Not only did this happen, but it did at an extremely inopportune time.

I was in high school, and there was a presentation day for my class. I went with the kind of bitter topic called bullying, since there was someone in class - I call him the jackass - that just spent hours every day grilling me about my old jeans and shirts. I also hit puberty HARD and started getting chubby, so my belt was pointless, and my jeans became increasingly snug. That'll get important later.

I have lots of anxiety speaking in front of my peers, so I practiced for hours. I could recite that speech back and forth in my sleep, but somehow the thought of all those kids watching and judging me made my skin crawl.

Finally, the day came for school. I was walking up to the school rereading my speech when some jackass from behind me tossed it in the air and laughed. I angrily went to pick it up when I heard a small riiiip. I stopped immediately and slowly began to freak out; my pants were beginning to tear. Right between the cheeks.

I immediately shot up and continued walking, leaving the speech on the ground. My plan was to make as little movement in my pants as possible, so that the tear wouldn't happen. For the first class everything went okay. But all I could think about that day was Ohgodohgodohgodohgod don't tear anymore please.

Then came the class. I start walking toward the open door when that fucking belt loop latched on to the door. I kept walking, too stressed out to notice, when all of a sudden half of my jeans just tore in front of half the class. The people behind me just stopped and gasped, as did the students already in the class. And there I was, in old tightey-whiteys, in front of a class of my peers.

The jackass in the class stood up and without missing a beat shouted "BLITHON'S TIGHTEY-WHITEYS ARE SHOWING!!!" I remember running to the bathroom, with people just laughing at me. Once inside I cried for a good half-hour until someone came, probably to quiet me down. They brought me to the front office, where I waited with someone's pink sweater covering my tear until my mom came to pick me up.

I fucking hate those belt loops with every fiber of my being. Also, fuck bullying.