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Try this move in a fight sometime, tell me how it works out. (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Tao23

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[–]cdgroth 35 points36 points ago

A few months ago there was a gif showing a lion doing something like this.

The lion had failed in an ambush attack and had a water buffalo chasing it. The lion responded by laying down on its back. The buffalo walked up, presumably to try and gore the lion with its horns, but the lion grabbed its throat and ultimately killed it.

I've tried several searches for the gif or video of this, but was not successfull. Hope someone else remembers it and knows the link.

[–]markekraus 8 points9 points ago*

The position is an equally offensive and defensive position for animals with four sets of sharp-ass claws and sharp-ass teeth. On their feet, a cat has 2-3 weapons to dole out punishment with at a time. On their back they have 5. I venture to guess the only truly submissive position a cat has is with its tail to you and in full stride in any direction away from you.

edit: Spelling of dole corrected.

[–]vocabulary_man 11 points12 points ago

dull out punishment

dole out punishment

dole (verb): to give or distribute —usually used with out

[–]Candour 6 points7 points ago

Also bananas.

[–]Saan 1 point2 points ago

I like bananas.

[–]liltitus27 1 point2 points ago

oh, do you?

[–]JBro74 -1 points0 points ago

Also cling peaches in heavy syrup...oh wait,Del Monte...nvrmnd...

[–]LionEyes 1 point2 points ago

Thank you.

[–]BigClifty 5 points6 points ago

Bad luck buffalo:

Lion botches ambush, still gets killed.

[–]monochromatic_oeuvre 1 point2 points ago

Relevant.

[–]NotAnExpertWitness 8 points9 points ago

Google "Inverted Guard", Ryan Hall does it all the time.

[–]nuclearseraph 2 points3 points ago

Came here to make mention of this. Was not disappointed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFESLdwRsrQ&t=30s

[–]liltitus27 139 points140 points ago

hey, op, fuck you!

this doesn't belong in /r/wtf and you know it. you oughtta be ashamed! fuckin' asshole...

[–]Windexglow 22 points23 points ago

A lot of front page /r/wtf should belong in /r/funny.

[–]ChuckYoCouch 15 points16 points ago

Or /r/kindastrange.

[–]clamburger_ 16 points17 points ago*

Or /r/mildlyinteresting.

edit: typo

[–]MrWoosh 5 points6 points ago

Or /r/gore

[–]ZombieParadigm 2 points3 points ago

While watching, I was expecting the cat to either pee or projectile poo all up in the other cats face. Did not get, therefore it's definitely not WTF worthy.

[–]MrsAckAttack 3 points4 points ago

Yeah! Dick!

[–]Yoshi_Girl 31 points32 points ago

Crouching tiger, hidden anus.

[–]zakik88 4 points5 points ago

As a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu practitioner, I applaud this defence. It's called the Inverted Guard.

[–]the_merk 12 points13 points ago

it's a real position in bjj, the inverted guard.

[–]u8eR 1 point2 points ago*

It's also a great defensive position for cats because their hind legs are very powerful weapons. If you try holding a cat down on it's back or generally annoy it in some manner while it is sitting, it will try defending itself by attacking you with its hind legs to get you away from it. This is because its hinds legs are very powerful and they are able to move them very quickly. A lot of times you will see a cat lay down on its back (basically like this) when it is in defense mode, and this is precisely the reason.

[–]TheJack38 0 points1 point ago

I suspect it does not involve standing on your head against a corner.... But if it does, I want to learn it, because that would be hilarious to actually use. xD

[–]BeardMagic 5 points6 points ago

Here is a video of a Jiu Jitsu fighter using the technique a few months ago. (pulls guard at around :14 in.

[–]sparklyteenvampire 0 points1 point ago

That was one of the most boring and defensive matches I've seen. Hall's opponent didn't even try to pass until the end, and Hall wasn't very aggressive either.

I also think the "no points for the back if your legs are crossed" rule is retarded.

[–]fourpac -3 points-2 points ago

Inverted guard is ridiculously hard on your neck and shoulders. Don't try it if you are over 180 lbs. If you get stacked in that position, you better make an appointment with your chiropractor.

[–]the_merk 2 points3 points ago

it involvesbeing on your shoulders, touching your feet to the ground/your opponent, in a position remeniscent of trying to give yourself a beeje. here's a video demo-ing an attack from the position. they get into the position around 30s in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFESLdwRsrQ

[–]Partisan189 0 points1 point ago

Yea I remember seeing fighters doing that in MMA to attempt leglocks while their opponent has their back. Although this tactic always seemed pretty desperate and I rarely ever saw someone pull it off, in MMA at least.

[–]SeisGurl9 0 points1 point ago

Unless you don't watch it a lot you probably just don't notice the tactical aspect of it because this is essentially how I've seen most arm bars achieved successfully. It's just WAY faster.

[–]TheJack38 0 points1 point ago

well I'll be damned! You're right! xD Very cool that it even exist, actually xD

[–]SimilarImage 44 points45 points ago

Age User Title Reddit Cmnt Points
1 month Jollymelon And... ASSUME DEFENSIVE POSITION. /r/funny 18 311
1 month Arian88 Self-defense mechanism. The Animal Kingdom is extraordinary. /r/gifs 34 453
2 months Travisimus Activate Defenses /r/funny 102 733

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[–]ill_take_two 34 points35 points ago

Everyone please note that all of the previous submissions were to /r/funny and /r/gifs. This gif does not and has never belonged in /r/WTF.

[–]CptAlbatross 0 points1 point ago

Ah Similar images. Pointing out all the frauds on Reddit.

[–]montagv3 -1 points0 points ago

I'll let you ride on my skidoo.

[–]guntario -1 points0 points ago

I just want to know how so many people were able to get the same shot...

[–]Razeda 6 points7 points ago

Here's the video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxVtIj5D1eA

[–]01010001 3 points4 points ago

Thank you! I hate how everything is posted in animated GIF form.

[–]DjWater 2 points3 points ago

you obviously haven't seen the tornado guard in Brazilian jiu jitsu then

[–]DatGentleBruh 2 points3 points ago

I see you've never heard of capoeira.

[–]xenodius 1 point2 points ago

This comment should be at the top, because Capoeira is the coolest and perhaps the least practical martial art ever. =) I immediately thought, "OP, people do that in Capoeira fights!"

[–]zaclzip 8 points9 points ago

I was expecting it to release a stream of shit in self-defense.

[–]fuzio 4 points5 points ago

My cat does something similar anytime she plays

[–]thatfatguy481 1 point2 points ago

Worked good for eddie in tekken.....ive spent half the match in that position winning.

[–]catherineruth 0 points1 point ago

Haha spin spins spin... Spin spin spin... Spin spin spin!! Such a dog move but always good to use when you were almost finished yourself.

[–]MrConfucius 1 point2 points ago

This belongs in funny, but I fuckin' love it.

[–]Zrais 1 point2 points ago

STOP POSTING THIS

[–]ottovonbizmarkie 1 point2 points ago

If you've done capoiera, you sometimes do fight from positions like that one.

[–]evyajs 1 point2 points ago

To be honest, it kind of made my attacker/rapists day a little easier.

[–]insanitybook 3 points4 points ago

Cat A: "Oh, yeah? Well, let's see how you feel about THIS!"

Cat B: "What are you gonna do, yoga me to death?"

[–]maxstolfe 1 point2 points ago

I fart in your general direction!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

It works for some people. Its called inverted guard. (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu)

[–]Alcapwn92 0 points1 point ago

This would SOOO work. This cat clearly does Jiu Jitsu and has been working on his X guard....

[–]epicnob 0 points1 point ago

The Inverted Mantis! Quite difficult to master.

[–]borg88 0 points1 point ago

I'm guessing the cat was intending to flip onto its back, but got wedged against the wall?

[–]Stomo 0 points1 point ago

They'd say "HAHA! You're dick is tiny."

[–]le-lama-king 0 points1 point ago

pfft, I pee on enemies face and kick them on the head problem solved and the only one to beat me would be bear grillix

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Inverted guard.

[–]Natv 0 points1 point ago

You get out of here with your cats.

[–]danger_mcboom -1 points0 points ago

I just like the fact that he stays like that as if it's what he wanted to do from the start.

But hey, if you can't out-muscle your opponent, you can out-crazy them. That's usually more effective.

[–]bjbiggens -1 points0 points ago

If I could put my seat back forward, I'd be in porno movies!

[–]RockinTheKevbot -1 points0 points ago

if acting crazy isnt intimidating your attacker show em your nuts!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]TheJack38 0 points1 point ago

If you think the attacker is /really/ sexy and know (s)he'd go for it if given the chance?

Also, you're the one to talk about things being okay... Eating placentas... ಠ_ಠ

[–]iamastonished -1 points0 points ago

THAT'LL TEACH YOU

[–]Pride_Of_Scotland -1 points0 points ago

Prepare the poop cannon!

[–]BigRedBike -1 points0 points ago

Cute little vid, but it makes sense. A cat's best weapons are it's hind paws.

[–]Movablewall -1 points0 points ago

Holy re-post Batman

[–]brussels4breakfast -1 points0 points ago

Depends on how foul the fart is.

[–]panzerdriver -1 points0 points ago

Yea I shat my pants and it fell on my face, thanks.

[–]kevbauder -1 points0 points ago

Even in the animal kingdom, this rule is true - don't f with the crazy guy. You never know what he will do.

[–]asalt1 -1 points0 points ago

Quickly TRANSFORM

[–]CannibalIowa -1 points0 points ago

It works fine

[–]baconsorcerer -1 points0 points ago

I did try it reddit and now i have a black bastard baby

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

FYI, if your condo is full of these retards expect your condo fund to be dwindling away very fast, and hope that the building is well insured.

[–]paulieindy -1 points0 points ago

Eat my fluffy balls

[–]fuzzy_banjo -1 points0 points ago

The kitteh's front paws might be declawed and knows they're useless...or the kitteh also saw that gif with the lion and wanted to try it out.

[–]Rule_32 -1 points0 points ago

Bring it! I will upper-cut SLASH YOUR THROAT!

[–]daddywarbuckz -1 points0 points ago

I used to do it all the time.

[–]TChuff -1 points0 points ago

Inoki vs. Ali.

[–]TChuff 0 points1 point ago

Why on earth would this be downvoted? Did the douchebags downvoting this even know about this fight or controversy surrounding it? Some of you people are stupid to the fucking core.

[–]Jd0808 -1 points0 points ago

The cat was like: I MENT TO DO THAT LOL

[–]Captain_Aizen -4 points-3 points ago

I got into a fight with some asshole and just killed them with that very move. They died of laughter.

[–]TyliieBayBiie -2 points-1 points ago

The literal meaning of showing your ass in a fight.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]catherineruth 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of Monty Python and the holy grail.

bad French accent "I fart in your general direction!"

[–]Xodah -2 points-1 points ago

"He fights like an interpretive dance about coming out to your father."

-Seanbaby

[–]throwawaycontainer -2 points-1 points ago

It's a bit of a strange position, but there's logic to it. Upright like that, the cat has a lot more maneuverability. They can flee if they need to. If they feel cornered, then they will turn themselves upside-down (usually on their side instead of quite so vertical). It gives them the advantage of starting the fight with 5 points to 5 (the teeth and claws on 4 legs).

[–]PyroSpark -2 points-1 points ago

This gif made me rofl so hard.

[–]wkamp -2 points-1 points ago

fight like a boss

[–]AkAdude -3 points-2 points ago

i tried. i got butt raped

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