this post was submitted on
318 points (75% like it)
465 up votes 147 down votes

funny

subscribe2,531,635 readers

9,392 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 37 comments

[–]rileythereaper 7 points8 points ago

KOOOAAAAALLLAAAA

[–]Idiotank 5 points6 points ago

that is an interesting safeword

[–]Hellstruelight 1 point2 points ago

mines is "Potato"

been using it for years

[–]theghostofme 4 points5 points ago

Never, ever, use that with POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS.

[–]Hellstruelight 3 points4 points ago

[–]Fruit_Squash -1 points0 points ago

Do you have to count all the way up to it?

[–]Hellstruelight 1 point2 points ago

No, since I've been using it as a safe ford a long time it naturally predates that meme. I also don't find that meme funny. I'm not a huge advocate for disabled people or anything - the jokes just obvious and not funny.

[–]Flamo_the_Idiot_Boy 7 points8 points ago

Fords are pretty safe. I hear Subaru are good also.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Lemontree!!

[–]Erylic 3 points4 points ago

These sort of things, from my experience, NEVER end well. That being said, they can be quite fun... until of course they go all to Hell. On second thought, who gives a shit if it goes to Hell. Enjoy.

[–]Roaning 7 points8 points ago

I find this incredibly arousing.

[–]Rudy69 0 points1 point ago

don't we all wish

[–]Enderkr 2 points3 points ago

I applaud your creative safeword. Might have to steal it.

[–]HotCrockets 2 points3 points ago

I think I can speak for Reddit when I say I hope there's an update on this after said weekend.

[–]starryknight 5 points6 points ago

No kissing rule?

What is she, a prostitute?

[–]NerdCrush 12 points13 points ago

Kissing is generally romantic. It is a quick way to catch feelings.

[–]starryknight 15 points16 points ago

So does a remarkable blow job.

[–]NerdCrush 7 points8 points ago

That's how I secured my current relationship.

[–]starryknight 1 point2 points ago

Bless you, good woman.

[–]nothing_of_value 10 points11 points ago

Sex without kissing is just meh. :(

[–]TidalPotential 1 point2 points ago

Koala. Huh.

[–]MusicalPie 1 point2 points ago

I would love to see your response.

[–]italkaboutmylife[S] 2 points3 points ago

my two stipulations were equal access to the best man and no eye contact during oral.

[–]MusicalPie 1 point2 points ago

Yea I hate eye contact during oral. It makes things too personal.

[–]CowboyNinjaD 2 points3 points ago

[–]sphericalvoxel 1 point2 points ago

"Hey, has anyone seen Major Kong?"

(Fun fact: Slim Pickens, the actor who played "King" Kong, didn't know the movie was a comedy.)

[–]CowboyNinjaD 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, Peter Sellers (who played three or four other roles in the film) was actually supposed to play Kong, but Kubric decided it would be better to have someone who would play it straight.

And to be fair, I'm not sure I'd classify Strangelove as a comedy. It's definitely funny, but it's not exactly Caddyshack either.

[–]Flamo_the_Idiot_Boy 2 points3 points ago

but it's not exactly Caddyshack either.

And thank sweet zombie Jesus for that.

[–]sphericalvoxel 1 point2 points ago

Peter Sellers was Dr. Strangelove, the President, and Mandrake. I heard it was actually because Sellers broke his leg (or some other leg injury) and couldn't manage the B-52 cockpit.

The movie is a black comedy, but Pickens thought it was a war drama.

[–]CowboyNinjaD -1 points0 points ago

Yeah, I get that it was a black comedy. I'm just saying that not all comedy films are created equally. If Stangelove was just some goofy bullshit movie, we wouldn't still be talking about it now.

[–]allmen 0 points1 point ago

Feel it coming It's knocking at the door You know it's no good running It's not against the law The point of no return And now you know the score And now you're learning What's knockin' at your back door

[–]Sordatos -1 points0 points ago

With hisbown hands?

[–]Sordatos 1 point2 points ago

His own hands

[–]Horse_Fetish -3 points-2 points ago

Wrong subreddit, man.