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top 200 commentsshow all 227

[–]ijoden 180 points181 points ago

"Yer a boxer Rocky"

[–]stirling_archer 61 points62 points ago

Haim ha hwah?

[–]JookJook 17 points18 points ago

Amazing. I was able to read that in sylvester stallones voice.

[–]I_Fuking_Love_Pandas 0 points1 point ago

I first read this in Lee Sin's voice. I need to cut back on LoL.

[–]RiPotato 0 points1 point ago

If you read random comments on a subreddit completely unrelated from LoL in a champion's voice, then yes.

[–]PoisonMind 10 points11 points ago

I read this in Burgess Meredith's voice.

[–]helicalhell 2 points3 points ago

Bring my jocks here 'Arry.

[–]her0thesuper 1 point2 points ago

Fucking Genius

[–]GeneralWarts 129 points130 points ago

"Expect-Yo Adrian!"

[–]solidwhetstone 75 points76 points ago

[–]JAV0K 45 points46 points ago

I admire your courage for putting your face on reddit.

[–]ihatebigspoon 14 points15 points ago

May I ask why you are in hospital?

Edit: nvm checked history

[–]1Avion1 5 points6 points ago

[–]solidwhetstone 20 points21 points ago

Thanks for sharing that with me! I don't think they understood my comment haha. Oh well. That's SRS for ya.

[–]anonysera 13 points14 points ago

Once again, SRS fails to differentiate between a serious statement and someone making a joke.

[–]dickcheney777 4 points5 points ago

That would threaten the very existence of that shitty sub...

[–]master_of_unlocking -1 points0 points ago

Once again, someone makes a rape joke ಠ_ಠ

[–]CreamedButtz 6 points7 points ago

Surely you'll stop the rape jokes with all those downvotes.

[–]Drop_WP_Not_Bombs 2 points3 points ago

It's against SRS policy to downvote.

/r/ShitRedditSays is not a downvote brigade. Do not downvote any comments in the threads linked from here! Pretend the rest of Reddit is a museum of poop. Don't touch the poop.

[–]master_of_unlocking 0 points1 point ago

I didn't downvote anyone.

[–]snailwithmonocle -2 points-1 points ago*

They don't fail, they just take it very seriously.

Edit: Hey, I'm just stating what they are about.

[–]anonysera 3 points4 points ago

This is /r/funny. People make jokes, some of them you may find inappropriate. Move on with your life. I don't go off on Eddie Murphy every time he makes a racist joke, nor do I go off on Daniel Tosh every time he makes a fucked up joke, both of which happen on a regular basis.

[–]Naldaen 1 point2 points ago

Oh no, I got banned from a sub-reddit full of mouth breathing fucks who can't even spell banned.

[–]Measly 2 points3 points ago

Hey, let's not hate on mouth-breathers here.

[–]Commercialtalk -2 points-1 points ago

yeah rape isnt funny.

[–]Petninja 3 points4 points ago

If would be if you'd fucking laugh!

[–]Commercialtalk -2 points-1 points ago

I cant laugh at the suffering of others.

[–]Petninja 0 points1 point ago

Remember, rapists are just having sex. It's the other person that makes it rape.

[–]Tashre 3 points4 points ago

Srs, where users who make jokes about rape go to get raped.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

Being called out for your bullshit on the Internet is literally the same thing as being violated sexually.

[–]CreamedButtz 1 point2 points ago

Danger! Danger! The garden is in full bloom; there's too much butthurt to contain!

[–]thefloyd -3 points-2 points ago

Joke was tasteless, response stupid. If only we lived in a world where rape jokes and self-righteous armchair feminism were equally as frowned upon.

[–]SRS_Invasion_Bot 0 points1 point ago

Vamos, the ShitRedditSays Ministry of TruthTM are here to save Reddit from your patriarchal comments! The Gynocracy has decided your comments are front-page worthy, and the following dildz wielding SRSers are here to re-educate you:

Active SRS Poster Invader Score Fempire Loyalty
Commercialtalk 17 49.83
Drop_WP_Not_Bombs 13 48.48
master_of_unlocking 3 51.69

Why is this here? What does it mean?

[–]I_RAPE_WITH_SPOONS 0 points1 point ago

Rape I hear?!

[–]Disconcerted -1 points0 points ago

THE FACE OF A r/CrappyDesign MOD! I like. :D

[–]spazzmckiwi 1 point2 points ago

My eyes, my fucking eyes!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]solidwhetstone 22 points23 points ago

Way to assume the worst in people. You'll go far in life with that mindset.

[–]Kempiet 1 point2 points ago

Are you in hospital?

[–]abhepali 2 points3 points ago

Yo Paulie!!

[–]Bobsentme 40 points41 points ago

I'd pay to see a remake done with him and a machine gun style wand.

[–]ColrathD 28 points29 points ago

And instead of Hogwarts they're in Nam.

[–]HumpingDog 13 points14 points ago

Stallone's the only one who doesn't use a wand and instead has a machine gun. Everyone else uses wands, except they're really just sticks.

[–]qweoin 12 points13 points ago

This is actually a pretty good description of the enemies' guns in Rambo movies.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Actually, I kept hoping that the films would do some more creative things with wands than the books did. Hagrid had his in an umbrella, Lucius had one inside a cane. I was hoping for awesome things like wands inside swords, wizards dual-wielding wands, giant wands (a.k.a. staffs) making an appearance, sorta like the bazooka of the wizarding world. I was hoping to see the film crew come up with some more inventive ways to do magic than pointing foot-long sticks.

[–]HumpingDog 7 points8 points ago

Someone with a stub leg should have made it a wand-cannon.

[–]DerpJam89 1 point2 points ago

I have a wand cannon inside my penis. Giggity.

[–]ungolden_glitter 1 point2 points ago

Hagrid's is inside an umbrella because he wasn't supposed to have a wand anymore. Apparently putting it inside a flowery pink umbrella seemed like a great way to hide the fact that he still owned and used it. Lucius's cane acts more like a fancy wand-holder, rather than being magical itself. I'll agree, though, and say it's really neat.

The film crew can only be so creative before they completely diverge from the books and piss off the uber-fans who look for continuity and adherence to canon.

[–]TransAm 2 points3 points ago

You might enjoy this short read called "Why Harry Potter Should Have Carried an M1911".

[–]Kingofthestoneage 2 points3 points ago

Something like this?

[–]Ziczak 1 point2 points ago

I'd watch that.

[–]haiku_robot 1 point2 points ago

I'd pay to see a 
remake done with him and a 
machine gun style wand.

[–]MrNewguy 48 points49 points ago

Professor Drago kills Apollo Creed in book six.

[–]filmfiend999 27 points28 points ago

..book IV.

[–]MrNewguy 3 points4 points ago

Let's just split the difference and assume the Apollo Creed would die in Book V.

[–]eganist 4 points5 points ago

either I'm missing a joke or you mistyped VI.

[–]Zeamouhn 29 points30 points ago

He didn't, Ivan Drago killed Apollo Creed in Rocky IV.

[–]CarnivorousAvenger 4 points5 points ago

"If he dies, he dies."

[–]t_base 2 points3 points ago

The only time I've cried in a movie.

[–]FAFASGR 6 points7 points ago

and snape kills dumbledore in hp 6

[–]intothecold 8 points9 points ago

you're missing a joke.

[–]CarnivorousAvenger 1 point2 points ago

Dumbledore: get up ya bum!

[–]NorrisOnAShark 64 points65 points ago

"Expecto Stallone'em"

[–]gathering_storm 69 points70 points ago

I can never forget this.

[–]sje46 7 points8 points ago

My mind is unable to make the words fit.

[–]tommypickles33 4 points5 points ago

That tends to happen to closet nudists.

[–]sje46 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, well...shuddup.

[–]PriestmanX 3 points4 points ago

There's a slight pause. It's pinned to...MY SCROTUM. Expecto = It's pinned to. Patronum = MY SCROTUM

[–]fswmacguy 0 points1 point ago

"It's best to butt-screw them."

[–]lillepott 11 points12 points ago

This makes me wonder what happens to wizards/witches who have a speech impediment. Is their medicine advanced enough to cure these things very early on or will they have some special education, seeing as they wouldn't be able to cast spells properly?

[–]Freddie_AppsHero 9 points10 points ago

Try not to think about how broken the universe is. I mean, Voldemort could just A-bomb Hogwarts, wizard war over.

Try not to think about it.

[–]TaiWilson 4 points5 points ago

That's a really good point. And what if a wizard is deaf and can't even hear his or her own voice?

Sure, there are deaf people who can learn to speak using their voice, but few can do it flawlessly.

Although, it's been shown that wizards can cast magic without speaking. A good example is pretty much everything Harry did at the Dursley's during the first part of 'Prisoner of Azkaban'.

[–]zHellas 4 points5 points ago

Well, apparently in one book (Book 4 - Book 6, around that section), Snape/Someone Else teaches the students how to cast spells without having to use their voice.

[–]TaiWilson 1 point2 points ago

Neat. Unfortunately, I'm woefully ignorant of the books content.

I only read up to 'Order of the Phoenix', and that was years ago.

I seriously need to re-read the series one of these days. Or at least read the ones I never got around to.

[–]LiquorballSandwich 3 points4 points ago

Haha you just made me picture Jimmy from south park trying to cast a spell.

[–]Magnon 0 points1 point ago

A-a-a-avada ka-da-da-da-da-davra, right guys?

[–]railmaniac 7 points8 points ago

Turns out 'the power the dark lord knows not' is a Colt Magnum.

[–]long_live_king_melon 4 points5 points ago*

I'm surprised nobody ever contacted the muggles and told them to just shoot the fuck out of voldemort. Because it seemed a lot of wizards are baffled by muggle technology, so the same might apply to voldemort. I mean, it's worth a shot (pun intended).

[–]PriestmanX 0 points1 point ago

Yeah I know most wizarding places fucked with electrical devices but a revolver is pure mechanical.

[–]Infra-roodborstje 28 points29 points ago

Looks like Gabe Newell in his prime.

[–]BaconandCabbage 4 points5 points ago

This thread is now about Gabe Newell

[–]Johnny__Christ 1 point2 points ago

So I'm not the only one who saw it.

[–]Aewawa 0 points1 point ago

Of course not, the first thing I did was Ctrl + F "gabe"

[–]HaegrTheMountain 9 points10 points ago

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Ron Weasley...or...Hermione Granger.

[–]Borimi 23 points24 points ago

Get to ze Portkey! We've got to get owt of here!

[–]fifa10 14 points15 points ago

And Samuel Jackson as Hermione : "Say mudblood one more time mothafuka"

[–]Borimi 2 points3 points ago

Parseltongue, muthafucka! Do you speak it?!

[–]russian_unicycle 0 points1 point ago

And John Travolta as Neville Longbottom: "You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in Hogsmeade?"

[–]Titcow 8 points9 points ago

Voldemort drew first blood! Not me!

[–]FAFASGR 1 point2 points ago

Rambo Potter

[–]FellateFoxes 4 points5 points ago

"Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stallone"

[–]AndrewEire 19 points20 points ago

here's Arnold Weasley http://imgur.com/5TAZ0

[–]fifa10 19 points20 points ago

Now do a Samuel Jackson Hermione...

[–]cristti 2 points3 points ago

Strong photoshop skills, bro.

[–]stash0606 0 points1 point ago

we are in the company of wizards after all.

[–]Razenghan 3 points4 points ago

Permanent Stupefy.

[–]demonthenese 2 points3 points ago

why........................................................................?

[–]elaphros 2 points3 points ago

I was really hoping this was the cast of HP in Rock Horror Picture show garb.

[–]ShamanSTK 0 points1 point ago

Or at least Emma Watson in a corset.

[–]kornfpi 5 points6 points ago

Would have made me watch the movies if real :(

[–]bluereindeer 3 points4 points ago

oh man, this is like... I don't even... it's awesome

[–]Theemuts 5 points6 points ago

He would've died during one of the first lessons he had attended due to mispronunciating a chant.

[–]doctormauer 1 point2 points ago

Downvote because repost

[–]lockportjazzshoes 1 point2 points ago

dislike.

[–]technofiend 1 point2 points ago

I was really hoping ths was the other interpretation: Harry Potter doing Rocky Horror. Still funny, though.

[–]LeperFriend 1 point2 points ago

Am I the only one who expected Daniel Radcliffe dressed like frank from the rocky horror picture show?

[–]Bale838 1 point2 points ago

See, this kinda saddened me. I was really hoping for rocky horror.

[–]JiveMonkey 1 point2 points ago

Well then, I have news for you /r/rhps

;)

[–]Bale838 0 points1 point ago

I can live with this.

[–]Soulrave 3 points4 points ago

if he punches Voldemort in the nose... oh wait

[–]awesomedave680 3 points4 points ago

[–]s123579 1 point2 points ago

am I the only one who is slightly disturbed but also kinda wish it was like that?

[–]Freddie_AppsHero 1 point2 points ago

Harry Potter vs Rocky. That'd be a good fight.

[–]Needmorecowbe11 1 point2 points ago

Dammit Janet. I was hoping for "Rocky Potter Picture Show"!

[–]CiD7707 2 points3 points ago

I was expecting Rocky Horror. Very disappointed.

[–]AriasBrokenMirror 1 point2 points ago

S'okay mate, me too. This is still funny, but I was expecting corsets and make up.

[–]CiD7707 1 point2 points ago

I don't know why we are getting downvoted. Anybody that has seen RHPS should understand the confusion.

[–]ojiab 0 points1 point ago

No more magic. :D I'm sure He uses his wand as a melee weapon.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

These gritty Hollywood reboots are starting to get weird...

[–]lst2 0 points1 point ago

The caption from the G4 page: All his life, this self-taught wizard never got a break...until a million-to-one shot to duel Voldemort fell into his lap.

They fought, then became friends before some juiced-up Russian beat Voldy to death in the ring, which he then avenged. Pretty much standard stuff at Mighty Mick's Gym of Wizard Schooling.

Also, much like Rocky Balboa and Harry Potter, he nailed his best friend's sister.

It said this was the source

[–]redditchao999 0 points1 point ago

Needs to happen.

[–]vn2090 0 points1 point ago

"so's then i told the death eater M60's don't have a soul"

[–]Dragon_Champ 0 points1 point ago

Potter now has bigger boobs than Granger

[–]Mangalores 0 points1 point ago

Harry Balboa sounds funnier

[–]dkeon 0 points1 point ago

ANGUS BALBOA...LET THERE BE ROCK!

[–]virtual133 0 points1 point ago

Thanks, just sat here for a good minute loling

[–]TFJ 0 points1 point ago

YER A WIZAHD, ROCK

[–]foreverscrollin 0 points1 point ago

No one can blame me if I thought about Rule 34.

[–]Ex_Tractor_Fan 0 points1 point ago

Somebody should post this to /r/guyswithhpg.

[–]businesscatdog 0 points1 point ago

there was absolutely no need for something like this to ever be made

[–]sweetlincolnsmullet 0 points1 point ago

I think the Harry Potter movies would have been much better if Harry popped his shirt off and got an 80s training montage going before fighting Voldemort every movie.

[–]Wissam24 0 points1 point ago

Does he face off against Ivan Draco?

[–]Jolly_Fox 0 points1 point ago

Quite the diamond in the rough

[–]SomeDanGuy 0 points1 point ago

Ok, who was on "Knight of New" duty when this thing surfaced?

[–]notanotherpyr0 0 points1 point ago

The deadliest foe ever, you would never know what spell he just cast.

[–]Brandonite 0 points1 point ago

Does anyone else think he looks more like Hermoine?

[–]LeFraz 0 points1 point ago

The man who lived.

[–]Kadmium 0 points1 point ago

Anybody else getting a Paul McCartney vibe?

[–]ganymedesearat 0 points1 point ago

I feel like Gaben potter is the next step. Who wants to take this idea, and reap the delicious karma?

[–]Chug_bleach 0 points1 point ago

It's not completely obvious, but this is fake.

[–]fuzzycuffs 0 points1 point ago

I wonder of these things start with a goal (photoshop Rocky + Harry) or it just comes about when people start mucking about with photoshop.

[–]JFow82 0 points1 point ago

I think this belongs in /r/WTF

[–]Burgess66 0 points1 point ago

Rambo with a wand. Voldemort is totally screwed.

[–]Bluaaah 0 points1 point ago

'ey.

[–]SlyFunkyMonk 0 points1 point ago

Why do I see Alternate Dimension GabeN?

[–]zuzah 0 points1 point ago

This is why Photoshop was invented.

[–]Viper_H 0 points1 point ago

Someone put me back in the fridge...

[–]sweetgreerchic 0 points1 point ago

I finally got my stern husband to laugh at something...Well done.

[–]youshouldbereading 0 points1 point ago

"It's a nice broomstick. I don't know."

[–]atheist_libertarian 0 points1 point ago

Anyone else come here for Rocky Dennis and now totally disappointed?

[–]tomtom547 0 points1 point ago

HES A WITCHIN MACHINE

[–]nationalhonorroll 0 points1 point ago

why is this a thing?

[–]NeonNintendo 0 points1 point ago

" 'Yo Dumbledore!"

[–]Countryb0y22 0 points1 point ago

A little creepy but Upvote anyway

[–]dmbmeg 0 points1 point ago

Who on earth would downvote this?!

[–]dlandry 0 points1 point ago

Whoaaaaadisturbing! Have an upvote?

[–]lovelydayfora 0 points1 point ago

"How do you like this robe? Is it too baggy?"

[–]blueblood09 0 points1 point ago

In book 5, he assembles a small army of rebel wizards called 'The Expendables'.

[–]ilikecommunitylots 0 points1 point ago

The Expecto-bles

[–]newgrl 0 points1 point ago

Well... that's disturbing.

[–]stash0606 0 points1 point ago

no resemblance... George Bush, on the other hand... and oh, hello fellow cricketer.

[–]herpberp 0 points1 point ago

before the fight with voldemort: "you gonna rig the bell? sniff dig dig"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Wigahrdum Levosah

[–]rokimaru 0 points1 point ago

Harry rambo

[–]BadBoyJH 0 points1 point ago

This is clearly photoshoped, the arms don't match up with the sleeves.

:|

[–]Great_Zarquon 0 points1 point ago

Darn. I though this was real.

[–]evil_otto 0 points1 point ago

Yo Adrian, I'm a Wizard!

[–]Lakritz -1 points0 points ago

"I appreciate it"

[–]agitated_bear -1 points0 points ago

GRAAWWWLBLLLE

[–]cupofworms -1 points0 points ago

oh man thats the stuff. if anybody here knows Stallone on a friendly basis you should ask him to do this for Funny or Die or something.

[–]DangerPo -1 points0 points ago

It looks like Daniel Radcliffe + Sylvester Stalone = Danny Devito

[–]Scardaddy -1 points0 points ago

why do people keep llinking this site, it is the mot annoying thing, just link the image, not the site... fools

[–]Sloppy1sts -1 points0 points ago

Hairy Balboa....

...eww.

[–]etc_fantus -1 points0 points ago

"10 point's to gryffindor"

[–]Supertycoon -1 points0 points ago

Not sure whether to upvote because awesome, or downvote because terrifying.

[–]chillyourgills -1 points0 points ago

He has his mother's eyes.

[–]mucocele -1 points0 points ago

He looks so natural.

[–]WookieTriumvirate -1 points0 points ago

i'm inexplicably aroused by this.

[–]caddycads -1 points0 points ago

You're a boxer harry!

[–]intel23 -1 points0 points ago

steroidus!!

[–]MRogue -1 points0 points ago

I understand the how, I have yet to understand the why.

[–]BenTheZombieKiller -1 points0 points ago

I'd watch it.

[–]SchroeKatz -1 points0 points ago

Well, his arms cut quite into his chest

[–]Ponelope -1 points0 points ago

not something i wanted to see while high...now its too late and i will not sleep tonight.

[–]Afinn2k9 -1 points0 points ago

You did it right

[–]asshatnowhere -1 points0 points ago

who needs a wand when you have cannons for arms?

[–]Nooreo -1 points0 points ago

Ayyyooo-er Hermione.

[–]BETAFrog -1 points0 points ago

Harry Balboa works better.

[–]marlajane -1 points0 points ago

bout shit myself when that come up

[–]eject_eject -1 points0 points ago

Where's his scar?

[–]Moderately_Moderate -1 points0 points ago

This would sure as hell make quidditch more interesting.

[–]klavierwerke -1 points0 points ago

IT'S THE EYE OF THE BASILISK!

[–]jtru4nt -1 points0 points ago

Well then. Now I have a confusing boner.