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1586
1587

Sting, this is dog (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Bennetts_Cousin

top 200 commentsshow all 318
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[–]awertz23 152 points153 points ago

I feel like this is missing a line.

[–]davidlazlo 152 points153 points ago

It is, and its driving me absolutely crazy. Anyway, here's my attempt to fix it:

Every snack you make

Every meal you bake

Every bite you take

Every fast you break

I'll be watching you

[–]Twisted_Logic 131 points132 points ago

Every slice of cake

[–]LessLikeYou 36 points37 points ago

Oh can't you see?

Your food is meant for me,

How my dog tongue aches,

For every snack you make.

[–]neropegasus 22 points23 points ago

Every move you make

Every ball you take

Every throw you fake

Every night of steak

I'll be watching you

[–]TeCuervo 9 points10 points ago

Since you've baked I've been starved without a bone
I dream at night I can feed myself alone
I look around but it's food I just can't clone
I feel so hungry I long for your wishbone
I keep crying baby, baby feed

[–]VengefulOctopus 1 point2 points ago

I need to cover this now.>Since you've baked I've been starved without a bone I dream at night I can feed myself alone I look around but it's food I just can't clone I feel so hungry I long for your wishbone I keep crying baby, baby feed

[–]j33ratr0me 0 points1 point ago

I'm lovin this shit

[–]cunt_stamp 34 points35 points ago

I was going to say "From flake to flake" or "Every cake or steak"

[–]CaptainTrips 28 points29 points ago

I like every cake or steak. Thank you, cunt_stamp.

[–]ProcrastinatingNomad 0 points1 point ago

Agreed.

load more comments (1 reply)

    [–]Tenstone 5 points6 points ago

    http://i.imgur.com/RQakx.png

    [–]DaGetz 0 points1 point ago

    That's quite the username

    [–]Joe-ologist 1 point2 points ago

    • Have a bun, or a scone or slice o' cake!
    • Never mind, go and cook me up some steak!
    • I like it rare so you better make no mistake!
    • It's overcooked, oh well, go make pasta bake!
    • Almost finished just grate some, grate some CHEEEEESE!

    [–]VengefulOctopus 1 point2 points ago

    Upvotes.

    [–]mjolnir616 0 points1 point ago

    I was thinking 'Every single steak' as the third line.

    load more comments (2 replies)

      [–]root66 0 points1 point ago

      Thank you.

      load more comments (2 replies)

        [–]bellarogue 104 points105 points ago

        "You WILL give me that bite...No? Ok. You will give me THAT bi... Oh, I bet you'll give me this one and....No? Ok." Repeat x 100

        [–]All_The_Memes 53 points54 points ago

        Either that, or this will happen:

        http://i.imgur.com/Gf1g8.gif

        [–]Nokel 50 points51 points ago

        How is that dog not fat? He's eaten over 20 treats since I started watching this!

        [–]timmmmmm 60 points61 points ago

        http://i.imgur.com/YUfH8.gif

        [–]Threedawg 34 points35 points ago

        Why is he still stirring it??? He has done it 20 times since I started watching it!

        [–]IGnCI 24 points25 points ago

        You realize you had the same problem, Three Dog? You spun the same 6 or 7 songs on repeat across the Capital Wasteland.

        [–]VonKressenstein 4 points5 points ago

        I'll upvote you all the way to Point Lookout!

        [–]Abnormalizo 0 points1 point ago

        I'll upvote all the way to mothership zeta.

        [–]Deggit 4 points5 points ago

        I bet I could stir 100 drinks.

        [–]Willie_Main 2 points3 points ago

        no way, dude.

        [–]honor646 2 points3 points ago

        Don't worry if you can't stir 100 drinks just yet. With my 2 week training program anyone can stir 100 drinks easily.

        [–]GenghisChron 0 points1 point ago

        Question: I always heard that you're not supposed to stir White Russians. Am I a fool?

        [–]not_thecookiemonster 0 points1 point ago

        They won't be as frothy & delicious/

        [–]Rightside 0 points1 point ago

        I'm not a bartender, but my advice follows thusly: It depends who it's for. Some enjoy letting the milk mix in on it's own, so as to enjoy the splash effect of the milk agains the ratio of liqueurs seen fit to pour. Others still may prefer the consistent taste and colour of a stirred, or even shaken, White Russian. Others, wish you would pour the drink and keep trap shut. Use personal judgement and let it all happen.

        Edit: To make clear, I dont think you're a fool

        [–]BreakingGood 0 points1 point ago

        I still wish cinematographs had the file suffix .cin

        [–]chucktestlacoil 8 points9 points ago

        IIRC this is a scene where an entire litter of pups does this at homer's expense.

        [–]MidwestDrummer 3 points4 points ago

        Whoosh!

        [–]Jeeraph 2 points3 points ago

        Fat doesn't form in a day. Watch it for a few weeks and the dog gets fatter. Also, the dog is fat.

        [–]paholg 2 points3 points ago

        There's like a hundred of them. Mr. Burns wanted to turn them all into a vest or some such.

        [–]calico_cat 4 points5 points ago

        "But a greyhound fur tuxedo will be best..."

        :)

        load more comments (4 replies)

          [–]Forgototherpassword 1 point2 points ago

          I just woke from a dream where me and a few people were riding around and passed a cemetary where a guard dog started barking and ran after us. The dumbass in the passenger seat left his arm out the window so the dog tore it up. Someone suddenly had a gun and killed the dog. We stopped, and as the guy died of blood loss, Zombies started running up to us and attacking the other people. I jumped in the car yelling for them to get in but they were in shock. I took off, running down zombies. As I approached a hill a bunch of zombies flooded off a side street like one of those tsunami videos in the direction I was going. As I crested the hill my perspective left the car and panned back watching it dissapear into the flood.

          This isn't a lame attempt at a zombie scene. This was my actual lame dream.

          TLDR- don't eat pizza rolls, cookies, and drink tea before bed.

          [–]DoILikeThisComment 2 points3 points ago

          Yes

          [–][deleted] ago

          [deleted]

          [–]drunk_otter 245 points246 points ago

          Look - it's a Police dog.

          [–]MSkog 21 points22 points ago*

          Does everyone stare at every breath you take like every little thing she does is magic, or are you just so lonely, Dog? Don't worry: I can't stand losing you because the bed's too big without you, without being next to you, and I might fall out. On any other day we might take our secret journey to mother's...okay, okay, we'll go on a walk, just don't stand so close to me this time! It's harder to walk you sometimes than walking on the moon.

          [–]sweetteaandwhiskey 1 point2 points ago

          As the only Police fan. I want to thank you for that.

          [–]mouseknuckle 2 points3 points ago*

          Pretty sure you're not the only fan of the biggest band of the 80s.

          edit: that might have sounded dickish, but it wasn't intended to be. Anyway, who doesn't like Synchronicity?

          [–]MSkog 1 point2 points ago

          Was it alright for you?

          Okay, okay, I'm done. For real. De do do do, de da da da. Yep.

          [–]random_potatoes 0 points1 point ago

          When you're walking on the (dark side of the) moon with Roxanne throwing messages in bottles at the King of Pain, there's an invisible sun.

          [–]Bennetts_Cousin[S] 28 points29 points ago

          I see what you did there. Bravo!

          [–][deleted] 32 points33 points ago

          Lost dog?

          [–]epic_comebacks 36 points37 points ago*

                                      ,._ 
                   ,--.    |   `-. 
                ,-'    \   :      `-. 
               /__,.    \  ;  `--.___) 
              ,'    \    \/   /       ,-"`. 
                 __,-' - /   '\      '   ,' 
              ,-'              `-._ ,---^. 
              \   ,                `-|    | 
               \,(o                  ;    | 
           _,-'   `-'                |    | 
        ,-'                          |    | 
    Y8PYF                            ;    ; 
    `"" `           ,         ,--   /    : 
     \      .   ___/|       ,'\   ,' ,'  ; 
      `.     ;-' ___|     ,'  |\   ,'   / 
        `---'  __\ /    ,'    | `-'   ,' 
  ,-           \ ,'   ,'      `--.__,' 
,'     ,-'     ,'    / 
     ,'  ,     `----'    Police Dog 
       ,' 
      ( 
       `

          Oh ya make this my most controversial post

          [–]Dave_ 7 points8 points ago*

          I sent my regards to your family.

          Edit: He edited to make me look stupid. It worked.

          [–]MJ13 4 points5 points ago

          What is that supposed to be?

          [–][deleted] ago

          [deleted]

          [–]epic_comebacks 8 points9 points ago

          Y8PYF its part of my activation code for windows. I've installed my os too often.

          [–]pseudolobster 39 points40 points ago*

          If that's true, it's pretty remarkable.  do.  
That piece of ascii art comes from the  :NOX  
same site as this dog right here.      ,NOM@:  
                                       :NNNN:  
Actually, come to think of it, why     :XXXON  
didn't you use this one instead?       :XoXXX.  
                                       MM;ONO:  
  .oob..    I mean really, come on,   :MMO;MOM  
 dXOXYYNNb.   This one is so much    ,NNMX:MXN  
 Mo"'  '':Nbb      cooler, don't     dNMMN MNN:  
 Mo  'O;; ':Mb.       you think?    ,MXMNM MNX:  
 @O :;XXMN..'X@b.                  ,NXOMXM MNX:  
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 'MOONM@@@MMN:':NONb.            ,dXONM@@MbMXX:  
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    `MO.'NMNXXN@@N: 'XXM@NMMXXMM@M@XO"'"XM@X;.  :b  
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    'N@@X;,M@MXOOM@OOON@MM@MXOO:":ONMNXXOXX:OOO               ""ob.  
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:Y@MX:.  oO@M@NOXN@NO. ..: ,;;O;.       :.OX@@MOO;..   .OOMNMO.;XN@M@P  
,MP"OO'  oO@M@O:ON@MO;;XO;:OXMNOO;.  ,.;.;OXXN@MNXO;.. oOX@NMMN@@@@@M:  
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  ;O:OXM@MNOOO.   'OXOONM@MNNMMXON@MM@@b. 'Y@@@@@@@@@@@@@M@@MP"'"  
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 :: ;"OOOOOO@N;:  'ON@MO.'":""OOOO@@NNMN@@@. Y@@@MMM@@@@b  
 :;   ':O:oX@@O;;  ;O@@XO'   "oOOOOXMMNMNNN@MN""YMNMMM@@MMo.  
 :N:.   ''oOM@NMo.::OX@NOOo.  ;OOOXXNNNMMMNXNM@bd@MNNMMM@MM@bb  
  @;O .  ,OOO@@@MX;;ON@NOOO.. ' ':OXN@NNN@@@@@M@@@@MNXNMM@MMM@,  
  M@O;;  :O:OX@@M@NXXOM@NOO:;;:,;;ON@NNNMM'`"@@M@@@@@MXNMMMMM@N  
  N@NOO;:oO;O:NMMM@M@OO@NOO;O;oOOXN@NNM@@'   `Y@NM@@@@MMNNMM@MM  
  ::@MOO;oO:::OXNM@@MXOM@OOOOOOXNMMNNNMNP      ""MNNM@@@MMMM@MP  
    @@@XOOO':::OOXXMNOO@@OOOOXNN@NNNNNNNN        '`YMM@@@MMM@P'  
    MM@@M:'''' O:":ONOO@MNOOOOXM@NM@NNN@P  -hrr-     "`"""MM'  
    ''MM@:     "' 'OOONMOYOOOOO@MM@MNNM"  
      YM@'         :OOMN: :OOOO@MMNOXM'  
      `:P           :oP''  "'OOM@NXNM'  
       `'                    ':OXNP' 
                               '"'

          Edit: Screenshot for those of you on low res mobile devices

          [–]Blink_ 13 points14 points ago

          Alien Blue anyone?

          [–]epic_comebacks 42 points43 points ago

                   A__A
        //..\\
       ////@\\\  ____
       ////U\\\ //.\\\
        ////\\\////@\\\
       //////\\\\\\U///
       /////\\\\////\\\

          I disagree.

          [–]KingToasty 11 points12 points ago

          'x--x

          It's a dog. I can art!

          [–]coldmoonrisen 0 points1 point ago

          View this comment through Reddit is Fun makes it look really creepy.

          [–]ithrowitontheground 2 points3 points ago

          Yeah, looking at these on my phone is useless.

          [–]thisisnotthought 31 points32 points ago

          \:.,:::/;/ -:.                   `  | `     `-. 
 \:::,'//__.;  ,;  ,  ,  :.`-.   :. |  ;       :. 
  \,',';/O)^. :'  ;  :   '__` `  :::`.       .:' ) 
  |,'  |\__,: ;      ;  '/O)`.   :::`;       ' ,' 
       |`--''            \__,' , ::::(       ,' 
       `    ,            `--' ,: :::,'\   ,-' 
        | ,;         ,    ,::'  ,:::   |,' 
        |,:        .(          ,:::|   ` 
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       ,',' `-' \   `.      ,:::/,:| 
      | : _  _   |   '     ,::,' ::: 
      | \ O`'O  ,',   ,    :,'   ;:: 
       \ `-'`--',:' ,' , ,,'      :: 
        ``:.:.__   ',-','        ::' 
         `--.__, ,::.         ::' 
               |:  ::::.       ::' 
               |:  ::::::    ,::'

          [–]SoGnar92 2 points3 points ago

          http://i.imgur.com/8KOKV.jpg

          [–]GenKan 0 points1 point ago

          its santa's little helper right?

          [–]ConstipatedNinja 5 points6 points ago

                     -:://::-`                              
        -/o+++++++++:            `.--.            
      .+++++++++++++o.`.---```./+o+++++/`         
      /++++//+oo++++oso++++ooooo+++++++++-        
             /++++++s++++++++++ooo++++o++o-       
             ++++++oo+++++o++++++so:.`.:++/       
             ++++oso/:----/+++++++o/     `        
            .+oooo+.    `  `:/.` .-:.             
           `o+++++-    `.    :    - `.            
           +++++++/         ..    . `-            
          :o+++++++/-.````.:+:.````..             
         -o++++++++++++++++++++++++o              
        -o+++++++++++++++++++++++++o:             
      ./++o++::+++++++++++++++++++++o.            
    ./++++o-``.`.:o++++++++++++++++++o-           
`.-/++++++++-.  `..-+o+++++++++++++++++:`         
+++++++++++++/--` `...:o+++++++++++++++++-        
++++++++++++++++/::..-.`.:+o++++++++++++++o:`     
+++++++++++++++++++++:    `.:+o+++++++++ydddhhs:  
+++++++++++++++++++-.         `.:/+o++++dddddddd- 
+++++++++++++++++/                 `.--::+yhhhy+  
++++++++++++++++o                                 
+++++++++++++++o.

          This is Santa's Little Helper.

          [–]GenKan 0 points1 point ago

          WOW... :| very nice

          [–]PemCorgiSelphie 0 points1 point ago

          this is almost like dog of disapproval

          load more comments (6 replies)

            [–]MSkog 1 point2 points ago

            The italics originally said "Downvotes feed my family," to give some context to a reply and the voting ratio on it.

            [–]Edgar4llanPwn 0 points1 point ago

            Not sure if terrible drawing, or if AlienBlue's formatting is screwy

            load more comments (6 replies)

              load more comments (13 replies)

                [–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

                "There's a little black dog on the couch todaaaaaaaaay"

                [–]WildSuperior 15 points16 points ago

                So true. Try having a 160lbs saint Bernard being a creeper in everything you eat. It's actually the best but super hard to ignore... Don't mind me... I'm just an inch away from what your eating sniffing it and licking my chops...

                [–]Back_Paragraphs 1 point2 points ago

                The worst is when they're panting so hard next to you that you smell their dog breath now instead of your food. Maybe it's a tactic to make you give up on eating.

                load more comments (15 replies)

                  [–]Scuttlebutt91 21 points22 points ago

                  And if you look away, it's mine. Even if your attention wavers for a split second, it's mine.

                  [–]silenc3x 51 points52 points ago

                  http://curv.net/lulz/1232008391_215_47faa73478508.gif

                  [–]imamidget 15 points16 points ago

                  I usually dislike seagulls because they're just annoying as fuck, but this one is pretty awesome.

                  [–]silenc3x 4 points5 points ago

                  agreed... same with pigeons. they haven't won me over yet though.

                  [–]cohrt 1 point2 points ago

                  they're funny to watch at the beach though.

                  [–]Solonik 1 point2 points ago

                  Oh my god my new dog is a warrior in this regard, you cannot leave food unattended in any manner whatsoever or she will joy rage all over it. Last time my cousin chased her down because she was running around the house with a foot long sopresetta with the cutting knife still inside it.

                  [–]Dunabu 4 points5 points ago

                  Having a staring contest with a dog is fun. Whoever looks away first is the beta.

                  If your dog is staring at you while you're eating, stare right back and chew slowly.

                  [–]Bennetts_Cousin[S] 7 points8 points ago

                  In my house this guy is the beta!

                  [–]Fartmatic 0 points1 point ago

                  I just tried it with my cat, she got distracted by a noise outside and lost.

                  [–]Edgar4llanPwn 5 points6 points ago*

                  With every single day. And every dish sautéed.
                  Every breakfast you make, when that bacon smells great,
                  I'll be watching you.
                  ...............
                  Every bite you take. Every Kit-Kat you break.
                  Every steak you bake. All the popcorn you make.
                  I'll be watching you.
                  ...............
                  Since I was born, I've crunched kernels with sawdust taste.
                  I dream at night I could only lick your plate.
                  I hope one day that for me, a meal you'll make.
                  I smell roast beef and I long for just one plate.
                  ...............

                  I keep whining, Bennetts_Cousin, please!
                  ...............
                  Oh can't you see?
                  That food belongs to me.
                  How my stomach aches,
                  With every meal you make

                  [–]silvercity21 59 points60 points ago

                  fucking.... comic sans?

                  [–]psboardman 28 points29 points ago

                  dogs think in comic sans. this is why they often come off as overexcited, unnaturally happy, and unprofessional.

                  [–]dudeabides86 39 points40 points ago

                  It's used properly?

                  [–]patiscool1 34 points35 points ago

                  Comic Sans is a childish and cartoony (possibly even comic) font. This is a childish, and cartoony (possibly even comic) image. People are still going to comment. Nobody comments when people misuse Times New Roman, or any other font.

                  People blindly hate on comic sans because that's all they know.

                  [–]Celebrimbor333 2 points3 points ago

                  People blindly hate on comic sans because that's all they know.

                  I agree, but comic sans actually does suck, even as fonts go. The kerning (space between letters) sucks--this is a very big problem, especially if children (new learners) are forced to read this typeface which isn't constant. Additionally, why even use comic sans anymore? It's got a terrible rep, doesn't look great anyway, so why?

                  It's like the Hitler-stache of fonts: good in one case (Chaplin! not Hitler), but terrible and despised in all others.

                  [–]BillyTenderness 14 points15 points ago

                  Alternatively, there are two problems with Comic Sans:

                  1. It is widely used in situations for which it is wildly inappropriate.

                  2. It is an ugly font. The characters are dramatically misshapen, lumpy, and asymmetric. Some fonts are just better than others, and Comic Sans is bad.

                  This is the latter case.

                  Signed, Somebody who comments when people misuse Times New Roman (another ugly font)

                  [–]Eriden 4 points5 points ago

                  Somebody who comments when people misuse Times New Roman (another ugly font)

                  You can blame Microsoft for making it the default in Word.

                  [–]BillyTenderness 9 points10 points ago

                  And I do. Frequently.

                  [–]BrendanJB 0 points1 point ago

                  I usually use something like Lucida Sans or Calibri. But whenever I do assignments for uni they make us use their template, which uses Times New Roman. It kills me every time I hit that submit button. It's so god damn ugly.

                  [–]Eriden 1 point2 points ago

                  Great, now I feel like I've been sinning my whole life and only just found out now.

                  [–]snoogansomg 5 points6 points ago

                  it's okay, nobody really cares in real life

                  [–]BillyTenderness 2 points3 points ago

                  It's OK, son. Repent, and the healing can begin. And look! There's a whole wide world of gorgeous typefaces out there just waiting for you!

                  [–]spirograffe 0 points1 point ago

                  What is the deal with teachers and Times New Roman? It's like they want to kill us.

                  [–]mouseknuckle 0 points1 point ago

                  Everyone has it. So it's that or Verdana.

                  load more comments (2 replies)

                    [–]AndThenTrumpets 1 point2 points ago

                    I like TNR...I have to constantly set Word documents back to it. IT IS MY FRIEND!

                    [–]mouseknuckle 1 point2 points ago

                    Yes. There are plenty of good comic fonts. Comic Sans is not one of them. If you need one, Blam Bot has made some nice fonts, many of them free.

                    [–]theweeeone 0 points1 point ago

                    Tell me then, what is the best font?

                    [–]random_potatoes 7 points8 points ago

                    Wingdings.

                    [–]Bennetts_Cousin[S] 0 points1 point ago

                    +1 for the laugh

                    load more comments (5 replies)

                      [–]fjaradvax 1 point2 points ago

                      I hate on comic sans because it was grossly overused in the nineties by executive types trying to be "down with the kids" - and then by every other bugger too lazy to buck the trend.

                      load more comments (4 replies)

                        [–]CJS7070 0 points1 point ago

                        http://shouldiusecomicsans.com

                        [–]trashyromance 0 points1 point ago

                        It wasn't everyday a high roller like silvercity21 slummed it up at a font club wine mixer, but he was confused, lonely and new in town. Being a CEO at 21 came with a lot of stress and silver was here to have a good time. It was when silvercity21 considered fucking a goofy, buck-toothed, font like Comic Sans that he knew it was time to head back home. Just then, hunky, dudeabides86 entered. He was tall, suave and had a great sweater. Instantly silvercity21 was drawn to dudeabides86's cowichan knit. The fair isle technique and wool indicated stability something silvercity86 wanted. Wanted badly like a tasteful area rug.

                        [–]h1p1n3 8 points9 points ago

                        It's the mother fucking comic sans wine mixer.

                        [–]Bennetts_Cousin[S] 5 points6 points ago

                        Dear Sir, do you work for Prestige World Wide?

                        [–]RamsesToo 1 point2 points ago

                        POW!

                        [–]linlorienelen 1 point2 points ago

                        Are you saying "pow" or "pah"?

                        [–]Tukphard 1 point2 points ago

                        If you fuck this up Bennetts_Cousin will eat your dick. I've seen him do it (it was in international waters so they couldn't prosecute him)

                        [–]I_Am_Comic_Sans 4 points5 points ago

                        Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

                        You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

                        People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

                        When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

                        It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

                        Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

                        http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole

                        [–]Bennetts_Cousin[S] 0 points1 point ago

                        I wonder if this guy is from pittsburgh. jagoff is a straight up pittsburgh slang.

                        [–]tohonor1983 8 points9 points ago

                        IT MAKES THE PICTURE

                        [–]Bennetts_Cousin[S] 5 points6 points ago

                        fuck comic sans!

                        [–]bondogban 0 points1 point ago

                        Is that Balrog, Sagat and Ken?

                        [–]BossOfTheGame 0 points1 point ago

                        I like that font.

                        [–]alfabetsoop 0 points1 point ago

                        IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN WANT THE KARMA.

                        [–]BossOfTheGame 0 points1 point ago

                        Stop right there criminal scum!

                        [–]DoctorBaconite 0 points1 point ago

                        Ctrl+F "comic sans"

                        /slit wrists

                        [–]crusade1234 0 points1 point ago

                        http://i.imgur.com/LRGKA.gif

                        load more comments (1 reply)

                          [–]seafoamstratocaster 7 points8 points ago

                          First thing on reddit to make me laugh in a while. Fuck the font nazis.

                          [–]markny1978 4 points5 points ago

                          I seriously LOL'ed for a solid minute. I used to have a yellow lab- this described her 100%!

                          [–]P0llyPrissyPants 1 point2 points ago

                          I have two beagles, one sits on the floor waiting for food, the other gives no fucks and sits in a chair at the table waiting for nibbles.

                          [–]haiku_robot 1 point2 points ago

                          First thing on reddit 
to make me laugh in a while. 
Fuck the font nazis.

                          [–]punx777 0 points1 point ago

                          Agreed, I'm sitting here eating shelled pistashios.... dog staring at me..

                          [–]Workaphobia 5 points6 points ago

                          So close. If only you hadn't left out a line, you could sing along.

                          [–]oatmealareyoucrazy 3 points4 points ago

                          Dachshund, you don't have to bark or bite. Those days are over. You don't have to howl into the night.

                          [–]99Faces 5 points6 points ago

                          for god's sake. every redditor has my dog!! http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/399105_10150627845848215_500898214_9261827_46223957_n.jpg

                          [–]DeadeyeDuncan 1 point2 points ago

                          I see your dog, and raise you double http://i.imgur.com/T5qm8.jpg

                          [–]99Faces 0 points1 point ago

                          haha you win

                          [–]chezazarng 4 points5 points ago

                          anybody else have to go and listen to the song immediately after this?

                          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEnJDaqT3-0

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                          Downvoted for comic sans.

                          [–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

                          COMIC SANS

                          [–]stortz 1 point2 points ago

                          I can't sing this, it's off rhythm

                          [–]Corund 1 point2 points ago

                          And so it begins. An image I've first seen on Facebook is later posted to Reddit.

                          [–]iggnore 1 point2 points ago

                          Holy shit Reddit.. This came FROM Facebook!? I've never been so disappointed in my life.. Posted on Wednesday to George Takei's page

                          [–]NicholasRoge 1 point2 points ago

                          Anyone else read this to the tune of "I'll be missing you"?

                          [–]nofate2029 1 point2 points ago

                          My dog in a nutshell.

                          [–]Lucildor 2 points3 points ago

                          Dogs watch us because they want to try our food, cats watch us because they are plotting how to kill us.

                          [–]COMIC_SAAAAAAAAANS 1 point2 points ago

                          [–]Tebasaki 1 point2 points ago

                          Every space you take, every font you take, comic sans is still shit.

                          [–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

                          Every space you break, every font you take, for Chrissakes, Comic Sans is fake.

                          [–]Tebasaki 0 points1 point ago

                          Damn nice lyrics, my friend.

                          [–]jhumphrey7 1 point2 points ago

                          My dog watched me.. Patiently day after day... Eating lunch... Till I turned my head... He grabbed my sandwich right from my hand..

                          [–]wynyx 1 point2 points ago

                          Have you no respect for meter?

                          [–]skytro 0 points1 point ago

                          Cuteness... overload... shutting... down...

                          [–]pwnedboarder 0 points1 point ago

                          holy shfuck I just geeked out sooooo hard...its my 21st birthdya fuck yoeS!

                          [–]DENelson83 0 points1 point ago

                          You missed a line.

                          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

                          Not if I close the door.

                          [–]tornadoslaps 0 points1 point ago

                          Crap. It's worse when they refuse to look at you and whimpers as you eat. I swear it's the worst feeling in the world.

                          [–]iwidiwin 0 points1 point ago

                          Soon.

                          [–]AnswersWithRhymes 0 points1 point ago

                          Soon.

                          [–]TokyoXtreme 0 points1 point ago

                          Oh Goody, It's My Favorite Font Together With My Favorite System Of Capitalization: Title-Case!

                          [–]Kupkin 0 points1 point ago

                          Why Comic Sands, WHY??

                          [–]ethanwc 0 points1 point ago

                          Applicable.

                          He's an adorable dog, but he's beginning to weird me out.

                          [–]TheClayroo 0 points1 point ago

                          I just pictured Puff Daddy doing that weird dance on the flat escalator thing with the dog head from Daft Punk's video.

                          [–]MacGuyverism 0 points1 point ago

                          Your caption is way better than "soon".

                          [–]haashmaluum 0 points1 point ago

                          This is number one on my front page. Astounding.

                          [–]faked17 0 points1 point ago

                          Oh my grooveshark (on shuffle) started playing this song like just before opening this link. Too much of coincidence!

                          [–]meppo 0 points1 point ago

                          ...Every love you make

                          I'll be watching you

                          [–]LessLikeYou 0 points1 point ago

                          There's a little grease spot on the floor today.

                          [–]Pregnenolone 0 points1 point ago

                          Capitalise All The Words!

                          [–]svrnmnd 0 points1 point ago

                          its soo true AMIRITEEE>?!?!?!?!?!?

                          [–]antivist 0 points1 point ago

                          Ahh yes yes, the stalker pooch track. My dog always gets his guard up when that one's on the radio whiles i'm in the shower.

                          [–]drunxor 0 points1 point ago

                          Every meme you break

                          [–]amynicole22 0 points1 point ago

                          I fuckin love this.

                          [–]lilianvoss 0 points1 point ago

                          Paws... For effect.

                          [–]i_faBer 0 points1 point ago

                          Be drunk, sang this in Full House tune.

                          [–]Dat_Boi_Pumba 0 points1 point ago

                          I bet the next super bowl will have an ad like this now.

                          [–]brussels4breakfast 0 points1 point ago

                          Great. Now I have that song stuck in my head.

                          [–]Voidsore 0 points1 point ago

                          Ooo can't you seeeee I wanna taste it tooooooo~ Every cake you baaaake.... Every pizza you ateeeee~

                          [–]stingharkonnen 0 points1 point ago

                          Cool. Reddit found my dog. Thanks everyone.

                          [–]Dreadnasty 0 points1 point ago

                          I wuld downvote again if I could...fuckin gay..

                          [–]Rodyle 0 points1 point ago

                          Wow. Lamest thing I've seen on reddit all week. Remind me how this is front page material?

                          [–]Stone2Rock 0 points1 point ago

                          Screw your damn choice of font.

                          Also, I am disappoint about no one chiding the use of Comic Sans earlier,

                          [–]Noturordinaryguy 0 points1 point ago

                          Comic. Fucking. Sans.

                          [–]siblingR 0 points1 point ago

                          lol. this is my dog. You have no idea how touching it is to see him enjoyed by reddit.

                          [–]Raoul_Puke 0 points1 point ago

                          Tranlations for dogs:
                          BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK
                          BARKBARK BARK BARK BARK
                          BARK BARK BARKBARK BARK

                          [–]quv 0 points1 point ago

                          I guess "every time you throw something in the trash" doesn't quite work, does it?

                          [–]Pannecake 1 point2 points ago

                          works well enough for my pitbull, Oscar, he loves trash. Eggshells and avocado pits...

                          [–]quv 0 points1 point ago

                          My beagles LOVE trash. They fucking love it. Even just paper towels and whatnot. Dogs have such gross taste in things. :/

                          Be careful about the avocado pits! Those can be toxic. Eggshells, though, those are totally good.

                          [–]Pannecake 1 point2 points ago

                          We know they're toxic, Oscar loves them and will drag them out by tipping over the trash can. He just chews on them mostly, never swallows them. I don't get what it is about eggshells and that dog, you'd think it was a fine delicacy...then again my dog and pretty much any food.

                          We once left a whole chicken on our counter to cool, we had take out that night because Oscar thought it was his dinner and pulled the chicken and the plate with him.

                          [–]quv 0 points1 point ago

                          I give my dogs whole raw eggs sometimes, mixed up with their food. They act like it's the coolest thing ever. Dogs are gross. We have to have a totally sealed-off litter box for the cat because one of my beagles loves to eat cat poop. Dogs are kind of gross sometimes.

                          [–]Pannecake 1 point2 points ago

                          Oscar loves cat poop, thinks its like an almond roca or something :p

                          [–]chase82 0 points1 point ago

                          When our dog does that we refer to it as 'Crocodile Eyes'

                          [–]TheStupidZebra 0 points1 point ago

                          Original content?

                          HELP.

                          [–]HisAndHearse 0 points1 point ago

                          I read somewhere years ago that Every Breath You Take was about his dogs undying devotion. Now, the internet is telling me I was gullible.

                          [–]MrStonedOne 0 points1 point ago*

                          Lexi:

                          Every snack I make
                          Every meal I bake
                          Every bite I take
                          I'll be missing you.

                          Damn it! Who's cutting onions?

                          [–]julesp96 0 points1 point ago

                          They just sit there, hoping you will suddenly die so that they can eat all of your food.

                          [–]Enchanted_Muffin 0 points1 point ago

                          I thought that was pretty clever... Till I realised it was in Comic Sans. Upvote anyways...

                          [–]itsDANdeeMAN 0 points1 point ago

                          I sang the words in my head reading this.

                          [–]mkdeut 0 points1 point ago

                          Oh god. I remember when the larger original of this photo was posted to Reddit quite a while ago. Somebody had the brilliant idea of photoshopping that dog in to the default Windows XP background. I've spent hours searching for those two photos after a hard-drive crash some time ago. If anybody can find them for me and link them here, I will love you forever.

                          [–]antivist 0 points1 point ago

                          So bottom electric fence line is this is a reproduction/repost then.

                          [–]SgtSloth 0 points1 point ago

                          Cowboy feels the same.

                          [–]Beebebi 0 points1 point ago

                          I have never laughed as hard as I did just now. Nice work (:

                          [–]bananapanther 0 points1 point ago

                          This might be the first time I saw something posted on Facebook before I saw it on reddit!

                          [–]Shippoyasha 0 points1 point ago

                          To be honest, it was really annoying when my dog was alive and he literally was eyeing me ever second of my waking life. If I stirred awake so did he. If I ate something, he was right next to me, pretty much tackling me.

                          After he's gone, I miss being annoyed and irked by his constant presence. Now it's an absence of presence.

                          [–]SavageReindeer 0 points1 point ago

                          Now I'm sad.

                          load more comments (58 replies)

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