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When you're walking down the street on a hot day and your balls keep sticking to your thigh. (Guy Problems) (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by ConTully

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[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]morisnov 31 points32 points ago

I had a testicular torsion and my lefty didn't make it, I would almost recommend it, no more squished balls, no BSTL and it makes an interesting conversation when picking up ladies(they're curious).

[–]Qwapz 32 points33 points ago

The idea of having one of my spermatic cords get tangled up makes me paranoid beyond belief. I shudder at the thought of that happening to me.

[–]morisnov 39 points40 points ago*

mine happened because I have the bell clapper deformity it's extremely rare but extremely painful. The doctor said it must have happened while I slept because it was already dead when they did the surgery. They also said they had never seen someone sleep through this.

Edit: My left testicle was 4-5 times the size of my right one and when I was asked how much it hurt and I said "just a bit." the nurse just laughed at me as she put the iv in.

[–]12B 15 points16 points ago

That last bit made me laugh. Have an upvote. Also, sorry for your loss.

Edit: Forgot about the edit button.

[–]thebloodygrinch[!] 10 points11 points ago

Lose testicle, acquire upvote.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]bloodwrage 3 points4 points ago

Honestly, at this point in my Reddit addiction, it almost seems worth it.

[–]TheRakist 0 points1 point ago

Edit indeed

[–]KungfuDojo 0 points1 point ago

Also you have 6 hours till it's dead.

[–]Kensin 11 points12 points ago

it makes an interesting conversation when picking up ladies(they're curious)

Does that really work?
"Hey baby, What's got two thumbs and one testicle?"

[–]DankDarko 1 point2 points ago

Not like that it wouldnt. Id say start off with the naked man

[–]Aschebescher 8 points9 points ago

What is BSTL?

[–]pardev 20 points21 points ago

Balls stuck to leg?

[–]Aschebescher 7 points8 points ago

Ah, okay.

[–]codywarmbo -1 points0 points ago

Bestiality. He's trying to prevent it.

[–]shark_byte 3 points4 points ago

Sorry to hear. My roommate had one recently, but we got him to the hospital in time, so he's intact. Much sympathy pain to you sir, but at least it works out for you =)

[–]morisnov 4 points5 points ago

yeah 2 syringes of morphine didn't cut the pain so they gave me some demerol, that only took the edge off so they ended up giving me an epidural.

[–]refreshbot 1 point2 points ago

gahhhhh. and I thought I needed an epidural the last time I ate too many jalapenos...

[–]Will7357 1 point2 points ago

Serious question: can you reproduce with a uniball?

[–]Yotsubato 2 points3 points ago

Yes. You just probably produce less sperm. There are a couple reasons why we have 2 and this is one of them. Losing both means you're out of the gene pool which is evolutionarily really really bad

[–]Hgee 0 points1 point ago

So does it hang perfectly centered or is it still a bit on its own side?

[–]userdeath 0 points1 point ago

It's okay.. I was never really invited to the gene pool.

[–]ConTully[S] 1 point2 points ago

This is a weird coincidence, I actually had the same thing, but I got mine operated on in time so I still have this problem. Sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision though...

[–]trancendominant 0 points1 point ago

Whenever I hear someone talk about testicular torsion, I think of Dean Venture.

[–]UnderDogs 9 points10 points ago

Or baby powder.

[–]b0red 2 points3 points ago

Tight jeans :\

[–]rustybuckets 43 points44 points ago

I find a crab walk is somewhat more effective

[–]ickysticky 9 points10 points ago

I like to go for the awkward waist down shake plus knee bend, just gotta make sure no one is looking.

[–]Kroz_McD 8 points9 points ago

A couple of squats, with hands in pockets is a quick fix

[–]scotty1987 5 points6 points ago

Until you stop to cross the road then BANG... Back to your leg they go!

[–]refreshbot 4 points5 points ago

...only, everyone still knows you're adjusting your balls.

[–]refreshbot 3 points4 points ago

what? I'm just droppin' it like it's hot y'all...

[–]poobicus 0 points1 point ago

crab walk is the only acceptable form of transportation

[–]SykoJester 27 points28 points ago

I always love the "I think my phone should go in THIS pocket now" routine

[–]AndyRooney 7 points8 points ago

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Oh, I learned how to text by touch......."

[–]aggie2012 24 points25 points ago

I usually just walk like I'm about to be in a wild west duel. Reach for the sky

[–]C_M_Burns 13 points14 points ago

Can't read that without hearing it in Woody's voice.

[–]codywarmbo 5 points6 points ago

It's so dusty, who the hell had sweaty balls in the Wild West? More like muddy balls.

[–]aggie2012 14 points15 points ago

Muddy Balls is actually my southern blues stage name

[–]refreshbot 4 points5 points ago

Muddy Balls is when you accidentally shit your pants in the middle of a golf swing.

[–]CornyCotton -2 points-1 points ago

Nah, that's Mud Butt.

[–]codywarmbo 0 points1 point ago

Is your biggest hit called "Puke" then?

[–]maskoncrooked 4 points5 points ago

what are they dueling with.. jars?

[–]Your_Fly_Is_Open 21 points22 points ago

I actually tend to do something more like this.

[–]AndyRooney 15 points16 points ago

And if that doesn't work I just go to defcon 5.

[–]incandemon 8 points9 points ago*

Actually you would want to go to DefCon 1. DefCon 5 is the state of maximun stand down while DefCon 1 is thermonuclear war.

[–]zoso33 2 points3 points ago

I would think that Defcon 1 would be "pants around ankles, manually unstick balls from leg"

[–]incandemon 1 point2 points ago

So this would be DefCon 2 then?

[–]zoso33 0 points1 point ago

If Defcon 1 is "balls swing freely", then yes, I believe it would be Defcon 2.

Defcon 4 would probably be "hands down pants, manually unstick balls from leg"

[–]AndyRooney 1 point2 points ago

Yeah, Ive made this mistake on here before and been corrected and yet I still forget. I think its because defcon 5 is used repeatedly in pop culture.

And since we're being all accurate n shit....actually you would want to spell acctually with one c....;)

[–]incandemon 1 point2 points ago

Thanks, I'm trying to stop using spell check for everything and force myself to learn to spell correctly. Reddit is kind of a trial by fire.

[–]llDemonll 54 points55 points ago

The Ministry of Silly Walks, one of the funniest John Cleese things I've seen

[–]wallawalla22 20 points21 points ago

And here's a fun wallpaper for those who like this skit!

[–]Crim91 -3 points-2 points ago

and another.

[–]bytor_2112 9 points10 points ago

sorry I'm late -- I'm afraid my walk has become rather sillier lately...

[–]imnotcam 23 points24 points ago

I put on a nice coat of baby powder before I get dressed each day. This prevents ball stickage. Try it.

[–]usedtowork 8 points9 points ago

hmm where does one acquire powdered babies

[–]userdeath 0 points1 point ago

If you still can't find some, drop by any atheist convention, comes in the starter pack.

[–]bleakwood 5 points6 points ago

Somebody give this man a sandwich!

[–]fireinthesky7 4 points5 points ago

It's a godsend for long trips on a motorcycle. That and Gold Bond.

[–]11010110 10 points11 points ago

This is why you coat your balls in Teflon.

Anyone with me?

[–]Planckover2pi 0 points1 point ago

I now finally have a use for the roll of 1 mm teflon in my drawer.

[–]LawnOrnament 8 points9 points ago

I wear socks that cover my calves to prevent this.

[–]evasivemanuevers 10 points11 points ago

This phenomenon is called "Bat Wings"

[–]RossLH 6 points7 points ago

The batwing is an unfortunate occurrence in which one's balls get stuck to both legs while walking. The resultant stretching resembles the wing of a bat.

[–]evasivemanuevers 8 points9 points ago

I tend to show my lady friend my wing when I come back from playing basketball. She hates it.

[–]Blackops606 4 points5 points ago

This also works if you have a wedgie and don't want to pick it.

[–]Crockinator 4 points5 points ago

I like to drop something on the ground and pick it up... or walk around, hands in pocket and point something with my foot to the person I'm with. Like "Hey, look at this DVD cover on the bottom shelf! points with foot"

... but the best way remains what we call the Reach-in Deluxe

[–]saliyuda 5 points6 points ago

Me, i scratch it. I don't care if an old lady sees it and scream because serouisly why should i care about them?

[–]aquart 2 points3 points ago

And everytime I do this, my girlfriend asks if my leg hurts ... if she knew

[–]nobodysdiary 5 points6 points ago

Seeing the level of absurdity in this sketch was so striking that it proved to be pivotal moment in defining my sense of humor. It remains one of my favorite Python sketches of all time.

[–]Simbamatic 2 points3 points ago

Haha, I catch dudes doing this all the time, as I'm sure they catch me, but it's like, while walking it's a fake leg stretch/stumble/look of relief.

[–]Nexusmaxis 2 points3 points ago

http://www.freshballs.com/us/products/fresh-balls/

[–]danimal317 0 points1 point ago

I was disappointed to see that you didn't have more upvotes. If only I had more than one to give.

[–]callmesuspect 3 points4 points ago

I've never had this issue. And I'm fat. What is wrong with you people's balls?

[–]SensibleMadness 6 points7 points ago

I'm guessing it's because they wear boxers. I wear boxer briefs and have never had this issue.

[–]callmesuspect 1 point2 points ago

Oh. Yeah me too.

[–]ohgeronimo 1 point2 points ago

Still happened when I wore briefs. I'm a sweaty guy with plenty of skin, I'd say.

[–]namtrahj 1 point2 points ago

Such a long inseam. My pants would be shorts on him. Baggy, baggy shorts.

[–]DootyBug 1 point2 points ago

Re- rack

[–]jocularferret 1 point2 points ago

Gentlemen, it our duty as men to inform the OP of GoldBond "It's fo yo nuts" medicated powder. A dash to the right and a dash to the left, and you will strut in confidence once more.

[–]dactuhfunk101 1 point2 points ago

This needs to be much higher. My life has literally changed since I started using it.

[–]MicFury 1 point2 points ago

Only if you're not wearing boxer briefs! Also, baby powder. #LPT

[–]virtyy 1 point2 points ago

Dont you guys have hair on your legs and/or balls? That prevents stickiness.

[–]myalt22 0 points1 point ago

I shave everything, so I'm smooth like a ken doll.

[–]jarvispeen 1 point2 points ago

Batwings

[–]ForeverAllOne 1 point2 points ago

My balls never stick to my thighs. You all should try out a thing called underwear.

[–]FaceOfBear15 1 point2 points ago

If you got guy problems I feel bad for you son! I got 99 problems, balls to thigh ain't one!

[–]arcadeguy 1 point2 points ago

I don't think you need the parenthetical clarification at the end.

[–]dmareddit 1 point2 points ago

This helps with batwings.

[–]squishface2021 1 point2 points ago

that's amore!

[–]MudvayneMW 1 point2 points ago

I tried Saxx Underwear to fix my summertime woes. It kept the sack from sticking to my thighs but your junk is basically sitting inside an oven. So it kind of fixes one problem but creates another.

Stacked with gold bond's body powder they're pretty legit.

[–]OurNumbers 2 points3 points ago

Favorite sketch ever.

[–]Joshijo 2 points3 points ago

Upvote for Monty Python.

[–]MuteMouse 1 point2 points ago

The fact that this made the frontpage proves that Reddit is 98% guys

[–]soiwasonceindenmark 3 points4 points ago

Bad logic. Period-rage-comics on the frontpage proof every redditor has pms?

[–]PorkShake 0 points1 point ago

Push button for...

[–]captureMMstature 0 points1 point ago

Looks a lot like the street they filmed Open All Hours on, were they filmed in the same location.

[–]seeasea 0 points1 point ago

After writing the first sentence of your title, why did you feel it necessary to add the parenthetical caveat?

[–]bluemookey 0 points1 point ago

Balls got to be big enough to stick!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Are there still guys out there that don't know about Gold Bond?!

[–]Fantusta 0 points1 point ago

Why, that's not a very silly walk at all!

[–]tgood 0 points1 point ago

ahh good ol BSTL (Balls Stuck to Leg)

[–]jeffinfremont 0 points1 point ago

http://uddercream.com/ <----- This stuff works wonders.

[–]Codiak 0 points1 point ago

This url is real. So is the solution: http://www.powdermyequipment.com/

[–]Knubinator 0 points1 point ago

Just stop wearing underwear.

[–]ronan88 0 points1 point ago

Some German guys I know refer to this as SKAB, an acromym that roughly translates as "sack stuck to leg". they use this to complain about it in front of women without giving away the actual issue at hand (ball?)

[–]KarstonVT 0 points1 point ago

I tend to do a combo of crab wall and this plus a little spin

[–]rlutterb 0 points1 point ago

Balls stuck to thighs = batwings

[–]iNeedMyKingButterfly 0 points1 point ago

That is some top-notch British queueing in the background there.

[–]Klute 0 points1 point ago

baby powder in your balls, no sticking and it fells like your testicles are suported by a cloud.

[–]slick561 0 points1 point ago

Sitting at with your legs at obtuse angles seems to help.

[–]FistOfFacepalm 0 points1 point ago

What are you doing that causes your balls to stick to your leg?

[–]Fuskox 0 points1 point ago

Monty Python :)

[–]infanticide_holiday 0 points1 point ago

I call it "The Bat Wing"

[–]LongSchlongBanana 0 points1 point ago

Wear a thong? It's actually quite comfortable...

[–]dirty_d 0 points1 point ago

video of original?

[–]fangsby 2 points3 points ago

The Ministry of Silly Walks sketch.

[–]Limjucas328 0 points1 point ago

jim carrey swag

[–]fireinthesky7 0 points1 point ago

I apologize for my lateness, I'm afraid my balls have gotten rather stickier of late.

[–]instaldave 0 points1 point ago

I call that the batwing

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Oh God, I literally Loled.

[–]iGGlass 0 points1 point ago

Ahhh, The Ministry of Silly Walks.

[–]markusgarvey 0 points1 point ago

Gold Bond Powder...

[–]FrontalPR 0 points1 point ago

lol yes i realized this today as i noticed the weather was getting hotter

[–]mcampato 0 points1 point ago

I am sitting in my managers office right now and was waiting to talk with my manager and literally laughed out loud. My manager looked at me like I was crazy then laughed with me after I showed her.

[–]egonym 0 points1 point ago

Your title ruins the brilliant humor in that gif.

[–]dinosantorum012 0 points1 point ago

dont mind me

[–]samura1sam 0 points1 point ago

boxer briefs

[–]striKING 0 points1 point ago

Haters gonna hate?

[–]showtimesynergy 0 points1 point ago

Just use some deodorant down there and they will slide around merrily.

[–]ferrari1320 0 points1 point ago

Ain't that the truth

[–]fandsfish 0 points1 point ago

Known by us professionals as SNSS (Sticky Nut Sack Syndrome).

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Women will never understand the shit we have to put up with!

/s

[–]wtfamireadingdotjpg 8 points9 points ago

Women will never understand the pleasure of your balls unsticking from your leg.

[–]Real_MikeCleary 8 points9 points ago

Or the relief of adjusting your boner after it has been in a very uncomfterble position for far to long.

[–]LifeBandit666 0 points1 point ago

I make her deal with it, but not in the way you are thinking (wash that mind, it's FILTHY!), I like to lean over and whisper in her ear in a public place "My balls are sticking to my leg again" and just watch the horror engulf her as I use EVERY method listed here to dislodge the offending sack. I howled when I saw this gif because it is fucking spot on!

[–]Calciber 0 points1 point ago

Some girls have this problem too. : I

[–]Fogl 1 point2 points ago

Do not elaborate on this.

[–]Calciber 1 point2 points ago

I was just innocently pointing it out.

[–]Fogl 1 point2 points ago

Aaaah, you're a transwoman. Sorry ma'am, did'nt mean no disrespect. I tought you were insinuating something about coagulated menstruation at first.

[–]Calciber 1 point2 points ago

D: OHGODNO. NO. DDDDD: Sorry. That's awful. : I

[–]delabass 0 points1 point ago

Betty Swollocks.

[–]spleazeball -1 points0 points ago

This easily could be a girl problem when you've got a VJ itch.

[–]JAK312 -1 points0 points ago

I had to immediately hit backspace after two seconds of watching this so I didn't bust out laughing in my speech class [7]

[–]ctrlaltrockdel -1 points0 points ago

ministry of silly walks

[–]MindlessDream -1 points0 points ago

Lucky you put guy problems in the title.

[–]Conan446 -4 points-3 points ago

Glad you put (Guy Problems) on the end so we understood which balls you were referring to.

[–]Megadeth619 -5 points-4 points ago*

Nobody enjoys a good post more than I do. Except perhaps my wife, and some of her friends. Oh, and POTATO_IN_MY_ANUS. Come to think of it, most people enjoy a good post more than I do, but that's beside the point.

Edit: downvoters have no clue :)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

They just thought you post was getting a little too silly.

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