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all 84 comments

[–]building_a_moat 49 points50 points ago

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Nailed it.

[–]cephalgia 4 points5 points ago

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[–]NarwhaleMadness 7 points8 points ago

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A standard code sequence in any r/atheism thread

If(picture.containsJesus()) post("Nailed it.");

[–]emospartan911 1 point2 points ago

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do mind if i copy paste this as replies to those who do this?

[–]NarwhaleMadness 1 point2 points ago

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Of course not!

[–]ralph-j 1 point2 points ago

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In this case I'll have to throw an exception.

[–]Nisas 0 points1 point ago

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try{
    crucifyJesus();
}catch(montyException& e){
    printf("Always think on the bright side of life.");
}

[–]adwarakanath -1 points0 points ago

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end

[–]BipolarBear0 20 points21 points ago

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I don't.

[–]Skwerl23 5 points6 points ago

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this. op must be fresh on the scene.

[–]YourBrotherHermano 1 point2 points ago

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Why are you being downvoted? I knew about this joke before I knew about the internet.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ender1337otron 0 points1 point ago

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See what I mean.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]furryspoon 2 points3 points ago

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Indeed, Nazareth didn't exist until 100 years after Jesus was supposed to have been born. I think there's a reasonable explanation for this (that Jesus belonged to a cult called the "Nazoreans" and "Nazareth" was a misunderstanding), however, there's no "historical accuracy" to speak of here, since there's essentially no verification of Jesus outside the Bible, and the bible gets many historical events wrong.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I'm no theologist but I was raised by one. As I understand it, the Bible is not the only documentation Jesus existed. I won't try and rattle off the evidence, largely because it's not my game, but there is proof enough the man lived.

Incidentally, the Koran comes to mind. Go figure.

[–]BipolarBear0 0 points1 point ago

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The torture of a man 2000 years ago does not affect me. Do you feel guilt for all the soldiers killed during the Roman-Etruscan wars?

[–]furryspoon -1 points0 points ago

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You could also come to the conclusion that Jesus was not the son of man but honestly mistaken.

[–]Tingawinga5 2 points3 points ago

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Nailed it? No the pic is wrong, Jesus had nails through his wrists

[–]Rothers 2 points3 points ago

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How to Reddit: 1. Find something someone else did that is amusing. 2. Wait 3. Wait longer for more karma 4. Repost and bask in your sneakiness.

[–]mtldude1967 5 points6 points ago

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If he was really omnipotent he could clap his hands.

[–]Chewy79 4 points5 points ago

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if you are an atheist, you clearly have no morals, you are either lying about feeling bad, or you are a god loving fundie!

[–]SaltyPan 2 points3 points ago

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joke, yes? It's too late for me to tell...

[–]Chewy79 0 points1 point ago

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yes

[–]SaltyPan 0 points1 point ago

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Oh good.

[–]Notacalculator 0 points1 point ago

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CHECKMATE ATHEISTS

[–]JLW09 -2 points-1 points ago

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No atheism doesnt mean disrespecting other religions it just means not believing so atheist can feel bad.

[–]Hypersapien 1 point2 points ago

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Personally, I'm partial to this one

[–]WhatsAJesus 1 point2 points ago

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Don't feel bad you're laughing at something imaginary, ergo his feelings can't be hurt :D

[–]kxb3604 1 point2 points ago

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Why feel bad for laughing at someone who didn't exist?

[–]ThisIsJayC 1 point2 points ago

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http://youtu.be/JIBTAgy6CDU

It had to be done.

[–]Chazebo12 3 points4 points ago

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This is in poor taste, regardless of one's stance on religion.

[–]cdegon 3 points4 points ago

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If you make a joke about something that DOESN'T exist, is it really in poor taste? Climb down from your high horse, it's a joke! You've NEVER laughed at an offensive joke!!!????

[–]science_diction 0 points1 point ago*

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Crucifixtion doesn't exist?

The Appian Way - have you heard of it?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appian_way

The problem with asking if you've laughed at an "offensive joke" is that it obviously has to be inoffensive to the person finding humor in it. So no, people can't laugh at "offensive" jokes by the very definition of the word.

[–]cdegon 0 points1 point ago

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The photo was suggesting "Jesus's" crucifixion. It is plainly obvious that it does exist or has existed in the past. As for the offensive part, I've laughed at jokes that are offensive based merely on the cleverness of the joke, so yes you can!

[–]Flamewall26 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus is a historical figure who was crucified. Despite your assumption to the contrary, history does not tend to bend itself to your lack of knowledge.

[–]cdegon 0 points1 point ago

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Any time Jesus is involved, history and truth are bent! By the way it's not an assumption, it's fact!.

[–]Flamewall26 0 points1 point ago

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So historical texts besides the bible are bent due to Jesus' presence as well then, right?

[–]cdegon 0 points1 point ago

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No more than stories of santa Claus.

[–]Jeezafobic 1 point2 points ago

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All the little Catholic girls are wearing, around their necks, this guy dying on an instrument of torture. Even in real gold this is in poor taste, no?

[–]science_diction 0 points1 point ago

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I'm not Christian by any means, but symbolism - have you fucking heard of it?

[–]cephalgia 1 point2 points ago

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Symbolism is great, but do you think that if Jesus had been hung that Catholics would be wearing a noose on a chain?

Jeeza has a valid point: of all the things associated with Jesus to pick as a symbol, the church chose a device of torture? I guess that does go well with the lifelong guilt trip.

[–]furryspoon 1 point2 points ago

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I think it's simply black humor - where taste doesn't really matter much.

Sometimes jokes about people dying are funny. What is funny is weird

[–]Calsun 1 point2 points ago

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Reminds me of a joke...

Why do women love jesus?

Cause he's hung like this(slowly increase size until arms are fully extended, then hang hands down in air)

[–]JesusChristophe 0 points1 point ago

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clap clap

[–]BarcodeNinja 0 points1 point ago

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Stop making r/atheism into a stupid place. What does this picture do besides trying to elicit a cheap laugh? There is no idea being espoused or refuted here, just a vapid joke being made for karma.

[–]TheHanyo 1 point2 points ago

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There are few places in this world where religion is an acceptable target of comedy, crude or otherwise. I think we all agree that /r/atheism should be one of those places. It doesn't need to be philosophy and scholarly discussion 24/7.

[–]furryspoon 1 point2 points ago

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Sometimes people just want a cheap laugh

[–]Jeezafobic 0 points1 point ago

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I think that what it does, in answer to your question, is convey what some treat as a "sacred" and magical and even worshipped image is just not that. If I didn't have to see crucifix idols hanging everywhere from necks to churches this would not have evoked a laugh.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Nothing ruins some really great cleavage like a crucifix necklace....

[–]Trogdor86 0 points1 point ago

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Don't. A version of this has been my homescreen for months.

[–]FloatingNose 0 points1 point ago

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[–]theceasar 0 points1 point ago

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I always feel bad when these make me laugh, not sure why.

[–]science_diction 0 points1 point ago

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That's fucking disrespectful for every person who was ever crucified by the Roman Empire, especially someone crucified just to appease the Sanhedrin for being a Roman / Jewish halfbreed who might become a ruler, hence "king of the jews".

[–]rpeg 0 points1 point ago

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Why is it that you feel bad?

[–]marathon_ 0 points1 point ago

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Its gonna be hard to resist forwarding this one to my christian friends.

[–]obievil 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was funny, perhaps distasteful but funny

[–]PixyFreakingSticks 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus was a revolutionary figure who rose up and fought economic and religious oppression and was murdered and tortured for it in a terribly brutal way. I'm no Christian, but... I dunno, maybe I've just got a stick up my ass, but I don't see why this is funny at all. Jesus was a pretty awesome guy considering the time he came out of. Regardless of how Christians view him, I think he deserves some respect.

[–]BenAndSperrys17 0 points1 point ago

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You people seriously make me never want to come on reddit again.

[–]shagui 0 points1 point ago

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still laughing... no shame or guilt about it.

funny, but not REAL enough for me to fell bad.

[–]ninesie 0 points1 point ago

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Why feel bad? You aren't actually hurting anyone?

[–]Ezuri 0 points1 point ago

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chuckled and didn't feel bad at all

[–]blue64 0 points1 point ago

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lmao..

[–]RatbikeJim 0 points1 point ago

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somewhere there's a redditor names Christian, clapping his hands.

[–]KingoftheBritons2113 0 points1 point ago

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....and then the room goes silent

[–]Capernakis 0 points1 point ago

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must....not....laugh....

[–]HiroPetrelli 0 points1 point ago

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I am 51 yo and was raised in a catholic family in France. Here is one of my sweet memories from catechism when I was a kid.

Having been taught about Jesus' various sufferings prior to his death and because these were so much publicized by the Catholic church, I asked the priest instructor if it was right that nobody had suffered more than Jesus in the history of humanity.

Without even blinking, the bastard lied to the child I was just for the sake of propaganda.

Since then, I learnt that there is no limit to the imagination of men when it comes to devise new ways to make others suffer. I also learnt that trusting imaginary entities to solve that problem was going nowhere.

[–]Fehndrix 0 points1 point ago

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This could be x-posted to /r/ImGoingToHellForThis

[–]iIStheKirk 0 points1 point ago

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I feel the same way too

[–]s-tygian 0 points1 point ago

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Choked on my laughter. Didn't feel bad.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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This made me laugh until pain. Its gonna kill me in the morning when I'm sober and totally forgot I put this as my background.

[–]DynamicRabbit 0 points1 point ago

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Hah. My girlfriend (at the time) almost dumped me for sending her a similar image.

[–]skizzt 0 points1 point ago

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Hahahhaha have not laughed that hard at a picture in quite awhile.

[–]SethIsInSchool 0 points1 point ago

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Poor guy. Tried to make the world a better place by pretending to be the son of god. THE WRONG PEOPLE BELIEVED HIM. THE WROOOOONNNGGGG PEOPLE. And thusly he got hung like a painting. AHAHAHA JUST THOUGHT OF A JOKE, OKAY, HERE IT IS: "I've heard Jesus is well-hung." Yeah, just thought of that all on my own. Everyone have a good day, now. :P

[–]konaarairii 0 points1 point ago

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Nothing to feel bad about.

[–]bhaku 0 points1 point ago

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Mmh. I really thought this was /r/Atheism and not /r/AntiChristianity.

Oh well

[–]meleeman09 0 points1 point ago

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Why feel bad, this just made my day.

[–]fmr30 -2 points-1 points ago

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Mine too

[–]knead 0 points1 point ago

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Why feel bad?

[–]Gnippots -2 points-1 points ago

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I winced and laughed at the same time imagining him trying to.

Didn't feel bad though.

[–]cdegon -1 points0 points ago

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BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! I just shat myself! LMFAO!!!!!

[–]Dark_wing_duck -1 points0 points ago

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I don't feel bad about it at all

[–]BlackKn1ght -1 points0 points ago

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And the bastard isn't clapping...

[–]tnakonom -1 points0 points ago

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I hate you Ky7e, all that girl just saw as she walked by was me laughing like a lunatic at a picture of Jesus on the cross.

[–]pacman20 -2 points-1 points ago

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You weren't the only one

[–]Arrested-Smokie -2 points-1 points ago

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Its funny, if you are atheist and you post this in /r/Atheism WHY DO YOU FEEL BAD FOR LAUGHING AT THIS ?