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655
656

the etiquette of eating doritos (imageshack.us)

submitted ago by scmger

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[–]bootnuts 18 points19 points ago

I do this with all bagged snacks in chip format

[–]JonesBee 37 points38 points ago

They taste the best when there's no shame.

[–]bootnuts 13 points14 points ago

I like dealing with the pangs of guilt after polishing off a family size in the comfort of my home.

[–]Mistervodka 5 points6 points ago

Thanks for reminding me! I finished off a full can of pringles and my last box of girl scout cookies last night. Setting alarm now: "Need snacks; go shopping"

[–]TheDroopy 1 point2 points ago

Casually brushes crumbs off of shirt and onto floor

[–]bootnuts 1 point2 points ago

Try flossing molars with tip of tongue

[–]udntsay 0 points1 point ago

They taste the best bc there IS shame.

[–]mexicanninja23 5 points6 points ago

This, but with popcorn.

[–]Joe__Dirt 7 points8 points ago

I eat popcorn the same way whether public or private (shovel method). I thought that's why they turned the lights out in the movie theatre.

[–]LeonHRodriguez 3 points4 points ago

...then at about the half-way point in the film, I look down to find that I am covered in popcorn

but luckily, the lights are still low so I just eat them off of myself :)

[–]udntsay 0 points1 point ago

People hate me in movie theaters. I shake the bag so I can grab more popcorn. Im not afraid to admit, I'm no lady in the dark :P

[–]Zantre 1 point2 points ago

Really? I just stick my head in the bag and rotate.

[–]vinvin212 43 points44 points ago

UM Tyler Oakley on Reddit...

[–]gbromios 11 points12 points ago

Went to high school with this dude; he's legit!

[–]vinvin212 5 points6 points ago

Lucky, I follow him on Tumblr and watched him when he was making videos with 5AwesomeGays.

[–]dead_brill 2 points3 points ago

Okemos FTW! :)

[–]anniebananie 1 point2 points ago

-imately attractive

[–]le37 0 points1 point ago

Remember Chief Okemos.

[–]aussie_bob -1 points0 points ago

A legit advertiser?

This looks so much like an attempt at astroturf it makes my teeth ache.

[–]gbromios 0 points1 point ago

haha, yeah I could see how it would look like that, but I seriously doubt he'd sell out that hard. Though, to be honest, I'm not sure how anyone sells out that hard.

Also, by legit, I meant cool/funny, not trying to dispel notions that he was in fact a paid fan of Doritos :P

[–]VideSupra 3 points4 points ago

So weird to see Buttons the Clown as a famous icon these days. Anyone else on Reddit from ACFriends, where Buttons first start his vlogging?

[–]myth84 3 points4 points ago

ACF represent!

Got his pots and pans pic?

[–]VideSupra 2 points3 points ago

Oh god, yes, somewhere. Time to dig through the externals.

[–]Ah-Schoo 1 point2 points ago

It was posted recently somewhere.

[–]xo_rawr_ox 0 points1 point ago

Yup! And the lovely edits.

[–]Sparechanged[!] 1 point2 points ago

This feels as surreal as that time someone linked to ALL CAPS's "Don't Unplug Me" in /r/videos.

[–]TrimHopp 2 points3 points ago

He's so damn funny.

[–]Sedentes 0 points1 point ago

I had no idea who this person is, but I want to take him out to dinner.

[–]Vouk73 15 points16 points ago

Hands? Just open wide and let those badboys fall into your gaping maw.

[–]thegreatgetzby 6 points7 points ago

The crumbles at the bottom are the best.

[–]Vouk73 4 points5 points ago

Oh god, especially if you're eating vinegar chips... Full to the brim with salty sour goodness!

[–]longboarderbandits 1 point2 points ago

Open your bag from the bottom and all that salty sour goodness goes back on your chips! Unless you prefer that extra shot of salt at the end of the bag.

[–]Pheon809 18 points19 points ago

I'm ashamed to admit that this is true.

[–]leedorham 28 points29 points ago

Meh, I am a one dorito at a time guy, mostly because then you can put Jalapeno slices on top of each one as you eat them.

[–]gne1217 18 points19 points ago

I am too. But because if you bite wrong the sharp chip edges jab your gums and teeth and that hurts. For some reason I have a paranoia that my teeth will fall out easily. Probably from having braces for 6 years.

[–]zuyx 10 points11 points ago

If it makes you feel any better about your fear, when I was younger I tripped while eating doritos and the chip went through my lip. I now have a scar to remember that tragic day.

[–]ispelledmynamefuck 8 points9 points ago

And a lifetime supply of Doritos?

[–]NoIdea- 1 point2 points ago

this made me cry

[–]bitch_im_a_lion 1 point2 points ago

I hope that didn't hinder any future Dorito eating.

[–]mmmberry 3 points4 points ago

But because if you bite wrong the sharp chip edges jab your gums and teeth and that hurts

This is also why I don't eat fritos.

[–]frobischer 3 points4 points ago

In one Sherman's Lagoon strip Sherman bites a Dorito wrong and it pierces his brain, paralyzing him.

[–]idratherbe 2 points3 points ago

You just blew my mind.

[–]peesinpools 5 points6 points ago

Tip of the hat to you.

[–]dreamcat40 11 points12 points ago

I wish I could eat them like that but they would shred my gums.

[–]b0w3n 4 points5 points ago

Floss more, fucking superman gums.

[–]udntsay 4 points5 points ago

Its not the gums man, its the roof of your mouth. :(

[–]b0w3n 3 points4 points ago

Oh shit, yeah that's pretty rough.

Or when they get stuck in between your gums and your tooth.

[–]DerpHerpson123 1 point2 points ago

or between your teeth. hurts like fuck because you cant take it out.

[–]Diracdeltafunct 3 points4 points ago

Nah. The correct way is to pull out individual chips and inspect which side has the most flavoring powder on it. Then when eating, that side must be placed down against the tongue to achieve maximum flavor to tortilla ratio.

[–]SkepticLolz 1 point2 points ago

Oh man, I do a similar thing. I inspect the chip for the area of most flavor and that is the place I grip with my thumb as I eat it. Then, after the bag has been devoured, my thumb his coated in a thick layer of flavory goodness. MMmmmmmmmm....

[–]lulzatyourface 11 points12 points ago

Am I sick for licking off all of the powder first, then eating the chip? It tastes the best that way! (I only do that in private.)

[–]SlightlyAmbiguous 2 points3 points ago

I do the same thing. Public and private.

[–]Beefyface 0 points1 point ago

Me too! No shame in licking Doritos clean before you eat them.

Found out it was "weird" when I was eating them during lunch in middle school.

[–]LaikaFromSpace 3 points4 points ago

And then you get the added benefit of licking off a centimeter-thick lining of chip powder, condensed and delicious, off your fingers when you're done. It's a win/win.

[–]lulzatyourface 1 point2 points ago

The only time that's not a benefit is when I eat Cheetos. My fingers turn orange. =[

[–]iznotbutterz 0 points1 point ago

Dude have you tried the bigger bolder ones?

[–]lulzatyourface 0 points1 point ago

I have not! I didn't even know they existed, ha ha.

[–]iznotbutterz 0 points1 point ago

Just got a batch of them at my work and they are amazing at a (6)

[–]Bob_Chiquita 5 points6 points ago

Protip: Chopsticks

[–]King_Lem 2 points3 points ago

Always get your chip, never get the dust on your fingers.

No downsides.

[–]Beefyface 0 points1 point ago

The downside is no delicious fingers to lick.

[–]number420pencil 6 points7 points ago

Lol. imageshack.

[–]MomoTheCow 2 points3 points ago

At home I share at least a fifth of the bag with my keyboard.

[–]kookysong 2 points3 points ago

me when I have the munchies then when somebody looks my direction

[–]dizzaray 2 points3 points ago

Psh I eat them one by one anywhere. The only difference between at home versus public is whether or not I lick my fingers of the delicious chez.

[–]jrryrchrdsn 2 points3 points ago

BUTTONS THE CLOWN

[–]ODasiti 1 point2 points ago

Shhhh. ACF does not exist.

[–]Animatethis 1 point2 points ago

RIP VNboards.

[–]WorkWork 1 point2 points ago

RIP ACF2

[–]Ordal 1 point2 points ago

Oh god....

[–]jrryrchrdsn 1 point2 points ago

I know Buttons from actually playing AC on Wintersebb :p

[–]SheffieldAbella 2 points3 points ago

I can't get enough of that font.

[–]probablysomeoneelse 4 points5 points ago

Opened this just as I shoveled a handful of Doritos into my mouth. Almost spit them all over my computer.

[–]Teekoo 1 point2 points ago

I don't get how skinny guys can eat so many doritos. I mean just one bag of the contains at least 1500kcal.

[–]rainbowtunnel 1 point2 points ago

Who is this man?

[–]SlightlyAmbiguous 4 points5 points ago

Tyler Oakley.

[–]megganmuffins 1 point2 points ago

nacho cheese perhaps would have gotten this more upvotes.

[–]openletter8 1 point2 points ago

This rule applies to cheez-its too. Possibly even more so.

[–]cowheadcow 1 point2 points ago

But WHY COOL RANCH. Spicy Nacho ftw.

[–]JordanLA 1 point2 points ago

I eat them in public the way i eat them at home.....

[–]prince_harming 1 point2 points ago

K, quick question:

I grew up in the Midwest, and in the late '90s they brought Salsa Verde Doritos to our region. I fell in love.

Then, they discontinued them (but apparently only in the Midwest.)

Are they still around anywhere now? They were amazing. If I had a bag of them in front of me, I wouldn't care where I was; I'd probably pull a Barney Gumble ("Just hook it to my veeeiins!") Probably deadly, definitely excruciating, absolutely worth it.

[–]udntsay 1 point2 points ago

I know computers but still haven't learned the art of saving a .GIF and it not just saving as a picture. HOW DO YOU DO IT!?

[–]DylanBailey 1 point2 points ago

Funny that Tyler Oakley is on reedit when 3/4 of his reblogs originate here. Fate.

[–]WantCookie 1 point2 points ago

That is hilarious- I was thinking about this recently, actually. Girls on campus always eat chips in such an obnoxious way- just one chip, slowly, and then then dust their fingers off in a snotty way. Bitches, just eat those damn chips. Chow down on the shit, don't try to look fancy.

[–]nrfx 1 point2 points ago

I don't care how you eat your Doritos. Really. It's your bag and you can eat them however you want.

However, you best wash your fucking hands before you touch any of my controllers. Licking your fingers and wiping them on your pants doesn't cut it.

[–]hergumbules 1 point2 points ago

Who uses the bag to catch falling doritos? I eat that shit shirtless and suck the crumbs off my hairy chest when I'm done.

[–]BertoChavez 1 point2 points ago

The public method shown here bugs me to no end. I hate that sound. Put the whole chip in your mouth, close your lips, then chew. There's no reason to make people listen to that noise for however long it takes you to eat the bag.

[–]Cheddar_V 1 point2 points ago

I came here to say this.

Listening to people eating chips makes me want to go on a murderous rage. I fucking HATE Mexican restaurants because of this.

[–]BertoChavez 1 point2 points ago

You may have what I have.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

[–]Cheddar_V 1 point2 points ago

Interesting. My wife and I just read that entry. She said it explains perfectly why I HATE the show Friends, simply because of one particular person laughing in the laugh track.

The annoyance at fidgeting is also one I have. Drives me crazy.

Very insightful find, thanks for the link!

[–]be81827 1 point2 points ago

I used to cram them into my mouth, chew, suck all the moisture out of them until it was a ball of solid matter, then cram more into my mouth, suck all the moisture out again, then add the dried mounds together in my mouth, and see how big of a dried out ball of doritos I could get in my mouth at once. Not sure why I did this.

[–]sinfulcolors 19 points20 points ago

That was funny last week when it was posted in r/trees.

[–]assblaster7 54 points55 points ago

Because everyone who browses reddit subscribes to /r/trees.

[–][deleted] ago*

[deleted]

[–]assblaster7 10 points11 points ago

This is probably why you are getting downvoted: http://i.imgur.com/Poqbl.png

[–]Legitimidget 0 points1 point ago

If it says 'please don't engage in illegal activity' then why is r/trees a subreddit? Just wondering.

[–]PapauNewGuinea 2 points3 points ago

Talking about weed isn't illegal.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]iveyec06 3 points4 points ago

Credit is due more to the creator than the poster, but yes it is nice to know who to thank for our amusements.

[–]Khatib 1 point2 points ago

Are you really all that sure the person who posted it there made it? Because probably not.

[–]SkepticLolz 2 points3 points ago

Tyler himself (the dude in the gif) is pimping this link on facebook. If it's cool with him, I'm cool with it.

[–]UrbtoOSU 9 points10 points ago

Welcome to Reddit.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]UrbtoOSU 16 points17 points ago

Or you've been on Reddit longer and because of this you recognize more posts than you did previously....

[–]timidnoshing 4 points5 points ago

How about... "That was funny when it was posted to youtube." ... You snooty tree bitch!

[–]Scalia5 4 points5 points ago

And once the down voting train starts, it doesnt stop. Whatever more you say will be downvoted. Just an observation.

[–]ScareCrowBoats 0 points1 point ago

Why the fuck did you get downvoted.

[–]Pacoboy09 2 points3 points ago

That reminds me I have Doritos hidden away somewhere downstairs..

[–]pumpkinburger 2 points3 points ago

Well now I want Doritos.

[–]VertigoFall 3 points4 points ago

I FUCKING THROW THE SAUCE IN THE BAG AND STUFF MY FACE IN IT.

HARDCORE

[–]arachnopussy 0 points1 point ago

So brave, evrtim.

[–]VertigoFall 0 points1 point ago

THE ENEMIES ARE THE SHARP ONES.

[–]mizliu 1 point2 points ago

I freakin love this channel on youtube :3

[–]Shadoni 3 points4 points ago

Do you mind enlightening me as to which channel you are referring?

[–]idratherbe 3 points4 points ago

Tyler Oakley!

[–]Shadoni 0 points1 point ago

I thank thee, kind soul.

[–]mizliu 0 points1 point ago

I actually used to watch 5awesomegays, which Tyler Oakley is a part of :)

[–]idratherbe 2 points3 points ago

Me too!

[–]Gavalar 4 points5 points ago

Nobody steals from trees! NOBODY!

[–]sayn 0 points1 point ago

I eat them the second way everywhere.

[–]divinesleeper 0 points1 point ago

I used to play a game with friends were we would put as many Pringles in our mouths as possible. Just when my brother was going for a new record, we made him laugh, and the Pringles came flying out through his nose. Hurt like hell, he said later on.

[–]sgtpppr 0 points1 point ago

And then use the front of your shirt to wipe the flavor dust off your fingers.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Yeah, tell that to the guy that sits next to me at work. >_>

[–]frazehaze 0 points1 point ago

Nachos at home = Salsa dip. Always with salsa dip.

[–]OAMP 0 points1 point ago

I always eat chips one at a time, and I use alot of time on each. I enjoy licking the salt or flavour off the chips. Tastes great, man!

[–]troxnor 0 points1 point ago

This reminded me that i had a bag of doritos in my bag for lunch. thank you so much scmger.

[–]jmarkinman 0 points1 point ago

relevant

[–]GaryOakz 0 points1 point ago

Honestly, why do American bags of Doritos look so... shitty?

They look like they were manufactured in the 90's or something.

[–]rocketshipotter 0 points1 point ago

Tyler and his Cool Ranch Doritos...

[–]TheAethereal 0 points1 point ago

Does anybody else lick the spices off the Doritos and then eat them? Tell me I'm not alone on this.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I only wish the bag was bigger so I could put my face in it

[–]thejohnstocktons 0 points1 point ago

... And leave the glowing, dankest, most tasty dorito for last.

[–]longboardingerrday 0 points1 point ago

Crunch those babies up in the bag and pour them into that insatiable face sarlacc of yours and you've got yourself a snack!

[–]jxrst9 0 points1 point ago

never order a muffin at a coffee shop, I made that mistake today. There is no good way to eat it in public

[–]Reddit_Thief 0 points1 point ago

Haha it's Tyler Oakley! :D

[–]donkeytime 0 points1 point ago

I once had a halfwit roommate who would wipe his fingers on the arm of my couch after each chip. Made me furious.

...and yes, I mentioned it to him nicely. He didn't see a problem.

[–]PleaseDontStalkMe 0 points1 point ago

If you wanted to be ridiculed that's how you should eat a chip in public.

[–]KennyFukinPowers 0 points1 point ago

I'm like this with sandwiches. I go all Man Vs. Food on Dagwood hoagies when I'm at home. Wait, that sounds gay. Never mind...

[–]revrend_ 0 points1 point ago

False, I highly doubt that I look like a douche when eating in public. I say this because the guy in the gif is a douche.

[–]aenmu 0 points1 point ago

Oh tyler oakley! he was my resident adviser when i lived in the dorms!

[–]morachan 0 points1 point ago

No, you have to put the entire chip in your mouth so you can cover the sound of the crunch.

[–]ZML09 0 points1 point ago

I don't know about anyone else but i lick the dorito before I eat it...

[–]sonofhaakon 0 points1 point ago

Repost from /r/trees

[–]Fisher847 0 points1 point ago

This guy was my RA, he wrote me up from drinking in a mankini on Halloween.

[–]DerkMan 0 points1 point ago

sorry had to downvote, repost

[–]TheKoltrane 0 points1 point ago

That guy graduated from my high school. he was a senior when I was a freshman lol

[–]Thorvalde 0 points1 point ago

I don't like doritos...

[–]thegreatgetzby 0 points1 point ago

I know what I'm getting for lunch :D

[–]nothingcomestomind_9 0 points1 point ago

should read; 'Eating in public.....Eating when high'

[–]VidenTheColdOne 0 points1 point ago

I read that as "the etiquette of eating dildos" yea... i should stop spending so much time on reddit.

[–]Shop-S-Mart -1 points0 points ago

HaH, Gaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

How can you eat these chips. They're more caked down with MSG and artificial flavoring than the entire spice rack section.

[–]IkananXIII 2 points3 points ago

How we eat them is clearly illustrated in the gif.

[–]Shurikane -2 points-1 points ago

Doritos Etiquette

Rule #1: Do not dip in your vaginal discharge

[–]SupaLove -1 points0 points ago

Eat on the train like you do at home - Isaac Newton

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

I HAVE NEVER SEEN SUCH COPPPY PASSTA IN MY LIFE GTFO NOW

[–]kiwi_evie -1 points0 points ago

Yes. Just change the flavour to Chilli Heatwave and we're in.

[–]I_am_going_to_kick_u -4 points-3 points ago

Repost from r/trees

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