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all 192 comments

[–]SL8Rfan 115 points116 points ago*

how the fuck does he brake, throttle, clutch, have circulation in his arms?

[–]sgtpepper_spray 75 points76 points ago

and steer beyond a certain degree. there is no logic to this bike

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

It's not about logic, it's about passion. Live free. Die hard.

[–]redmeanshelp 169 points170 points ago

Looks more like "die quickly."

[–]frontseatdog 14 points15 points ago

... possibly with some vehicular manslaughter along the way. There ARE other people on the road, crossing pedestrians, etc. Sheesh.

[–]slayer8a 34 points35 points ago

It's stupid.

[–]NotOfRedditHiveMind 6 points7 points ago

I don't know if its so much about passion as it is having a small wiener.

[–]LincolnHighwater 0 points1 point ago

I don't know if its so much about passion as it is having the smallest wiener.

FTFY

[–]GreyInkling 0 points1 point ago

Eh. I'd trust his bike more than I would a sport bike.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

What's wrong with sport bikes?

[–]GreyInkling 0 points1 point ago

In terms of how dangerous they are I mean. There's a reason a lot of bikers call them 'widow makers'.

[–]bizurk 1 point2 points ago*

Sportbikes are limited by their riders' grey matter. They have absolutely no problem going, turning or stopping with great alacrity. If the sport-rider is sober, dressed properly and has good judgement, he relies only upon cell-phone-toting idiot masses not to kill him.

This bike, however, is technically insufficient. Not only is the rider at the mercy of idiot cagers and poorly dressed, but he is piloting a vehicle that likely weighs 200lbs more than your average sportbike, has shoddy brakes, shoddy engineering, and has been modified to have no propensity to steer out of trouble.

Edit: he also has no windscreen and nothing on his face, so a big bug at 70mph could knock him silly.

[–]Praesumo 1 point2 points ago

My brother and I have a word for these bikes: "Ape Hangers." Orangutans on wheels, bitches!

[–]K1LL3RM0NG0 2 points3 points ago

well that word exists in the Harley world actually. "Ape Hangers" is used to describe anything like that. usually handlebars over 18 inches tall

[–]Praesumo -2 points-1 points ago

Cool. Never knew who coined it.

[–]JimmyChong 12 points13 points ago

You actually think Harley riders use the front brake?

[–]Vikaroo 2 points3 points ago

Harley? Maybe once upon a time, but this bike is about as Harley as a pony is a Clydesdale.

[–]JimmyChong 3 points4 points ago

Incorrect. Apart from the stupid ape hangers and dumb looking pipes, the rest of the bike is pretty much unchanged.

[–]Vikaroo -2 points-1 points ago

Aside from the custom body, custom paint, custom foot rests, and that doesn't even look like a Harley Engine.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Vikaroo -1 points0 points ago

Just because it's Harley Shaped doesn't mean it's a Harley, there are a TON of other companies out there making similar looking cruiser bikes - I was literally saying it looks like another brand cruiser.

[–]slippinsideways 0 points1 point ago

But it is a harley.

[–]wildlovemonkey 0 points1 point ago

Why wouldn't they? The front brake does the majority of the braking due to weight transfer. That's why most bike have dual discs in the front...

[–]JimmyChong 6 points7 points ago

There is an old belief with many cruiser/Harley riders that the front brake is dangerous and should not be used.

[–]bizurk 1 point2 points ago

Which is somewhat similar to the Harley rider beliefs that full-face helmets are dangerous, engine technology hasn't offered anything useful since 1950 and stickers/patches/leather/sunglasses are all you need to be badass enough to survive a get-off.

[–]Habanawanga 1 point2 points ago

You've worded it as if that's incorrect.

[–]bizurk 0 points1 point ago

Not sure if serious...... I will allow that your average sport biker tends to believe that T shirts and Jordans are proper riding apparel, wheelies are safe and F1 power:weight ratio is nothing to be respected/feared

[–]anon33344 -2 points-1 points ago

75% of your breaking power comes from the front.

[–]BinaryRockStar 9 points10 points ago

*brake

[–]raging_asshole 0 points1 point ago

Fucking seriously about the circulation, though. If I leave my arms up at that angle, I get uncomfortable tingling within about a minute.

[–]mclellac 2 points3 points ago

I think he rides with a constant boner. Less blood to contend with in the arms.

[–]Buscat 88 points89 points ago

I've always felt that one of the biggest problems with biking is that it's enjoyable. This guy has the answer to that.

[–]hokieflea 19 points20 points ago

also looking badass...this guy fixed that one too

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]grisbilen -1 points0 points ago

icwutudidthere

[–]DrkSnpr14 76 points77 points ago

That's just obcene, and probably dangerous. Neat though

[–]sgtpepper_spray 93 points94 points ago*

you just summed up America in one line

[–]funkosopher 18 points19 points ago

i'm a Canadian and I approve this message.

[–]iDontShift 28 points29 points ago

you just summed up Canada in one line

[–]StealthGhost 19 points20 points ago

Sorry we're out of bagged milk and syrup, sorry

[–]mclellac 0 points1 point ago

Don't forget the Ketchup chips and poutine.

[–]funkosopher 0 points1 point ago

true. AND I'M NOT SORRY

sry for caps

[–]abeuntstudiainmores 1 point2 points ago

I know I'm getting older when my first thought was, "Wow, that's dangerous, and a waste of money..."

[–]Kiwiteepee 7 points8 points ago

"Just raise the handlebars a bit higher."

[–]rootbeerismythang 16 points17 points ago

Sorry sir but we have to amputate both of them. The lack of blood flow after 4 hours killed all the tissue in the arms.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

Arms that have simply not been perfused, can remain viable for more than 8 hours of ischemia without total necrosis and the requirement for amputation.

[–]im_literally_hitler_ -2 points-1 points ago

Thanks... Dr.

[–]AngryEnt 6 points7 points ago

My gut is telling me that's not safe.

[–]xrand0m -1 points0 points ago

And that's what makes it so badass.

[–]RobSpewack 0 points1 point ago

Your gut literally has shit for brains. Why listen to it?

[–]sheeshSGL 6 points7 points ago

What an idiot

[–]partario_flinn 5 points6 points ago

Someone's about to get the tickles!

[–]pickupcar 24 points25 points ago

[–]khrak 7 points8 points ago

Sparks are travelling the wrong direction. The top of the wheel moves in the direction of travel.

[–]mccscott 1 point2 points ago

What do you use for brakes?

[–]Forgetheriver 17 points18 points ago

She IS the brakes!

[–]DrStephenPoop 3 points4 points ago

No. She's the ballast

[–]bizurk 0 points1 point ago

That looks like an f4, in which case, the human meat on top definitely outweighs the bike itself...... For reference, imagine a new Honda Civic with 5 baby grand pianos on its roof.

[–]RetardedSquirrel -2 points-1 points ago

MURRICAH!

[–]hughmanity 19 points20 points ago

Biker Mice from Mars.

[–]Alistracious 3 points4 points ago

None of their handlebars were ever that ridiculous!

Plus this bike doesn't seem to have any missiles or lasers or wall-driving equipment etc.

[–]sp4ce 1 point2 points ago

you're right. and i highly doubt it's martian, either.

[–]Alistracious 1 point2 points ago

It is clearly not from any Martian manufacturer.

[–]artgames 4 points5 points ago

If it was a gif you would see that the bike doubles as an exercise machine.

[–]Skimmerlit 5 points6 points ago

He looks like he's yelling hooray.

[–]Toastidge 5 points6 points ago

My shoulders hurt just looking at this.

[–]MrSnuffleupagussssss 8 points9 points ago

I found this a while back when researching: "overcompensating".

[–]Heidy_Lo 3 points4 points ago

WEEEEEEEEEEE!

[–]FlyWrennie 3 points4 points ago

STEVE HOLT!

[–]el0rg 0 points1 point ago

\o/

[–]Longjohn_Server 2 points3 points ago

That can't be safe.

[–]Bloodpool 2 points3 points ago

So you can only go straight in this fucking bike or what?

[–]littlebarnaby 2 points3 points ago

Slow loris biker?

[–]Douche-a-tron 2 points3 points ago

STEVE HOLT!

[–]sysiphean 2 points3 points ago

This keeps the pits dry. Probably cheaper than buyin deodorant in the long run.

[–]localh81 4 points5 points ago

Ape Hangers

[–]tha_ape 1 point2 points ago

I support Ape Hangers

[–]karmadecayin 14 points15 points ago

title comnts points age /r/
Rollin like a BIG shot 7coms 23pts 4mos funny
Only in Missouri... 249coms 401pts 1yr funny

source: karmadecay

[–]frontseatdog 1 point2 points ago

I've never seen anyone do that. Awesome.

[–]akiradavis 1 point2 points ago

Its a bot

[–]pumpkindog 0 points1 point ago

is it?

why are there so many different ones that do similar things? why do they only tag some reposts and not all?

[–]akiradavis 0 points1 point ago

Must be some image scan bot that scans if the image is indeed something its seen before. Maybe even though you already seen the image, it was the bots first time so it didnt post.

[–]masterbooner 5 points6 points ago

http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/9xhtHmrltUI/hqdefault.jpg Made me think of this. Relevant?

[–]beachjustice 8 points9 points ago

that fucking scared me.. you could put a creepy picture under that and make someone piss..

[–]Daz0k 0 points1 point ago

Tell me more about what scares you, Jack.

[–]shhoppe 1 point2 points ago

That was awesome!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]sydneygamer 0 points1 point ago

Well what did you expect?

[–]Alias135 1 point2 points ago

it's the Wario Bike

[–]Skolekid 1 point2 points ago

It's all fun and games until his arms fall asleep...

[–]DVsKat 1 point2 points ago

I'll bet his dominatrix whips him with those streamers.

[–]Arctic_Broadside 1 point2 points ago

In Missouri, circulation is simply an afterthought.

[–]Takeshiii 1 point2 points ago

I never have and probably never will understand this. Looks (is) uncomfortable, idiotic and very unsafe.

[–]mccscott 1 point2 points ago

Seems like you understand it just fine.

[–]Takeshiii 1 point2 points ago

Never thought about it that way. Thanks for making me feel more or less sane.

[–]garrisonMia 1 point2 points ago

I just realised, it's a 7 year old on an adult chopper!

[–]ksm6149 1 point2 points ago

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"

[–]Raballo 1 point2 points ago

This is one of those situations where just because you can doesn't mean you should.

[–]schmoejoe 1 point2 points ago

Clearly not enough height; he's still seated. Raise dem bitches till his feet are suspended off the pegs.

Then, and only then can we call this over the top.

[–]schavira 1 point2 points ago

Wario?

[–]da1hobo 1 point2 points ago

He has accomplished his mission. You are all looking at him.

[–]Kracus 1 point2 points ago

Being a clubmans fan... I shake my head.

clubmans in case anyone is curious.

[–]rkw6086 1 point2 points ago

Bikers alternative to antiperspirant. TALL ASS HANDLEBARS!!!

[–]TheAceMan 1 point2 points ago

Steve Holt!

[–]travisminor35 1 point2 points ago

I'm not surprised by this, it was taken in Missouri.

[–]Eric6759 3 points4 points ago

FAG!

[–]tontyismynameyeh 3 points4 points ago

Nah, he's just bike-curious.

[–]spider2544 3 points4 points ago

I wonder if john McCain would like this bike.

[–]YogiWanKenobi 1 point2 points ago

John McCain rode that bike for 4 1/2 years in an NVA camp.

[–]Maximman 3 points4 points ago

Worlds smallest penis...

[–]cheezr 1 point2 points ago

I don't think anyone will believe me, but I'm pretty sure my dad knows this guy.

[–]ENKC 34 points35 points ago

Cool story bro.

[–]sparx483 3 points4 points ago

So your dad knows him too then?

[–]jeffcityjon 1 point2 points ago

I see him roll through Jeff City every now and again. I heard he lives in STL.

[–]Rat_Bastard 0 points1 point ago

Pretty sure he does, Saw him two Mardi Gras in a row here.

[–]Scranzy 0 points1 point ago

where is the clutch and brake?

[–]ifap4 0 points1 point ago

The front brake is in the usual position-right hand lever-(you can see the brake fluid reservoir near his hand) The clutch is probably inside the left hand grip,some people use like a second "throttle" twist-grip on the left hand side to keep the bike looking neat and tidy.

[–]mccscott 2 points3 points ago

Maybe a suicide shift?Cuz..if you're gonna hide the linkage for the clutch,why wouldn't you hide the throttle and brake line linkage at the same time?Know what I mean,Vern?

[–]Scranzy 0 points1 point ago

thats nuts...suicide shifter seems accurate. I guess a better question would be how in the world do you get your hand torqued over enough to grab the brake.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Whoa, shit, it's Wario.

[–]KING_COCKASAURUS 0 points1 point ago

That's them cliffhangers.

[–]mccscott 0 points1 point ago*

Apehangers;These are not the parallel bars you're looking for

[–]dchapman1988 0 points1 point ago

Looks like you've found a whole new species of douchebag

[–]doggetay 0 points1 point ago

It's not a motorcycle, baby, it's a chopper.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

I'd rther have motorcycle with the chopper on the side

[–]mccscott 1 point2 points ago

WWII BMW with a sidecar is beautiful!

[–]Stonebag93 0 points1 point ago

Dumb as fuck.

[–]wildcard174 0 points1 point ago

If I actually saw this guy drive by, I'd laugh hysterically. He looks doofy.

And then probably get beat up.

[–]garrisonMia 0 points1 point ago

Great way to pick up a rotator cuff injury.

[–]Spectre108 0 points1 point ago

That's the highest set of ape hangers my ass has ever seen.

[–]shftn2gear97 0 points1 point ago

I see this bike quite often! Good ol' st charles missouri!!

[–]miners74 0 points1 point ago

I have seen this guy!

I've got virtually the same picture somewhere.

He's still cruising around town as far as I know. As the weather gets nicer I'm sure we'll have another sighting. Stand by...

[–]skytro 0 points1 point ago

Does he do pull ups at red lights?

[–]sax87ton 0 points1 point ago

Safety is of no concern.

[–]johnwallis42 0 points1 point ago

real "ape hangers"

[–]Thant2008 0 points1 point ago

I would like to point out that he has no need to steer or throttle or break. He's hot flames on his bike. Nough' said.

[–]go_for_gold 0 points1 point ago

That would happen in Missouri...I am such a proud resident!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

That looks incredibly uncomfortable

[–]lordsushi 0 points1 point ago

i wont feel sad when that guy is in a horrible accident

[–]diamondium 0 points1 point ago

That man is from a town called Defiance, Missouri! Population: 40. Number of Motorcycles: roughly 400.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

wario from what ever games wario has his motor cycle.

[–]lindseysu 0 points1 point ago

Apehangers are silly, and the taller they are, the sillier. The rule of thumb for handlebars is quite simple: your hands should not be above your heart. If they are, you will be uncomfortable within minutes. Whenever I see apehangers, I know the rider is more interested in looking cool than riding a motorcycle.

[–]tinkj916 0 points1 point ago

Good lord that looks mighty uncomfortable.

[–]NotOfRedditHiveMind 0 points1 point ago

At first my thought was, "Oh hey, there's someone like this in my area I've seen from time to time", then I look at the sign behind him and it says Missouri. So then I'm like, "OMG! Thats probably him!" since I live in MO. I've wondered how he can drive like that, but seriously, what kind of douche has a motorcycle like that? He probably has a small wiener...

[–]EmergencyExit85 0 points1 point ago

Looks like an old school torture victim. Hung by his hand

[–]laughingsutra 0 points1 point ago

Riding that past the DOT doesn't seem like a great idea...

[–]NE-Phil 0 points1 point ago

Stupid, stupid, stupid...

[–]inotocracy 0 points1 point ago

I've never understood why anyone would want to ride a motorcycle with tall handlebars. Granted, this picture is an.. exaggerated.. example, but still. Why? It can't be easy to maneuver and it looks absolutely ridiculous.

[–]iam101adit_61 0 points1 point ago

[–]SgtKoopa 0 points1 point ago

Maybe he has really sweaty armpits... and it's the only way to dey them ?

[–]Uehen 0 points1 point ago

Holy shit. I have 36 inch ape hangers on my bike, and it handles like a turtle. I cannot fathom trying to ride that thing.

[–]chefwear 0 points1 point ago

Finally! The come-at-me-bro-cycle!

[–]Redsox933 0 points1 point ago

If your bike is an expression of your personality this guy is a moron.

[–]BajczTheDamned 0 points1 point ago

Highly inappropriate usage of the phrase "YEAAAHHH"

[–]NYHCxPurity 0 points1 point ago

Ape Hangers at their best.

[–]anon33344 0 points1 point ago

I don't feel sorry for idiots like this who die riding a bike. This is down right retarded.

[–]PrettyUnoriginal 0 points1 point ago

Did I miss the Wario jokes?

[–]BuckFutter422 0 points1 point ago

[–]lolimanoob -1 points0 points ago

MURICA

[–]slayer8a -1 points0 points ago

Over-sized handlebars. Over-sized exhaust pipes. Over-sized fenders. Over-sized sissybar. Yeah. He's compensating.

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Ex_Digg_User 0 points1 point ago

More like World's biggest vagina.

[–]Byran125 -2 points-1 points ago

This is like the equivalent to raising your truck 3 feet.

[–]shortman1400 -1 points0 points ago

y u do dis?

[–]iam101adit_61 -1 points0 points ago

[–]frontseatdog -1 points0 points ago

Suddenly... anything.

[–]twohey24 -1 points0 points ago

What a fag(South Park Reference)

[–]Mayo117 -1 points0 points ago

I submitted this exact thing two weeks ago... Link of my post

[–]comrade_leviathan -2 points-1 points ago

Missouretards strike again.