As a former avid game player myself, I often was at odds with myself over whether it was necessary to have all of the systems I owned hooked up to my television at one time or not. Although on the one hand, the ability to summon nostalgia wave on a whim excited me, the delayed gratification of rummaging around in my storage closet and rediscovering my old systems was a sensation that I thought I would miss.

Although the issue of space was a commonplace inconvenience for myself initially, the move to a new resience and the purchase of a new game-exclusive cabinet opened up a whole new world a gaming opportunities. Freedom does come at a cost, however, and this is where perhaps the third greatest conflict of my life manifested itself. I came to an impasse that presented itself to me as a true test to my gaming willpower. Would I succumb to the reddit hivemind that retro gaming was the future, or would I store away and retire my older systems for that day when I brought a newer generation of gamer into this world and demonstrated to them the systems of old? I eventually developed a system that would suit my needs.

Were it not for the fact that I had next to unlimited space for games in my new residence, the answer would be so obvious. I knew, as they say, why the caged bird sings. However, one cold winter morning while I sat on the throne for my morning bowel movement, inspiration struck. I realized that, as a true hipster, only games that came out 20-15 years ago were in vogue, and beyond that, only the cutting edge was acceptable. I rounded up any system I owned that did not fall within these sweet spots of glorious hipsterdom and filed them away for an era when it would not present an ethical issue to make space for them in my gaming cabinet. That being said, I had a few empty shelves in my cabinet that made it rather awkward to look at. I adorned the shelves with gaming paraphernalia that ousted me as the true hipster-gaming aristocrat that I was and demonstrated to all pleb visitors that I was the true face of what it means to be a gamer and that they were literal scum-of-the-earth useless wastes of space. That showed them.