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top 200 commentsshow all 241

[–]jonnielaw 203 points204 points ago

I have one of these. My GF at the time got it for my laptop. Then we got a dog and she managed to knock a full glass of water on the laptop, destroying it. Now I have an iMac and it doesn't fit any of the USB ports. Then my girlfriend and I broke up and I let her keep our real pup but I got to keep the USB humping one.

Now the dog just sits there next to my computer, staring at me. I can only imagine it's sexual frustration.

[–]rembinalle 131 points132 points ago

I bought one of these for my boyfriend. Are you my boyfriend? Have we broken up?

[–]frugalfuzzy 79 points80 points ago

Things just got potentially awkward.

[–]kristinhasabighead 7 points8 points ago

man, i wish it was real.... I love when redditors find one another via the net... magical really.....AND on top of it all, usually someone posts that funny "now kiss" picture!!!!

[–]Lostidentity627 58 points59 points ago

Holy shit I thought you were being sarcastic at first, but all your comments are as stupid as this one.

[–]kristinhasabighead 47 points48 points ago

this isnt the now kiss picture...

[–]Jonathan-O 5 points6 points ago

[–]IntenseGreatness 0 points1 point ago

It is real. I think they're on thinkgeek.com. If not just google humping usb dogs

[–]ramzie 3 points4 points ago

and the plot thickens.

[–]f03nix 0 points1 point ago

Yes, and you've got to snap out of the past rembinalle ... it's ... it's unbearable to see you this way :'(

[–]krimsonidol 3 points4 points ago

I bought one of these for my girlfriend at the time (now wife, this was like 6 years ago) as my first gift to her for our one month anniversary or something. I thought it was cute and funny and it looked like her dog.

I told her, I have a surprise for you! and she got excited.

I got it out and plugged it in to her laptop. She stared. Then she got really mad. I guess she had expected flowers.

And that is when I learned just how different two people's senses of humor can be.

[–]jonnielaw 1 point2 points ago

Well, I'm glad you were able to find common ground to formulate such a solid relationship despite your difference in opinion regarding plastic dogs humping personal computers.

You are a bigger man than me.

[–]longknives 2 points3 points ago

I have one of these that I won in a silly contest on the Internet. I stick it in people's computers at work.

[–]bacon_rumpus 1 point2 points ago

Have you ever used it in public?

[–]fumyl 1 point2 points ago

Riveting story. Please do go on, bro.

[–]jonnielaw 2 points3 points ago

Not much else to tell, just your average tale of boy meets girl, girl buys boy novelty humping dog, boy gets girl real humping dog, girl leaves boy with real dog, nobody is humping now

[–]thxverymuch 0 points1 point ago

First world problems taken to a whole 'nother level

[–]ComputerScienceIsFun 0 points1 point ago

Can...Can I have it?

[–]jonnielaw 0 points1 point ago

Um... Maybe. I don't feel really comfortable regifting. Kinda seems like a lame thing to do. But you can get one at thinkgeek.com, I believe.

[–]ComputerScienceIsFun 0 points1 point ago

I'm broke :( No worries though

[–]jonnielaw 0 points1 point ago

If you really, really want one, pm you address and I'll order ya one because you asked nicely. But tbh, the novelty wears off rather quickly.

[–]ComputerScienceIsFun 0 points1 point ago

Are you sure? I don't want to make you spend your money.

[–]what_democracy 58 points59 points ago

[–]solidsnake2730 4 points5 points ago

"Not for children under 18."

Wat?

[–]lordeddardstark 11 points12 points ago

2.5 in dog years

[–]custardnom 4 points5 points ago

Children over 18 are fine, though.

[–]Ijustride 11 points12 points ago

I ordered one, thanks for doing the labor.

Here's the black and white dog

[–]mindcrack 17 points18 points ago

Nice try, Drop Shipper guy!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

just ordered that shit

[–]hamlet9000 27 points28 points ago

Almost ordered, then discovered it wasn't actually a USB storage device -- just a dog that humps. Disappointed.

[–]rembinalle 17 points18 points ago

I did the same, except I realised when I took it out of the packet and plugged it into my computer

[–]DivineWithin 10 points11 points ago

I spent 10 minutes looking around for the size of the thumb drive, since it specified USB in the title..

[–]rembinalle -2 points-1 points ago

Yep, me too... we're all forgetting that USB is just short for USB flash drive or USB storage device...USB on it's own just means you plug it into your USB port :P

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

Me too...no sense in not putting a few GB in there.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

yea i saw that too, but i decided fuck it, doesnt matter had sex.

[–]sunnybrookmusic 1 point2 points ago

It has horrible reviews.. Let us know if it breaks easily

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

fuck.... will do. but that one guy said his lasted for a year.

[–]sokoteur 7 points8 points ago

I have one of these, it's been humping my car's usb port for two years.
Set up is very close to this.

[–]ctay3120 2 points3 points ago

The last time i bought electronics from china, they were supposed to be sennheiser headphones and they shocked my ears every time i plugged them in

[–]Colin5789 0 points1 point ago

I think that's kind of hard to do with a low voltage like that.

[–]thisguy9 1 point2 points ago

yea, but 5 day shipping vs 4 months...

[–]thaddius 1 point2 points ago

"Stress Reliving"? Oooook.

PS: upvote for DealExtreme

[–]jsprinkles 0 points1 point ago

Oh, if only it were Prime.

[–]leo1016 0 points1 point ago

Thanks. In For 2.

[–]vxx 0 points1 point ago

$5 Shipping free worldwide.

Police, I want to give you a hint in which Container the next plagiates/drugs will be shipped.

[–]ilihcma2[!] 0 points1 point ago

Shut up and take my 5 dollah

[–]hellsnake08 0 points1 point ago

Am I missing something cause I skimmed the page and it still wouldnt tell me the memory this USB has

[–]pseudolobster 0 points1 point ago*

USB is a connector. It's rectangular and has four pins. Keyboards and mice often use USB connectors. This dog does as well.

USB does not mean memory stick. You're thinking of a flash drive. You're making an elementary mistake in terminology, like calling a car's headlights "the horns". I really wish people would realize these words have specific meanings. If you come into a computer store and say your modem is broken, we're going to be looking for a telecommunications device. We can't know that modem is your pet word for your mouse.

USB is a protocol and a series of connectors. There are USB keyboards, USB sound cards, USB foot warmers, USB remote controls, USB joysticks, USB printers, etc, and NONE of them have ANY storage space.

[–]hellsnake08 0 points1 point ago

Ah! I see. Sorry about the mix up.

[–]rogercaptain 25 points26 points ago

Why is this not also a flash drive?

[–]ashpatash 14 points15 points ago

a lot of unhappy reviewers, but not this guy

My USB Humping Dog - we'll call him Rex - is different than others. He's long had an interest in the USB port. Exchanging flirtatious glances. Feeling the sexual tension when carried together in a laptop bag. Ever since that chance encounter at the Chinese Electronics Expo he's had a thing for her. How serendipitous.

Now together, Rex doesn't hump the USB port; he makes sweet love to it. With each electronic thrust the passion and heat of metal-on-metal friction builds.

Love alone is enough reason to purchase the USB Humping Dog. What's more, it's also an age appropriate sex education aid! For the unaware, immature, young, or naive who happen upon the USB Humping Dog while in the throes of passion, there's an easy explanation. Similar to what my sister and I told a little girl we knew as children, "My dog really likes to give out hugs."

A few tech notes: -Runs purely off of USB power -Does not possess any actual storage space -Only motorized parts are legs -Arms have single rotary movement -Dog has made love for over one hour at a time, and I've had it nearly one year without failure (CRAZY staying power)

Buy it for a funny gag gift.

[–]Xzenfar 5 points6 points ago

There is also one on think geek.

[–]xeonrage 8 points9 points ago

and has been for YEARS

[–]dannyboylee 2 points3 points ago

And it costs one hundred dollars.

[–]pedz 2 points3 points ago

Overpriced is the word we're looking for when talking about think geek. Cool products, just far from being cheap.

[–]scuby22 5 points6 points ago

In the Amazon reviews:

Awesome toy, wished it worked.

Humped for about a minute, then broke.

Just a one minute beagle :/

[–]CatRage 1 point2 points ago

You sir, are one of those people who make reddit a better place.

[–]Cyberslasher 0 points1 point ago

LOL. WIN. You have now directed enough people to it that there are only 5 left. I take my hat off to you.

[–]jsprinkles 1 point2 points ago

I bought the last one. SUCKERS

(It says there's still one left ... it said that before I ordered. Dunno.)

[–]Cyberslasher 1 point2 points ago

meh. I got mine at the 5 left. besides, your screen shot doesn't even prove that none are left, it just proves you had one. Might wanna check your cropping.

[–]Heisenburg 33 points34 points ago

Japan.

[–]Solarian1 9 points10 points ago

Honestly, I know that to others this seems like an obvious "shit be cray in Japan", but I saw these in a little store in Harajuku on that famous main street where you get the really good crepes, and I bought them for my friends. So yes, you definitely can get them in Japan, as that's where I bought them.

[–]MrWhite_is_TheJoker 3 points4 points ago

please, please don't say "cray", it's not a word, it's a lazy man's way of saying crazy.

society has already declined in intelligence enough. please don't use "cray".

[–]CYB3R_N1NJA 5 points6 points ago

LOL you still say lazy? haven't you heard its just "Lay" now?

[–]GhostLeader 6 points7 points ago

yeah, that shit lay.

[–]Solarian1 0 points1 point ago

It's a meme, or at least it is with bitches.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

While I think it sounds stupid it's not just a lazy form of "crazy"...it's urban slang that came from:

“The origin of the term “Cray” from the “Niggas In Paris” single is actually not a shortened form of “crazy”, nor is it “cray”, It’s actually “Kray. It’s in reference to the schizophrenic twins Ronald and Reginald Kray… The Kray twins who were the crime lords of London in the 50’s and 60’s… The police failed to locate them on numerous occasions, which is where the line “Ball so hard, muhhfuckas wanna find me, that shit Kray…” comes from.”

[–]fr023nske7ch 0 points1 point ago

This is actually not true. RapGenius explains it here.

[–]Godssheep 1 point2 points ago

Same here.

My kids find them amazing as well. Something they'll realize what that dog is doing and think fondly of their father's stupidity.

[–]jordan314 0 points1 point ago

It's pretty much all they sell in Tokyo Narita airport. That and jelly candy

[–]fapmonad 2 points3 points ago

And fucking delicious maccha chocolate with mochi inside.

[–]v0-z 0 points1 point ago

That's where I bought mine :D

[–]bellamarvella 7 points8 points ago

i own this!!!! mine is from the airport in tokyo. warning, it humps LOUDLY.

[–]ashpatash 2 points3 points ago

Did it come in other animals? Hmm I don't know how I feel about myself after asking that question.

[–]dja0794 24 points25 points ago

no it only comes in your laptop

[–]bellamarvella 2 points3 points ago

nah, just dogs at the airport. that is not to say there are not more humping usb options out there, if something else strikes your fancy.

[–]shakensunshine 18 points19 points ago

That is some RAM

[–]BikiniSunday -1 points0 points ago

[–]suna_smij 4 points5 points ago

Never fails at getting it in the hole on the first try!

[–]alekzander5 0 points1 point ago

Knowing my luck I'd still put it in the wrong way.

[–]SomeDanGuy 5 points6 points ago

It doesn't do anything else. It's not a flash drive or anything. It just incessantly humps your computer. I could have given you mine, but I threw it out. :/

[–]d4rkstryder 4 points5 points ago

That sucks. What is the point then? It would be awesome if it had storage and started humping when reading or writing to it...

[–]ccoy1817 2 points3 points ago

I actually have one. Worth every penny.

[–]JarodPaulWalrus 2 points3 points ago

They have them on thinkgeek if you can find it, it's humping dog flashdrive or something

[–]benxfactor 2 points3 points ago

Thinkgeek.com

[–]psymonp 2 points3 points ago

you can buy it in 2004, in capacities of 256 and 512mb

[–]TheFluxIsThis 2 points3 points ago

As a note: That's all those things do. They don't function as a USB storage device. They just fuck your USB socket.

[–]navyblues 2 points3 points ago

Japan, always Japan.

[–]k000p 2 points3 points ago

At tokyu hands in shinjuku on the 4F.

[–]kyannatron 2 points3 points ago

Thinkgeek.com

[–]RonnieStiggs 1 point2 points ago

I was afraid I was the only one who knew this!

[–]itzmedavid 1 point2 points ago

awe, no actual memory?

[–]funnymanisi 0 points1 point ago

Nope, got one as a present and I was so disappointed.

[–]luckytopher 1 point2 points ago

My USB ports are sideways :(

[–]Ceejae 1 point2 points ago

At the store for things that would get very annoying very quickly.

[–]weathrderp 1 point2 points ago

The best part is, you'll put it in the correct way every time!

[–]ryanknapper 1 point2 points ago

I think they have a lot of those in 2004.

[–]Rallerboy888 1 point2 points ago

Try DX.com

[–]SlyBass 1 point2 points ago

You can buy that, and a whole bunch of other stupid items at http://www.stupid.com. I sware to God I am not trolling. It is an actual site where you will find things 20x more awesome/useless.

[–]kingpinjoel 1 point2 points ago

[–]RiW-Kirby 1 point2 points ago

Why would you ever want one?

That thing is just pathetic.

[–]dontmutemeplz 1 point2 points ago

In the opposite direction of vagina

always wanted to say that...

[–]Hisdivineshadow69 0 points1 point ago

found one in fry's electronics. shit is annoying after 5 seconds though, i warn you.

[–]Piscator629 0 points1 point ago

I posted your link to stumble upon.

[–]Dog_Bone_er 0 points1 point ago

AWESOME :D

[–]Duben425 0 points1 point ago

Also Thinkgeek. A guy in my office has one...it's annoying as hell

[–]East_Clintwood 0 points1 point ago

I bought one of these for my super serious always frowning dad and he loved it, until he realized that it had no storage space on it.

[–]bunnyish 0 points1 point ago

My mom has one of these that is a cat. She got it when she visited me in Japan.

[–]hate_and_discontent 0 points1 point ago

I got mine at comic-con

[–]Abraves119 0 points1 point ago

So I was listening to "Your Mother Should Know" by the Beatles when I clicked on this, and Snoopy is thrusting EXACTLY on beat

[–]binarypower 0 points1 point ago

Circuit City

[–]pooponascoop 0 points1 point ago

My friend has one. It's pretty loud. You cant even store anything on it. It's not a flash drive.

[–]f3tch 0 points1 point ago

I saw them at the Tokyo airport. I also bought some candies and a ninja mask.

[–]veronicave 0 points1 point ago

My sister has one but it goes much faster. Who let the dogs out now, buddy?

[–]Grade10 0 points1 point ago

Shut up and take my money!

[–]gsmccabe 0 points1 point ago

my dad's got one of those! it makes me laugh. it does absolutely nothing other than hump your USB. but it's awesome, nonetheless.

[–]krnlpanik 0 points1 point ago

There are more of them here

insanity demo

[–]japanthony 0 points1 point ago

I didn't find it, but I found the Usb fanfan instead

[–]0HJOANNNE 0 points1 point ago

I ordered one when I finished grade 12. I got mine on eBay for like $4 CAD?

[–]Lurk182 0 points1 point ago

They sell them at Urban Outfitters $10 or $15 no shipping and no wait time

[–]Akeuw 0 points1 point ago

Fuck that shit, mine didn't work.

[–]tomcow 0 points1 point ago

i have one, got it from hong kong :]

[–]theillinestvillain 0 points1 point ago

Thinkgeek.com has something similar, I believe.

[–]sonicoliver 0 points1 point ago

I've seen them for sale in Narita International Airport, Tokyo.

[–]gravey80 0 points1 point ago

Yep, that is where I saw them too!

[–]Aaberg123 0 points1 point ago

I have one. Payed 5 DKK ($1) for it in a gadget store in Copenhagen.

[–]Hayseus 0 points1 point ago

I saw those in an airport in Japan

[–]mr_tolkien 0 points1 point ago

You can find them at the North Observatory of the Shinjuku town hall, in Tokyo. Just saw them yesterday, in a souvenir shop.

JAPAN.

[–]Error-NotFound 0 points1 point ago

I was given one as a present....It broke when i was taking it out if the packaging and now his legs and butt fall off when he screws.

[–]3stacks 0 points1 point ago

[–]morto00x 0 points1 point ago

I got one of those about 3 or 4 years ago. It was for a couple of hours, then I realized it was useless (It's not a flash drive).

[–]Fredster1R 0 points1 point ago

Frys electronic store there's a bunch in California not sure if there in other states tho

[–]Louizidunz 0 points1 point ago

A client brought me the beagle version from Hong-Kong :) Totally useless but still cute.

[–]BenChing91 0 points1 point ago

In Japan. I was making a stop at Japan's Narita airport and pick one up for a buddy in 09 when I was traveling Asia. It made me laugh for days, but cost me $15 there.

[–]bb3b4 0 points1 point ago

mmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa qqqqqqqquuuuuuuuiiiiiiieeeeeeevvvvvvveeeeeeeee

[–]Oni-Warlord 0 points1 point ago

We sold this type of junk at Fry's.

[–]CPU1 0 points1 point ago

[–]stopbeinghip 0 points1 point ago

[–]brandyisamazing 0 points1 point ago

I bought one of these in Japan. I was saddened to find out that it's not actually functional as a flash drive.

[–]scottishhusky 0 points1 point ago

I bought one of these for my secret santa thinking it was a flashstick

[–]renvi 0 points1 point ago

Go to "KiddyLand" in Japan (Harajuku). They had a whole wall full of them. They come in a variety of different animals, too.

[–]ProcompsognathusD 0 points1 point ago

japan, I have one

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Thinkgeek.com if they still have them

[–]nijikai 0 points1 point ago

I actually have two, still in their packaging, sitting in my drawer. If anyone wants one of the damn things, please hit me up!

Predictably, I live in Japan.

[–]SeanHearnden 0 points1 point ago

I have two of these. Message me your address and it's all yours.

[–]lzw3 0 points1 point ago

Only in Japan...

[–]McBurger 0 points1 point ago

ThinkGeek claims to sell them, but they're always out of stock

[–]thebigbradwolf 0 points1 point ago

They buy them at 1/4th the price from dealextreme.com who has notoriously shakey shipping.

http://www.dealextreme.com/p/usb-powered-stress-relieving-cute-mini-robot-dog-19706?item=1

[–]Camnesia 0 points1 point ago

Great, I've just spent 16 dollars on Dealextreme.

On things I now need, obviously.

[–]tearisha 0 points1 point ago

I've seen these in a bunch of stores in japan

[–]agedd13 0 points1 point ago

i have one of these i got it from japan

[–]poo_in_mah_ass 0 points1 point ago

I've got one from japan. they sell them in shops over there

[–]helloimowen 0 points1 point ago

God, I hate those things. So tacky.

[–]ginjaninja97 0 points1 point ago

My dad once saw one on a work trip to Asia (Singapore I think?) but he didn't get it and found a video of it instead to show me. Also the one he showed me humped faster.

[–]Reedey 0 points1 point ago

They have like 50 of these on display at the duty free akihabara store at Narita Airport.

[–]Edvinasz 0 points1 point ago

Just go on Ebay and enter 'USB humping dog'. You'll get it from chine for £2.50 (if you're in UK)

[–]Edvinasz 0 points1 point ago

I correct myself, £2.25....

[–]BitchPleaseImaNinja 0 points1 point ago

Think Geek.

[–]captain_binoculars 0 points1 point ago

I got one in Japan and gifted it off to someone who probably doesn't appreciate it like they should!

[–]cuntbox 0 points1 point ago

I work in IT. I got a new job at a large company, and found one of these in my desk draw, left over from the last guy. No joke..

[–]Skrubby 0 points1 point ago

I have one. I think I got it from thinkgeek.com

[–]thebigbradwolf 0 points1 point ago

Most of the things like this from ThinkGeek are actually from dealextreme.com which has free shipping (only takes a month!) and are usually much, much cheaper. The Ninja remotes are one other example. The deal extreme site, shipping, and packaging aren't great though...

http://www.dealextreme.com/p/usb-powered-stress-relieving-cute-mini-robot-dog-19706?item=1

[–]llanelwy 0 points1 point ago

Just got one on ebay for £2.50

[–]imhere_mmmk 0 points1 point ago

I bought one of these years ago. It actually "humps your tech" a lot faster.

[–]alecyo12 0 points1 point ago

U can get it at think geek .com

[–]vodkamartini 0 points1 point ago

I got one from ThinkGeek and it's the most awful and noisy thing in the world. Don't buy one. There's a reason the videos of it in action have no audio.

[–]JDubsBooth 0 points1 point ago

If you happen to live in Atlanta you can get them at the Junkman's Daughter.

[–]Waezel 0 points1 point ago

I have one of those! I got it at and airport in Japan!

[–]drbeene 0 points1 point ago

First thing I did this morning was buy this. Not 15 minutes later I received an email from Bank of America notifying me of "irregular debit card activity" and that they have put a temporary hold on my card. I then had to call BOA and tell them that the little USB dog that humps my laptop is, in fact, a legitimate purchase.

[–]shempcaligula 0 points1 point ago

I just ordered one! 5.60 What a deal! I should have bought 10 and given them for gifts!! I am an idiot!

[–]jp_lolo 0 points1 point ago

derrrrrrrrr

[–]allholy1 0 points1 point ago

I'm sure the link is somewhere in here... from 2007: http://digg.com/news/story/USB_Humping_Dog_Now_Stores_Files

[–]headlesslizard 0 points1 point ago

Mine broke :( It was a sad sad day

[–]Serpantking45 0 points1 point ago

Thinkgeek.com

[–]Kel-O-Tron 0 points1 point ago

No lie, I bought this a couple of weeks ago at the Narita Airport for my friend.

[–]zeevaa 0 points1 point ago

Oh Japan.. I saw these at the Narita airport a couple years back. Made my day haha

[–]shawn_iz 0 points1 point ago

[–]toastyseeds 0 points1 point ago

[–]iamaturkey0 0 points1 point ago

www.Thinkgeek.com sells them!

[–]Skrubby 0 points1 point ago

If OP provides someplace to send it, he can have mine. Send me a PM.

[–]rmeechan 0 points1 point ago

Oddly my mother bought me this as a stocking filler for Christmas 2009.

[–]Schoold 0 points1 point ago

In Japan, in Ginza. Chech the 45th floor by the plaza.

[–]driftsc 0 points1 point ago

you damn hipsters

[–]xdmpricex 0 points1 point ago

I got one for my IT dad at Narita airport on my way back to the states from Japan... He says all his co-workers are jealous.

[–]MyWUCHA 0 points1 point ago

So here are two things about this product that are a bit misleading from the link. 1) It actually goes much faster. I mean that dog will hump your computer as if his life depended on it. 2) It's incredibly loud. It was funny for the first 5 seconds and then it just got really annoying. Like its slightly unlikely to get any work done with something this loud and fast going off in the background.

[–]cboogie 0 points1 point ago

I dont know where but when...try going back in time nearly 10 years when I first saw this on ebaumsworld or stupidvideos.com.

[–]r0baj0b 0 points1 point ago

I've seen them in loads of shops in Tokyo

[–]DJWhizzy 0 points1 point ago

I saw these at Narita Airport in Japan

[–]tboneplayer15 0 points1 point ago

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]divafrenchie 0 points1 point ago

I have the same exact one, in original packaging, if you want it!!!

[–]john_dune 0 points1 point ago

thinkgeek