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top 200 commentsshow all 283

[–]MattIfNeedBe 501 points502 points ago

Its called a shooter's sandwich: dave42 made it, This is the original post.

You sir are a thief.

[–]holycheddar 86 points87 points ago

Scumbag OP, takes credit for someone else's badass sandwich and doesn't even have the decency to credit the other guy OR EVEN FUCKING MAKE IT HIMSELF HE USES THE SAME PICTURES AND ALL.

[–]MattIfNeedBe 48 points49 points ago

Not only the same pictures, but the same imgur album, same imgur link, complete with descriptions of the photos.

[–]snarkyaardvark 24 points25 points ago*

Superintendent Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.

Seymour Skinner: Oh ho ho, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.

Superintendent Chalmers: For steamed hams ...

Seymour Skinner:Yes ...

Superintendent Chalmers: Yes, and you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Seymour Skinner:You know I— One thing I sh— Excuse me for one second. [Skinner walks into the kitchen and returns to the dining room.]

Seymour Skinner:Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

Superintendent Chalmers:Yes, I should be— Good lord, what is happening in there? Seymour Skinner:Aurora Borealis?

Superintendent Chalmers:Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?

Seymour Skinner:Yes.

Superintendent Chalmers:May I see it?

Seymour Skinner:No

Agnes Skinner:Seymour, the house is on fire!

Seymour Skinner:No, Mother. It's just the Northern Lights.

Superintendent Chalmers:Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.

[–]holycheddar 31 points32 points ago

Yep, fuck OP. OP is a douchebag. It would be one thing if he remade it, took his own pics, and linked to the original recipe; I wouldn't care if he did that, but OP is an asshole.

[–]lolgcat 25 points26 points ago

OP is always a faggot.

[–]Boodelijre 1 point2 points ago

THIS IS REPOSTEROUS!

[–]Thefelix01 0 points1 point ago

Worse than Hitler!

[–]Old_Man_Reddit 29 points30 points ago

Stealing posts? On the internet?

That's a paddlin'.

[–]BeastModeYouBeezy 37 points38 points ago

Atta boy. Your internet sleuthing saved me from exposing this man as a thief myself, hopefully the internet police will deal with him shortly.

[–]MattIfNeedBe 32 points33 points ago

No sleuthing involved actually. I saw the original when it was posted on /r/food and recognized it immediately. A sandwich like this isn't easily forgotten.

[–]Reddit_has_changed 15 points16 points ago

Hey OP, I stole this from your comment history! How do you feel?

[–]BeastModeYouBeezy 13 points14 points ago

Well you saved me a googlin', so that means you saved me from a sleuthin.

[–]TbanksIV 4 points5 points ago

HUEHUEHUEHUE

[–]Internet_FBI 1 point2 points ago

I'm working on it, there's just a lot of paperwork we have to deal with first.

[–]Felonia 1 point2 points ago

He done goofed.

[–]Sk1nnyB 2 points3 points ago

we back-traced it.

[–]Three38 13 points14 points ago

[–]MattIfNeedBe 5 points6 points ago

The recipe is well known. The post itself was what was stolen.

[–]killvolume 5 points6 points ago

It's not if you don't profit from it. Look at all the precious karma he's getting!

[–]jandalofdoom 4 points5 points ago

I hear once you get to 1,000,000 Karma you can cash it in for a plush Alien toy. That's what I heard anyway.

[–]Mikuta 1 point2 points ago

He's called Snoo.

[–]TRBS 9 points10 points ago

I remember seeing that post before too. A friend and I have made it as well, but we did things different.

We used venison from a deer my friend shot himself, baked our own bread, went without mushrooms (because they taste fucking nasty to us) and added Muenster cheese and grilled onions.

Most delicious thing I've ever had.

[–]MattIfNeedBe 5 points6 points ago

Could have also grown the onions and made the cheese. c;

In all seriousness, that's awesome. I was a little saddened that you didn't have a final picture of it post-press, but you guys did a fantastic job.

[–]TRBS 8 points9 points ago

Haha, true, true.

Also, here's what it looked like. The final press is not as even as the ones in the Guardian's article (or OP's post) since our bread isn't as uniform as the par-baked loaves you find at the store.

[–]MattIfNeedBe 6 points7 points ago

Still made my mouth water. I think, given that you killed the meat, found the fungus, and baked the bread, you're allowed to have a slightly uneven crust.

[–]SpaceCaseSixtyTen 0 points1 point ago

He actually omitted the fungus btw

[–]jt004c 0 points1 point ago

They skipped the fungus.

[–]n0vadragon 0 points1 point ago

and he made FIVE of them. i am so jealous right now.

[–]poop_streak 1 point2 points ago

i'd rather eat your version

[–]smoom 0 points1 point ago

Wow my mouth started salivating with food already IN my mouth, that looks amazing!

[–]ITS540PM 2 points3 points ago

It's called a shooter's sandwich for a reason, it's an old hunter's trick to make the sadwich, bring it out to the tree stand or ground blind and sit on it until lunch time. It's no one man's sandwich. It belongs to men. But I get what you mean about reposting someone else's imgur ablum.

[–]AGMS 2 points3 points ago

EPICMEAL TIME ONLINE COOKING SHOW EVERY TUESDAYS

[–]Gamernz 6 points7 points ago

My upvote has been revoked.

[–]itssheramie 1 point2 points ago

In cases like this, all the Karma anonym0ose got should turn negative

[–]bmoore87 3 points4 points ago

I have arrived far to late to say what I came here to say, all I can do is upvote you and everyone responding to you. Cheers.

[–]MattIfNeedBe 1 point2 points ago

tips his hat to you, and gives an understanding nod.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

It is at this point that as a community we have to act and DOWNVOTE THIS SHIT INTO OBLIVION. CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]MarloParlo 0 points1 point ago

Even tough it's not his own content, I still enjoyed it. Since he brought it to my attention I will post my version here. http://i.imgur.com/OHhad.jpg

It was fucking delicious.

Spoiler this thing gives you a massive shit!

[–]MattIfNeedBe 0 points1 point ago

If you haven't already, post it to /r/food! They love shooter's sandwich posts.

[–]MarloParlo 0 points1 point ago

thx, I will

[–]iwantthatpurpledrank 66 points67 points ago

Gonna be real tough, real tough, to not have sex with this sandwich.

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 4 points5 points ago

[–]always_pantsless 3 points4 points ago

While eating it.

[–]Confuseled 6 points7 points ago

I know that feel.

[–]KeroEnertia 44 points45 points ago

I love how the third steak is just gone, no explanation or anything.

[–]JayJayJokesterr 19 points20 points ago

You try cooking steak without eating pieces of it throughout the cooking process.

[–]mapkinase 3 points4 points ago

Exactly, that was the most unrealistic part of the process.

Steak cooks while you carry it on your manplate from your manstove to your manchair at your mancomputer. If you don't eat it while it sizzles, your manhood evaporates.

[–]ElmoNeedsAmmo 2 points3 points ago

[–]Maxables 80 points81 points ago

Electrical engineering? That's pretty smart. Theoretical physics? Pretty fuckin' smart.

This sandwich?

Fucking GEEEEENIUUUUUUUUS!!!

[–]The7xa 6 points7 points ago

MY MIND IS FUCKING BLOWN!!!!!!

[–][deleted] ago

[deleted]

[–]Maxables 0 points1 point ago

Egoraptor is hilarious, I'm glad you like him!

[–]cutesychu 68 points69 points ago

What about the third steak? Also, I think I shall make this for my boyfriend.

[–]HanselSoHotRightNow 39 points40 points ago

This is an easy explanation... it's impossible to make a sandwich without eating some of the ingredients while you work.

It is only logical that the OP ate the third steak during the "flattening" stage.

[–]DigitalEvil 13 points14 points ago

That's the only way. Everyone knows it's not possible to cook steak without eating it afterward. Not unless you have a decoy steak to enjoy.

[–]TomPalmer1979 9 points10 points ago

Mmmmmmmm decoy steak.

[–]kwansolo 0 points1 point ago

*fattening stage

[–]Felonia 0 points1 point ago

There is a four hour wait between sandwich-making and consumption. Steak-eating is perfectly acceptable.

[–]cutesychu 0 points1 point ago

I've heard of licking the spoon when making brownies, but never eating a whole steak while waiting for your giant sandwich to flatten, haha. Perhaps with a large appetite, this does seem logical lol.

[–]Shitragecomics 58 points59 points ago

'Atta girl.

[–]cutesychu 1 point2 points ago

;)

[–]Spartancarver 5 points6 points ago

The 3rd steak is there for you to eat while you wait 4 hours to flatten it.

[–]ihaveacalculator 0 points1 point ago

The fourth hour was a little excessive but the first three were mandatory.

[–]cutesychu 0 points1 point ago

Makes sense!

[–]mouser58907 1 point2 points ago

So.... If you don't already have a boyfriend, I'll go out with you for the minimum amount of Cooking+Preparation+Consumption time.

[–]Felonia 1 point2 points ago

Upon finding a girl who'll make that sandwich, any sane man would propose on the spot.

[–]cutesychu 0 points1 point ago

LOL. I do have a boyfriend momentarily, and I still plan to make this sandwich. Maybe next time though? =P

[–]Dannybaker 0 points1 point ago

It's with the first steak on the bottom of bread

[–]cutesychu 0 points1 point ago

Oooooh.

[–]lickthecowhappy 10 points11 points ago

W.... What did it do to your poop?

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

He'll let you know if it ever happens again.

[–]he_eats_da_poo_poo 0 points1 point ago

We shall wait until he delivers then.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

Man sized it.

[–]bingram 6 points7 points ago

What is wrong with your guys' colons? Every time I see a picture of food that isn't a caesar salad, there's always a few people that are saying "The real loser in all this is my butthole" and "Welp, better get out the Chipotlaway." Are your intestines made of paper?

[–]lickthecowhappy 0 points1 point ago

Too much protein doesn't clog you up? When I go to brazilian bbq I poop out a solid food baby later.

[–]bingram 0 points1 point ago

Probably a little, but not enough for for me to make a mental note of it.

[–]SL8Rfan 12 points13 points ago

i feel like i've seen this post before...but i like the reminder.

[–]cardinalpuff 2 points3 points ago

You probably saw this recipe that was posted before. It's pretty much the same sandwich sans bacon and swiss.

[–]SL8Rfan 8 points9 points ago

nah, i've seen this exact sandwich made the same way. i can't seem to find it but i know i've seen it before.

[–]MattIfNeedBe 4 points5 points ago

It is indeed a repost from /r/food. I did a double-take too.

[–]Gentlemann 2 points3 points ago

This is the post I saw last year. I've been making this sandwich since I lived in my previous apartment.

[–]You_Are_All_Diseased 5 points6 points ago

I have to admit, I thought this seemed pretty stupid until I saw the finished product.

[–]tekalei 33 points34 points ago

Cook bacon & steak, then wait 4 hours to eat? ...impossibru.

[–]KnaveMounter 40 points41 points ago

You eat the third steak while waiting

[–]jackshazam 3 points4 points ago

On the internet, we have porn to satisfy our sexual urges...but this is just unfair.

[–]Subaru71 3 points4 points ago

I can't believe he still hasn't told us what happened to phantom steak 3.

[–]TomPalmer1979 1 point2 points ago

He doesn't actually KNOW, because this is a repost and he stole it from the guy who actually made the steaks (and made one vanish).

[–]Garglemesh113 2 points3 points ago

MY MANWICH!

[–]Spartancarver 3 points4 points ago

Are these meant to be eaten cold then, or reheated after the 4 hours? Sorry for the noobish question, I'm rather new to preparing my own food.

[–]Recall_Coordinator 0 points1 point ago

Eaten cold, in the woods, in a hunting shack.

[–]Spartancarver 0 points1 point ago

Well shit, I better grow my beard back while I'm at it too.

[–]Fu_Man_Chu 3 points4 points ago

How is that sandwich not denser than a dying sun?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

Delicious witchcraft

[–]Vasistas 2 points3 points ago

Nice, but not a shooter sandwich. Just the same building method and some similar ingredients.

[–]whileinchina 2 points3 points ago

this is the most beautiful thing i have ever seen

[–]tarpdetarp 2 points3 points ago

Looks like that would create some soggy bread, you'd be much better off making/buying some pastry, blind baking it and then adding everything at the end like a pie.

In fact what you've just shown us is a lazy man's pie.

[–]812YARX 2 points3 points ago

So what do you do with the 3rd ribeye? i must have missed it

[–]Clit_Commander 1 point2 points ago

Obviously he fed it to the other steaks...

[–]chivere 6 points7 points ago

Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only one who can't eat steak without nearly dissecting it to make sure I don't eat any fat.

Otherwise, it looks pretty good aside from the fact that I'm pretty sure it has more calories than I'm allowed to eat for like two days...

[–]Citizen_Snip 2 points3 points ago*

I have that problem. I wanted to try one of these sandwiches, but not with steak, one because I like to cut around.fat, and two because it is too expensive. I ended up devising my own and it was fucking awesome.

I used two (or whatever you can fit the loaf) chicken breast butterflied .Cook and season the chicken as you like it, make sure it is completly cooked, but hold off on this for now. First cook 6 pieces of bacon in a skillet. Once the bacon is done ( not to crispy), add a diced onion to the bacon fat. Once the onion is cooked add spinach to it. Sautee the spinach, and drain the fat, and set aside.

Now cook the chicken. Once the chicken is done, quickly put the larger piece (if there is one) in the loaf first. Next cover the chicken completly with a layer of white american cheese. Next add the bacon. Then add the spinach and onions, then the next piece of chicken. Put a single slice of cheese on top, then close the loaf. Then wrap it and smush it. When you eat it, place the whole sandwhich in the oven on 300 still wrapped for about 30 minutes.

[–]he_eats_da_poo_poo 0 points1 point ago

When you say wrapped does that include just foil or the butcher paper too?

[–]Citizen_Snip 0 points1 point ago

Yeah. Remove all the weight, then just toss it in the oven.

[–]Mindrust 1 point2 points ago

You're not the only one. I can't tolerate fat or nerves on my steak.

[–]rustyshaklefurrd 0 points1 point ago

but the fat is delicious! please dont say you like it well too.

[–]chivere 0 points1 point ago

Nah, I don't eat my steaks well. I am not that much of a heathen. ;)

I just can't stand the way fat feels in my mouth. It's sort of rubbery and... urgh.

[–]auraslip 0 points1 point ago

What's wrong with the fat? Saturated fat is Good for your heart and metabolism!

[–]DirtyChickenLungs 5 points6 points ago

I. . .I love you. . .

[–]vamessedup 1 point2 points ago

A gravity-crafted sandwich? Yes, please.

[–]terminalmonky 1 point2 points ago

Just looking at it does the inner caveman good.

[–]Confuseled 1 point2 points ago

I'm drooling.

[–]DangerDasha 1 point2 points ago

I just bookmarked this so I can make it one day soon. Just brilliant!

[–]Dicky24 1 point2 points ago

My god

[–]TheGreatL 1 point2 points ago

I think I love you.

[–]hboo 1 point2 points ago

Wait four hours!!? How does one contain themselves in that time?!

[–]OMNOMNOM_BURP 3 points4 points ago

Eat the third steak.

[–]fayehanna 0 points1 point ago

I too noticed that he only used two steaks. I was writing everything down so I can make it for my boyfriend and had a wtf...? Moment. I briefly considered the possibility that I was retarded.

[–]xevian 1 point2 points ago

Broodwich mmmmm

[–]jwatkins29 1 point2 points ago

i scrolled from top to bottom at least 5 times in the attempt to vicariously experience the deliciousness of this manwich

[–]Zerg1290 1 point2 points ago

The third steak was obviously eaten as an appetizer, with some side bacon, but the side bacon is a given.

[–]Rusty-Shackleford 1 point2 points ago

It is impossible that a man made that manwich. I mean, look at that spotless stove-top. Who could make a sandwich that macho and remember to wipe down the stove?

[–]rodarmor 1 point2 points ago

I was so scared I was going to up the pic and it was just going to be giant dicks pressed together.

[–]kimisan_87 1 point2 points ago

Then slice thinly , Dip in batter, DeepFry for 3-4 min,

DIE HAPPY!!!

[–]laughtrey 1 point2 points ago

I was like "ugh how you gonna eat that it's wider than you can open your mouth"

and then you blew my fucking mind.

[–]savutano 1 point2 points ago

Reposted and reposted and reposted and you didn't even credit the original submission or name the sandwich properly. Go fuck yourself.

[–]Clit_Commander 1 point2 points ago

I came a little...

[–]VinnyDelFuego 1 point2 points ago

By the beard of Zeus................ Genius.

[–]TrueMilli 1 point2 points ago

[–]therealbobdole 5 points6 points ago

A smashed steak sandwich for around $50.00, I'll pass. Looks like like a good way to waste three perfectly good ribeyes.

[–]Clit_Commander 1 point2 points ago

One could easily substitute it with cheaper meat...

[–]fish_hog 0 points1 point ago

To keep the steak-n-bacon theme, sub with Steak-umms, the cheaper option and most delicious sandwich steak outside the butcher's shop.

[–]brooksy09 2 points3 points ago

So uhh...What happened to the third ribeye?

[–]raltyinferno 0 points1 point ago

2 on the bottom.

[–]Anticonn 3 points4 points ago

I have this bookmarked from 2 months ago when it was originally posted, and I really, really want to verbally abuse you for whoring a repost for karma, but it's just so damned delicious that I don't fucking care.

[–]klove614 2 points3 points ago

Repost.

[–]inshead 5 points6 points ago

Shut up and take my money!

[–]justanothercommenter 1 point2 points ago

I just fapped to this and it was like Stan Marsh's dad after 9 weeks with no internet.

I regret nothing.

[–]bingram 0 points1 point ago

S...spooky ghost!

[–]slothingtonjuj 1 point2 points ago

every man just got a total food boner

[–]highlandprincess 2 points3 points ago

Not just men, I got a pretty raging lady boner from this.

[–]i-speak-lies 0 points1 point ago

Yep. It's doing it for me, too.

[–]HailPresidentSkroob 1 point2 points ago

This is like Epic Meal Time made by and for people that don't still drag their knuckles on the ground. I'm going to sacrifice SO many virgins to praise you for this wonderful gift of Manwich. You truly are the king of kings.

[–]ScoWeazy 1 point2 points ago

It's really not advisable to leave cooked food out for 4 hours.

[–]qes 11 points12 points ago

wimp

[–]benisanerd 2 points3 points ago

4 hours is actually the limit, before bacterial growth ramps up. So, leave it for 4 hours and down it in a minute, you'll probably be fine.

[–]alienorange 5 points6 points ago

You guys are so full of shit. My friend and I ate chicken that had been sitting out for 27 hours 3 weeks ago and we are as happy as healthy clams.

[–]he_eats_da_poo_poo 0 points1 point ago

You are wrong.

[–]coolkid9 0 points1 point ago

Sure it is. Many things taste better at room temperature, and a little bacteria only makes your immune system stronger. I advise you to stop being a gigantic baby.

[–]allisonsk 0 points1 point ago

/r/FoodPorn

this looks amazing.

[–]VedicCat 0 points1 point ago

I don't even eat red meat, and I want this.

[–]benny121 0 points1 point ago

And this is why i don't like women making my sandwiches, NO PRIDE.

[–]daniibabanii 0 points1 point ago

I would make this for my man, but I think I would eat it before it gets to him.. 0.0 This is pure genius.

[–]AbsentReality 0 points1 point ago

Are you a wizard?

[–]kippirnicus 0 points1 point ago

Mother of god!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

Looks amazingly delicious. How many calories do you think is in that bad boy?

[–]hassett 0 points1 point ago

This is like medieval food.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

This comment serves merely as a bookmark. Tomorrow after much longboarding is had I shall make this.

[–]MGSGreyF0x 0 points1 point ago

i agree, and am doing the same.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

And how was your creation?!

[–]commonplatypus 0 points1 point ago

I fucking need this right fucking now.

[–]Milosky 0 points1 point ago

Great beard of Zeus I have lived 20 years and have never been alive.

[–]Pierced90 0 points1 point ago

This looks absolutely Delicious yum yum yum!

[–]Mr_Winston_Wolf 0 points1 point ago

My only concern: wouldn't the steak be a little tough/chewy? I am very tempted to try and make this tomorrow.

[–]raltyinferno 0 points1 point ago

My friends and I made this after seeing the original on /r/food, then we went to the gym while we waited to get extra hungry, then devoured it. It was pretty awesome.

[–]pwnguin909 0 points1 point ago

This...this is amazing.

[–]elbumzapatista 0 points1 point ago

[–]sheepman21 0 points1 point ago

How many calories per portion?

[–]mike213player213 0 points1 point ago

my taste buds just broke.

[–]Whaynes89 0 points1 point ago

i cant wait until i wake up to eat this

[–]asstits 0 points1 point ago

I saw this on /r/food

[–]comox 0 points1 point ago

Wrong! The "Here's what you are going to need" does not picture the 140lbs of barbell plates.

[–]kapowaz 0 points1 point ago

The Guardian posted a gallery with instructions a couple of years ago. I made one substituting the mushrooms (I hate mushrooms) for black olives chopped and stir fried with a little balsamic. Beautiful.

[–]Kabakov 0 points1 point ago

Sir, you have my deepest respect for creating this calorie bomb. Use it with care!

[–]ayedurr 0 points1 point ago

Genius. Simply genius.

[–]sukmeoff 0 points1 point ago

Happy Heart Attack, reddit!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

If I could upvote you life my dear sir, I would do so.

[–]BlTCH 0 points1 point ago

You rat bastard son of a bitch!!!!!!!!!!!

LOUD NOISES

[–]RedPulse 0 points1 point ago

I read these instructions in the Epic Meal Time voice.

[–]styckk 0 points1 point ago

I'm sitting in lecture and just laughed so hard at the 140lb part. :(

Looks awesome and will definitely try this!

[–]Favoritism 0 points1 point ago

I think this could be sped up by spending 10 minutes flattening, and then tossing it on a panini press for a couple more minutes.

[–]Fast_Rita 0 points1 point ago

Can I pay you karma points on Tuesday, for this sandwich I post today?

[–]goonerredandwhite 0 points1 point ago

Are you that rich that you can afford to hollow out a perfectly good loaf of bread?

[–]Sanfrandan 0 points1 point ago

Sure it's cool, but it's no ulti-meatum

[–]meantism 0 points1 point ago

can i blend it

[–]winstonlegthigh 0 points1 point ago

You call that a manwich?

Obviously you've never been bored while working at a sandwich shop.

[–]katushkin 0 points1 point ago

The best part was the link to a hunger crisis charity on the right hand side.

[–]gu5 0 points1 point ago

Did he mean Worcestershire sauce?

[–]Kilgannon_TheCrowing 0 points1 point ago

This. Changes. Everything.

[–]Recall_Coordinator 0 points1 point ago

I wonder what the calorie density per sq/in is on this thing. Seems like an interesting way to compact delicious life sustaining calories.

[–]goofyasiankid 0 points1 point ago

Reminds me of these guys

[–]piratesbooty 0 points1 point ago

Fuck faggoty reposts.

[–]BridgetteBane 0 points1 point ago

I'd like to point out that letting meat sit out four hours at any temp under roughly 140 and above 45 degrees Farenheit is a great way to grow your own bacteria. What foodborne illness will it be today folks?

[–]mtrush98 0 points1 point ago

....question is can i beat you to the patent office....

[–]holyshyeet 0 points1 point ago

drool... you bastard. I must have this now.

[–]slurpme 0 points1 point ago

I was with you up until the "warp in butchers paper"... I would have started eating... And maybe not so much cheese...

[–]klitchell 0 points1 point ago

Man you can't fool the internets, we's a wily bunch