Uranus: not even once

fah_cue · 6 months

Original source is still live:
http://dvice.com/archives/2011/10/we-now-know-why.php

Nashvegas · 6 months

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

wheresmyhouse · 6 months

-I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.

--Oh. What's it called now?

-Urectum.

MustStopMasturbating · 6 months

Really, commander?

Captainpatch · 6 months

Relevant

From Matt (the writer of that comic):

"The three laws of journalism are:

1) Inform the public of matters of public import.

2) Entertain the audience, when it does not interfere with the first law.

3) Sneak in puns when it does not interfere with the first two laws, unless it's a really good one."

Ipanman92 · 6 months

Here's another

DaSemonator · 6 months

The author's thought process as he submitted this

ajoshw · 6 months

Hey. Don't knock it til you try it.

StewieBanana · 6 months

I think this post should win for funniest post with the most unfunny, cliche title.

IMasturbateToMyself · 6 months

There's absolutely no way this wasn't intentional.

FireThestral · 6 months

I love the top left of the pic where it lists things in order of increasing size.

Adam9172 · 6 months

As an Astronomer, I've heard all of these puns far too many times.

trololbaus · 6 months

this part of the article made me laugh pretty hard "Now astronomers think they know how this happened, and it means that Uranus has been pounded really, really hard not once, but twice." :lol: from the original source http://dvice.com/archives/2011/10/we-now-know-why.php provided by: fah_cue

gurrbabes · 6 months

sucks to be uranus.

dayman_AAAAAAAAHHHH · 6 months

that may explain its why it's so wide and listing sideways.

RLutz · 6 months

Nice.

Kelthice · 6 months

I didn't laugh until your username. WP OP.

PLUTO_IN_MY_ANUS · 6 months

I beg to differ.

[deleted] · 6 months

Guilty as charged.

agentlemns · 6 months

"Needless to say, this sort of behavior is a bit strange for Uranus, although nobody's quite been able to determine how it happened. New simulations from astronomers at the Observatory of Côte d'Azur in Nice, France may have just figured it out, and the answer seems to be that Uranus has suffered from not one but two giant impacts."

Uranus is a whore ಠ_ಠ

Waiting_in_a_Eye_Que · 6 months

I lol'd in a meeting. Damn you.

DOWNWTDASICKNESS · 6 months

if you share this article it says, "we might know why Uranus is all wonky"

Unidan · 6 months

ಠ_ಠ

divinesleeper · 6 months

There is no way that that is unintentional.

punkmasta · 6 months

If I was an asstronaut going to Uranus I'd love to smell like my father's colon

d0n0v4n98 · 6 months

Because it has a tilted axis!

giggity_giggity · 6 months

What does Uranus prefer? One big impact or two slightly smaller impacts?

OhWhyHalloThere · 6 months

This man is asking for trouble

uranus86 · 6 months

I beg to differ hmmph

Dirt_Bike_Zero · 6 months

Not my anus.

Sepheus · 6 months

When I was in middle school my science teacher told us that people mispronounce it and it's actually "Ur-in-us". I believed him until I went to college (and even corrected people).

Vorsai · 6 months

The writer knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote that article.

cannotlogon · 6 months

Don't I know it.

sigh

baba_is_awesome · 6 months

relevant

MeanwhileintheTARDIS · 6 months

It makes sense that Uranus doesn't sit quite properly, after being impacted by two earth sized objects anyway. No one blames Uranus for keeping it's bottom side up. Reddit supports Uranus!

belloch · 6 months

What about the irony of username I_SHIT_KARMA posting about Uranus?

my_toilet_is_haunted · 6 months

Luckily Uranus can dish it out as well as take it.

anal_blazers · 6 months

I may have had something to do with this...

TheRealYM · 6 months

The best part is this guy knew exactly what he was writing while he was writing it.

whathefuckman · 6 months

I see what you did there.

boringzebra · 6 months

I tend to like big planets, and I cannot lie.

Rustlingleafdesign · 6 months

http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/l4yjz/uranus_takes_a_pounding_more_frequently_than/

NotANoveltyUser · 6 months

With your amount of karma & username, I believe this.

theNinjahs · 6 months

Mianus, not even once...Uranus, well who can tell...

Triggs390 · 6 months

As the planet revolves around the sun, these poles slowly switch places, meaning that if you lived there, you'd get 42 years of sunlight followed by 42 years of darkness, with a short time in between where things would seem almost normal.

Am I the only one who would rather have this cycle vs the 24 hour cycle? "I lived my first 42 years in lightness, lets try darkness for the last half!" You could travel to one side of the planet for some light or vice versa if you were living on the light side.

Wammis · 6 months

So this is the secret of Reddit... Uranus takes a pounding, and then you shit karma... well played.

Sobertese · 6 months

No matter how old I get, I'll always enjoy a Uranus joke.

mtme · 6 months

That's what she said.

[deleted] · 6 months

This explain the excessive bleeding.

Michelle1016 · 6 months

Didn't we all take a pretty good pounding in our tempestuous youths?!

Mudface68 · 6 months

Ha! that's funny I didn't think anyone cared

JubilentElf94 · 6 months

look, it has more rings than LeBron

[deleted] · 6 months

Uranus is looking blue tonight.

UntitledHipster · 6 months

Uranus is blue?

Doc88 · 6 months

You know damn well someone did that on purpose.

treefool · 6 months

I want you to get your goddamned cameras out of my bedroom, right fucking now!

thicka · 6 months

we really need a new name for that planet

thechickwiththenails · 6 months

Could you come crap on my computer?

Jack92 · 6 months

It's clear that it has taken a pounding, just look at its ring, its bright red!

ANAL_INVESTIGATOR · 6 months

This could be worth looking into. A deeper investigation is needed.

greedyiguana · 6 months

I really want someone to photoshop this to say "YOUR MOM" at the end

capt_slim · 6 months

And... shared on Facebook.

TickleToeJo · 6 months

Story of my life.

brnitschke · 6 months

What does Captain Kirk and Toilet Paper have in common?

They both orbit Uranus and wipe out klingons.

JaiMoh · 6 months

"Uranus' axial tilt of 98 degrees means that it's got one pole pointed almost directly at the sun, and one pole pointed out into space. "

Originally read it as:

"Uranus' axial tilt of 98 degrees means that it's got one hole pointed almost directly at the sun, and one hole pointed out into space. "

lligweh · 6 months

FUCKING REPOST

ninoffmaniak · 6 months

if Uranus jokes are funny to you i have some interesting news. You are 5 years old

dummystupid · 6 months

God, I knew I wasn't remembering my whole life. I lose hours at a time and wake up in weird places. I've noticed a midget wearing rainbow tights just before I black out. He's always in the shadows and I'm never able to get a good look at him. What is he doing to me? Is he pounding me? Is he drugging me? Why does my jaw and butt hurt when I wake up? This can't be good. I need to find a way to get my life back. Tubro (that is what I call the midget) must die. He must die today. I can't let myself get pounded like this anymore or at least without me knowing. Today things are going to change. You batter watch out Tubro, I'm going to kill your ass.

OneMillionDollHairs · 6 months

I was talking to God the other day about this whole Pluto thing, he said "I'm just kinda bummed out by it, you know? I really liked Pluto."

I said "If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it".

Wigglez1 · 6 months

[deleted]

clonedcheeseburger · 6 months

niggers gonna nig

razajin · 6 months

ISeeWhatYouDidthere.jpeg

KingPorky · 6 months

Stop posting this you shit, this is so old and not funny anymore.

AriBBCP · 6 months

[deleted]

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