid 0 points1 point ago

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Go out there and win just one for The Zipper.

[–]joanofbark 53 points54 points ago

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A hospital? What is it? It's a big building with a lot of patients in it, but that's not important right now.

[–]life_failure 25 points26 points ago

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the cockpit? what is it?

its the little room at the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but thats not important right now.

[–]REDDITONLYWHILEDRUNK 33 points34 points ago

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Reporter: What kind of plane is it?

Johnny: Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol!

[–]life_failure 114 points115 points ago

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the white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only.

dont give me that white zone shit againt, we both know what this is about, you want me to get the abortion.

[–]Varjaar 55 points56 points ago

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It's really the only sensible thing to do, if its done safely. Therapeutically there's no danger involved.

[–]Viking_Lordbeast 8 points9 points ago

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I picked a bad day to stop sniffing glue.

[–]life_failure 12 points13 points ago

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Varjaar, i think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

[–]Varjaar 9 points10 points ago

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I hope so! Although, to make it official we will need to perform an abortion together

[–]life_failure 10 points11 points ago

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if that is your custom, so it shall be.

[–]Varjaar 9 points10 points ago

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Quickly, fetch me your most pregnant teenager, your strongest bottle of liquor and your tallest steps; we have work to do!

[–]life_failure 5 points6 points ago

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simply open the bottle of liquor and the wild snooki should appear... we can abort the shit out of that!

[–]gigashadowwolf 0 points1 point ago

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Why downvotes?

[–]I_POTATO_PEOPLE 3 points4 points ago

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Because it is terrible

[–]gigashadowwolf 3 points4 points ago

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So say's the guy who POTATOES PEOPLE!

[–]life_failure 0 points1 point ago

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i dont know... i dont understand reddit sometime

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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KISS HIM

[–]Varjaar 38 points39 points ago*

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When do you think you'll be able to land this thing?

I can't say.

You can tell me, I'm a doctor.

No, I mean I'm just not sure!

[–]BrassMonkeyChunky 31 points32 points ago

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Can't you take a guess?

Well, not for another two hours.

You can't take a guess for another two hours?

[–]MBSquared 2 points3 points ago

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I know what I'm watching tonight. I've got the giggle-tears.

[–]life_failure 4 points5 points ago

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It will be at least 2 hours.

[–]Cyxd 4 points5 points ago

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You can tell me in 2 hours?

[–]Varjaar 30 points31 points ago

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Should we turn on the runway lights?

No, that's just what they'll be expecting us to do!

[–]sayheygiants 27 points28 points ago

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no one has mentioned the awesomeness of Johnny's one liners yet. I'll start

Weather report just came off the wire Chief

Johnny what do you make out of this?

This.. why i could make a hat, or a broche, or maybe a Pterodactyl

[–]Damasticator 32 points33 points ago

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Controller: Bad news. The fog's getting thicker.

Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger!

[–]prezjordan 1 point2 points ago

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I never understood this one.

[–]Damasticator 14 points15 points ago

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Leon was chubby.

[–]Varjaar 24 points25 points ago*

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Johnny, how about some coffee?

No, thanks!

[–]sovereignwaters 16 points17 points ago

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Where did you get that dress, it's awful, and those shoes and that coat, jeeeeez!

[–]TED_666 1 point2 points ago

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Twice does this occur in the movie.

[–]REDDITONLYWHILEDRUNK 12 points13 points ago

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To the tower! To the tower! Rapunzel, rapunzel!

[–]H_Morrisey_Caulfield 28 points29 points ago

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Oh stewardess! I speak jive.

[–]life_failure 13 points14 points ago

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cut me some slack, jack

[–]MBSquared 4 points5 points ago

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Chump don' want no help, chump don't get da' help!

[–]Apsis 6 points7 points ago

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My momma didn't raise me no dummy. I dug her rap.

[–]punkwalrus 0 points1 point ago

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I have this Jive remix on my iTunes rotation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52dQ1r7bLOI

"Cutty say he can't hang..."

[–]H_Morrisey_Caulfield 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking. Brilliant.

[–]ronswansong 27 points28 points ago

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"Cream?" "No thank you, I take my coffee black. Like my men."

[–]newersdk 6 points7 points ago

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[–]SvenHudson 5 points6 points ago

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That line is not funny out of context.

[–]life_failure 65 points66 points ago

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ok... i literally watched airplane last night for the first time in years...

reddit creeps me out sometimes!

looks like i picked the wrong week to quit sniffin' glue.

[–]Varjaar 33 points34 points ago

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Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines

[–]smartdonkey66 3 points4 points ago

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Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit gulpin' hand sanitizer.

[–]Streakiest 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit alcoholism, reconnect with my estranged family and get my life back on track.

[–]Varjaar 3 points4 points ago

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Wrong website too!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like I picked the wrong week.

[–]relder17 9 points10 points ago

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Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit horse tranquilizers.

[–]thrublinds 16 points17 points ago

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I figuratively watched it last night, which was fun, but will literally watch it tonight.

[–]Skinnj 1 point2 points ago

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[–]TheHalfbadger 0 points1 point ago

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Don't worry. There's an Airplane scene up here every day.

[–]WeJustFixedTheGlitch 18 points19 points ago

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Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

[–]Varjaar 15 points16 points ago

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You ever spend any time in a Turkish prison, Joey?

[–]Trippledo 15 points16 points ago

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You ever seen a grown man naked?

[–]Siegy 2 points3 points ago

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They could never get away with that today! The censors would be all over them!
I grew up in simpler times.

[–]guytoronto 0 points1 point ago

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Really?

American Pie, Lolita, Old School, American Beauty, and The Big Lebowski would beg to differ.

[–]Siegy 0 points1 point ago

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I own two of those movies; I'll watch one of them tomorrow and see if you're right and because they are funny movies.

[–]Seife 9 points10 points ago

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I love the humor of that movie, so much.

[–]ColloquialInternet 16 points17 points ago

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The whole premise of this movie was based off of a one-sentence pitch that no two people should know the context of what the other was saying. Hence why there are so many lines like "A Hospital, what is it? It is a big building with doctors and sick people inside, but that's not important right now!"

[–]guytoronto 0 points1 point ago

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Airplane! is a parody based on the movie Zero Hour! which is based on the Canadian made-for-tv movie Flight into Danger.

While the comedy style may be based on the premise that "that no two people should know the context of what the other was saying", the whole premise of the movie was by no means "based off a one-sentence pitch". The premise was to spoof airplane disaster movies.

[–]Varjaar 0 points1 point ago

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Once again Canada tries to take the credit for another good ol' American invention! Go back to your frigid wasteland!

[–]Kate_Lookout 1 point2 points ago

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Say what you will about Canada, but this guy is a Canadian hero.

[–]Varjaar 0 points1 point ago

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You make an excellent argument, sir. I concede.

[–]nightfan 8 points9 points ago

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This movie has the most puns per word spoken... ever.

[–]FFUUUUU 22 points23 points ago

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I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

[–]Not_Shirley 6 points7 points ago

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If anyone calls me Shirley, the shit's gonna hit the fan.

[–]gigashadowwolf 7 points8 points ago

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[–]I_POTATO_PEOPLE 15 points16 points ago*

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I am only upvoting this repost so that we can expose the next generation to the miracle that is Airplane.

[–]clynch96[!] 22 points23 points ago

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BEST MOVIE EVER

[–]TostaMista 11 points12 points ago

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Ever since then, I've had a drinking problem.

[–]uselesspeople 6 points7 points ago

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He needs to stop telling people about his problems, he killed an innocent old lady.

[–]Kruse 6 points7 points ago

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Surely you can't be serious.

[–]Patius 5 points6 points ago

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Ted Striker: Mayday! Mayday!

Steve McCroskey: What the heck is that?

Johnny: Why, that's the Russian New Year. We can have a parade and serve hot hors d'oeuvres...

[–]idrumlots 20 points21 points ago

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Posted. First time? No, I've been posted lots of times.

[–]Varjaar 10 points11 points ago

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One can never have enough Airplane nostalgia!

[–]DiscoXDino 5 points6 points ago

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I asked my Dad what this was from. Turns out Airplane is one of his favorite movies. So, guess what I'm watching xD.

[–]Varjaar 8 points9 points ago

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300

[–]DiscoXDino 2 points3 points ago

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Yes! How did you know? n.n

[–]jc33 25 points26 points ago

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Just watched airplane last week, quite the knee slapper

[–]XaosZaleski 20 points21 points ago

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Surely, you slapped your knee bountifully.

[–]Varjaar 32 points33 points ago

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Don't call me Shirley!

[–]Not_Shirley 18 points19 points ago

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Here we go again.

[–]mime454 2 points3 points ago

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I'm on reddit, so I have no life... To Netflix to see if they have this movie for streaming!

[–]jbredditor 2 points3 points ago

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Nope. Just the sequel.

[–]Whitezombie65 5 points6 points ago

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that's the dumbest thing i've heard all week

[–]jbredditor 2 points3 points ago

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Dude I wish it weren't the case. But all they've got on watch instantly is Airplane II: The Sequel. Or at least that was the case like 2 weeks ago when I last tried to watch it.

[–]Whitezombie65 1 point2 points ago

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That's ok, at least they have jeff dunham and carlos mencia streaming! /s

[–]Skinnj 5 points6 points ago

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Oh and by the way... RIP Leslie Nielsen you funny son of a bitch!

[–]Mrkcar 9 points10 points ago

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The red zone is for loading and unloading only.

[–]MpegEVIL 7 points8 points ago

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The white zone has always been for loading and unloading only. No parking in the white zone.

[–]Mrkcar 0 points1 point ago

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Line?

[–]finkalicious 6 points7 points ago

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Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

[–]willneu97 3 points4 points ago

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Airplane! is my favorite movie of all time.

[–]SgtOddball 2 points3 points ago

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I really miss these kinds of movies.

[–]strawberrylove88 2 points3 points ago

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And that, as much as anything else, led to my drinking problem. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl4plPGRG8o&feature=youtube_gdata_player

[–]Varjaar 0 points1 point ago

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Literally the best bit of the whole film!

[–]cft4nh 3 points4 points ago

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I love how i watched Airplane for the first time in years this morning and get on reddit this afternoon to see a shit ton of quotes

[–]punkwalrus 3 points4 points ago

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I remember seeing this in the theater when it came out; during the scene where Robert Stack just starts beating those canvassers in the airport terminal, people in the audience stood up and cheered.

We HATED those people. I wonder what finally got rid of them? Young people today don't know what it was like in the 70s; you couldn't go anywhere in LAX without being accosted by some "faux-Hindu guru du'jour."

[–]HerrShaun 6 points7 points ago

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How soon can we land?

[–]Varjaar 5 points6 points ago

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I can't say

[–]HerrShaun 6 points7 points ago

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You can tell me, I'm a doctor.

[–]Varjaar 5 points6 points ago*

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No, I mean I'm just not sure!

[–]codemunkeh 7 points8 points ago

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Well can't you take a guess?

[–]Varjaar 4 points5 points ago

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Well, not for another two hours.

[–]Whitezombie65 2 points3 points ago

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You can't take a guess for another two hours?

[–]Chingchongmingwong 3 points4 points ago

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Not for another 2 hours.

[–]Varjaar 9 points10 points ago

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You can't guess for another 2 hours?

[–]bandnerd96 5 points6 points ago

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It's a pity you two don't get along. She's lovely! And a darling figure! Nice, supple breasts, soft, firm thighs...

[–]Varjaar 7 points8 points ago

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What kind of plane is it?

Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol.

[–]wearsredsox 12 points13 points ago

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My sister misremembered this line and thought it said aspirin instead of tylenol. She couldn't remember the word for airplane on a Spanish final but thought, "oh, aspirin=aspiradora (sp?)." Thus, my sister rode to Spain on a vacuum cleaner. Her teacher retold that story for years until he was arrested for soliciting a minor. Good times.

[–]Varjaar 4 points5 points ago

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lol surprise ending!

[–]wearsredsox 2 points3 points ago

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That's what they said to him when the "kid" turned out to be an undercover cop.

[–]haev 1 point2 points ago

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Directed by Stephen Spielberg.

[–]Varjaar 2 points3 points ago

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NOPE, Directed by M Knight Shamalamadingdong

[–]haev 2 points3 points ago

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Shit, I'm doing it wrong.

[–]Major_Tom42 6 points7 points ago

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I flew single engine fighters in the Air Force, but this plane has four engines. It's an entirely different kind of flying, altogether.

[–]mrjimi16 5 points6 points ago

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its an entirely different kind of flying

[–]life_failure 8 points9 points ago

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its an entirely different kind of flying.

[–]mrjimi16 -1 points0 points ago

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I don't think the one guy that downvoted you got that joke. Or perhaps you did unintentionally double post?

[–]life_failure 7 points8 points ago

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its an entirely different kind of flying.

[–]buttplugpeddler 7 points8 points ago

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Jive ass fool ain't got no brains anyhow.

[–]Varjaar 8 points9 points ago

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Jack don't want no help, jack don't get no help

[–]Major_Tom42 6 points7 points ago

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Jive ass dude don't got no brains anyhow! Shiiiiit.

[–]gdstudios 2 points3 points ago

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[Golly!]

[–]herpty_derpty 2 points3 points ago

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He thinks he's Ethel Merman.

[–]MpegEVIL 2 points3 points ago

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This is one of my favorite movies of all time.

[–]slap_shot_12 2 points3 points ago

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Roger, Roger.

Over, Under.

[–]HaiTharVin 1 point2 points ago

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What's our vector Victor.

Roger, Roger

[–]NikaroDLinnea 2 points3 points ago

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"S-Surely you can't be serious." "I am. And stop calling me Shirley."

[–]WonderKnight 2 points3 points ago

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"[F]irst time, kinda nervous about this."

[–]deadbears 8 points9 points ago

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why don't you just post all the jokes from the whole movie on reddit... jesus

[–]Varjaar 10 points11 points ago

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I was just posting my favourites... which happens to be all of it so...

[–]MBSquared 2 points3 points ago

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Someone's no fun.

[–]AMostOriginalUserNam 4 points5 points ago

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One at a time. More karma that way.

[–]Th3pinkrabbit 4 points5 points ago

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No matter how many times this gets reposted. I always upvote!

[–]ThatGuyRememberMe 1 point2 points ago

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That movie scared me a little bit more than it should have.

[–]MpegEVIL 1 point2 points ago

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Hey Larry! Where's the forklift?

Oh, it's over there...

[–]jazz_is_the_truth 1 point2 points ago

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Would you like a little whiskey, ma'am?

[–]polkadottree 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit Amphetamines.

[–]rhysert 1 point2 points ago

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Roger that. Huh?

[–]KannaBanana 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try OP. He's just trying to get everyone to participate in the tea cup and coffee mug exchange the next time it comes around.

[–]Buttflapp 1 point2 points ago

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I like my coffee black...... like my men.

[–]superawesomeq 1 point2 points ago

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Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

[–]ManBearPig92 1 point2 points ago

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Roger Roger, we have clearance Clarance, what's my vector Victor?

[–]damn_it_so_much 1 point2 points ago

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Over, Oveur.

[–]therealabefrohman 3 points4 points ago

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I am watching Airplane! right now. I almost had a heart attack- guess what part I was watching when I clicked on this link?

[–]UserlessInterface 17 points18 points ago

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I just want say; Good luck, we're all counting on you

[–]Varjaar 12 points13 points ago

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I just want say; Good luck, we're all counting on you

[–]Varjaar 6 points7 points ago

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Imma vote for: The part where she blows up the auto pilot

[–]MBSquared 1 point2 points ago

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Surely you can't be serious.

[–]therealabefrohman 1 point2 points ago

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I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

[–]fishbowlio 2 points3 points ago

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We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, Roger. What's our vector Victor?

[–]MBSquared 1 point2 points ago

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Over under.

[–]strawberrylove88 2 points3 points ago

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We have clearance, Clarence. Roger, roger. What's our vector, Victor?

[–]khatche5 0 points1 point ago

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i see this on the front page at least once a month submitted by someone else

[–]Varjaar 9 points10 points ago

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Which is not nearly often enough!

[–]Varjaar 2 points3 points ago

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You ever spend any time in a Turkish prison, Jimmy?

[–]KyleW17 10 points11 points ago

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You ever seen a grown man naked?

[–]neg8ivezero 1 point2 points ago

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First time this exact pic has made it on the front page? Nope its been there lots of times.

[–]vogonpoetry42 0 points1 point ago

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I love this movie, however, I hate it when people take screen shots of things from movies or TV shows and simply put in the actual dialogue for karma. It's not creative at all. For that, you merit not a downvote, not an upvote, but this comment. Do a better job next time, please.

[–]raegunXD 0 points1 point ago

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That's my friend's dad.

[–]Eldritchsense 0 points1 point ago

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I know who this is and where it's from, but jeebus does he look like Viggo Mortensen in that second frame.

[–]southpaw0727 0 points1 point ago

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Best Movie Ever!

[–]HaiTharVin 0 points1 point ago

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This man needs a hospital

[–]Irishactuary 0 points1 point ago

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You could literally make a comic out of every joke in any of the aeroplanes and get ∞ karma

[–]blog_farts 0 points1 point ago

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REPOST

nah, im kidd its OC

[–]SConnelly53 0 points1 point ago

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There are an endless amount of quotes from this movie. A classic!

[–]Kbear52 0 points1 point ago

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Um is there anyone on here who knows how to fly a plane?

[–]calldom 0 points1 point ago

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FUN FACT: where I am from, this movie was called flying high, and once I encountered people talking about it on the internets,i questioned all reality..

[–]Upvotesgoodshit 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I guess if nobody else isn't gonna say it: REPOST! (Yeah I know they mentioned it before but they were so darn NICE about it. We supposed to get madbullz, no?)

[–]Taylor645 0 points1 point ago

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What the hell is this? First off, It sure is original to post a clip of Airplane, I'm sure most people on reddit have never heard of that. and then second, What is up with all the comments just being quotes from the movie? I'm confused as to what is happening. I guess sometimes reddit just goes through weird phases.

[–]BoojiBoy 2 points3 points ago

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It's rare that I have been with ANY group of people that won't start quoting this movie incessantly upon mention of it. The Big Lebowski has a similar effect, but it isn't quite as widespread yet.

[–]sinocarD44 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck it, Dude, let's go bowling.

[–]Taylor645 0 points1 point ago

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It just really surprised me. Almost the top like, 50 comments were just that. Normally it's a mixture of commenting on the movie or something about it and the quoting, this just really threw me off.

[–]gnfnrs85 -1 points0 points ago

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I like my coffee black...like my men.

[–]SilverTorch -1 points0 points ago

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I like how you stole a joke from a funny movie because you aren't funny enough to make OC

[–]sjhaakie -5 points-4 points ago

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Why does a joke from 1980 get all the upvotes? the fuck reddit Proof

[–]glovesoff11 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah seriously. This should've been posted on reddit in 1980

[–]animal113 3 points4 points ago

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Ummm because it is funny.................