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From a newspaper in NJ. I think this goes here. (imgur.com)
submitted 6 months ago by 1mannwolfpak
[–]happybirthdaydude 191 points192 points193 points 6 months ago
Man, where is the rest of that story? The opening sentence is epic...
[–]An_Emo_Dinosaur 204 points205 points206 points 6 months ago
A 61-year-old woman Friday attacked another woman with three knives, including a meat cleaver, imbedding a knife point in the victim's skull and cutting off part of her right ear, police and the victim said.
"The blood was everywhere. I thought I was going to die. I was begging for my life," said Gina Damiano, 47, assaulted at about 5 p.m. outside the elevator on the 11th floor of Rowan Towers on the 600 block of West State Street.
Damiano sustained no life-threatening injuries and was released after obtaining "numerous stitches" at Capital Health System-Fuld.
Full article
[–][deleted] 104 points105 points106 points 6 months ago
Well, that ended up being depressing. At first I thought someone tried to mug some bad ass old lady, but turns out she was a mental illness patient off her medication. She attacked a very friendly neighbor.
[–]vandal823 45 points46 points47 points 6 months ago
I was attacked, by a developmentally disabled guy, for whom I provided care, and it was one of the more tense, scary moments of my life. Everything is unpredictable.
[–][deleted] 6 months ago
[deleted]
[–]ChaoticAgenda 24 points25 points26 points 6 months ago
Crazy people can be naked too. You'll just never know what to expect with people sometimes.
[–]ctm617 32 points33 points34 points 6 months ago
I got my ass kicked in high school by a retarded kid. I can fight, too! Retard strength is no joke. I must have connected with 10 good punches to the face, he was swollen up good, too, but it didn't matter. Once he got a hold of me, I was finished.
[–]TheSpaghetti_Monster 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
You can never ever win in a fight against retarded kids. If you lose, you lost to a retarded kid. If you win, you beat up a retarded kid. Society looks down upon you in both outcomes.
[–]zilong 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Can you elaborate, please?
[–]vandal823 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
Sure. It's a long story, so I'll keep it brief. I covered someone's shift, on Thanksgiving, and ended up working with "Bob", who I normally didn't work with. Bob and I go for a drive, and I stop at the store for a Mountain Dew.
I get back in the car, with said MD, and Bob (who sort of grunted, instead of spoke) starts making noises and pointing at my drink. I figured he probably wanted pop, but I wasn't sure if that was allowed or not, so I told him "when we get back to the house, I'll ask if you can have some".
Then, Bob picks his nose, and wipes a huge booger on my dashboard. I'm like "Bob, wipe that off, right now. That's gross and it's not nice.". I may have said it more forcefully, than I had to, but it kinda pissed me off, because it seemed like he did it out of spite.
Anyways, I pull out of the parking lot, and probably get, about, 30 yards down the street. Next thing I know, Bob is raining punches down on my face, left and right, and I'm trying to manage my stick shift into the next available parking lot.
I finally park, and Bob now has ripped my rear view mirror off, and is holding it like he's going to beat me with it. I grabbed it out of his hand, and then grab both of his wrists, to stop any more punches. He's still grunting, and rocking back and forth, so I go "you can have a pop, when we get back"..
..instantly calm
So I drive back to the home, and when we get out, I was so mad I was shaking. I wanted to bash his deformed skull in. Instead, I went inside and told my coworkers, about what had transpired. They chuckled, and had me fill out an incident report. I was later reimbursed for the mirror.
TL;DR- didn't give a disabled guy a Mountain Dew; got beat up, while driving, for it -_-
Edit: that's hilarious that I said I'd keep it brief
[–]tellhersafe 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
When I was in elementary school a kid with down syndrome got mad and threw my friend at me =/ He was normally so sweet, too.
[–]bluescape 9 points10 points11 points 6 months ago
That's why you can never be friendly with a ninja
[–]Grossly_Overrated 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
... and not actually a Ninja...
[–]omplatt 13 points14 points15 points 6 months ago
She is no ninja. Ninjas must be of sound body and mind.
[–]mach-2 45 points46 points47 points 6 months ago
She shouldn't have pissed off lady Tsunade.
[–]cuddlep00p 10 points11 points12 points 6 months ago
Old lady Hokage don't fuck around.
[–]SonVolt 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
They misspelled "embedding". That is all.
[–]sp00ks 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I guess the time was around 5pm, if only she had a watch this whole incident couldve been avoided
[–]edknator 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
What. In the actual. FUCK
[–]aperture81 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
I'm with you - 61 year old ninja woman "you know what time it is bitch? You know what time it is" armed with knives and cleavers
[–]NotVerySmarts 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
The victim should have said it was a little after 5.
[–]1mannwolfpak[S] 18 points19 points20 points 6 months ago
Sorry man I was going through pictures on my old phone and found it. unfortunately thats all I've got of that picture.
[–]epic_comebacks 65 points66 points67 points 6 months ago
You give OPs everywhere a bad name
[–]chinnababu 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
There is a reason why he is just a 1-man wolf pack.
[–]down_vote_magnet 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
attacked another woman with three knives, including a meat cleaver, imbedding a knife...
IN WHAT?! IN WHICH PART OF HER BODY?!
[–]thealfreds 10 points11 points12 points 6 months ago
The tasty part.
[–]mach-2 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
love handles?
[–]cherrygarcia 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
her head, cut off part of her right ear.
[–]slumba 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Aziz?
[–]ThaFuzz 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Light?
[–]vandal823 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Gesundheit.
[–]fantomfancypants 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
It's clearly pizzatime, cowabunga.
[–]xLoafery 219 points220 points221 points 6 months ago
Nobody expects the elderly Ninja
[–]Ocrasorm 43 points44 points45 points 6 months ago
Expect him when you least expect him.
[–]SaladFengasPapit 130 points131 points132 points 6 months ago
I think she expected him. That bitch knew what time it was.
[–]feetham 66 points67 points68 points 6 months ago
She expected her
[–]bagelsandkegels 17 points18 points19 points 6 months ago
Ladies can be ninjas too.
[–]feetham 11 points12 points13 points 6 months ago
It says in the article, well what you can see of it.
[–]katamarimasu 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
Kunoichi.
[–]999realthings 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
It's business time cause I only got my socks on.
[–]frenzyboard 5 points6 points7 points 6 months ago
Sounds more like a barbarian than a ninja.
[–]NeverfailMode 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
You sound more like a barbarian than a ninja.
[–]frenzyboard 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Thanks! Conan has always been a personal hero of mine.
[–]saganaut 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Did she give birth to the meat cleaver? Did her actions somehow result in a meat cleaver? I don't see how she yielded it. Now, if she were to... WIELD it...
[–]HasFuckedYourMom 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Before the early bird specials start, and after the afternoon nap. The indigestion starts to act up after dinner, gotta get an early start.
[–]capmasterflash 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Fiber makes me sad.
[–]Dokbokki 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Expect the unexpected.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
This was my argument for terminators as well
[–]imaunitard 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
This is why "What to Expect When You're Expecting Ninjas" was never written.
[–]blayd -1 points0 points1 point 6 months ago
well, nobody expected the spanish inquisition either
[–]Man_of_words 38 points39 points40 points 6 months ago
For those curious: the full article.
[–]EarthMandy 16 points17 points18 points 6 months ago
Sooo.... it turns out this is all pretty fucked up. How, exactly, is she a ninja?
[–]mach-2 60 points61 points62 points 6 months ago
2 knives = shurikens
meat cleaver = katana
Suddenly attacked = stealth( element of surprise)
Old lady = master of disguise/ unexpected
61 years old = master/sensei.
[–]GReggzz732 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
I immedietely knew it was the "Trentonian" before I even saw the the picture. All I needed to know was that it was from an NJ newspaper and it was in "WTF".
[–]simplyxstatic 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Ah, the Trentonian- my home room teacher in high school always made fun of the headlines.
[–]PhightingPhils 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Relevant
[–]thisismymoniker 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
The Trentonian is one of the worst publications I have ever tried to read in my entire life. There is absolutely no regard for spelling, grammar, or punctuation. It's painful to read. My middle- & high- school teachers also used the papers as examples of how not to write.
[–]larrisonw 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Yep. The newspaper headlines are always hilarious, but i'd never buy it.
[–]GReggzz732 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Exactly, it's the kind of newspaper (I wouldn't even want to call it that) that you read while you wait for your porkroll, egg and cheese to come off that grill.
[–]dyngan 27 points28 points29 points 6 months ago
they are out there! this is from a couple of years back: http://www.news.com.au/national/ninjas-rescue-student-from-thugs/story-e6frfkvr-1225868928257
[–]lookingforuser 12 points13 points14 points 6 months ago
I love this line:
They also failed to notice a ninja, Nathan Smith, standing in the shadows outside the dojo.
[–]lotictrance 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I wonder if he was just on guard or something, like, is there always a ninja hiding in stealth outside the dojo, just in case?
[–]Saixan 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
I need to find this dojo.
[–]callmeWia 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Here is an Iranian one.. for females
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
That Sensei was way too excited about being a Ninja to be an actual Ninja.
[–]Iwantitnow 21 points22 points23 points 6 months ago
It's a Jersey thing.
[–]yourmansconnect 10 points11 points12 points 6 months ago
They just dont know..973
[–]mattwaver 12 points13 points14 points 6 months ago
973 REPRESENT!! you're the first 973-er I've met on reddit. Keep it real.
[–]Venatrys 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
psh I live in 973 but 609 forever
[–]bexinc 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
I'm a 201...so close. But you'll find a bunch of other people in the area over in r/newjersey! We have a meetup happening this Friday!
Call me old fashioned, but I had to urban dictionary "keep it real"
[–]I_KeepsItReal 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
You could've just asked
[–]4RN8Z 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
4 months and 1 day. Well done.
[–]Jensen189 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
With our powers combined.
[–]luxury_yacht 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
973 here, right on the border of 201
[–]drak0 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
Hey! I was from the 973 too! Although I grew up in a tiny town in a valley, you're probably far away from where I lived.
[–]daMagistrate67 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
mark me up as more of a 732 kinda guy
[–]BriMcC 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Oh please, this happened in Trenton. 609 all the way.
[–]RudeTurnip 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
No, it's a shit hole known as Trenton thing.
[–]sircrowbar 16 points17 points18 points 6 months ago
"Ad... Adventure Time?"
[–]drgojirax 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I knew someone would post that response before I would. Exactly the way I would have done it, too.
[–]alteron808 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Adventure Time, come on grab your knives, we'll go to very distant fights...
[–]whitebait01 16 points17 points18 points 6 months ago
imbedding
ಠ_ಠ
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
You + your mom = inbredding.
[–]alteron808 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Me + flour + yeast = inbreading.
I don't have an equation but I'll just leave this here
[–]ruinedlives 15 points16 points17 points 6 months ago
"The woman, she said, had secreted the knives..."
This woman has a KNIFE GLAND!
[–]zarisin 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
It sits right next to your inflammatory gland (allows you to catch things on fire) and automaticweaponry gland (ability to produce live fire weapons). Some elderly people tend to get cancer in one of these three, usually the inflammatory gland, but I think this lady got it in the cutlery gland. It's such a shame because he body is now producing 100X more knives than she needs and the only thing she thinks she can do to rid herself of them is attack others. If she had just gone and seen the awesomologist, he could have prevented this sudden outbreak of ninja skills.
[–]TheHerbalGerbil 11 points12 points13 points 6 months ago
What the fuck?
[–]Rand0mNZ 12 points13 points14 points 6 months ago
61 = elderly?
[–]i_vocaroo_you 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
I hope it's fun-time.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s06n1KU2xnY4
You cut off the part where we find out what time it was.
[–]Texas_Pete 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
Only in Trenton.
[–]ReverendJohnson 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Ninjas With Attitude: Straight outta Trenton
[–]SolHeiM 8 points9 points10 points 6 months ago
"It's time to kick ass and chew bubble-gum, and I'm all outta gum."
[–]efink009 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
"imbedding"
i doubt the validity of this newspaper somewhat
[–]Richeh 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
"You know what time it is, bitch, you know what time it is!
...what time is it?
..where am I?
...who are you?"
[–]divinesleeper 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
I like to imagine the other woman murdered her husband thirty years ago and all this time she had been training to get her revenge.
[–]Icutyourbrakes 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
This looks to be the trentonian...being from the area they sell this paper and just south of trenton this paper has gems all of the time...not sure the year but in the 80's a mental hospital burnt down during the Christmas holiday and their headline..."Roasted Nuts" pretty sure they got guff for that
[–]MasonJoody 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
Look, I know a lot of Reddit isn't from New Jersey so this may seem bizarre and hilarious to all of you. To us NJ residents, however, it should come as no surprise that a 61-year-old woman would need to have ninja skills and the balls to call someone a "bitch" in order to survive day-to-day life in Trenton.
[–]Ellinika 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Trenton suburb resident here: this is from the Trentonian. Is basically NJ's version of a shock newspaper. They're always showing really gory pictures from shootings and stuff, they have a "page 6" girl and have few, if any, relevant news material, besides sports.
[–]rfhofk 3 points4 points5 points 6 months ago
Colonel Stinkmeaner?
[–]The_Commander 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
And the woman looked around, horrified, unable to discern where the voice was coming from...
[–]Balubber_Mc_Fishsoup 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Great, now I got the song "Rollin'" by Limp Bizkit stuck in my head again...
[–]fish619407 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Master Splinter was never to be underestimated.
[–]jonbowen 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I don't think 61 is considered elderly.
[–]WeatherResize 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
More like r/awesome!
[–]JizzPoweredSteamboat 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
RAWESOME!
[–]what_american_dream 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
How far will a gallon of jizz power a steamboat?
[–]790FM 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
Gotta love NJ
[–]herpty_derpty 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Vader Time?
[–]Nrcs 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Conditions are perfect... There's nothing good on TV... Conditions are perfect!
[–]hoopycat 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Does anybody really know what time it is?
[–]haddock420 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Tenacious D time, ya mother fucker go!
[–]Mikey-2-Guns 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
....Hammer time?!
[–]Ceejae 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
This isn't WTF, that is just standard ninja conversation.
[–]whatwasigonnasay 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
You've got to be kidding me with these played out titles. Come on.
[–]yourmansconnect 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Someone make a granny ninja video game
[–]nouveaux21 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
IT'S GOOFY TIME!!!
[–]LedgerJessy23 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Oh god what paper? I hope it's the star ledger.
[–]takeme2infinity 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Adventure Time !!
[–]kajamakat 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
This story sounds like a scene from Kill Bill 3.
[–]bozzwtf 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Man I love NJ
[–]seeuspacecowboy 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
This is why we need to stop making violent video games, the elderly population is far too impressionable.
[–]kisforkat 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
I miss my home state. Can't wait to be back for the summer!
[–]Girlshatebrian[] 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
The Spin Doctor's replied, "4:30?"
[–]thisismymoniker 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Hahaha you deserve many upvotes
[–]AzureBlu 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
STOP. HAMMERTIME!
[–]rcgarcia 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
So you have an idea.
[–]WendyLRogers3 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
The romanticization of ninjas has long made me curl my lip.
Ninjas were originally very young orphans, or children taken from or sold by their parents, to be abusively trained as "one use" assassins. They were utterly expendable and held lower social rank than the lowest class, fishermen. Zero honor.
If they were killed while trying to murder whatever noble lord they had been sent to kill, nobody cared. If they failed to kill him and were chased off, or even accomplished their mission and returned home, they would be killed by their owner to conceal the evidence, as it was seen as very bad taste for nobles to send assassins against other nobles.
As early as the Meiji Restoration (1868), though the ninja were long gone, they were romanticized in Japan, to make them seem dashing, daring, and relevant. Which is about as realistic as Italian Hercules movies.
[–]STYLIE 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
61 is elderly? That's not even retirement age.
[–]IamZimbra 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Here's the story: http://www.trentonian.com/article/20071104/TMP01/311049993/elderly-ninja-attacks-woman-with-cleaver
[–]Kendown 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
What teenager wrote the article? Who calls someone 61, elderly??
[–]SexyPengu1n 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
Geez.. people get so touchy when you ask for the time...
[–]oldballz 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
As an older redditor I would like to point out that referring to a 61 year old as "Elderly" hurt my feelings and with all due respect I would invite the author of that headline to go fuck themselves.
[–]ciscomd 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
61 is elderly now? Yes, very WTF.
[–]cornponious 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago*
It definitely goes in WTF, because 61 is not elderly.
EDIT: It
[–]OMROKER 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
its clobbering time!
[–]Duhbill 1 point2 points3 points 6 months ago
False. Ninjas don't use meat clevers.
[–]JesusChristophe 7 points8 points9 points 6 months ago
Clever, but FALSE.
Ninja use the best available weapon at-hand. Cleavers included.
[–]TheDespondentZombie 4 points5 points6 points 6 months ago
Especially a ninja disguised as a butcher. True ninja hide in plain sight.
[–]Richeh 6 points7 points8 points 6 months ago
Pfff, that's what they tell the fat ninja kid who can't keep up.
True ninja hide on the fucking ceiling.
[–]TheDespondentZombie 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
I am currently looking at my ceiling and see a total of zero ninja so I believe you are correct.
[–]zenmunster 2 points3 points4 points 6 months ago
Ninja bring death with any instrument. You no hear of decapitation by butter knife?? It is slow painful death.
[–]warpinator 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Sometimes I love living in Jersey.
[–]Megadanxzero 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
It's Business Time...
[–]hicerion 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I'm pretty sure we can just say that most things from Jersey belong here.
[–]BearsFan24 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I thought all the crazy shit happened in Australia.
[–]kryptick 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I want to read the rest of the article! Granni had a meat cleaver? WTF
[–]CaptainBus 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Elderly ninja wait in the shadows of charity shops. They strike without fear ...or bladder control.
[–]bobo333 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
of course, it would be from jersey
[–]blankey2 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Uh. Ninja time?
[–]OfeyDofey 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I <3 NJ
[–]arieleislittle 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I'm from NJ! What paper was this in?!
[–]Carstin 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
The only thing that could have made the article even more fucked up was if it was written by Bill Murray!
[–]Kuhio_Prince 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Chico time?
[–]_whatever_you_like_ 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
NJ is full of ninjas.
[–]the_denizen 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
That does need to be a story. I, a writer, shall undertake this commission!
[–]Heyheypeeps 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
It's business time...
[–]jwallace582 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
How does one hold 3 knives and a meat cleaver?
[–]LegacyBen2213 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I cannot stop laughing. No matter how hard I try.
[–]mhorlick 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
perhaps you should make sure this goes here before posting next time
[–]cannotlogon 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
TIL elderly ninjas don't wear watches.
[–]weinerdudley 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Another reason im proud to say I live in the garden state..
[–]NotVerySmarts 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Sometimes it pays to own a watch.
[–]SpikeDirt 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I remember when the Roger Clemens sorry came out...the Trentonian had on the cover page..."He Takes It In The Butt!"...The Trentonian is the shit...
[–]hookeman 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Source Please. And dont tell me this is from lemondogs 3rd edition because then i have seen it all. Fucking Shoulderblades!
[–]TannerLynn1 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I wanna read the whole article
[–]stonak10 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I grew up in Trenton, ninja attacks are a common occurrence here. Keeps the citizens in line.
[–]Diabolicism 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago*
As a person from Jersey, This behaviour is normal. Two years or so ago, we had a person from here decapitate an intruder in their home with a Katana.
Edit - Source
[–]theNinjahs 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
We do not discriminate based on age.
[–]long_wang_big_balls 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
three knives, including a meat clever
She doesn't muck around. Holy shit.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
According to a previous comment above, it was her skull. She cut her ear off.
[–]porkfatty 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
She's muff cabbage!
[–]bularon 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
SUPER NINJA VANISH THROWS FIRE EXTINGUISHER ON FLOOR POOF
[–]UrbanDescentia 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
r/nocontext material if I've ever seen it.
[–]wittystonecat 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago*
Some more great stories from The Trentonian...
http://imgur.com/qIt1b
http://imgur.com/6e2sh
http://imgur.com/mfeMG
[–]Kobrazx 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
holy shit! i live in Trenton, NJ O.o
[–]VidenTheColdOne 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Dear god, I live in Trenton. What paper was this from?
[–]WAMP_WAMP 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Oh' Rowan Towers....place is so hood
[–]DegeneratePaladin 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I love my state.
[–]stimilon 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
How come if you search any of these phrases in google this post is the only result? What paper did it come from? What day?
[–]whut 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Yes. I do, in fact, know what time it is.
[–]jacobsaarela 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
"It's for OLD times sake!"
[–]GReggzz732 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Oh God....is this from the Trentonian???
[–]exomiller 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
gloryhole gladiator
[–]CFGX 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
As a New Jersey native, this is perfectly normal. Trenton is a known elderly ninja training camp.
[–]megganmuffins 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
we've all been had, ninjas don't age and women can't possibly yield more than one kitchen utensil at time. let's be real.
[–]Box_of_Shit 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
..was it Tool Time?
[–]becomingk 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Today I'm thankful that my office has security guards. Good ole' Trenton, keeping it classy.
[–]nicetryguy6 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
This also happened in 2007
[–]ahydell 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
WHAT'S THE FREQUENCY KENNETH?
[–]Beeslo 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Ninjas don't announce themselves! And they certainly don't leave their victims alive to talk to the police. What a horrible ninja. You'd think they'd be a pro at this considered she was over 60 years old.
[–]thefilmjerk 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I didn't know Bill Murray's brother still wrote for that paper.
[–]Nj_all_day 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
We have a magazine called "Weird NJ" so stuff like this does not surprise me.
[–]a066684 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
I enjoyed the title. Now I dislike you for not including the rest of the story! Haha I must search for it...
[–]DeadbyDagger 0 points1 point2 points 6 months ago
Trenton? Must be the Trentonian. I live around that area. If its the same paper, they are known for they're golden headlines ad stories. Hahaha always get a laugh.
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