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WTF

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top 200 commentsshow all 403

[–]Milfburger 948 points949 points ago

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[–]springwheat 122 points123 points ago

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You sweet motherfucker!

[–]flclreddit 28 points29 points ago

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Uh... that is to say... I think that she... is actually, uh, "Mother being fucked".

Also, she is a burger.

[–]Phil56731 36 points37 points ago

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BILF.

[–]SueW00p 1 point2 points ago

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BILE

[–]aidaman 45 points46 points ago

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This was the octopus's finest hour. He can eat all the fish in the sea, but for fuck's sake he just caught a bird!

[–]deanz113 42 points43 points ago

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find this in r/wtf http://i.imgur.com/8RwkG.jpg

[–]DoWhile 18 points19 points ago

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Red Bones give you wings?

[–]ihatebigspoon 12 points13 points ago

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Red Wings gives you bones ;)

[–]tr1cky1 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah, I always pick those out in a bucket of KFC too...

[–]Kryten_2X4B_523P 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Major_Colvin 2 points3 points ago

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Could I get a piggy back ride?? :D

This awesome video has seagulls and octopuses! Everyone should see it!

[–]AbortionBurger 4 points5 points ago

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I'm pregnant, does this mean I'm about to turn into you?

[–]Aristipp 1 point2 points ago

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If you´re hot.

[–]AbortionBurger 7 points8 points ago

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Come on, with a name like AbortionBurger, I have to be hot.

[–]aaomalley 2 points3 points ago

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Wait, you're abortionburger but you're pregnant? Someone get the wire hanger

[–]clockworknovak 4 points5 points ago

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And fire up the grill!

[–]1zero2two8eight 1 point2 points ago

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This is the single greatest fix I have ever seen.

[–]DCdeer 1 point2 points ago

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I just did the 19 video no cry challenge so thank you so much for making this and reminding me i can still laugh my ass off.

[–]BluntMastermind 1 point2 points ago

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The amount of win you just demonstrated could power the world for centuries.

[–]Drunken_Zoologist 291 points292 points ago

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Fuck. They've evolved wings. There goes my dissertation. I need a drink.

[–]Craysh 119 points120 points ago*

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Octogull! Somebody will get a Syfy writer on that.

And seriously relevant username.

[–]JerkJenkins 25 points26 points ago

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I made a few calls. It's approved for the summer of 2013.

[–]ryugan 39 points40 points ago

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With a budget of $500.

[–]The_Painted_Man 9 points10 points ago

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With a guaranteed lens-flare every 13.5 seconds...

[–]runsoutofspace 6 points7 points ago

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$400 of that is for pizza.

[–]Johann_828 5 points6 points ago

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So, twice the normal budget?

sweet.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 15 points16 points ago

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shit they already have sharktopus, this is the only logical next step

[–]Kingfoot 17 points18 points ago

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Sharktogull.

Fuck.

[–]Windows_97 1 point2 points ago

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What about Octopussy?

[–]pinchin_loaves 1 point2 points ago

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It can't be better than my all-time favorite, Mansquito

[–]Drunken_Economist 24 points25 points ago

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You and I should join forces.

[–]Dude_Im_Godly 4 points5 points ago

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I WAS SUPPOSE TO BE THE BIG TO YOUR ROB. :l

This is what you've done to my dream.

[–]Drunken_Economist 1 point2 points ago

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I swear this isn't what it looks like!

[–]lud1120 12 points13 points ago

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Did you study close to Drunken_Economist ?

[–]wallychamp 25 points26 points ago

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Different schools of drinking.

[–]Drunken_Economist 16 points17 points ago

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We should start some sort of University.

[–]Eriden 14 points15 points ago

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A university full of drunks? Arizona State beat you to it.

[–]KNHaw 5 points6 points ago*

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Flying octopi octopuses are bad enough, but when they get opossible thumbs, so much for us hairless apes.

EDIT: There appears to be a debate on the preferred plural form, but on review I'll call it a majority decision by the judges and make the change. The official results are Guttersniper over octopi in 5 rounds.

[–]JonnyDiablo 9 points10 points ago

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Pretty sure a flexible arm covered in suction cups is better than two thumbs. Not to mention, they've got fucking EIGHT of them.

Basically, we're fucked. ALL HAIL CTHULHU!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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octopuses

Fixed that for you. If you want to be really technical you can say octopodes. It's my one piece of grammar nazi trivia that I like to share. It's not pluralized with an "i" since the word comes from Greek not Latin so you can either use the standard English pluralization and use an "s" or you can do it as you would in Greek and use "odes".

It is one of those things where people are wrong so often that it's becoming right but I try to fight the "octopi".

[–]TripleVerbosity 399 points400 points ago

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Octopus Angel. What now atheists?

[–]GeneralWarts 115 points116 points ago

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Now we pray it hasn't been sent to end us.

[–]SpecialOops 29 points30 points ago

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that or we spray with pesticide.

[–]mechasmokey10 22 points23 points ago

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Fuck pesticides! BLOW THAT FUCKER UP!!!

[–]Vinator 17 points18 points ago

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Kill it with fire

[–]mechasmokey10 34 points35 points ago

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It's in water...

[–]king_of_blades 5 points6 points ago

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Extreme times call for extreme measures.

I say set the water on fire.

[–]bradsohood 9 points10 points ago

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I'll bring Adele.

[–]Underdogz 3 points4 points ago

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Adele = Snorlax + Jigglepuff

[–]CS22 1 point2 points ago

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Adele = Snorlax + Jigglepuff + JINX.

FTFY.

[–]Darkraizenri 1 point2 points ago

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It was hard enough setting fire to the rain.

[–]Vinator 10 points11 points ago*

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Pour fuel over it...

Or fish it out of the water and grill it

[–]mechasmokey10 0 points1 point ago

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Your comma placement intrigues me. Also, that makes no sense.

[–]Vinator 5 points6 points ago

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That's why it's posted by me.

[–]mechasmokey10 3 points4 points ago

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It still makes no sense. Also, you may be crazy.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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So... Pikachu or a Bulbasaur?

[–]bfgbasic 14 points15 points ago

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Pikachu. It will be 2x super effective on its water-flying ass.

[–]BPMan 1 point2 points ago

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BP MAN HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!

[–]australia080 5 points6 points ago

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Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.

[–]OnionLord 34 points35 points ago

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I have converted to Pastafarianism, just in case.

[–]bitcheslovedroids 23 points24 points ago

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R'amen

[–]TheTubaLord 7 points8 points ago

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I find your choice of faith disturbing.

[–]RockyRhode 24 points25 points ago

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I find it... delicious...

[–]SirAuron[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Well, you will be happy to know that I converted to Tubahism just for you.

[–]IsTom 30 points31 points ago

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Cthulhu has wings, remember.

[–]Vthokie15 9 points10 points ago

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Cthulhu..?

[–]TheMadPoet 1 point2 points ago

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yes.

[–]hedeman 6 points7 points ago

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Was it a match between the two or case of found carcas?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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I will explain this.

The octopus is representative of the eight directions from the origin in mathematics which is the alpha and the omega or the infinite wisdom of God or the universe plus everything that happened before or happened in the past or is happening right now. The octopus sprouting wings in this fashion is helping us to see that Mind Flayers will be the next evolutionary replacement of humanity when we succumb to our avarice and our hubris.

All hail his Noodly Appendage! THE FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER IS COMING!!! ALL HAIL EMPEROR KING CTHULU!!!!!

[–]Dulljack 9 points10 points ago

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This is clearly indisputable evidence of evolution.

Suck it, theists.

[–]schmoseph 3 points4 points ago

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I believe reddit may have founded a new religion...

[–]mygoditshim 4 points5 points ago

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Now we nuke it from orbit. It is the only way to be sure.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]One-FISH- 1 point2 points ago

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I'm pretty sure that that's just a new, evolved Octopus. Someone didn't press B enough while that was happening.

[–]Nabbicus 1 point2 points ago

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[–]JabbrWockey 1 point2 points ago

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Where is shitty watercolor when you need him?

[–]2Toned 88 points89 points ago

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Unleash the kraken!

[–]lolzergimba 54 points55 points ago

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we do not sow

[–]ertebolle 25 points26 points ago

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We are not subjects, we are not slaves. We take what is ours.

[–]AcesCharles2 9 points10 points ago

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What is Dead May Never Die

[–]veritablequandary 33 points34 points ago

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No no, it's "we do not sew," as in, we buy all of our clothes new off the rack - no alterations! And we pay the iron price for them (which is typically 25-30% off retail, more if you have a coupon).

[–]Sybertron 2 points3 points ago

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The rack you say?

[–]Kaeltan 7 points8 points ago

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That octopus paid the iron price for his meal.

[–]archaic_translation 10 points11 points ago

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Emancipate yon decapod!

[–]jimpen 2 points3 points ago

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"UNLEASH THE KRAKEN!

What?...What do you mean he's not here? Sigh. Fine.

UNLEASH THE KRAKEN'S LITTLE BROTHER!"

[–]Morally_Inept 4 points5 points ago

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Kraken rum is delicious

[–]will_at_work 82 points83 points ago

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maybe they're just kissing...underwater... they both have beaks

[–]2Toned 60 points61 points ago

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They could mouth-scissor.

[–]paetactics 33 points34 points ago

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Scissor me timbers!

[–]ThatOtherGai 5 points6 points ago

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Oh we're scissoring real good! Oooh yeah!

[–]iancole85 2 points3 points ago

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I am literally about 3 minutes from passing out for the night, and you have given me the mental image of mouth-scissoring with an octopus beak.

Great.

[–]KNHaw 27 points28 points ago

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Obviously a subspecies of the endangered Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus.

[–]theoctopusdoctor 8 points9 points ago

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100% factual.

[–]360walkaway 35 points36 points ago

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Octopus: 2 Shark: 0 (turn down your volume while watching... the commentary is full of sarcasm-failure).

[–]justonecomment 16 points17 points ago

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Octopus: 3 Humans: Well we eat them, but they kill us too...

edit - even worse: Octopus: 4 Humans: fucked.

[–]johnq-pubic 11 points12 points ago

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The guy is getting his face chewed off, and the camera man doesn't help WTF.

[–]jawaMilk 14 points15 points ago

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Worst diving partner ever

[–]little_chopper 1 point2 points ago

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EXACTLY what I was thinking. A man dies, and we get to see the footage.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Not sure if I want to watch that clip.

[–]Yadizinha 18 points19 points ago

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Spoiler: Nobody dies.

[–]drewsus 2 points3 points ago

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Then it was a draw!
Octopus: 3 Humans: 0 Draw: 1

[–]360walkaway 12 points13 points ago

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I love the YouTube comments... "if that were me I'd arm-bar and rear-naked choke it."

Good luck arm-bar'ing an octopus' tentacle.

[–]drewsus 4 points5 points ago

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I'd imagine everything he said "was the joke."
But, it is just as probable that I am mistaken and he was serious. I've had enough conversations with people that are serious about taking down various creatures one on one.

[–]tonnix 4 points5 points ago

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It didn't kill the guy, he's lucky

[–]Legio_X 1 point2 points ago

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The largest octopus in the world...a whole 35 pounds.

That's right, almost as heavy as that golden retriever puppy you saw the other day.

Just not the same as a giant squid, eh. Or one of those newfangled colossal squid.

[–]k3xiceman 1 point2 points ago

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And the award for most misleading YouTube video title goes to......... Giant Octopus Kills Diver!

I was lead to believe that I was watching an octopus kill a dude! I feel used.

[–]Raging_cycle_path 3 points4 points ago

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Wow, why are so many American shows narrated towards a 2 year old audience?

[–]360walkaway 1 point2 points ago

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Most networks live in fear of losing the money they get from advertising, so they make everything as corny/bland as possible to prevent anything that might be seen as politically incorrect or racially insensitive or whatever.

The ironic part is that reality shows do the exact opposite of this and it's glorified.

[–]lumberjack_flapjack 6 points7 points ago

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I like how it says the octopus only leaves his home to eat and to mate, wonder what he had in store for that guy...

[–]pseudolobster 59 points60 points ago

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Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn!

[–]BrokN9 18 points19 points ago

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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

[–]holysocks 30 points31 points ago

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[–]lumberjack_flapjack 21 points22 points ago

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They look like shitty 2d photoshop when they are out of the water.

[–]unexceptional 8 points9 points ago

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oh my god, that's like that world in Super Mario Sunshine.

[–]theoctopusdoctor 5 points6 points ago

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This is not healthy octopus behavior.

[–]DoctorHandwaver 4 points5 points ago

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I'm pretty sure that's a pidgeon.

[–]justLinds 21 points22 points ago

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Nature becomes more and more terrifying every time I browse reddit.

[–]PasswordLost 10 points11 points ago

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Why are there so many dead birds on /r/wtf now?

[–]bunnyflop 6 points7 points ago

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/r/wtf is now full of ornithologists.

[–]bobfoot1990 5 points6 points ago

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Necrorinthologists*

[–]drewsus 2 points3 points ago

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Its pretty safe so long as you stay inside browsing reddit. It's discovering terrifying nature when in terrifying nature that things get really terrifying.

[–]justLinds 1 point2 points ago

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Your comment just made my day.

[–]drewsus 1 point2 points ago

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all in a days work, sir.

[–]horromantic_dramedy 2 points3 points ago

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Seagulls: the rats of the sky!

I am team octopus all the way.

[–]mraimless 1 point2 points ago

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I was shit on by a seagull while celebrating my birthday on a bar's patio last summer. 2 months earlier I was shit on while tailgating for a baseball game.

I've never killed an animal in my life, but I am going to war the moment they lose their federally-protected status.

[–]EpicJ 2 points3 points ago

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I've seen enough hentai to see where this is going.

[–]ChaosBeast 3 points4 points ago

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Cthulhu Jr.

[–]martoo 1 point2 points ago*

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No, it's Seagullpus, a distant cousin of Sharktopus

[–]ed19 2 points3 points ago

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HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR?

[–]i_drink_vino 9 points10 points ago

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Seagull: "Mine! Mine! Mine!"

Octopus: (grabs seagull, in Duke Nukem voice) "Mine..."

[–]haiku_robot 3 points4 points ago

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Seagull: "Mine! Mine! Mine!"      
Octopus: *(grabs seagull, in 
Duke Nukem voice)* "Mine..."

[–]Hark_An_Adventure 2 points3 points ago

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I, for one, welcome our new octogull overlords.

[–]jxj24 2 points3 points ago

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"Daddy says that every time a seagull dies, an octopus earns its wings!"

[–]ericzmeh 2 points3 points ago

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I have never seen an octopus so close to land before. I'm never going in the ocean again.

[–]shifty1776 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Slypook 7 points8 points ago

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Poor Steven Seagull.

[–]carbonfilter 1 point2 points ago

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Get my pies out of the oven.

[–]SeamusMcCullagh 2 points3 points ago

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Serves it right. Fuck seagulls.

[–]real_nice_guy 1 point2 points ago

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you sure the octopus didn't just drink a Red Bull?

[–]fairwayks 1 point2 points ago

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Icarus Octopus

[–]5thAccount-LostPWs 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, I wonder if the seagull will recover and try to even the score out.

[–]YummyCar 1 point2 points ago

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No. Plain and simple.

[–]prettyawkwardpenguin 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know what I was expecting

[–]jonalex5 1 point2 points ago

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that is a stone cold killer

[–]Monktushu5 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like a new Pokemon to me.

[–]easygenius 1 point2 points ago

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This is one of those times when I think about scale and how terrifying this battle would have been at 20x size.

[–]trinity_Omegalisk 1 point2 points ago

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Tentacruel used wrap. Wingull fainted.

[–]soundenvision 1 point2 points ago

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Seagull: 2

[–]igor_iron_cup 1 point2 points ago

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Prolly the final score as well

[–]yournotright 1 point2 points ago

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Oil sheen: 1 Octopus and Seagull: 0

[–]Dunga_Do_Balls 1 point2 points ago

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Octopus being fed Redbull?

[–]taffybeast 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know what I expected.

[–]soapboxdiva 1 point2 points ago

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Be afraid, be very afraid, Octopi are so smart I think they're going to take over the world.

[–]4gnaaa 1 point2 points ago

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Go primitive life form!

[–]abearwithcubs 1 point2 points ago

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It looks like the octopus built itself wings, Icarus-style.

[–]lauradactyl 1 point2 points ago

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This is what happens when you try to play God with genetic testing: octopus-seagull hybrid monsters. Is this really what you want, people?!

[–]Tmps3 1 point2 points ago

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false: that is evolution at work, what you see before you is the coming of Cthulhu.

[–]Saskuel 1 point2 points ago

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That is badass that that octopus has wings

[–]comejoinus 1 point2 points ago

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Honestly, I haven't even clicked on the link yet. Your username made me cackle and that's the only real reason I upvoted you.

[–]spartansheep 1 point2 points ago

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IT'S A POKEMON!!!! otherwise these just seems unnatural...

[–]herospy 1 point2 points ago

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He is just giving him a really big hug...underwater.

[–]dangeraardvark 1 point2 points ago

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What is dead may never die.

[–]Nyssa_Hotaru 1 point2 points ago

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silly octopus... you can't glue wings on and fly!

[–]thefuckthisshitman 1 point2 points ago

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Flying Octopus, Foctopus??

[–]natherex 1 point2 points ago

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The Seagull can still comeback and win. I believe in you!

[–]rogueleaderr 1 point2 points ago

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I immediately thought of this: http://defaultprime.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/sephiroth-boss.jpg

Sepiroth FTW.

[–]LordOctopus 1 point2 points ago

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Rise my minions, and slay those who intrude on our domain!

[–]Mancott 1 point2 points ago

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GO WINGS!!!!

[–]mcrugin88 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like that octopus had a red bull.

[–]ldvatwa 1 point2 points ago

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Are we sure this isn't Sci-Fi's new original Octogull?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Redditors are going to spend so much time findig a "Octupus: 1 Seagull: 1" pic

[–]TGMN1585 1 point2 points ago

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Or... Angelic octopus?

[–]dalgeek 1 point2 points ago

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Damn nature, you scary.

[–]Sicarium 1 point2 points ago

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Lot of dead birds on reddit today

[–]KRSFive 1 point2 points ago

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The Japanese winged-octopus, taking tentacle rape to a whole new level.

[–]flogginmama 1 point2 points ago

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Mine? (finding nemo reference, heh heh)

[–]itsbigboss 1 point2 points ago

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Man nature, you scary!

[–]BrandoCaL 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like this seagul really ( puts on sunglasses ) Stuck the landing "YEEEAAAAHHHH"

[–]Mystic_printer 1 point2 points ago

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It´s a dragon!!

[–]wanderederer1 1 point2 points ago

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now kiss.

[–]bearded_wonder_atx 1 point2 points ago

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Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!!

he is risen!

[–]CS22 1 point2 points ago

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RULE 34

[–]maaatin 1 point2 points ago

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Yesterday I hit my head really hard, and now it hurts to move my head in certain ways. I saw this picture and immediately raised my eyebrows, only to grasp my head and scream in a surge of immense pain.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]smd69 1 point2 points ago

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its the flying spaghetti monster

[–]BigD_Rocks 1 point2 points ago

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That's some beak on beak action right there.

[–]exousic 1 point2 points ago

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CTHULHU 2012

[–]yellow17 1 point2 points ago

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Apparently it was "best of 1"

[–]00fordmc 3 points4 points ago

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They are pretty badass. That's why octopus is my favorite sushi. When I eat them I absorb their powers. Their delicious, Seagull killing powers.

[–]AsskickMcGee 4 points5 points ago

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Victorias Secret Fashion Show: Bering Strait Edition.

[–]magicbullets 1 point2 points ago

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That's a bad end, dear gull.

[–]TripleVerbosity 2 points3 points ago

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Gulls octo' avoid those waters

[–]awesome_tara91 1 point2 points ago

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Redbull! It gives you wings!

[–]delerpian 2 points3 points ago

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I'm calling shenanigans on this picture. I highly doubt an octopus would be able to take down a seagull like that unless it had some sort of dart gun. Clearly this is a picture of the rarely known Flying Octopus, indigenous to the northern shores of Australia. Duh Reddit. Don't you know anything?

[–]francisc0121 15 points16 points ago

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Uh, you know that seagulls.... you know, float on water?

[–]NorthernSpankMonkey 3 points4 points ago

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Shenanigans I say!

[–]Malkav1379 2 points3 points ago

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I'm going to pistol whip the next person who says 'shenanigans'!

[–]memophage 2 points3 points ago

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The Flying Octopus must clearly be related to the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus

[–]N05f3r47u 0 points1 point ago

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Octopus has evolved into.......