Every Redditors first post.

RedditNoir · 4 months

The gutters of Reddit's streets are clogged with first posts. They circle drains and gum up sewers, sticking in places that no one will ever find them. You can always spot the new guys out of the crowd. They come fresh off of buses from 9gag and 4chan, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, waiting to post their latest rage comic. I give 'em about a week before they're hardened and cynical, having seen their dreams crushed over and over by a pile of downvotes. They sit, broken, on the sidewalks of the default subreddits, panhandling for karma. Some of them get desperate; they turn to a life of quick karma, posting advice animals and crowd-pleasing comments. The desperation oozing from these posts reeks like trash sitting out on a muggy summer day.

It's hard to catch a break in this city. POLITE_ALLCAPS_GUY and his crew had an unspoken monopoly over the front page, and anyone who's anyone knew it. If you wanted your post to see the light of day, you had to kiss the ring. "GOOD ONE, FRIEND" became a mark of approval; a message that you might live to post again.

But I wasn't just any new user. I knew about this back-room cartel of mods and power users, and I was determined to bring it down. Unfortunately, they knew about me too, and were determined to put me six feet under.

Jux_ · 4 months

"This AskReddit post got on the frontpage! I'm going to be good at this! But where's my karma for it?"

guluru · 4 months

A Jedi Platypus riding a tiger just sounded like such a good idea at first...

SANDBOX1108 · 4 months

Unless its a hot girl posting on r/gonewild

Shitty_Watercolour · 4 months

http://imgur.com/rHTsh

luke5986 · 4 months

Damnit Bobby!

darkdemon42 · 4 months

My first real post got over 500 upvotes. I was a happy man that day. Since then my best was 7...

[deleted] · 4 months

I deleted my first post, after realising it made me look like a dick.

GoogleBetaTester · 4 months

and second...and third...and...

wait, that's just me.

LaserBack · 4 months

I know that feel Bro

HeartOppossum · 4 months

My sister literally did that once except instead of flying into her face it went into the back of my dad's head.

one-eleven · 4 months

Mine got to the front page, I was famous, men wanted to be me, women wanted to be with me, life was grand, then, then it went away, it all went away....so....quickly.

FrozenBananaMan · 4 months

Confirmed :(

Wasn't my first post, but used this gif 5 days ago. Wahhh.

MuckYu · 4 months

nope, mine got on the frontpage :D

worskies · 4 months

That is how every post goes for me.

bewk · 4 months

Every post of mine ever.. :(

Newdles · 4 months

My very first post had 1,586 upvotes (after all the downvotes were counted)

suckmybattery · 4 months

I just wish this had been your first post...

Ghede · 4 months

I had an awesome first post, but i failed with the follow through. I couldn't get the direct link to the english version of the web-page, so i said "fuck it" and deleted it.

Next thing I know the link is on boing boing and shit. Damnit. Now I'd be scooping them.

It was a link to edible gold spraypaint. I was curious after seeing the 5sf with the gold pizza. I found a german website that sold it. IF ONLY I HAD FOLLOWED THROUGH, REPOSTED IT REPEATEDLY UNTIL IT WAS SEEEEEEEEN.

DuskfallBand · 4 months

I dislike how reddit upvote system reinforces the herd mentality. Unpopular and alternative opinions get burried by downvotes and no one gets to read them. It's like people on reddit don't like their views to be challenged. While it's in fact very healthy to review your opinions from time to time to check if you are really right.

blaghart · 4 months

it scares me how well this syncs up

mastersprinkles · 4 months

That's weird, this looks like my first 50 posts..

Vapoureon · 4 months

Actually, my first link didn't do too poorly.

IgnasMikenas · 4 months

False

Explain Neil deGrasse Tyson

Scuttlebuttz93 · 4 months

My first post made the front page ;)

trout4steak · 4 months

that was def me this am. Fixed it though and posted in a better subreddit thanks to the advice of some dude.

dweeb_ · 4 months

My first post went abnormally well. It set unrealistically high expectations for me. All consecutive posts were disappointing.

LizardRock · 4 months

my first post got me 1,837 up votes and 1,438 down votes. i was pretty happy,

Ecorin · 4 months

Not true, my first post (mind you, it was a silly rage comic) got good reception and still the only link karma i have.

Foofsies · 4 months

What about that guy that posted a picture of the 'Best. Pen. Ever.' right after he had joined? 1K+ karma, right off the bat.

JayTS · 4 months

My first post was my only post to get more than 100 upvotes. 90% of mine don't even get 10.

Looking back on it, I just realized that my first post was the only one I've made to /r/trees. It all makes sense now.

Stompystomp · 4 months

Except for this guy's first post.

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/sb1lv/omegle_gameshow_my_friend_and_i_did_furst_post/

Michael_J_Foxtrot · 4 months

LIES!! My first post got the most amount of upvotes I have attained in one go, subsuquent posts have either been ignored or downvoted. Which hurts, cause everyone here seems really cool, and finding out your not cool is, well, not cool :(

Jumping_Candy_Cane · 4 months

False. my first

Vinator · 4 months

First? I still post like this.

thug4aday · 4 months

and you did this without using imgur!! this truly must be a first post indeed

DaCheat61 · 4 months

My first post was a picture of a sucker, and received over 900 karma for it got to 26th place at one point.. lol

Reddit is one confusing mistress.

Khromasoul · 4 months

A good way to counteract this is to be really tall and just post pictures showing how tall you are.

MetaX24 · 4 months

Well, good thing this will never have to happen to me.

gattofila · 4 months

I thought my first one went well! :D

Conky_ · 4 months

I believe I received 3 up-votes my first post, by far one of my greatest achievements.

spunkyweazle · 4 months

Mine actually did kind of decent. Of course that gave me the false impression that getting to the front page was easy.

The_Luv_Machine · 4 months

False. My very first post made it to the 3rd spot on the front page. But I failed more times than I've succeeded since then.

Alveia · 4 months

I get it, every redditor's first post is a repost.

caburke · 4 months

Let me get on my high horse here and say my first post made front of funny with 900 up votes.

xG33Kx · 4 months

Learned not to post halloween pumpkins a few hours late.

[deleted] · 4 months

Although, just remember: We all get to the front page once. The front page of the 'new' tab on the main page.

NonAmerican · 4 months

Which is bullshit because I'm bored of seeing "wow guys, this was my first post".

L0v3isaverb · 4 months

My first post was the irl Nyan cat, got like 3500 karma or something

anytimeishousetime · 4 months

My only question, "WHY?!"

celocanth13 · 4 months

Nope

Jynxo · 4 months

I just submitted my first link. After 5 minutes I realized it was a repost, then I deleted it :(

wtfapkin · 4 months

My first post was actually quite successful, ngl.

I still got an egg in my face, tho

theinjun · 4 months

My first post was a cat picture so I got a bit of karma from that. However, my 2nd post which just so happened to be a text post, made the front page

miso_Reno · 4 months

What happens when you've been on reddit for awhile and think about posting something.

Ah yeah this is hilarious this will make the front page or at the very least get a few upvotes i'm aweso... wait... no... actually this is stupid... what was I thinking... fuck this.

TheNumberYellow · 4 months

My first post got to number 1 on the front page of r/starcraft so, obviously, I never posted again. Gotta quit when I'm ahead!

MegaMedli · 4 months

Not mine! :D

apullin · 4 months

No, the first post of almost every redditor is a CleverBot screencap.

Or an "impossible CAPTCHA".

Or an Omegle screencap, wherein the "narwhal bacon" thing is exchanged, or the facebook self-directing link.

These are all infinite wellsprings of non-creativity that are tapped ad infinitum around here.

meshugga · 4 months

Stratocaster89 · 4 months

Unless ofcourse they write [first post] in the title, then all sorts of morons upvote that shit out of pitty.

moogoogaipan11 · 4 months

It's called an "apostrophe," look it up.

joealarson · 4 months

Not mine. Every post since then has been downhill, but I nailed it with the first.

Skeezer1991 · 4 months

Great episode. Though the one where they all get addicted to smoking was better.

redmachined · 4 months

Why is the road made of black bricks?

chalz90 · 4 months

This pretty much sums up all of my posts...

r0nin · 4 months

I guess i was one of the lucky ones then?

Gegino · 4 months

Talk for yourself, please.

pittgirl317 · 4 months

My first post made the top page. Now there's no place to go but down.... :(

Mad_Hatter_Bot · 4 months

au contraire

liberal_texan · 4 months

My first post was actually my best by far. One day I will surpass it. One day.

Axoren · 4 months

Cough, cough

ISS5731 · 4 months

Not true for me at all. My first post got over 800 upvotes, so I figured that anything I post should get that many. Boy did I learn the hard way.

Dirly · 4 months

I think I'm at 10+ posts and I'm still doing that. The typos are a cruel mistress.

clark_ent · 4 months

Actually, based on the way algorithms take time to learn new users, there's a much higher chance of doing well on the first few posts then later on

TehMau5 · 4 months

My first posts did relatively well.

gartertrap · 4 months

My first post had amazing results! Then again, it was a gonewild post...

The_BT · 4 months

I now have to say this

Every time this happens.

falconderp · 4 months

Tell this to shitty water color

Tiwazdtr · 4 months

Glad to be part of the tradition!!!

shadeshadows · 4 months

...unless it's an image of their kitty

ccnxcg · 4 months

If you watch this gif for any amount of time, you can see your entire posting experience.

niomaster · 4 months

And the second... and the third...

sam220 · 4 months

Not if its on r/trees!!!

KrazyEyezKilla · 4 months

False. I'm one funny motherfucker.

saintstryfe · 4 months

Not mine - my first post was on Halloween '10, a picture of my brother and I dressed up as Mario and Luigi in home-made costumes my grandmother made us. She passed away a few months before and I had just found the picture in a box and I scanned it and created a Reddit account to see what people thought. I made the front page.

I think I front-paged with a Rage comic about annoying phone scammers who, when they call, I blast Nyancat in their ear at full volume.

Edit: here's that post:

http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/dymdo/almost_20_years_ago_my_grandmother_sewed_these/

pqzzny · 4 months

"This tornado's already at level two on the Fujisaki scale. A storm that strong can send an egg through a barn door. Two if one door is open. "

"What does a level three do, Mr. Gribble?"

"A level three can send an egg through a brick wall. Tornado chasers call it Humpty's Revenge."

SonofaM1tch · 4 months

My first post front paged f7u12. I'm not joking. Go check it out.

shutupjoey · 4 months

This is also the weather today.

Durpadoo · 4 months

Nah, just people that are failures.

creepyeyes · 4 months

I guess I got lucky, my first post netted me 76 karma or so.

ImaCarrot · 4 months

My first post was on my birthday and this is exactly how it went :P

rutocool · 4 months

My first post got more than 1,000 up votes, but only 600 some karma :( But then again, I didn't put FIRST like the rest of them.

ciaspook · 4 months

This is so accurate. I have posted one imgur link ever and it was original content, not a rage comic either. I was very disappointed indeed. No fucks or up votes were given.

SoFallsWichitaFalls · 4 months

I was thinking of commenting on the awesomeness of this post, but now I'm second guessing.

Lurking_Grue · 4 months

And 3rd and 4th.

lyons4398 · 4 months

Unless you are Neil Degrasse Tyson

staringispolite · 4 months

Every Redditor's

FTFY :)

Every redditor's first post gets unwanted grammar nazi attention as well!

Shippage · 4 months

rampart

LChurch · 4 months

Is this first post or first comment? Because all the link karma I have is for my one and only post and that was the other day...

I FEEL SO POWERFUL.

MetalFlameV · 4 months

Check my first post, I got really lucky.

Sekoan · 4 months

Like throwing an egg into the wind

tacoman115 · 4 months

i beg to differ

Hawkleer · 4 months

My first 2 posts were rage comics that made it to the front page of F7u12. Since then its been hit or miss. With a lot of misses I'll admit.

backflip11 · 4 months

Hey, don't be so nice. That's every post for me.

gargamak · 4 months

KARMA DUMP

BaronOfBarons · 4 months

Mine got an upvote, which I find bizarre, since it wasn't really anything special. I just said I liked Just Cause 2.

sicklyfish · 4 months

I was really careful at first, not so much now. Everybody needs to be downvoted now and then.

wetsandwiches · 4 months

I remember it painfully..

weedragonaut · 4 months

And their 9th, 10th, 11th...

gistak · 4 months

My first post did all right, though I think it would have done a lot better had I changed two things:

I asked for people to be gentle and it wasn't r/gonewild. I was kidding around, but it didn't go over well.
I posted a picture of video game baseball, when I had Mario up my sleeve. I thought the baseball was the better picture, but Mario was obviously the way to go.

The post.

nancy_ballosky · 4 months

I got 219 upvotes on my very first post. this reddit thing isn't that hard

VAPossum · 4 months

Speak for yourself, my first post got me 580 karma.

It's been downhill from there. :(

Irishactuary · 4 months

My first ever post got on the front page. This is an even worse feeling than trying to make it from scratch. Now I had the taste of that sweet sweet fame only to be thrown back into the gutters and have to crawl my way back to the top.

hankofthehill · 4 months

I remember my first post was an advice animal I made up. I posted it to r/pics. Didn't do very well.

boxofplaydoh · 4 months

r/kingofthehill

Bassnhauz · 4 months

Happen to me, just now.... :P

[deleted] · 4 months

Correction

Most Redditors post who are not a for profit business who uses 100+ accounts to game the system, all while Redditor admins claim the system cannot be gamed.

Andoo · 4 months

More like my first post to /r/starcraft.

CatsNarwhalsBacon · 4 months

That boy ain't right.

Moylander · 4 months

Except for Trapped_In_Reddit.

Rgplmr · 4 months

I'll have you know, my first post got 14 upvotes

GoodniteMush · 4 months

Yep. Exactly this. Haven't risked a second post.

Cygnus_X1 · 4 months

Actually my first actual post landed me 1000 karma. BOOM!

daultonoryan · 4 months

my firs t post (if comments count) got 50 points...

fadedspark · 4 months

no egg on my face.

Hell, Karma payout on post 3. And it's not like the first 2 were bad, just unnoticed ;)

[deleted] · 4 months

Except for mine.

ElvitaGlee · 4 months

FaceEgg

FedsAgainstGunS · 4 months

mine more or less froze in space time, no up votes, no down votes, no comments

vipatt · 4 months

I made that gif a while ago. For some reason, I got a little tingle in my penis seeing it being used.

coolyourjetsbro · 4 months

tell me about it

goodguys9 · 4 months

Aaaaand 2nd, and 3rd, and 4th....

Slack_Irritant · 4 months

not if you're a [f]emale who wants to show your vagina and/or anus

appamaniac · 4 months

I was an the exception. My first post hit the front page.

DramaQueen14 · 4 months

And my second...and third...

[deleted] · 4 months

Did everyone already forget about Ridiculously Photogenic Guy's first post?

9FingeredFrodo · 4 months

I'm new to Reddit, saw this post yesterday, and was determined to make my first post successful. End result: Epic failure

SexyGingerKid · 4 months

http://i.imgur.com/kwebf.jpg

funny

MODERATORS

KARMA DUMP

FaceEgg

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login